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class, an all new season now streaming only

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on Freebie. Hello

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everybody

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and welcome back to Crime and Sports.

0:51

Yay! Oh

0:53

yay indeed Jimmy. Yay indeed. My name

0:55

is James Petrogalow. I'm here with my

0:57

co-host. I'm Jimmy Wisman.

0:59

Thank you folks so much for

1:02

joining us today on an absolutely

1:04

insane beginning of a wild journey

1:06

today. Let's just say that this is going

1:08

to be a couple of parts at least

1:10

two possibly three. And it's

1:13

absolute insanity. It's a guy that people

1:15

have been asking for since I believe

1:18

we got our first message about him

1:20

like our third week of the show,

1:22

which was literally March 2015. It

1:26

was it's 16. Yeah. February, it

1:28

was like March 2016 we

1:30

started getting our fan. It's been

1:32

constant and there's a reason why

1:34

because this person is one

1:36

of the craziest people who's ever existed that

1:38

happens to also have sports talent. It's

1:40

bonkers shit. We'll talk all about

1:43

it. Before we get to that

1:45

head over to shutupandgivememurder.com. Merchandise is

1:47

there. Also tickets to live shows

1:49

for small town murder all of

1:51

2024. Everything's available. There's

1:53

12 dates up there. They're going fast. Like

1:55

Phoenix is sold out already. Yeah. While it

1:57

is. Yeah. Some of these shows are very.

2:00

close to selling out better and Phoenix is in

2:02

November. So that's what I mean.

2:04

Get your tickets now, do all of that,

2:06

shut up and give me murder.com. You definitely,

2:08

definitely want to listen to our other shows

2:10

which are Small Town Murder which we've been

2:12

telling you about for seven of the eight

2:14

years and then of course you want

2:17

to listen to your stupid opinions if you haven't because

2:19

I'm telling you if you like this show you're going

2:21

to love that show. I'm

2:24

going to go out on a limb here. It's the

2:26

funniest goddamn show on the

2:28

internet. You're going to find. I challenge

2:30

you, laughs per minute wise, I challenge

2:32

you to put it up against any

2:34

stand-up special you might watch and it's

2:36

fucking fun. It's goddamn incredible. Every single

2:38

week, check it out. We're done tooting

2:40

our own horns like fucking idiots. Yeah.

2:43

I feel like an asshole now for that. But it's true. It's

2:47

how proud of it we are. So do

2:49

that and you definitely want Patreon. patreon.com/crime

2:52

and sports is where you

2:54

get all the bonus material.

2:56

We have a ton of it. Anybody $5 a month

2:58

or above you get this giant back catalog of

3:01

a couple hundred episodes and then you get new

3:03

episodes every other week. One crime and

3:05

sports, one small-town murder and this week we have

3:07

some good shit for you. This week which you're

3:10

going to get for crime and sports we're going

3:12

to talk about Morgana the Kissing Bandit. Now

3:14

you don't know who she is. Everybody's

3:17

seen a highlight of her. She is

3:19

a blonde woman with size, I

3:22

don't know, triple Q tits like

3:24

... Texas-sized titties. I mean, her

3:27

whole torso are her boobs. And

3:30

she would for some reason let her run

3:32

on to sports fields in the middle of

3:34

games and she'd go kiss players and nobody

3:37

would get upset. The players would smile, she'd

3:39

laugh, and then she'd run off

3:41

the field with her giant tits bouncing and everybody

3:43

would cheer. And that was that. There was no

3:45

security involved, nobody cared. What the

3:47

hell? How do you do that? We'll talk

3:49

all about that. And then for

3:51

small-town murder we're going to talk about the prisoner

3:53

dating game. Oh yes. Again,

3:55

another edition of the prisoner dating game.

3:58

You know you want to hear that. Jimmy's going to

4:01

pick one of each, actually. We

4:03

have set up four young ladies and four young

4:05

men, and the only thing they all have in

4:07

common is they are terrible, violent felons. Will

4:11

he pick the child molester? That's the joke

4:13

here. So we'll see. patreon.com/Crime

4:15

and Sports. And you'll get a shout out

4:17

at the end of the show where Jimmy

4:20

will mispronounce your name, even though he'd love

4:22

to get it right. That

4:24

said, let's do it here. It's

4:26

been a long time in the making,

4:28

and let's do this with Paul Gascoigne.

4:31

We're going to get into this. Now, I've got to say, first

4:33

of all, this is a soccer

4:35

episode, number one football episode, and

4:39

a British episode as well. So we

4:41

absolutely just ask that you

4:43

find our ignorance charming. We try our

4:45

best, and we will make fun of

4:47

ourselves for shit we don't know. Put

4:50

it that way. That's how we always

4:52

do it with that. And

4:54

this episode, it was

4:57

started a year ago, this episode, okay, the research for

4:59

this. We were going to do it a year ago.

5:03

Allison started the research. She does our research for

5:05

small town murder. And she started

5:07

this research, and it was a lot. And I was

5:09

like, whoa, this is a lot. We got to... And

5:12

I realized there was even more to get into,

5:14

and all of this. So I saved it, kind

5:16

of had some stuff put aside for it, and

5:19

then Ian came on board, and then he tackled

5:21

this thing like crazy and broke it down into

5:23

hundreds of pages. And then on

5:25

top of that, I've read several books on

5:28

the man, including Gaza, his own

5:30

book that he wrote about himself, and

5:33

Gaza in Italy, and all these... His

5:36

nickname is Gaza? Gaza, guy, G-A-Z-Z-A.

5:38

Gaza, I guess you'd say, Gaza.

5:42

So this... Oh my

5:44

God, I've heard so much about this guy. He is

5:46

a fucking lunatic. If

5:49

you're an American listener and you're like, I don't

5:51

care about soccer, it does not matter because this

5:53

guy is nuts. Even if we're talking about a

5:55

soccer game, at some point he'll do something crazy

5:57

in it and it'll be entertaining. Let's

6:00

get into it. Paul

6:02

John Gascoigne, and

6:05

it's G-A-S-C-O-I-G-N-E. So

6:10

I looked at it and I was like, oh,

6:12

he's a paisone. Gaschione, okay. What's up, Gaschione? But

6:14

that's not it at all. We'll talk about the

6:16

origins of it. His birthplace

6:19

is Gateshead, England. Now

6:22

he will also...

6:25

I don't know... See, this is the

6:27

thing. We don't know British geography. This is

6:29

the finder ignorance charming. But I've heard this

6:31

several times. He says he's

6:33

a Geordie. Now that's

6:36

someone from a certain area that

6:38

has a very specific accent. It's

6:41

difficult to understand. It's a tough one. Because at

6:44

one point he says when he's small, he goes

6:46

to some coach and the coach was a Geordie

6:48

too and he could understand him. And he was

6:50

like, oh, fuck. Thank God I could be understood.

6:52

But I saw in Kitchen Nightmares once the UK

6:54

version there, Gordon went to some restaurant

6:56

and the guy was a Geordie and I was like, wow,

6:58

his accent is hard. Not

7:00

like Welsh. Welsh is like another

7:03

language. That's crazy. It is fascinating

7:05

how easy they pick them

7:07

out too. I mean, it's similar

7:09

here in America where you can

7:11

pick a fucking Minnesotan or Wisconsin

7:13

accent. A Texas from Alabama. They

7:15

sound different. You know what I mean? Louisiana

7:17

from Florida. What else? Boston from

7:19

New York. Same shit. So

7:22

the Naked

7:25

Attraction, the show that I watch, they

7:27

have six people and they roll their curtain up and

7:29

then they let them talk and then the guy or

7:31

person picking between the people picks

7:35

based on the distance from which they live

7:37

from him. And he can tell by based

7:39

on the fucking accent. He's like, oh, I

7:41

can't be with her. She lives

7:43

way too far north. Yes. And

7:45

it's a lot and it's not that big of a

7:48

country. That's the thing too. It's

7:50

all kind of driving distance, whereas you'll hear that

7:52

a lot. Yeah. We watch that

7:54

First Dates show where they

7:56

have the cameras around the restaurant there. There's a

7:58

UK version that has like eight. 87 seasons

8:00

or something and yeah, they're always saying it

8:02

too like oh that accent we Bristol boy.

8:04

Oh boy. Okay. Well, yeah That's too far. I

8:07

live over there. It's like what the hell is

8:09

going on here? You live an hour away

8:11

from each other No, no, mate. I ain't

8:13

going work. Yeah, it's crazy. So he's from

8:15

Gateshead wherever that is He's

8:17

five foot ten. Not a big guy. Yeah

8:19

a great player. That's the other thing we

8:21

have to say is he's a lunatic But

8:24

he's almost like a Lawrence Taylor where

8:26

he's a lunatic, but he's also a

8:28

fucking amazing player He's great.

8:30

Yeah, there's no denying how good he is which

8:33

is you know makes him be able to

8:35

keep fucking up because He's

8:38

able to keep doing what he wants to board it. Yeah,

8:40

he can afford it and well I don't know if after

8:42

a while if he can afford it. So Let's

8:45

see. He's born May 27th 1967

8:48

here His

8:51

father's name is John. His mother's name

8:53

is Carol. They're an interesting an

8:56

interesting lot the two of them he

8:58

what he had an older sister who's like

9:00

a year older than him named Anna Maria

9:02

and He said he was

9:05

born and then his brother Carl is a year

9:07

younger than him So they banged

9:09

out like three kids in three years

9:11

his parents right away And then seven

9:13

years later they had Lindsay who was

9:15

seven years younger than Paul So four

9:17

kids total Lindsay is a daughter So he's

9:20

got there's two boys two girls two and

9:22

two Yeah, when two and him and his

9:24

brother him and his brother are like a year apart

9:26

So you can imagine the flight on

9:28

there. Yeah. Yeah at one point He tells

9:31

a story about fighting with his brother It

9:33

sounds like these aren't like these

9:35

aren't little wrestling matches on the living room floor These

9:37

are like these are like bar room

9:39

brawls like someone's head's gonna go through a

9:41

jukebox at the end of it It's fucking

9:43

like a way year old. Yeah, it's

9:46

like the Girl Scout fight an airplane like all the

9:48

time with these people So

9:50

he was named Paul John in tribute

9:53

to You know

9:55

who Beatles and his dad Paul McCartney and

9:57

John Lennon of the Beatles how about it

10:00

67 the Beatles are the biggest thing in

10:03

the world and especially in the fucking in

10:05

the UK. Oh God Liverpool forget it Yeah,

10:07

our people someone from here is the biggest

10:09

thing in the world is pretty cool in

10:11

the world in the world Oh, yeah, Jesus.

10:13

It was nuts. His father is a

10:16

hod carrier H.O.V.

10:18

I will talk about it. We think I don't have

10:20

a definition of this hod

10:23

carrier I am a hod carrier carry

10:25

that on Let's go That's

10:28

a job just to carry the hod. Put it on

10:30

your back. Yes See if he was

10:32

really good he put some on his head too,

10:34

but this guy's not good We're gonna have to put

10:37

him in your pockets now also the last name

10:39

They don't if Paul says he doesn't know the

10:41

origin of his last name Some of his relatives say

10:43

that they were French at some point and that's

10:45

where it came from But gee

10:47

in it. Yeah, but who the fuck

10:49

knows base? It's one of us that he has no

10:51

idea honestly What the origin is

10:53

now a hod carrier a

10:56

brick a brick hod is

10:58

a three-sided box for carrying bricks

11:00

Or other building materials often mortar

11:04

it bears a long handle and is carried

11:06

over the shoulder A hod is

11:08

usually long enough to accept four bricks on

11:10

their side. Does everybody see in it? It's the

11:12

thing that goes on older where you see like

11:14

old-timey guys and construction sites going up with

11:16

like two buckets on it He's

11:19

a he's a wheelbarrow. He's a job.

11:21

Yeah, he's a he's a vertical wheelbarrow

11:24

That's what he is Guys are because otherwise

11:26

you use a wheelbarrow unless you're going up

11:28

a fucking giant ladder or something. Yeah these

11:30

guys do Gaffolding. Yeah,

11:32

they say however by arranging bricks in

11:35

a chevron fashion The number of bricks

11:37

that may be carried is only limited

11:39

to the weight the laborer can bear

11:42

and the unyieldiness of that load Typically

11:44

10 to 12 bricks might be carried

11:46

at once Herringbone it

11:49

and if you if your thighs can

11:51

do it. Yeah, my Christ. That is

11:53

wild hod That's a tough day. That's

11:55

it. This is hard work. I'm

11:58

carrying is a laboring occupation

12:00

in the building industry. Typically the

12:02

HOD carrier or HODDY, the

12:06

HODDY, will be employed by a bricklaying

12:08

team in a supporting role for the

12:10

brick layers. Two brick layers for each

12:13

HOD carrier is typical. So

12:15

he's carrying them the bricks. A HODDY's

12:17

duties might include wetting

12:19

the mortar boards on the

12:21

scaffolding prior to

12:23

fetching bricks from the delivery

12:25

palette, using his HODD, and bringing them

12:27

to two by two foot

12:30

wide stacks upon the scaffold that may then

12:32

may be easily laid by the brick layer.

12:34

So he comes up and builds like a

12:36

little brick palette for him so they can

12:38

use them. This is a horrible job. He

12:40

jangers a bunch of bricks together for these

12:42

guys to get the job done. How bad

12:44

do you want to be a layer at

12:46

this point? Like, oh man.

12:48

Somebody show me. Wow. The carrier should

12:50

plan the deliveries of bricks with deliveries

12:52

of mortar also carried in the HODD

12:54

to ensure the brick layers can maintain

12:56

a constant work rate. So you've

12:59

got to like keep make sure they have everything.

13:01

At sites without pre-mixed mortar, the mortar will also

13:03

be mixed by the HODD carrier. So sometimes you

13:05

have to mix it. Bricks

13:08

may be cut and assistance given to

13:10

rake out the mortar joints if that

13:12

coursing joint form is required or in

13:14

repointing work. The baseline

13:16

rate for a brick layer is to lay a

13:19

thousand bricks a day. If the HODD carrier is

13:21

serving a team of two, he must move 2,000

13:24

bricks although it's not uncommon for

13:26

experienced HODD carriers to handle three guys. They

13:28

take on three guys, Jimmy, all at once.

