0:04

Countdown with Keith Olderman is a

0:06

production of iHeartRadio.

0:21

Trump has descended into full

0:23

fledged panic over the possible gag

0:26

order, and either he is exaggerating for

0:28

effect what a shock that would be, or

0:30

more likely, his lawyers preparing

0:32

an answer to Jack Smith's request to Judge

0:35

Chutkin that is due Monday, told

0:37

him something that set his hair

0:39

on fire, and you know the dangers

0:42

of combustion when spray paint is mixed

0:44

with open flames. And that imagery

0:46

is more than just a joke about his bottle

0:49

blondness. It is a forecast

0:51

of things to come. We are headed to

0:53

a legal crisis over Trump's

0:56

social media posts and his refusal

0:58

to accede to the rule of law. And

1:00

I don't know where this ends, but at the

1:02

far end of the political science fic where

1:05

it ends is a shootout between

1:07

United States marshals and United

1:09

States Secret Service agents. Either

1:12

way, it is enough of a story that I think

1:14

it's bigger than the oh sexual

1:16

assault accusation against Rudy Giuliani

1:19

by Cassidy Hutchinson, and bigger

1:21

than Lynn would flipping on the entire

1:23

Trump team, and bigger than a tweet

1:25

from Junior Trump announcing his father had

1:27

died. He was hacked, we

1:30

think, Trump writes

1:33

deranged Jack Smith's and

1:35

parenthetically, Jack Smith says, thanks

1:37

for more evidence, don Deranged

1:39

Jack Smith's gag order request

1:42

would make it impossible for me to speak

1:44

negatively about Biden and

1:46

other subjects of incompetence.

1:48

How ridiculous. No more First Amendment,

1:52

and regardless of whatever triggered

1:54

that. In Trump's forever malfunctioning,

1:56

perpetually paranoid, mainly martyrdom

1:59

brain, it signals yet again

2:01

that if Judge Chuckkin actually imposes

2:03

limits on what Trump can and

2:06

cannot say, or write, or both,

2:08

we are headed for a genuine confrontation.

2:11

Trump is told not to attack or obstruct

2:14

the prosecution, the judge, the witnesses, the

2:16

jury pool. He agrees under oath.

2:18

Within seventy two hours, he does it anyway.

2:21

Six weeks later, the prosecutor tells the

2:23

judge he did it anyway and has kept

2:25

on doing it, and she has to do something.

2:27

And he cites, among dozens of other things, the

2:29

repeated use of the adjective deranged

2:32

in social media posts, and Trump responds

2:34

by using the adjective deranged in

2:36

a social media post and

2:39

the prosecutor points in particular at

2:41

Trump's lie that he was indicted

2:44

at the orders of the president of

2:46

the United States. And Trump

2:48

comes back and repeats the lie and expands

2:50

it into something that would be totally delightful

2:53

and totally illegal, some

2:56

kind of court order in which Trump can

2:58

never comment about Biden

3:00

again. 'tis a consummation

3:03

devoutedly to be and

3:06

as I said, it's also illegal. But

3:09

Trump is clearly neither bowing

3:11

to the instructions of a federal judge

3:13

nor adhering to his own agreement

3:16

to those instructions. And that

3:19

is the essence here, Because

3:21

I feel like the announcer in the Timeless

3:23

Bob and Ray sketch about

3:25

the driving of the Golden Strike. That's

3:28

it, ladies and gentlemen. The Golden Spike

3:31

is driven. The Transcontinental

3:33

Railroad is complete, and

3:36

here come the trains, one

3:38

from the east and one from

3:41

the west. I'm standing

3:43

here seeing this madness unfolding,

3:46

and I know that the next thing is

3:48

a full on, head on

3:52

high speed train wreck. What

3:55

happens if Chutkin doesn't opt to punish

3:58

and corral him by just moving

4:00

up the start of the insurrection trial,

4:02

say one day for every violation, or

4:05

doesn't opt to do only that, but

4:07

actually institutes a gag order

4:09

of some kind, even a minimal one, and

4:12

Trump ignores it, and

4:14

Trump calls her deranged,

4:16

and Trump says it's illegal, and

4:19

Trump continues to defy the court.

