0:00

I wonder if there's just like a hundred Spider-Man characters on a board and they just closed

0:04

their eyes and threw that dart and it oh it landed on Maidam Webb all right we'll make

0:09

a movie about her do your research interns because I don't understand how you can make

0:14

a comic book movie with no superheroes in it.

0:23

Welcome to the Cinema Psycho Show the madhouse for film freaks and film fans of all types

0:26

I'm your host Brian Cottington, general fellow co-host and filmmaker John Woolscroft.

0:33

Brian was with me in Pittsburgh researching Sony when at the box office this movie died.

0:39

That's true, that's true I was researching it.

0:43

Yeah we're coming in hot in a movie that I did not really want to review at all right

0:51

John? Like I didn't want to review this movie.

0:53

I don't think you needed it either.

0:55

I remember I just I think I did like a Facebook live out of like therapy means because I ironically

1:01

saw it because it was I heard it was one of those movies that's like not like so Morbius

1:06

to me was just bad bad it was like boring bad but I heard that this one was an absolute

1:12

dumpster fire that can't be missed if you like bad movies and I have to say I was thoroughly

1:19

entertained but because of how awful it was but I needed to immediately go on like Facebook

1:25

live as therapy after I got out of the theater because I just I couldn't believe what I had

1:30

just witnessed.

1:33

The movie of course being Madame Web and done done done done and all I can think is yeah

1:41

like Sony I know that you can't just use Spider-Man anymore but for the average consumer like

1:49

me I grew up reading Spider-Man comics he was on my Mount Rushmore of comics like I

1:54

got every single Spider-Man comic I could so I know who Morbius is I know who Madame

1:59

Web is I know who Craven is I think that one's been pushed back again but the average person

2:05

outside of venom and the villains that you don't want to make a movie about because they're

2:09

just villain villains like nobody knows who these people are nobody's going oh boy finally

2:15

an adaptation of Madame Web.

2:18

I only knew about Madame Web because of the 90s Spider-Man animated series that was that

2:27

was for me my only exposure because I don't wrong I like Spider-Man but he's like he's

2:34

not really on my Mount Rushmore because I'm a Batman person like yeah as you know you

2:40

know I could go all to live long day and all the Batman villains and all the Batman side

2:44

characters and I know all of them because that's my fandom oh shut up you DC shill

2:50

fine fuck you I don't care but like for me Madame Web was always this old spinster who

2:58

lived in this bizarro dimension and was just like a pain in Peter Parker's ass like she

3:07

just showed up out of nowhere like ha ha ha well let's go do help you do this and ha ha

3:11

let's go help you do that and like she just seemed like the anti Obi-Wan Kenobi if you

3:17

will she seemed kind of like an asshole like wish.com Obi-Wan Kenobi yes it's like oh she's

3:24

trying to help him be better a better Spider-Man it's like dude's already fucking Spider-Man

3:29

like I don't know how much more better you can make him I think there was one episode

3:34

where she helped him when he turned to like man spider I think that was one thing but

3:39

like I just I never I was like okay we're gonna and like I heard they were gonna make

3:43

this and I'm like so Dakota Johnson's gonna wear like old lady makeup is that what we're

3:49

doing oh no no so Brian this is Hollywood we can't have an old lady ew no that's gonna be

3:55

gross yeah Aunt May is a smoke show now you know like yeah Aunt May just has to be kind of like

4:01

a fetus next time mm-hmm as we said we said giant titty yeah oh fuck so the necklace around

4:14

the nipple you know oh gross gross dude I could already tell our listeners and viewers right now

4:21

that this is probably gonna be a dumpster fire of an episode so it's gonna be a weird like if

4:26

you like those good job you're gonna enjoy this one if you don't like those sorry well what tell

4:34

you I don't think that there's any better place to start with this episode I got synopsis for it

4:40

though okay all right before you deliver that like okay how and why how did this movie get made why

4:47

did it get made I feel like that's gonna be the bulk of what we talk about but yeah what is the

4:52

okay so the official synopsis from IMDB because that's where I'm getting this from is Cassandra

5:00

Webb is a New York metropolis metropolis it's such a weird thing is a New York metropolis

5:08

paramedic who begins to demonstrate signs of clairvoyance forced to challenge revelations

5:14

about her past she needs to safeguard three young women from a deadly adversary who wants

5:20

them destroyed yeah well I'm fair and that's that's fair but that's it but if you get into

5:28

like the details of it you know you're not supposed to know the details John like if you

5:33

bake a chocolate cake and you put a turd inside of it on the outside you're not gonna know it

5:38

has feces in it you have to you have to start pulling the cake apart yeah I mean yeah that

5:45

German chocolate frosting really isn't that's that's shit okay Bavarian cream it's not Bavarian

5:52

cream it is human feces oh but but to answer kind of your question John after getting that synopsis

5:59

out of the way again for the people who don't know what the fuck we're talking about I have no clue

6:05

I really I got I got nothing on why this character in this movie with this director

6:16

got greenlit I don't I almost wish we had our friends from how this got greenlit on to ask him

6:23

how the fuck did this get greenlit because I seriously don't know other than just Sony had

6:29

a bucket of marvel shit they had to put out and this fit the bucket it's like those people that

6:37

are wealthy enough to be able to do this where they throw like a dart at a map and wherever

6:40

it lands that's where they're going to vacation I wonder if they just people yeah I wonder if

6:44

there's just like a hundred Spiderman characters on a board and they just close their eyes and

6:49

through that dart and it oh it landed on Maidam Webb all right we'll make a movie about her do

6:55

your research interns because I don't understand how you can make a comic book movie with no

7:01

superheroes in it yeah I don't either and it and not only that John but like it they they have

7:09

superheroes in it for about 45 seconds total like for the whole two-hour runtime just long enough

7:20

for the 45 seconds for the perverts in the back to spank bank it to Sydney Sweeney I have some

7:26

thoughts on that whole thing like I got a lot of thoughts and this is from a director who I mean

7:32

I don't I don't like throwing shade on directors who are new because I get it but this director

7:38

S.J. Clarkson had no film narrative film credits to her name yeah wait Brian I thought this movie

7:48

she did a lot of tv yeah she did a lot of tv she did the defenders a couple episodes of defenders

7:54

she did anatomy of a scandal orange is new black so like and Jessica Jones so here here's my here's

8:02

my theory because you asked the question how did this get made and why did it get made so here's

8:10

my theory okay Sony trying to be progressive okay decides let's go ahead and get a female director

8:20

to do a female superhero movie without having to actually like I don't know put them on a level

8:26

playing field and actually make it good so we'll throw the most bare minimum shit at the movie

8:32

right and it's like oh well that director she did a couple episodes orange new black she did the

8:38

defenders she did Jessica Jones so she knows lady female superhero movies so why don't we just give

8:44

her the most you know terrible superhero movie with no thought at all on the story and the care

8:54

of the characters and let's just give her that and like watch it crash and burn well I don't know