13:30

He can take all three. A nice little

13:32

tower with a guy waiting. At a boy.

13:35

Bricks all over the place here. Imagine

13:38

doing that all day long and then coming

13:40

home and then having four kids.

13:43

Any sort of frustration. Oh

13:45

boy. That's old school. The

13:47

world record for moving 500

13:49

bricks by a HODD is 12

13:52

minutes. Yeah. 12 minutes

13:55

for moving 500 bricks. It's the

13:57

world record. Paul Gaskelman. Everybody. everybody

14:00

work on that. I'm sure it was actually Darren Whitmore in

14:02

2011 that set that record. Oh,

14:07

he just broke the record. Jesus. That's why I

14:09

remember I got you that Darren Whitmore poster. Just

14:11

that guy, you're like, it's a dude carrying bricks.

14:13

I'm like, dude, he's the best. Come on. You

14:16

have no idea. This guy is fucking good.

14:18

Play that and hang it. Oh

14:21

yeah. So his mother works

14:23

in a factory, in a clothing factory,

14:25

and also does cleaning work and shit

14:27

later on. Paul

14:29

says his grand, one set of grandparents

14:31

is Irish, so he knows he's part

14:33

Irish. He's got that. He

14:36

said his parents met and at a

14:38

dance, which is an old school way

14:40

of meeting, and they got married in 1966 when

14:44

his sister was born. And they were,

14:46

he, when they had him, they lived

14:48

in a one room council house. So

14:51

that sounds broke. They were broke

14:53

as fuck. One room, he's carrying bricks and she's

14:56

working in a shit factory. England

14:58

really took a long time. That's the other thing too

15:00

that we have to get. America had

15:02

a totally different experience after World War

15:05

II because we weren't bombed

15:07

constantly. Right. We were shelled

15:09

unmercifully. It was very different.

15:12

So we came out in the 50s,

15:14

we're like a prosperous thing. Everybody's buying

15:16

cars and houses. They

15:18

were depressed. England was a depression that went

15:20

on for 30 years. I mean, it was

15:22

a long, in the 60s, they were

15:24

still digging out of World War II and

15:27

trying to get the economy

15:29

right. I think they might

15:31

have. The Beatles and all those bands at

15:33

least have brought some, maybe brought some stank

15:35

back to that fucking island. So

15:37

that's where they did. They

15:40

moved around, I guess

15:42

the family did, trying to find

15:44

bigger houses until they finally got

15:46

a two bedroom house. In

15:49

that house, he shared a room with his sister,

15:51

Anna Maria, for a

15:53

while, which makes no sense because he has a brother

15:55

that's a ... Why would you? They

15:58

just ... Too old. The oldest kids

16:00

in there, two youngest kids in there, which the

16:03

boys are the same age. Put them together. What

16:05

are we doing? Doesn't make sense. Well,

16:07

I guess the oldest certainly gets a room,

16:09

right? Plus, no, the oldest

16:11

is sharing one with Paul. Yeah,

16:14

but I'm saying she gets the room

16:16

first, and we only got two boys,

16:18

so one of them go in there with her, I

16:20

guess. She certainly gets the

16:22

room. That's why he shared a room with her. Maybe

16:25

the boys would beat the shit out of each other all night, too.

16:27

Maybe. Probably cut off. This

16:29

might be a way to just keep their sanity

16:31

here. Paul

16:33

said he would, as he put it, quote,

16:36

amuse himself, this is from his book here,

16:38

by tearing pieces of plaster off the wall

16:41

and throwing it at his sister as she

16:43

tried to fall asleep. That was how he

16:45

amused himself when he was like five,

16:47

six years old. I'll part the house

16:49

and hit my sister with pieces of it. Break

16:52

the house and throw chunks of

16:54

hard stone-like objects at her as she

16:56

tries to sleep. Isn't that

16:59

fun? This kid's right away,

17:01

you can tell, he's a dick. He

17:03

got his first football at age seven,

17:06

his first soccer ball at age seven,

17:08

and he immediately knew he was better at it than

17:10

the other boys. It was one of those things like

17:12

... Wow, just howling out of the gate. Hit the

17:15

ground running. Before that, he would

17:17

fuck around. This is from his book. Quote,

17:20

I started off with a tennis ball. I

17:22

took it everywhere. As

17:24

a soccer ball, he'd use it. Yeah. Picking

17:27

a tennis ball. Yeah, so that's like

17:29

when guys hit ... I think it

17:31

was Edgar Martinez, the Mariners'

17:33

hitter that used to hit. He'd

17:36

have golf balls pitched to him from

17:38

a pitching machine. He tried

17:40

to hit the golf balls, and that was baseball.

17:42

Yeah, that's small. They looked like beach balls after

17:44

that. It's very easy to hit, which makes sense.

17:46

You pick up two bats in the batting circle

17:48

for a fucking reason. It

17:51

seems like ... He

17:53

said, then when I was seven, my dad came

17:55

back from working as a HOD carrier in Germany

17:57

and brought me a football. I kicked that ...

18:00

thing for hours and hours. I was obsessed.

18:02

It seemed to stick to my feet. I

18:04

was eight and playing against 12-year-olds and

18:06

seemed to be beating them for fun.

18:09

Fascinating. He's just good. Soccer

18:13

seems to be one of those sports where

18:15

some people are just really good at it

18:17

naturally. It's a weird thing. I wish I

18:19

was so good at sports. Right.

18:22

You wouldn't have known. You might be incredible at soccer,

18:24

but you would have never known it because you were

18:26

trying to play basketball. I'm

18:30

not going to work. When

18:34

I do play with children, because

18:36

my kids, I

18:39

fucking smoke them with soccer. I

18:46

dunk all over my kids on that little pike

18:48

soup. I'm so good at them. I'm so good

18:50

at soccer, playing against children. That's

18:53

awesome. They're all very impressed. I'm pretty good

18:55

at basketball, too, against kids. I block their

18:58

shots and take that and suck shit in

19:00

their faces. Shit

19:03

loads of rebounds. The children will not come in

19:05

my house. Stay out

19:07

of my paint, buddy. I

19:10

love it. It does. Jimmy fucking dribbling

19:13

a soccer ball in circles around children is

19:15

a great fucking visual. I will say that.

19:17

I've got a great sidestep, too, to where

19:19

I can clip the ball

19:22

behind my back leg. Then I

19:25

take another step and get the ball back.

19:27

They are mesmerized when I can do it.

19:31

These are American children who did not throw up playing

19:33

soccer, by the way. They're like, what?

19:36

They're like, what's that about? What are you doing? She's

19:39

got a hacky sack. It would blow their minds. I

19:42

mag them. It's impressive. He's

19:46

got some problems, though. Soccer, he's

19:48

got no problems. On the field

19:50

is where he has no problems.

19:52

Sure. He'll make problems for himself.

19:55

You can create them. Oh, he does create them.

20:00

how one day he

20:02

was playing soccer and he said he

20:04

was playing late at night, not

20:07

late at night, two in the morning, but it

20:09

got dark out and then he was walking home.

20:11

He's seven years old, walking home by himself. In

20:13

the dark. In the dark and he

20:16

said he, this is early 70s in England somewhere.

20:18

I don't know if that's probably,

20:20

it seems safe. Kids used to hitchhike in America at

20:22

that age in the 70s. A

20:26

lot of people disappeared that way. Well, they did,

20:28

but you know what? A lot of people disappear

20:30

anyway. Shit loads that

20:32

way though. So many disappear.

20:35

The percentage of people who actually

20:38

are disappeared by strangers is very minuscule. It

20:40

really is. We hear about it because you're

20:42

like, holy shit, how'd that happen? Because it's

20:44

everybody's worst fucking nightmare. So when it does

20:47

happen, holy shit. You're way more likely to

20:49

be killed by someone who's sleeping in your

20:51

house. Right next to you. That's who's

20:53

going to kill you if we're going on math

20:55

here. You know their name. Oh, you absolutely

20:57

know their name and you'll probably know why they're doing

21:00

it too. That's the other thing. You know why it's

21:02

happening. You shaped meals with them and you're very aware.

21:04

So he's walking home and he said he started looking

21:06

up at the stars. Yeah. And

21:09

he started thinking about how big the stars are

21:11

and how big the world is and how big

21:13

the sky is and what's going to happen if

21:15

this happens and started having all these twisted thoughts

21:18

of, well then, how long am I going to

21:20

live? He said the first time he started thinking

21:22

about dying and how long am I going to

21:24

live because out of the stars and things die

21:26

and it's a whole cyclical thing. Do

21:29

you remember that realization when you had it? Yeah,

21:31

yes. But it's different. My family's morbid. I

21:33

had a great grandmother that died when I

21:35

was like three and we all had to

21:38

go to the funeral or four. And it

21:40

was very, I knew about death.

21:43

Italians are morbid. Death is right there. I

21:45

was a wild type, but like my

21:48

own mortality, it occurred to me while I

21:50

was laying in bed, those same

21:52

thoughts, thinking about space. And I was like,

21:54

yeah, and then I got down to me.

21:56

Oh my God, it's going to happen. Oh

21:58

yeah. me up for

22:00

a little bit. Yeah, yeah, I think

22:02

every kid has that realization. Real uncomfortable

22:04

in bed. Yeah, I

22:07

think I had that pretty early, I think, and I was

22:09

like, yeah, man, that's like, yeah. That

22:11

like, restless leg syndrome feeling in your whole

22:13

fucking body? Well, no, I started, I started

22:16

thinking all the time about like, what if

22:18

I go to sleep and I die? So

22:21

I go to sleep and I die in my sleep.

22:23

So I just go to sleep and then I don't,

22:25

I never wake up. Like, so every night

22:27

do I have to think like, you know, oh shit, this

22:29

could be, you know, my last

22:31

minute here. Because he's the one. Yeah, maybe that's

22:34

why I can't sleep. Maybe that's

22:36

why I can't sleep. I remember having those thoughts

22:38

from like five years old. So maybe

22:41

that, maybe I just trained myself of like, well, yeah, don't

22:43

sleep and you're fine. That's like my

22:45

favorite thought, I think. Like if that's a

22:47

good one, if that's how it goes, that's

22:49

fucking great. Yeah, no, it's going to happen

22:51

in traffic though. You know, that's where it's

22:54

going to happen. Yeah, I'm going to

22:56

be yelling at something that doesn't matter

22:58

and my head will explode. Yeah,

23:02

be yelling at a fucking, at a reality

23:04

show that we're watching or something. I'm like,

23:06

and your whole body will just go cold.

23:09

I think I'm internally bleeding. Yeah. Jesus

23:11

Christ, Cody, that's what you get when you

23:13

want to have four wives, you dumb ramen

23:15

haired asshole fucking god. And my head's going

23:17

to blow up. I can't feel my fingers.

23:20

Yep. That's what's going to happen. Everything's cold. I

23:22

can see it. I'm freezing.

23:24

I can smell it. So

23:28

he starts having a fear of death. And

23:30

from then on too, he said, he starts

23:33

having this, like just kind of an

23:35

OCD thing a little bit. Like he

23:37

said, if he starts getting like, let's say his eye,

23:39

you don't even have a little muscle spasm in your

23:41

eye. So let's say my eye twitches will all start

23:43

to freak out about it, spin out and think, what

23:45

if that never stops and then it'll get worse and

23:47

it'll, his brain, that's all he's thinking about and it'll

23:49

take over his whole day. Paul,

23:51

he's sick. He'll lose his fucking mind. Yeah. That's

23:54

what I mean. He's, it's a, he's got like

23:56

an OCD thing going on. That's not, no one

23:58

ever helps him with. And then he reported. places,

24:00

he just treats that with alcohol. Really?

24:04

Massive amounts of alcohol to chill

24:07

all that out is what he says. Seven,

24:09

he started this. Not drinking, but thinking that

24:11

way. Yeah, the thoughts. And that's the

24:14

thing, you have those thoughts for a few years

24:16

and then you have booze for the first time

24:18

and the first time you have it and then

24:20

none of those thoughts happen all night, you go,

24:22

I found the cure. That's it.

24:24

I fixed it. I

24:27

fixed it. All fixed. All fixed, mate. I'm

24:29

all right. Yeah, that's right. All

24:33

right, all right, you're all right. I'm all

24:35

right. All right. All right, isn't it? So

24:38

he says that his

24:40

father also later on will

24:42

get ill and we'll talk

24:44

about that, which provoked twitching

24:46

and anxiety things like physical

24:48

manifestations of anxiety and fall.

24:51

Ticks. Ticks, shit like that. He said

24:53

he received psychiatric help for

24:55

the first time when suffering from a severe

24:57

depression at the age of 13. So

25:02

this is all usually shit that maybe starts

25:04

when he was 13. He

25:06

started early and he's on a path here. So you're

25:09

supposed to talk to the therapist in your 30s and

25:11

they go, you should come to see me when you're

25:13

13. Or when you're 17

25:15

and you fucked up a bunch and your parents are like,

25:17

listen, we don't know what else to do with him. You

25:19

know what I mean? It

25:23

is weird though that they recognize that he's

25:25

so bad that at 13 he needs to

25:27

go talk to a professional. He's got, I

25:29

don't know if school noticed it or what,

25:31

but he's got like a severe depression while

25:33

he's playing amazing soccer. That's the other thing

25:36

too. So it's just soccer. Okay. Not

25:38

soccer bad. That's it.

25:40

Fascinating. So, he says at

25:43

age eight, he

25:45

was on an older kid's team and

25:48

the kids were 12 years old and

25:50

he was eight and he was beating the shit out

25:52

of them. He won his first trophy at 10. Awesome.

25:56

He said it was a cool trophy and he

25:58

loved the feeling and that's when he did. decided

26:00

he wanted to be a professional soccer player.

