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I’m GOING TO JAIL

I’m GOING TO JAIL

Released Tuesday, 30th April 2024
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I’m GOING TO JAIL

I’m GOING TO JAIL

I’m GOING TO JAIL

I’m GOING TO JAIL

Tuesday, 30th April 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked

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customers for limited time. Unlimited more than 40 gigabytes per month. Mint

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Unlimited slows. Private.

0:38

Eyes on Candy announcer out and

0:41

you're listening to closet conventions. If

0:43

this is the best I've you're

0:45

listening. To. Ah,

0:52

John I'm not that simple. Premise is myself

0:54

and Zero in my closet to get something

0:56

out of our chest and you get some

0:59

things of of us has to but fresco

1:01

you know we gotta do a half these

1:03

American version. Just were that that I said

1:05

I could say magical miss a fishy guy

1:08

What other way These Margaret Thatcher. I'm

1:11

ready to go today. Go Gun! Either of the

1:13

have anything. Kills.

1:17

The deep inhale. Okay,

1:19

just for those who aren't with us in the

1:21

room, Her: she's crushing poet, right? Now she's

1:24

taking d. In Hales I just

1:26

want you to to see the demeanor. Okay

1:28

god continue. I.

1:31

Found my first gray hair. Caught.

1:44

On a snow on my.

2:10

I know. I've been

2:12

lucky. Less says it says it says a cool

2:14

cat spends the. Pride.

2:20

of my sisters footage,

2:22

suits. Oh.

2:25

My. God. Is

2:28

in my school district that. That

2:30

the the boonies. Guys

2:33

if your regular listen to the listening

2:35

to the Point us as exclusively whack

2:37

Since I was like twenty. Side.

2:39

The Brazilian said when hollywood I I

2:41

never know. Yeah, we're going on in

2:43

that way I was. it does. It's

2:46

never enough hair Yes, I'm

2:48

about to go get a while. He

2:51

literally happened this morning. I

2:54

pull all my girlfriends and I'm I'm I'm

2:57

caught between a rock and a hard place.

2:59

I've been dying to go gray right

3:01

up my alt right eats. Sets let

3:03

them get the message is just

3:05

not running the idea that translates

3:08

as but then my girl friends

3:10

who are all. All. Of

3:12

them announced that your eyes off or on

3:14

one of the oh this in that. I've.

3:17

Got separate principles in that friendship with i'm one

3:19

of the always is there will hide his and

3:21

L A M because they're like. No.

3:23

One's holsters. You go gray. No

3:26

one told us everyone's like we are learning

3:28

everything through you. love what the fuck is

3:30

Gabi knobs on that? Kind of the what

3:32

the fuck is that we not? I'm learning

3:34

that really. So.

3:38

He. Tried. To kill people that.

3:40

Got the boot go. It's a

3:42

it's a thing people. good player

3:44

medals know everyone does. Not.

3:46

Some everyone does. Suck.

3:53

My girlfriends. And I was also like. My.

4:04

Friends and were also some a generation

4:06

of. Ah women around the

4:08

having lots of hair does that make

4:10

sense? Like my generation or the first

4:12

skyn bad kinds of time. I live

4:15

my life and come from like we

4:17

come from. The weapons you know what

4:19

am I was among my aunt he's

4:21

a grandmother. everyone's got her as I

4:23

mean where's the i might sorrow did

4:25

you? What's that not communicated? How.

4:31

So now I'm like a Save Apartments

4:34

and I can sign up for one.

4:36

Coming on the my. What

4:39

is the put one of retire? oh

4:41

I'm so. Simple

4:43

day. He. Was hilarious. Now he's

4:46

capital him because he's been diving gray

4:48

as with like on his head and

4:50

on his bid for ages and I'm

4:52

like so crazy of pull it From

4:55

You. See.

5:01

You read me? who? I.

5:11

Thought Okay and so this is why

5:13

when it's have a conversation the Pope

5:15

has you know be stop with the

5:17

balance and then we expand on the

5:19

conversation. I've been saying the may be

5:21

eighteen months to two years. the I

5:23

am. Definitely. Perry Men

5:25

A Plausible I has been a very

5:27

i can count on my periods the

5:29

same time every month since I was

5:32

eleven Says that my period when I

5:34

was eleven right? Is

5:36

like clockwork. Off. The as

5:38

May there were no changes and I was not one of

5:40

those lucky pregnant women who that the some pregnant women that

5:42

get their period. For three years off.

5:44

The having a baby. Oh no, no numbers. Will.

5:47

I wrote the flat see came straight out

5:49

the gate. the periods will see lease lay

5:52

off. same with all day. They never lucky

5:54

dip in anything for the last two years

5:56

I think lot faster. It's a like

5:58

make me pay to. The other night

6:01

sweats, South.

6:04

Get a messy leading up to Will

6:06

during my period. We actually just has

6:08

to have two pairs of my clothes

6:11

on the stand by. What's gonna happen

6:13

is I'm in the sequel Fleet I

6:15

Wake Up I'm So to the mattress.

6:18

So I typically sleep on hobbles the week

6:20

leading up to enjoying my period because the

6:22

night sweats or so bad that I have

6:25

to see me out of when I say

6:27

that to ripping wet clothes and did it

6:29

at it as the other thing and I

6:31

I follow this guy called plug queen and

6:33

he gazed a name for it but the

6:35

public have his letter Latika which is losing

6:37

your memory short time for a good year

6:39

now I'll be meet com via. Yeah.

6:43

And to the point that even the kids though

6:45

this this the the running tax rate in our

6:47

house is she signed in it was other. I'm

6:49

finding it Yeah yeah yeah with a little islamic

6:51

com the say said yes and all the words

6:53

will be sucked out my brain as well be

6:55

lot or back in five minutes if I did

6:57

it on that. yeah you do that and then

6:59

to others they have a lot. Of.

