0:00

And so I've been trying to clarify . You know a lot of people

0:02

who deal with it . They're successful women , type

0:04

A personalities who are crushing it

0:07

, but they feel like they're still trying to crush it . We're

0:09

trying to arrive , they're trying to do things . It's

0:11

interesting because a lot of people who

0:13

deal with chronic illness or

0:15

deal with any type of barrier in

0:18

their lives who are very successful

0:20

. It's very easy for imposter

0:22

syndrome to see bin and say maybe I'm

0:24

not the right person for this . You know , my

0:27

disease was caused by me . You

0:29

know , or I should be doing better , I should

0:32

be able to be this , I should be able to do it by myself

0:34

. All these things come to mind

0:36

, and so I don't think a lot of people

0:38

realize that this is another

0:40

added layer that comes with

0:42

dealing with life .

0:45

Welcome to Crafted to Thrive , the

0:48

globally ranked podcast for entrepreneurs

0:50

living with chronic illness . I'm

0:52

your host , nikita Williams , and after

0:55

being diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses

0:57

myself , I figured out the

0:59

surprisingly simple missing

1:02

links to growing a profitable business

1:04

without compromising my health

1:06

. Since then , I've helped dozens

1:09

of women just like you learn how

1:11

to do the same . If you're ready to

1:13

own your story and create a thriving

1:16

business that aligns with your health and

1:18

well-being , you're in the right place

1:20

. Together , we're shifting the narrative

1:22

of what's possible for entrepreneurs with

1:24

chronic illness . This is

1:27

Crafted to Thrive . I

1:36

am so excited to have

1:38

Bre on the show . She

1:41

watched out to me , so I'm really excited because she

1:43

wants to share something that I feel like all of

1:45

us deal with so much in the

1:47

chronic illness community and just in life in

1:49

general which is imposter

1:52

syndrome .

1:53

And it looks different .

1:54

I feel like for different

1:56

spaces that we're in

1:58

, but I'm so excited to have you on , so

2:00

please tell us where you are , what you're

2:03

up to right now besides recording

2:05

with me , and we'll hop right on into

2:07

it .

2:08

Yeah , thank you so much for having me on the show . I'm super

2:10

excited . I really have

2:12

listened to your episodes and so

2:14

I was listening to an episode and I told

2:16

my team . I was like you know what ? Let's , let's reach out to her

2:18

, let's see if we can . We can talk , you know , and

2:20

just have a discussion and everything . I am in

2:22

Austin , texas , and that's where my family

2:25

is based , and when this airs

2:27

it'll probably still be hot . So

2:32

, yeah , it's hot , but you know

2:34

, we my family and I , we keep bouncing back

2:36

and forth and we keep ending up back in Austin

2:38

. So we say that this is our , this

2:40

is our forever home base , even if , you

2:42

know , we leave I'm sure we'll be dragged back here

2:44

. But I am a multimedia journalist

2:47

. I've been in that field for over

2:49

a decade . I'm a talk show host , now

2:51

mom of one , two

2:54

soon to have another , so

2:56

two kids will have , and

2:59

so we're just . I've been married for over

3:01

a decade as well , and so we're just kind of in

3:03

this journey of just trying

3:05

our best to leave a legacy

3:07

of helping people at this point in our lives

3:10

.

3:10

I love that and it's so important too

3:12

, and I think it's going to be powerful

3:15

for your kids too .

3:16

I always think about this when kids would be like , yeah , my mom

3:18

was like on TV and she had a podcast

3:20

episode , like , like she had podcast

3:22

like a show and all that kind of stuff . I think it

3:25

brings that journey along

3:27

with them , versus , like back in the day , you used to have

3:29

the books and even though those are important too

3:31

, but they'll be able to visually

3:33

see so many of these different things that create

3:36

and leave a mark on people . Yeah

3:38

, yeah , hopefully by then they'll be a little bit

3:40

further than we all are . You know , when it comes

3:42

to dealing with these things , you know they'll have more

3:45

emotional intelligence and all that kind of stuff

3:47

, but hopefully we'll break some of those

3:49

generational curses .

3:50

Hopefully .

3:51

When that comes , yeah .

3:53

Yeah .

