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Sounds. Music, radio, podcasts.

0:53

This is One Person Found This Helpful

0:55

with your host, Frank Skinner. Hello,

1:01

yes, I'm Frank Skinner and welcome to One

1:03

Person Found This Helpful, the show where we

1:05

look at online reviews and just to get

1:07

us started is a nice positive review we

1:10

found from one satisfied customer who said, I

1:13

was pepper sprayed in the

1:15

face point blank by the

1:17

Cambridge, Massachusetts City Police at

1:20

a weapons manufacturer protest. And

1:23

my Mac liquid last 24 hour

1:25

waterproof eyeliner stayed on. So

1:29

please welcome our four star panel

1:31

on my left is Jessica Foster

1:33

Q and Simon Evans. And

1:38

on my right, Ahia Shah and Amy

1:40

Gledhill. So

1:44

this being a show all about reviews, I want to

1:46

ask the panelists what's the worst or best? I'm

1:48

happy with best review you've ever had,

1:51

starting with Jessica. OK, well, my favorite

1:53

was a short review. Obviously didn't like

1:55

the show. And my favorite line in

1:58

this really very damning review said. but

2:00

at least she managed to keep talking for the

2:02

full 60 minutes. Ooh. As

2:07

if at least I managed not just to

2:09

turn to silence and dust. Yeah,

2:11

that meant wins. It went like a stand-up

2:13

show, more like a filly bus. Yeah. That's

2:16

cruel. What's your worst review,

2:19

Simon? Erm, I've had quite a few,

2:21

27 years in the business

2:23

now. I remember Simon Evans

2:25

strikes me as clubbable, in both

2:27

senses of the world. So,

2:31

ah, here. Tell us about your terrible

2:33

reviews. Well, I think that, as you

2:35

all know, working in the arts in

2:38

any regard, there's lots of it not

2:40

being taken particularly seriously as a profession,

2:42

lots of, oh, and you make a

2:44

living for that, do you? And lots

2:47

of disbelief generally. My favourite moment

2:49

came when a few years ago I was going

2:51

on Newsnight. I was very excited to be going

2:53

on Newsnight, so I wore my suit, I put

2:55

on my suit, I felt really good, I looked

2:57

in the mirror and thought, I looked pretty sharp

2:59

in my suit. And my then-girlfriend walked into the

3:01

room and said, wow, and I was like,

3:03

yeah, yeah, exactly, right? And she said, you

3:05

really look like you have a job. That

3:11

gives us a little insight into the

3:14

phrase then-girlfriend. What

3:17

about you, Amy? I put a clip

3:19

up when I was really new on

3:21

YouTube, and now I know

3:23

you turn the notifications off, right? But I didn't know

3:25

that at the time, so I put a clip up,

3:28

and in the stand-up I was talking about being single,

3:30

and it went ping, and he had a

3:32

notification, someone had commented, and it was this

3:34

guy, and he said, no

3:37

wonder she's single, she weighs 100lb, right?

3:41

But that's seven stone. LAUGHTER

3:46

Just seven stone, right? And

3:48

the list is at home, and what

3:50

your mum would describe as bubbly and

3:52

your dad would describe as curvy. LAUGHTER

3:56

And then it pinged again, right? And it was the

3:58

same guy, and he went, no! double

4:00

that. And

4:03

I was like, alright, 14 stone, I'll

4:05

take that. And then it pinged again and

4:07

then he went, no,

4:12

I meant more than that and then this other

4:14

person who I don't know commented and just went,

4:16

mate, what are you doing? And

4:19

he deleted the whole thing and I thought that

4:21

was brilliant. He

4:23

was sort of like an abuse poacher.

4:25

And ends up just accidentally mass shaming

4:27

himself. Yeah. Of course reviews don't always

4:30

come from reviewers. In my very early

4:32

days I was on the Des O'Connor

4:34

chat show. It was quite a thrill

4:36

to be on a big mainstream show.

