0:00

Charges. That's created by Portalais and Control

0:02

Media. It's produced by dB Podcasts

0:05

in association with I Heart Radio.

0:10

This time a former Son's player who you

0:12

might remember as t Rex More

0:14

video in just a moment, But this is Rex Chapman's

0:17

mug Shaun, and we are learning a lot more about

0:19

the charge of charging. What do

0:21

you realize now that you look back on it

0:24

and you know so much more about yourself and mental

0:26

health. I stayed home for

0:28

like four straight months. I didn't do anything.

0:30

If I left my house, I went to the psychiatrist.

0:33

That was the only time I left my house. And like

0:35

right away, that's like weight just lifted

0:37

off my shoulders and I was like, oh

0:39

my god, I don't actually have to play.

0:42

If I didn't have the support system I had, there's

0:44

no talent where I'd be today.

0:49

Welcome to Charges. I'm your host, Rex

0:51

Chapman. Mental health is a hot topic

0:54

in sports and then the world in general. These

0:56

days. We see it with players like Naomi

0:58

Osaka and Kevin love Of and to Marta Rosen

1:01

and countless others who have talked about

1:03

the pressure and the struggle to cope with

1:06

social anxiety, depression and

1:08

a host of other mental health ailments

1:10

and issues. I bring that up because

1:13

today my guest is Marty Fish.

1:15

Marty was a top ten tennis player in the

1:17

world and suffered one of the more public battles

1:19

with his mental health in the prime of his career. We're

1:22

gonna talk with Marty about that. He's

1:24

done an amazing job and commendable job

1:26

when it comes to sharing his journey. Marty

1:29

really deserves a ton of credit for being

1:31

someone in the sports world who recognized

1:33

and dealt with his mental health issues almost

1:36

a decade before it became something that

1:38

was accepted and understood. This

1:41

his charges,

1:49

Marty, thanks for being here. Welcome

1:52

to the show, buddy. Yeah, thanks for having us. Thanks

1:54

for that intro. Appreciated. I

1:56

know when I come on shows, I've always

1:58

like, oh man, they really loved me up,

2:00

So we tried to appreciate

2:03

out all the good stuff there. Uh,

2:05

Marty, let's go back to the beginning. How does tennis

2:08

enter your life as basically a baby

2:10

in Minnesota? Yeah, um

2:12

well, I come from a tennis family. Um

2:15

My father teaches tennis, still teaches

2:17

tennis. Went to the US Open even before

2:19

I was born as a fan. Um

2:21

so um, you know, pretty cool

2:24

history of kind of tennis sports.

2:26

My sister played collegiately. Um,

2:29

I guess I got my sort of my I

2:31

guess my sporting talent from my mom. My

2:33

dad was a uh was one of those

2:35

kind of hard workers, went to University of Minnesota,

2:38

tried to play you know a little bit, and just

2:40

didn't have the the athleticism or or

2:43

the talent that it took, but certainly had

2:45

the work ethic and stuff. So UM,

2:47

instill that in me pretty early, um,

2:49

which was nice and UM, you know, just

2:51

couldn't have had a better, uh

2:54

more you know, sort of more comfortable upbringing.

2:56

Um, really lucky. You know that tennis

2:59

is a gnarly or we can get into that as

3:01

much as you want. But but in terms of

3:03

tennis parents, UM, I put

3:05

tennis parents right up there with with any

3:08

parent of any sport, um,

3:10

as crazy as any of them are. And I've

3:12

been super lucky, super lucky with that.

3:15

That's amazing, It's amazing. I don't know if people

3:17

realize this, but tennis seems to be one of those

3:19

sports like gymnastics or golf,

3:21

where you know, a child basically people

3:23

can tell you know, oh this kid's special

3:25

and if we nurture this talent,

3:27

who knows where it could go. Looking back

3:30

on that time in your life, what do you remember.

3:32

I remember getting started early. Um, you

3:35

know, I played my my first tournament

3:37

when I was six years old, lost six oh six

3:39

oh, which is as as bad as you could

3:41

possibly do. I play, I tried to play

3:44

when I was young. I mean, I love I did love

3:46

it and was passionate about it. When I started playing

3:48

the other sports, I stopped playing, but loved

3:50

it and loved growing up, you know, growing

3:53

up watching Borg and McEnroe and

3:55

and all those guys. So I

3:58

know I'm a big tennis fan. UM.

4:01

No, yeah, it's um, you know, you

4:03

got you you start early. Life expectancy

4:06

on um. You know, in tennis

4:08

is not as long as you would think being

4:10

a non contact sport, you

4:12

know, as you know are are you know, it's a

4:14

lot of running obviously, so like joints and

4:16

hips and knees and stuff like that. Feet,

4:19

um, you know, take the brunt

4:21

of it, um, and we're

4:23

running around on concrete for the most

4:25

part. So um, you know, it's

4:27

uh sometimes an hour, sometimes

4:30

five hours, you know, and that's that's

4:32

one of the hard things about tennis, right is that, like

4:34

you get out there and you can train for whatever you

4:36

want to train for, but it could you know, you could

4:38

play a I played plenty of Grand Slam matches

4:40

where I won or lost in an hour and a half and

4:43

and and a bunch of them where I've played over four

4:45

hours, and you can't. You know, it's really

4:47

hard to prepare for that. Um,

4:49

you sort of have to prepare for the four and hope

4:51

it coach shorter than that. But um,

4:54

but that's you know, that's kind of how it started, and you

4:57

know, it's sort of fast forwarding

4:59

through out your career and to the end you're

5:02

you know, I retired when I was thirty

5:04

two years old, and you know for a bunch of different

5:06

reasons, which we'll get into, i'm sure, but um,

5:08

you know, why why did you retire so early? It's

5:10

like, well, you know, I've been playing I've

5:13

been playing tournaments since I was six years old. People

5:15

don't understand that I I played professionally for sixteen

5:18

years, but uh played tournament since

5:20

I was six. So it's a it's a it's a long

5:22

time to do anything that wear and tear.

5:24

I feel you. Um, and I was retired

5:27

at thirty two as well. But again he started

5:29

playing when you're in grade school, you know,

5:31

and and serious about it. When was it clear

5:34

to you that tennis was going to be a really

5:36

big thing in your life? And you remember how you

5:38

felt about that at all? Um?

5:40

You know, look, I I love sports, always

5:42

have always loved sports. Uh. You

5:45

know, born in Minnesota, moved

5:47

to Florida when we were around four or five years

5:49

old. Um, still keeping the roots

5:51

of Minnesota sports, um

5:54

in my blood and and rooting for them

5:56

Timberwolves, Vikings, Twins, Gophers.

5:58

Even though I didn't go to college, my dad went to University

6:00

of Minnesota, so I root for the Gophers. So like

6:03

die hard, die hard Minnesota sports fan.

6:05

Um. Again, I love sports.

6:08

I loved playing all kinds of sports, so I played.

6:10

I played high school basketball. I played

6:13

you know, baseball up until I was like

6:15

thirteen or fourteen until I kind of

6:17

had to stop. Um, and played

6:19

competitive golf until I was fourteen as well.

6:21

Um. When I was fifteen, I moved over to a place called

6:23

Saddlebrook Academy, which

6:25

is over in a little north of Tampa,

6:28

Florida. UM, to

6:31

spend my sophomore year of high

6:33

school there and see, um,

6:36

I was ranked about fifty in the state of

6:38

Florida at the time, which was fine,

6:41

probably would have gotten me an education,

6:43

you know, free education somewhere, um,

6:46

but certainly not professionally by no

6:48

means. Um. And I went

6:51

to Saddlebrook, started spending and I

6:53

grew up in a small town in Florida via Beach,

6:55

Florida, and um it went over

6:57

and started playing against people that were better than

6:59

me every day. Um and

7:01

and got to where I uh,

7:04

I went from you know, fifty in the state

7:07

that next year to number one

7:09

in the state and probably top couple

7:11

in the country. UM. My living

7:13

at home though, right, How

7:18

was that it was a little high school

7:20

different? Yeah, I mean, you know, at first

7:22

I wasn't driving. Um, you know, I was

7:24

fifteen years old, and and I'm very

7:27

close with my parents, my dad and my mom

7:29

and and so yeah, I mean it wasn't

7:32

looking back, I mean, you know that parts not easy.

