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Visit meancomor.com/com. Okay,

2:06

let's get started. By

2:08

Michael J. Welcome to Conan O'brien

2:10

Needs of Sam Hey Michael J,

2:12

How are you? I'm great. How

2:14

are you? I'm doing terrific out.

2:16

where are you in the world

2:18

right now Michael J. I am

2:20

in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. Ah

2:22

same as spot where the Wright

2:24

Brothers first plane. To. Fly To

2:27

The Hawks! Oh you know I hate

2:29

to start our our our interview off

2:31

with a correction Conan but the history

2:33

books tell us that the Wright Brothers

2:35

flew into the yard. Dash. Whistling

2:37

Kill Devil Hills which is just south

2:39

of Kitty Hawk and the recent as

2:42

a T. August. The notoriety is that

2:44

there's no telegraph office in an income

2:46

level hills, so when faster they flew

2:48

the, I'd go up to Kitty Hawk,

2:50

send a telegram, and then I think

2:52

it's a Pr thing because Kitty Hawk

2:54

sounds much more aeronautical than Kill Devil

2:56

Hills. Okay, when it isn't Michael J,

2:58

you are dead to me now. Oh

3:01

no, that is the highlight guy you

3:03

crary me on. Now you corrected me

3:05

on American history. I'm humiliated as. Ah

3:07

lung and about Apis my Mother way it's an

3:10

amazing of now that they're not say I I

3:12

I that's fair. You seem to really know your

3:14

stuff and now I know something and you're right.

3:16

Notes: I do know that the absence of the

3:19

plane of the photograph of the plane flying say

3:21

Kill Devil Hill so ah yes you are correct

3:23

he didn't You stop me on that and know

3:25

that Best and test right now I panicked and

3:28

I just tried to make I don't think I've

3:30

ever seen a photo that says I ended up

3:32

for made it an Allied Act. I think I

3:34

think after you said it's it's Britain in and

3:37

it's. It's is now. I mean that that's

3:39

that's gospel. You know what? Michael J, you

3:41

went in thirty seconds for being dead to

3:43

me to being my best friend does a

3:45

lot because some you pay me that complement

3:47

of saying that anything here I wrote on

3:49

his gospel. Still, it's a little bit about

3:51

yourself. Michael J I like you. You got

3:54

great energy. I'm I'm quitting with you right

3:56

away. Would you do? What's your what's your

3:58

profession? Well I'm a retired clown. Circus

4:00

Clown. I'm new. Here

4:06

at Saddam and addicts. Hello retire and by

4:08

know I very much. I'm I'm I'm with

4:10

you Man I am. I feel the same

4:12

as I feel your pain. So you are.

4:15

You. Been a circus time for how

4:17

long? Ah, for twenty years now. So

4:19

started in two thousand and four and

4:21

it's amazing how and and I'm. With.

4:24

You train did you go to sound college?

4:26

did you you know what was what was

4:28

your back on? Had you get into clowning

4:30

I didn't are and I'm I'm going to

4:32

crack you again How Conan there's no such

4:35

thing as clown college like case where academic

4:37

institutions are clown cause that must be will

4:39

know of is really the Ringling Brothers or

4:41

training camp is my so it wasn't because

4:43

I not going to correct we're a what

4:46

narrow know your your practice called the a

4:48

Clown college by our people with no don't

4:50

I played an interest rate of i have

4:52

totally fine with and witnessing. You might say

4:54

that signed it correctly, but it turns out I

4:56

was. You. Just said I was correct.

4:58

I was dating a girl once in another

5:01

lifetime. Long time ago. This is weeks ago

5:03

and I'm getting. Many

5:06

many years ago was dating this. Woman

5:09

and. After. We

5:12

dated. She was working at the time

5:14

as a in As sports bar. And.

5:17

She was waiting tables and we dated

5:19

a little bit skog out then. Afterwards

5:21

she said i'm off and I said where

5:23

you going and she said i'm off to

5:26

clown college as he never mentioned anything about

5:28

that. And then I told some of the

5:30

other writers it as to now and they

5:32

started making lots of jokes about you know

5:34

before you went to bed at with her

5:37

would you take off your really long shoes

5:39

to see sometimes have to sweep up the

5:41

spotlight around the apartment. Ourselves

5:44

a mistake to mention that to

5:46

a bunch of Snl writers. Anyway,

5:48

out the best to imagine the

5:50

noises the my. Come out of a room of a.