7:04

Fly so the night sweats. That also

7:07

coupled with the fact that my slow

7:09

has changed completely i used to be

7:11

a three day gao not has he

7:13

in our not thinking about it's there

7:15

are two days novels every period. Wow,

7:18

I can't even go to work as

7:20

everyone who works with me knows that

7:22

she cannot leave the house because those

7:24

two days I can go to see

7:27

the plus tampon every half hour. And

7:30

I remember one day I was

7:32

filming for Sky Tv hay festival

7:34

and it was does two days

7:37

and I spent the majority of

7:39

that days cleaning up public toilets

7:41

were I've got in. And

7:43

it's just say that it's it's everywhere

7:46

and to the point that they were

7:48

like should we stop filming I was

7:50

like no, this is due to be

7:52

scheduled programing some Mobo like we actually

7:54

constant. Yes,

7:58

Yes, Yes, Gray

8:02

is like the final nail in

8:04

a coffin of understanding of that.

8:06

In Sweden, you're approaching another phase

8:09

of womanhood cs and now the

8:11

education is more offing the tips

8:13

and stuff. But I wanted to

8:15

save all of this because to

8:17

Austen. Women are ghastly

8:20

a you're too young. Oh

8:22

that can't be still. This is what

8:24

is the like Me: every maniples can

8:26

last for ten years. so what is

8:28

what is Too young? Wrong? You can

8:31

be housing the night sweats the Saget

8:33

for this the whatever for up to

8:35

ten years until you a city and

8:37

him and applause Wow wow wow. Wow.

8:40

Men opposes you not having they.

8:42

It's scientifically men. applause is considered

8:44

when you've not had a period

8:46

for one year. That's when adoptable

8:48

say you're in Men a pool

8:50

rise. But the symptoms of Perry

8:52

Men are pools and can be

8:54

imbalance. For ten years.

8:56

So. I could. I'm thirty. Six

8:58

men oppose. might not least Muslim forty.

9:01

Sit here. So

9:03

I don't think women my

9:05

age. Are having enough

9:08

conversations for all that we discuss

9:10

on the internet is not same

9:12

Know. The same his

9:14

dad's less. be really fucking for real

9:16

is not same. I just think it's

9:18

a not understanding or believing our bodies

9:21

and then be maybe not wanting to

9:23

talk sir and things into existence. I

9:25

don't know but I'm like when I

9:27

follow sir and women like Auntie Tab

9:29

is really good at discussing maniples but

9:31

she's not my age they are more

9:33

often I don't pay attention because like

9:36

omelet where you got ten years on

9:38

me? I'm not know, I know, That.

9:41

You five plus girl he standup

9:43

had in the changes of very

9:45

very very real also and I

9:48

speak frankly because is in to

9:50

meet or educational. I've not been

9:52

on contraception since giving best to

9:55

Rj. I've. Never gone as

9:57

a ever gone back on the pill. My

9:59

and thankfully. The party's him as not

10:01

smell a whistle. The baby I was

10:03

gonna os can you get pregnant was.

10:05

Pre. Med. Of. Soluti and also

10:07

that south And this is how people

10:10

end up with their boots. baby. rise

10:12

that some just before you go into

10:14

your men opposes when you're my satire

10:16

to. Okay so that's why a forty

10:19

five year old woman is like what

10:21

those a flaw? Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

10:23

because the that window is when the

10:25

eggs are like beats. Really? We got

10:27

the Alexandria for you. Yeah yeah. I'm

10:30

getting raped by us. That's. How they

10:32

exit. he does it on. So.

10:35

With. All of that considered and literally before

10:38

you got hit, Charlie had me on the

10:40

fence. My doctor cause we were having some

10:42

blood tests is like know you was definitely

10:44

Perry Menopausal. So I'm like. Oh,

10:46

here we are and he was another

10:49

thing I need to learn about myself

10:51

and about my body. And I had

10:53

a mate this weekend and she's forty

10:55

three and she was talking about hate

10:57

towards he and the how is that

10:59

is something I want to consider. I

11:02

don't believe that I have to wait. Until

11:04

I'm men opposing. Year to Hate

11:06

us. He's really not something I'm

11:08

basically given the of not even

11:10

been unconscious Epson for so long

11:12

is hate Us He the pats.

11:14

Yes, he's okay. Hormone replacement therapy?

11:17

Yeah, I know. That that.

11:19

Wouldn't be my first pulse of cool

11:21

of cool stuff because I'm moving into

11:23

my halfway hotel. Say yeah, yeah yeah.

11:25

I'm like in what are the other

11:27

ways we can manage to balance and

11:29

down there Rob, it just takes a

11:31

lot of recess in. The thing is,

11:33

I find when it's anything that affects

11:35

women and there isn't. There isn't

11:37

enough. Information. That education

11:39

out that agency urgency. oh that was

11:42

gravitas. yeah behind it cause I'm not

11:44

gonna lie to the reason why of

11:46

even delay because I had the blood

11:48

test Luckily two thirds as as a

11:50

this is because I've paid privately. Yeah.

11:53

I'm going to keep the a box. If I

11:55

brought my worries to an Nhs doctor,

11:57

Jason, what's going on right now Say

11:59

I'm not going to seems you for

12:02

lie Yes, a year that same friends

12:04

Uk mounties Forty Three see was having

12:06

issues for many years. And.

12:08

Pushed and pushed them first. It

12:11

was ovarian cancer to I'm. Push.

12:14

Them has them purse so also

12:16

I didn't have any of you

12:18

guys listening once followed a influence

12:21

accords s a cop Hemingway I

12:23

used to love her back in

12:25

the day Jessica recently passed away

12:27

from like states for ovarian cancer

12:29

or a cancer in that area

12:31

and see was so open in

12:34

her journey she was told multiple

12:36

time yeah nothing was wrong here

12:38

bleeding out on her bathroom floor.

12:40

Nothing will be a toda. Fibroids

12:42

was what she got diagnosed. yeah

12:45

which is a I have my

12:47

boys. Especially in black women

12:49

so that we common common a black

12:52

women and damn I mean i i

12:54

have family members on he's he's struggled

12:56

with it by remember when I was

12:58

like may be honest he says been

13:00

my periods with. Our wonderful

13:03

thing and crawling to the

13:05

bathroom. Yes, And my friends of the

13:07

of the on the pill yeah whether it's the

13:09

sets of yes i'm at home mom and also

13:11

have even gone the pill and my mom was

13:14

that we can go to the doctor much as

13:16

your mom and as a mass I don't advise

13:18

you See that's when I find the Me: read

13:20

the small print awful Sat teeny tiny fucking books

13:22

as you didn't realize and then and this is

13:25

a couple years ago against I'm. Thankful.