4:38

I said to my sister in lodge,

4:40

you see me on the Des O'Connor

4:42

show. She said, I saw the first

4:44

part. No,

4:47

I can forgive the last part, but

4:50

not the first. Yeah. So anyway,

4:52

well done. And it's great that

4:54

you can all laugh about it

4:56

now. Okay. The first round is

4:58

called, what did I buy? Online

5:00

shopping is a brilliant thing. How

5:02

else could you buy an exercise

5:04

bike that after two months magically

5:06

turns into a clothes horse? I'm

5:08

going to give each team two

5:10

reviews of something you can buy

5:12

online and ask them to work

5:14

out what that thing is. If they

5:17

can't get it after that, I'll give them

5:19

a third review, but then they only get

5:21

one point not two. So we'll start with

5:23

Jessica and Simon. Here's your first review. Colorful,

5:27

but could do with being a bit longer.

5:31

Well, presumably it's some sort of sex

5:33

aid, isn't it? I, I

5:35

mean, we might as well just go right on the

5:37

nose there. I'm not familiar with all of the brands.

5:39

There's this one that's, don't

5:43

you read which I

5:47

don't know what it is. What sort of

5:49

online activity precipitated this, but I do often

5:51

now get interrupted with a series of little

5:53

box things. One of which I think is

5:55

one of these rabbits, which I believe is,

5:57

they're popular. I mean, they're not very long

5:59

though. They, they're kind of. of surface manipulation

6:01

rather than... Wow. Yeah.

6:05

My good... I think potentially

6:07

the most erotic radio story. Simon,

6:10

this is a side of you I haven't seen. I've

6:14

overcompensated. This is what always happens. In my

6:16

first thought, colorful but could do have been

6:18

a bit longer. I thought it might be

6:20

one of those rainbows that don't quite reach

6:22

the ground. You went

6:25

sex-aid. Yeah. To

6:28

be fair to Simon, colorful but could do with having

6:30

been a bit longer is what my wife said the first

6:32

time she saw me make it. Well,

6:37

let me give you a second

6:39

clue. I make homemade sweets and

6:41

ideally wanted one color for each

6:43

flavor. Only works on

6:45

tiny batches. We'll be looking for

6:48

larger ones. Hot sugar is not

6:50

funny. Well,

6:54

that's definitely lost. Whereas cold sugar, I don't know

6:56

about you, but cracks me up. Hot

7:00

sugar is definitely one of the brands I'm familiar with. I

7:05

feel like some kind of confectionery is being

7:07

extruded, but I don't know, like

7:09

a seaside rock making machine or something.

7:12

Here's your third review. I can

7:15

now stir, mix and clean

7:17

bowls with a previously unrealized

7:20

rapidity. These are

7:22

a true marvel. I

7:24

mean, how often do you really need to

7:26

clean a bowl very quickly? The

7:28

last time I cleaned a bowl really quickly,

7:30

I was staying at a girlfriend's parents' house.

7:34

It's some kind of high-end,

7:36

like probably Italian-designed spatula.

7:39

It's a spatula. It's

7:41

a heat-resistant silicone rubber

7:44

spatula, no less, in a pack

7:46

of five, which I would

7:48

say is more spatulas than I will ever

7:50

use in my life. And again, I'm 67.

7:53

These shoes will probably never need replacement.

7:57

Okay, it's time for our hearing. Amen.

8:00

Remember you hear two reviews and then

8:02

you can have a go need the third

8:04

one. He only get one point So what

8:06

merited this review easy to

8:08

inflate takes a while to heat up if you

8:10

don't leave it on all the time Haven't

8:13

seen an electricity bill yet, but

8:15

loving it so far. Okay, it's

8:18

inflatable and heated Oh,

8:20

I like the sound of both of them things.