5:56

highly a rod i guess where

5:58

i'm you just aroused me I'm

6:01

gonna say, hey, come on. Come

6:03

on. Yeah. I'm

6:06

sorry. The idea of

6:08

a clown doing it and making that noise, I think, is

6:10

one of my kinks. I want

6:12

to tell you something, Michael J. You seem like

6:14

you have a great sense of humor. You'd

6:16

be good at clowning. What kind of clown

6:18

were you? What was your persona? So, I

6:21

like to practice something I call benevolent

6:23

clowning. So, a lot of clowns are

6:25

kind of like real mischievous and are

6:27

gonna stick it to you. Pennywise.

6:32

Yeah. Pennywise. Yeah.

6:35

Pennywise. Pennywise, not a nice clown.

6:37

Malicious clown. Yeah. And

6:40

so, I tend to

6:42

be sort of a clown sort of from

6:44

the heart. I like

6:46

to find the idiocy, the idiocy

6:48

in a moment, and

6:51

sort of live in that. We

6:54

sit in the muck is a thing to clown

6:56

say a lot. Yeah. I

6:59

ascribe to that philosophy, which

7:01

is there are different

7:04

comedic schools. Some

7:06

comedians like to... I'm

7:08

the teller of truth. I'm above you telling you

7:10

about the world. I

7:13

like to be in the mud or the muck, as

7:15

you guys call it. I

7:17

like mostly the joke to be on me, but

7:20

also sometimes I like

7:23

it to be about Matt Gorley and Sonoma

7:25

session. I feel

7:27

like I'm pulling them down into the mud with me and rubbing

7:30

muck all over them. That's

7:32

my philosophy. I think it might have been Buster

7:34

Keaton who said the audience loves the slow thinker.

7:37

And so, I like to be a

7:39

slow thinker that has just a big

7:41

heart because I look like, and for

7:45

people listening, they won't be able to see me,

7:47

but I look like if a panda bear and

7:49

a human being merged into one. We

7:52

got in a fly teleportation

7:55

pod accident, the muck is

7:57

flipping to panda. That

8:00

bad sort of the claiming that I

8:02

sort of. I lead with that that

8:04

sir. It's as I like your philosophy.

8:06

I think it's very sweet and so

8:08

you've been a clown for a long

8:11

time and I'm and it sounds like

8:13

you've been successful entertaining people. Is that

8:15

pretty much the plan going forward? Or

8:17

is this something else you working on?

8:19

You know that's interesting. I am my

8:21

a lot of beautiful bosses have been

8:23

checked in my life in a rascal.

8:26

Very sore. Narrowly lucky to have no

8:28

lead to pass that. I have. And

8:30

so I'm not sure. I am really

8:32

on the lookout for something. Whatever.

8:34

His next and so recently I

8:37

became a certified death's Door. Oh

8:39

yes I do about it as yeah are

8:41

you familiar with a ah well I'm I'm

8:44

conjuring what I think it might be and

8:46

I may have been around at these are

8:48

people that when someone's passing when there are

8:50

is a desert do what they are for

8:52

the person who's dying or for the people

8:54

who are grieving both both of us army

8:57

or the the easiest way to describe it

8:59

is whereas a burst do less like midwives

9:01

and barstool as the of hours birth to

9:03

her helps in the and he helps in

9:05

the labor of birth my death do us

9:07

in the labor of death because. There is

9:10

a sequence of events that happens yeah

9:12

that you know last person who's in

9:14

the process, death and dying and it's

9:16

are. you know something. We can help

9:18

them in their journey. You can help

9:20

the families and their journey on. You

9:22

know you're there to help educate your

9:24

help. I no idea how somebody. Prepares.

9:27

For that or how you can learn

9:29

about that, I was around someone now

9:31

innocent. It tried to start with someone

9:33

who is very very old who was

9:36

passing on and I mean I think

9:38

close to one hundred is not a

9:40

hundred and they are passing on. It

9:42

was the first time I've been around

9:44

a death do us and I was

9:46

really impressed with the explanations they were

9:48

giving about what's happening and that is

9:50

very natural process. Obviously some time us

9:53

it's not a naturals someone's you know

9:55

I'm banks a false and then that's

9:57

not a natural process is funny. Yeah.