26:03

That's his age. Yeah, and more importantly though, he

26:05

decided that's how I'm going to make millions of

26:07

dollars is doing that. He goes, oh

26:09

wow. Because otherwise, it's millions of pounds. Yeah. I'm

26:13

a mess. Yeah. So he's already

26:15

aware in the 70s there that that shit pays

26:17

very, very well. Oh yeah. I

26:19

mean, all those guys lived a totally different

26:21

lifestyle than a HOD layer or

26:23

a HOD carrier. When he's dealing with

26:26

a HOD carrier and then you're looking at these guys,

26:28

and I'm sure you could see him on TV and

26:30

they got fancy cars and shit like that, they've always

26:32

been, you know, fucking flash,

26:34

you know, the celebrities of sports

26:36

over there. He loved Pele

26:38

growing up, which I think

26:40

every kid who enjoyed soccer in the 70s loved

26:42

Pele. Mr. Jordan. Yeah. Yeah,

26:45

that was, remember even in the 80s we all

26:47

knew Pele was and I didn't even like soccer.

26:49

In America. Yeah. I've never

26:51

seen a soccer match. I knew who that motherfucker

26:54

was. No, knew who he was though. Yeah. Because

26:56

there wasn't even like an Atari game. Didn't he have

26:58

a Pele as Atari soccer or some shit back in

27:01

the day? I know he

27:03

had a video game. I don't know which. I didn't have it,

27:05

but I remember seeing it in the little catalog when I

27:07

was four. I couldn't even fuck about FIFA Soccer

27:09

until 2000, I think. Actually

27:12

I don't care about soccer, but soccer games

27:15

are fun. Soccer. They are.

27:18

PlayStation games are fucking fun. Yeah. I

27:20

don't know why. They really are. they're

27:23

still fun. But hockey games are fun too. Yeah. Hockey,

27:27

I got into. Hockey games I got into

27:29

in Sega, but I didn't. Fuck. Yeah.

27:33

Big time. I didn't get FIFA Soccer until PlayStation 2.

27:35

Yeah. Yeah. I

27:37

remember. So much fun though. Yeah.

27:40

It was fun. Many put their hope in Dr.

27:42

Serhat. His company was worth half a billion dollars.

27:45

His research promised groundbreaking treatments

27:47

for HIV and cancer. Scientists,

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doctors, renowned experts were

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saying genius, genius, genius. People

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that knew him were convinced that he saved

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their life. But the brilliant

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doctor was... a secret. Do

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not cross this line that was

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being messaged to us. Do not

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cross this line. A secret the

28:08

doctor was desperate to keep. This

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was a person who was willing

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to cold-heartedly just lie to

28:15

people's faces. We're dealing with

28:17

an international fugitive.

28:20

From wondering the makers of Over My

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comes a new season of Dr. Death.

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Fad Magic. I'm

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Laura Beal. You can listen to

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in the Wendry app. A

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web of manipulation and terrifying abuse. If you'd

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get your BBC podcasts. So

29:10

on the bad side his

29:12

dad is out of work a lot too. Like

29:14

for a while here he will go, his dad

29:17

will go to Germany for a year to try to get work.

29:19

There's not a lot of work going on. No. There's not a

29:21

lot of rebuilding of the old shit. Not

29:26

even. I don't know if his dad's

29:28

just kind of... his dad might be

29:30

a fuckup that kind of won't be

29:32

able to hire him anymore. We

29:35

don't know. But his parents would have

29:37

violent fights apparently. I can't

29:39

imagine he's got a great attitude at work either then.

29:41

That's what I mean if he's beaten his wife. This

29:44

is especially when he was out of work. So he's

29:46

not even making that money and he'd

29:49

be fighting there. Now Paul

29:51

here didn't... wasn't good with

29:53

authority let's say. No. Not big

29:55

into authority here. He has a... A

30:00

tough relationship with his mom. Very,

30:03

as he put it, combustible. Oh,

30:05

yeah. He

30:08

never described a relationship with anybody

30:10

as combustible. Combustible. They would

30:13

get into giant arguments and that would include,

30:15

at the end, she'd be hitting them and it would

30:17

be all sorts of crazy. But big arguments, not just

30:19

her telling him to do something, he didn't do it.

30:23

She whacked him one. It's more like they got

30:25

into a giant, like they were married people. Strange.

30:27

Strange. Yeah. I don't know

30:30

if that started maybe when dad was

30:32

away for a year. So

30:34

it's like, well, you're the oldest boy and

30:36

let's argue. There's some arguing to be done.

30:38

I'm not sure. Also, if dad's not

30:40

around and she is the authority and he has a

30:42

problem with authority. He's got a big problem. He's not

30:45

good. Yeah. He said that all

30:47

sorts of just violence in

30:49

the house. The siblings beat the shit out

30:51

of each other. The parents fought. The parents

30:53

fought the kids. Everybody was fighting each other.

30:55

So that's where he comes from

30:57

here. He said that

30:59

one time he was fighting with Carl. This

31:02

is when they were like, yeah, they were like eight

31:04

and nine or some shit. He's

31:06

fighting with Carl. He got thrown into

31:08

the TV and broke it. He

31:11

broke the TV by being thrown into it. He got

31:13

thrown, he said like over it. I

31:16

mean, was this like an old West Bar fight?

31:18

What the fuck? These are fucking nine year olds

31:20

throwing each other over a TV. Then

31:22

he grabbed onto it and took it down with him and

31:24

broke it. He said

31:26

he ran away for a couple days to fucking

31:30

get beat. He said he got up

31:32

and ran right out the door. Like, uh oh, I'm going to

31:34

get my ass kicked. Disappeared for

31:36

a couple days because he knew he'd get a good bulleking

31:38

on that one. So that

31:41

makes sense. Bulleking. He's going to kick

31:43

his fucking balls in apparently. So

31:45

his dad, like I said, went away for a

31:47

year to Germany to find work. He

31:50

said never really sent any money home either. So

31:52

it's not like he was away sending home fat

31:54

paychecks or anything. He

31:56

was just gone for a year. Why are you gone? Yeah. But

32:00

besides that not really doing anything took me

32:02

a year to get this It took me

32:05

a year his mom worked three jobs in

32:07

the absence of death Holy

32:09

and I'm not talking three part-time jobs. She

32:11

works this one on Tuesday and that one

32:13

on Thursday She would

32:16

do a cleaning job in the morning work

32:18

that all day. Yeah, then She

32:21

would do a factory job in the

32:23

afternoon for like three hours part-time then

32:25

come home get the kids Sorted with

32:27

dinner and all that kind of shit

32:29

then go back and do cleaning work until

32:31

11 o'clock or midnight She

32:33

takes 10 minute naps here and there that was her

32:36

day. Yeah, that's what she had to do so

32:38

that's a lot, you know what I mean to To

32:41

deal with and have four kids at the same time

32:44

I can't imagine that and some guy in

32:46

Germany fucking not doing anything When

32:49

his dad came back from Germany his health

32:51

started failing. He started having seizures and all

32:53

sorts of weird Problems

32:56

neurological problems. So

32:58

he was in the hospital for eight months

33:02

Eight months eight months could it be harder on

33:04

mom now now dad's in the hospital for eight

33:06

months You gotta deal with that too. And

33:08

there's a medical bill that comes along with that. I mean

33:11

mingle on the Jesus not

33:13

in England. There isn't oh, yeah

33:15

Great in England that won't completely destroy

33:17

that your future of your family. Yeah,

33:19

if you were in a hospital ruin you

33:22

If you are in the hospital here for like

33:24

three weeks you go take you just pull roll

33:27

me into the parking lot I can't do this

33:29

point. I'd rather I'd rather die. Yeah. Yeah, you're

33:31

gonna die Well, I can't be in here any

33:33

longer either way. I pay for this anyway Yeah,

33:35

I'm gonna eat cat food for the rest of

33:37

my life or I'm gonna fucking die here. So

33:39

there's really no difference You know,

33:41

I will spend every dime I've saved with

33:44

there. That doesn't so that's helpful So

33:46

he said his dad they knew that he

33:49

was better He finally got out when they

33:51

were giving him like cognitive tests and yeah,

33:53

you know Kind of just little

33:55

mental tests and they gave him a test

33:57

showing him pictures of different animals doing

34:00

thing. And they asked him what

34:02

was happening and his dad said,

34:04

it's an elephant fucking another elephant.

34:08

And they said, all right, he's back to normal. That

34:10

was his back to normal. That's what

34:12

he's like. They

34:15

said that's what he's supposed to, that's his baseline. So they're like,

34:18

all right, you're good. You're back. If he said something nice, they'd

34:20

have kept him. I mean,

34:22

I don't, obviously we don't know what his whole

34:24

diagnosis is and what put him in there, but

34:26

I can't imagine the, the job site safety of

34:28

OSHA is fantastic in 1970s

34:30

Germany. Who

34:34

knows what chemicals

34:37

are in, what you know, powder

34:39

shit from the mortaries and the

34:41

mortar mixtures. I had no idea.

34:44

Paul said all the kids, but when he got out of

34:46

the hospital too, he was too sick to work and he

34:48

never worked again. So that didn't

34:50

help any. He said all

34:53

the kids recognize elephant porn. That's when elephants

34:55

are fucking each other. He

34:57

knows that elephant's about to come. That he knows. So

35:02

he said all the kids had to bathe together

35:04

at the same time. What?

35:06

Why? Which is to

35:08

save water to, I don't know. At the same

35:11

time? At the same time. Two boys, two girls.

35:14

That's creepy stuff. Then

35:16

afterwards, the kids would

35:19

get out and mom would do the laundry in

35:21

the bathwater. That's

35:23

not. That's four dirty kids are in.

35:25

That's dirty clothes. That's just a big

35:27

soup is what that is. It's a

35:29

gross, disgusting, that's a bisque. That's by

35:32

that point. Certainly.

35:34

More of a bisque really. Yeah, some

35:36

viscosity to it for sure. Yeah, some

35:38

chunks here and there. This

35:41

is the time that Paul, he

35:43

started making weird noises and twitching.

35:45

He would make weird little under

35:48

his breath noises all the time. And

35:50

he would have a lot of twitches,

35:52

not even throat clears. Like weird stuff

35:55

he would do. Like, yeah,

35:58

almost Tourette's a bit. That

36:01

sort of fan, Twitches too in the same way. He

36:04

was hyperactive as fuck. He was depressed. He

36:06

had all sorts of stuff going on. That's

36:09

when he went to a psychiatrist at that point. He

36:12

says he got obsessed with stealing for

36:15

a while. Really into

36:17

stealing. He said he didn't even need this stuff just

36:19

for the excitement of it. He goes, he just loved

36:21

it. Literally said it wasn't even stuff he would want.

36:23

He just wanted to steal something because it was exciting.

36:25

Why don't you steal some water so we can take

36:27

our own back? Go

36:30

steal us a bunch of buckets of water. How

36:32

about that? He

36:34

says he did it for years. In his book, which is

36:36

written I think in 2011, he

36:38

says he just stolen some clothes a few months

36:40

earlier just for the rush of it. In

36:44

2011, oh, he

36:47

then said though in the book, and I think

36:49

he just said this to be out of any

36:51

sort of legal whatever, but he said, I took them back

36:53

a while later. Why would you take them back? I took

36:55

them back in what? Put them back on a hanger? What

36:57

the fuck is wrong with you? I

36:59

stole them for the rush. I wore them

37:01

for two weeks. I put them back on

37:03

hangers for the rush. For the rush. Then

37:05

I got in there. It was exciting. He

37:08

went to Breckenbeds Junior High School and

37:10

then Heathfield Senior High

37:12

School, and that was in Gates

37:14

Head. He was

37:16

noticed by football scouts very

37:19

early. He says 12 years old. He was doing his

37:21

first deal here. He

37:24

said that he went to Ipswich was

37:26

the first team that took him in to take

37:28

a look at him. He said when he went

37:30

there though, that's when he said the coach was

37:32

a jordie so he could understand him, and that

37:35

was great, but he didn't do very well and

37:37

just didn't really fit in. He was

37:39

young and the kids were older and it just didn't

37:41

work out. He

37:43

went to other trials

37:46

at Middlesbrough and Southampton,

37:48

which didn't work out either here.

37:51

It was funny though, in 1980 when

37:54

he was 13, his team that he

37:56

liked, his favorite team, Newcastle United, signed

37:59

to eight. schoolboy contract. Hell

38:01

yeah. As we

38:03

know. Fascinating. Wow. Right.

38:06

That you can just rent a child. That is

38:08

so fascinating. Take a child and take them on

38:10

the road. Sports

38:13

and showbiz are the only things you can do that with.

38:15

There's nothing else. If it's like shit where the kid can

38:17

make a lot of money someday, they're like, look, I know

38:19

this isn't normal and bad for them, but we're going to

38:21

do it anyway. Rich is rich. With

38:23

the promise of millions in the future. Yeah. Rich

38:26

is rich. We're doing this. Like, yeah. Shit

38:29

like that. The only people you can do that

38:31

with is strange. Epstein did it with a pilot

38:34

and we know how that turned out. Yeah.

38:37

No shit. That turned out

38:40

gross. Very very gross. Horrific.

38:43

So they signed him up. He got in trouble all

38:45

the time. I guess his

38:48

buddy, he had a friend that he

38:50

hung out with all the time named Jimmy

38:52

Five Bellies Gardener. Sounds

38:54

like a good dude. Five Bellies. Yeah.

38:57

The real thin guy. Thin guy. Thin

39:00

guy. Together runs a lot

39:02

of marathon. Hey, Five Bellies. So

39:04

they got in some kind of trouble where they had

39:07

a car and they hit somebody with it at some

39:09

point. Yeah. Newcastle

39:11

chairman described Paul as, quote,

39:14

George Best without brains. George

39:17

Best is another player. Oh, okay. I

39:19

thought it was the lost beetle for a second,

39:21

but it's not. Yeah, there you go. George

39:25

Best without brains, he called him, which is

39:27

pretty fucking funny. He was good

39:29

on the football field though. That's all that

39:31

really mattered to anybody. He's

39:33

one of these kids that it was

39:35

just like, well, anything, huge broom out.