13:27

To tick tock. I came across a

13:29

see women who had gone blinds to

13:31

to the pale. Yeah the pill is

13:33

demonic. It's detrimental up to be. Still,

13:35

I get some I'm not a judge

13:37

he sat on. And it's not saying

13:40

that you shouldn't use the i use

13:42

the pill for many yes. But when

13:44

is as are you decide to live

13:46

close to the pamphlet that actually comes

13:48

with that? Yeah yeah. If is not

13:50

a choice that I think it's not

13:52

easy choice if I make that choice.

13:54

A choice. That. Is explains

13:56

proper. know if my T

13:59

P sadly. Was sixteen and was

14:01

like you'll have a higher risk of

14:03

breast cancer has a potentially go blind

14:05

get my boy You forget fibroids your

14:08

sex drive could fall off of. This

14:10

is someone city sat down. Yes I

14:12

was like this is what could come

14:14

with this. You. Would

14:16

really system think and take in but

14:19

it's also bicyclists you like it supplies

14:21

or yeah that you are not in

14:23

have is to make an informed decision

14:25

because all the information is not given

14:28

up Friends and I always say this

14:30

if there was a male pill. I.

14:33

Promise you slip. Up

14:36

there for a minute. Okay because this

14:39

is how I know when living under

14:41

his I if we're gonna get hands

14:43

made pay me about it. Yes with

14:45

all the technology and the full with

14:47

a medicines weeds or know the male

14:49

pill exists if you go uphill that

14:51

can keep men's this is all there

14:53

has to be appeal to keep that

14:55

was in a cage. Ideally they. Absolutely.

14:58

Does it fit with the patriarchy? He

15:00

doesn't have the patriarchy and it probably

15:02

makes them tiny but uncommon to me,

15:04

right? Like it makes women very empty.

15:06

Know Amy and size The women's her

15:08

at every size of their life. Has

15:11

this considered a bad area of. Country

15:13

a certain that that's what blows my

15:15

mind. I have to consider the budget

15:17

idea of procreation. Whilst

15:20

these men at various stages just waltz into

15:22

the sunlight yes, absolutely not having it's and

15:24

the pills sent me a bit loose. he.

15:27

I. at what it was the same way I felt.

15:30

When. I was an antidepressant. It was

15:32

like I was wrapped sing sing film.

15:36

Script I was under that but

15:38

the world was kind of blurry

15:40

and nothing felt we me will

15:42

or tangible. Yeah. Of

15:44

antidepressants. Made me feel that way. The

15:46

pill made me feel that way. And

15:49

I have. I. Have felt very

15:51

much in my right mind since

15:53

deciding on not going to be

15:55

on any type of homework module,

15:57

classes and twelve. I personally once

15:59

ice. My mom sat me down

16:01

and I mean she went through the

16:03

panelists and she was like this is

16:05

that the ages of the pain you're

16:07

going through now it can you. We

16:09

can do things for it. Yeah taking

16:11

that big step of going on the

16:13

pill is a huge that can affect

16:15

you in the long tabs so I

16:17

never went on the pill. but anything

16:20

that really olds has my hormones or

16:22

anything that has the risk of becoming

16:24

addicted to that was very addictive. As

16:26

long as I. Day.

16:28

Away as have I just know in the

16:30

long run it's gonna affect me. Worse

16:33

than is going to. Help me in

16:35

this moment. Obsidian I am. but I

16:37

just. Saw I saw. it does not enough. It's

16:39

cases and lights. I don't know if if we

16:41

go back to this metaphors chat. Mama.

16:44

Of animals And I just

16:46

know. And never make loans hard for

16:48

thirty signed up. I miss the stuff because

16:50

of tix Hawks people to tell you about

16:53

how costly I'll tell you. just never asked

16:55

me. I'll give you all that incites is

16:57

like fucking awful. And

17:00

on nice pieces. I know

17:02

people without oil, fear mongering

17:04

like by I always. Just

17:07

has to blanket everything with he was

17:09

doing something that too close to your

17:11

life. Absolutely. I'm just like can we

17:13

had a camera Scott to the chase

17:16

absolute as I'm not doing that to

17:18

Fear Monger. But then when women come

17:20

out with a near death experience or

17:22

the bus and nine percent of them

17:24

does, go to plan yes and their

17:27

brain is scattered. Yes, it's because no

17:29

one. Says and pets

17:31

you. The other day I

17:33

recorded a poll costly someone. Lovely woman. I

17:35

get there. she picks in dust. why didn't

17:37

know? Soon enough I didn't know she was

17:39

pregnant. So I get there. she's pregnant. Were

17:41

recording the poll cause she likes. By the

17:44

end of the episodes of of the of

17:46

the Seasons, you the have got something to

17:48

tell you. I was like

17:50

you're going to give us to they aren't you

17:52

She was like how the fuck did you know

17:54

that as like. I. I just

17:56

so literally see was going to get

17:58

past that size. Yeah that down my

18:01

go for photography Now my I waited it

18:03

because and we got i'm not a house

18:05

fire I was like oh I understand to

18:07

eye with it on the same I don't

18:09

want to be now preoccupied the whole day.

18:12

Ways. I'm having a baby have a

18:14

guy even. I play the as well. But also

18:16

on and off mike as close as

18:19

I could I was a so honest

18:21

with her the number one she was

18:23

tend to be induced. Other of you

18:25

do not having the baby today moon

18:27

I'll let you have the baby him

18:29

for your photos yeah lot of in.cities

18:31

I just wanted and I hold on

18:33

I was like also lead he is

18:35

not the the constructions of induction other

18:37

than to repeal Braden seal off because

18:39

it's not your body trying to get

18:41

back seats it's a medicine trying to

18:43

push C news you along signal bought.