10:00

Where are you know happens but it is made

10:02

of natural materials? Example: yeah. But.by

10:05

in this. Scenario.

10:08

It blew my mind that

10:10

this person was so helpful.

10:13

And now and and just understood that this is

10:15

what's happening And as you know we have a

10:17

culture. That isolates us. From.

10:20

Das We scrub it clean. We we

10:22

don't. People used to when someone to

10:24

boost die all the time and they would have the

10:26

person in the casket. In the

10:28

house for three days in our before

10:30

they buried them. You have be present

10:33

now. It's all been taken care of.

10:35

An. End Sanitized. You're.

10:38

Correct Again, don't and right on the

10:40

spot cause it's ah. It's something that

10:42

we've gotten as a society. We've been

10:44

very separated from funeral rites. We don't

10:46

prepare the body anymore. we don't, you

10:48

know, put them in a casket with

10:51

not close to them. Basically, what's the

10:53

what's? our loved one dies Would they

10:55

you know, get handed off and then

10:57

we. You. Know they come back to

10:59

us. You know, either in or earned or

11:01

in a casket And then you know we've

11:03

put them in the ground. It's ah, it's

11:06

something England the biggest jobs have a desolate

11:08

is just to get death back in the

11:10

conversation. Nothing. As a society we tend to

11:12

eat you been at arm's length. We don't

11:14

even want to say the word death. In

11:17

fact, that so I'm a debate among gusto

11:19

as is silly because death dollars or end

11:21

of Life dollars. And I

11:23

think that's exactly the point is that we

11:25

we need to take know the power away

11:28

from where the stigma attached to wird das

11:30

right. In A we need to make their

11:32

censoring the words to say i'm a life's

11:34

Not any more. Way

11:38

your why I'm a good

11:40

times lice. Ah, over

11:42

now a counsellor? yeah which which

11:44

is just silly string be guy

11:46

like I'm not not that's what

11:49

you are so that I get

11:51

your hired. I've got some bad

11:53

news. Ah

11:56

well as running out his money

11:58

out person. Yeah yeah

12:01

my. Ending. I. Very

12:03

much I'm concerned. I want to. Oh, I

12:05

want to do whatever is best for the

12:08

people around me. when my time comes and

12:10

goes out about when the tub before your

12:12

time cups no smoke that ahead of ourselves

12:14

as when I was Michael J. as I

12:16

once ah. And once some sort

12:18

of in a. Weekend. At Bernie's

12:21

kind of way. I want my body to be

12:23

around for a couple of weeks. When

12:26

I wanna be brought to parties and stuff

12:28

so that people really get the idea that

12:30

like she's gone and it eases the transition

12:32

for everyone else. And. I get the party.

12:34

I get the party. A. New. Your

12:36

dad will still I get so light

12:38

you know? Yeah says the

12:41

sunglasses. On what his own and I have

12:43

never you to bars around and are smart it

12:45

out of forget would weaken a breeze was his

12:47

glasses on kind of size or yes yeah yup

12:49

and then up the the thing about that and

12:51

I am I know that we were talking about

12:54

very serious topic Michael dates for a second us

12:56

to weekend at Bernie's yet and you're a death

12:58

expert and I think I wanna get your opinion

13:00

of didn't mistake they made in that movie is

13:02

that when people die they don't become sloppy Germany's

13:05

trust and if I death for days and he's

13:07

just as sloppy dummy so that the time he

13:09

works. When. In reality, they should do a

13:11

remake of Weekend at Bernie's. Where. The

13:13

body. A decomposes in the natural

13:15

way that they deny the same guy rigor

13:18

mortis on everything, right? Yes, private. I went

13:20

and had to drinking. Ah well

13:22

with not get out about ah okay and

13:24

i don't want to depress smells a my

13:26

body will be going on in a very

13:28

odorous very quickly. As

13:31

I said, when to die eating a massive amount of

13:33

onions and silly such. About

13:47

the environment and his strong values they

13:49

stand behind. Plus. Scottish. Faysal

13:51

tissues of super soft, strong, an absorbent.

13:54

And easy on the wallet. When.