8:59

what the point is of hiring a female director if our main character sucks the entire movie

9:04

none of the female characters have any unique qualities about them other than

9:09

teenagers and and there's a there is a scene in this movie where they're learning CPR

9:16

but I couldn't believe that this is a female director because this scene looks like they're

9:20

humping I really don't understand that at all there it takes the close-up shots of each of

9:27

them learning CPR and it looks like they're just riding a cock they're just getting their

9:32

guts rearranged and I'm like this seems like a guy directed this scene I can't believe a woman

9:36

directed this well not only that but I mean there are a lot of scenes in this outside of that one

9:44

where it is total like hey how much male gaze can we get in this like I know specifically the

9:53

diner scene where they're dancing on like a table and Sydney Sweeney is doing her of course best

10:00

like you know hey I'm gonna look look hot and slutty you know in a school girl outfit

10:08

but Brian she has glasses okay I you've you've pulled me into this John okay I have very serious

10:17

problem I don't have anything against Sydney Sweeney and I have nothing against her characters

10:22

who are sex positive and that sort of thing I think that's great I think we need more of that

10:27

but at the same time Sydney Sweeney plays a character who I kid you not is dressed in a

10:37

very very seductive school girl outfit and I only say that because I used to work at Party

10:45

City a long time ago and the type of outfit she was wearing was very similar to the costumes that

10:50

we sold kinky school girl yes yes so it's like let me get this straight you've got Sydney Sweeney

10:58

who by all accounts people who are going to see this movie who are perverts are going to see it

11:03

for her and you put her in a sexy school girl outfit and on top of that you also have this

11:11

this idea that Hollywood is full of pedophiles so it's like what the fuck is going on here

11:17

like I'm watching this I'm just going like are we seriously going to just

11:20

put this this this this actress in a pedophile's like wet dream is that what we're doing

11:27

because that's what it looks like I don't know John what did you think oh yeah they they knew

11:32

what they were doing and and that was it's totally the cast and couch thing like get

11:36

get that chick from Euphoria with the big boobs in here and then we'll yeah we'll school girl her

11:41

but what really drove me insane was that it's 28 year olds or I would say there's 26 year olds

11:47

playing 16 year olds but their lines are like they're six year olds like they're like the

11:55

dialogue they're like little kids but they're supposed to be teenagers but they're clearly

11:59

young adult women but John don't you think that all women talk about you know

12:07

the their their family lives in the woods right outside of New York City and then say that they

12:16

got to go get get food because they're hungry and go to the diner that's right outside the woods

12:23

outside of New York City you don't think everyone does that the four-star diner yeah the four-star

12:27

diner I just everything about this movie just baffles me I don't even know really know where

12:33

to start because John I fell asleep through this movie okay I I listener look look directly at me

12:41

at the camera here okay if you're if you're on video if you're not okay you're just hearing me

12:46

talk to you I tried really hard to watch this movie all the way through without passing the

12:54

fuck out but I'm gonna be honest with you I passed the fuck out twice okay I watched so I all in all

13:02

together I got one complete viewing but I got it with two half-ass viewings because this was so bad

13:12

and so boring that it caused me to fall asleep while watching it on Netflix so I'm just saying

13:18

that in advance John had the luxury of seeing this thing in the movie theater which I'm surprised John

13:22

you did not fall asleep but me I'm sorry I fell asleep through this thing because it was so fucking

13:29

boring and that may be where we're gonna start with is how fucking boring how can you take a

13:34

superhero movie and just make it uninteresting and just boring um not have any superheroes in it

13:46

that was a good start like there's um a tv show on true tv called impractical jokers and it's about

13:52

you know uh four buddies then hidden cameras and they compete to embarrass each other because they

13:56

have like earpieces in and they have to tell their friend to do something like really outrageous

14:01

and if they don't do it they lose the round and one of the games they do in that show is like

14:05

where they pitch a new product but the other guy has created their product for them and it's usually

14:10

something horrible and then they have to like pitch it and and try to convince people that it's not

14:15

the worst idea ever and one of the pitches was for a new video game called superman just the clark kent

14:23

stuff so like you basically just have to go around like picking up clark kent's dry cleaning

14:29

and shit like that you never get to play as superman and that's really i feel like this movie

14:34

is that it's like madame web but but just the non-superhero stuff yeah it's like did you ever

14:41

want to know what your superheroes do on their off hours because that's that's what madame web is

14:49

you know all your superheroes they go to a baby shower and make it very very fucking awkward

14:56

that's what happens she sucks by the way can we just mention that yes madame web sucks i'm sorry

15:03

cassandra web she is unbearable and there is there's a term in screenwriting called save the cat

15:11

moment where you put something in the early part of your movie in the example saving a cat out of

15:15

a tree or something that makes your character likeable and makes you want to root for them

15:19

she saves like this woman as a paramedic her and uncle ben are paramedics ben parker's in it for

15:29

some reason uh listen if i can't get spider-man i'm gonna get uncle ben okay adam scott is like

15:35

the only saving grace in this movie but um but yeah they save a woman's life and the doc has come

15:40

up like i i thought you would want to know that she's gonna make it and like cassandra's just like

15:45

who like the person you brought in oh look here's her kid that she drew you a picture because you

15:51

you saved uh her mom and she's like what the fuck do i do and ben has to be like take the picture

15:57

she goes uh yeah whatever kid and i'm like it's it's not to save the cat moment it's the shoot the

16:02

cat moment but john she's jaded because her mom died when she was in the amazon okay researching

16:11

spiders yeah researching spiders and how dare she research spiders and be pregnant in the amazon

16:19

that's why she's jaded um but no you're you're right in the amazon researching spiders right

16:25

before she died but but you're right she she is the most unlikable protagonist out there

16:33

like every time even her interactions with uh the other future spider women um are just annoying

16:42

like she she hates them up until the last like what 15 minutes or so yeah yeah after well by the

16:51

way uh for anybody that hasn't seen this movie thank you for listening to this yeah thank you

16:56

mad rand rica but all three of these of these teenage girls they're they're all

17:03

teenagers and air quotes by the way yeah they're all brought together because the villain of this

17:08

movie who i guess he's just supposed to look like anti spider-man because like that'll look in the

17:13

trailer you'll people will think spider-man spider-man's in it yeah um he has premonitions

17:18

of them killing uh of the three of them killing him so he tries to like hunt them down and madame

17:25

web now has psychic powers because she like drowned in the river or some shit i don't know um

17:32

but yeah so she like kidnaps these kids and she goes hey shut up you little

17:35

fucks just shut the fuck up i'm gonna save your fucking lives and you're gonna go in the woods

17:40

and you're gonna stay there and i'm gonna leave you for a long time in the woods but just fucking

17:44

trust me you fucks and they go oh okay we trust you implicitly because we read the script and if

17:51

we trust you crazy lady who abducted us from a train station and just the the little mistakes

17:59

this movie makes it's it reminds me like it's safe for like a 16 year old wrote a script and