7:34

We weren't that far away, straight across the state,

7:36

maybe two and a half hour drivers, So my parents

7:39

came over all the time. UM. I'd go back

7:41

and see my friends because again, like this is

7:43

a sacrifice that people sort of forget

7:45

is that, like I didn't have that normal

7:47

upbringing where you know, I'd go visit

7:50

my friends at Florida State or something like that,

7:52

and like, you know, I missed that college experience.

7:55

I didn't have it. I didn't have the normal high school

7:57

experience that that other kids had. So

8:00

you know, I went to a sort of a specialized school

8:02

where I went to school for three

8:04

hours which probably felt like twenty

8:06

minutes and uh a day, and I'd

8:08

play before and after school all day

8:11

every day, you know, and and and got a lot

8:13

better. Uh, let's talk about

8:16

Andy Roddick in your relationship with him and

8:18

his family. Tell me about how that all came

8:20

to be. Yeah. So, um,

8:22

after that sophomore year in high school,

8:24

I went back to Verreau Beach, um and sort

8:26

of spent like the first quarter, um

8:29

or maybe half a semester at high

8:31

school and VIAU Beach. And I knew I

8:34

was a different tennis player. And I knew

8:36

that, you know, probably my career

8:38

trajectory would likely either take

8:40

me to whatever college I wanted to play at

8:42

for maybe a year or so, or just take

8:44

me straight professionally. Um.

8:47

I always wanted to be a professional athlete, Like I didn't

8:49

necessarily care what sport honestly,

8:51

like I, you know, tennis just happened to be the

8:53

one that was best at. UM. I

8:55

loved tennis, don't get me wrong, but but that

8:58

one was the one I was best at. So there

9:00

was a gap there where uh Andy

9:03

and I and UM a

9:05

few other guys maybe five total guys.

9:07

UM. They were very highly ranked

9:09

in the country, went down to train

9:11

with a guy named Stanford bost He was like

9:14

a hard nosed uh

9:16

If you didn't bring enough rackets to practice,

9:18

if he didn't bring extra grip, if you didn't

9:20

bring an extra pair of shoes or

9:22

something like that, he'd dropped you off UM

9:25

at one of the exits on nine until you

9:27

to run home. You know, it's sort of ten miles or

9:29

eight miles or whatever. It was so like very you know,

9:31

like really good for us, really good for like

9:33

a punk kid sixteen years seventeen

9:36

years old, thinks he's better than he is

9:38

or knows he's really good, kind of kind

9:40

of kid. UM. And

9:42

we were all good kids, but we knew we were good. We

9:45

were cocky too, and and so he was

9:47

really really good for us, UM in terms

9:49

of putting us in our place, making us work

9:51

really really hard. UM. And

9:54

and he was the guy that we shared a coach with, so I

9:56

didn't have anywhere to to really live.

9:59

UM. Some of the guys lived with Stanford

10:01

and his wife, and I didn't necessarily

10:03

want to do that. Andy and I were real close, so

10:07

you know, they invited me to to

10:09

basically live as as Andy's new

10:11

brother at his house. And um,

10:14

and he had an older brother named John, who was

10:16

a very very highly

10:18

ranked junior player and good collegiate

10:20

player at the University of Georgia. UM.

10:22

So they had some tennis blood in them as

10:25

well. And UM and Andy

10:27

was special for sure, and you knew, UM,

10:30

you knew that he was really unique,

10:33

um in terms of on the tennis court. And

10:36

uh, well, because he he had this competitiveness,

10:39

you know. And you always say like, oh, he's so competitive,

10:41

you know, like every athletes competitive. I

10:43

feel like again, and this is like the same thing with

10:45

like there's two sets of athletes. In my opinion,

10:48

there's also two sets of like competitiveness

10:51

in athletes. I think one hates

10:54

to lose, which wasn't necessarily

10:56

me like that was John McEnroe,

10:58

Like he just hated to lose, Like he

11:00

could not stand losing. Right, That wasn't

11:03

me. I love to win. That

11:05

was me. Like, so it's either you hate to lose or you love

11:07

to win. And he hated to lose

11:09

and he loved to win. And it was like that,

11:12

Like there was that like competitiveness that you just

11:14

don't see very often. Um.

11:16

And if I look back at like my career and the

11:18

guys that I played throughout my um

11:21

sort of tenure, and I was obviously

11:23

lucky to play the Feds and the Dolls and Djokovic's

11:26

and those guys. Um, he was

11:28

like a latent Hewitt and a the Doll sort

11:31

of wrapped into one where, Um, he would

11:33

refuse to give in it all. He was feisty,

11:36

He was nasty, tell you anything you didn't

11:38

want to hear on the court. He'd get into it

11:40

with you. He'd try and hit you with a serve.

11:42

I mean he was he had this monster serve

11:45

and he was just nasty, you know, like in

11:47

turn on the court, you know, and like, did you guys get

11:49

along like brothers?

11:51

So we weren't best

11:53

friends, we were brother We fought

11:56

at everything. We fought. We

11:58

competed. Uh, we drove of separate

12:00

cars to school that when we were

12:02

going from the same place to the same place,

12:04

because I thought I had a better I had had

12:07

a faster route than he did, you know. Like

12:09

that's what we competed at. We competed at girls

12:11

who could get you know, who's gonna date who?

12:15

On the basketball court, we play one on

12:17

one obviously on the tennis court, you know, and

12:19

that'd go back and forth for the most part, you

12:21

know, back then. Um, and so yeah,

12:24

I mean we were we

12:26

were going through life

12:29

sort of you know, high school

12:31

changes and you know, just sort

12:33

of life's changes. Um. It

12:35

sounds like a great same time,

12:38

you know, at the same time, you know,

12:40

and like and yeah, I mean

12:42

we the best I could put it is just we weren't

12:44

friends. We were we were brothers

12:47

like you know, and and just fought at

12:49

everything, literally everything. What

12:51

what were your early years like on the tour?

12:53

And if you don't mind, can you explain how

12:56

going pro in tennis and working

12:58

your way up? How does that? Um,

13:03

So it's it's all I mean, tennis is really

13:05

uh tough in terms

13:07

of there's only one thing that you're

13:10

that you're judged by, and it's the number by

13:12

your name, you know, and like that

13:14

ranking is all that we really

13:16

have to go by and engulf.

13:20

It's a they have a two year ranking system,

13:22

so it's like you're not as stressed

13:24

to like, you know, to continue

13:26

to show real yeah,

13:29

just like have results after results after

13:31

result, and also

13:33

not looking forward or ahead

13:36

or or looking at the last twelve

13:38

months or twelve months ago and going, oh, we'll shoot,

13:40

I made the final last year, so um,

13:43

you know, I got this to defend and these amount of points

13:45

to defend and stuff. Wouldn't that Why

13:48

wouldn't tennis do that? We tried, They tried.

13:50

Two thousand and eleven, Nadal came around

13:53

to all the guys in the top ten and said,

13:55

you know, even him, who's who was you know, one

13:57

or two in the world at the time, or really the entire

13:59

career. So he went around and tried

14:01

to get everybody that was

14:04

in the top ten to sign a petition

14:07

that said, can we change the ranking system to a

14:09

two year ranking system? Because even someone like him,

14:11

who was gaining thousands

14:13

of points um more than

14:16

everyone else, still was stressed

14:18

about the process of of every

14:20

twelve months. Um uh, you

14:22

know, having to defend, defend,

14:24

defend ranking points so like, and

14:26

since the ranking is all we sort of have to

14:29

go by, um, it can

14:31

be draining mentally being

14:36

a professional athlete in any sport.