13:56

He got. Allergies are just a case

13:58

of the sniffles. The On Studies

14:00

facial tissue seat and stop wiping your nose

14:03

on your sleeve. Isn't that disgustingly people do

14:05

that Sona. I just don't like that. No,

14:07

I don't like it either. I liked I

14:09

liked to wipe my nose on your sleeves.

14:11

open up my sleeves. yellow. My sleeves is

14:14

made of studies tissues so that I. I

14:17

wonder that's a very cool fashion statement?

14:19

A And stop offering guests toilet paper

14:21

to blow their nose into. That's disgusting

14:23

enema. Scotty's facial tissue instead you can

14:25

find studies thesis is that come in

14:28

beautiful Bucks designs put one in every

14:30

room. Why not make your just feel

14:32

like a king or queen if someone

14:34

offers me a tissue. Sometimes people said

14:36

I'm economy to like a tissue I

14:38

say is it Scotty's. And if

14:40

it's not, I just swatted away. Ah,

14:42

okay, Scotty's is better at what counts.

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For more information, visit

14:47

Scotty spatial.com. I

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did. You

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know me, so know the drill up. Yeah,

16:00

some nice beef every now and then. I'm

16:02

a I'm a grill master Physicists or sometimes

16:04

the grill Maestro depends on which country are

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in. Say oh, it's no one's called. When

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I'm grown stuff up, I need my Miller

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More like delivered right to your door. Visit

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six hours performances. Doctoral

17:02

to was like no other course to

17:04

for twenty four speed Recently lot of

17:06

such stress suffer that driver go for

17:08

maximum acceleration of the stars as a

17:11

basket of short straightaway, a push from

17:13

zero to seventy for the first vertical

17:15

speedway. What about the rollbacks? Rollback of

17:18

such a for an explosive reverse climb.

17:20

Four hundred Twenty three disguise zero total

17:22

weightlessness. Four hundred twenty feet of stories

17:24

of speaks. Let's get it. So thrilled

17:27

the was thousand fast stripper Last radicals.

17:38

Now. Thinking about after you die how I would

17:40

want you to distill be here so we

17:42

could still get paid. You imply cast that

17:44

with as. The weekend at Bernie's yeah which is

17:47

yes I'm And then you keep doing a tone

17:49

of voice and jostling. they will not make all

17:51

the past footage is a theory planet. Hey

17:54

Tony! how is a week and.

17:58

Ah, Gotcha! Nevertheless, I'm

18:01

Conan O'brien. Nevertheless,

18:04

I'm going on Brian Such

18:06

a car is a can't

18:08

be a surface, the well

18:10

being of never the other

18:12

one. Bingo on Conan O'brien

18:14

hello I'm Toner was given

18:16

and never once to determine

18:19

the workaround. His muscles only.

18:21

New guys you know, work.

18:23

I'm the sign. Like I

18:25

said, I'm not dead

18:28

or whatever. Do observer?

18:30

Yeah. It's

18:32

embarrassing. But. My.

18:34

Headset corps got tangled

18:36

around. My. Chair.

18:39

Within wheels and as I was

18:41

talking to you. He. Was

18:43

pulling my had set off and I was

18:45

getting pulled lower and lower. sustained. I've got

18:47

no, was wrong, you dies and arms I

18:50

I was a near death experience Habit a

18:52

near death do as someone who can talk

18:54

with your hands of near death because I

18:56

think I almost bought it right there. Michael.

18:59

Do well to be someone who comes and

19:01

like scares you almost to death like and

19:03

and gives you different scenarios. Where did you

19:06

know it almost die as he much lesser

19:08

know my Monday or not you ever find

19:10

a and maybe you haven't done it for

19:12

that long. but and is another very serious

19:15

topic. But will you ever

19:17

use your clowning skills as a desk to?

19:19

it was as good ever come out of

19:21

the for. Maybe people are really sad your

19:23

body don't be too sad. My.

19:28

Lines. Well

19:33

maybe if it's a family of clowns.

19:36

yeah that's right. seventy five of them

19:38

step out of one or set me

19:40

on like that a that that's that's

19:42

going to be you know as a

19:44

when that happens I'll have one was

19:46

like a I'm a big believer that

19:48

world Slider Schumer when your humor are

19:50

constantly and and that my reaction to

19:53

death a lot is just go with

19:55

jokes right away to the grieving. family

19:57

members often at the accident scene Ryan

20:00

ease the pain. Okay. You're the first

20:02

responder sometimes even before the ambulance. Yeah,

20:04

and they'll say this could easily be

20:07

saved. If you just do some

20:09

simple CPR and I'm like CPR? What's that stand

20:11

for anyway? Cookies?