18:46

As. Funny her husband

18:48

was in the room and I make maybe

18:50

he did. If he doesn't want me to

18:52

sob he hid it well. Spicy will so

18:54

grateful. You like.

18:57

I'm. Not gonna see even like

18:59

see babe you needs is. I'm

19:01

so grateful that I have witnessed

19:03

by more than direct as my

19:05

aunt she's partner after that makes

19:08

cloud exercise I guess what? they

19:10

don't fly out this flying Can

19:12

I tell you that construct said

19:14

deserts A C B They saw

19:16

that. Last holding

19:18

the top and the basis of

19:21

your vagina eyes and then saying

19:23

to hold while the headquarters of

19:25

Ring of Fire with com. And

19:28

Susie not wholly children to split from front

19:30

to back, see like just hold back and

19:32

you can see baby said i'm sorry to

19:34

be safe but you did not have. You

19:36

know how the movies make him acts and

19:38

thus. Also

19:41

suffered enough. Pushing for

19:43

was guys. Ah,

19:46

Was three minutes was somewhere between

19:48

stopping to drink more of an

19:50

have lucozade of what's amusing. Not

19:53

women I sit in on themselves.

19:55

Absolute game. The to say that

19:58

I'm Elites isn't sense. The

20:00

new you absolutely need and I also believe

20:02

you need to have older friends you the

20:04

all badly. Five hours of Friday supplier by

20:07

the Us and for really long time I

20:09

was oldest friends yeah I'm I'm no longer

20:11

like I said in one sense it grew

20:13

I yeah yeah but what's kidding me comfort

20:15

in his in another friendship with are not

20:18

yes some able to dollars there be light

20:20

girlies desert mama's sit and will I be

20:22

a lot will start with on behavior in

20:24

the other group everyone's like war because it's

20:26

also classes I can't be asked. My mom

20:28

as well like and. Nor do I want to.

20:31

I feel like she was a won't be as honest

20:33

with me like I love my mom down but she

20:35

also comes from school of thought of like. You

20:38

know that generation mom's

20:40

grandmas where he cites.

20:43

Women: And

20:45

you know what? I'm just not agree

20:48

we've all given, but I've ever person

20:50

walking on the planet is coming comes

20:52

up for when I don't know what

20:54

is again I understand that their generations

20:57

woman who was so under float hint

20:59

at all. But. I'm just like

21:01

the fact that men didn't go in

21:03

to watch their babies get delivered and

21:05

then would just come out with this

21:07

beautiful, clean the believe in it. Apparently

21:09

they gave us some medicine that basically

21:11

put her have to sleep. Been

21:14

set yet? Google this so the queen

21:16

that was a medicine back in the

21:18

day met. Yes okay so apparently see

21:20

was never fully prices so the bus

21:22

of Henry's doesn't make sense. They give

21:24

you like some the all night night

21:26

being so you're there but not there

21:28

right? right right Secedes seat. doesn't expect

21:30

like as yeah a scenario that this

21:32

is. This is where I live. By

21:34

the way. To do. As

21:37

so it's a sign. It

21:39

so. And I

21:41

remember. And I

21:44

if you bought my says but which you

21:46

should by the way guys either of a

21:48

mother I speak about the time and in

21:50

my early twenties where I had an abortion

21:52

which was. By. Far beyond the most

21:54

horrific thing as off the those of us

21:56

who are pro life going all will you

21:58

get what you deserve. Absolutely fuck

22:00

off. I'm I'm very

22:03

clear about what I believe it

22:05

and the choices I've made. And

22:07

so now, even when I'm having

22:10

discussions with women who doesn't want

22:12

to continue with pregnancies, I'm very

22:14

open about the multiple versions of

22:17

abortion.exists and which one will potentially

22:19

be the best the their physical

22:21

and mental health. It's it's it's

22:23

it's. Just a myriad of

22:26

things that exist around when the woman

22:28

heard lows my much to the point

22:30

now I think as May doesn't asks

22:32

me questions because he's like this pisses

22:34

to real. May

22:37

Fly I even as I know

22:40

as good as we all. Saw

22:43

at my Lai Lai Lai a

22:46

good to use as.you just gone

22:48

but it is everyday oh needed

22:51

and as she will so

22:53

saw appreciate that like. A.

22:55

Teens, you. Like when she's

22:57

in her early twenties when sees prince. Like

22:59

those conversations on also just being aware of

23:01

the reality because I thought a lot of

23:04

women lie. Well, I hope. They.

23:06

Were they were bamboozled into pregnancy. Families

23:08

have ever seen that in this is

23:11

a naked house and always they kids.

23:14

I'm. Just so they can

23:16

get. In my opinion the visuals of

23:18

a real woman's body without a i

23:20

had not been clinically on lie yes

23:22

I'm lot of this is what's as

23:24

I grew up in naked houses and

23:26

that was really helpful because I was

23:28

able to see what various women's bodies

23:30

look like how their bodies responded to

23:32

child as you get I'm very nice,

23:34

those things are so imho and but

23:36

I'm just like if where. If

23:39

when it was just gonna talk about any and

23:41

everything on the internet I'm like let this be

23:43

the thing that live we the open about us

23:45

cause I'm not You guys will pick hadn't and

23:47

choose when when same said and at the top.

23:50

And. All of this just boils down

23:52

to education absolute i target know cause

23:54

it's just know the bit dull. I

23:56

just don't know why didn't consider your

23:58

pubic has with though gray. Like

24:00

when you actually sit there. You.

24:02

Feel a bit of a mob like. I'm.

24:05

Not gonna lie, It never

24:07

crossed my mind snow but when it

24:09

does your like. Does.

24:13

Good. That I mean. I

24:15

guess last. Because. What else

24:18

would it be? The the great has to

24:20

much like did I mean do. A

24:23

i guess but also i

24:25

bought bro the body is

24:27

a regime as. Z

24:30

Machine. And if there's one thing I'm

24:32

even though I didn't know it but

24:34

we disarray, God forbid let it be

24:36

known as there's one thing I really

24:39

respect his. how dedicated up into exercise

24:41

to the last year. Yeah, because that's

24:43

yeah. it's gonna be the saving grace.

