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What if I told you that students who have it hard at home,

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misfortunes, and awful abusive situations can also come to school and not be

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a disruption, a disturbance, not create havoc for other students?

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What if I told you that there are students among you who are excelling in subjects

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and they are also in terrible home life situations?

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What if I told you that? I've noticed a pattern in my years of teaching.

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And it's this cuddling of bad behaviors that I often see and adults excuse it

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because they say those students have background.

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Their parents are doing this. Their parents are doing that. Like they're told

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it's tough, they don't have anything to eat, and that's why they behave like that.

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That may be the case, but I

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also want us to normalize the idea that children can come to school and behave

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well and treat others well and not disrupt the classroom environment and not

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be a danger to classmates and to school personnel,

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even when things are tough. I would like us to normalize teaching our students how to deal with issues and

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how to help them to heal from those traumas so they don't perpetuate that same

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behavior throughout their lives.

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One of the things you must understand is that cuddling these children's bad

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behavior, the children, cuddle the children, be soft and kind to the children.

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But the bad behaviors, the disrespect.

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The tantrums, you cannot cuddle those because the more you do so,

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you are embedded in those students that it's OK for them to behave like that. And it's not.

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And they take those same behaviors into adulthood.

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Wherever they go into the relationships and it becomes a perpetual cycle.

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So I'm encouraging schools to find a way to cuddle the child while disciplining

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and correcting and reprimanding the bad behaviors.

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You have to find a way to do both. Additionally, I would like you to stop excluding

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students who are doing well, who are showing up, who are excelling in their classes.

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From the things that you give to the students who are not behaving so well.

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For example, students who are a disruption, they get to eat lunch early.

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They get to have a space for themselves where they can play games and they can

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have comfort in an area with pillows and it's cushioned and they can get time out.

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Why is that not available to our students who are doing well,

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who are showing up to school on time, regardless of what's going on at home,

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regardless if they've eaten or not, regardless if their parents were an a-hole

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to them the night before or not, they show up to school and they perform well or they do their best.

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Why are we not recognizing those students in the like energy that we give to

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students who are not doing those things.

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School would be much more comforting if we were applauding those students who

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are doing well on a continuous basis and we were creating a space for them too

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where they could have a time out. Don't assume because a student is in your class doing well that they don't have

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hardships or that they are not hungry or that they are not dealing with things with their parents.

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Don't assume that because you would be wrong. I was one of those students.

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My child is one of those students. You would be wrong.