14:39

That's difficult. Due to the spotlight

14:41

and scrutiny you and your teammates

14:43

face, Marty and

14:45

other tennis players have to go at it alone.

14:48

He offered us a unique perspective on

14:50

being a ranked solo player, especially

14:53

when your peers and dear friends are ranked

14:55

ahead of you. Marty had a

14:57

solid career, but admittedly think

15:00

it could have been better, a tale

15:02

consistent with many athletes who look

15:04

back at their careers a road

15:06

riddled with regret is one I can relate

15:08

to. But hearing it from Marty's perspective

15:11

on how the pounding he took on the concrete

15:13

really paints the picture for what was

15:16

coming next. So

15:26

you're on the tour, You're in the mix a bunch, but

15:28

I guess fair to say you weren't a top player

15:30

in the upper echelon. What

15:32

was that like? Did you just enjoy competing

15:35

and traveling or enjoying the game or was

15:37

it killing you to win? It

15:39

was hard watching someone like Andy

15:42

b number one in the world, and you

15:44

know, because I always rooted for them, but that

15:46

didn't mean that I didn't want to be ranked ahead of them,

15:48

you know, or or beat them all the time. It

15:51

was one of those things where I just didn't understand

15:54

the full dedication that it

15:57

took UM to get everything out

15:59

of it. I was very um up and down.

16:01

My results were very mixed. I

16:04

could beat anyone, um I had.

16:06

I beat Federer in in less than an hour.

16:09

UM in Indian Wells one year

16:11

in the semifinals, a huge match, probably

16:14

the best match I've ever played. Uh. And

16:16

then I would I wouldn't you know, And I'd make the final

16:18

of a massive tournament, get my ranking

16:20

back, you know, from eighty to to

16:23

thirty. And then I wouldn't you know, Then I'd

16:25

lose a bunch of first rounds in a row. You know.

16:27

I just was not consistent at all. I didn't

16:29

do a good job of taking care of my body.

16:31

Um. That's certainly one of the first things that I

16:33

would have changed. You know. Those athletes

16:36

sort of they're just like, oh, I have no regrets. You

16:38

know, if you're lying to yourself,

16:40

you know, like if you don't have any regrets, like

16:43

so one of my regrets certainly would have been to

16:45

take care of my body better earlier. Um,

16:47

it just wasn't something that we did back

16:49

then, you know, two thousand one, two thousand,

16:52

two thousand three. It wasn't a huge emphasis

16:54

on your body take care of

16:57

your body. There also wasn't like back then,

16:59

if I when I remember like high school

17:01

and like late high school or early like, it was

17:04

it was cool to like sort

17:06

of slack off back then. And you know,

17:08

that's changed a lot over the years. It's

17:10

like, you know, with all these I'm looking, I've

17:12

got like my office slash jim

17:14

here, my my COVID office slash

17:17

gym here in l A. And I've got a

17:19

peloton over here, and a tonal over there and

17:21

a peloton and I do mixed martial

17:23

arts, so I've got a boxing bag

17:25

over here and kickboxing back and like it's

17:28

cool now to like be fit and

17:30

to work out and to like, you know, do that,

17:32

but back then it wasn't. It was like it was

17:34

kind of cool to show people I didn't care

17:37

quite as much. You know, that is

17:39

not the only thing that Americans

17:41

are excited about as the new American number

17:43

one, Marty Fish is taking on world

17:45

number two and undefeated No. Back Djokovic.

17:48

Fish surpassed Andy Roddick for the number

17:50

one spot after Roddick, as the defending

17:52

champion, fell out of his first match

17:55

and fourteen seated. Fish defeated the likes

17:57

of Julian bennetto, Richard Gascay, one,

18:00

Martin del Poto, and David for Aren's succession,

18:03

Fish can potentially enter the top ten

18:05

in the ranking. Let's jump ahead to

18:09

or maybe, Uh that offseason

18:11

you decided if it was really possible,

18:14

if you could push your body and train like never

18:16

before, and your trainer says in the dock

18:18

that you lost like thirty pounds, which

18:21

you already were an elite athlete. What

18:23

was that like to hit that other level and what

18:25

was that motivation? Uh? Yeah, it's

18:28

a great question and one that I

18:30

had, Like desperately

18:33

isn't the word, but I definitely wanted

18:35

to try and get into shape. I knew

18:37

I could be in better shape. I wasn't like overweight

18:40

where you're like, oh, look at that guy walking down the street, he's

18:42

overweight. I was overweight in terms of that's a professional

18:45

athlete overweight, you know, and so

18:47

you know that sort

18:49

of Uh, let's see that fall.

18:52

I had a knee issue that that needed surgery,

18:54

um, and it was because I was just it was too

18:56

heavy, I was pounding too much on my knee

18:58

and the cartilage had some cartilage damage.

19:01

You need it cleaned out. And it wasn't like a super

19:03

invasive surgery. It wasn't like a crazy

19:05

one. It was like at the time, I

19:07

was two two oh three, uh,

19:10

two oh three, but I'm I was I'm six three,

19:12

six four with shoes on six three.

19:14

But but I'm not like I wasn't six

19:16

three, two oh three jacked like

19:19

no, no, no, Like I was like shaped like a pair

19:21

kind of and like oh

19:23

yeah, yeah, I still had baby fat on me when I was

19:25

twenty seven years old, Like I

19:28

don't know if that's baby fat anymore, dude, or is

19:30

just fat? So

19:32

uh So I finally

19:34

felt like I had the time, um,

19:37

you know, because like our off seasons like six weeks

19:39

long. So if you're healthy, it's brutal

19:41

to be able to try and do that. You can't do much in six

19:43

weeks. Um, And I knew

19:45

I had our my surgery September twenty eight,

19:47

two thousand nine. The reason I remember that because something

19:49

I was my first one year anniversary of my wife

19:52

and wedding. So, um, what

19:54

a one year anniversary to go under the knife

19:56

and and do some rehab after U.

20:00

And so my my trainer and I and my wife

20:02

too, we we all sort of set out didn't

20:04

have kids at the time, and we hired a chef.

20:07

Um very you know, kind of low

20:09

you know, low budget sort of thing though, like

20:11

you know, twenty five bucks an hour kind

20:13

of thing. You know, it wasn't create a couple hours a

20:15

day. Uh. She found,

20:18

got the food, cooked, the food, told us how many

20:20

calories were in there. My my trainer would

20:22

sort of calorie count estimate what I burned,

20:25

um, what was going in. So we watched every

20:27

single thing that went in my body for about

20:29

three months a note

20:32

to see the transformation. Just

20:36

just diet. So the first six weeks

20:38

it just felt it flew off. And

20:40

that's not normally the case, you know, like it

20:43

takes time. And I you know, we're

20:45

under five to seven hundred calories

20:47

every day on purpose, um,

20:50

you know, and I was eating like hundred

20:52

calories a day, which is not a lot of I mean,

20:54

if you like, you go have a cheeseburger

20:56

and a fry and that's it. That's all you can eat that

20:58

day. Um So, I clearly

21:01

I wasn't needing that stuff. But that's just to get you know, give

21:03

me an example, obviously, you know, but give you

21:05

example. And um So, the

21:07

first six weeks I was starving. First eight weeks

21:09

or so, I was starving, you know, And I

21:11

thought I was the fittest athlete in the

21:13

world in terms of like anaerobic, Like

21:16

you tell me to run, I'll run. You tell

21:18

me you do this, I'll do this until you tell me to stop.

21:20

And I won't complain. I won't do anything. I won't I'll

21:22

just do it. And um So I

21:25

went to the first tournament and I'm, you know, and again I've

21:27

still got this knee issue and like I'm you

21:29

know, rehabbing that and take care of that and stuff.