4:22

His bail, his not

4:24

being kept in a jail cell in

4:27

the District of Columbia until the trial

4:29

starts, is dependent on

4:31

him not defying the

4:34

court. As I

4:36

said last week, at some point, whatever limitations

4:38

Chruckckin imposes upon him when

4:40

he violates them, whether

4:43

it is the first time he violates them or

4:45

the fiftieth time he violates them, He's

4:47

not going to surrender. He's

4:49

not going to let them put him in prison.

4:52

They're going to have to go and

4:55

get him. And what happens

4:58

then it

5:01

seems madness to risk the lives

5:03

of marshals or Secret Service agents

5:06

to protect this semi sentient pile

5:08

of feces. But

5:11

what you're going to have the

5:13

Secret Service agents protecting

5:15

him turn around and arrest him,

5:18

or Biden is going to order the head of the Secret

5:20

Service to order his men to stand down when

5:22

the marshals arrive. Trump

5:24

is going to see the photo shoot value in

5:26

an actual purp walk and just say, sure,

5:29

take me to prison. I'm

5:31

not counting on that last one. Rolling

5:35

Stone now reports that, as you would expect,

5:37

the I don't think about jail crap

5:39

that he gave to the gullible Kristen Welker

5:41

in last Sunday's stenography class

5:44

is nonsense. Quoting in

5:46

the past several months, Donald Trump has had a burning

5:49

question for some of his confidants and attorneys.

5:51

Would the authorities make him wear quote

5:54

one of those jumpsuits unquote

5:57

in prison? Three sources

5:59

familiar with his comments say he's been asking

6:01

lawyers and other people close to him what

6:04

a prison sentence would look like for

6:06

a former American president. Would he

6:09

be sent to a club fed

6:11

style prison or a bad prison?

6:13

Would he serve out a sentence in a plush home

6:15

confinement. Those who've heard

6:18

him ask these questions about a hypothetical

6:20

sentencing tell Rolling Stone that it's clear

6:22

the gravity of his mounting legal peril

6:25

is getting to Trump unquote.

6:29

As an aside, I understand jan Winner is asking

6:31

the same questions, but seriously, folks,

6:34

Trump's lawyers have to submit an

6:36

answer by Monday, so they

6:38

have discussed the Smith gag order

6:41

motion, and at some point they

6:44

have to have discussed the response or will

6:46

discuss the response with Trump, and that's where

6:48

the social media outburst could

6:50

have originated. Or somebody

6:53

read Trump a quote article at

6:56

Wright part quote news that

6:59

is their standard formula, a right wing nut

7:01

job in this case, the former head writer for the

7:03

former Tucker carl tweets

7:05

something. In this case it was

7:07

the Trump gag order is truly insane.

7:10

The Washington Post then prints a piece

7:12

critical of the proposed order, written

7:14

by their hyper conservative guy who they

7:16

gave an opinion job to based on his tenure

7:19

as a Wall Street Journal editorial

7:21

page editor, and before

7:23

that, a writer for the now bankrupt American

7:26

Interest magazine that had been funded

7:28

by the Nixon Foundation. Now

7:31

no, seriously that Nixon

7:34

Nixon, who like Reagan, is still damaging

7:36

this country from hell anyway,

7:39

Breitbart aggregates these two throwaway

7:41

opinions slaps on the headline quote

7:44

Smith's gag order would essentially ban

7:46

Trump from criticizing Biden. Critics,

7:49

say critics,

7:52

as if the critics the Nixon guy

7:54

and the Tucker Carlson guy, As if

7:56

these critics were H. L. Menkin and Pauline

7:59

Kale, and hours

8:01

later, coincidentally or not, Trump posts

8:03

the gag order would make it quote impossible

8:06

for me to speak negatively about Biden. It's

8:10

unlikely Trump just sees that on

8:12

his own. It is brought to

8:14

him by somebody. If you want speculation

8:17

out of whole cloth, it sounds like the

8:20

question was his tantrum inspired

8:22

by that or by the lawyers might

8:25

actually be a false choice. It's probably both.