20:14

Pray lean? And rutabagas?

20:17

What's going on here? He is this

20:19

weekend at Conan. Are

20:22

you dead now? I am dead. I

20:25

don't know what's wrong, Michael J. You've

20:27

taken us through. You go down the weekend

20:30

at Conan's street. Two

20:32

things. One is I feel like modern technology

20:34

has to be able to give us a

20:37

way to keep the bodies loose for at

20:39

least a few months after death. And be

20:41

able to wear a Caribbean shirt. Yeah. Right.

20:45

And have a group of bunraku

20:47

puppeteers like three or four come

20:49

in and operate you. Second

20:52

thing is my hope is that somehow modern

20:54

technology and science gives us the ability to

20:56

do what they did in Weekend at Bernie's

20:58

2. Which is there

21:00

was the sort of voodoo. That's

21:03

right. And do you remember this? Well, I never

21:05

watched it. The minute I heard there was a weekend at Bernie's

21:07

2, I tried to shoot myself. But

21:11

someone wrestled the gun away from me and I

21:13

was saying. But no, but you

21:15

stood in line. You stood

21:17

in line. You

21:20

stood in line for

21:22

a ticket and just you weekend at Bernie's

21:24

2. Is that true, Michael J.? You

21:26

did. Absolutely. Did you see

21:28

Mannequin 2 on the move? No. I

21:31

did not know there was a mannequin. Why are you bringing

21:33

Mannequin into it? It seems like a similar idea. No. Was

21:36

there a mannequin too? Yeah. Same people

21:38

in it? I think it's just no, not

21:40

the main guy. I think it

21:42

was just the guy who's the like, is it?

21:44

Wow, you're all over this one. Well, I didn't

21:46

expect to be grilled, Senator. Oh, excuse me. Then

21:49

why don't you introduce Mannequin 2 if you did

21:51

not have the facts at your fingertips? I, uh... This

21:54

committee finds you guilty. I just

21:56

can't believe the first weekend at Bernie's

21:58

is still something that's... He

22:01

had sex with a woman. Wait,

22:03

the dead guy? Do you guys remember? No, we

22:05

can't. Yeah, the mom, Fosse's wife

22:08

or girlfriend, you remember this Eduardo, goes

22:11

upstairs and then they just hear like

22:13

squealing and they're looking at each

22:15

other like, is she going to feel like she's dead?

22:19

She's dead and she had

22:21

sex with him. So necrophilia is

22:23

a plot point. I want the list.

22:25

Can the listeners please tell me if this is

22:27

true? Does a woman have

22:30

sex with a dead body in

22:32

Weekend at Thurney? Well, I thought we did. I can

22:34

consult Google. I can confirm that. She does. Yeah,

22:37

if you were there for number two, then... No,

22:40

that was in one. I think that was in one. The

22:42

sex happened in one. The sex happened in the first one.

22:45

I love that we got you off

22:47

of your noble death doula profession into

22:50

the muck. Talk about the muck. We

22:52

are in the swamp of idiocy right now.

22:55

All right, Eduardo, what do you got to

22:57

say? You told me ahead of time. Yeah,

22:59

there's a parent's guide. There's a sex annuity

23:01

parent's guide for Weekend at Thurney because of

23:03

the sex scene with his corpse. Yes. Wow,

23:06

so it's necrophilia for her but not for him. Well,

23:09

he's dead. I know. It's nothing for

23:11

him. Well, it's like vitaphilia.

23:14

It's sex with a live person. Yeah. Right,

23:17

but he is senseless, insensate. He

23:19

has moved on. Senator, you're out of order.

23:22

Okay. I don't know

23:24

what happened here, but boy did

23:26

they used to make what happened to the good old

23:28

movies. I know. Back

23:30

in the 80s they knew how to make them. Remember

23:32

new water skis too? Yeah. And he keeps

23:34

hitting the buoys on the head river? Yeah. Classic

23:37

movie. And at no point does his

23:40

corpse start to swell or

23:42

verbal. At no point are

23:44

there various emanations. Oh,

23:47

I think there are. Water skiing and

23:50

he got waterlogged. He never swelled. Okay.