21:31

And I feel like it's different,

21:33

you know, go down to Australia, have you know

21:35

a little bit, you know, when a few matches. But I'm

21:38

just I feel different. I go to any wells

21:40

loose first round, feel a little different to go

21:42

to Miami, and I beat Miami. I beat

21:45

one one match and then beat Andy Murray was a defending

21:47

champion um in straight set second

21:49

round. And again like I always knew, I had

21:51

that, like I had that one or two

21:53

matches in me that I could beat anyone. But it

21:55

was the consistency that never was there. So

21:58

then I won the next round, the next round,

22:00

and like, okay, well still though, you know, that's

22:02

one tournament, you know, And so i'd go and I

22:04

go to Houston and I you know,

22:07

that's on clay courts, and I'm like okay,

22:09

and you know, i'd play a good match, and you know, play

22:11

a long time, and I feel like I could play forever.

22:13

So I get to the French and

22:16

this is may of that

22:20

my results hadn't necessarily come

22:23

yet. But I knew something was different, you know, and

22:25

I didn't I didn't understand

22:27

it until And clay was always

22:29

my worst surface because my game was tailored. I

22:31

was a faster court player. I you know, it's just the

22:34

way I was. That's the way

22:36

I played. I played, I came to the net,

22:38

I played better on grass, played

22:40

better on faster services. Just the way I played. I

22:42

didn't dislike clay. I just wasn't

22:44

very good on it. And

22:45

U and I won my first

22:47

round in five sets. And then I played uh

22:49

if on Lubachich. I think it was, you know, four or

22:51

five in the world, time great player,

22:54

a great clay court player, and I lost to

22:56

him, like but over a two

22:58

day match where it was like one, you

23:00

know, we were in the fifth that was like four all in the

23:02

fifth or four all in the three all in the fifth.

23:04

We had to come back next day because of darkness.

23:07

UM, and it end up going like twelve

23:10

or like twelve ten or fourteen twelve

23:12

or something. I lost in the fifth set, but

23:14

dude, I came off. I walked off the court and

23:16

I was like I could play another five sets right

23:19

now. And that right there was like

23:21

it clicked, and I was like something

23:23

like, this is different. This is

23:25

different. I could play differently. I can

23:27

play different styles. Um,

23:30

I could play a clay court style of

23:32

tennis. I could play a grass court style of

23:34

tennis. UM went to

23:36

uh Cincinnati and made the final of that tournament,

23:39

loss of federal and a really really tight match. All

23:41

of a sudden, I'm ranked like twenty five in the world. And

23:44

I know I'm different man, Like I just like

23:47

I made the fourth round of of

23:49

the US Open and I

23:51

won't made the final a Tokyo

23:54

lost in Nadal. I made the you

23:56

know whatever. So fast forward

23:58

to you know, that off season

24:00

and off season into

24:03

my best year. Kept going the next

24:05

year, uh, that offseason, pushing

24:08

harder and harder, not taking any any time

24:10

off to like you know, reset my mind

24:13

or anything. Um. And that's

24:15

kind of where the

24:17

the expectations changed a lot.

24:19

It seemed like, you know, from the getting though that

24:22

season, it was like you're it was

24:24

almost like you were gonna have issues. Then the

24:26

condition with your heart right and

24:29

you know you're also starting to have you

24:31

know, a panic attack here, and I just ladd

24:33

an excuse to have it, you know, like

24:35

my body needed like an

24:37

excuse to have some sort of

24:39

trauma to where I was like, Okay, I'm gonna dwell

24:41

on that for a while. UM.

24:44

I had an issue with my heart called tachycardia,

24:47

fairly common. It's like an

24:49

electricity issue around your heart. There's

24:51

a bunch of electricity electroids

24:53

around your heart and when they fire tells your heart

24:55

to beat. There's like thousands of them. So when it fired,

24:57

puppump, fire, bump, and they

25:00

can malfunction, and when they malfunction,

25:03

your heart doesn't know but to beat because they're firing.

25:05

So I trained at an

25:07

incredible rate where I would

25:10

follow my heart rate at all times.

25:12

I would have a heart rate monitor on when I trained, and so

25:14

I would try and get What I do is I try to get my heart

25:16

rate up to as high as it could possibly go, and

25:19

then in twenty five to thirty seconds,

25:21

which is all we have in between points, I try to

25:23

get it as low as I could get it too, and then do

25:25

it over again, and just do it over and over and over in training,

25:27

right, Um, I knew that

25:30

I couldn't get my heart to beat more than

25:32

a hundred ninety two beats per minute. I

25:34

never saw it higher than that.

25:36

So and that was that was my threshold. Everyone's

25:38

different, but that was my threshold. One nine two.

25:41

I'll never forget it. And um, I

25:43

would have these electricity episodes

25:46

where they're malfunctioning and they were just firing

25:48

like uncontrollably in your my heart again,

25:50

my heart didn't know but to beat, and it was

25:52

beating at like two beats

25:54

per minute, like, so I'm thinking as uneducated

25:58

about the heart as I was, Um,

26:00

my heart's gonna like blow up or

26:03

something like what you know, because why

26:05

is it going this fast? I couldn't get it this fast.

26:07

And from there it

26:09

just started spiraling to where I was like I

26:12

fixed the issue, but never really

26:14

fixed the issue in my mind. Um

26:17

And and just over time that summer,

26:19

I took off the French to have that procedure.

26:22

UM. I started in Wimbledon, continue

26:24

to have some good results because again like Wimbledon,

26:27

grass was my best surface. And then I'd

26:29

go into the US hardcourt season

26:31

and that was again probably the

26:34

best part of the season of you

26:36

know that that I had throughout the year. And

26:38

so I had some success, I beat some

26:41

good players, lost to you know, lost some really good

26:43

players whatever, and uh,

26:45

you know, just slowly over that summer it was

26:47

just started deteriorating. My mind was

26:49

going into places anxiety wise that

26:52

I just had never been before, never

26:54

understood, but you know I have. I didn't

26:56

I wasn't around anyone with any mental health

26:58

issues unfortunately, so I didn't know what

27:01

was going on. Um And I didn't gather

27:03

it until it was too

27:05

late, really, and um, you

27:07

know that sort of fast forward into the US Open.

27:14

Physically, Marty Fish had been going

27:16

through a lot on and off the court.

27:18

His struggles with his weight, heart

27:21

and body were well documented.

27:23

But the powder keg was about to be

27:25

lit ablaze because of a battle

27:27

within the fragility

27:30

of the human spirit. As akin to a

27:32

house of cards, pull one

27:34

and they all can come tumbling down. Most

27:37

deal with this in private. Marty dealt

27:39

with it heading to the grandest stage in the sport

27:42

of tennis while preparing to face

27:44

the greatest of all time. So

27:53

you're playing Roger, and tell me about it, And what

27:55

do you realize now that you look back on it

27:57

and you know so much more about yourself and mental

28:00

health. Yeah, that's a great question. You know.

28:02

It's like, what

28:04

could I have done differently? I guess I could

28:07

have spotted it earlier, could

28:09

have talked about it earlier, I mean not

28:11

could have, definitely could have or

28:13

should have. UM, But me being uneducated

28:16

on in that world, UM,

28:19

didn't really allow me to do that. Um,

28:21

I didn't know. And so I get in the car

28:23

heading to the US Open to play what

28:26

is you know, the pinnacle of

28:28

our sport? You know, the fourth round

28:30

or you know deep, you know, middle or deep

28:32

into a Grand Slam, which happens to be the

28:34

biggest term of the year, the US Open, the one the

28:36

US players want to win the most, or want to do well

28:38

the most. Playing Roger Feder on Labor

28:41

Day weekend, the greatest player of all time. I mean,

28:43

this is the match that I trained

28:45

and sacrificed so much to get to right

28:48

And not for a second would

28:51

I have thought, you know, for how

28:53

bad I felt. Anxiety

28:55

attacks, panic attacks every fifteen

28:58

minutes of the day. Uh No, no

29:00

reprieve at all, dude, Like, just none whatsoever.