8:27

The lawyers probably told him in the last few

8:30

days how they plan to answer the gag order

8:32

request next Monday, and they were realistic.

8:34

And maybe that's where the rolling

8:36

stone he's worried about the

8:38

orange jumpsuit, like, oh now he's worried

8:40

about orange story comes from.

8:43

And maybe then Trump calls his

8:46

real legal advisor, his non

8:48

attorney's spokesman, Tom Fitten,

8:50

and says, not in so many words, but

8:53

says, I want you to tell me what

8:55

I want to hear. And that's what

8:57

Tom Fitton does, and Fitten

8:59

does it. And I'll just mention again that Tom Fitton

9:02

will never know this, but

9:04

he is one of the leading opponents of Trump alived

9:07

today. So

9:11

that other stuff I mentioned Rudy Giuliani

9:13

sexually assaulted Cassidy Hutchinson on

9:16

January sixth in

9:19

the Trump green Room slash tent

9:21

while Trump was inciting the insurrection. What

9:24

did you do during the insurrection, Rudy, No,

9:28

it's who did I do? This

9:30

is in her book quote

9:33

by the way, he says, fingering the fabric,

9:36

I'm loving this leather jacket on

9:38

you. His hand slips under

9:40

my blazer, then my skirt.

9:43

I feel his frozen fingers

9:45

trail up my thigh.

9:49

This is the most serious sexual

9:51

misconduct allegation against Rudolph

9:53

Giuliani. In nearly four

9:56

months, we

9:59

got a denial from a friend of Rudy's

10:01

named Ted, not from

10:04

Rudy's lawyer, because of course Rudy's lawyer is

10:06

suing him because Rudy didn't pay, because

10:08

Rudy was indicted in Georgia.

10:11

And this reminds me to remind you that I met

10:13

Rudy like twenty six, twenty

10:15

seven years ago. And when people who

10:17

only know him from nine to eleven say, what a fall

10:19

for an American hero or what

10:22

happened to this Giuliani, I always say, I

10:24

don't know what happened, but it happened sometime

10:26

before nineteen ninety five. I'll

10:29

tell that whole story again later in this edition.

10:32

In any event, Cassidy Hutchinson's story

10:34

is in her new book Enough, which

10:36

will be published next Tuesday, and the Guardian

10:38

is quoting from it because here's another shock.

10:41

Somehow a copy was

10:43

accidentally released in advance of publication,

10:47

and it found its way to a newspaper, which

10:49

makes three hundred

10:52

and eighty seven consecutive controversial

10:54

books where the same thing has happened.

10:57

I know. And

10:59

oh, by the way, as Juliani groped

11:01

her during January sixth,

11:05

mss Hutchinson writes, John Eastman

11:07

watched and leered, and

11:10

one assumes the loathsome Eastman

11:12

doesn't just have problems with elections.

11:18

All this Trump lawyer talk naturally

11:20

evokes the name Lynn Wood, who

11:23

went from defending Richard Jewel, who

11:26

was not the Atlanta Olympic bomber and

11:28

Gary Conditt, who did not kill

11:31

his congressional intern. Went

11:33

from that to something

11:36

something Jesus slay them, something

11:38

something Trump something something they can

11:40

kill me. But and then poof, early

11:42

this year, lynn Wood disappeared

11:45

and now we know why. New filing

11:48

from Fannie Willison, Georgia key line

11:50

in it, quote l lynn

11:52

Wood is a witness

11:54

for the state in the present case.

11:58

And now we know what a post that Elle lynn

12:00

Wood made about a month ago meant,

12:03

in which he said he had tested to the special

12:05

grand jury and he wanted to thank the District

12:07

Attorney's office for being so professional

12:11

and polite, and he flipped.