23:53

I don't understand. Michael J. Sorry,

23:55

Michael J. What have we done? I'm not sure if

23:58

you know how much I love this movie. What

24:00

happened in the second one? I think we do. We're going to

24:02

talk about it. In the second one, and

24:04

we'll get back to how you... No, we won't.

24:06

No, how you comfort the dead and dying. We'll

24:09

get back to that. We're out of time. But

24:11

we can hit Bernie's... No, no. We're making time

24:13

for this. We can hit

24:15

Bernie's too. Does it take place

24:17

like a day later? I

24:20

think it happens over the course of

24:22

about a week. Right? You know, he's...

24:24

And then Voodoo allows him, the corpse,

24:27

to be reanimated. And the

24:29

queue... Oh, no. That happens much later, I

24:31

think. It's... I'm not sure what the time

24:33

frame between weekend of Bernie's one and two

24:35

is, but... Why did you call in to

24:37

this show if you don't have the correct

24:39

information on weekend at Bernie's one versus weekend

24:42

at Bernie's two? Ed Prado, can you give

24:44

us the Platonopsis of weekend of Bernie's two?

24:46

Yeah. Platonopsis. It's a long plot. That's okay.

24:48

We've got time. I

24:51

hope no one's dying in the next room, Michael J.

24:54

Help me! I'm scared! Shut up! I'm almost

24:56

done and we're talking about weekend at Bernie's

24:59

two. That's equal. Please help me! It's

25:01

a terrible movie. Please. Good movie! I

25:05

didn't see it! I'll give you the

25:07

short one. After witnessing the murder of

25:09

their corrupt boss, Bernie Lomax, Larry Wilson,

25:11

and Richard Parker are blamed for Bernie's

25:13

embezzlement and fired. Desperate to

25:16

find the stolen $2 million and clear

25:18

their names, the pair learns the fortune

25:20

was hidden in the Virgin Islands and

25:22

travels there in pursuit. Meanwhile, Bernie's corpse

25:24

is partially revived in a voodoo ceremony

25:27

by gangsters also looking for the money.

25:29

Well, the walks

25:31

that Bernie does he's revived is hilarious.

25:33

I remember that. Like he sort of

25:35

comes up and then he kind of

25:38

just squats and does this like sort

25:40

of half. It's hard to describe,

25:42

but you just got to watch it and the smirk on his

25:44

face is still there. And he just walks and he's

25:46

animated. So he doesn't have to have operators,

25:48

you know, operating in this time like in

25:50

one. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

25:53

Well, Michael J. You

25:56

have completely disqualified yourself. I

26:00

don't know, you're hired. And,

26:03

uh, I mean, if I'm on

26:05

my death bed and Michael J is distracting

26:07

me with Weekend at Bernie's 2, that's mission

26:09

accomplished, I think. You know, I

26:11

do think you should talk about this with the next

26:13

person who's moving on to the next plane. Absolutely. Maybe

26:16

this would be a great topic, or maybe screen it.

26:18

Screen it for them, one and two. You don't realize

26:20

this is not a podcast episode. He's on as your

26:22

death doula right now. Oh! Right.

26:25

Good at time as any is right now. Yeah. I

26:27

have a bottle of good Pinot Noir and

26:29

a good pizza margarita, which is right down the

26:31

street. Mm-hmm. And then

26:34

I want to watch the Godfather 1 and 2. Then I want to watch Weekend at Bernie's

26:36

1 and 2. There it is!

26:38

Then I want someone to find a cure for whatever I have, but

26:40

still drink all the wine and eat the pizza. And

26:43

then we're going to Weekend at Bernie's you. Yeah. No,

26:45

no, I'm cured because of the cure they found. Oh, no, you're dead.

26:47

You died. You did. Yeah,

26:49

you don't. Never. You can't

26:51

happen. Never? Too big a star. Too

26:54

big a star. America won't stand for

26:56

it. I'm not using voodoo. Michael J.,

26:58

do you have a question for me before I

27:00

go? Yeah. So,

27:03

you know, a lot of my professional career has

27:05

been as a clown. Mm-hmm. I

27:07

feel like you are, if not, you

27:09

know, clown. And certainly clown

27:11

adjacent. But

27:13

have you ever for a, you know,

27:16

feet first all the way in to clowning?