18:04

you had to be like like in a creative writing class and you go ho ho little billy um i see

18:09

what you were trying to do there but um like when she she takes a cab she steals a cab uh in order

18:18

to like get the kids to safety and then she pulls off the front and back license plate

18:25

but it's a fucking cab on top of it it has the cab number and on the side of the car so that's

18:31

what i would tell a little 16 year old billy hey nice try little billy but you know they could they

18:37

could find a cab by uh the top and and the side of it and also any police officer will pull over

18:43

a car that doesn't have a license plate but nice try little billy yeah it's almost like they

18:49

should have uh stolen a regular car instead of like a cab you know right yeah like whatever

18:55

if you're gonna pull that shit like steal a regular car sony probably has a partnership

19:00

with an automobile right like i mean sony has apparently a lot of partnerships that were

19:06

clearly shown off in this this movie brian when you said the movie was directed by a woman i was

19:12

like oh i thought i thought it was directed by a can of pepsi i thought it was directed by a can

19:16

of pepsi or a psp which and i was not even available in 2004 2003 or 2004 three yeah okay

19:26

yeah it wasn't even available in 2003 which i don't i thought sony was a subsidiary of coke

19:34

and i guess i'm wrong about that because remember we watched jack and jill that was a sony picture

19:40

that was a sony picture yeah and they had coca cola everywhere in that thing i wonder if they just

19:46

traded partnerships or something because i'm like i thought because also in the ghostbusters 2016

19:53

remake they had them drinking out of uh just generic cups when they got papa john's pizza

20:00

because papa john's carries pepsi products and they couldn't show pepsi because they also had

20:05

a partnership with coca cola in the movie so i don't somewhere some boardroom they just must

20:11

have changed soda companies i don't know my guess is that pepsi was like hey uh can we get a crap

20:17

ton of money and put it in your superhero movie uh and just have it where everyone who is in the

20:25

movie is drinking a pepsi and it's infuriating because she it's really bad well i don't i know

20:31

i know product placement is going to be in movies yeah i think that as moviegoers we expect that

20:37

but like it is so blatantly like in your face you almost it almost is like dakota johnson is

20:43

holding the can of pepsi at the uh like the it's the the baby shower um for peter parker and

20:51

she's holding the can of pepsi and it's almost like looking at the camera looking directly at

20:55

you the audience going wink wink nudge pepsi products well see that drove me absolutely

21:02

insane because like i guess as a way for her to continue to hold the label at the audience

21:08

she's like incapable of opening a can of soda i noticed that too yeah and she's like as an

21:14

actress she just made a choice where she's like okay i'm just going to fidget with this can

21:18

because like i guess maybe i'm at this baby shower i'm uncomfortable so maybe i'm not like focusing

21:22

enough on you know cracking a can open but this way i can just hold the label in front of the

21:27

camera lens the whole time it's like just drink the fucking coke or yeah drink the coke okay

21:33

the rc cola drink the rc cola drink the jolt god damn it dakota johnson um all right well before

21:40

we get any further into this i do i do have as our long-running uh i'm excited for this our long

21:47

running uh segment on this podcast of showing some terrible fucking reviews about this movie

21:53

from other people aside from ourselves so i got four um three that i pulled from uh letterboxed

22:01

which is i love letterbox so much by the way i'm not even just saying that as someone who like

22:07

likes to look at reviews but my god the reviews on letterbox are amazing for every movie because

22:14

you can really find like the worst of the worst and i got one from amazon uh no not amazon but

22:18

imdb so there's like a okay one there but let's take a look at these john and you have not seen

22:25

these right i have not seen you have not seen these all right so let's look at the first one

22:28

here the first one is what is what in the pepsi cola did i just watch was it written by ai why

22:38

were all the villains lines done as adr does cpr cure everything why do they make britney's toxic

22:47

also a certifiable boop feels so sinister

22:53

well the last part of that it was 2003 so there's only one song that came out in 2003

23:00

because you know uh britney came out with toxic and all the other recording artists went

23:04

shit we gotta wait another year the song's too incredible it's too good it's the only song it's

23:09

the only song that came out that year by the way did you see blockbuster did did did you see the

23:14

that she wants to watch american idol did you know it's 2003 did you know did you did you know

23:22

did you know did you know that things were a little different in 2003 did you know there was a blockbuster

23:32

there is a thing you couldn't go and buy or you had to go and rent a tape john did you know that

23:38

tvs were square what's a catheter tube tvs were square and then did you know that apparently you

23:47

watch a christmas carol in the middle of fucking july yeah that was everything is baffling who the

23:56

fuck who the fuck watches a christmas carol the middle of july like i don't know when this movie

24:01

takes place but i'm assuming it's got to be the spring or summertime right there's no snow it's

24:06

new york it doesn't seem like it's sweltering hot so maybe it's like may but still yeah i can

24:12

understand i don't i mean i don't understand it but abstractly i can understand some people

24:16

like to do christmas in july that makes me want to puke but i understand some people like if you

24:21

really love christmas like oh it's only six months away but may what the fuck yeah it made no sense

24:28

to me i'm just like why are you watching a christmas carol in the middle of fucking july or may or

24:33

whenever whenever that isn't christmas like if it was snowing i could be like all right okay makes

24:37

sense to me but no no but but uh this person's review i love how they just immediately went to

24:43

like the pepsi bullshit and it also leads into talking a little bit about the really weird

24:51

dubbing of the villain in this i i have a theory on that i did a double take

24:59

the minute i saw the first time i'm like do they seriously like

25:02

adr this guy's dialogue the whole time and they did not not the whole time and see that's almost

25:09

the whole time i have a theory on this and i also have a humongous complaint about this okay i don't

25:15

know if i should do it as like hey brian i have a theory on it is that there seems to be

25:25

just ruin the audio for our audio only just oh good jest but um i think that when you make a

25:33

movie like this by committee you want to have a lot of they probably tell the director and the

25:39

cinematographer get a lot of shots from the back of their head get a lot of shots of them in silhouette

25:45

get a lot of shots of them like picking things up with their hand like the second unit like holding

25:50

things so that we can cut to that shot in case we need to to put in a new piece of dialogue because

25:55

these movies you know it's not by an auteur who has a script ready to go you know when they made

26:03

the movie it's not spike lee doing do the right thing this is still being written as it's being

26:09

shot and then they even re they continue to write it in post-production so what they do is they go

26:15

oh wouldn't have been great if we had had him say this or the studio's like this might be confusing

26:19

so have them say this to explain something and so then they just cut to you know you hear if you

26:24

listen very closely you can hear his onset audio and then he'll turn his head and it'll be completely

26:32

uh audio that was done in the sound booth and they're jarring how different they are from

26:38

each other but they they did it so that they could continue to write the movie in post-production

26:44

but here's my question how does a sony movie that's a tent pole you know superhero movie

26:53

how do you not equalize your audio i would yell at my students if they made that mistake this is