3:53

Well , tell me , why is

3:56

Imposter Syndrome such a passion

3:59

project topic for you ? How

4:01

has this shown up for you and

4:03

why is it something that you want to help

4:06

people to kind of identify

4:08

and overcome ? The main reason

4:10

I want to talk about Imposter Syndrome

4:12

and just kind of put it out there wherever I can is

4:15

because it's a relatively

4:17

new concept that people are understanding

4:19

. There's been a study that was

4:21

done back in the 70s , so it's not a

4:24

new phenomenon that we're

4:26

just now finding out about . It's just now

4:28

we're finally talking about it and there's more

4:30

resources out there , but they're still very

4:32

limited . You can find all this stuff

4:34

about depression , anxiety

4:36

, dealing with you

4:39

know , parenting and aging

4:41

and all that kind of stuff , but when it comes down

4:43

to Imposter Syndrome , there's still a lot to

4:45

learn and in the process , there's a

4:48

lot of misconceptions out there about

4:50

it . So if I were to break it down , imposter

4:52

Syndrome is just the inability to

4:55

acknowledge your accomplishments , your

4:57

value , your worth . You know , and

5:00

sometimes that's external factors

5:02

that have contributed to that and sometimes

5:04

it's internal . You know factors

5:07

and sometimes it's a mixture of both

5:09

, but what I'm finding

5:11

is a lot of people think it's oh

5:13

, I just need to learn to be myself

5:15

. That's what Imposter Syndrome is . You

5:17

know I need to stop walking around being fake

5:19

and that is not it whatsoever

5:22

, and so I've been trying to clarify . You know

5:24

Imposter Syndrome is you're already

5:26

great . You know a lot of people who deal with

5:28

it . They're successful women , type

5:31

A personalities who are crushing it

5:33

, but they feel like they're still trying to crush

5:35

it . You know what I mean . Yeah , they're trying

5:37

to arrive , they're trying to do things , and

5:40

so when I listen to your

5:42

show , it's interesting

5:44

because a lot of people who deal with chronic

5:46

illness or deal with any

5:48

type of barrier in their lives

5:51

, who are very successful

5:53

. It's very easy for Imposter

5:55

Syndrome to see bin and say maybe I'm

5:57

not the right person for this . You know , my

6:00

disease was caused by me , you

6:02

know , or I should be doing better , I should

6:04

be able to beat this , I should be able to do it by myself

6:06

. All these things come to mind

6:09

, and so I don't think a lot of people realize

6:11

that this is another added layer

6:13

. You know that comes with

6:16

dealing with life , you

6:18

know , especially for women who were trying

6:20

to leave their mark on this world in

6:22

some kind of way .

6:23

Yeah .