8:22

Yeah, it's like like a warm air bed

8:25

Which would actually be quite nice Right

8:28

if that doesn't exist yet none of you are allowed to

8:30

invent that Well,

8:33

what do you inflict balloons? Yeah economies

8:36

economy Waistline

8:38

fancy castle fancy castle. Oh, but

8:40

you want them that heated wouldn't you? You want that little

8:43

hot kids? Maybe

8:45

we need a second clue. Yeah, the air

8:47

jets are nice But there's only one setting

8:49

11 and you can't adjust it

8:52

So unless you want to continually fit in

8:54

a maelstrom, it's of limited use I'd

8:57

love to be able to turn it down

8:59

to sneaky fart But

9:04

brontosaurus after a feed of

9:06

beans is all that's available

9:10

I have to say full mark there not just for

9:12

using the word maelstrom, but for knowing that

9:14

a brontosaurus is a herbivore So,

9:20

what are you thinking? I

9:22

don't mean generally I mean on this That's

9:25

not my business Well, I mean I was

9:27

thinking when it started talking about jets and everything

9:29

and like oh i've not seen an electricity bill

9:31

yet But that's like I know lots of

9:33

people bought hot tubs over covid and those

9:35

were very expensive To run and

9:37

so I was thinking that maybe it might

9:39

be a hot tub. Well, you're absolutely right.

9:41

It's an inflatable hot tub Yes

9:46

inflatable hot tub a great way to tell

9:48

your neighbors you've got too much money But

9:51

also somehow not enough So

9:55

at the end of that round jessica and simon are

9:57

on one point and are here and amy are on

10:00

Okay,

10:04

this round is called the Reviewee

10:07

Bites Back. Now there's nothing

10:09

people enjoy more than going online and

10:11

giving a product or service a right-pasting,

10:13

but it can be scary if the

10:16

business responds. Of course you can always

10:18

then reply, I notice you're responding to

10:20

my critical Google review of your coffee

10:22

shop so it looks like you do

10:25

have Wi-Fi. So

10:28

in this round, panelists get to play a

10:30

small business and I'm going to give them

10:32

a real review and they get to answer

10:35

back and then we'll find out

10:37

what the actual owners really said.

10:39

Simon, you're on your

10:41

company website scrolling through reviews

10:43

and you suddenly see this,

10:46

tight on toppings on pizzas

10:48

and service very slow. So

10:50

how do you respond? Like

10:52

this, I would say congratulations

10:55

sir, you have apparently been

10:57

included in our new Preventative

10:59

Health Automated Portion Control Protocol.

11:03

Customers are monitored on entry

11:05

of the premises by a system of

11:07

discrete cameras to assess silhouettes, cheek colour

11:09

and under-cushion body weight determination scales, analyse

11:12

23 different health

11:14

indexes and adjust portion sizes

11:16

accordingly. In the event of

11:19

extreme cases, services also gently

11:21

slowed in order to allow

11:23

insulin resistance to normalise before

11:25

eating. That

11:30

is fabulous I must say. Would you

11:32

like to know what the real owner

11:34

responded? And this again I say is

11:36

absolutely genuine. I think it would

11:39

have been hard to predict this. Hello

11:41

Gene, we are an animal rehoming centre

11:43

and do not serve like this. Oh

11:50

my God, what did they eat? OK

11:54

next, Amy, you run a

11:56

lovely little travel business that offers something for

11:58

travellers wanting to eat. to experience the

12:01

best of the Scottish Highlands, so

12:03

you're upset to see this review

12:06

on TripAdvisor. Good driver but

12:08

bad guide who refused to speak

12:10

English. So you

12:12

would type in response? I'd

12:14

say, dear Sergeant, I'm

12:17

assuming you're part of the accent police? I

12:20

think I can see what's happened here.

12:22

One of our Scottish guides has used

12:24

their Scottish accent on a tour of

12:27

Scotland. Instead of the standard Kent

12:29

dialect we teach them in training. This is

12:32

totally unacceptable and as well as an

12:34

apology I'd like to pay for the dry

12:36

cleaning of the North Face Geeley you were

12:38

no doubt sick down. May

12:41

I suggest for your next

12:43

visit you stick to the beautiful

12:45

Scottish Isles of Ealing, Woking or

12:47

Kettering, you ignorant jobby. Well

12:51

the real response was this, hi

12:54

I am confused by your

12:56

review. All of our guide speak English

12:58

and our tours are conducted in English

13:00

as that is the native language of

13:02

Scotland. Are you referring to

13:04

his Scottish accent? Unfortunately there's nothing

13:06

I can do about that. That

13:10

is a totally real review.