27:01

over 100 million dollar property well not even that john i mean it's it's clear to me at least

27:09

that there was a story that had been established at the time of shooting just as you said like

27:16

they they clearly must have changed that story and obviously they were like well we can't change

27:23

everything but we can just change this villain's lines because everyone's reacting to what the

27:28

villain is doing so like i think they just made his story and his arc much more simplified and

27:34

stupid and this is what we get but you're you're right like they they clearly didn't care too much

27:42

at all about this movie to the point where they didn't even attempt even attempt to blend in or

27:49

even match like the mouth movements like i here's the thing too i like i i know from just my day job

27:58

that there is technology out there that can manipulate your mouth and make it appear like

28:05

you're saying something after you've recorded it that technology exists right now that's not

28:11

something that didn't exist when this came out this existed you know like three or four years ago

28:16

so if that technology is already there why could that not have been used here you're telling me

28:22

again john like like you said that sony doesn't have access to that that they are like yeah sorry

28:29

we don't care that just it all it all breeds to me that no one who actually was putting the money

28:37

and the vision behind this gave two shits outside of we need to get something out the door that has

28:45

marvel and the spider-man character in it and this is it it's fit our bucket for that time of

28:52

the year when do you think they stopped caring because it obviously wasn't in the script stage

28:59

because you look at something like nightmare in realm street four and you find out it's like

29:03

had eight passes on the script by like seven different writers you know that movie if they

29:09

care that much about it that you know that they they somebody said looked at the the final script

29:14

for this movie went this is genius let's shoot it and i don't know if it could have happened on set

29:20

i just at what point yeah did they just they just give up caring because there's too many

29:27

problems with this movie that could have been to some degree fixed that they just they just

29:33

didn't care and they just gave up on it well i i mean i i really believe that that i think there

29:38

is i mean i hate to say this i do think there was sexism involved from the standpoint of would you

29:44

see a male superhero movie go through this level of bullshit i don't think you would yeah you could

29:52

point to to mobius or morbius wherever the fuck it is but even that one even that one you know

30:01

as terrible as it is and it's pretty fucking bad got a second life as being the bad movie it leaned

30:08

into it right it's more than time it yeah yeah so like it it is kind of it's it's done a tommy was

30:16

so if you will and become kind of that like yeah this is the terrible b movie superhero film but

30:22

with madame web like even if they thought oh yeah we're gonna do that with this one i don't think

30:28

they just cared and i think part of it comes down to like well no one gives a shit it's a female-led

30:33

movie it's a female led director who cares i will write it off who cares just like with back girl

30:39

do you you really think that madame web was like a tax write-off i no i don't think it was a tax

30:44

write-off i think that their ability to give two fucks went out the door when they're just like

30:51

well it's a madame it's madame web no one gives two shits yeah we're gonna put it out there yeah

30:56

we're gonna do this because we maybe there was they were contractually obligated to put out

31:01

a marvel film at a certain time and this is the one they put out they couldn't do venom three

31:08

they couldn't do craven the hunter so they're like well we'll put out madame web and yeah we'll put

31:13

it out of time like this came out what in march or february mart march or april i think it was

31:20

it was warmer outside but there was still a briskness to the air so i think it might have

31:24

been late march or early no this came out in february oh did it oh it came out february

31:29

seasonally warm so let's let's put this in here that's right they picked valentine's day they

31:33

picked valentine's day because i thought people might want to ironically watch it like a couples

31:38

thing like let's go around yes which i'm sorry if you take your date to see madame web uh you're

31:46

you're you're you're not going to have a second date because any person who who is worth their

31:56

sanity would be like why does this person hate me just take me to a terrible fucking movie what

32:03

did i do you know well i remember there was like two friends i had from the burrow bar

32:11

and i took them to see uh quantum of solace the second daniel great bond movie the worst one of

32:18

his run and it really is the worst right it was like almost awkward between us for like a week or

32:24

it's like i'm sorry i took you to this shit movie my casino royale was good i thought this would be

32:29

good too fellas blink if you haven't gotten your father's day gift yet yeah we thought so

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father's day i don't have any you don't have any kids and you got like 30 of them so shut up i

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don't have 30 of them why don't you tell everybody a little bit more about why this is the ideal

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manscaped you came from your dad's balls when he banged your mom

37:05

yeah yeah but man it just it was so bad all right let's let's let's move on to another review

37:10

because i got i got three more of these oh yes yes yes yes let's see what review number two is

37:16

it was fun bad for the first half and bad bad for the second highlights dakota johnson looking like

37:22

she's about to ageable i don't know what that is the entire time water birth demonstration

37:30

ben wyatt is still ben hacker shoshana life is strange bird moment and the the whack ass dubbing

37:39

okay whatever that is low lights maddie's character being so unbearable that it could inspire

37:48

misogyny in the most devout feminists on earth possibly the stupidest elementary school essay

37:55

ending i have ever witnessed two minute flight to peru the whack ass dubbing

38:05

even your doggy is loving it too it's like i got i got thoughts too

38:10

yeah but this is why you should watch the video version this is why you should watch your video

38:13

you can see john's dog yeah um yeah but the whack ass dubbing like another adr reference uh there

38:21

but yeah i don't it's just another thing like i almost feel that we should be going plot point

38:26

by pop but if we did it would be six hours can't that that she's like hey ben these are three kids

38:33

that i kidnapped can you can they live with you while i fly to peru and he just goes yeah okay

38:43

sure uh do they have any allergies peanut allergies or anything i should know about

38:47

any of them gluten intolerant these kids you've kidnapped or more like here are these

38:53

28 year olds who are pretending to be 17 year olds who are a very attractive have fun ben

39:02

yeah that's what i'm just saying the whole thing just feels really icky and weird

39:09

it just does i'm sorry well and maybe it's just me projecting but maybe it's just because i'm

39:15

getting a vibe from the movie that's just this is just bad well and these yeah gross high school

39:21

25 year olds 25 year olds that none of them like have parents but somehow live in new york and go

39:30

to school and live their lives like are they in foster homes like what well i was gonna say i love

39:35

the fact that no one's parents gives two shits that these kids have been kidnapped and gone missing

39:41

no well i mean the one like she's like my mom's in an insane asylum after my dad left her and the

39:47

other one's like my my mom died when i was i don't know and the other i have no parents and then i

39:53

live in the apartment myself and the other one's like my parents are wealth wealthy assholes and

39:58

they live in another country and i'm just on my own so it's like okay so this like paramedics

40:05

who goes blind just decides i'm gonna adopt not that they're ever adoption but adopt like three

40:12

16 or 17 year old girls there's no judge on the planet wouldn't be like this is some kind of

40:17

creepy sex grooming you're not well especially especially the way that that that cassandra web

40:26

looks at the end of it she looks like a fucking pimp she looks like she's like she's got these

40:34

weirdo fucking sunglasses on she's in a professor xavier wheelchair and she's just like i don't need

40:42

to see anymore i'm fine everything is fine i can see the future now i can tell what chinese food