12:13

He totally flipped. And now he tells the Atlanta Journal Constitution

12:16

that jury's been subpoened and

12:18

they've told him they expect him to testify,

12:20

but quote, I didn't flip on President Trump. That's

12:22

just pure nonsense. I wouldn't have any knowledge

12:25

to flip on him. And the reporter asked

12:27

him, well, okay, then

12:29

what did you testify to that grand jury about?

12:32

And his answer was, quote, I don't have a copy

12:34

of my testimony and I don't want to go on memory

12:36

unquote, which means he totally flipped on

12:39

Trump, and he even more totally

12:41

flipped on Sidney Powell

12:44

and maybe on Juliani An Eastman

12:47

here's hoping. And

12:50

then there's Junior's Twitter account yesterday

12:52

morning, quote I'm sad to announce

12:55

my father, Donald Trump, has passed

12:57

away. I will be running for president

12:59

in twenty twenty four, and Ken

13:01

Klippenstein wrote obviously hacked,

13:03

but loll and I wrote

13:06

why obviously because

13:08

the Junior tweet and several

13:11

dumber and more vulgar ones vanished.

13:13

But there's still no explanation from Junior

13:16

about that or any claim that he was hacked.

13:19

And then a tweet showed up on Eric Trump's

13:21

feed, reading, I don't want my brother

13:23

to get his account back. This is all too entertaining.

13:27

And then that tweet disappeared, but soon in

13:29

its place there was a new one that was

13:31

still there last time I looked. That reads what

13:34

was my brother's past word Don

13:36

twenty twenty four. So

13:39

now, not only am I not really

13:41

sure if Junior got hacked or

13:44

if somebody just tampered with

13:46

his supply, but what I am

13:49

sure of, I guarantee you this.

13:51

This is a universal with cultist

13:54

despots the world over. Century

13:57

after century. They used to say this about

13:59

Sodom Hussein all the time,

14:01

seriously used to say this. I am certain

14:04

that in a matter of weeks tops

14:07

maybe sooner, this will be the basis

14:09

of an online proclamation somewhere

14:11

that Trump Trump's senior

14:14

dementia Jay the defendant that

14:16

Trump actually did die on

14:18

September twentieth, twenty twenty three. Look,

14:21

his son even announced it on Twitter. But he

14:23

came back to life because

14:26

he is immortal and he was sent

14:28

here by Jesus to make

14:30

sure America defeats

14:32

the Communists in order

14:34

to get a handle on those

14:36

out of control bacon

14:39

prices.

14:45

Also of interest here. Did you hear that question

14:48

that Representative Sparts

14:50

of Indiana asked Merrick

14:52

Garland at the Judiciary hearing yesterday.

14:55

Okay, good, you heard it. Now

14:58

did you understand it? Because I'm

15:00

not sure anybody understood

15:03

what the hell she was saying. Certainly

15:05

Merrick Garland didn't. That's

15:08

next this discountdown, Cissus

15:12

Countdown with Keith Alberman still

15:27

a head on countdown. Well, as I promised

15:29

the day I met Rudy Giuliani, and in retrospect,

15:32

I guess I'm just glad he didn't try to feel

15:34

me up. Actually,

15:37

that would have been one of the only things he could have done

15:40

that day twenty seven,

15:42

twenty six years ago. That would have

15:44

lessened my sense that he was some kind of replicant

15:47

or being from another planet.

15:50

Things I promised not to tell about

15:52

Rudy coming up first time

15:54

for the daily roundup of the misgrants Moron's Undonning

15:56

Kruger effects specimens, who constitute the bees

16:00

worst persons in the world the

16:02

Bronze J Dvance.