39:38

Huge broom giant rug just

39:40

sweeping. No

39:42

problems whatsoever. He

39:46

has gotten crowded in his house also. There's

39:48

a lot of bad shit going on. The

39:52

younger brother of one of his friends, when he's

39:54

10 years old, he witnesses this kid getting killed.

39:58

That's not a younger brother of one of his. friends

40:00

when he's very

40:02

young apparently. His name

40:04

was Steve Spraggan and

40:07

I guess this was in a traffic accident

40:10

like it got hit by a car which

40:12

is horrible. That's when his father started getting

40:14

seizures. He started getting weird obsessions

40:17

and twitches and all that kind

40:19

of shit here. Now

40:21

Paul at that point also

40:23

developed an addiction to

40:26

gaming machines. Oh

40:28

yeah. Remember in

40:31

betweeners when Neil was really obsessed

40:33

with the fruity. They are fun. Well they are

40:35

fun yeah that's the problem. But when it takes

40:37

money to operate then they're not as fun anymore.

40:39

Yeah. They're fun and like Grand Theft Auto when

40:41

you go into the casino and play a bunch

40:43

of blackjack and you have 20 million in your

40:46

thing. That's fun. Yeah. In real life that's money.

40:48

You're like holy shit. That's frightening. Yeah. Yeah. That's

40:50

terrifying. That's a lot of fucking money. You can't

40:52

deal with that shit. So he

40:55

would spend all his money on

40:58

them. Yeah. That's why he would shoplift to

41:00

be able to get money to do that

41:02

also. He would steal things that he could

41:05

sell. He would steal to feed his addiction

41:07

to video gambling. Oh my god. So yeah

41:09

that's where he's at. This is you know

41:11

he's 13 years old at this point. That's

41:14

a very adult addiction. I would say yeah.

41:16

If you put like painkillers in there he's

41:18

a regular old fucking 50 year old at

41:21

this point. Yeah.

41:23

So a friend of

41:25

his also died. Another

41:27

friend of his died when he was very younger.

41:30

Very younger. Very much younger like this

41:32

and this is while

41:34

he was working for Paul's uncle on

41:36

a building site. This guy died. So

41:38

wow. Yeah. Not good.

41:41

One guy here, Brian Tinian,

41:44

he said he met Paul for the first

41:46

time at age 14 when this guy signed

41:48

with the Dunston Juniors and

41:50

which was another team that Paul played for.

41:53

This guy explained that Paul

41:55

would be really good but at 15 he

41:57

wasn't even the best player on the team.

42:00

team at that point. There were other players that were

42:02

better. Nobody expected him to be the big hotshot,

42:06

whatever the fuck. But he saw football as his way

42:08

of doing it. I'm going to make

42:10

millions. He said he wanted to support his

42:12

family. He said at this point, he thought,

42:14

I'm more capable of earning more money than

42:16

all these people combined. So I'm

42:18

going to take care of my brother and my sisters

42:21

and all that kind of shit. He said he loved

42:23

it too. It was the only place where he felt

42:25

good. He said, quote, I didn't have twitches or worry

42:27

about death when I was playing football. No

42:31

time to. It's all reactions. Your brain

42:33

can't. Right now. Your mind is

42:35

clear when you're doing shit like that. It's all about the

42:38

path in front of you. I'm probably not going

42:41

to die in the next hour and a half, so

42:43

this game is all I've got for the next whatever.

42:45

Well, you're not even thinking about it. You're thinking about

42:47

juking this guy and am I going to pass, going

42:49

to go up here? There's no time. There's so much

42:51

going on out there. There's no time to think about

42:53

anything else. If you're thinking about me, what about the,

42:55

you know, what's the meaning of life? Some guy's going

42:57

to blow by you and score. You can't do that.

42:59

You got to be on top of shit. That

43:01

is awesome that at eight he's already having that.

43:03

What is the meaning of this? What is the

43:06

meaning of this all? How is it I've come

43:08

to arrive here is what he says. Before

43:10

he's even done it. Essentially, yeah. How is it

43:13

I've come to arrive here? So he

43:16

was signed as an apprentice at Newcastle

43:18

on his 16th birthday. Okay.

43:21

Which makes me think and feel, it

43:23

looks like he like build soccer balls.

43:25

That's what I feel like an apprentice

43:27

does. Like I see him like screwing

43:29

cleats in the shoes. He's an apprentice.

43:32

He was usually overweight, they said,

43:35

while on the youth side because he had

43:37

to be, I guess, a certain weight. I don't

43:39

know. This guy signed with the Dunston Juniors, which

43:43

was another team that Paul played for. And

43:45

this guy explained that Paul

43:47

would be really good, but at 15, he

43:50

wasn't even the best player on the team at that

43:52

point. There's other players that were better. Nobody expected him

43:54

to be the big hot

43:57

shot, you know, whatever the fuck, but he

43:59

saw footballs. his way of doing it. I'm

44:01

going to make millions. He said he wanted

44:03

to support his family. He said at this

44:05

point, he thought, I'm more capable of earning

44:07

more money than all these people combined. So

44:10

I'm going to take care of my brother and my sisters and all

44:12

that kind of shit. He said he

44:14

loved it too. It was the only place where

44:16

he felt good. He said, quote, I didn't have

44:18

twitches or worry about death when I was playing

44:20

football. No

44:23

time to. It's all reactions. Your

44:25

brain can't. Right now. Yeah. Your mind is clear when

44:27

you're doing shit like that. You know, it's all about

44:29

the past and the front of you. I'm probably not

44:31

going to die in the next hour and a half.

44:34

So this game is all I've got for the next

44:36

whatever. Well, you're not even thinking about it. You're thinking

44:38

about juking this guy and am I going to pass?

44:40

Going to go up here. There's no time. There's so

44:42

much going on out there. There's no time to think

44:45

about anything else. If you're thinking about, gee, what

44:47

about the, you know, what's the meaning of life? Some guy's

44:49

going to blow by you and score. You can't do that.

44:51

You got to be on top of shit. That is

44:53

awesome that at eight, he's already having that. What

44:55

is the meaning of this? What is the meaning

44:58

of this all? How is it I've come to

45:00

arrive here is what he says before

45:02

he's even done it essentially. Yeah. How is

45:04

it? I've come to arrive here. So

45:07

he was signed as an apprentice

45:09

at new castle on his 16th

45:11

birthday. Okay. Which makes me

45:13

think and feel I look like he

45:15

like build soccer balls. That's what I

45:18

feel like an apprentice does. Like I

45:20

see him like screwing cleats in the

45:22

shoes. He's an apprentice. He

45:24

was usually overweight, they said, while on

45:27

the youth side, because he had to be, I guess,

45:29

a certain weight. I don't know. I'm

45:32

not sure. The manager of new

45:34

castle, Jack Charlton, described Paul as

45:36

quote, a bit chubby. So he's

45:41

a bit chubby and didn't look like a footballer. Didn't

45:43

have those. Didn't have the body. They said

45:45

he just, all he ate was Mars bars

45:47

and all sorts of junk food. So he's

45:49

got a body and shit probably stole it.

45:52

But they said that it didn't matter really, because he

45:55

could play pretty well. And maybe the extra weight would

45:57

give him some strength. So they were like, eat up

45:59

fat boy. And as a

46:01

kid, you know it. You

46:04

go out, you go up. You go out, you go up. I

46:07

was a fat little fuck. That's what you're

46:09

supposed to do. Some of us don't go up, we just go out. I

46:12

was a pudgy little bastard, I remember that. And

46:14

they said it didn't slow him down in the field, so fuck

46:16

it. That was it. He

46:19

said that the coach did warn him about

46:21

his junk food diet, and at one point

46:23

gave him two weeks to lose the weight.

46:25

And Paul did, he trained really hard and

46:27

wrapped himself in plastic bags to lose weight.

46:30

Oh, he sweated out. Yeah,

46:32

terrible and dangerous, by the way. He is. You

46:35

shouldn't do that. You will lose weight. Yeah, you will. That's

46:37

the thing though, you will lose weight. You might die, but

46:39

you will lose weight. So

46:42

he was the captain of the youth

46:44

team, apparently, and

46:46

they led them to the FA Youth Cup in

46:49

the 84-85 season. He

46:51

scored twice in a 4-1 victory over Watford,

46:53

which we've heard of them a lot on

46:56

this show. Yeah, that's terrific. A bunch of

46:58

guys that played there. So,

47:00

yeah, that's what happened there. He

47:02

also said that during all this,

47:04

he ended up, that's before he

47:07

became an apprentice, I guess. That's

47:09

the youth. And

47:11

then from 84-88, they said he

47:13

made his first team debut with Newcastle

47:16

as a substitute for George Riley in a

47:18

1-0 win over Queens Park Rangers. And

47:22

the coach said that Paul's first team

47:24

appearances under him were too brief to

47:27

suggest if he was good or not. They were like,

47:29

he comes up a little bit. It's like a guy

47:31

coming up from the minors in baseball in September. Yeah,

47:34

he gets 40 at bats. Who the hell knows if

47:36

that's not a sample size? We don't

47:38

know if those two goals are going to transfer. No

47:40

idea. He did fine. He

47:43

did all right. So, at 18,

47:45

he signed a two-year, 120-pound-per-week contract

47:47

with Newcastle. That's

47:51

up. It's at 480 a month. Yeah,

47:54

that's it. Yep. And

47:57

the club has a further two-year option clause on

47:59

them, too, after that. that. So

48:01

yeah, they noticed though,

48:04

the coach noticed that he had a,

48:06

what he described as a generous personality,

48:09

which he'd get paid if they

48:11

were going out, he drinks on me, money

48:14

gone. He just would lose it all and have

48:16

it gone. So he, they

48:19

arranged for about half of his money to

48:21

be paid into a bank account that

48:24

would be basically like a little escrow for him,

48:26

but at the end of his first contract, he'll

48:29

be paid that in a lump sum. Yeah,

48:31

several comedians that are degenerate gamblers.

48:33

Yes, that we know of and

48:35

then they immediately lose all of

48:37

that. Yeah. They go gamble that because

48:40

they're like, oh, I can gamble some of this, there's a lot

48:42

of money and then, you know, obviously they

48:44

can't stop because it's all gone. They get to the next

48:46

town. And then they Facebook message

48:48

their old comedian friends and ask for fucking

48:50

money. I got a story for you. Oh

48:52

boy. We know people like that. An off-the-air

48:54

story. You gotcha. Okay. You

48:57

know, I have one too, so we'll,

49:00

after the show, we're going to discuss that. And

49:02

it's not like we're trying to hide anything from you.

49:04

If we discuss this, you have no idea who we

49:06

were talking about and it would not be entertaining. Trust

49:08

me. You didn't know who they hit up, but I

49:10

can't wait to tell James. Oh, I

49:12

know. Thank you for reminding me because I had

49:15

one too, so I can't wait to hear yours.

49:17

It's so bad. Oh no, it's probably worse than

49:19

mine, I think. I think so. You

49:21

got me here. So 1985-86, Willie McFall, McFall, he took over as the manager and named

49:24

Paul in the starting

49:36

lineup from the opening game

49:38

of the campaign. I guess that's the season.

49:41

He took the place of Chris Waddle,

49:44

who wasn't walking too well, so

49:47

they had to take him out.

49:49

Well, five bellies. Yeah, well, five bellies.

49:51

They sold him to Tottenham, the hot

49:53

spur there, that summer.

49:56

And I guess Paul scored his first

49:58

goal at home. to

50:00

Oxford United and a three nothing victory.

50:03

And then he got eight more goals

50:05

that year. So he did pretty good

50:07

apparently. I think that's good. He's young,

50:10

sounds good. 86, 87, he

50:12

scored five goals in 24 games. And

50:16

he's still with Newcastle here. He

50:19

was called up to the England under 21 team

50:23

in the summer of 87 and scored

50:25

with a free kick in his debut and a

50:27

two nothing win over Morocco. Yeah,

50:30

so he went on, I don't know,

50:32

this is again, we're real precarious on

50:34

what this shit means. My

50:38

soccer knowledge goes right up

50:40

to a 10th lasso. Not very

50:42

far at all. Yeah,

50:44

soccer, I'm trying to think of what

50:46

I really know about soccer and it's,

50:49

as far as I know there's paylay and I know

50:51

you're not supposed to touch the ball with your hands,

50:53

I know that's bad. There's

50:57

Maradona, he did that and that was a problem

51:00

and people still talk about that. And

51:02

then you got the handsome guy that

51:04

has an ugly Hall of Fame bust.

51:06

Oh yeah, there's that guy and I

51:08

know that they make insane amounts of

51:10

money, like the big soccer players. What

51:12

about the guy that fucked a Spice

51:14

Girl? That guy too. That guy too,

51:16

yes. Yeah, with the English Girl movie,

51:18

that's right. Yeah, okay. Okay,

51:21

yeah. And then, you

51:23

know what, I take it back. I

51:26

take it back, we know soccer. Take

51:29

it back, we understand soccer, okay?

51:31

I've said it before, I played

51:34

indoor soccer and I played in

51:36

my 20s and I watched a lot

51:38

of soccer around then so I recognize what teams

51:40

were good and such but I don't, there

51:43

are so many fucking guys. I don't know how

51:45

they can keep up with this. So

51:47

many people. I don't know, they need a smaller field,

51:49

it's just too much. There's that

51:51

too, where they... It's just too vast. You're like, oh

51:53

my god, they're just little ants. It's just too vast,

51:55

yeah, he kicks it and it's like, we, it

51:57

takes a while to get over to him because...

52:00

like you know 40 yards. Yeah

52:02

so he kicks it then he like picks it back and

52:04

forth another guy stands 10 yards off him waiting to see

52:06

what he's gonna do and I'm like I can't I can't

52:08

do this. Soccer highlights are

52:10

the most exciting thing in the world.