29:03

And I'm in the transportation

29:06

headed to the courts with my wife, my trainer, and

29:08

my coach is already at the courts getting ready. You

29:10

know, it's sort of getting ready, getting everything ready to go, ball's

29:13

practice, you know, all that stuff, and obviously

29:15

it's a big day for everyone. And um, and

29:18

I'm crying in the car. I'm not a crier at

29:20

all. And UM, I don't

29:23

know what I'm gonna do. I don't know, you know, I'm gonna I'm

29:25

gonna go out there somehow, I'm gonna lose

29:27

to Fetters. You know and pretty

29:30

quick fashion, I'm sure, and you

29:32

know, in front of millions of people watching

29:34

and thousands of people there or whatever, and I'm thinking

29:36

about all this stuff, and you

29:38

know, and and as

29:40

athletes as you know, like we're

29:43

an especially individual athletes and especially

29:45

tennis, like we are trained at a

29:47

really young age to never show the

29:50

other, to show the opponent how we're

29:52

feeling, how we're doing, We're tired,

29:55

are we pissed? Um? I

29:57

wasn't great at that part of the upset part

29:59

um the negative energy and stuff

30:01

I I was pretty outward about. But the

30:04

the other stuff, Um, I would hide it. If

30:06

I was tired, I would hide it. If I was hot,

30:08

I would hide it. If it was you know, I would. I

30:10

would never show that weakness ever.

30:12

Right, And so driving

30:16

to the courts that day, I needed

30:18

someone like my wife who

30:20

hadn't grown up, or someone in my support

30:23

system who hadn't grown up

30:25

like that in that lifestyle, because

30:27

like you, if you and I were sitting in there,

30:29

you never would have thought of it to go, hey,

30:32

dude, you know you don't have to play

30:34

like you never would have thought that, and I never

30:36

would have thought that ever. And so thank

30:39

God, my wife was there to

30:41

where she you know again, didn't grow up in

30:43

that lifestyle or that, you know, like, hey,

30:45

you're you're forced to do this, Like you get

30:47

out there, god damn it, and you do. And you get

30:49

out there now and you don't say a word and you go

30:51

beat that guy, you know kind of thing she

30:54

says to me, you know, you don't have to play,

30:57

and like right away, this's like weight just

30:59

lifted off my shoulders. And I was like, oh

31:01

my god, I don't actually have to play.

31:04

And I never, dude, in my

31:06

wildest dreams, I never would have thought that ever.

31:09

So if she wasn't there, I would have you know, I don't know,

31:11

I would have stepped out there, I would try to play. I would have been

31:13

worse off, I'm sure. Um.

31:16

And it made me feel better. It made me feel

31:18

better right away when she

31:20

said that when I didn't have to play, it made

31:22

me feel better. Um, when

31:25

I knew that I could go

31:27

home, you know, like I've been on the road awhile

31:29

and like reset and try and get

31:31

some help, try and get a doctor and some

31:34

medication and just some therapy

31:36

or something, just something to help me because

31:38

I was so desperate. I was so

31:40

bad, dude, I mean, I was so I was in such a bad

31:42

place that I you know, I thought maybe

31:44

I was gonna I was afraid I was gonna hurt myself.

31:46

I was afraid I was gonna hurt someone around

31:49

me. Um And luckily, and

31:51

it's you know, number one for me in terms

31:54

of the mental health is a support system.

31:56

If you don't have a support system that understands

31:58

and is allowing you to be vulnerable

32:01

and allowing you to be open

32:03

and listening, and if you don't have that,

32:06

man, it can we see the I mean we see

32:09

suicide rates. We see suicide rates

32:11

and children, we see you know, people

32:13

on the street, homeless people. I mean there's

32:15

those people aren't aren't well and they were

32:17

okay at one point. And so that's a huge

32:19

part for me, is that support system. If I

32:22

didn't have the support system I had, there's no talent

32:24

where I'd be today. Yeah same here

32:26

man. Uh, thank goodness for her. How

32:28

did you get charged in the court of public opinion

32:30

after withdrawing from the match? You know, what

32:33

was the stigma around mental health at that time

32:35

in sports and in society. Yeah,

32:37

Luckily, it was early on in

32:40

the social media craze. Um

32:42

so, like you know, I had Twitter, I

32:44

think, but it wasn't um as toxic.

32:47

I was recognizable,

32:49

I guess because I was the number one American

32:51

and I had played some big matches that those

32:54

couple of years or whatever, and so people would

32:57

you know. I remember I was on the plane

32:59

heading back to back home

33:01

that after that us open and oh

33:03

man, what happened to you? You know, are you okay?

33:05

You know kind of stuff like just on the plane

33:07

and it just felt really uncomfortable.

33:09

Um So I stayed home.

33:12

I stayed home for like four

33:14

straight months. I didn't do anything. If I left

33:16

my house, I went to the psychiatrist. That was the only

33:18

time I left my house. I don't want to get too

33:21

dark here or make you relive

33:23

it too much. It does seem that after the

33:25

withdrawal you really kind of spiraled and

33:27

uh, we're in a lot of pain and crisis.

33:30

How did you eventually start to work your way

33:32

out of that? And how long did it take

33:34

to even want to start to do that work?

33:36

Yeah, um well I wanted to start it

33:38

right away because I was really bad. Um

33:41

I wanted to get my life back. I wanted

33:43

to get back to playing a round of golf

33:46

with my buddies and having a beer, like

33:48

you know, as simple as that. Um.

33:50

I was far away from it. Um at

33:53

the time. UM, I

33:55

felt like it was never gonna happen. Um.

33:57

So I was desperate to get help. Um

34:00

that was obviously a blessing in disguise. I'm sure,

34:02

like just wanting to do that, being open

34:04

to seeing someone being vulnerable

34:06

with someone, you know, a doctor that I've never met

34:09

before. Um so um

34:13

uh you know it took four months. Was the was

34:15

the first time we left the house to not go to

34:17

the doctor. It was to go to a movie. UM

34:20

had a Zanex in my pocket. I never didn't

34:22

like Xanex. I never took it. I never

34:24

wanted to take it. UM, but I knew

34:26

that if it was there in my back pocket that I would

34:28

feel a little bit more comfortable. We

34:31

sat in that the first seat next to the exit,

34:33

so I could leave right away if I didn't, you know, kind

34:35

of thing. I don't know what manifest how

34:37

would manifest? It could be anything. Man

34:39

it could have been, you know, did I eat too

34:42

much and like my stomach was a little full,

34:44

and then I you know, just if I felt off

34:46

at all, you know, if I had, I'm

34:49

battling if you can hear it or not, but I'm battling

34:51

like a head cold, chest cold right now. Man,

34:54

ten years nine years ago, I'd be freaking out, like

34:56

what's wrong with me? Yeah? Like I was

34:58

desperate for the help. So we

35:00

were really lucky we found a psychiatrist.

35:03

It was really good. UM put me on some medication

35:05

that I still take to this day. That was really

35:07

good. UM. I take Lexapro. I take

35:10

milligrams alexe pro every day. I'm not

35:13

afraid to admit that medication

35:17

exactly the same stuff. Yeah, same type of

35:19

stuff. It was just what was better for each individual.

35:22

And that's one thing that I you

35:24

know that like as people.

35:26

UM, I've had a lot of conversations

35:28

about mental health, which is great, trying to educate

35:31

people, and that was one thing that was so

35:33

beneficial for you know, with the doc coming

35:35

out, was just to try and educate people on what

35:38

mental health is, uh, trying

35:40

to spot it, trying to just be helpful to

35:42

other people, UM, people you don't know or

35:44

whatever, because it's, in my opinion of uh,

35:47

sort of a physical injury. I mean, it's your brain.

35:49

Your brain is part of your body. And I know they call it mental

35:52

health, but I think it's physical. It's just

35:54

not an injury that you can see. Um.

35:56

It's not like an ankle injury that you change your

35:58

sprained your ankle in the end A and you I

36:01

can see that, I can see you limping around.

36:03

You can't see my issues

36:05

with mental health because they're internal and UM.