27:18

And if you have or if you are

27:21

interested in doing that, what would your clown

27:23

name be and what kind of clown do

27:25

you mean? Are you clown curious? I am

27:27

clown curious. Yes. I am not only

27:29

clown adjacent, I'm clown curious. I've often

27:31

thought that I am a clown in that

27:34

that is my natural state. My

27:37

favorite audience is kids. I

27:39

love to make kids laugh. And to me, that's the true

27:41

test if you're a clown or not, is

27:43

can you make kids laugh? And

27:46

I work real, I mean, if I

27:48

had trouble with so-and-his twins, because they

27:50

are tough kids who come

27:52

from a tough, broken home. They're

27:54

really, they laugh at everything else. But

27:57

anyway, I got them to that place. All they do is

27:59

laugh. I think I would not overdo it on

28:01

the makeup. I don't think I need to. I

28:03

think I'm clownish already. I think I

28:06

would slightly exaggerate what I have. And

28:08

I think I'd be more of like the Chaplin

28:10

Keaton School of Clown. I think I

28:12

would wear, and I think I would do a lot of

28:14

physical comedy, which at my age is very dangerous and

28:17

would quickly lead to my death. I

28:19

think my name would just be Conan, because that's

28:22

the best, that is my clown name. You

28:24

think about it. A great clown name. I

28:27

was thinking about this and I was trying to think

28:29

of something that is, like

28:32

long and skinny and red, no, Gene, like

28:34

you. Oh, okay. And I was thought of

28:36

Twizzlers. Twizzlers, I'm a Twizzler. Twizzles,

28:39

twizzles. Twizzles is not bad. Twizzles is the

28:41

clown. Or also, I feel like Moko would

28:43

be like, that's a pitch down the middle

28:45

of the plate, right? Yeah, it's too much.

28:48

Everyone, yes. It's right there on the

28:50

nose, but Twizzles feels like a good,

28:52

Twizzles is pretty good. I'm also beef

28:55

jerky, jerk, fucking

28:58

jerk. Fucking jerk. Fucking

29:01

jerk. Hey,

29:03

kids, happy birthday. Here's a fucking jerk. Hi,

29:06

fuck it. Hey,

29:09

is that your face? Did

29:11

you get hit in the

29:13

face? Look at the shine box, you mutt. Go

29:16

get your shine box. Are

29:18

these the kids? Yeah, no, I'm the clown.

29:20

Oh, you're the clown. I'm talking. You thought

29:23

the kids were saying get your shine box.

29:25

Yeah, no, I'm a mutt prick. That's

29:27

me as, go screw, that's me as the

29:30

clown. Fuck

29:32

you, jerk. Hi,

29:34

hi, kids. What a

29:36

shitty party. Enjoy

29:38

the cake, no one lives long. Your

29:41

parents don't love each other. Can

29:43

you do anything, clown? Balloon animal?

29:46

No, screw you, no. What's

29:49

gonna happen? I'm in a union, I want a union.

29:53

I'm a shop steward. I'm

29:56

not waving Until I Get a hundred dollars in

29:58

cash. That it was for

30:00

you? Feel me either? Of

30:04

our at Michael J on Eternal Career in

30:06

your instincts are straight on a man Europe

30:08

and you are correct again Michael J It

30:10

was nice talking to you and I something

30:13

you doing your good work in you to

30:15

I think that me my bout you say

30:17

like the idea that gifts. Conan

30:20

O'brien needs a friend with Conan

30:22

O'brien soda most Se and and

30:24

mack course since by me Mad

30:27

Gourley Executive produced by Adam Sachs

30:29

Nuclei and Jeff Ross A Team

30:31

Cocoa and Common Anderson and Closer.

30:37

To me dizzy. And

30:42

Supervising producers Errand Boy and are associate

30:45

producers Jennifer Said Engineering by Eduardo. Progress

30:47

Additional Production Support My Mars Moment, Tell

30:49

and Looking But Holiday This, Gina Dejesus

30:52

and Britpop. You can rate and review

30:54

this show on Apple podcasts and you

30:56

might find your review read on a

30:59

future episodes. Got a question for Conan

31:01

called a team so go Hotline at

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Six six nine five eight seven four

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31:13

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31:15

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