40:50

you've got there so yeah imagine imagine her coming into like a custody hearing and going up

41:00

going up to the judge be like i know that the children will be much better with me because

41:05

i can see the future because i've got magic spider web powers they'd say lock her the fuck up

41:16

and a couple of things she got hit in the face with a firework underwater

41:19

and that yeah how did that how did that make her a paraplegic but yeah but yeah i was gonna lead

41:24

to that like how why is she in a wheelchair and if she's completely black blind why does she need

41:31

the sunglasses at all i don't know because people don't want to see her weird funky eyeballs

41:37

you know it's i imagine it's hard for an actor to have to pretend to be blind so it's just like

41:42

give me some sunglasses that blatantly black out my eye so i don't have to pretend to be blind

41:48

i guess so but i i agree with you like it the movie does not do a good job of saying like this is why

41:55

she's in a wheelchair and this is why she's blind like you know i go back to like x-men first class

42:03

did a very good job of telling us and showing us why charles xavier is in a wheelchair like

42:13

that's one of the most pivotal scenes in the movie and it makes complete sense for the relationship

42:19

he has with magneto throughout the entire film that he ultimately is the one who caused him to

42:23

be you know in a wheelchair so i mean it makes sense for that and you're given kind of a very

42:29

clear explanation of it they kind of get a little muddy down the road when we get to x-men apocalypse

42:37

to explain how he goes bald won't hold that then personally on that one but just saying like

42:44

for that first movie it gives us that this is how the character became the character

42:50

really succinctly this one fireworks factory explosion that's it

42:57

it and how wait so i'm sorry this is great hurting your brain yeah me just deeply

43:08

sighing into the microphone sorry everybody but just if this is supposed to be 2003 and ben

43:15

parker's sister is pregnant well it's not his sister it's a sister-in-law or yeah but that's

43:22

supposed to be peter right yeah it's it's peter parker baby peter it's baby peter yes

43:28

but in these movies he's supposed to be like 18 but that would make him 21

43:35

yeah does anybody care but also isn't it kind of important for spider-man to be the first

43:43

quote-unquote spider-man because he's spider-man that's yeah so if there's apparently

43:50

when he got his spider powers there were already spider women and where we're not spider women yet

43:57

john okay they're not spider women yet they're gonna become spider women but you're right the

44:02

timing doesn't match up because if there may be what five years removed from being spider people

44:08

then what's the point of spider-man being the first spider-man because he's got yeah as you said like

44:13

18 years yeah yeah it doesn't make sense i just don't understand why the words why and how weren't

44:20

used 300 times in the script read i again i go back to this was the the lowest hanging fruit

44:29

and i think there was i think there was an element of sexism involved about just not given two shits

44:36

about this character not given two shits about the story the direction all of it it just it

44:43

you can't treat a movie this badly if you care and clearly no one cared you know what i mean

44:51

yeah that's just kind of where my thought process is all right let's jump to review number three

44:58

all right all right this movie is filled with funny hot garbage but there was one thing

45:05

that couldn't make me stop laughing because sony made this there is obvious product placement we

45:12

see an extra plane on his psp the movie really wants you to know that it takes place during 2003

45:19

like really really bad the psb came out in 2005 so he forgot when their own product came out

45:27

that's fucking hilarious yeah and that's true because i could have told them when it came out

45:35

because i remember i was just beginning my sophomore year in college and this one kid

45:42

like we were on break in my 2d art class and this kid had a psp we all just kind of like

45:49

gathered around and we're like ooh ah look at it oh it's so pretty you know because like you've

45:55

never seen a portable gaming system that had that kind of graphics and everything uh to that point

46:01

so yeah i could have told them when it came out because i could track it to when i was in college

46:08

if i could remember you think the sony executives could i mean i'm not surprised i think with a lot

46:14

of these large companies they're so siloed and and think about how much turnover was there

46:23

um so like you know it's it's very possible that maybe they were like yeah we don't know

46:31

when the sony psp came out you know maybe you could google that shit but i i don't think again

46:39

i go back to this they didn't care john none of them cared no one who had sony gave two shits

46:46

about this movie um you know think about it it came out on valentine's day is there ever any

46:55

good movie that comes out on valentine's day outside of dracula from 1931 that's one

47:03

this see i could understand it if it was like some romance comedy you know uh with like back

47:08

in the day like meg ryan you know or or you know something like that or you know who like cate

47:13

hudson you know or whoever the the new cate hudson is i'm old you know if it's a romance movie i could

47:20

see like that coming out on valentine's day because you know you want to get your girl all

47:25

horned up and you might be able to rearrange her guts in the back of your mom's you know 2016 honda

47:30

civic but it's very it's very um specific john i'm just saying like that sounds like you've had a

47:38

little little experience hey i was married in 2016 and my mom never owned a honda civic so

47:45

fair enough yeah but yeah but for this movie like i said i i do think it was like hey babe

47:51

let's all go ironically let's get high and go ironically watch madame web like they knew they

47:57

had a turd on their hand so they were trying to get people to go ironically watch it and

48:04

yeah i mean they made a turd they knew they they made a turd they knew they were making a turd

48:10

and i'm so sorry craven like you're doomed no matter what even if even if it's decent like after

48:18

morbius and this movie you're dead on arrival pal you're screwed yeah no you're not wrong

48:26

and the same goes for venom 3 you know like that those movies are fucking both

48:33

venom 1 and venom 2 in their years ended up on my top 10 worst movies of the years list but

48:41

they still made a quadrillion bazillion dollars so i imagine venom 3 will suck but i do think

48:47

that it's going to be bulletproof from the other marvel movies for some reason just like the

48:52

the jurassic world franchise it doesn't matter how bad they are they still make a

48:55

trillion bazillion dollars i put that on tom hardy and the funny moments within

49:04

the venom series i really think that i think those couple pieces here and there are what keeps this

49:11

thing going if they lost that it'd be dead like 100 dead i think it's just venom i think people

49:19

love a good anti-hero you know yeah it's got that wolverine kind of vibes you know like is

49:25

he like good is he bad and yeah and ask todd mcfarlane and he'll say hi i'm todd i created

49:31

venom mcfarlane remember me all right let's get to our last review this one's a this one's a wordy

49:40

one this is oh 50 shades of mess it's astonishing to think that sony could put out a worse product

49:49

than 2022's morbius but boy madame webb manages it it is embarrassing is an embarrassing mess

49:58

talented stars wasted on probably one of the worst comic book movies ever which nobody asked for

50:04

filled with atrocious dialogue awkward editing and laughable structure it's a clunky poorly written

50:11

messy and sloppy movie packed with some mediocre editing and performance the concept is interesting

50:18

on paper but it couldn't be saved due to its terrible execution madame webb simply lacked

50:23

the spark it needed in nearly every department there is simply nothing memorable in this movie

50:29

except maybe some superhero costumes but that then doesn't redeem the fact this movie is bad