52:13

If you break a soccer game down into

52:15

25 seconds that you know what is it

52:18

9-10 hours long in this game so pretty

52:20

long. You break that down into 30 seconds

52:22

holy shit it's exciting. Wow he hit the

52:24

ball with his fucking head. That's amazing. And

52:28

when you watch a run down the

52:30

pitch when they kick the ball

52:33

when it's zoomed out it starts really fast and

52:35

then it hits the ground it slows down and

52:37

it looks like it looks like I don't know

52:41

it doesn't look as impressive as then when

52:43

they zoom in you see how fucking hard

52:45

they kick that fucking game. Yeah

52:50

they kick the shit out of that ball. And

52:52

they don't even look like they tried hard. No!

52:54

They're just fucking that's it's impressive

52:56

and the the endurance you need for and everything. Yeah

52:58

the running is insane. It's a lot of running. I

53:00

think that's why as a kid I was never in

53:02

it because I was like this is a lot of

53:04

running. I was like run around for fucking four hours.

53:06

Yeah it was a fat kid exactly. I like

53:09

baseball yeah. Maybe I can just trot down

53:11

the field. And

53:14

basketball it's not too far to run. Yeah. And

53:16

basketball too is fine but then what are you gonna

53:18

do? There's a lot

53:20

of running. Too much running. He

53:23

went on to win 12 caps for

53:25

the under 21s under

53:27

Dave Sexton. I think that means

53:29

he played in 12 games did we say? And

53:32

we figured out the cap thing at one point but

53:34

that was like years ago so I don't remember. Yeah.

53:36

I haven't thought about it

53:38

since then. So the

53:41

team was semi-finalists at

53:43

the UEFA under 21

53:45

euros and finalists at

53:47

the Toulon tournament beating

53:50

out beating on both occasions

53:52

by France in 1988. Yeah they were good. Which

53:56

must have pissed them off good. Yeah. There's

53:58

one thing we know. There's

54:00

one thing we know about the England the English

54:02

they fucking hate France. That's it. They hate the

54:05

French they do so

54:08

In 87 88 season here in 88

54:11

the BBC program football

54:13

focus here There

54:16

they had new castles all-time top scorer

54:18

Jackie Milburn said that Paul was quote

54:20

the best player in the world at

54:23

that point Wow, yeah, that's

54:25

big shit here The

54:28

in a in a 0-0 draw

54:30

in one game here at plow Lane

54:32

in February 1988 Vinnie

54:35

Jones are yeah Our

54:38

old friend old Vinnie Jones area

54:40

that guy here Crime

54:42

and sports alum go back and listen to the episode

54:45

said that I

54:47

guess this is the one where Jones grabbed him

54:49

by the balls. So this is Paul. Okay grabbed

54:51

by the ball Paul is the

54:54

guy was screaming in pain as he's grabbed

54:56

by the balls from Vinnie You

55:00

need to go back and listen to that episode too,

55:02

I didn't realize that was Paul That was

55:04

I know we didn't know who the fuck the hell do

55:06

we know? We don't know we're like, yeah, I'm full of

55:08

Paul Yeah, it was more

55:10

concentrating on the injury aspect of it than

55:12

who the hell it was and the photo

55:14

yeah, and so I Paul is named to

55:16

the P as the PFA young player of

55:19

the year and Listed

55:21

on the PFA team of the year in

55:23

the 1987 88 season Jesus

55:26

Christ, this is I don't know what any of this means

55:30

So at that point I he wanted there

55:32

was instability with the Newcastle team and management

55:34

and shit like that Yeah, so Paul said

55:37

that he was gonna sign with Manchester United

55:40

Hell yeah is a game which is a you

55:42

know a team we've heard of so I guess

55:44

he Ended

55:47

up not signing for them and signed

55:49

for Tottenham the Pottsburg Yeah,

55:52

and for a British for

55:54

a record fee of 2.2 million pounds. Oh

55:58

That's a big deal. So Yes,

56:01

and the owner of Manchester will

56:03

later say that the reason why

56:06

Paul ended up signing was that

56:08

the other team just on spec

56:10

bought a house for his family.

56:13

His family was still very broke. So

56:16

they just bought a nice house and were like, we bought

56:18

your family a house and here's this money. And

56:20

Paul just was like, oh, I guess I got a sign here. Paul

56:23

said in his autobiography that after he was given 100,000

56:25

pounds signing fee, he spent

56:29

$70,000 buying a property for his

56:31

mother and father. So we don't know which is true.

56:34

We don't know which is true. Either way, it

56:36

doesn't matter. It's fine. Either way,

56:38

you got them a house. You got them a house.

56:40

That's not bad. He was first called up

56:42

to the full England squad. I guess

56:45

that's your real national team, but

56:47

for a game against Denmark in 1988

56:49

and came on

56:52

as a late substitute. 88

56:55

to 92 is when he's with Tottenham there

56:57

and he is goddamn good. I

57:00

mean, he's worth the money it seems

57:02

like. Looks like he had six

57:04

goals and 32 appearances. I think

57:06

that's good. Right? Seven goals.

57:09

Yeah, because one's there, one's there. Okay, so seven total

57:11

goals and 37 appearances. That

57:13

seems pretty good. Sure does. I guess.

57:16

More than I could score. So let me give him credit.

57:18

Is there one in every six games about? Less than? I

57:21

guess, but this is so low scoring. I mean, how

57:23

many more goals do people want from anybody here? So

57:27

1989, 90,

57:29

they were in third place, which

57:31

was, I guess, coming up for

57:33

them. So apparently that's good. Also

57:37

he keeps playing on the national team.

57:39

They play Albania and Czechoslovakia and beat

57:41

them both in 1990 and 1989. So

57:46

anyway, he's on the, he kept

57:48

his first team place is what

57:50

they said. For most matches in

57:52

the run to the 1990

57:54

FIFA World Cup. All right. This,

57:56

we know something about here. He

57:59

also. played four games for the England

58:01

B team and got his place

58:04

on the World Cup squad in a four

58:06

to two win against Czechoslovakia when he scored

58:08

a goal and I guess he was involved

58:10

in the other three as well. So he

58:12

goes on to play in the World Cup in Italy. He never

58:15

played in a real... this is the real fucking

58:18

deal. The whole world is watching this shit. This

58:20

is huge. This is big. He played

58:22

in all three of the group games

58:25

and England won, I guess,

58:27

they won in group F and

58:29

he provided the assist for a

58:32

guy's game-winning goal against Egypt. Great.

58:35

Yeah. The first knockout game against

58:37

Belgium, he had another assist and

58:40

then I guess after

58:42

that in the game against Cameroon

58:44

here, I guess

58:46

they beat them too. I don't

58:48

understand any of this. Listen to

58:51

this. Okay. Yeah, it's very impressive

58:53

to me because there's so many

58:55

few goals, so few goals scored.

58:57

If you're a part of one,

58:59

that's pretty fucking impressive. If you're involved in

59:01

a lot, it must be because you're good

59:03

because no one else is involved in a

59:05

lot. Yeah, and if you're

59:07

getting the assist, it's because you were cut

59:09

off because you're that good. They know that you

59:12

can score. They understand. So here I'm gonna

59:14

read this. In extra time,

59:16

he made a successful through-ball

59:19

pass from which

59:21

Gary Linnaker won and subsequently

59:23

scored a penalty which proved to

59:25

be the winning goal. Okay.

59:28

Referring to the 1990 World Cup,

59:30

Brian Robson later commented that Paul was,

59:32

quote, the best player he ever played

59:34

with and in 1990 he

59:37

said he was challenging Maradona as the best

59:39

player in the world at that time. Incredible.

59:42

So that's how good he is. Yeah, that's what I

59:44

mean. This guy is like, we

59:46

don't understand over here because we're like, who the fuck

59:48

is that? But over there, this guy is massive all

59:50

over the world. And the through-ball means he kicked the

59:52

assist to the guy and he fouled, I guess, on

59:55

the penalty on the pass.

59:57

So he had a penalty kick. Is there

59:59

an add-on? and knocker. No. And

1:00:02

one fish! The

1:00:06

through ball, being penalized on a

1:00:08

through ball, I guess means it was such

1:00:10

a great assist opportunity that the guy chasing

1:00:12

him had no chance but to get the

1:00:14

yellow card. And I guess that's what he

1:00:17

did. Okay, just like pass interference. Yeah, yeah,

1:00:19

yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:00:21

Okay, yeah. Have to interfere and

1:00:23

make him have a penalty kick. I love how

1:00:25

you qualified that though with like an, I

1:00:28

think, I understand. I don't want to say

1:00:30

for sure. I assume based

1:00:33

on my experience. Based on

1:00:35

my understanding. Yeah. Which

1:00:38

could be complete shit. By the way,

1:00:40

we don't know what we're talking about.

1:00:42

Ignorance charming. That's why I

1:00:44

like how you threw that in there

1:00:47

real casual like, listen, none of

1:00:49

this might mean nothing what we're

1:00:51

talking about right now. Okay. But

1:00:53

yeah, we could have just led you down a worthless whole

1:00:55

of nonsense. Yeah, exactly. Which

1:00:58

maybe we did. We did a lot. A

1:01:00

web of manipulation and terrifying abuse.

1:01:03

If you'd have said to do anything, I would

1:01:05

have done it. With a powerful religious figure at its

1:01:07

centre. There was no safe place. You don't

1:01:09

say no to him. World

1:01:12

of Secrets from the BBC World

1:01:14

Service is back to the brand

1:01:16

new season. Investigating allegations surrounding the

1:01:18

preacher, T.B. Joshua. The culture of

1:01:21

secrecy needs to be broken. Search

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for World of Secrets wherever you

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get your BBC podcast. Being

1:01:30

an actual royal is never about finding your happy

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ending. But the worst part is, if they step

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out of line or fall in love with the

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wrong person, it changes the course

1:01:39

of history. I'm

1:01:42

Arisha Stidmore-Williams. And I'm Brooke Siffrin. We've been

1:01:44

telling the stories of the rich and famous

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on the hit Wundery show, Even the Rich.

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And talking about the latest celebrity news on Rich

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and Daily. We're going all over the world on

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our new show, Even the Royals. We'll

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be diving head first into the lives of the world's kings,

1:01:59

queens, and the world's and all the wannabes

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in their orbit throughout history. Think succession

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meets the crown meets real life. We're

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going to pull back the gilded curtain

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and show how royal status might be

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bright and shiny, but it comes at

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your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes

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even your head. Follow Even

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the Royals on the Wondery app or wherever you

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get your podcasts. You can listen to Even the

1:02:23

Royals early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery

1:02:25

Plus. I

1:02:29

love a good parasocial relationship with

1:02:31

a celebrity who will probably never

1:02:33

know my name. I mean, honestly,

1:02:35

who knows? Don't count yourself out. But

1:02:38

my favorite part about these

1:02:40

views is how they're ignited by the

1:02:42

tiniest thing. Jada, I love

1:02:44

you. G.I. Jane too. Can't wait to see

1:02:47

it. I accidentally laminated

1:02:49

my brows too much. It starts small and

1:02:51

then it gets so big. Be

1:02:54

honest Naomi, I'm fearful of you to this

1:02:56

day. I don't know her. We all just

1:02:58

have to admit, we're addicted. Everybody

1:03:00

has opinions. Everyone picks sides.

1:03:03

Leave Britney Spears alone right

1:03:05

now. Where

1:03:16

we unpack why we get so invested in

1:03:18

these feuds and whether or not

1:03:20

our attention only makes the whole thing

1:03:22

worse. Follow Dith and Tal wherever

1:03:24

you get your podcasts. So

1:03:29

his T England teammate Peter

1:03:31

Beardsley describing him said, quote,

1:03:33

his enthusiasm was so infectious

1:03:35

and the whole squad took

1:03:37

so much from him during

1:03:39

Italia 90. Gas coin

1:03:41

was a true footballer of the streets, defiant,

1:03:44

crafty, and intrepid. That

1:03:46

is what he says. He

1:03:48

could cook up ideas you didn't expect. So

1:03:51

he was like a street baller, like a guy

1:03:53

who's a good street baller in basketball. I figured he'd picture the same

1:03:56

thing. Oh yeah, he'd get to my Lou. Yeah, that's what I mean.

1:03:58

He did like a... He

1:04:00

dribbled through the guy's legs, his opponent's legs,

1:04:02

and then got it on the other side.

1:04:04

Yeah, did some of that shit. One like

1:04:06

office forehead, left him standing there like an

1:04:09

idiot, and they went around him and shit.

1:04:11

Some Harlem Globetrotters' soccer. Watch

1:04:13

out. And one shit, bitch.

1:04:16

So also at this time, the

1:04:18

tales of his drinking started to become

1:04:21

legendary here. Really? And

1:04:24

not only that, but Jesus Christ, his

1:04:26

drinking, he's always nude. He's nude a

1:04:28

lot. What? In

1:04:30

England, male nudity is considered hilarious. That's

1:04:33

part of their whole comedic history. It

1:04:36

really is. Male nudity and dudes in a dress

1:04:38

is immediately funny. If a guy's in a dress

1:04:40

and he lifts it up and his balls are

1:04:42

hanging out, funniest fucking thing an English person's ever

1:04:44

seen back in the day. I don't know about

1:04:46

now, but back in the day, that was

1:04:49

hot shit. It's

1:04:51

pretty fucking funny. Oh, it's always funny,

1:04:53

yeah. An ugly man in

1:04:55

a dress is ridiculous. John Cleese in

1:04:57

1975 in a dress is fucking funny.

1:04:59

It just is, because look at him. He's a hideous

1:05:02

fall man. No one else gets in an address. Funny.

1:05:04

Ridiculous. Hideous man. Yes.

1:05:07

Terrible. That's fun. You

1:05:09

show me a bit that Johnny Knoxville and his friends did where a dick

1:05:12

comes out, and I'm always grossed out. Yes. In

1:05:16

the English, it was just like real

1:05:18

like, look at me bollocks as you

1:05:20

skip by. It was a different thing.

1:05:22

It would seem more light and airy.

1:05:25

Every time I see a Johnny Knoxville bit with

1:05:27

a dick, I'm like, oh, come on. No. I'd

1:05:30

say it's heavy in America. In England, it's

1:05:32

light. It's like a meringue. It's been whipped

1:05:34

into a frothy lightness.