24:45

Yeah, Yeah,

24:47

I agree. I agree that

24:50

way around here. Is.

24:52

Gonna be the saving grace. My

24:54

mom does polities a swimming and

24:56

she's like it has changed. Bone

24:58

dense everything. arthritis shoes I feel

25:00

movie for new When I see

25:02

you feel you feel like you

25:04

can. To. Some degree do the things

25:06

you your bloody has although he's. A.

25:09

Label D to do yeah I think

25:11

especially as within our bodies literally get

25:13

to an age where where like I'm

25:15

not bending that low anymore. Yes, I've

25:17

not listening to anymore. especially if he's

25:19

not breathing, the practice of conditioning and

25:21

I think also what helps women or

25:23

the way we should look exercise is

25:26

not to exercise as a means of

25:28

weight loss. but look at exercises that

25:30

homeless dude letter and those he feels

25:32

raw Bomb title. I just saw the

25:34

student me alive it's not full weight

25:36

loss Obama Ptc this summer when I

25:38

got. Into a carnival Lacrosse

25:40

mom, right? Boot Essay:

25:43

I want. Them to be

25:45

lot. When did they make guns legal in the you

25:47

try? That. Was

25:53

it's a be nobody loses or questions on.

25:56

if that is a gym dad dies this

25:58

then go on take on too. whose

26:01

back has gone viral. I saw that. When I tell

26:03

you if I had that back. I saw that as

26:05

she was wearing a back dress. Listen, that's not. Because

26:07

if I had that back, Candice, no one can chat

26:09

to me. Why do you think I've been wearing back

26:11

dress in all of the presents? No one. Everyone's like,

26:13

Candice, the back must be out. I'm like, no,

26:15

the back is always out. Look, I had that

26:18

back. And she had

26:20

these little dimples. I said, no. No,

26:23

God knew what he was doing when he was thinking about that.

26:25

Because I'd have been a menace to the

26:27

day. The thing is, you can get the back. See,

26:30

this is why I can't fuck with y'all. This

26:32

is why I can't fuck with y'all. You

26:34

see, this is what everything you do to back. Okay?

26:37

I said, I want you to give me a like. Crap.

26:40

All right, give me a weight then. Give me

26:42

a dumb back. That's what. Ah.

26:49

And I think this episode will be as important

26:51

as like the Colos, Cola Loscovy

26:53

episode. I love that one. Remember that? Like my

26:55

ass is hurting. And we just went on this.

27:03

We just said no. I hope you can

27:05

remember that episode. Honestly. Because my ass was

27:07

hurting that day. P.M. P.M.

27:10

That was. And the one where you gave yourself third degree

27:12

burns. Ah. What

27:18

did I put on my face again? I was like,

27:20

what? Was it Vic? What's all? What's it

27:22

Candace said? That's the one. That's the

27:24

one. That's the one. Candace

27:29

has been through on this podcast. I

27:32

said, Mike, though, Vic's is still the best thing for

27:34

hemorrhoids. That's the one. That's

27:36

the one. I've been telling people this. I've

27:38

been telling people. If he's got hemorrhoids.

27:40

That cool mental breeze. You did. Vic,

27:46

get us out of the box. But

27:53

in the soul. Vic's is where it's at. And

27:55

if you're not doing some rubble, surely do it yourself. Oh,

27:57

I knew you were going to say that. A little tiger

27:59

bar. I live

28:02

with the strong. I live

28:04

with the strong. I'm the strongest soldiers. I am not

28:06

one of them. I will

28:11

say this though, just to like

28:13

review the whole colonoscopy episode, since

28:17

losing weight and changing my diet, I've never

28:19

had issues in that area again. Yes. I

28:21

just want to remind people how

28:24

everything is interconnected. Yeah. And

28:26

some of these fixes are short term. Yeah. They

28:28

deal with it for that moment. And the doctor

28:31

was literally like, oh no, we need to find

28:33

a long term solution. Yeah. Given that on both

28:35

sides, this is like a genetic disposition and you

28:38

have the 10 pound kid, like, yeah, how

28:40

do we manage this over the course of

28:42

the long term? And again, I know I'm

28:45

doing too much, but everyone

28:47

kind of then just ends up being like,

28:49

and I wouldn't cause I love a steak

28:51

too much, but everyone's like they choose a

28:53

vegan lifestyle or a raw lifestyle. Do you

28:55

go out and say, I, to be honest,

28:58

I mean, I don't do the full

29:00

on dumbbells. I try work out three to five

29:02

times a week, but I'm not as in it

29:04

as you, but there are other small changes. Like

29:07

I have one yoga a day for

29:09

gut health. I have something

29:11

called Simprose. It's like a

29:13

little bacteria shot. Oh, like a knuckle. Yeah. Like

29:16

a probiotic. Yes. Love them. I have this thing

29:18

called greens, powdered greens. You've got like all your,

29:20

and I have the warning and I feel healthy.

29:32

I said, thank you. I

29:34

have liquid

29:36

collagen. Yeah. It comes in like these

29:39

little squeezy shades. They're disgusting. They are.

29:41

I'm trying to retain the, the, I

29:43

have a little collagen

29:46

and I'm like, no, the older you

29:48

get guys, these things. And what I'm

29:50

trying to do now is, so

29:53

I've got Esme on magnesium and she needed

29:55

iron. And I'm like, no, no, no, we're

29:58

not waiting until you're 20. We're

30:00

doing this now. And the minute you get

30:02

it into your routine, it's so easy. And

30:04

I feel the difference. Oh, let me

30:07

tell you something. Look how this is turned into a

30:09

health podcast. What's the one that we were all taking?

30:11

You see melatonin? Yeah. I'ma

30:14

see your melatonin and I'm gonna raise you

30:16

magnesium before that girl. Magnesium is

30:18

that girl. Magnesium is truly

30:20

that girl. Oh, put

30:22

the glasses on. Magnesium. Step

30:24

up. Step up. It's

30:27

the same bitch. It's the same bitch.

30:29

Magnesium. See that girl? She

30:31

is that girl. I said what are

30:33

sleep problems, please? Honey,

30:36

whoa. She would knock you. Whoa. TVB

30:38

watching me in 10 minutes, like listen.

