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Welcome back, guys, to the Butterfly Season podcast, where we celebrate the beauty and the transformation.

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I am your host, aisha Marshall, and today we are diving into all things the Butterfly Season Transformation Journal.

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If you have not listened to the episode prior to this one, pause what you're doing and just go back to that one, because we are going to be building on each other in this season right now.

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So I want you to get a lay of the land from the first episode and then come back here because we're going to dive into the heart work.

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Welcome to the Butterfly Season Podcast, where we find the beauty in the cocoon season.

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You know the season we have to go through before we live life fully in our butterfly season.

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My name is Ayesha Marshall and I know a thing or two about cocoon season.

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Here's the thing on paper. I had everything I ever wanted Great life, thriving business, forbes, 30 under 30, on the cover of magazines and, at the peak of it all, something didn't feel right.

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So I chose to literally burn it all to the ground.

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Cue my cocoon season.

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I thought burning it to the ground would solve all of my problems.

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Turns out that was just the beginning. Cocoon season is where our wings are formed in the chaos, challenging it, overcoming it, reimagining what life may look like.

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And one of the biggest lessons was the growing doesn't stop Through the stories of others, experts in different modalities, get ready for the metamorphosis, because once you're strong enough to burst out of the cocoon, imagine how beautiful your wings will be.

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Have you ever felt like your life is literally on a rerun, like you're dating the same person over and over and over again?

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And it's not literally the same person, because some of us do this. We do date the same person over and over again, but it's not quite literally the same person over and over and over again.

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And it's not literally the same person, because some of us do this. We do date the same person over and over again, but it's not quite literally the same person.

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It's the same personality, the same arguments, the same fallouts, the same contention with different people.

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Have you maybe had that in friendships?

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You meet the same girl or the same guy over and over and over again and you're having the same falling outs with them, or you're having the same falling outs with them.

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Or you're wondering why your financial situation doesn't change, why, you know, every time I make a little bit of money, I lose it.

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Or every time I make a little bit of money, I'm just paying off debt.

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I never actually get ahead. I'm just trying to stay afloat with what I have, no matter how much money I have, I'm feeling those same sense of resistance.

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If that's felt like you, that's felt like me too, and that's why I created the Butterfly Season Journal, because I realized that there is an importance in issue spotting.

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There is an importance in understanding that there's a pattern at play here, because that's the window to pointing you in the direction that you need to move to, to do some work on yourself, to actually create change in your life so you stop repeating those patterns.

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I want to tell you a pattern that was coming up for me and this is a vulnerable share but I felt like why, every time I get money, I feel like I'm just trying to stay afloat and it doesn't matter how much or how less Literally, the number doesn't matter.

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The feeling has always stayed the same and so I said you know what, I know what I need to do.

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I need to do some hard work. I need to open up my journal and walk myself through that process to understand what is the issue here?

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What's the driver? What's the fear? What is this coping mechanism that I'm trying to do to create to help meet this need of safety?

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Right, because if it doesn't matter how much money I'm making, I'm still feeling this way.

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I'm trying to create safety with making a lot of money, but I'm not getting the safety that I want, despite the amount of what I make.

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And what I realized is the feeling was a feeling of safety. And if you listened to the previous episode and I want to encourage you, if you haven't gone back right now, now is your chance to go back to the first episode but if you listen to the first episode, you'll know that the villain origin story, that inception, point the roots of where we've created and, like, planted ourselves.

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What's happened in that moment usually dictates how you do that thing over and over again.

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And there was a time when I was a sophomore in high school.

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It was my first time trying out for the cheer team.

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I was so excited and I didn't cheer my freshman year, but at this point, as a sophomore like you, could be on varsity if you got a high enough score.

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And I, you know, danced my ass off, got a high enough score to make varsity.

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But it not only was it the highest score to the high enough score to be on varsity, rather it was the highest score and it was a big deal.

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Because it was like, oh my God, this sophomore came out of nowhere and you know all the things in high school, like high school time.

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You know. It's like a big deal, even though now we can kind of laugh about it.

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But I was like I'm about to be on varsity.

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Nobody can tell me anything about me right now.

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Right, like I was feeling really good and really great. And I went home and told my mom I made varsity, I'm so excited.

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Here's a pamphlet to read of the responsibilities and the requirements.

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And she looks at it and she says you can't do it.

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And I was like what?

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What do you mean? I can't do it?

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You let me try out. Why can't I do it?