50:34

so yeah madame webb is yet another disappointing entry into sony's spider-less universe it's like

50:40

a love letter to an era of superhero films that people largely want to forget the pepsi ads are

50:48

stand out it falls short of what could have been a decent movie in the hands of someone else

50:54

20 years ago damn brava bravo i think you yeah i think that succinctly puts it

51:03

yeah yeah i mean this does feel like a movie honestly john that would be popular 20 years ago

51:16

like around like like daredevil and catwoman that type of yes yes this feels like it would fit

51:24

those types of movies where there was no substance where this was before the mcu

51:31

so like we didn't know you know that you could have good superhero films

51:40

now that's i want to preface this by saying this is the good like phase one phase two

51:48

phase three mcu films okay i'm not talking about the new ones because clearly those have sucked

51:54

but you know before you you had iron man and captain america and those movies like this

52:01

feels like one of those movies that that was in that the intervening years before between like

52:08

batman begins coming out and the spider-man movies like you had those couple years here

52:14

and there where it's just like yeah these are really terrible and i don't know why we keep

52:19

watching them every studio yeah ghost rider yes yeah yeah oh that's saved by having nick cage in

52:27

it nick cage says everything you could have nick cage taking a dump for two hours and people would

52:35

still go to watch it just because you want to see like what what faces he's gonna make like a like

52:42

an andy warhol type movie three hours of nick cage oh my god can you imagine if andy warhol

52:48

was alive and had nick cage at his disposal like you imagine like i could imagine that if andy

52:55

warhol had nick cage he would do like andy warhol's the mummy with nick cage as the mummy

53:05

and all he does is just eat peanut butter off his belly for 19 hours he'd be like uh

53:09

oh mommy i'm in my tap i've been lost in the bump and the thing forever

53:21

yeah fuck man just ruined my voice there for a podcast i i do this for you all by the way

53:29

just want you to know this i destroyed my voice for you all well brian you had mentioned you know

53:33

like the underlying sexism in this movie can we also discuss how it portrays people in the

53:40

who live in the amazon oh my god yeah they're superhero jungle people until they're not well

53:47

they're superhero jungle people who all seem to have gone to the same tailor as peter parker

53:54

in the future yeah well first like their costumes all look like spider-man at the beginning of the

54:01

movie when it's cassandra webb's mom pregnant with her like they have to take her to this healing

54:08

body of water i don't know don't ask but um it's the same body of water that thor had his vision

54:14

in yeah and but they're like they're dressed in like the most stereotypically racist like

54:19

uh amazonian garb you know that like white people would think people on the amazon wear

54:26

but then years later when cassandra visits the amazon the same guy who saved her once she was

54:35

in the womb it's just dressed in like street clothes they ran out of money that's just weird

54:41

though yeah it's it's weird because like again one like their their their costumes in the beginning

54:50

are are literally vines they're in the shape of peter parker's spider-man costume like i'm not

54:58

even kidding you when i say that they literally look like the spider-man costume with the webbing

55:03

and everything um and then yeah like it's almost like they ran out of money what i also find

55:10

hilarious about the the peruvian rainforest trip uh is just that it takes place anyway because

55:18

literally no time has passed and that's that's a problem that i have with this movie as a whole

55:24

is that it doesn't understand like the concept of time within this movie like like there's moments

55:33

where they're in new york city they're escaping new york city then they end up in the fucking

55:39

woods somewhere okay and then they end up and it's it's not like the woods in new york because

55:45

i've driven through new york and maybe i've missed missed the places you know that have the heavy

55:50

wooded areas but like if they went outside you know outside the outskirts to the wooded areas

55:59

of new york city you know time would have passed a bit so maybe be night time by the time they arrive

56:06

there brian they went through the holland tunnel to josey let's just let's just say for all intents

56:12

and purposes that they ended up in the cat scales okay okay that's not a short trip yeah that's what

56:19

i'm saying it's not a short trip you'd end up it would take a while to get there you might not get

56:24

there until it's night time so like there's that and then it's she's immediately then jumping back

56:30

to new york city to go to her apartment to stare at her mom's notes that she's had that basically

56:35

clearly say oh yes the spider people are real and the spider shit's real and all this shit's real and

56:40

oh yeah here's the villain who's been chasing you which again i go like you never read that before

56:45

you did well she always seemed jaded against her mom but but it also gives her an opportunity to

56:51

just mouth exposition to no one i.e. us the audience yes there's a lot of that and even like

56:58

i but you've just kind of finishing my point there you know then she just says i'm going to

57:04

go to peru and she's just gone for like a day it's just she's gone for a day

57:11

and then comes back hey you know great movies also have timing issues like i don't know anybody that

57:18

agrees with how long luke was in degaba so that's even good movies that's true but i would come back

57:29

and say that luke being in degaba is within a universe that is an earth yeah there and doesn't

57:38

have you know some sort of relatable distance between one place or another you know so like

57:44

that's that's where i would always come back to is that that is a complete fantasy world and

57:49

settings so the rules governing you know time really kind of go out the window but you're right

57:56

okay but i'm just saying it's really bad on this one that's all i'm saying it's really bad

58:04

yeah but outside of that i did want to talk about the very awkward

58:14

so many issues i have with this movie um the really awkward uh baby shower i mentioned this before

58:26

so cassie doesn't want to go to baby shower for reasons and don't and she doesn't because sickness

58:33

yeah yeah make a sickness so instead what we get is we get this very weird scene which i don't

58:38

know why it's in the movie i really don't other than just to say like oh yeah see she has powers

58:43

but like cassie is at this baby shower name game thing where she has to like write down

58:52

a memory of her mom so like it's already set up to like make her awkward and make her be like

59:02

that's a downer like she's the debbie downer of the baby shower yeah and you don't have to be

59:08

that person like oh most people don't know it's just lie lie yes because you just say like ah my

59:16

mom made a great apple pie like ah that's nice next person you know she made really good peanut

59:21

butter and jelly sandwiches yeah there you go but like she decides that she's going to be the person

59:28

who doesn't put anything down why because she knows that someone's going to read that and go

59:34

why didn't she put anything down cassie well it's because my mom's

59:37

fucking dead yeah she died in the amazon she was pregnant with me researching spiders

59:47

my mom how dare she go to the amazon there's no hospital around and she died having me and she's

59:53

so irresponsible by the way you find out later in the movie she went to the amazon because cassie

1:00:00

was gonna have some weird degenerative disease when she was born so really she cared so much

1:00:07

about cassie to devote her life to finding the spider to cure her i think she did have it i mean

1:00:12

if you watch dakota johnson's performance oh my god she can't open a can of soda she taps it a

1:00:21

couple times you know she's just like i'm gonna take it i'm gonna tap it i'm gonna play with it

1:00:25

i'm gonna like i don't show off you tap their soda yeah some people tap their soda before

1:00:30

they open it like what do you what do you she doesn't even open it that's what i'm saying like

1:00:33

this this woman doesn't even open the fucking soda she just taps it plays with it you know spins it