13:13

Ahia this is a sad

13:15

story about a military historian

13:17

who signed up for a

13:20

so-called Full Monte tank driving

13:22

experience offered by a company

13:25

called Tanks-a-Lot. I'd

13:28

have gone for many tanks I

13:31

think. But this was the

13:33

review. The FV432 and FV433 Abbott armoured

13:37

fighting vehicles were repeatedly and consistently

13:40

described as tanks which although torreted

13:42

is not an accurate representation of

13:44

how these vehicles are used in

13:46

modern militaries being far lighter and

13:48

easier to operate than MBTs or

13:50

main battle tanks. How

13:53

would you reply to that? I

13:56

think I would say dear Colin you haven't mentioned

13:58

that your name is Colin but your death called

14:00

comments. I think it is worth

14:03

noting from the term that you have taken

14:05

throughout your comment that we are not actually

14:07

at war. You are fine, you are going

14:09

on this as a jolly, it's all fine.

14:11

If you want to drive an actual tank

14:13

I can put you in touch with a

14:15

very nice man called Zelensky who would love

14:17

a hat. The

14:19

actual man who runs... was

14:22

it called tanks for the memories? No,

14:25

tanks are. As

14:27

for an Abbott not being a

14:29

tank, I think the comedian

14:31

Ross Noble summed it up beautifully on

14:34

Top Gear. Clarkson asked him

14:36

about his new toy not actually

14:38

being a tank. His reply was,

14:40

trust me Jeremy, when you look

14:42

in your rearview mirror and see me

14:44

behind you, it's a tank. I

14:49

really resent that the biggest laugh of the night's gone

14:51

to a comic who isn't here. So

14:54

Jessica, you're busy running a

14:57

Chinese restaurant and you receive

14:59

this zinger from some... actually

15:01

that's okay, trust

15:04

me, you receive this zinger

15:06

from somebody called Megan. Salt

15:09

and pepper chicken was just shop-bought

15:11

breaded chicken and was very expensive.

15:13

I could have made that myself

15:15

for a quarter of the price.

15:18

How do you bite back? Like

15:20

this, dear Megan, sorry

15:23

you had such a terrible time. Please come again

15:25

so we can make a mend. This time we'll

15:28

hunt down and catch the chicken in front

15:30

of you, Megan. You can

15:32

watch as we freshly strangle and bludgeon it

15:34

to death for you, Megan, and rip its

15:36

feathers out live while you enjoy some free-form

15:39

cackers. Then as the chicken lies bleeding on

15:41

the counter, you can witness us punching and

15:43

ripping the bread down to crumbs for you

15:45

as well for the three to seven hours

15:47

that that will take. See you soon, we

15:50

hope it's the least we can do for

15:52

you, Megan. The

16:02

actual reply was this, hello

16:04

Megan, the next time you make salt and pepper

16:06

chicken please drop some in for us to try.

16:08

If you can make it for a

16:10

quarter of our price we'll buy it from you. No

16:13

point us making it. Okay

16:17

this next round is called What am I

16:19

reading? I've picked a book for each team

16:21

and they're going to hear two real reviews

16:24

of it and they have to work out

16:26

what the book is. If you can't get

16:28

it after that you can have a third

16:30

review but only for a paltry point. The

16:33

book can be anything that's printed, a golfer's

16:35

autobiography, the Ottolenghi cookbook, a Booker prize winning

16:37

novel or something you might actually read. So

16:42

we'll start with Jessica and Simon

16:44

and here's the first genuine

16:46

review. Three point five stars.

16:48

You really can't go wrong

16:50

with monster slaying badasses, ill

16:52

disguised fame haudem, me drench

16:55

partying and heaps of money

16:57

and sparkly treasures. Baz Luhrmann

16:59

should totally turn this into

17:01

an extravagant musical. I'd watch

17:03

the shit out of it.

17:07

This is Berlusconi's autobiography. I

17:11

was so embarrassed that there's only one thing this can

17:13

be and I'm going to have to pretend we don't

17:15

know what the only book that has mead in it.