6:24

I think you had it . I love that you

6:26

said it's not that you're aren't successful

6:28

, it's not that you're already crushing it . I

6:31

think what you're saying is that it's

6:33

more that you're questioning if you are actually

6:35

successful , if you're actually

6:37

crushing it and if you aren't doing

6:39

enough right , and I think that's a piece

6:42

of Imposter Syndrome for me . I literally

6:44

was just recording an episode earlier today

6:46

with someone and I was like , yeah , that's Imposter

6:48

Syndrome . Yeah , yeah , yeah

6:51

, it's thinking up there . How have

6:53

you experienced Imposter Syndrome in your

6:55

journey ? Because you have a very vast experience

6:58

and being on TV

7:00

, being a journalist in different

7:02

ways how has this affected you

7:05

and how are you bringing that experience into

7:07

how you're having this conversation

7:09

? Yeah , so for me

7:11

, imposter Syndrome I learned about the term

7:14

late , in my 20s , and

7:16

so a lot of people say , well , that's not

7:18

late , but it's not late for

7:20

me . I wish I would have known a little earlier , probably

7:22

in my college years , about it . I graduated

7:25

very early , so I did everything

7:27

early . You know , I graduated . I

7:29

was barely 20 when

7:32

I graduated from college , wow , and

7:34

I got married right after that . You

7:36

know , we had a kid not too long after

7:38

that . So we , you know , a lot of things were

7:40

happening very soon in

7:43

my life and I started my career

7:45

at the age of 19 and broadcast

7:47

journalism . So here I am

7:49

, this young person who's

7:52

just being introduced to the world and is living

7:54

all types of life very

7:57

quickly , and a lot of times

7:59

I felt like , oh , I'm feeling because

8:01

I had had this head start

8:04

. I would say I had this head start and

8:06

I was trying my hardest to keep that

8:08

head start . It's like , hey , I'm

8:11

a journalist , I'm doing this , I'm at

8:13

this top 10 market in Houston , texas

8:15

. I'm a producer . You know what else

8:17

can I do ? And am I doing this well enough ? And

8:19

I wasn't very great at the producing side

8:21

, I'm better at camera , and so

8:23

it was a lot of trying to figure out

8:26

how to navigate a

8:28

whole bunch of life changes all at

8:30

once and wanting to be the best I could

8:32

at all of them all at the

8:34

same time . Not realizing life

8:36

is life , it happens . It happens

8:39

over the course of 70 years

8:41

or more , if we're lucky , and I

8:43

was trying to take

8:45

and shovel all this life

8:47

in a very short period of time because I felt

8:49

like there were things that I needed to accomplish before

8:52

the age of 30 . And

8:54

so there was all this pressure , outside

8:57

pressure , that was also pushing

8:59

that . As an African-American woman

9:01

, you're told you got to do it , you

9:03

got to do these things and you have to be

9:06

the best because people aren't going to believe

9:08

that you're good at

9:10

whatever you're good at . You're going to have to work that

9:12

much harder . So I'm getting those messages

9:14

on top of all the internal

9:17

stuff . And so it was a

9:19

lot of that , and with that came a lot of stress

9:21

, and with all that stress it's such a short

9:23

period of time comes illnesses

9:26

, and so in

9:28

my 30s down , we're trying to figure

9:30

out what some of those things are . I've gone through

9:32

a lot of tests to try to figure out

9:34

exactly what it is that

9:36

I'm dealing with being tired , being

9:39

agitated , sometimes gaining

9:41

weight up and down , those types of things , and

9:43

just navigating my health

9:45

inside and out for

9:47

the very first time , taking those things seriously

9:50

. But in that feeling

9:52

, this guilt of I should

9:54

be able to still do all the things in

9:57

the process of healing , which

9:59

is just not the case . And

10:02

so that's where my dive into imposter

10:04

syndrome happened was in my career

10:06

, feeling like I was feeling it and everything

10:08

when everybody around me was telling me

10:10

I'm not , and me feeling

10:12

like I was being patronized and people like , oh , they

10:14

just like me , they love me

10:16

, they have to say that . And

10:19

so that's kind of how my journey started

10:21

was back in my 20s , when I was like , look , enough

10:23

is enough , I am

10:25

not doing . Well , you know

10:28

how do I navigate this ? And someone mentioned

10:30

the term to me and I just started

10:32

to deep dive and started realizing that there wasn't a

10:34

lot of resources out there for

10:36

it , and that's when I decided to start a

10:38

talk show to kind of talk about it , to let people

10:40

know this is a thing and

10:43

people who look like me , look like

10:45

they're very successful , deal with it on a daily

10:47

basis , and the more we talk about it , the

10:49

more we can get past it . Yeah

10:52

, wow , wow , 19

10:54

. Yeah

10:56

, I'm like whoa , whoa , whoa , yeah

11:00

, 19 . I feel

11:02

like when we're in our teenage brain

11:05

, still at that age even

11:07

though for women we I mean there's

11:10