1:05:36

Rowan Atkins shows a nest of pubes with

1:05:38

a little robin's egg of a dickhead on

1:05:41

top of it, and I'm like, that's hilarious.

1:05:43

You're like, that's hilarious. Then he

1:05:45

puts a dress on, and it's even funnier. So

1:05:48

they said everything with that. This

1:05:50

is a part of his book

1:05:52

he talks about in Italy in

1:05:54

1990 when he was the youngest player

1:05:56

in the squad at 23. He's

1:05:59

the youngest guy. on the English national

1:06:01

squad here. There was a ban

1:06:03

on England players, this has been

1:06:06

posed by their own coach, I assume,

1:06:08

drinking alcohol at their training camp before

1:06:10

the tournament. But

1:06:12

a bunch of English soccer players are going

1:06:14

to drink. So Paul was

1:06:16

the guy to find his way around this,

1:06:19

and he did. He'll find the booze. Yep.

1:06:22

He describes in his book, ordering

1:06:24

a cappuccino, he'd

1:06:26

get a cappuccino and then separately get

1:06:28

a large mug of Bali's, okay,

1:06:31

like in a big mug, like a big coffee

1:06:33

mug. Then he would scrape

1:06:35

the foam off the cappuccino

1:06:37

onto the top of the Bali's so it

1:06:39

looked like he was drinking a cappuccino. Just

1:06:43

straight Bali. He would steal the fucking

1:06:45

foam. Well, Bali's got a heart

1:06:47

on it, man. Yeah, so there we go, and he'd

1:06:49

just fucking drink it. That's amazing.

1:06:52

That's an alcoholic. Yeah. That's

1:06:55

an alcoholic. They put Abraham Lincoln

1:06:57

in the cappuccino. That's it. And

1:07:00

then this is a line from his book. As soon

1:07:02

as he did that, he said, quote, I took a

1:07:05

few sips and began to feel better almost immediately. That's

1:07:08

not good. It's for booze, man. That's

1:07:10

alcoholism. Yeah. But for him, it was like,

1:07:12

oh, there it is. Now I feel bad. He was

1:07:14

using it like medicine, which isn't good. Sure. That's

1:07:18

not great. So when he came back

1:07:20

from Italy, for some reason, he

1:07:22

did this, and it was a big deal. Here's this.

1:07:25

I'll show you this picture. It's a big roll. See, he's

1:07:27

got his own Gaza hat on there, and

1:07:29

a big pair of fake pits. Oh, boy.

1:07:32

He's got like a- He wears a fat belly, too. With

1:07:34

a fat, yeah, like a plastic, like

1:07:37

a plate that you put on yourself. Yep. That

1:07:40

would typically go under clothes. Yeah. The

1:07:42

clothes would accentuate it and make you look like

1:07:45

a gal or a fat dude. Basically, you look

1:07:47

like a pregnant lady, is I think what it

1:07:49

is. I look like a pregnant belly. Oh, okay.

1:07:51

Yeah. And it says Gaza over the belly button. Over

1:07:53

the- Yeah. He got off

1:07:55

the plane. Gaza. Yeah. He

1:07:58

got off the plane. Got off the plane like that? There's no fudge

1:08:00

life tattoo. It doesn't even make sense. No,

1:08:02

not yet. It's not even... Tupac's wearing a

1:08:04

fucking Back to Africa dashiki in one of

1:08:06

those fucking hats and a goddamn... Well,

1:08:09

he's wearing whatever his cellmate tells him to

1:08:11

wear at this point. No, no, no. This

1:08:14

is when he was in fucking... Oh, was he still in

1:08:16

New York? Digital underground or whatever.

1:08:18

Okay, yeah. Yeah, this is when he's doing fucking

1:08:20

the Humpty dance and shit. Right.

1:08:23

And... What's

1:08:26

the movie that they were in with... Oh, nothing

1:08:28

but trouble. There it is. Yeah,

1:08:31

he was doing dances in front of Dan Acker right in a prosthetic

1:08:33

dick nose. Perfect.

1:08:37

So, here's an incident that happened July

1:08:39

4th, 1990, which means nothing

1:08:41

over there. Nothing at

1:08:43

all. England played West Germany in

1:08:45

a World Cup semi-final match here.

1:08:48

Now, Paul, having already received a

1:08:50

yellow card during England's 1-0 victory

1:08:52

over Belgium in the second round...

1:08:54

Uh-oh. ...I guess got

1:08:56

called on a foul on

1:08:58

Thomas Berthold, which meant

1:09:00

that he would be suspended for the final if

1:09:02

England won the match. I guess he got two,

1:09:04

and I guess there's a limit you could get

1:09:06

in the tournament. It carries over from game to

1:09:09

game. Imagine if that

1:09:11

happened in fouls. Hey, you got four fouls in the first

1:09:13

quarter. You'd be like, dude, what the fuck? So...

1:09:15

You're here to start the next game with four. Yeah.

1:09:19

So television cameras caught him

1:09:22

crying after he got the yellow card. And,

1:09:26

yeah, so the

1:09:28

Germans ended up winning it in the end

1:09:30

anyway, so it didn't matter. But here

1:09:33

is a thing they made

1:09:35

here. Famous... Oh, this

1:09:37

is a puppet of his. Uh-oh.

1:09:40

Oh, boy. This is a puppet, I

1:09:42

guess. That's a him? Spitting

1:09:45

image, I guess, was a show, and they made a thing

1:09:47

of him, and I guess it was... He's the one who's

1:09:49

over the... Yeah, that's him, and

1:09:51

it has projectile tears that come out of it.

1:09:54

Okay. That's the

1:09:56

National Football Museum that's displayed

1:09:59

at... Which it looks... Shoots

1:10:01

tears? Shoots tears out of its

1:10:03

eyes. That was an iconic moment

1:10:05

obviously. Yeah, huge. Everybody

1:10:08

was watching. It was fucking World Cup shit. As

1:10:10

much as getting your dick grabbed by... Yeah.

1:10:14

Yeah, so here is a

1:10:16

newspaper article here. Thanks

1:10:19

to that unique combination of Tantrum's

1:10:21

Talent and Tears. That's a good

1:10:23

title. Tantrum's Talent and Tears? Yeah.

1:10:25

Wow. Tantrum's Talent and Tears. That's

1:10:28

the one right there. I gotta write that down. Tantrum's

1:10:30

Talent and Tears. Yeah, that's it

1:10:32

there. So that

1:10:35

it says, not to mention the dignified

1:10:37

use of a huge pair of plastic

1:10:39

breasts. Mr. Paul Gascoigne

1:10:42

should, by rights, be crowned the

1:10:44

BBC TV sports personality of the

1:10:46

year. That was

1:10:48

from the newspaper. So they were calling for

1:10:50

it. Here's the Daily Telegraph, July 6th, 1990.

1:10:54

Giant headline, Gascoigne has come of age.

1:10:58

It's ready. While he cries? While he cries. Yeah, they

1:11:01

showed a picture of him there as well. There's a

1:11:03

newspaper picture of him crying. The

1:11:05

most vivid image of a Turin

1:11:07

evening will always be the pictures

1:11:09

of young England footballers sobbing publicly

1:11:12

as his team were denied their chance of history. Paul

1:11:15

Gascoigne was distraught on Wednesday night.

1:11:17

He was inconsolable by all around

1:11:20

him. His dream had been rudely

1:11:22

shattered. It was the most

1:11:24

cruel lesson in an education process that

1:11:27

is promising to develop Gascoigne into one

1:11:29

of the world's greatest players. Just

1:11:31

to give you an overview of where they were

1:11:33

with him at this point. Gascoigne had dominated a

1:11:35

World Cup at the tender age of 23 and

1:11:38

had established himself as the leading young

1:11:40

player in Italy. But whatever happened in

1:11:42

the penalty shootout, fate had already decided

1:11:45

Gascoigne was not going to play in

1:11:47

the World Cup Final. When

1:11:49

in the 100th minute of

1:11:51

a fascinating evening, the Brazilian

1:11:53

referee José Ramez Wright

1:11:56

produced the yellow card. Gascoigne's World

1:11:58

Cup only had 20 minutes to run.

1:12:01

Uh-oh. It was near the end of the game. A

1:12:04

year ago, when Gascoigne's immaturity was a

1:12:06

frustration to both the England manager and

1:12:08

the country in general, the realization that

1:12:10

he was suspended would have been too

1:12:12

much for the player. Television

1:12:14

pictures caught the anguish and pain that

1:12:16

Gascoigne was suffering. Momentarily, he

1:12:18

seemed to come apart at the seams.

1:12:21

A sign the new Gascoigne was

1:12:23

that after a moment of self-pity,

1:12:26

he rallied himself to the team. He

1:12:30

has never been subjected to that experience

1:12:32

before or anything of that importance, and

1:12:34

he did well to recover and keep

1:12:36

his composure, is what his coach said.

1:12:39

That's nice, but I guess it was

1:12:42

a big deal, though, how the

1:12:44

crying and everything like that. They said,

1:12:47

this is England's manager. Gascoigne had six

1:12:49

consecutive good games for England, and he

1:12:51

was probably the best young player at

1:12:53

this tournament. I think he has a

1:12:55

terrific future. All he has to do

1:12:57

is split the jovial from the serious

1:12:59

and then be the boy that has

1:13:01

it all. Be the boy.

1:13:04

Be the boy. Be the boy. Feel

1:13:06

the boy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

1:13:08

no, no. Be the boy. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

1:13:11

Be the boy. Be the boy. Be

1:13:14

the boy. Yeah. He

1:13:16

said all he has to do is that. They

1:13:18

said that he's

1:13:20

upset, but he's getting over it, and he's

1:13:22

showing good maturity. That's basically

1:13:24

what they're saying. One coach said, I've worked

1:13:27

with a lot of top class players,

1:13:29

but Gascoigne could live with any of them.

1:13:31

He could be on the threshold of something

1:13:33

quite unique in the English game. All

1:13:36

right. They called it, during the 1990

1:13:39

World Cup, Gazamania. Yeah,

1:13:42

because he's gotten paid now, and

1:13:44

they're rooting on him. He's a

1:13:46

hometown. All

1:13:49

of that shit, too. All of the actual,

1:13:52

whatever, the FIFA, not the FIFA,

1:13:54

but the leagues that they play,

1:13:56

and all the league play, then

1:13:58

seems to pale in comparison. and

1:14:00

importance to this World Cup shit. This is like...

1:14:03

Yeah, the World Cup is a big deal, man.

1:14:05

This is the whole world, and it's for countries

1:14:07

bragging rights, and it's really a big deal here.

1:14:10

So, during this whole thing in 1990,

1:14:12

the World Cup's going on. Gaza Mania

1:14:14

is going on. He makes a song,

1:14:16

Jimmy, and everyone

1:14:19

else out there. He reached

1:14:21

a song. He made a

1:14:23

song that reached number two in the

1:14:25

UK Top 40. Number

1:14:29

two. You gotta stop this. He

1:14:32

earned a gold record for this. You

1:14:34

guys shouldn't have allowed that.

1:14:37

What is the song? It is called Fog

1:14:39

on the Time. Would you like to hear

1:14:41

it? Fog on

1:14:43

the Time. Fog on

1:14:46

the Time. Like Smoke on

1:14:48

the Water? Fog

1:14:50

on the Time. Soccer

1:14:54

ball in the net. What

1:14:58

the fuck? I say

1:15:00

we should listen to Fog on the Time,

1:15:02

everyone. Let's hear what we got. There

1:15:06

he goes. Okay.

1:15:10

How? Come

1:15:13

on. Come

1:15:16

on. He's

1:15:20

dancing, singing along, like wearing soccer.

1:15:24

Number two. Number

1:15:31

two. England,

1:15:34

get your shit together. It's

1:15:36

number two, all right. Jesus, you guys.

1:15:42

Tell it like it is. Tell

1:15:45

it like it is. You're a piece of shit. You're

1:15:49

bad at this. Oh,

1:15:51

there he's got the pump head. Oh, my

1:15:53

God. One fifth off, he's doing like

1:15:55

a fifth pump to the air. He's really giving it

1:15:57

his all, man. I'm

1:16:03

not even

1:16:08

halfway done with it yet. Hold

1:16:21

on. Fog on the

1:16:23

time is hot. This

1:16:26

is shit on the lawn is what this is. This is

1:16:28

not good. I'm gonna play that

1:16:31

going down the road with my window. Old

1:16:33

town Scottsdale somewhere. Put

1:16:37

your kids in the car and then just put it

1:16:39

on without saying anything. Roll down the windows. The hell

1:16:41

are we listening to? Yeah, and lock them. Don't

1:16:43

you worry. Roll them down and

1:16:45

lock them and then drive your son to school. Pick

1:16:48

him up with that song. Really

1:16:51

be bopping your head. Go, come on, son. Hop in.

1:16:53

Get in. It's your favorite song. You

1:16:56

told me to have this playing when I picked

1:16:58

you up and it's playing, so what's the fucking

1:17:00

problem? Why are you being a dick?

1:17:02

This is your playlist. All right. Back

1:17:04

to fog on the time. Oh my God. Oh

1:17:06

my. Oh my God. Oh my

1:17:08

God. Oh my. Oh my

1:17:10

God. I wanna hear Brattonmore. What year is

1:17:12

this? Oh my God.

1:17:15

Number two. Help me. Yeah.

1:17:18

Oh, I'll see you when I'm on the guy

1:17:20

playing guitar. It's

1:17:27

a steel guitar? Yeah,

1:17:30

like, you do it. Look

1:17:32

at, look at, look at, look at how he's jumping

1:17:34

around. Oh.

1:17:38

Hey. politician

1:17:40

for the actual guy.

1:17:45

Everybody do you see this

1:17:47

thing? The

1:17:50

way they're sitALLY be

1:17:53

I don't have any State of OR I don't like it.

1:17:55

Yeah, you're there. There's

1:18:03

not a lot of lyrics, just a lot of... No,

1:18:06

and very little talent in dancing. They're

1:18:08

doing the same thing over... He's just

1:18:10

doing this topic. Yeah, it's a standstill

1:18:12

running man. It's weird. Yeah. He's dancing

1:18:15

like someone that weighs 600 pounds with

1:18:17

that. Oh,

1:18:19

we got a fucking back shit. Oh, yeah.