16:06

Now, you may have heard that jd Vance

16:08

was elected Senator from Ohio last November,

16:11

and you may have wondered to yourself, when

16:13

does jd Vance take office? When

16:15

does jd Vance start serving the people

16:18

of his state of Ohio. And the answer

16:20

is he doesn't. Jd

16:23

Vance just keeps on doing what

16:25

he did on the campaign trail, which

16:28

is mostly tweeting. Now

16:30

it's quote, Ukraine is holding

16:32

an American journalist hostage. This is

16:34

a disgrace. And why is the Biden administration

16:37

opening up the checkbook without any accountability?

16:40

Boy, when you can push more than one lie

16:42

per sentence in a tweet, you are

16:45

a pro jd Vance. There's

16:47

accountability. There's also no such

16:49

thing as quote opening up the checkbook

16:52

without any accountability. That sentence makes

16:54

no sense, Jdvance. Ukraine.

16:56

Also, Jdvance is not holding the guy hostage.

16:59

Jdvance. He's under arrest, Jdvance,

17:02

and he's not a journalist. Jdvance.

17:04

Other than that, you have summarized

17:06

the story precisely. Jdvans.

17:10

The man's name is Gonzalo Lira. He's

17:12

a YouTuber and he went into

17:15

Ukraine in the middle of an invasion of Ukraine

17:17

by Russia, and he went into the war zone and

17:19

he began asking Ukrainian citizens,

17:22

you're getting bombed nightly and not in a

17:24

good sense, and Ukrainian

17:26

military people about what this guy calls

17:28

the false narrative because

17:31

he says he's in Russia, not someplace called

17:33

Ukraine. And the other false narrative that Russia

17:35

did anything wrong. And guess what, in any

17:37

country in the history of the world under invasion,

17:40

you can be arrested for siding

17:42

with the you know, invading bombing

17:45

guys holding him

17:47

hostage. Jdvans, you're

17:50

holding common sense hostage. Jdvans.

17:52

Also pro tip,

17:56

the beard makes you look five hundred

17:58

pounds dude. The

18:00

runner up, Victorious Sparks, the lame

18:02

duck congress person from Indiana, born

18:05

in Ukraine, but not quite

18:07

as smooth in English as say

18:10

President Zelenski. Miss Spartz

18:12

apparently got elected. And I say this as the

18:15

descendant of immigrants from everywhere from

18:17

Krackoff to Asat Lorraine. I

18:20

think she got elected because her constituents did

18:22

not know what the hell she was saying, and they

18:24

just assumed it was good conservative gibberish.

18:27

The House Judiciary Committee did not exactly

18:29

cover itself in glory in examining

18:31

Merrick Garland yesterday. Mainly

18:34

the problem was that nobody asked any

18:36

questions. They just made speeches they could play

18:39

to their audience to assure that they wouldn't be primary.

18:41

I mean, I'm surprised none of them said is

18:43

tape rolling? But Spartz

18:46

was the only one who rendered Merrick Garlands

18:48

speechless when she asked, quote, are

18:51

you aware that a lot of Americans are now

18:53

afreight of being prosecuted

18:56

by her department? Are you aware

18:58

about that? Are you aware of that?

19:01

I'm just saying, are you aware or not? Now?

19:05

I think I know what the question actually is there, But

19:08

I would note that, yes, this is the first time

19:11

anybody in the history of the United States was ever

19:13

discomfited by the thought that

19:15

they might be prosecuted by the Department

19:17

of Justice. Oh

19:20

no, I'm being investigated by the Department

19:22

of Joe. Let's have a party. Christ,

19:25

how stupid that woman is. But

19:28

our winner, Little Jimmy O'Keefe, the

19:30

con man behind Project Veritas.

19:32

But remember he was the con man

19:34

with a song in his heart. He

19:36

took all of his little propaganda

19:39

and slander outfits money and he invested

19:41

it in musicals in which he

19:43

could star seriously.

19:46

Then they kicked him out. Then his successor

19:48

as CEO, Hannah Giles, fired everybody.