17:17

Yeah me too. As if there's only one. Should

17:21

I do the second one quickly and then you can

17:23

relax? Okay. If

17:27

I wrote a list of things I

17:29

don't give a toss about I'm pretty

17:31

sure a som big monster whose name

17:33

sounds like a word for the area

17:35

between my balls and my ass told

17:37

entirely in some ancient form of English

17:39

that I don't understand would be near

17:42

the top. God do I hate

17:44

this book. So it's

17:46

Beowulf. It is Beowulf. The

17:48

perineum in question is

17:50

Grendel which I'm not sure that does

17:53

work for the... I think Grendel would

17:55

have been a great name for an

17:57

Anglo-Saxon dating app. You're

18:01

absolutely right, it's the mead soaked,

18:03

yeah, there's no other mead, apart

18:05

from an actual like, how to

18:07

grow your own mead or something.

18:10

Can you grow mead? One

18:13

more Bearwolf review. Dude kills

18:15

monster then kills monster's mum.

18:20

That should be the blurb. That should

18:22

come with that in there. There's

18:25

a great summary in the

18:27

song That's Entertainment of

18:29

Hamlet, which is just where

18:32

a ghost and a prince meet and

18:34

everyone ends as mincemeat. Okay,

18:38

now, Arjuna and Amy have to hear some

18:40

reviews and guess their books, so here's your

18:42

first one. I had to

18:45

buy this after seeing the debark,

18:47

the movie that Kenneth Branagh made,

18:49

the book is so much better.

18:53

By the way, one reviewer in

18:55

the same section called him Kevin

18:57

Branagh, which doesn't really doesn't work.

19:00

Yeah, what's Kevin made these days?

19:03

Okay, okay Bran. Yeah. Yeah.

19:06

I don't know what Kevin Branagh's been up to recently,

19:08

I saw that film, he made a film called Belfast,

19:10

but that wasn't the book beforehand. Has he

19:12

done all the pwira, the Nile one

19:15

book? Yes, Death on the Nile. Death

19:17

on the Nile. Did he do an Orient Express?

19:19

I think so. I'll give you another review,

19:21

I think this will clear things up. Disappointing.

19:25

I quite like the diagram, but

19:27

the story is too much dependent

19:29

on coincidence and the guesswork of

19:31

pwira that I find illogical, and

19:34

the story contains some French language.

19:39

I was shot in a video hire

19:41

shop in Birmingham, they had the film

19:43

Betty Blue, I don't know if you're

19:45

aware of it, it's a fabulous French

19:47

art house movie. And somebody

19:50

had tucked inside the plastic

19:52

cover, a hand written

19:54

in biro piece of paper that

19:56

said subtitles but still a good

19:58

film. Let

20:01

me give you the third. Here comes. What I

20:03

like about this review, it's got what I would

20:05

call a vault pass. In the

20:08

middle of it, it suddenly turns. Wow,

20:11

didn't expect a bunch of murderers

20:13

in the climax. Average.

20:17

So, you've

20:20

established that it's a Poirot. There is

20:22

a Poirot, which I would say towers

20:24

above all others. But the only one

20:26

that I know that has more than

20:29

one killer is the Orient Express. Have

20:31

we mentioned the Orient Express? Yeah, have we? Now Death

20:34

on the Nile, you kept saying. Yeah, but we've said

20:36

Death on the Nile and Bran has done an Orient

20:38

Express. Well, guess

20:40

what? The

20:43

answer is Murder on the

20:45

Orient Express, biography. Hey! Yes,

20:49

a book set in a golden age

20:51

of travel when trains had unimaginable

20:53

luxuries, like somewhere to sit. At

20:56

the end of that round, the

20:59

scores are Jessica and Simon. Six

21:01

points are here and Amy, five.

21:04

I'll tell you this

21:06

next round is called Where on Earth

21:08

Are We? It's about holidays and adventure.

21:10

Now, Jessica and Simon, you're going to

21:12

hear a couple of reviews of a

21:14

tourist attraction. Could be a famous landmark,

21:17

could be a wonderful experience and you

21:19

have to work out what it is.