science that says that at that age , for women

11:12

, we're usually more around the cognitive level

11:14

of like 22 , 24 . But

11:17

even still to

11:19

feel that feeling of not

11:21

enoughness or like I'm missing

11:23

something or I'm not

11:25

doing enough at that age

11:27

to be in that place can definitely

11:30

be relatable

11:32

for so many of us , right ? When

11:34

I think about that , I think about living with chronic

11:36

illness and how people are like how are you doing

11:39

this ? People are telling you're doing

11:41

so many things , you're doing wonderful , and you're literally

11:43

in the corner thinking is anybody

11:45

gonna call me out in like two seconds ? Like

11:48

somebody is gonna be , like she should not

11:50

be in this room right now . She does not know

11:52

what she's talking about . Even though you've

11:55

done the work , you've gotten to this place , you wouldn't

11:57

have , at 19 , gotten into the newsroom

11:59

broadcast or in a room if you didn't know what you were

12:01

doing . How

12:03

have you found your

12:06

safety and learning how to

12:08

navigate that ? Even today

12:10

, yeah , community has

12:12

been a big part of that . So , surrounding

12:15

myself which was was hard , because

12:17

people who suffer from imposter

12:19

syndrome if they do know it's imposter

12:21

syndrome , even saying that they're

12:24

suffering with it , there's a fear of I'm

12:26

going to be found out and

12:28

people are gonna say no , that's not imposter syndrome , you just

12:30

are awful , you're

12:33

not capable . It's like it's not imposter syndrome

12:35

, you're just incompetent . Those are the things

12:37

that you're worried , you're about to hear and

12:40

so , being in the spotlight

12:42

on camera . You're asked to hide

12:44

a lot of yourself , right

12:46

, you're asked to be yourself , but

12:48

not too much of yourself . Show everybody the good parts

12:50

, but all the rest of that you just keep it in

12:52

and you carry it home with you , especially

12:55

when you're a journalist , when you're on camera

12:57

, and so it was very hard

13:00

for me to reach out to people . Luckily , I

13:02

was married . That was

13:04

the blessing of being married super early , as

13:06

I had my husband , who often

13:09

just kind of spoke the opposite of those thoughts

13:11

that I was thinking , and of course , I thought

13:13

, oh , he loves me , he doesn't

13:16

want to see what's out , he's gonna tell

13:18

me all these things , but the

13:20

truth is it started with him . It was

13:22

no , you can do this . And he

13:24

would list off everything

13:27

that proved that

13:30

I was where I needed to be , that I deserved

13:32

to be there and that

13:34

I should want more at times

13:36

when I didn't want more , and

13:39

so I was lucky to have him . And

13:41

then later , towards

13:43

the end of my 20s , I met all

13:46

of these different women here in Austin , texas , who

13:48

I became friends with and

13:50

we started dreaming together . These

13:52

are all entrepreneurial minded women

13:55

who really had

13:57

dreams , had goals , and some

13:59

of them felt like can

14:01

I do this ? Am I good enough to do this ? What

14:04

am I thinking ? Is this crazy ? And

14:07

so we would just all talk to one another and

14:09

we would do those same things , those same discussions

14:11

that me and my husband were having , we

14:13

were having in this group , and it would be like no

14:16

, come on , you can do this . And

14:18

so being in community and being honest

14:21

and vulnerable was

14:23

the thing that kind of helped me kind of

14:25

navigate imposter syndrome

14:27

. Now I'm not gonna lie and say that I'm completely

14:30

fine . I don't

14:32

have those thoughts and those moments . They're

14:34

few and far between , they don't happen

14:37

as often . And so community

14:39

is what you need , because you can't do

14:41

any of this alone , especially

14:44

if you're dealing with other life things on top

14:46

of that . I mean , most of us on that

14:48

group have kids . Most of us on that

14:50

group are in some type of relationship . If we're not

14:52

married , all of us are

14:54

very diverse , different

14:57

women of color , and we're all

14:59

battling life as

15:02

well as these thoughts of can

15:04

I do this ? And so having

15:06

that community is the

15:08

most crucial part of

15:10

it . You know , after you're identifying what

15:12

it is , and so I think a lot of people are

15:14

also just walking around , not realizing that they're

15:17

suffering from imposter syndrome . They think

15:19

it's depression , they think it's anxiety , and for me

15:21

I thought it was depression , solely

15:23

depression , you know . And

15:25

so I found myself trying

15:28

to heal what

15:30

I thought was depression , when that was never the case

15:32

, you know it was . Hey

15:35

, I think I should be able to do all

15:37

the things on my own all the time

15:39

, and no one can do that . That's

15:41

not how we're built . So community

15:43

is a big part . That kind of has helped

15:45

me , you know , move past a lot

15:47

of some of these issues I was dealing with .

15:50

I love that you said that .