1:18:23

No, this is a whole party, though.

1:18:25

They got it real. He

1:18:28

looks like he's having a fucking ball making

1:18:30

it. This is the sack slash guitar solo.

1:18:33

Oh, there he goes. Air

1:18:35

Saxon. He's on the ground. He's on the

1:18:37

ground. He just laid on

1:18:40

the floor, riving, playing air

1:18:42

sacks to the fucking... Grab-blocking on

1:18:44

his back. Wow, what the fuck

1:18:46

are you doing? Like

1:18:48

Michael J. Fox playing the guitar at

1:18:51

the end of the C enchantment. That's exactly...

1:18:53

That was no guitar. No guitar. He

1:18:56

did it with no guitar. Oh,

1:19:03

wow, man. Fucking

1:19:06

the time is all mine. Oh, and

1:19:08

they clap too. I like the clap. Yeah.

1:19:13

Oh, he's gonna rap us out.

1:19:16

Oh, yeah. Look at him dancing.

1:19:19

Get down, Paul. I

1:19:23

cannot recommend enough that you just

1:19:25

look up Gaza fog on the

1:19:27

side, because it is fucking amazing.

1:19:31

You have to see the big dumb smile on his face to really

1:19:33

appreciate it. This is a millionaire. This

1:19:36

is a millionaire that doesn't have to do this. Wow.

1:19:38

No, no, no, he doesn't. He's a soccer player.

1:19:43

Here is somebody a comment, by the way,

1:19:45

on this. It says, lyrically, his

1:19:47

best worked for me. Lyrically. Come

1:19:50

on, everybody, gather around. We're all gonna

1:19:52

get down. That's

1:19:54

great lyrics there. conceptual

1:20:00

work and thought it had serious promise

1:20:02

hopes is still hoping he'll return to

1:20:05

music Oh Another

1:20:07

one a highly underrated vocalist

1:20:10

What it's my core belief that

1:20:12

his vocal talents are far in excess of

1:20:14

his talents with a football Which

1:20:17

is one of the best in the world. Why

1:20:19

does he have so many YouTube accounts that he can

1:20:21

write these comments? His vast

1:20:23

potential remains highly untapped to this

1:20:26

day How

1:20:28

shit What incredibly sincere

1:20:30

and touching lyrics we have here particularly

1:20:32

the bit about sausage rolls as for

1:20:35

the dancing Well, it's comparable

1:20:37

with that of Michael Jackson's amazing talent

1:20:39

from Gaza. I hope they're getting there

1:20:42

particularly the line about

1:20:44

sausage roll the sausage rolls I'm

1:20:48

so glad he mentioned our cuisine who's not

1:20:51

gonna like sausage rolls. He apparently really likes

1:20:53

them Yeah, this

1:20:56

is amazing that fucking comments he

1:20:58

has other songs too, but that's the

1:21:00

big one number two for Christ shocking

1:21:02

Shocking number two. What is this a

1:21:04

mix? How

1:21:07

does that work is there did somebody remix it

1:21:10

No, it's people. Oh that was in

1:21:13

somebody's mix. Oh, God. They

1:21:15

got a bunch of that's on their playlist Yeah,

1:21:18

is that oh boy? Yeah, this is amazing. Okay,

1:21:20

so we'll get off of there. Oh How

1:21:24

could you That's

1:21:27

a bad song the phone on the

1:21:30

time is mine. It's all mine. I own the

1:21:32

fog. I don't know what that mine Yeah,

1:21:35

I don't know what the fuck he's talking about

1:21:37

but everybody gather around and let's get down Smoke

1:21:41

on the water is better. I don't know

1:21:43

man. That's pretty Such

1:21:47

a great riff there's nothing great

1:21:49

about what he just did there's no

1:21:51

sax solo in that though Yeah, they

1:21:53

they don't on the water doesn't have

1:21:55

sex no sausage rolls. No way about

1:21:57

sausage rolls. No way to play a right

1:22:00

air sacs on the floor. I

1:22:02

mean, it's got its qualities. Don't get me

1:22:04

wrong, but I really think that Fog on

1:22:06

the Tine is the superior song here. Wow,

1:22:10

that is awesome.

1:22:13

He also established Paul Gascoigne Promotions

1:22:15

and hired a number of people.

1:22:17

I know he's got a big

1:22:19

staff so he could handle the

1:22:21

requests for endorsements and using

1:22:24

his likeness. It went number two ironically,

1:22:26

right? And he took it serious? No!

1:22:29

People fucking loved it. They

1:22:31

fucking liked it. This

1:22:33

wasn't Shaq Fu where we were all

1:22:36

laughing, you know what I mean? Yeah,

1:22:39

and he rined something about sticky underarms, remember

1:22:41

that? No, no, no, no. Yeah, this wasn't

1:22:43

the Super Bowl shuffle. These

1:22:45

people liked this fucking song.

1:22:48

They thought it was fun. Wow,

1:22:51

the whole time he's just pumping his arms

1:22:53

and... Yeah, there's no dance. Big smile on

1:22:56

his face. And he got everybody to do

1:22:58

it because that shit is easy. He looked

1:23:00

like the Bushwhackers. He was doing the Bushwhackers.

1:23:04

He's doing that the whole time he's wearing just

1:23:07

a soccer warm-up outfit. No other clothes. It's very

1:23:09

fucking weird. In

1:23:11

case you don't know who I am. It's

1:23:13

been like Shaq rapping in an Orlando magic

1:23:16

jersey. No shit, yeah. So

1:23:19

he signed an exclusive deal with

1:23:21

The Sun, the newspaper, but

1:23:23

also the newspaper would print

1:23:25

shit about him at the same time.

1:23:28

Okay. He promoted two video games, Gaza's

1:23:30

Superstar Soccer and Gaza 2. He

1:23:33

is Shaq. Oh yeah, no,

1:23:35

he's so big over there. He's got a number two.

1:23:38

Shaq, if the record sold, which it didn't.

1:23:41

Shaq Diesel didn't sell well? No, that's

1:23:43

the thing. He never had a number

1:23:46

two single. That's big. Number two is... How

1:23:49

high did his best song get, do you think? Not

1:23:52

on the charts. Nobody fucking looked into that.

1:23:55

Shaq? No fucking way. On

1:23:58

the regular pop chart? your

1:24:00

ass on the Billboard No

1:24:03

fucking way in the world. No way

1:24:05

it got above 50 ever. Nobody listened

1:24:07

to that We

1:24:09

were the audience for that. I got

1:24:12

a lot of love basketball and I wouldn't have bought

1:24:14

that at all ever James

1:24:18

I got to number four. They got to

1:24:20

number one. What chart on what chart not

1:24:22

the Billboard chart though Oh, you don't want

1:24:25

billboard. No, I want to I don't know.

1:24:27

I mean on the regular Billboard

1:24:29

pop charts. Is this the Okay

1:24:34

R&B number 20. There you go.

1:24:36

R&B number 20. Yeah, that's not

1:24:38

the pop charts. That's specific genre

1:24:40

That's our dirty everybody thirty

1:24:42

three thirty five and twenty Yeah,

1:24:46

there you go. That's that's about right number

1:24:48

two Deuce

1:24:50

with a bullet This fucking

1:24:53

guy he had one that

1:24:55

got to number five, but it's because it had the

1:24:57

RZA Methodian and Rakeem

1:24:59

in it. Jesus. That one wasn't

1:25:01

Rakeem. Oh, it was Prince Rakeem.

1:25:03

Okay. Yeah, that was that's from

1:25:06

gravediggers that yeah, he he

1:25:08

fucking Wow Shaq that song

1:25:10

I remember was on mixtapes all the time Uh-huh

1:25:13

is like back in the 90s to be like

1:25:15

a guy with a briefcase at the mall and

1:25:17

he'd open it up and have a Bunch of

1:25:19

cassettes in it and you could fucking my mixtapes

1:25:21

of good fucking mixtapes though Yeah of local DJs

1:25:23

and guys in the city. I know I got

1:25:25

skill get to 33 James. That's crazy. That's disturbing

1:25:30

That's disturbing because it's fucking terrible that shows

1:25:32

you the power of celebrity. Yeah. Well, it

1:25:35

was on it was on MTV Oh,

1:25:37

yeah, the time and so don't think about

1:25:40

that and still nobody bought it. Yeah

1:25:42

Well, it had that sick It had that sick

1:25:44

like at the very beginning where it sounded like

1:25:46

it was gonna be a good song And then

1:25:48

it's a bus them in the odd drag. Yeah,

1:25:50

and then it went back cuz he'd get good

1:25:52

produce production So the beat would be alright and

1:25:55

then he'd be like Right,

1:25:57

you're like, what the fuck are you talking about? No

1:26:01

one can understand yet. As soon

1:26:03

as he said busting in the eye with

1:26:05

the drum so like oh no no no

1:26:07

no. No pick a non-verbal

1:26:10

occupation please like dunking basketball. It

1:26:12

just went so bad Shaq. We

1:26:14

do this because we can't dunk

1:26:16

as well as Shaq. That's the

1:26:19

thing. Better voices though that's the

1:26:21

other thing. There's

1:26:23

just something about monotone rapping or

1:26:25

monotone anything. You can do that.

1:26:27

That's awful. And in the deepest

1:26:30

voice ever. Deep monotone voice. No one

1:26:32

can understand what the fuck you're talking

1:26:34

about. In a time that everybody had

1:26:36

tens and twelves in our trunks you

1:26:39

are fucking up my roof. And everybody

1:26:41

else had

1:26:43

a real sharp vocal shit to him and

1:26:45

then he was like listen here you gotta

1:26:48

up and down. And then waves. Like that

1:26:50

was the best part about Wu-Tang

1:26:53

or reflection.

1:26:55

Yes. Method

1:26:57

man throwing some sort

1:26:59

of curveball into his punch. It was

1:27:01

amazing. It was incredible. And he

1:27:03

had a good voice. It was incredible. Shaq no. No. Bust him

1:27:05

in the eye. Oh

1:27:12

god I remember that was so

1:27:14

bad. That was so fucking bad. So

1:27:17

I guess the coach quit

1:27:19

the English. I know how you can get

1:27:22

out of debt. Real quick sell Paul Gascoigne.

1:27:24

Really? Yes. There's a guy in Italy that'd be

1:27:26

happy to buy him. Sell him

1:27:29

to there. Because they give huge.

1:27:32

If a team has a guy under

1:27:34

contract they give gigantic chunks to

1:27:36

the team. It's like Japanese teams when

1:27:39

American guys sign baseball players. So it's

1:27:41

a big thing. They deal in the

1:27:43

end will end up being worth 8.5

1:27:45

million pounds to Tottenham. That's

1:27:47

almost done. You're almost there. That's what I mean.

1:27:49

This is how you can kind

1:27:51

of one swoop here be done to show it to this

1:27:54

guy. So yeah that's what they're gonna do

1:27:56

I guess. Problem is Paul

1:27:58

hurts himself here. a little bit. I

1:28:01

guess he, uh, he needs some

1:28:03

guy and then, uh, fucked

1:28:05

his ligaments up in his knee. He said he had a

1:28:07

broken kneecap at one point here. Oh,

1:28:09

he's blasted the guy and hurt his knee,

1:28:11

hurt his knee doing it. They took him

1:28:13

out on a stretcher and everything like that.

1:28:16

So that's not wonderful. Obviously that'll make him

1:28:18

go down in value. Uh, but then when

1:28:20

he came back from that, he suffered another

1:28:22

knee injury in 91 when he was at

1:28:24

a nightclub

1:28:26

and had a problem. We'll talk about that.

1:28:28

September 30th, 1991. Yeah. He just came back

1:28:32

from an injury and the headline is

1:28:34

scuffle keeps guys on the sidelines. Oh,

1:28:36

he didn't like twist it dancing to

1:28:38

his own. No, no, no. Yeah. He

1:28:40

was like, fucking the times. Oh, my.

1:28:42

Oh, Jesus Christ. That's a hard dance.

1:28:44

Nobody do that. No, no, no. He

1:28:47

was just, uh, getting in a fight

1:28:49

here. So, uh, soccer star Paul Gascoigne

1:28:51

was recovering in hospital today after undergoing

1:28:53

a fresh operation on his right knee

1:28:55

following an incident in a nightclub. The

1:28:57

surgeon who originally operated on his knee after

1:28:59

his last injury said it would delay him

1:29:01

a few months coming back. He said he

1:29:04

has a fresh fracture of the kneecap, which

1:29:06

has been reviewed or re rewired. It's a

1:29:08

new injury. It's annoying for him, but the

1:29:10

outcome will be fine in the long run.

1:29:12

He'll be staying in for a few days.

1:29:15

He was treated at the hospital.

1:29:17

Um, yeah. Police said at the

1:29:19

nightclub in Newcastle, he was punched

1:29:21

in the face. Oh,

1:29:24

boy. Well, uh, apparently

1:29:26

here while a guest, uh, fell to the

1:29:28

ground and he hurt his knee, I guess

1:29:30

he, someone punched him in the face and

1:29:32

somebody else fell down and took him down

1:29:34

too. And he smashed his knee. Nobody knows

1:29:37

it. They said it was an unprovoked attack.

1:29:39

It seemed like some guy just came and

1:29:41

punched him in the face. Like,

1:29:43

Oh, that fucking fog on the time sucks. That's

1:29:45

the guy that wrote that fucking song. I can't

1:29:48

get it out of my head. The guy who

1:29:50

spent three bucks on it. That's what it was.

1:29:52

And he was like, you son of a bitch.

1:29:54

I've got a single in my car. That's it.