30:40

And I don't have, so melatonin was

30:42

giving me like this aggressive hangover the

30:45

next day. I felt cloudy or I

30:47

had a headache like a taken night

30:49

nurse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Magnesium

30:52

is that girl. I'm just a

30:54

plethora of things. Girl. A plethora.

30:56

I've been living in Holland and Barrett. But

30:59

my fear is that I'm gonna become that

31:01

girl who then sees everything and is

31:03

like, oh, let me try some sea moss. Oh, let

31:05

me try some beer. Let me try some of that.

31:07

I don't think there's anything wrong with trying

31:09

anything. Have you seen that video? Is it

31:12

Bella Hadid? Hmm. And

31:14

she's taking like maybe two

31:17

minutes worth of supplements. As in like

31:19

tablespoon, a drink, a kill.

31:21

And let's be really, really fucking

31:23

for real. The best supplements are

31:25

in raw food. Yeah. If

31:27

you are really 80% eating a

31:30

really great balance by it. And

31:32

by balance, to make

31:34

it not confusing in my brain, I'm like the

31:36

brighter the plate, the better. The

31:38

greens, the oranges, the reds. Do

31:41

you get what I'm saying? Protein and veg.

31:43

Yeah. Fantastic. Should make

31:45

up at least 70% of your plate. Do you get

31:47

what I'm saying? Yeah. So as long

31:49

as you're having that, I don't necessarily think

31:51

there then is a need for all

31:54

of that also. And let's

31:56

just disconnect the two so people don't try

31:58

and slice and dice it. I don't. I don't know

32:00

Bella so I'm not saying she does. There are

32:02

a lot of people doing all the vitamins and

32:04

then their noses full of Charlie on the weekends.

32:06

Hey. Hee hee hee hee. Like,

32:08

you're a fucking grip. No, Charlie's not

32:10

in college, you. You man will

32:12

be back in 25 vitamins Monday to Friday,

32:15

then come Saturday, Sunday, all you know is

32:17

the local dealer. The maths ain't math, sin.

32:20

We're just on this vicious cycle. Mm-hmm.

32:23

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

32:25

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I

32:28

won't keep you up. No, you did. I

32:30

thought you could start the number. Yes, sir.

32:32

I'm out of here. Listen. I

32:34

love you. Listen. Can't

32:36

leave some losses. What's that? I'm gonna start

32:39

five. I don't even fuck. Oh, I don't give

32:41

a fuck. Great point for this. Ah! You win.

32:43

Whatever fuck you thought I gave yesterday, I do

32:45

not give today. Delete it. Delete it.

32:48

Control alt delete. Redact

32:50

it. Delete it. Delete it. Delete

32:52

it. I do not. I

32:55

do not. Alt-style. Yeah, girl. Alt-style.

32:57

Please. Oh, I think, we gotta listen to

33:00

consistent dialogue. Oh, it's like, what? We're just

33:02

gonna keep going. I can't even get girl.

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34:17

we're moving on to a cousin confession

34:19

now. Don't pre-read. The compression title is,

34:22

my husband is a lying liar who lies. Oh,

34:32

hey, Sorel

34:34

and Candice.

34:42

I love listening to you all and love the

34:44

duty details. I hear every week. However, I never

34:46

thought I'd be the one writing in with this

34:48

kind of confession. Less than a week

34:50

ago, I was in bed. My husband had gone to sleep

34:53

in our five year olds room. Backets.

34:55

We have different sleep needs. Okay. And

35:00

he left his phone charging by the bed

35:02

like he normally does. Okay.

35:05

Around 3 a.m. The phone goes off. It's

35:08

mine guys. Oh, around 3 a.m. The

35:11

phone goes off and it woke me up. This was

35:14

not abnormal because he is from a different country and

35:16

has family all over the world that often reach out

35:18

to him at times that aren't convenient for him. I

35:21

reached to turn the phone off and something tells me

35:23

to peruse. Love

35:25

that. Love a peruse. Love

35:27

it. An intuition

35:29

or peru-lation. Mind

35:33

you, I've had a few things happen that

35:35

I have taken a mental note of. Oh,

35:37

girl, let me get cooked. Oh, I'm crafty

35:40

later. This lady. Hold

35:44

on. Hold on. So

35:46

I think that was playing in the back of my

35:48

mind. Basically, y'all over the course of two days, I

35:51

found out that my husband has been having sexual conversations

35:53

with a past lover that he swears. He

35:58

swears it happened only one time before we... met

36:00

but they stay talking about

36:02

it. Please, who talks

36:04

about 12 year old Dick? Oh.

36:08

He was back home last year,

36:10

so home as in he is born,

36:13

he was born and raised in a different country and

36:16

that's where she lives. I'm

36:19

convinced they slept together. I then found

36:21

out he has been actively for years

36:24

daily, weekly, monthly.

36:27

No, go, go, go, go, go, go.

36:35

I've been reaching out to escorts

36:37

asking for rates. Asking

36:40

if there's no more. Please, please. Asking

36:43

if they'll be near his city and

36:45

having communication. The

36:47

last one was last week. Let

36:49

me re-array. There

36:53

has been inappropriate conversation at my expense

36:55

with others along the lines

36:58

of tell your wife I

37:00

said hi, hahaha. Oh,

37:05

I'm going to jail. Oh, I

37:08

am. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

37:10

oh, oh, you're

37:13

all reading about me and the guardian, the

37:15

independent, I'm going to motherfucking jail. Tell

37:18

your wife I said hi, hahaha.

37:22

To which he replies with last,

37:24

fuck him. Sorry, continue.

37:27

His IG messages are

37:30

full of him reaching out to

37:32

big titty women. It's not me. It's not me.

37:36

It's not me, my little bee thing. Ha,

37:48

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

37:50

ha. Mostly white. Oh,

37:52

definitely not me, Charlie.

37:56

I have big tartars, but I'm not a

37:58

white woman. Oh, Just put a

38:01

pin in that. We got a circle

38:03

back. Put a pin in that. And

38:05

he's been flirty with his oldest child's

38:07

mother. Oldest child? Okay, okay. Who didn't

38:09

flirt back, but surely didn't

38:11

put him in his place. I

38:14

am pissed. I am disgusted. I am sad.