15:53

I feel like it's like when people say you know what you need

15:55

to do when you need to lose weight , like you need to eat better

15:57

, you need to sleep , you need to exercise and

15:59

you're like I wish someone would said something else

16:01

, like take a pill or something

16:04

like , something other than those things . But

16:06

I feel like community is so underrated

16:08

when it comes to so

16:11

many things , specifically

16:13

an imposter syndrome , and it is so

16:15

important , as you're saying , like to have those people

16:17

in your life to

16:20

really breathe that belief

16:22

and to like kind of give

16:24

you a wall to put that self doubt

16:26

somewhere else and

16:29

to hear it differently . Yeah , there

16:31

was something you said earlier that made me think about

16:33

this in the context of where you're

16:36

working from , Because I think a lot of my

16:38

clients and people that I've

16:40

talked to is this public persona

16:43

, like in the community . If you're honest

16:45

and vulnerable , they know the real you , they know

16:47

what's going on , they know you

16:50

know your demons and your angels

16:52

. Things are going on in your head but everyone

16:55

else doesn't know . And so you

16:57

were saying in your journey

16:59

, being on camera

17:02

, being in the persona of people

17:04

seeing you as a news anchor , versus what

17:06

really was going on . It's very

17:08

similar to women that I work with

17:10

with chronic illness . We , many

17:12

of us , are invisible chronic illness words you cannot

17:15

see from our faces and our body that

17:17

we deal with pain

17:20

like debilitating pain

17:22

, pain that brings you to the hospital , Like

17:24

pain , right , and

17:26

you're still showing up to

17:29

me . That adds to that imposter syndrome

17:31

so much . And I'm wondering what

17:34

would you say to someone who's like listening

17:37

to this and is like , yeah , I have imposter syndrome and

17:39

yeah , it's heightened because of this

17:41

kind of two

17:44

worlds of us , like we are two worlds

17:46

. How does that work ? Yeah

17:48

, so first I would say

17:50

you gotta identify

17:53

where some of those thoughts come from . You

17:55

know , Because you had some of those thoughts patterns

17:57

before you got diagnosed

18:00

with whatever it is . It makes me think

18:02

about my mom . My mom has

18:04

struggled with illness my entire life

18:06

, where she's in pain and you'd never

18:08

know she gets

18:10

tired and you'd never know . And

18:13

my mom , I have

18:15

always thought she was super woman . I've

18:17

always thought especially now that I'm a mom like , how

18:19

did she do all of this stuff

18:22

? You know , I

18:25

remember saying , mom , you never asked for

18:27

help . Why didn't you ask for help ? And she

18:29

says , well , I just thought I needed to be able to

18:31

do it for you all . I didn't want you all to look

18:33

at me and think , oh

18:36

, what is she doing ? You know when

18:39

, those types of thoughts

18:41

they carry into

18:43

your children , you know those types

18:46

of thoughts they carry into your community , and

18:48

if you're not open about what's going

18:50

on , it's hard

18:52

, it's hard for you to continue . You've got

18:54

to identify where those thoughts come from

18:56

. And so I come from a generation

18:58

of very strong women who want

19:01

to be very independent , who are very

19:03

independent . But with

19:05

that comes this level of

19:07

toxic thinking of

19:09

, hey , I have to do this myself , oh

19:12

, and if they found out , this is what they're gonna think

19:14

, right . So you have to identify

19:16

where that comes from . And so for a lot

19:19

of my , the women in my family , it's

19:21

being African-American women who felt that they

19:23

did not have the right nor

19:25

the space to fail in

19:27

any way , Because if I fail , it's

19:29

over . If I slip up

19:32

, it's over . I worked so hard

19:34

for this opportunity when

19:36

no one wanted me to have this opportunity . If

19:38

I fail , it's over . And it's not

19:40

just over for me , it's over

19:42

for my children and their

19:44

children and their children's children . And

19:47

so that's kind of you know the ideas

19:49

that were introduced in

19:52

my culture . And so recognizing

19:55

for her , I think recognizing

19:57

hey , this is an issue kind

19:59

of helps her in later years

20:01

. You know , when I was a teenager , she would start asking us

20:04

for help . You know , if they said you clean your room

20:06

, you know those types of things . And

20:08

so I think , recognizing that

20:10

I had a mom who

20:13

I thought was super room because she did all the things I'm

20:16

now comparing . You know , I

20:18

need to be super mom , like mom , and do all the

20:20

things because she was hurting

20:22

, she didn't feel good and she still did all

20:24

of that . Why can't I right

20:27

? So you have to identify those

20:29

. Why can't I's , or what

20:32

if I or if I , those

20:34

types of thinking ? You gotta identify

20:36

them and you have to take

20:38

note of them and , if it helps , write them down

20:41

so that you know , look , this

20:43

is what I'm doing , this is what I'm saying to myself

20:45

. It doesn't sound like love

20:47

. So

20:49

I tell people , when they're trying to overcome

20:51

this type of thing especially if they're dealing

20:53

with something that's life altering on

20:56

top of that to navigate

20:58

those thoughts and then give yourself grace

21:00

because you are not pouring

21:02

from the same cup that a healthy person

21:04

is pouring from . You're pouring

21:06

from a cup that is already depleted

21:09

and that is not your fault

21:11

. There should be no shame in that your

21:13

cup is already depleted . It's not fair

21:15

. Let's move past that . What

21:17

can you do to give yourself grace ? It

21:20

could start with the way you speak to

21:22

yourself . It can start with

21:24

a type of love and self care that

21:26

you show yourself to be patient

21:28

with yourself , and if that means the dishes have

21:31

to wait , they have to wait . That

21:33

means that you can't get that reported in that day

21:35

. It's gonna have to wait , you

21:37

know . And just giving yourself grace and

21:40

demanding that people around you also

21:42

give you that grace , because

21:45

you have a right to it , because

21:48

I mean , that's honest . The truth

21:50

about it is you can give yourself self care all day

21:52

, but if you have a boss or

21:54

a spouse or a friend or a family

21:57

member or someone in your life who's

21:59

demanding more of you

22:01

than they should , then that's

22:03

not okay and don't say , oh well , they

22:05

should treat everybody the same way . No , that's

22:07

not how life works . No

22:10

one is being treated the same way ever . They

22:13

demand that grace , right , and so that's what I

22:15

would tell your viewers

22:17

, your audience , is that you know , identify

22:19

where that came from , give yourself

22:21

grace and then demand the grace that

22:23

you deserve . Those three elements

22:25

, that's what's gonna change . That's what's gonna

22:27

help , you know , move forward , and you might

22:30

actually find healing in that , physically

22:33

as well . Yeah .

22:35

It's so true , Brie , that

22:37

I went through that experience

22:39

. I still go through that experience . I

22:42

still go through that experience of acknowledging

22:46

that it's not necessarily

22:49

a comparison .