36:08

So it really helped me in you know, not judging

36:10

people, UM, not judging why people

36:12

do certain things, why they believe certain

36:15

things, um, because you just

36:17

never know what somebody's dealing with on a daily

36:19

basis. So you know, that was the

36:22

sort of the main goal was just

36:24

to just to be open about give

36:26

someone a success story and be open about

36:28

my issues and what I struggled with and

36:31

how there's you know, A you're not alone

36:33

and there's tens of millions of Americans

36:36

that deal with mental health issues every day.

36:38

UM. And again it's just you never know

36:40

everybody's dealing with something. Everybody has

36:43

issues and some people can handle

36:45

them better than others and some

36:47

people can't. Doesn't make you less of a person, less

36:49

of a man, less of a woman. UM.

36:52

It just means that UM in

36:54

your world and your bubble mental

36:56

health doesn't care what you do for a living. They don't

36:58

care if you're an x mb A player, next tennis

37:01

player, an next athlete, or a journalist now,

37:03

or a podcaster now or whatever. UM.

37:06

Everyone's bubble and everyone's world is

37:08

their own. We're all trying to, you know, trying

37:10

to do well for each other and

37:12

our families and trying to provide.

37:15

And and I don't care if you're

37:17

you know, garbage man or contractor

37:20

construction work or anything like the guy

37:22

that that cuts my my lawn is still

37:24

trying to provide for his family. And he could have

37:26

the same mental health issues that I did. UM,

37:29

And so it's not like mine were tougher or

37:31

bigger than anyone else's. I think it's really

37:33

important for people to understand that, you

37:36

know, I'm so glad you said that. So often

37:38

people don't realize when someone's struggling,

37:41

but sometimes we don't even fully understand

37:43

or recognize it in ourselves.

37:45

Do you still have ways and methods

37:48

and check ins to make sure you

37:50

know that you're doing what you need to do. I

37:53

actually had a rough day yesterday

37:55

because I wasn't feeling that well. Um,

37:57

I just mentioned I had like a coal. I had like these

38:00

chess cold, you know, and this COVID things going

38:02

around Apparently it's in your respiratory

38:04

and like I haven't had COVID, but like it's

38:07

I you know, it's a respiratory thing. People

38:09

say they don't breathe very well or whatever, and like

38:11

I got tested and I don't have it, but like, you

38:13

know, I got a chess cold, and like before

38:16

COVID, I got a chess coal. You're like, all right, we'll get

38:18

going, Like what's the big deal, you know whatever. And it's

38:21

just my you know, your mind can just sort of spiral

38:23

into places that are uncomfortable and

38:26

um, and so I had a bad day

38:28

yesterday. And so what I do is I, um,

38:30

you know, and this is a personal

38:32

thing, not personal like I don't want to tell people, but

38:34

personal, like just to me. This helps

38:37

me is that, Um, I try and

38:39

take my mind. I try and change the channel

38:41

on negative thoughts. I call it like literally

38:43

just like a remote control. I try and change the channel.

38:45

And so what I do is I'll take

38:47

my mind too. I love golf, so

38:49

like I'll take my mind to a golf course. My favorite

38:52

golf course in the world is like small

38:54

city in North Carolina and no one's ever

38:56

heard of. And it's not even that, you know, it's

38:58

a nice golf course and pretty and North

39:01

Carolina and the Blue Ridge Mountains, but like it's not like

39:03

Augusta, you know, anything like that. And like I'll

39:05

take my mind there and I'll be super detailed

39:07

and vivid about what I'm doing, um

39:10

like the what is the smell

39:12

in the air, what is the weather? Like?

39:15

What color is all the way down to like the number

39:17

on my golf ball? And what what color is

39:19

my tea? And rex I'll tell you,

39:21

dude, like and I'll play every shot. So I'll

39:23

play. I'll hit every shot, you know, and every

39:25

shot is perfect, beautiful shot, beautiful

39:27

drive. You know, a little baby draw dog

39:29

leg right up the hill. Part five, you know his

39:31

second shot on the green, I'll make eagle, you know, every

39:34

time I'm make an eagle, you know part three, next

39:36

hole, very vivid in detail right

39:38

with like with what I'm doing. Um

39:40

So my mind is I'm trying. I'm changing

39:43

the channel I'm internally my mind

39:45

is changing from how I'm feeling and

39:47

this anxiety or panic or depression

39:49

or whatever that I'm having is now

39:52

I'm changing my mind to so a happy place

39:54

for me. Um, I've never

39:56

gotten to the fourth hole in my entire

39:58

life. Me thing that like I

40:01

get, yeah, and like it

40:03

does work. It's you know, for me, it

40:05

works where I can change the channel

40:08

on my negative thoughts right right there.

40:10

Um. It takes you know, five six, seven,

40:12

eight, nine minutes. But again I'm very detailed.

40:15

I don't think for a second about how

40:17

I'm feeling. Um, and

40:19

that works for me. So like if anyone's

40:22

listening to this or does listen to

40:24

this and they're like, man, I don't know how to get my mind

40:26

out of it. Um, I wouldn't say

40:28

it's easy, but there are ways to

40:31

do it. And that is a way. What

40:33

I would suggest is trying to you know,

40:35

like if it was you and you're you know you for

40:37

it was someone who loves basketball, take

40:39

yourself to that Jim that you have a pickup

40:42

game at every Wednesday morning at eight o'clock,

40:44

and like put yourself in a game and

40:46

be super detailed and vivid

40:48

with the all the way down to the to the basketball

40:51

to what you're wearing to what the other guys are

40:53

wearing. The shoes you got these perfect Steph

40:56

Curry shoes on brand new, you

40:58

know whatever, and then all of a sudden, I

41:00

guarantee you man, you won't even get to five

41:02

all in the in the game, and you'll be like, Okay, I

41:04

feel okay now, and definitely trying.

41:07

I'm definitely trying because I can work

41:09

my way into a bad mood like nobody's

41:11

business. You know, before I know it, I'm I've

41:13

gone down a rabbit hole. So I'm

41:15

definitely going to try to employ it that you know,

41:18

you've gone and you've done the work on yourself.

41:20

You've you've seen a psychologist. You

41:22

you're doing everything that you can do, and

41:25

then you're feeling well enough to get back out there.

41:28

What did it mean to play that doubles match

41:30

with Andy? After all these years later?

41:33

Andy Roddick is returning to tennis,

41:35

well for one tournament at least. The

41:37

former world number one announced he's going to be partnering

41:39

with his good buddy Marty Fish in

41:41

doubles at the Atlanta Open next month.

41:44

Marty Fish, you may have heard, has been coping

41:46

with some anxiety disorders in recent

41:49

years. He plans to play singles

41:51

in Atlanta as well. The two time former

41:53

Atlanta champion made his ATP return

41:55

back in March, losing it Indian

41:57

Wells. Marty, who is now a father

42:00

to son Beckett, is not committing

42:02

to a full time comeback as he continues

42:05

to face some emotional challenges. That

42:07

was great. Um.

42:09

There was only one player that

42:11

I would want to play that match with, um,

42:13

and that was him. And conversely, there

42:16

was only one player that he was going to come back and play

42:18

with, and that was me. And so it was. It was

42:20

perfect. Um. We weren't trying

42:22

to win the tournament, dude. We were never going to win the tournament.