21:21

So, here's the first one. My

21:24

eyes got a bit sandy and

21:26

had a camel spit and poo

21:28

on me. Also, I

21:30

had a condom wrapper flying to

21:32

me due to the immense amount

21:35

of litter everywhere. Sounds like Margate.

21:37

It's not tanks

21:40

a lot. What

21:44

possible use would anyone there have for

21:46

a condom? I think it sounds

21:52

like it's trying to invoke some kind of Arabian.

21:54

Egypt, here in it. I'll give you the

21:58

second one. Okay. The crowd is sight

22:01

is the blank. The

22:03

viewing platform is about eight or nine feet

22:05

wide. The crowd is dense and you can

22:08

hardly find a moment to take a picture

22:10

of the poor beast without someone jumping in

22:12

front of you in some idiotic pose like

22:14

kissing or hogging him. The only

22:17

part of him you can observe on

22:19

obstructive is his ass and even there,

22:21

there's a metal ladder sticking out of

22:23

it. Sounds like a

22:25

statue of something then, is it? A

22:27

sphinx. A sphinx? A

22:29

golden ladder sticking out of his ass? So that's

22:32

a... Yeah, don't kink

22:34

shame. I

22:36

think between you, you've done pretty well here. What

22:38

we've got is the pyramids and the sphinx. The

22:40

pyramids and the sphinx. Well done. Wow. When

22:45

the guide is describing the sphinx,

22:47

has anyone ever shouted how does

22:50

it smell? Because

22:53

it does have no nose. Ah,

22:55

very good, yeah. Too

22:57

clever. So, very

23:00

controversial that though, you know, because there are people who

23:02

believe that's evidence of water damage which could only have

23:04

occurred if the sphinx was at least 12,000 years old.

23:08

And then you go into Graham Hancock's

23:10

theory that we have lost an entire

23:12

civilization of which that's one of the

23:14

chief artifacts. And a map which demonstrates

23:16

the actual coastline of the Antarctic continent,

23:18

which has been covered by ice sheets

23:20

for most of what we regard

23:23

as human history. So that's probably why they

23:25

don't, because it's very, it's touchy. Mmm. I

23:29

don't know, don't applaud. I didn't understand a single one.

23:33

Well try this. What about Eric Von Daniken's

23:36

theory that the whole thing was built by

23:38

aliens? Yeah, I find those

23:40

ones really, really funny because it's basically

23:42

just someone being like, well obviously no

23:44

one who isn't white could have done

23:46

this. So aliens, probably. Anyway,

23:50

once the pyramids at Ghee sat together

23:52

with the sphinx, and there's lots of

23:54

mixed feelings about it amongst the reviews.

23:56

The best one, the one I liked best,

23:58

was the pyramids were nine. but

24:01

just in the wrong country and place.

24:06

What they need to phone is Lord Elgin. He's

24:09

a... I think he's

24:11

got a removal copy there. I'll sort that

24:13

out. Okay, let's see if

24:15

higher and Amy can beat that. Where

24:17

in the world received this review? And I'll give

24:19

you a clue. You might not have

24:21

known the place existed before, but you'll soon work

24:24

it out. We reach

24:26

a part of Sleeping Beauty. She

24:28

pretends to sleep. Kids screaming to

24:30

wake her up. I lift

24:32

my daughter to touch her to wake

24:34

her up and Sleeping Beauty starts screaming.

24:37

Don't touch me, don't touch me. Come

24:39

on, if you don't like kids to touch

24:41

you, don't work with kids. I

24:44

don't know if that's a slogan I'm prepared to adopt. No,

24:50

I kiss the touch, you're just dressed as

24:52

broccoli. Any

24:55

ideas where they might be? I mean, instinctively, I

24:57

just thought like maybe they're at Disneyland because you

25:00

get people who are dressed up as the characters

25:02

at Disneyland, but then you said that it

25:04

would be a place that we didn't know

25:06

existed. Well, you might not know. It's certainly

25:08

not as high profile as Disneyland. Right,

25:11

okay. Oh, it could be somewhere like Butlins. Oh,

25:14

man. They're used to

25:16

this. That is not as high profile

25:18

as Disneyland. Okay, would you

25:20

like a second review? Yeah. The

25:22

end where kids were taking the sword

25:25

out of the stone kids

25:27

were being called king and queen, etc.