22:49

I think it's the comparison with what your

22:52

own expectations are of yourself

22:54

that aren't really realistic in the first place , and

22:57

to your point of really thinking about

22:59

where does this come from ? I didn't , we didn't just

23:01

come out the womb with the thought

23:03

of I need to

23:05

be doing everything , because for

23:07

a very long time , from baby

23:10

birth to what three , four

23:12

, five we depended on someone else

23:14

to take care of some of our needs

23:17

. Right , and if they were not fulfilled

23:19

? If we're getting into the psychology because

23:21

you guys know how much I love psychology , but for

23:23

any of that stuff we get into a

23:26

lot of those thoughts and a lot of those things we deal

23:28

with when it comes to imposter syndrome

23:30

or when it comes to the comparison is

23:33

because a little version of us when we were

23:35

younger thought well , I should

23:37

and I'm responsible

23:39

for taking care of this thing

23:41

and no one else can do it . I need to create

23:43

safety for myself . So I'm gonna

23:46

take it on , I'm gonna be the one right

23:48

. And in reality , what

23:51

if that was never your responsibility ? Yeah

23:54

, right , and I think

23:56

that part , like you were saying , just to identify

23:59

, do I even wanna be like

24:01

my mom . That's the one thing I said recently

24:03

, like do I really wanna be a superwoman

24:05

like that ? Because she , as much as she

24:07

had it going on and as much as she had things

24:10

happening . Man , I remember

24:12

being a kid thinking like it

24:14

seems like a lot , as a kid seeing like

24:16

that's a lot right , and so I

24:19

love that . You said like , where's this coming from ? No

24:21

words coming from . Such a good point

24:23

. Yeah , yeah , and just

24:25

it's not that . I mean

24:27

there are things that are like in life that are serious

24:29

. Yeah , but if we really think about the things

24:32

that are keeping us up , that are bothering

24:34

us when it comes to

24:36

not resting , when it comes

24:38

to striving and thinking , oh , I'm gonna

24:40

be successful if I do

24:42

this checklist of things , it

24:45

is not that serious . Honestly

24:47

, the most success that I had in my career

24:50

is when I stopped worrying about

24:52

a lot of those checklist things , when

24:55

I said you know what , fine , I can do it . Fine

24:57

, that's always when the calls came

24:59

. It was when I was like you know what I'm

25:01

done ? I can't do this . You know it's

25:04

when I got the calls that was like hey

25:06

, I remember my call

25:08

to be the main anchor in a

25:10

town where I had been a reporter before

25:12

the main anchor was retiring and

25:15

they called me up and said hey , bree , she's

25:17

retiring , do you wanna be our main anchor ? And I remember

25:20

thinking do you have the right number ? I

25:22

don't think you have the right number and

25:24

at the time I've never told anyone this , so all

25:26

your viewers are getting the scoop . I was laying

25:28

in my son's playroom feeling

25:31

so defeated because there

25:33

were so many things that I wanted to have

25:35

accomplished that week that I hadn't

25:38

accomplished . I was a stay-at-home mom

25:40

, I wasn't on television anymore . My

25:42

son was running around crazy

25:44

. He was two years old . And

25:46

I'm laying in his playroom on the couch like

25:49

you know what I give up . I just give

25:51

up . I just give up Like I guess this is just

25:53

my life , I can't

25:55

do anything right . And then I get a call

25:57

hey , we want you to

25:59

come and be our main anchor . No

26:02

, it's not that serious . I wasn't doing

26:04

all the things . I wasn't doing all the list , I

26:06

was just trying to survive . And here I'm getting

26:08

a call about that

26:11

would change the trajectory of

26:13

my career . And

26:15

then , not too long after that , it's like hey

26:17

, I'm gonna start my own talk show

26:20

. Who am I to do that ? But I'm gonna do it . And

26:22

I wasn't checking off the things then either . I

26:25

was like , hey , I'm in this industry because my child

26:27

needs me . What am I gonna

26:29

do now ? And I got approached to a talk

26:31

show . Checking off the things on

26:33

your list is not gonna change whatever

26:35

it is that this life has for

26:38

you , and I believe

26:40

that when you're dealing with an illness

26:42

, your healing

26:44

is not gonna come because you've checked out

26:46

all these lists . I

26:49

got goosebumps . You say that You're like over

26:51

here , like , oh , you

26:55

find that you're doing this deep dive in Google . I

26:58

mean , I watched my mom do that , trying

27:00

to figure out what she could do to

27:02

be healthy so she could accomplish

27:05

more . When I was

27:07

looking at her as a child , feeling like she

27:09

was doing everything that

27:11

, oh my gosh , how am I ever gonna live

27:13

up to this ? I don't think that it

27:15

was that analytical at the time

27:17

. I thought it was probably a little

27:19

simpler than that . But I'm

27:21

looking at it now , thinking how am I gonna do

27:24

this , all these types

27:26

of things ? And the truth is , who says that that's

27:28

who you're supposed to be ? Who

27:30

says that that's where you're gonna find your happiness and your success

27:32

. So I would ask people

27:35

to take that pressure off themselves as

27:37

we move forward , because that's the other part of the healing is

27:40

just taking that pressure off internally

27:42

and externally . Just take that pressure off because

27:45

what's supposed to come will come , and I'm not talking about manifestation

27:47

, I'm just talking about what's for you

27:50

will be for you . It

27:52

will happen , it's

27:55

so right . It's

27:58

so funny that you say that when you take the pressure

28:01

off , or it's not that big of

28:03

a deal , when you're just like in

28:05

the moment , in the zone and you're not allowing

28:08

all of that pressure to be in the way , and then , or

28:11

even if you are and you feel completely stuck , and

28:13

then someone calls you out and

28:15

is like hey , we would love to have you're like I'm

28:17

over here thinking I am dust

28:20

, even though technically I

28:22

am , but I think I'm lower than dust

28:24

and I'm over here feeling this

28:26

way and someone wants to work with me

28:28

. I feel like that is a common every

28:32

person I've ever talked to who has a business

28:35

and has chronic illness this

28:37

is usually the main

28:39

imposter feeling . I don't know why people

28:41

are paying me for this . And

28:43

it's that feeling because you're

28:46

kind of thinking like I

28:48

should be better , I should be doing better

28:50

. But the moment you kind of release

28:52

that I've had that experience to be where

28:54

I'm like I'm whatever . Whoever's

28:57

gonna call me is gonna call me , whoever's not gonna call me

28:59

is not gonna call me , and then

29:01

it's like the floodgates open .

