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Hello, ladies and gentlemen, this is Marsha Curtalli, and I just want to stop

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in and check in on you, see how things are going, and just share with you the

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importance of choosing your association.

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I just want to remind you that it's okay.

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You have the right to decide who is in your circle.

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You have the right to decide who you

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befriend who you work with who you network with

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who you hang out with who you spend your most of your time with who you share

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your skills with who you share your gifts with you have a right to decide to

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either share to give to partake or not that is within your right to do.

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Today, I want to stop in because of late,

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I have been interviewing a few entrepreneurs and making some amazing connections

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across the board with different business owners, with influencers,

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authors, all different types of people who are working in different industries.

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And it's caused me to reflect on a few things.

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And one of them is this understanding that everyone will not align with who

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you are because of their character and not just because of what they do.

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Because what I've realized in networking with people recently is that we can

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be in different industries, but there is a commonality.

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There's something that draws us together or something that is a thread that

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keeps us like there's a togetherness, even though there are differences.

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But then there are people who you are in the very same industry.

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You may even sell the very same product.

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But there are people you just can't work with because they do not share the

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same character, morals, or values that you have.

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It's conflicting. And not conflicting in a way that compliments you,

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but conflicting in a way that rubs you the wrong way.

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And sometimes you're like, yeah, but that's a challenge, right?

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Wrong. There are some people who, if you invest your time and you give them

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your gifts, they are going to take it for their benefit and it will never become reciprocal.

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So what will happen is you will be frustrated because you feel like the relationship

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is one sided and that they're always benefiting from what you are given.

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So you have to evaluate the person you're dealing with and assess,

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is this someone I either want to do business with, want to be in a romantic

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relationship with, or wants to be friends with?

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Whether it's in business, romantic or platonic, you have the right to make decisions

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about who you want in your life. You have the right to be selective. You do.

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And one of the ways you become selective is by being observant.

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You observe people because the truth of the matter is most of us shows,

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most of us show up, we show up with a representative.

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And by that, I mean, we put on the best versions of ourselves when we know we're

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about to meet someone, meet a client, meet a potential boss,

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meet a potential partner, meet up with a new friend.

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We put on these representatives, the best versions of ourselves,

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if you will, the proper one, the one that giggles in a certain way,

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holds our head in a certain way, folds our legs in a certain way,

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crosses our arms in a certain way, you know, do all these things in a certain

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way because we want to give the best impression of ourselves.

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And that's okay. However.

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Some people are just going to show up and show out when they're in their natural habitat,

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when they're in unpredictable situations, when they're in situations that were

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not planned, were not scheduled, and now they have to react or respond in an organic, authentic,

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real them way.

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And in those moments, you assess, who is this person? If you have the opportunity to observe that.

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If you don't, over time, you will learn who these people are by their patterns,

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by what they say, and then doing what they say they would do,

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them showing up, being consistent.

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You'll find out who those people are. And that will take time.

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Sometimes, though, sometimes, you feel out of person. Listen,

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sometimes you've met that person for the first time and your vibe said no.

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And then you may say, well, you know, let me give them a chance because I might

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have some biases that are preventing me from creating a healthy connection with

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this person. So let me give them a chance. And then you give them a chance and you realize, okay, you know what?

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But I feel like my initial conclusion about this person might have been right.

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But then you're like, no, no, no, no. Let me, you know, because I want to be fair in my judgment.

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I don't just want to be stereotypical or use my biases to make a conclusion,

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to make that the final decision about this person.

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Let me give them another chance.

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But every time that you connect with this person you realize your vibes your

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energy your inner voice is like oh no ma'am no no no no at some point you have to make a decision.

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Whether or not you're going to listen to the inner voice or you're going to

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go with that part of you who just wants to give this person a chance or because

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you feel like they may have something of value that you could profit from.

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I know there are people who are willing to risk business, life,

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and livelihood on people because they feel like they can benefit from that person.

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Sometimes that risk pays off, and I feel that happens if there is reciprocity,

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if there's a mutual exchange of ideas,

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of gifts, of services, so on.

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There has to be, it doesn't have to be equal, but it has to be mutual.

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Where you know that if I give this, I am going to receive.

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And I know you're saying, well, you shouldn't give to receive.

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That's not how the laws of the world works.

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You look at the planets and you observe nature. There's a season for everything.

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There's a time for everything. So if you are constantly the one that's given and there's no receiving, something is wrong.

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That's not natural. Okay? That's not natural. There's a season for giving, there's a season for

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receiving, and there needs to be reciprocity.

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That's natural. So when you're in relationships with people, it should be reciprocal.

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It should be mutual. And before you even get to the point of a relationship,

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make sure you have enough data to assess the person and evaluate if they are

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someone you really want to be in your circle.

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Because some people will cost you money and some people cost you reputation.

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And if your reputation is at risk, that could in the long run,

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not just cost you money, but your mental wellness, even your physical well-being.

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There are certain people you simply must avoid, must avoid. void.

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And it takes a level of astute, a level of astute where you are able to decipher,

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detect who this person is.

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It's a skill that you have to develop and develop very quickly or use it very quickly.

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It may take time to develop, but you have to use it as quickly as possible with people you

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meet to assess if these are people you want to spend your time and money with,

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because some of these people will cost you more than just your money.

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You might think it's a loss for not working with them, for not taking on that

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project, for not accepting them as a client, for not hiring them.

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But you might be saving yourself a whole host of trouble that your inner voice

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has been telling you to run from all along. And some of you like the challenge.

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You, you like challenges. So you'll, you'll see the issue, you'll see the problem.

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And you're like, you know what? I can work with that.