1:29:57

The coach said, quote, he played no part in

1:29:59

this incident. from getting hurt again. Thank

1:30:01

goodness it was not serious. So they said

1:30:03

he's just standing around, didn't do anything. So

1:30:06

they had a probe into this whole thing

1:30:08

and when it ended, here's an article on

1:30:10

that. Police last night revealed they had called

1:30:12

off their investigation into an alleged attack on

1:30:15

soccer star Paul Gascoigne in a nightclub over

1:30:17

the weekend. They said the footballer had made

1:30:19

no complaint to them. So he doesn't want

1:30:22

to even press charges or do anything. They

1:30:25

said the detectives questioned the staff

1:30:27

at Walker's nightclub in Newcastle upon

1:30:29

Tyne, but

1:30:33

could not find anyone

1:30:35

who witnessed the incident. They

1:30:37

said he's recovering and had

1:30:39

an operation. He's recovering. No

1:30:41

witnesses. He doesn't want to press charges. What

1:30:43

are you going to do here? So

1:30:46

the problem is he's supposed to go to

1:30:48

Italy and he's injured

1:30:50

now. So

1:30:54

now he's supposed to be transferred over there,

1:30:56

but they don't know because now he's hurt

1:30:58

and it's kind of a mess here. So

1:31:00

December 7th, 1991, he's got a little bit

1:31:02

of a problem here. He

1:31:06

told police he had

1:31:08

to go to court because he hit a guy. And

1:31:11

his excuse for it is that he's lonely

1:31:13

and frustrated being a soccer superstar. Same season.

1:31:16

I get the same feeling a lot. It's

1:31:18

difficult for us. And especially too when my

1:31:20

son only hit number two and we were

1:31:22

really looking for it to go

1:31:24

to number one. Yeah, I

1:31:26

didn't quite make it there. So that's

1:31:29

tough. He admitted assaulting a man outside

1:31:31

a restaurant. Jesus Christ,

1:31:33

Newcastle upon Tyne here. He

1:31:36

said, quote, this is the,

1:31:38

he said, is it

1:31:40

because you're Paul Gascoigne and it always will

1:31:42

be until I pack in playing football. I

1:31:44

am until I am nobody. There's always someone

1:31:47

who's going to want to have a go

1:31:49

at you. Everything that happened that night was

1:31:51

in the heat of the moment, not because

1:31:53

I caused it, but because I am Paul

1:31:55

Gascoigne. At

1:31:58

some point you get to level of

1:32:00

fame that my friend can't go out. You don't

1:32:02

get to go out anymore. I'm sorry. And if

1:32:04

you go out, you got a higher five security

1:32:06

guards that stand around you and make it no

1:32:08

fun for anybody. And then it's not fun anyway.

1:32:10

No. Anyways, they'll stay at home. So at

1:32:13

some point, you got to just, it's a private party.

1:32:15

That's part of fame. You know what I mean? It

1:32:18

sucks. People want, people

1:32:20

desire that. Yeah. I mean, that's

1:32:23

fine for me because I'm not looking to go out anyway.

1:32:25

So it's all good, but for this guy, he wants to

1:32:27

go out. But yeah, I

1:32:30

hope we can get there someday. That would

1:32:32

be wonderful. So my reason for not going out

1:32:35

is because it's a real pain in the ass

1:32:37

to everybody rather than just because I don't feel

1:32:39

like it. It's a fucking nightmare.

1:32:41

Yeah. He said, this is one of

1:32:43

the reasons I want to leave the country and

1:32:45

get away from all this. This is one of

1:32:47

the reasons why I feel like packing football in

1:32:49

because everybody wants to go against us. I'm

1:32:52

walking home with my sister, but no,

1:32:54

it's Paul Gascoigne's fault. Nobody

1:32:56

understands the way I feel. Nobody in the

1:32:58

world understands the way I feel. Nobody

1:33:01

doesn't get it. Is he a 13 year

1:33:03

old girl now? Yeah, take it easy. Nobody

1:33:06

knows how I feel. Runs

1:33:08

in her room. I want one now, daddy. Yeah, starts

1:33:10

scribbling in her diary. What the fuck is going on?

1:33:13

So the prosecuting attorney said he punched

1:33:15

a man named John Beach, who's 34,

1:33:18

a railway worker, who

1:33:21

stumbled, I guess he was drunk and

1:33:23

stumbled into Paul's sister, Lindsay, the younger

1:33:25

one, seven years younger, and knocked

1:33:28

her over. That'll do it. Paul

1:33:30

pushed him up against the wall and punched him. You know what? That's

1:33:32

fair. You knock my

1:33:34

little sister over. I'm fucking punching you. Sorry.

1:33:36

You're drunk and you're running into girls? You're

1:33:38

getting punched for that. You're getting fucking punched.

1:33:41

Yeah, especially the seven years. If it's your

1:33:43

older sister, you're like, yeah, I know. You

1:33:45

go, kick his ass, Dave. She

1:33:49

deserved it, but your younger sister, you're seven years

1:33:51

younger, you're going to be protective as shit. There's

1:33:55

also allegations that he attacked a waiter,

1:33:58

and those were Drops. When

1:34:00

I the guy said he didn't want

1:34:02

to give evidence, he said that he

1:34:05

wanted to spare Mr. Gascoyne and himself

1:34:07

any unwarranted attention as of the waiver.

1:34:09

Several images, Yeah, nursing. Exactly

1:34:12

So He's conditionally discharged for this

1:34:14

and order to pay forty dollars

1:34:16

in costs Forty pounds and costs.

1:34:20

But. The thing is, Acting on

1:34:22

impulses, what's good for him? That's the problem

1:34:24

on the field. Everybody says whatever you feel,

1:34:26

do it and then off the field or

1:34:29

like a think about what to do before

1:34:31

you down and he can't forget mixed messages

1:34:33

yet. the I hears from the book about

1:34:35

advices from the Gaza in Italy bucks and

1:34:37

said Gaza was also at his best when

1:34:40

acting on impulse and was thus told by

1:34:42

his managers to do precisely that. Many of

1:34:44

his battles later in life or indirect are

1:34:46

in direct result of being hard wired to

1:34:48

act impulsively. A worked for him on the

1:34:51

pitch, but not. Off of it there's

1:34:53

another uncomfortable theory hear that must be

1:34:55

covered. Gas coins, mental health issues made

1:34:57

him a better footballer. It's one of

1:34:59

those things. the how many fucking Nfl

1:35:01

players? They're crazy and that's why they're

1:35:03

good is a fucking insane. That's the

1:35:06

problem. I mean, I were in and

1:35:08

saying they wouldn't throw their bodies at

1:35:10

people like that and be sober. says.

1:35:13

One of those things. This is certainly

1:35:15

the view of former time him in

1:35:17

England team mate Gary Lineker. Ah, and

1:35:20

a few in the game at knew

1:35:22

him better. This is Linacre. part of

1:35:24

his genius. Part of his magnificence is

1:35:26

the fact that he was so vulnerable.

1:35:28

Without that vulnerable side. Without that carefree

1:35:30

side. Without all the things that come

1:35:32

with Gaza, I don't think Paul Gascoigne

1:35:34

would have been the player he was.

1:35:36

It is a tragic trade off, sounds

1:35:38

like and in. As

1:35:40

really is, it's crazy south

1:35:43

then. Ah, February fifth, Ninety

1:35:45

nine detail, he's at Walkers

1:35:47

again. Oh. And. this

1:35:49

he's allegedly punched unconscious at walker's i

1:35:52

want all his he met his he

1:35:54

met his match yeah somebody over there

1:35:56

fuck him and punched him unconscious so

1:35:58

ninety to ninety five He's going to

1:36:00

go play for Lazio in Italy, and

1:36:03

he joined them for a fee of 5.5 million pounds.

1:36:07

He received a two million

1:36:09

pound signing on fee, so

1:36:12

signing bonus, and signed the contract worth 22,000

1:36:14

pounds a week. Jesus

1:36:17

Christ! In 1992. Oh

1:36:20

my God, that's so much money. That

1:36:23

is a lot. That's a lot of fucking

1:36:25

money. He did

1:36:27

play one last game in England at Wembley,

1:36:30

and he said he bought dozens of tickets for his

1:36:32

friends and all that kind of thing. He

1:36:34

said, quote, I was loving the hype, but

1:36:37

people didn't realize it can get quite scary.

1:36:40

There were people carrying cardboard cutouts, old

1:36:42

women telling me what I should do,

1:36:44

and three year olds looking at me

1:36:47

saying, mom, that's Gaza. I thought, whoa,

1:36:51

I'm a bigger deal than I knew I was.

1:36:53

Yeah, children recognize me. They know my fucking nickname.

1:36:55

Yeah, he said, though, within minutes of

1:36:57

the start of the game, Gascoigne should

1:36:59

have been sent off for a wild

1:37:01

high challenge on Forrest's Gary Parker, planting

1:37:03

a boot in the Parker's midriff, but

1:37:05

only being penalized with a free kick.

1:37:09

And Paul said, I wish I'd gotten sent

1:37:11

off for the first tackle on Parker. I

1:37:13

remember he'd clattered me in one game. You

1:37:16

know, when I get clattered, that sounds like he got hit in the balls, doesn't

1:37:18

it? Clattered? Clackered and

1:37:20

clattered and all sorts of shit. But

1:37:23

I waited two years to get him back. He

1:37:26

was one of their playmakers, and what you try to

1:37:28

do is injure his legs. What?

1:37:33

I've never heard of a sport where they're like, you

1:37:36

gotta go after the guy's legs. See

1:37:38

what you do is break the fucking guy's legs

1:37:40

and all the well. You make it so he

1:37:42

can't make a living for his family anyway. He

1:37:44

can't walk or run. And

1:37:46

his livelihood. That's really what it's all about. What I'm trying to

1:37:48

do is put him in a wheelchair. No, no. Yeah.

1:37:52

That's a boring goal. That's crazy. Nope.

1:37:55

Injure his legs. If You're going to challenge him,

1:37:57

make sure he can't kick a ball as well as he can

1:37:59

if. The feet or his legs he

1:38:01

says christ man, But I but I

1:38:03

merely took his windpipe out. Yeah.

1:38:06

That's that I've heard. That's. I

1:38:08

guess he clattered. I'm good on that one.

1:38:11

Now I'm flattered as fuck. and Bullock's on

1:38:13

their South. July. Eighth, Ninety

1:38:15

Ninety two. He gets a big

1:38:17

welcome in Italy. here to ask.

1:38:19

This newspaper article says Lazio fan

1:38:21

smashed windows and flower pots at

1:38:24

Rome's main airports. When Paul by

1:38:26

Gascoyne flew into start a new

1:38:28

career with the Italian clubs, about

1:38:30

six hundred fans cheered his arrival.

1:38:33

And. He said that he expected a warm welcome.

1:38:36

And. He was of warm. While

1:38:39

it's warm and Italy thou could make

1:38:41

about that. they said police said brawling

1:38:43

fans had shattered windows and the arrival

1:38:45

solve destroying several large flower pots and

1:38:47

kicked a press photographer. Sweet price of

1:38:49

one survives. A bunch of Italian get

1:38:51

six hundred Italian guys crammed in a

1:38:53

one hour margins. It's forget about it's

1:38:55

it's It's good. there's gonna be fights.

1:38:57

Are they on right now? He.

1:39:00

Said, I'm pleased the negotiations are over. I've

1:39:02

been feeling I belong to Lazio for a

1:39:04

long time and I can't wait to put.

1:39:07

The white and blue shirt

1:39:09

on September Twenty Third. Nineteen

1:39:11

Ninety Two. They're

1:39:13

talking about when seeking a day blue debut.

1:39:16

The I had he says quote this is

1:39:18

Paul I'm going to make sauce He's the

1:39:20

coach. A nice cup of tea each day

1:39:22

and by him an apple. Is.

1:39:24

Wondering when he's going to be

1:39:26

able to play. So he made

1:39:28

a series a debut on September

1:39:30

twenty seventh, nineteen Ninety Two and

1:39:33

a match against Greece which was

1:39:35

to also televised in Britain. At

1:39:37

some places they didn't televise the

1:39:39

fuck again after the third place

1:39:41

play off in a tad Italia

1:39:43

ninety I'd Xiadao are Georgi? any

1:39:45

ads Yanni? I'm sorry Agnelli had

1:39:47

of their Fi at Corporation here

1:39:49

and a key advisor I guess

1:39:51

to the team having run the

1:39:53

club himself the other. I did. The

1:39:55

other team walked into the England dressing room

1:39:57

and asked to speak to Paul. The

1:40:00

story goes paul. Brown.

1:40:02

This man and a boisterous headlock and

1:40:04

slapped his head. I'm an old man.

1:40:07

He ran the team at this other

1:40:09

T between Nineteen Forty Seven and Nineteen

1:40:11

Fifty Four. So that's what I'm in

1:40:14

a headlock in the nineties. Yes, he

1:40:16

ran it seems forty years ago, so

1:40:18

how one can always a is, haven't

1:40:20

at least seventies or eighties or something

1:40:22

they said word anyone else we would

1:40:25

assume exaggeration, but this was Gascoyne, so

1:40:27

he can assume that Agnelli was not

1:40:29

accustomed to such treatments. and certainly by

1:40:31

someone who we'd never met before, that

1:40:33

he never even met him in a

1:40:36

way of someone's our. Holy

1:40:38

Shit. They.

1:40:40

Said this approach extended to his new

1:40:42

teammates to he loved. He. Was very

1:40:44

boisterous li welcoming. He lot of not

1:40:46

welcoming but wanted to be wanted to

1:40:48

be there. He went around Italy, was

1:40:50

going out everywhere, shown his face and

1:40:52

that yeah he said that before his

1:40:55

first day of training he visited a

1:40:57

bookshop in the city and bought twenty

1:40:59

copies. Of a language guide

1:41:01

for Italians learning English. And

1:41:03

placed a copy of the block on

1:41:05

the designated benches of each of his

1:41:08

teammates at the training ground. It was

1:41:10

alley and for dummies a data read

1:41:12

those it was. It was learn English

1:41:14

at Allianz that ah was learn English

1:41:16

for hims of English language but Italians

1:41:18

learning English. It was all. So

1:41:21

as learned my language it was a joke

1:41:23

is what he was though. It's yeah, I

1:41:25

use it all on my language. I'm allardyce