29:02

I'm like are you serious ? Are you serious

29:04

?

29:06

What is that ? Yeah

29:08

, I don't know . There's no name . I

29:10

don't know if there's a name for it , If

29:12

there is message in a lot of us know

29:14

. I don't know if there's a name for it , but I just

29:16

I've seen it happen , not only

29:18

in my lives , but other people like . Luckily

29:21

, in the short time I've been on this earth , I've seen

29:23

it happen . It's happened in my life three

29:25

different times . I mean , we struggled to

29:27

have our child and I started blaming

29:30

myself , saying you know what , maybe it's because

29:32

I'm not gonna be a good mom . That's how

29:34

deep my imposter syndrome was . It

29:36

wasn't just in the corporate world , it was in every

29:38

facet of my life . Maybe

29:40

I'm just not gonna be a good mom and that's why I can't

29:43

have one , because we lost our first

29:45

and the moment I left

29:47

, it went and went back to work . Way

29:49

before this , you know , I went back to work

29:51

. I went to Spokane , washington , to be a reporter there

29:54

. The moment I stopped worrying about

29:56

it , we had , we

29:58

had one and the doctor said I wouldn't be

30:00

able to have one . They say you're not

30:02

healthy enough , something's not quite

30:04

right , you're not gonna be able to have one . And

30:07

here we are . We had one . You

30:09

know you're on number two , and now I'm on

30:11

number two , so

30:13

Things happen you

30:15

know things , things don't always

30:17

work out . I mean because obviously I

30:19

had to go through the loss of a child

30:22

to get to my child . Obviously

30:24

I had to go through my mother being sick

30:26

to get to . You know , being a 19

30:28

year old successful in college , you

30:31

know there's a lot , that life is

30:33

messy and you're gonna have all this

30:35

stuff that happens . But don't let

30:37

those things make you think that it's you You're

30:40

failing in some way , that you're lacking

30:42

in some way , because that's not the case .

30:45

Yeah .

