0:00

So you're going to laugh at me. You're going to laugh at me. Absolutely laugh at me.

0:05

But just two days ago, I was so miserable to the point that I was on a date,

0:11

which I thought was a decent date. But like soon after, I unmatched dude.

0:17

And then yesterday, I came across a video that talks about different kind of

0:22

mental shortcuts and biases and fallacies that we all kind of run with that frames how we do things,

0:30

our perceptions, the way that we treat other people, how we see ourself,

0:34

all of those things, right? And then I decided I'm going to go ahead and write a blog.

0:38

So I'm going to research some of these things and I'm going to write a blog about this.

0:42

And as I'm doing that, I'm like holding up a mirror to myself and realizing

0:46

that in some Some of these processes,

0:50

the dating processing even, I've had some faulty reasoning, which affected my selection,

0:58

but also how I behaved with people.

1:01

So I have a thing where I obviously pay attention to patterns.

1:06

I'm not the only one. We all kind of do that. But I look at the patterns and then I'm going to predict what's going to happen

1:13

based on that. I don't think there's anything wrong with that,

1:16

but I've recognized that it is a level of bias. Now, does it serve me well?

1:20

Yeah, it does. Does it harm me sometimes? Yeah, it does.

1:25

Because it's also this idea of, am I missing out on something?

1:30

Like when I unmatched that dude, I'm like, you know, there were some good things about him.

1:34

I could have stretched it out a little bit longer to kind of see how it unfolded.

1:40

But hindsight is 20-20. And we all think we know everything after the fact, right?

1:47

But that's not true. So even that in itself, there's a hindsight bias where

1:52

we think like after the fact that, yeah, we could have done better,

1:57

done this, that, and the other. But in the moment, we do what we can with the information that we have,

2:03

Which is also another bias, because sometimes we are dependent on what we call

2:08

availability bias, where the information is,

2:11

what is readily available is what we go with, right?

2:15

And that information may be incomplete sometimes.

2:19

So I'm looking at the patterns, and I'm looking at the information that I already have.

2:24

I'm looking at the information that I have, and I'm creating my own narrative.

2:29

And I've done that in the stating scene.

2:32

Now, I do believe that I made some good decisions, but I also believe I made

2:38

some very brash ones, some very quick ones, and I may have messed up some things

2:44

that could have gone well. And I know some of you are going to say, Masha, but what is for you is for you. I hear that so often.

2:52

And I think what happens with a lot of us, we do create this echo chamber.

2:56

We create this narrative that is very the same.

3:01

So we don't hear anything contrary and anything that is different to what we already believe.

3:07

Believe, that self-fulfilling prophecy kind of thing, whatever that goes against

3:13

that, we don't really give any type of validity.

3:17

We don't really consider it, any type of consideration.

3:20

But I'm starting after really going through these different biases and I understand

3:26

the need for mental shortcuts because we don't have all day,

3:31

every day to figure out people and decide if the situation is safe or not,

3:35

we have to figure it out quickly sometimes.

3:38

So I get it. I understand it. Some of those things, it's about surviving, right?

3:43

So I get it. I understand it. But after going through that, I started to analyze

3:49

myself and realize, hey, Marsha, sister girl, you have some room for improvement.

3:58

And truth be told, I'm a little bit excited.

4:01

So excited that today when I got back on the app, I have a new lease on life.

4:08

I'm looking at it even differently now. So right now, I have three people that I'm talking to.

4:14

I do not like a bunch of people. So you match a whole bunch of people.

4:19

And I don't like that because that is also an issue too.

4:23

It's a paradox where, well, that's another phenomenon where we have this idea

4:28

of choice and it can create some anxiety issue and become overwhelming.

4:32

I don't like that. So I like to narrow it down as quickly as possible,

4:37

which is one of the reasons why sometimes I go to patterns and I go to the information

4:43

that I have and I make those decisions very quickly.

4:46

You are here, you're not. We unmatch and we keep pushing.

4:51

And I know at least two of those three people are about to go at the end of this podcast.

4:58

Because if by that time they haven't sent a message back, brother,

5:02

you're out. So I'm like that.

5:05

And the Lord is working on me. There's still room for improvement.

5:10

But it's just the energy is different now because I do realize and I recognize

5:16

that there are areas of improvement. And I know where to pay attention now.

5:23

See, sometimes that's where the frustration comes in is that we know something

5:27

needs to change, but we don't know how to change it, you know,

5:31

and that makes a difference when you kind of know, all right,

5:35

here's a little bit of a blueprint. Blueprint, this is something you can fix here.

5:40

And it's within your circle of, I don't like to say control,

5:44

because there are very, very little things we can control.

5:47

Even the areas that we think we're controlling is influenced by something else,

5:51

but it's something we can manage. We can manage. And so because I can, I have something tangible that I can work on.

6:01

I'm looking at this mirror and I'm going, okay, Marsha, this is an area.

6:04

And so it brings me, it's less frustrating and overwhelming and discouraging.

6:10

And I'm a little bit excited to experiment and see how changing a little bit

6:17

of this and a little bit of that. And, you know, I'm excited to see how that works out. So wish me luck and read my blog.

6:26

I'm about to like, I'll say by tomorrow morning, in BST, British Standard Time.

6:33

It should be on my website.

6:36

And yeah, I'm super excited. I'm super excited. Anyway, we'll talk soon. Hope you are doing well.

6:43

This is Masha Kershally. Bye.