1:00:39

around does tiddly winks with it and then shows it to the audience and then goes uh i'm not gonna

1:00:43

drink it see brian this is how i know that you're from california because it's soda yeah i i do too

1:00:51

i'm northwestern pa but yeah everybody around here is it's pop but oh yeah no i've always been

1:00:57

that person either go soda or do i do coke coke is a catch-all for all sodas oh like the southerners

1:01:05

a little bit it's just i i'll use coke as a catch-all for honestly any sort of dark cola

1:01:12

you know outside of dr pepper dr pepper i'm gonna call it dr pepper the agnostic soda it's not

1:01:18

root beer it's not soda it's dr pepper that's a south park reference fucking good yeah i don't

1:01:24

care what it says um but but yeah i mean that that's just that's just me sometimes i say soda i mean

1:01:30

i always say so i will never ever ever say pop um sorry to my fellow pittsburgh people you'll never

1:01:37

catch me saying pop but yeah uh this this movie was terrible john well see there's really bad

1:01:48

and there's a there's a saying um let me make sure i get this right um that

1:01:55

every action in the screenplay that there's a there's a specific term for it but i can't recall

1:01:59

it so i don't want to fuck it up but something should naturally lead into the next section like

1:02:07

everything should play off of it in a in a good written screenplay and not just it seems like

1:02:14

there's just something forced in because you didn't write anything in until now kind of thing

1:02:19

but this movie relies on a character who can see the future so it's just told here's the next thing

1:02:28

that's going to happen not because it happened organically in the screenplay but because we

1:02:34

told you that it was going to happen and she already knows it's going to happen and that is just

1:02:39

that is inexcusably bad screenwriting at its core like all the other issues aside that's bad

1:02:47

screenwriting this movie to me boils down to one scene you want to know how bad this movie is

1:02:57

i what i'm going to describe to you is a scene where i knew at this point

1:03:01

point that this movie is in irredeemable and just needs to be lit on fire um so there's a scene

1:03:13

roughly i'd say about half i think about halfway through the movie where cassie is again reading

1:03:20

her her mommy's journals about spiders and is discovering that ezekiel sims is the bad guy

1:03:28

and that he also knew her mom and she reads i kid you not when i tell you this dear listener

1:03:36

and viewer she reads that apparently the spider can give people superpowers to climb on walls

1:03:48

and so what cassie decides to do is in that moment get the bright idea to try to climb on walls

1:03:58

and she falls down because she's fucking stupid like john the minute i saw that i'm just like

1:04:08

fuck this movie so much i mean it was that's when i knew that's when i knew i knew at that moment

1:04:17

every person involved in this movie didn't give two fucks about it it was their their last it

1:04:25

changed had a real hidey-ho marvel type moment but now now for me here's where here's where the movie

1:04:31

lost all right where the movie lose you because that was when they lost me so our our villain is

1:04:36

like i had this dream about these uh three girls in masks and he's like hey it's 2003 random ass

1:04:44

woman who hasn't been introduced yet you're a super duper computer technology wizard right

1:04:49

and she's like yeah of course it's in the script and he goes okay cool what i'm gonna need you

1:04:54

to do is i'm gonna describe three women who are in masks and then you're gonna somehow recreate

1:05:00

them digitally and then using this 2003 technology based on these people that you've recreated

1:05:07

digitally we're gonna match them to actual people and then these three people are going to be in

1:05:12

the exact same place at once for convenience purposes so you can go kill them all at the same

1:05:16

place at the same time what the fuck the flying fuck again nice try billy good script billy good

1:05:29

job but that doesn't work billy oh john uh yeah that part was bad i was like how how is he able

1:05:39

to describe what these people look like from a tree and it's complete creates them yeah she

1:05:47

recreates them perfectly like not even like they don't even like look fake like the like like like

1:05:52

just you know like you you see like a uh a sketch artist try to sketch someone from a description

1:05:59

and it always like once they actually find the person and you show them on screen they never

1:06:04

quite look exactly like the sketch but like this person apparently is the savant of sketch artists

1:06:12

because she's able to completely recreate them at what they look like at 17 like that's the kicker

1:06:20

here this isn't like saying hey yeah create them what they look like right now it's like

1:06:26

age them down to 17 and by the way use the NSA's creepy computer which wink wink nudge nudge we

1:06:33

could say hey this thing really existed to get the the zinger in of haha remember patriot act

1:06:39

this is it um and have that supercomputer be like yes we could find everybody which it never did

1:06:45

that it's 2003 2003 you know i know that anytime a movie comes out we like to pretend that the

1:06:55

technology you know in a fictional world is super advanced and super knowledgeable so this movie

1:07:00

came out in 2003 people might be like oh i bet like the rich people or government have computers

1:07:05

like that but now that it is 21 years later we know that technology was a joke i mean that you

1:07:13

know not as bad as it was in 93 but still a joke like there is no way there's no way that any of

1:07:21

this makes any sense whatsoever for 2003 i mean dvds were novel dvds were novel yeah yeah

1:07:36

i really hate this movie i'm just i really you know what i hope from this movie is that we get

1:07:43

a long-form documentary on the making of this movie because i have i have a thousand questions

1:07:49

i i just want to know how things got through the script process i want to know how things got

1:07:54

through the filming process how things got through to the editing process i want somebody to admit

1:07:59

that they lied with their marketing it's like oh look it's a superhero movie and the entire time

1:08:07

you're going to see sydney sweeney in a cat suit you perverts so come see the movie and it's like

1:08:12

that's not the movie it's a dream sequence and a scene at the end yeah yeah and i think they're

1:08:18

like i i really do think that the the sexualization of the spider women played a big

1:08:26

role in this because even think about it like the joke was oh yeah i get the dune popcorn bucket

1:08:32

and then go see madame web like that was the joke that's the joke there you're gonna go and

1:08:40

fillet yourself with a popcorn bucket while watching madame web

1:08:48

for our our audio listeners john literally was oh facing

1:08:54

spice spice in your pants the spice melange oh god yeah but like i i think john you should make the

1:09:06

documentary about my madame web if i could get everybody to agree to talk to me i would be so

1:09:12

down i don't think dakota johnson ever wants to hear the words madame web ever again she fired her

1:09:19

casting like agency like i get it fired them over this i mean i guess i could understand on paper

1:09:29

you you need as a casting agent you need to know more of the differences between comic book movies

1:09:35

but i can understand on paper her casting agent being like oh well it's a comic book movie and

1:09:40

you're the lead you know everybody wants to be in a comic book movie wow you know but they should

1:09:45

have realized after the they could have just done the research realize oh there was a failure of

1:09:50

morbius uh and the venom movies are not great they make a lot of money but they're not good like

1:09:55

we should maybe just tell dakota to take a pass on this one but i think they just did surface level

1:10:00

where they went hey it's a comic book movie and you're the lead you know here you go this is gonna