38:17

I haven't cried. Don't really want to because

38:19

he doesn't deserve my tears, rate it. But

38:21

I'm sad for my kids, our child

38:24

and my stepchild. This has been going

38:26

on since our entire relationship started 10

38:28

years ago. And I'm just in disbelief.

38:31

I feel like a fool, but

38:33

also feel like he has a serious problem. Put a pin

38:35

in that. I'll come back to that. He's

38:38

begging me to reconsider, not to

38:40

make any rash decisions. I'm

38:43

guessing she's confronted him. He told me

38:45

he's glad I found out. Okay.

38:48

Promises he will never do it again. Okay.

38:52

Well, he's already done it again. About

38:54

four months after I had our child, he was

38:57

having similar conversations with some woman that I found

38:59

in his email that he left open on my

39:01

computer in the living room. What? Dummy.

39:05

I'm going to get STD testing because I can't

39:07

believe shit he says and the trust is gone.

39:10

I'm 95% sure in what I'm going to do, but I'd

39:12

love to hear your thoughts if for no other reason than

39:15

to laugh at my pain. Oh, baby. I'm

39:18

a working woman over 40 and after taking

39:20

a career step back after having our child,

39:22

not feeling super confident in the professional space,

39:25

but I have things going on and I'm doing well.

39:28

I don't know why I'm asking anything,

39:30

but I would love to hear you lots perspectives

39:32

anyway. Much love and thanks for all that you

39:34

do. Oh, we got the 5% percent. Oh,

39:37

yeah, yeah, girl. We can guess you to 100 bit.

39:39

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We are your drug. Don't you

39:41

worry about that. And you are about to overdose. Yes.

39:44

Don't you worry about it. We got... Yeah,

39:46

yeah, yeah, yeah. We got... This

39:48

is like Baltimore 99. Shut up.

39:53

He bought a wire out of it. He bought a wire

39:55

out of it. This is the

39:57

wire. I'm

40:00

gonna be one out of it! Girl.

40:04

Let me just put these funnies on. So,

40:09

and this is what I love about the way

40:11

God directs this podcast and the way in which

40:13

you can now just go back maybe

40:16

four or five episodes to the HIV

40:18

episode, where we had

40:20

a cousin right in who found out that

40:22

her husband is HIV

40:24

positive and very, very sick at the

40:27

moment. The other 5% should

40:29

be you considering how that could be your

40:31

future. Yeah. That's

40:34

what that other 5% means to be. You

40:37

have to hold yourself in such high regard.

40:40

And I'm not going to shame you for

40:42

going back the first time. I'm not, you

40:45

know, I know there are some people that would say, oh, you

40:47

know, after he had the child. The child

40:49

was four months old. I always say no one

40:51

should be making big decisions until the kid is

40:54

two. You're not feeling like yourself. You're not feeling

40:56

confident. But this is

40:58

like the WNBA version of

41:00

playing your face. He said,

41:02

he's glad you found out. You see them ones.

41:05

Men. You see them ones. Men. And

41:09

you shouldn't make any rash decisions. Yeah.

41:13

But laughing at people saying say hi to your

41:15

wife was not a rash decision. Ooh,

41:18

cool. Cool.

41:22

This is why the pom poms great. Like I said,

41:24

cause if body dies prematurely, everything's dead.

41:27

I ain't got time to be

41:29

circling these streets. The fuck? Let

41:31

me tell you what. When I

41:33

say this was one of

41:36

them stories where every turn, like,

41:38

what do you mean there's more? What do

41:40

you mean for the last 10 years? What

41:42

do you mean he's flirting

41:45

with other women? Other

41:48

women, escorts, craziest baby mums. Big

41:50

titty white girls. I'm

41:52

sorry. I'm

41:57

sorry. Big titty white girls.

42:00

I just got 575. The

42:02

fuck are you doing to my man at the end? I

42:04

just feel like I'm on a Caucasian to

42:06

the death. Yeah! You're

42:13

playing in my face and now

42:15

you have the gall and gumption

42:17

to stand there and be like,

42:19

I'm glad you found out. Don't

42:22

make any rash decisions. You're

42:25

not really willing to... Also, I

42:27

want to discuss the death

42:30

by a thousand cuts that is, I'm

42:32

going to be presumptuous here, but black men

42:35

cheating on black women with white women. There

42:38

is an extra

42:41

spice to that kind of pain because I've

42:43

watched it play out for

42:46

women in my real life time and time

42:48

again. And no matter

42:50

the relationships they then go into,

42:52

there is such a crap put in their

42:54

self worth by having

42:57

their husband secretly fantasize

42:59

about being with what they consider to be

43:01

the prize. I

43:03

actually know of a

43:05

woman whose husband's brother didn't

43:08

come to the wedding, the

43:10

husband's brother didn't come to the wedding because he said

43:12

to the husband to be who was his brother, I

43:15

can't believe you settled for such a blackie. Now,

43:26

there... Oh, this story

43:28

is horrendous. Cheating is never good. Did

43:31

you get a slither of

43:33

like a little head nod if

43:36

you were trying to be with women

43:38

that looks like me? Do you get

43:41

what I'm saying? But to then cheat

43:43

with someone who is so not me

43:45

does such a damage to a woman's

43:47

self worth that this is going to

43:49

be quite the mountain to get over

43:51

mentally and building back your confidence

43:54

is going to take time. But baby, this

43:56

ain't it. This is... You

43:58

know it's not it. Yeah. And

44:00

I'm hoping that in the time of

44:03

you typing this and you listening to

44:05

this You have set out

44:07

a plot because one thing about me I I

44:10

know I was joking saying I'll go to

44:12

prison. I'm not going to prison for no man, but

44:14

I will drain you Everything

44:17

that you have I'm so sorry.