42:24

I mean, we were happy to win a match, to be honest with

42:26

you. He was old and fat, and and

42:28

I was and I and I had played

42:31

a double's magic forever and up

42:33

and ripped up. Now I was okay,

42:36

I got myself back in

42:38

shape. I knew how to do that. I knew I know how to get

42:40

myself back in shape. I also know how to get myself out

42:42

of shape really well too now. But

42:46

but no, he he, UM, that was super

42:48

special. I'll never forget that, UM, never

42:50

forget you know, sort of asking him if he would

42:53

like to do that, him having to re

42:55

enter the drug testing pool. You know,

42:58

uh, those gummies, they're not allowed

43:01

taking those right now. And

43:04

so he sacrificed that for me when

43:06

she's good for him for for a week but now,

43:09

but um, but it was great. It was

43:11

also great, Um. Look, I

43:13

wanted personally, I wanted to jump back in the

43:15

fire play. I wanted to get back to the US

43:17

Open. That was my ultimate goal. It

43:20

was never about winning the tournament or even winning

43:22

a match. I wanted to finish my career

43:24

at the place that had taken all of it away

43:26

from me. Um. And I

43:29

was able to do that. I was able to still

43:31

do it at a fairly high level. I

43:33

did win my first match, I should have won

43:35

my second and served for the match. And

43:37

this is like a competitor tennis

43:39

area, like let me let me dwell on the last match

43:42

I played, because let me tell you that it wasn't

43:44

about winning when um, I felt

43:46

out, um, and

43:49

then ultimately it was just giving folks

43:51

that success story that I

43:53

didn't necessarily have when I was going through

43:55

it. Because I mentioned that I was a big sports

43:58

fan and um, worches

44:00

has been my whole life and really only

44:02

been my my whole life. And so

44:05

um, I love all sports. I watch everything

44:08

from mixed martial arts all

44:10

the way down to European soccer to you

44:12

know, European football to you know, to every

44:14

mainstream support here, right. And I

44:16

was desperately as I was going

44:18

through this process in two thousand twelve, looking

44:21

for someone in sports

44:23

that like I could lean on and go, well, there's

44:25

there's a man or woman that was successful,

44:28

had it taken away from them, whether it be you

44:30

know, mental health of anxiety, panic,

44:32

depression, whatever it was, and then and

44:35

then ultimately got it back and was you

44:37

know, played again at a high level. I didn't have

44:39

that and um, and so ultimately

44:41

that was the goal was to come

44:43

out with a story

44:46

in the players Tribune, um, which

44:48

is which I love. I love that sort of um

44:51

medium of with athletes, to be able to write,

44:53

you know, write what we want to write and have it narrated

44:55

by us and you know, and all that and then and

44:58

come out with a piece there and my last

45:00

tournament and then ultimately you know, have

45:03

them and and Netflix partnered together

45:05

and just have that that platform of Netflix

45:07

which is just enormous. Um.

45:10

It was a perfect storm with this documentary

45:13

because not only do I love the Player's

45:15

Tribune and net and obviously the platform

45:17

that Netflix gives, but um,

45:19

the guys who too directed and produced

45:21

the doc the Way Brothers, Mac and chap Way

45:23

there unbelievable. Um.

45:26

If you've ever if you love documentaries,

45:28

and and um, if you're ever on

45:30

Netflix or whatever they've they've done in a couple

45:32

of documentaries called one called Wild Wild

45:34

Country, which one a bunch of Emmy's phenomenal

45:37

dock um battered bastards

45:39

of baseball, phenomenal doc I mean they're

45:41

just like geniuses at a young

45:43

age. And they had a history of tennis,

45:45

a small history of mental health as well. It

45:48

was a perfect storm of all things coming

45:50

together. Um. And then on top

45:53

of it, we filmed in two thousand eighteen and

45:55

COVID took a bit of a hit because it's

45:57

a five part series and they had to film them all. They

46:00

had to all, you know, they had to all be done for them to

46:02

release the all, and they weren't. And they weren't done.

46:04

We were supposed to. It was supposed to come out

46:06

April, um

46:09

and took a while to have them

46:11

all film and finish, And

46:13

it's funny how you know, and I watched

46:16

them all and seeing the others and they're all great.

46:18

Um, they're phenomenal, but um,

46:22

the one that you know, they're they're all sort

46:24

of stories, this one, you know, mine

46:26

of mental health and sort

46:28

of getting a grasp on it and

46:30

and um championing mental

46:33

health and and being open and vocal

46:35

about it. Um seemed

46:37

to be. It's funny how it came into

46:39

place with the timing right, like, because

46:41

again it was supposed to come out a year and a half

46:43

ago, and a year and a half ago, we

46:46

weren't Like Tyson Fury wasn't talking about

46:48

his mental health after winning the you

46:50

know, after defending his belt, Naomi

46:53

Osaka was not talking about not

46:55

wanting to chat with the media at the friendch open

46:57

and how she's not you know, doesn't do well

46:59

with the meat and her mental health and Simone

47:01

Biles, uh, you know, having

47:03

the twisties and not you know, people not understanding

47:06

what that is and and not even

47:08

people being open and okay with

47:10

her. Um. You know, it's just a bummer.

47:13

A lot of the you know, you get a lot

47:15

of like men who would come out and see those

47:17

women and they just go, oh, toughen up,

47:19

you know, and like we know who they are, right, we we

47:21

know exactly who we're talking about. And like it's

47:24

a bummer because that just shows

47:26

me a, UM,

47:29

they're just uneducated on the topic, um

47:32

of mental health. And that's okay, like that

47:34

not everybody understands mental health

47:36

because if you've never been through it, like

47:38

you and I have, it's really difficult to understand.

47:41

You can be um more

47:44

open or like, you know, okay

47:46

with their decisions, UM

47:49

then people were, but it's

47:51

really difficult to understand it. And like do

47:53

you really think that Like I know

47:55

Naomi really well and I know

47:57

her that she really understands her place in history.

48:00

She wants to be one of the greatest female tennis

48:02

players ever. She feels like she

48:04

can do it. And for her to win two straight

48:07

slams US Open in Australia

48:09

and then play the French and pull out, um

48:11

going for three in a row and you know, trying

48:13

to again become one of the best tennis players

48:15

of all time. UM, really showed

48:18

me something that she was struggling with something. You

48:20

know, no one wants to pry, and I didn't even want to

48:22

pry necessarily. I sent her a text and said, hey,

48:24

I'm always here if you ever need anything, and that's

48:26

that. She didn't respond, and she didn't need to

48:28

respond. Um Simone Biles,

48:30

I don't know her at all. I know that she's

48:32

the greatest female gymnast of all time. I

48:34

know she worked her ass off to get to this

48:37

Olympics and and the other Olympics

48:39

and and you know, winning all those gold medals

48:41

and all the medals in the World Championships and stuff.

48:43

Do you really honestly think that

48:45

she would just pull out of the Olympics

48:47

because she doesn't want to lose, like,

48:50

you know, so I feel like we

48:52

needed, you

48:54

know, like I've seen a couple

48:56

uh advertisements of like

48:59

a football player, you know, coming out and saying

49:01

like they, you know, they struggled with their mental

49:03

health, Like that guy's tough, right, Tyson

49:05

Fury is the definition of tough.

49:08

And he struggled with his mental health, he struggled

49:10

with suicide, he struggled with addiction,

49:13

he struggled with a lot of those things. For

49:15

someone like him to come out, it just speaks

49:17

those people who were vocal about

49:20

Naomi and Simone are

49:22

pretty quiet about Tyson

49:24

Fury and myself and Kevin Love

49:27

and DeMar De Rosen and and

49:29

all these other guys coming out that

49:31

um Dak Prescott, Yeah,

49:33

that are saying, Man, I really struggled

49:35

with my mental health and so maybe it needed

49:38

that like sort of male dominant

49:41

kind of person, you know, that combat

49:43

sports type of person, the gladiator

49:46

ish type of sport, because because

49:49

um, it just didn't seem like it resonated

49:51

with the sort of you

49:54

know, half the country male

49:56

person who's just like just act

49:59

tough, you know, like who's never played us get

50:03

up there. So like it's just not about that.

50:05

And if you can see the history of some

50:07

of myself or you, or Tyson

50:09

Fury or these guys, like they are tough,

50:12

Like like we are tough. We were

50:14

actually tougher for coming

50:16

out and being open about it, then we

50:18

are if we hadn't, I

50:21

hope. So, uh so

50:23

you you've battled back in your

50:25

year at the US Open, then you retire. Let's

50:28

talk about the Davis Cup, quickly explained

50:30

to our listeners, and then tell me about what

50:32

it meant to be asked to be the captain

50:35

of the Davis Cup team. It still sounds

50:37

cool, um, even when you say that it was two thousand,

50:40

two thousand nineteen was my first year.