19:51

Now she's announced the entire outfit has

19:53

closed, suspended operations,

19:57

all investigations halted. The

19:59

reason for the demise of Project

20:02

Veritas quote

20:04

financial ruin unquote. But

20:07

they do leave a pristine record. In thirteen years,

20:10

they did not do one ethical or honest

20:12

thing. But now

20:14

comes the real question, who will

20:16

think about the revival of Oklahoma?

20:18

They didn't know they were funding that Jimmy O'Keefe

20:21

was starring in. Won't somebody think of Oklahoma?

20:23

Won't somebody think of Curly? How

20:25

could it be? Oh what a beautiful morning if they have to

20:27

sell the surrey with the fringe on the top, Oh

20:32

keith Homa, where the bankruptcy comes sweeping

20:34

down the pane, and the running

20:36

feet of those feeling heat when

20:39

the cops come right behind the rain. You're

20:42

doing fine, Jimmy o'keef holma

20:45

oh Keith Homa oive.

20:50

I should have called Nancy about that, shouldn't I? Jimmy

20:53

O'Keefe. Also, before they go under,

20:56

they should change the name of the thing to project in

20:58

Vino Veritas two days,

21:01

worse person in the world

21:14

and through the number one story on the countdown and

21:16

my favorite topic, me and things I promised

21:18

not to tell. I hear

21:20

this question about Rudy Giuliani

21:23

a lot. When did his

21:25

life go so horribly horribly

21:28

wrong? Here was America's

21:30

mayor the rock in the

21:32

hours of crisis, after nine to eleven.

21:35

What is he now? After literally

21:37

years of trying to sell the Hunter Biden laptop

21:40

story? Who does the Hunter Biden laptop

21:42

story bite him? Four

21:46

seasons gardening, the

21:48

mascara running down his face, gashes

21:51

emissions at phony election hearings,

21:53

the Sasha Baron Cohen film.

21:57

I mean, even back then, I

22:00

thought it was nuts that people actually thought Rudy

22:02

Giuliani was the front runner for the two

22:04

thousand and eight Republican presidential nomination.

22:06

What he was widely held to be just

22:09

that in two thousand and six, In two thousand

22:11

and seven, and by the time

22:14

it happened, he was already on

22:16

his way to spending millions of dollars

22:18

to finish last. But it

22:21

was the final nail in the coffin in which

22:24

he still lives. At a Democratic

22:26

debate in two thousand and seven, October thirtieth,

22:28

before the field shook out everybody but Obama

22:31

and Hillary, one of the other candidates

22:33

was excoriating the Republicans and their

22:35

exploitation of terrorism and the al

22:37

Qaeda attacks, and that other candidates

22:40

said of Giuliani, quote, there's

22:42

only three things he mentions in a sentence,

22:45

A noun, a verb, and nine

22:47

to eleven. The candidate

22:50

was Joe Biden. The phrase

22:52

a noun, a verb and nine to eleven ended

22:55

Rudy Giuliani's career, and Giuliani's

22:57

dislike of Joe Biden, many

22:59

decades old, turned to hatred at

23:02

that exact moment, which is why we

23:04

got to where we got to in twenty

23:06

and twenty. That

23:08

was also the exact moment at which any hopes Julianni

23:11

had of being elected anything anywhere

23:14

ever again vanished. But

23:17

it was clear to me as far back as September

23:20

two thousand and one that's Sadly, what we

23:22

saw at that time was a bad man having

23:24

a few good days before

23:26

that month was out. Giuliani's response

23:28

to the attack on democracy was

23:30

to himself attack democracy,

23:33

to propose that the November election to choose

23:36

his successor to be mayor of New

23:38

York should be postponed, or

23:40

that at least he should stay on for a few

23:42

months as co mayor because

23:46

he was irreplaceable. There

23:48

had always been more subtle hints that

23:51

Giuliani was never a good man, just a slightly

23:54

smarter one, a more devious one.