44:19

No because you know, I hope

44:21

you're printing things off print because

44:23

your dad's gonna get a file

44:25

Your mom's gonna get a file

44:28

you you will no shame. I know shame

44:30

is Infusible for you trust

44:32

me. No shame For

44:35

on your shoulder. Yeah, the thing is

44:37

I'm a very forgiving person But the

44:39

the desert you just dragged me through

44:41

for the last 12 years Allow

44:44

me to repay you pen. Yeah of

44:47

what I have and you I promise

44:49

you You'll be glad

44:51

I left it at 10% yeah, I

44:53

hope a little plot and the plot

44:55

ocean is happening because Having

45:04

other women laugh at me I did

45:07

find it interesting that you said that

45:09

the Baby

45:11

baby mom didn't shut I did it shut it

45:13

down. She didn't shut it down Just

45:17

now do you think that's our responsibility Yeah

45:23

Me no, no, no, and I always want to

45:25

be really clear in this situations and this woman hasn't

45:27

gone into detail here Yeah, none of it is

45:29

any other woman's fault That's it and I always want

45:31

to make this crystal clear because when we see certain

45:34

things popping off on tick tock Yeah, I am left

45:36

behooved The people who

45:38

then want to make it about the

45:40

woman Even if it

45:42

is that kind of woman that's trying to

45:44

quote unquote take your man Yeah You know

45:46

I'm saying that she can only do so

45:49

much and the only I would say the

45:51

only time It's a woman who owes you

45:53

loyalty a friend a friend. Yeah, mister. Yeah,

45:55

mother. Yeah, other than that It's

45:58

not the way you want to place the blame

46:00

there. But that's not where the blame

46:02

she plays. It was not her fault. She didn't

46:04

flirt back. If she had, I would have been

46:06

like, okay, you kind of overstepped a mark. But

46:09

still, he made the commitment. So I just, God,

46:11

we're just on repeat. We're on repeat for seasons

46:13

and seasons. Once you're past this

46:15

season of your life, descend to men,

46:17

pull up the pussy drawbridge, love honey

46:19

exists. Like, I am friends with a

46:21

young woman who I want to say

46:23

is actually goals.

46:26

Okay. The way she's

46:29

actively mean to men. Sorry.

46:32

Single. And they run

46:35

to her feet. She told one guy, if

46:37

you are near me or within the 10

46:40

miles vicinity of me, don't wear a skinny

46:42

ripped jeans. Correct. No,

46:44

no, no, no, no. Because I love

46:46

it. I don't know how many times

46:48

we need to pander or hear certain

46:50

things. Because you know what's going on

46:52

right now. These little stupid internet shows

46:54

where men stand in front of

46:57

one. I saw a video that I've read

46:59

where the guy was like, I don't like

47:01

her clothes. I don't like. And the thing

47:04

is the girl bangs Jim. She's like a

47:06

lawyer. She's yeah. Everything was tick, tick, tick,

47:08

tick. And because of his insecurity, like

47:11

just put it's okay. Put the camera down.

47:13

Yeah. Everything needs to be filmed for content.

47:15

Also what I keep telling you guys, I

47:17

live for a little equilibrium. Yeah. And the

47:19

only way we're going to get that is

47:22

by being fucking mean. Be men. Not, you

47:26

don't even mean. Drop

47:28

the A. Be men. Because men are mean

47:30

all the time. I tell you what to

47:32

wear, how to dress. I tell you guys

47:34

this all the time. It's like people are

47:36

not getting it through their head. And

47:38

of course I love him, but I was the

47:40

meanest to body. It was like, how did you

47:43

get him? I was an absolute see you next

47:45

Tuesday. Be mean to all

47:47

the men who I was over giving over

47:49

present over. Where did

47:51

that, did you get what I'm saying? When

47:53

meanness entered the chat, be mean. Don't

47:56

be so accessible. Don't be so available.

47:58

Don't know you can't. access to me

48:00

the fuck there is a line around the corner you

48:02

don't want to learn for it. You don't want to

48:05

go in this millenia. Let me tell you some. Four

48:07

weeks missing and stay uploading on the slap and the

48:09

chain. A little Bob Risky slap don't hurt no one

48:11

yeah? Let me tell you something. Mummies of Lagos we

48:14

were outside. Mummies of

48:16

Lagos. Especially while you lot are dating. He

48:18

has to understand that he is forever

48:21

on the chase. And guess what? When

48:23

you're married you're still on the chase. Chasing!

48:25

And I know people are like ooh why

48:27

is he saying? Because it's fucking true. You're

48:29

still on the chase. Listen. You're still on

48:31

the hunt. You should still be developing yourself.

48:33

What you don't understand is, mum

48:35

live for the chase. I

48:38

think it's one thing to

48:40

just be mean for means sake. Yeah

48:42

okay. They love it. They

48:44

want a woman who they can't get that

48:46

hard to survive. I don't get that. I

48:48

just think they get it. They love it.

48:50

Like they want to feel as though they

48:52

have worked for you. There's something that just

48:54

does it for their perceptual masculinity. Yes and

48:56

honey let me tell you something. Get on

48:58

that train because you are chasing.

49:02

Aye. Aye. You are chasing. So

49:05

baby yeah this is a

49:07

no. It's time to put this marriage

49:09

to bed. Plot

49:11

before you put in other things to bed. Okay.

49:19

That was vocalized. That wasn't

49:21

an internal thought. Set out

49:23

loud. We

49:28

do wish you well. We do. But as

49:30

ever just think of that HIV episode. But

49:32

also you said you're 95% sure. You've

49:35

already made the decision. You just want

49:38

to eat your food cousins. I'm not

49:40

a killer. I'll push you. You've got

49:42

this and this time next

49:44

year you will be the one

49:46

saying ha ha. Listen. I promise

49:48

you that. Always. You will be

49:51

the one. Always. I promise you

49:53

that. These guys lives just

49:55

end up being in a shambles.

49:57

And then they end up alone at the

49:59

age of 17 no no what yeah I

50:01

know that I know the story too well

50:04

that is like actually what's happening right now

50:06

like it's a thing yeah elderly

50:09

men who were absolute tyrants

50:11

and being completely completely alone

50:13

because they just weren't nice

50:16

to anyone yeah

50:18

girl you got this always anyway well

50:20

said in the closet stays in the

50:22

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50:33

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