1:10:04

well i think it's also like you dangle the hey this is this is by marvel right now now it's not

1:10:12

marvel studios it's it's not them but if you say like well it's a marvel movie

1:10:21

but it's not really a marvel movie um you know i think like i think certain actors they feel like

1:10:29

oh if i get the marvel film then i'll be the next robert downey jr or i'll be the next scarlett

1:10:34

johansson or i'll be the next you know uh chris hemsworth i'll be in hellbrown the club you know

1:10:41

i mean even like jeremy renner like let's yeah i i don't mean to be rude but probably the least

1:10:46

important of the avengers team but i guarantee his his bank account is 90 marvel movies oh yeah i

1:10:54

mean granted granted he's he's obviously moved on from that and done things like mayor of kingstown

1:10:59

and many other projects but but you're right i mean there is something alluring about getting

1:11:06

into the marvel cinematic universe and getting that sweet sweet marvel money uh and getting on

1:11:13

a massive project so i can understand where dakota johnson would be like well i did the whole like

1:11:18

you know bdsm uh for for boomers movies so i probably should now pivot to something more

1:11:27

commercial and you know marvel movie comes around didn't really look said oh i'm the lead i'm the

1:11:35

one that's important it has spider it's in the spider-man universe probably thought okay that's

1:11:40

a cool idea um but clearly and i really go back to i really believe that sony did not give two

1:11:50

fucks about this movie i really think it was like we have bucket a that we need to fill we need a

1:11:56

female-led film to come out on valentine's day why not it and we have these spider-man characters

1:12:05

let's just do madame web like sony prove me wrong contact us at the cinema psycho show.com

1:12:14

i just i tell me i'm wrong i still can't believe that a studio would throw that much money at a

1:12:22

movie that has this much issues like and like they don't care they they still want to be

1:12:30

profitable unless like you said this is one giant tax write-off scam i don't even think it's a tax

1:12:37

rough i think it's a bucket i think that's what it is i think they had a content bucket for february

1:12:44

of 2024 and they're thinking of themselves well we'll just kind of lean into the female superhero

1:12:54

movie but being as it's a female superhero movie we're not going to give any sort of real talent

1:13:00

or thought process to it because let's be honest here that unfortunately still is reserved for the

1:13:06

male-led ones you know i hate to say that and i think that there can be a really good female

1:13:13

superhero movie out there unfortunately the studios don't give a fuck and like and again it

1:13:20

all reads in how they gave sydney sweeney a costume that is i keep going back to this but

1:13:30

that is the dead ringer for me that this movie was made by men who are just trying to milk this thing

1:13:37

for barely anything they can get you know well milk the perverts you know on top of that she's

1:13:43

like a naive girl with daddy issues who will do anything you tell her so that's like the perverts

1:13:50

will like hell yeah yeah but i'm just telling you i i really believe that they they did not care

1:13:59

any bit at all for this movie and and probably lied to their actors and lied to their creative

1:14:07

talent on there making them think they were making something great because clearly there was no real

1:14:13

push for it you know i know there was marketing for it but like if anything the minute you know

1:14:19

the movie's coming out in february and it's a superhero movie not a good plan it's not good

1:14:26

it's not good so yeah this was painful to watch like it was really painful and like

1:14:32

it for me falling asleep through it twice that's really bad but weirdly i could see myself

1:14:38

revisiting this movie like drunk or high and laughing like like batman and robin you know

1:14:44

like just an utter train wreck or cat woman but in a way that i could never watch morpheus again

1:14:52

it just yeah the other spider-man so what you're saying is that your hope is that within five years

1:15:00

time that madame webb will be the cult superhero film the midnight screening of madame will be

1:15:09

in the along with other superhero terrible films such as blank man and the giver

1:15:18

oh you know what it is like you know what blank man is don't you oh yeah okay yes oh brian we're

1:15:25

the same age man okay i know i just i have to check yeah i have to check but you know how like

1:15:30

everybody throws spoons at the screen for the room i can see everybody throwing like britney spears

1:15:35

uh toxic albums at the screen no at certain points i'm moving oh dude you should talk to rowhouse

1:15:43

you should talk to rowhouse and see if they could do a screen of madame web but it's interactive

1:15:47

where you just you crack open a pepsi every time that a pepsi shows up on screen well here's the

1:15:54

here's the awkward part uh well we we have a partnership with coke oh that is awkward

1:16:02

that's where you you say all right everyone bring in your pepsi products see that's why

1:16:07

we have to go back and me uh gotcha gotcha gotcha oh shit well this was a good talk

1:16:15

about a fucking terrible movie that i never want to see again um with which said john where can

1:16:23

they find you at on the internets i don't know i don't even know who i am anymore i uh after

1:16:29

watching this movie again again i've seen this thing twice the fuck is wrong with me uh but

1:16:36

you can find me uh instagram and facebook um i am technically on like like good reads and letterbox

1:16:43

but i suck at social media i just need to get wealthy so somebody does my social media for me

1:16:48

i just tell this is my review of that movie go put it on letterbox you know but um so i am

1:16:54

technically on those things with our ghost towns and but most importantly you can find me at j

1:16:59

does video nasties i think i had mentioned that i was working on a check in on the movie manhattan

1:17:05

with woody allen but because it is pride month i've shelved that one smart move and i'll be

1:17:11

talking about the kevin klein 1997 kevin klein movie in and out and robin williams the bird cage

1:17:17

for pride month oh those are good ones really good ones i like in and out like that one

1:17:25

for what it was it's very it's very funny i mean i have i have a lot of things to explore in it

1:17:30

um but this i think it's more hopelessly optimistic for 1997 on gay rights than

1:17:38

anything that's kind of what i want to approach but yeah i know but it's very funny it's funny

1:17:42

it's funny um with that said uh you can do me a favor you do me a favor if you're listening

1:17:49

listen look at me uh do me a favor if you like this episode if you like what we do here you like

1:17:55

our podcast tell a friend like seriously if you're listening to us while you're jogging or if you're

1:18:00

you're watching us on youtube go ahead and just share this with a friend who maybe might like a

1:18:06

movie podcast um about what we talk about all right do that on top of that i did want to make

1:18:12

a little announcement here that i have a survey for you the audience um i am i am always trying

1:18:22

to improve upon this podcast and i really want to hear from you all so in the description of

1:18:29

this episode there is a link to our audience survey um please fill it out let us know what

1:18:35

types of episodes you want us to cover let us know what things you like what things you don't like

1:18:39

what things you want to see and i seriously read through those and i i want to know what we can do

1:18:44

to improve the podcast so please fill the audience survey it's in the link on top of that feel free

1:18:51

to reach out to us uh and follow the show uh on youtube uh just click the like like click the

1:18:57

subscribe kick the follow all the fun stuff and if you're on a podcast platform you can of course

1:19:02

go to cinema psycho show.com forward slash follow and follow us on whatever podcast platform you

1:19:08

listen to the links are all right there and with that said we will see you next time.

1:19:14

Tally ho!