50:42

Um, an absolute dream job being

50:46

that Davis Cup, true honor. Um. Even

50:48

when I play. You know, David's Cup is different

50:51

than uh, it's our team

50:53

competition for the US and tennis, okay,

50:55

and um for those who don't know,

50:57

and if you follow golf a little bit, you know the

51:00

Eider Cup, UM is similar Ryder Cup.

51:02

They've got twelve players, um that

51:04

make the Ryder Cup team, several vice

51:06

captains and things like that, and obviously a captain.

51:08

UM. So there's twelve guys that that make

51:11

that team. Um. We we get four um

51:13

every time we play. And and so four

51:15

guys you know, so I think back to obviously

51:18

Andy Roddick, James Blake, the Bran Brothers

51:20

were incredible David's Cup players.

51:23

So like it was really hard to get on the team in the first

51:25

place. Um, I was really lucky

51:27

to play a lot in Davis

51:29

Cup. I said yes every single time

51:31

I was asked. Um. I even

51:33

got married like a couple of days later

51:36

and played one in Spain, and like in a

51:38

bowl ring, and like it was just so you

51:40

know, just some of my greatest memories on the

51:42

court off the court were around Davis Cups.

51:44

I've even when I was playing, I was infatuated

51:47

by the Captaincy. I just was like it

51:49

was such a cool like even

51:51

I would just sort of study it. And like I had some really

51:53

cool captains too. I played for John

51:56

McEnroe, Patrick McEnroe and Jim Currier

51:58

were three captains that I had, And like, you

52:00

know, um, Jim Curry was really

52:03

cool to have because I knew when I sat

52:05

down that, um, any scenario

52:07

that I was in the tennis court that day or

52:10

that match or that practice, I knew he had

52:12

already been in it tenfold, you

52:14

know, So like it was just a nice

52:17

thing to feel, um when you'd

52:19

sit down and be a part of it. So I was like, even

52:21

while I was playing, I was really interested

52:23

in like what that captaincy met or what

52:25

it was and just what an honor it was.

52:27

And so I've never interviewed for

52:30

anything in my life, Like I've just played

52:32

tennis, you know, so like I've never had to interview

52:34

anything in anything, and and so I

52:37

didn't know, you know, so like this job came

52:39

up, and there

52:41

are lots of players wanted it, right, like

52:43

lots of X players wanted um,

52:46

and including my friends, my closest

52:48

friends who have mentioned here before.

52:50

And and I didn't know any different

52:52

but to lean on like my

52:55

work ethic or like my relationships

52:57

and just literally call everyone

53:01

that had anything to do with it, whether

53:04

I thought they did or they didn't, I call them and I'd

53:06

say, look, this is what David's cutt meant to me, this

53:08

is what the David's Cup captaincy would mean

53:10

to me. UM. And I got

53:12

it. And I was shocked that

53:15

I got it, and not shocked, and

53:17

like you know, it was just like I was so honored

53:20

and fortunate. And it's not a huge

53:22

time consumption. Look, it's like we play

53:24

two ties a year, you know, it's like a couple

53:26

of weeks out of the year. UM. I

53:29

keep in touch with every one of the guys

53:31

you know, all the way in the top one twenties

53:34

something like that. Um, every

53:36

on an every match basis, they'll get a text

53:38

from me or something to say, hey, good job

53:40

or bad luck, I'm thinking about you, like

53:43

you know whatever. And I love it,

53:45

man, And I think Um, I

53:47

hope to a t that um that

53:49

they love me as the captain too. And I hope that

53:52

we play this year in turin Italy.

53:54

Um, we play our group as Italy and Colombia.

53:57

Um. So Italy in Italy will be really tough.

53:59

They have some stud youngsters that are

54:01

on their team. But um,

54:03

it's all you know, there's always something special man

54:06

when you put the red, white and blue in the

54:08

flag on your chest and and you just

54:10

walk around with that jacket on that track jacket.

54:12

It's just so special man,

54:14

that's just amazing. I grew up watching it myself.

54:18

Finally, Mary, I want to give you an

54:20

open form here to talk about any part

54:22

of your experience that you think you know might

54:24

have been missed or something that you want to want the

54:26

listeners to know or understand a little bit

54:29

better. Uh what can those

54:31

who relate to your story do to

54:33

seek hell? Um? Yeah,

54:35

thanks? So, I mean I would say

54:38

three main things, um, just in

54:40

terms of your mental health would be a

54:42

support system would be number one for me.

54:44

UM, getting like alerting

54:47

or letting people around you that

54:49

loved, ones that love you know that you're

54:53

uh not feeling well or that um

54:55

you may have you're having these thoughts or you're uncomfortable

54:58

about a few things. UM, being

55:00

open and honest and vulnerable with

55:03

loved ones is really important. UM.

55:05

Number two, I think and maybe this isn't necessarily

55:07

in particular order, but therapy

55:10

help, UM, get help, seek help,

55:12

ask for help. You can get a psychiatrist,

55:15

they can. There is medication or

55:17

therapy that can take this stuff away, really

55:19

can. Like I know that you probably and there's people

55:21

that may be listening that haven't tried

55:23

medication because they don't like what it makes

55:25

them feel. Like lexapro

55:27

for me, doesn't mess with my cognitive frame

55:30

at all. UM. It just

55:32

simply adds serotonin, a chemical

55:34

that's emptied in your brain when you're having those

55:36

mental health issues. UM, and it just allows

55:39

it to enter back in your brain. UM.

55:41

So there is like

55:44

at the worst cases there are there

55:47

is medication that you can take to get

55:49

you, you know, back to feeling better.

55:51

UM. And then lastly

55:53

find um, learn from every

55:55

episode that you have. UM.

55:58

You know, why did I have this on an airplane when I was

56:01

by myself? Well, maybe I had an extra cup

56:03

of coffee that day, and maybe I just had too much caffeine

56:05

and it made my heart race, and then that made me feel uncomfortable.

56:08

And that's where I got to so like really

56:10

learn and and sort of understand where

56:13

you are. Why, UM you feel

56:15

like that. UM, maybe you know you know yourself

56:17

better than anyone else does, and so you can sort

56:19

of say, Okay, well I'm a little more stressed

56:22

right now than normal or and

56:24

you don't want anxiety

56:26

or stress free life like you do not want

56:28

you can't get it. You won't get out of bed if you have that.

56:31

Like, so you want and need stress

56:33

in your life, but there's just too much stress

56:35

that can be put on. UM, So just

56:38

understand that. And then you know again like

56:40

you're not alone. Like they're like tens

56:43

of millions of people literally every

56:45

day just in this country deal

56:48

with mental health. And just think of all

56:50

the children that are dealing with, you know, with this

56:52

COVID and this pandemic and how their lives

56:54

have sort of been turned upside down and and

56:56

you're just you're not alone, UM, and

56:59

it's they're actually fairly normal

57:02

thoughts. UM, if you just

57:05

understand that and be okay with that and

57:07

be open with that, UM, don't

57:09

be too manly

57:12

or or tough uh to

57:14

you know, to think that you know us can't

57:17

happen to me it. I promise you it

57:19

does not care what you do for a

57:21

living or what your last name is. I promise

57:23

you that so um, be open,

57:26

be honest, seek help um

57:29

and uh and I promise you that you'll beat

57:31

it. It won't go away, and it won't go

57:33

away forever. It just doesn't work like that.

57:35

But just embrace it and it will

57:37

be a part of my life forever. Um

57:40

and I'll beat it every single day. Marty

57:43

Man, I can't thank you enough for joining

57:46

and being so brave letting people know about

57:48

your story and your journey

57:50

with mental health. My door is always open

57:53

to you, buddy. I appreciate that and thanks for having me.

57:55

Rex Charges

58:02

is created by Portalay and Control

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Media is produced by DV Podcasts

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in association with I Heart Radio. For

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more podcasts for my Heart Radio, visit

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I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

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or wherever you get your podcasts.