25:30

My four-year-old waited patiently for his turn

25:33

and was so excited to stand on the step and do

25:35

the same, but the person

25:37

who was handling this switched it off

25:39

from the back and my four-year-old couldn't

25:41

lift the sword. He was

25:43

so disappointed. I did request the

25:45

man to let him, but he

25:48

told my four-year-old that royalty isn't

25:50

for everyone. And

25:57

that child was Prince Harry. So,

26:02

there's also a sword in the

26:04

stone, no thing. Is

26:08

there a place called Camelot? I don't know. I

26:10

don't know about that. Is there an experience? There's

26:12

a ping pong ball juggling machine

26:14

company called Camelot. Yeah. From

26:18

the lottery. It isn't that. The

26:20

third one is replying to review where someone

26:23

had been complaining about the ticket price and

26:25

how expensive the whole thing was. And

26:27

they said that we need

26:30

the money because it helps

26:32

us keep Donkey stocked up

26:34

on waffles as he loves

26:36

waffles. Oh,

26:38

well, that's cleared everything up. Thank you. I think

26:40

I... Yeah. I do

26:42

know this. Donkey! Oh, there

26:44

you go. Good for you. We're looking

26:46

to see... Go on, Jess. Wait, wait!

26:48

Wait! No.

26:54

I thought something would come. I think

26:56

it's Shrek. I'll give

26:58

you that. It's Shrek's Adventure. There's

27:00

a Shrek's World Adventure. It's actually

27:03

an interactive fairy tale experience in

27:05

London. I believe it's on the

27:07

South Bank. And absolutely worth checking

27:10

out the reviews on TripAdvisor because

27:12

the company replied to every good

27:14

one with the words Shrektacular. Only

27:19

occasionally do they say Shrekcellent.

27:23

I noticed when the person complained

27:26

about the price, they didn't use

27:28

the phrase Shrekspensive. Somebody

27:31

says, as a review of Shrek's

27:33

Adventure, one line, The

27:36

4D experience was just a

27:38

shaking van. I

27:43

have to say, I've spent some of my happiest

27:45

days out in a shaking van. I

27:48

don't mean that I do underworld killings. That's

27:51

what you're thinking. So

27:53

the final scores are, Ahir and Amy

27:55

have six, but Jessica and Simon have

27:57

hit double figures with a massive ten.

28:04

I'll leave you with a real

28:06

five star Google Maps review of

28:08

Bradwell nuclear power station which said

28:11

something about this place makes me

28:13

all warm and fuzzy. Goodbye!

28:16

Hello! The warm welcome

28:19

family's help field is hosted by Sam Schiller

28:21

and the staff of the foster team Simon

28:23

Evans, Aher Shah and Aimee Blevill. And the

28:26

welcome fans, Gilles, Colson Root, Ross Solly, Dents,

28:28

Jase and Hailey, and Peter Carre,

28:30

Harmans, Katie Bayers and Peter Kaleesh. The show

28:32

is provided by Simon Evans and Jason Hailey

28:34

with the producer David Tyler and it

28:37

is a positive production for BBC Radio 4. Thanks

28:43

for listening to the Comedy of the Week podcast

28:45

from BBC Radio 4. If

28:47

you want more, check out the Friday Night Comedy

28:49

podcast featuring the news quiz, the now show and

28:52

Dead Ringers. People

28:55

of the world and surrounding areas, I have

28:57

some terrible tidies. None

28:59

of you, not a single one

29:01

has yet been able to listen to my

29:04

new audio show from BBC Radio 4. But

29:07

you can thank your lucky uncle that that is

29:10

all about to change. Please

29:13

welcome to the stage, Peter.

29:20

Am I really so spoken bold? Do I not pay

29:22

attention to other people? Not really, guys. Only

29:24

Bunsen were here, he'd tell me straight. I

29:27

am here. Don't scare

29:30

me like that Bunsen. Listen

29:33

to Jazzy Mule, The Sound of Us,

29:36

on BBC Sounds.