23:56

The venomous Rudy, the scheming Rudy,

23:58

the a moral Rudy, the

24:01

Rudy with a bad song in his heart,

24:04

leaked out from time to time, and often

24:06

inside the world of sports, which is where I

24:08

met him. You will remember,

24:11

Rudy Giuliani was a professional New

24:13

York Yankees fan. He always

24:15

went to the games for free, mind

24:18

you, dugout seats for himself, his

24:20

wife, his other wife, his

24:22

next wife, the kids, the

24:25

friends. When I still had friends

24:27

at Yankee Stadium, they estimated Rudy used

24:29

to cost them thousands of dollars every

24:31

time he showed up. He always

24:34

left via the clubhouse. He always

24:36

wore a Yankees cap. He

24:39

billed himself as quote the number one Yankee

24:41

fan. And then when the Boston Red Sox

24:44

were playing in the two thousand and seven World Series,

24:46

when he was campaigning for president in New Hampshire,

24:48

Rudy Giuliani suddenly announced he was rooting

24:51

for the Red Sox. This is

24:53

like being a Trump fan and announcing

24:55

you are rooting for democracy. But

25:00

I went back with Rudy Giuliani even

25:02

longer than that. Nineteen

25:05

ninety five or nineteen ninety six, I was asked

25:07

by the Deputy Mayor of New York City,

25:09

Fran Writer, and the staff of the Baseball

25:12

Hall of Fame to travel from

25:14

ESPN in Connecticut, literally to the

25:17

steps of New York City Hall to

25:19

mc an event for what must have been

25:22

thirty five members of the Baseball

25:24

Hall of Fame, maybe the largest

25:26

group of them ever assembled in one place

25:29

in one moment in time. The

25:31

Deputy Mayor approached me and

25:33

the Mayor a few steps behind her on that gorgeous

25:36

spring day. As she began to introduce

25:39

us, she realized he had begun to wander off.

25:42

Ruddy Ruddy, She

25:44

bellowed, he wandered back, Rudy,

25:46

this is Keith Olberman from ESPN. He's

25:48

going to be the MC. You will have to introduce

25:51

him after you speak. The mayor

25:53

seemed to be having trouble focusing on me or

25:56

anything else. I thought of the old

25:58

joke, just keep your eyes on the Olberman

26:01

in the middle. He extended

26:03

a hand, missed mine, then

26:06

recalibrated. As we shook

26:08

hands, he grunted. The

26:10

Deputy mayor now roared at him, Rody, you

26:13

have to introduce him. His name is Keith

26:15

Alderman from ESPN. He's

26:17

the MC. Giuliani

26:20

turned and looked at her like he'd

26:22

never seen her before. He grunted again.

26:25

Deputy Mayor writer now screamed

26:27

at Rudy Giuliani, repeat

26:30

it to me. He

26:33

looked at me, then he looked back at

26:35

her, and he said his

26:37

name is Keith Alderman from ESPN. He's

26:40

the MC. With annoyance. Writer

26:42

said thank you, and Juliani

26:45

smiled and wandered off again, And

26:48

I half seriously thought, did

26:51

I just meet a body double? Is

26:53

he a replicant? Is he a well

26:56

built robot? This can't

26:58

be the actual mayor? Well

27:01

it was. I took my seat in the front

27:03

row of the stage that had been built atop the City

27:05

Hall steps. As the crowd gathered, and it

27:07

was a good one, maybe three or four hundred people.

27:10

The President of the Hall of Fame spoke first.

27:13

The Mayor sat next to me. Giuliani

27:16

leaned in at one point and whispered to me, your

27:19

name is Keith Alderman from

27:21

ESPN. You're the MC.

27:24

I talk, I introduce you.

27:28

I said something encouraging, and

27:30

he smiled broadly like a child who

27:32

was about to get some candy. The

27:35

President of the Baseball Hall of Fame wrapped up introduced

27:38

Giuliani, who bounced up to the stage and thanked

27:40

him and got his name wrong.