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And she was like we can't afford this, we can't afford to pay for you to be on this team.

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And it was in that moment that I realized, okay, there's someone in charge of safety, there's someone in charge of money.

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Like you don't realize that you're unsafe until you're unsafe, like the whole time, you're like I'm safe, I have money, I'm eating food, I'm not paying bills.

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I'm just living my life as a high schooler Like that's not my priority.

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And it was in that moment that I was like how the fuck am I going to go back and tell people that I can't be on this team?

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They're going to think that I'm poor because we can't afford it.

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And so I go to school, don't say anything, because I'm like hopefully it gets figured out.

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And then I go home the next day and my mom's like you know what you can do it. I just put it on a credit card.

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And if you think about that pattern, what I made that mean is anytime I'm feeling unsafe or anytime I'm feeling like I need to do something that I want to do because of what it will look like to other people if I don't put it on a credit card.

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So I've been doing that putting it on a credit card.

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Oh, I want to do this because of what it'll look like. I don't want people to think that I'm poor.

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Put it on a credit card. I want to do this because I don't know.

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Put it on a credit card, I'm going to pay it back, I'll make more money to do it and while that might have I mean, credit is a great thing when you can do it the right way, right To float you so that you're not leveraging all of your cash and all the things.

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And that's not what I'm trying to get into. What I'm trying to get into is that continuously imploring the same behavior over time is a never ending cycle, which is why, no matter how much you make, if you're constantly doing that, you will never make enough.

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And as an adult and while that may have worked maybe in college when I had my first credit card, that was like 300 bucks on it, right, like while that may have worked as an adult, when you have more money and more things that you can do, if it's rooted in perception of what people will look like and to make myself feel safe or feel like a sense of belonging, you just put it on a credit card, that's going to actually create the very thing that I don't want the perception of looking poor.

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You actually create the very thing that you don't want. But if it wasn't going through this transformation journal and understanding and asking myself these questions to get to this point, to have the sense of awareness, I wouldn't have the tools to change.

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And so that's my story of how issue spotting has helped me transform my life.

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So we're going to go through four questions that you can ask yourself to issue spot.

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So those four things are similar tensions and I'll break these down similar tensions, similar situations, similar feelings and similar outcomes.

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These are different areas where we can find the clues, to find the patterns.

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So have you had similar contentious events with people?

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If you have, then that's one area to look and you can use the hard work in this journal to start at that moment and reverse engineer to get you out from underneath this pattern.

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Are there similar people that you're meeting that you're noticing?

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Oh wow, I remember three years ago I actually met someone just like this who did the same thing to me.

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Are you noticing those things?

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Because if you are, that's another rabbit hole that we can go down to help you free yourself from yourself.

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Are you feeling similar feelings every time you leave certain situations, people, places or things?

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I know I have a few friends that if I don't implore certain boundaries in my relationship with them, I will leave feeling down bad, not happy, and I'm like I came here in a good mood but I don't know why I'm leaving in a bad mood because nothing really happened, even though something did happen, whether it's a conversation under the table where we kind of know something or we're not speaking about it.

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Whatever it is, I want you to see if you can spot any patterns.

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And the last one is have you acted in certain ways, consistently, where you're like I've only ever done this two years ago and I've only ever did this?

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This happened three times in my life where I acted this way.

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That feels maybe out of character. That's another area that we can look to help you free yourself from these patterns that are holding you back.

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All in all, guys, patterns leave clues. They're like a key to unlocking the door to beginning your transformation.

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You can't just stop at the pattern, because then you're stuck holding the bag like okay, now what?

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Now? I know that I've had the same situation over and over again.

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Now what? The next thing is understanding, like what need has been unmet, and we'll get into that in the next episode.

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And if you haven't already purchased the journal, use B season when you check out to get 10% off your order, and that's B S Z?

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N. That's all for today. I know it was quick.

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I know it was short, but I told you we're going to be here for a while, so we're just going to.

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We're just going to take this in bite-sized pieces.

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I'll see you guys next week. Can I just say thank you so much for being here.

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It means the world to me that we're growing together.

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So if there's someone that you thought of while listening, please share it with them too, and when you share it, let them know that they're not on this journey alone.

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But also, if you just love this episode, take a screenshot, share it on Instagram and tag me at Aisha so I can thank you for hanging with me on this journey.

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Oh, and one more thing Don't forget to rate and write a review with your favorite takeaway, so this podcast can be shared with more people.