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And to be fair, there are times that you should, you should take that risk.

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You should take the risk on someone and give them a chance because people deserve chances.

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That is true. That is true.

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That person just might not be right for you. You might not be the one that needs

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to give them a chance. It might be someone else.

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As I've looked over the different people I have connected with over the last couple of weeks,

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There are some that I absolutely know that we are going to be connected for

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a long time because their energy vibes of mine,

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but also their level of reciprocity.

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These are people who are willing to share and give and show up because in the

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building or networking business, when you are meeting people and connecting with new people,

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a big part of that is showing up for the other person.

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A big part of that is staying in contact with the other person.

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A big part of that is responding to messages, initiating messages,

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starting conversations.

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And those are big parts to building relationships. And truth be told,

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you don't know where some of those relationships are going to take you for business

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or for pleasure. You don't know where it's going to take you.

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But you do have a right to see a person in their current state where they are

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in life right now and based on their character traits right now,

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you have the right to say, I do not want to associate with you.

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You have the right to say that. And I know you might feel guilty about that

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because we all want to buy into the potential.

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We all want to give people chances. And by all, I am definitely stereotyping

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because I know some of y'all don't. Some of you don't even care to give anyone a chance. So I get that.

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But some of us have big hearts and we're willing to work with whomever and we

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are willing to give people chances and we're willing to talk to everyone.

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But I think as your network grows as well, you have to get more selective and

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be more, you have to streamline the types of people you want to be around.

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And that's just for your own mental health too.

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Like, can you handle having some insane relationships in the multitude?

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Multitudes. So it depends, like, on how you want to manage the people that you meet.

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But I'm just here to remind you that you have the right to decide who's in your

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circle, who you associate with.

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There is one person in particular that my inner voice has told me no.

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And this came after observed a few things, but gave this person a chance,

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observed a little bit more, and it's still not getting any more tasteful.

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And so I'm assessing.

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See, the thing is, everything that I share with you. I live.

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I live. Also today, this is just kind of side note.

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I watched a video of myself. Someone commented on it and it's someone I'm going

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to have on my podcast in next week, next week, actually, next week.

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And they commented on a post I made January 12th of this year.

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And it was a live stream where I was talking about positioning your esteem posture,

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fixing your esteem posture. And I talked about the importance of.

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Of just kind of just believing in yourself, essentially. And it was such an encouragement to me.

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But in that video, and I actually forgot I even said this, in that video,

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I shared how I got an epiphany of who I am.

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Like when it comes to, you go into these networking events and they ask you, so what do you do?

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And in that video, I said, it came to me that I am an emotionally I'm an emotional wellness coach.

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I help people transform those pain into

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passion and disappointments into opportunities. And I actually forgot.

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I forgot completely, completely until this person commented on that video today and I watched it.

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And it was like I was watching someone else speak words of inspiration into my life.

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It was powerful. And I'm like, whoa.

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So since then, I've been working out how to describe myself.

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And here I am. I've already found it and forgot that I found it. Isn't that phenomenal?

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Found it, you know. I am an emotional wellness coach.

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Emotional wellness coach. And I teach people and I help people to turn life

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scars into a work of art, to turn the pain into passion and the disappointments into opportunities.

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Man, I heard myself say that.

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I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, girl, there's some powerful stuff.

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So I'm going to close out with this to you.

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Your life is worth a lot. You are valuable.

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The people in your circle in your life should add to that value.

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By that, I mean they should add to your peace. They should add to your joy,

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to your overall countenance.

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They should not be robbing and sucking from you.

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They shouldn't be creating holes in who you are so that everything of essence

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is just slowly leaking out.

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The people that are in your life should be able to detect where there's an area

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of weakness for you and help you patch that area, help you heal that area,

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help you recover from that and help you to thrive.

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You have the right to choose people who you believe are healthy for you,

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who you believe a right for your life.

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You have the right to choose that. You have the right to create the life you

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want to live with the people you choose.

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You have that right. You get to decide your association. It's up to you because you understand that

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if you do not choose wisely,

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it will cost you more than just your time or money.

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And those are two very important elements.

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So today, you may have to make some tough decisions.

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Decisions, you may have to walk away from people who, you know,

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just, yeah, the season has changed.

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And I'm saying that knowing it's not always easy to do that because some of

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those people might be very close to you.

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They may be family members. They may be friends you've known for decades.

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They may be people you work with.

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There's a plethora of reasons why you may feel like Like you just cannot walk

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away from the relationship. And it may mean you have to adjust a little bit, just adjust how you have conversations

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with them and how you spend time with them.

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And you curtail that somewhat. So it may not be a big chop.

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For some people, you're just not able to do that. You're not able to just cut

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them off because of whatever relationships you guys have or whatever the dynamics is.

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Sometimes you cutting them off is

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not practical it's not the way to do it so

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sometimes it's just best to minimize how much

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interactions you have and how many times you see that person because some people

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you're completely fine if you see them once in a while or you talk to them via

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text a few times and that's okay you know who they are you trust them for being

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themselves and you're okay with them, showing you that here I am.

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And then you can decide for yourself, you know what, this is how I address and

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go about and navigate this relationship.

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So you have that right too.

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You have the right too to say, okay, I'm not going to cut this person off completely.

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But I'm going to adjust and I'm going to shift this dynamic in this relationship.

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Relationship you have the right to do that so with

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that lovely people I'm gonna head off because I

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have so much work to do but this

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is Marsha Kurtz-Halley thank you so much for listening thank

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you so much for your support thank you for being

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there I appreciate you and I wish you the best in all that you do and I pray

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for prosperity and healing in every area of your life wishing you the best and

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we will talk soon have a great day.