27:43

He then launched into a speech taking credit

27:45

for the great weather in the terrific early season

27:47

performance of the New York Yankees and the New York Mets

27:50

and the Brooklyn Dodgers and the New

27:52

York Giants who had moved out of New York in

27:54

nineteen fifty seven. But if he had been mayor, then

27:57

they wouldn't have moved out in New York, would have the four

27:59

teams it deserves. And look at all these great players.

28:01

Will let me now turn it over to a good friend of mine

28:03

and a great baseball And he looked at me

28:06

and he forgot everything. Silence,

28:13

titters of laughter from the crowd, And

28:15

finally he looked the other way behind him,

28:18

where the Deputy Mayor had her head in

28:20

her hands. Rudy Giuliani

28:22

into a microphone that picked up everything. He

28:24

said, said loudly, what's

28:27

his name? Who is he? And

28:30

now the titters of laughter in the

28:32

crowd turned to a little bit louder

28:35

laughter, and some of the Hall of Fame players seated

28:37

behind me gave me pats of consolation

28:40

on my shoulder. Fran Ryder

28:42

screamed, Keith Alderman from me, ESPN

28:44

the MC you repeated it to me. Juliani

28:50

turned back to the crowd as if there had been no way

28:52

they could have heard or seen any of this, and

28:54

he said, so let me turn it over

28:56

to a good friend of mine and a great baseball

28:59

man, Keith Obolman

29:02

our NC from

29:06

ESPM. I

29:09

just sat there, more

29:12

laughs, more consolations

29:14

from the players behind me. I can still hear the laugh

29:16

of the late Detroit Tigers great

29:18

al Kayline rising above the others. Al

29:21

later came over to commiserate. As

29:23

I thought, should I get there and say thank

29:26

you Mayor Dinkins, or

29:29

better yet, thank you Mayor LaGuardia.

29:32

I then concluded, no, I can't

29:34

do that. I'm representing ESPN. I'm

29:37

representing the Baseball Hall of Fame. As

29:39

I thought that, he said it again. So

29:42

now I got up and I told the crowd sorry,

29:46

I wasn't sure he meant me. So

29:49

if you are saying to yourself, what

29:52

on earth happened to Rudy Giuliani

29:54

with that brown schitz pouring down his face,

29:56

I am saying to you he has been

29:59

this crazy for at least thirty

30:01

years. You were just lucky

30:03

enough to have not previously noticed.

30:06

It is all true. Or my

30:09

name ain't Keith Obelman, our

30:12

n C from ESPM.

30:28

I've done all the damage I can do here. Thank you for

30:30

listening. Countdown has come to you from the studios

30:32

of the Alderman Broadcasting Empire in

30:34

New York. The music

30:36

you've heard was, for the most part, arrange produced

30:38

and performed by Countdown musical directors Brian

30:40

Ray and John Phillip Chanel. Brian

30:43

Ray handled the guitars, bass and drums. John

30:45

Phillip s Chanel did the orchestration and keyboards

30:48

was produced by Tko Brothers. Other

30:50

music, including some Beethoven tunes, were

30:53

arranged and performed by No Horns Aloud.

30:56

Sports music is courtesy of ESPN,

30:58

Inc. And it was written by Mitch Warren Davis, And

31:00

we called the Olderman theme from ESPN

31:03

two. Our SETIIR and fifthy.

31:05

Musical comments are by Nancy Faust,

31:07

the best baseball stadium mor aganist ever. And

31:10

I'll announced you today was my friend Richard Lewis. Everything

31:12

else was pretty much my fault.

31:15

So that's countdown for this, the nine and eighty

31:17

ninth day since Donald Trump's first

31:20

attempt to coop against the democratically elected government

31:22

of the United States. Convict him now

31:25

while we still can. The next

31:27

scheduled countdown is tomorrow. If my throat

31:29

permits till then, I'm Keith Oldreman. Good

31:31

morning, good afternoon, good night, and

31:34

good luck. Countdown

31:42

with Keith Ouldreman is a production of iHeartRadio.

31:45

For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,

31:48

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31:51

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