30:47

So such a good , good message . So

30:49

if someone's listening right now and they're thinking how

30:52

do I know that I've gone down the pit of

30:54

imposter syndrome , like I know

30:56

, like how can they identify some

30:59

things about themselves without

31:01

judgment ? Because I like to

31:03

say we all got stuff and this

31:06

isn't an episode to necessarily

31:08

be like oh , so you've got it . Like another label

31:10

, more of like an acknowledgement

31:13

, yeah , of being like oh , that's

31:15

what I'm dealing with , versus like , oh

31:17

, that's what I'm dealing Like . What

31:19

are some of the things that they can think

31:21

about ? Yeah , so we talked

31:23

about the , the questions that we ask ourselves

31:26

, like who am I ? Why would they hire

31:28

me ? Why am I here ? You

31:30

know , what do they see me to do this ? Can

31:33

I really do this ? You know , am

31:35

I this great person

31:38

that they think I am ? Whatever positive

31:40

thing that someone has labeled on you and

31:42

you think I'm not that

31:44

. They think I'm that , but I'm not that , I'm not

31:47

good . You know , that's

31:49

when you start to say , okay , where

31:51

are these thoughts ? There was a very much imposter thoughts

31:53

. But also

31:55

when it comes to Comparison

31:59

, if you find yourself comparing

32:01

yourself to other people , not just on social media

32:03

, because we do a lot of that , but if

32:06

you find yourself comparing and you

32:08

think I did a good job , but I

32:10

didn't do that as good as someone so

32:12

, and because of that I'm

32:14

not rated this at all . If it's a very

32:17

black and white , oh , I can do you

32:19

like . We can all say I can do better

32:21

. Yeah but if that

32:23

I can do better is I'm just not

32:25

good at it because I'm not at this level yet

32:27

. That's imposter syndrome

32:29

. Right , you did put a book

32:32

out there . It might not have as many

32:34

sales , as you know Oprah's

32:36

book , but Oprah's Oprah , you know

32:38

. So you

32:40

can't say , hey , it's not there

32:42

, so I'm not an author . You wrote

32:45

a book , oh , so you're an author

32:47

. Right , it's that simple

32:49

. So if you start having those thoughts

32:51

, the thoughts of who am I , and

32:53

then the thoughts of comparison that

32:56

invalidate you completely

32:58

, you're dealing with imposter syndrome

33:01

. Also , if

33:03

you're working yourself to the point of

33:05

burnout and this is not just at work

33:07

but also at home If

33:09

you're doing trying to do everything

33:11

all at once , all on your own , because

33:14

you feel like you have to , or

33:16

that says something about you as

33:18

a person , you were dealing with

33:20

imposter syndrome , right or

33:23

close to it . And so

33:25

I tell people to look at these things , and

33:27

the best way to identify those things

33:29

is to write them down , because

33:32

you're gonna forget about them or your brain is gonna

33:34

, you know , distract you . Because that's

33:37

the tricky thing about imposter syndrome

33:39

. I say we have to unmask it all the time

33:42

, because it's your brain tries to mask

33:44

it , right , because you , at

33:46

the core , none of us want to be incompetent

33:48

, none of us want to feel like we're

33:50

fake or that we're not good

33:53

, right . But your brain starts to

33:55

try and mask it when you start

33:57

to dissect those things . So I tell people to

33:59

write it down , write everything down , write

34:01

all those thoughts down , and

34:03

when you start to look at them and you identify

34:06

and you agree and you say , okay , yeah

34:08

, this is probably imposter syndrome , immediately

34:11

start writing the opposite of those thoughts Facts

34:14

and proof that disprove

34:16

those thoughts that you're having . Yeah , it's

34:19

like , oh , I'm not as sick as

34:21

so and so , so , maybe I don't really

34:23

have this thing . No , you

34:25

have a diagnosis from your doctor . Yeah

34:28

, matter how that manifested in them , you

34:31

have a diagnosis , right . Or

34:33

you are in pain . Your pain

34:36

may not keep you at home in bed , but

34:38

you are in pain . Yeah , right , something

34:41

is going on . So you write the

34:43

opposite of those . You know those things and the proof

34:45

that validate hey , I

34:48

am who I say I am , this is what

34:50

it is . And then you find

34:52

community and you take

34:54

those things to community , someone you can trust

34:56

, that you know isn't

34:59

just going to Be

35:01

a yes man for you , but it's really

35:03

gonna sit with you and support

35:05

you in a loving way , yeah

35:07

, and say , hey , you're

35:09

right . And let me add some of these

35:11

other things that I've noticed that you forgot about

35:13

to that list and

35:16

that is how you identify

35:18

it and move past it . You know , at the

35:20

same time , it all has to happen

35:22

together because if you do just kind

35:24

of one piece and you walk away from it , your

35:27

brain and the distractions

35:29

of life are gonna let you do

35:31

that full process . It is work , it

35:34

is a lot of work to move past it , but it is possible

35:36

.

35:36

Yeah yeah , you

35:39

broke down that in such a beautiful way . I'm gonna share

35:41

something super vulnerable here in a second .

35:43

But the writing down and then

35:45

Like to sit within and acknowledge

35:48

it right , like , acknowledge

35:50

it , not judge it , just acknowledge it , work

35:52

with it and then to bring it

35:54

to community is such a powerful Three-part

35:57

system of that . I think it's such a

35:59

great way To

36:01

help you find the evidence to disprove

36:05

those , because their lies really

36:07

what we're saying is Like

36:09

imposter syndrome is a lie . It's all

36:11

of the lies our brain is trying to tell us

36:13

About ourselves from the negative

36:15

point of view , because our brain really is

36:17

Often trying to save

36:19

us , keep us safe , and keeping us safe

36:21

might mean Staying

36:23

smaller , not being seen , working

36:26

harder so that no one actually sees

36:28

what you're doing . All these things , right , and

36:31

it's interesting . I have one sticky little

36:33

imposter thought recently and it's been

36:35

like my husband's been Really working

36:37

with me and it's because of

36:40

society . I think it's more because

36:42

of society and also social

36:44

media and also being

36:46

a woman of color , because

36:48

of the way we Often

36:51

are spoken about , what we're

36:53

perceived about , and I'm always

36:55

like , one of my biggest imposter syndrome

36:57

thoughts and I'm constantly working evidence

36:59

for is am I black enough ? I

37:01

know that's the most ridiculous thing , right

37:03

. Am I black enough ? My husband's like um

37:06

, he's a jokester . He's like Does

37:09

your birth certificate say you're black ? I

37:12

think you are like like this

37:14

is there isn't a like a scale

37:16

of what is black and what's not black ? Like

37:18

you are black , like that's what it is , and

37:21

I find it so Fascinating

37:23

how the brain does it . But I've realized

37:25

the reason . The what brain does it for me

37:28

is Because it's

37:30

this idea that I've put myself

37:32

in this comparison , right , this comparison

37:35

of what a successful Black

37:37

person , black woman , would be doing

37:39

. And so in my measurement

37:41

of that , I'm Looking

37:44

at it that way , like , oh well , I'm not quite

37:46

there yet , or I'm not

37:48

that much into the black

37:50

culture or whatever , like some crazy stuff

37:52

. So I've been really working on the evidence

37:55

of being like how am I black Sounds

37:57

so silly . When you write it down , you're

37:59

like uh , cuz I am . What

38:02

does that even mean ? Like your brain starts thinking

38:04

. For me it's been like the I'm

38:07

in the process of like identifying like

38:09

you . This doesn't even make sense why

38:11

you're even asking this question .

38:12

It's foolery , it's

38:14

fullery , but

38:16

it's powerful when you can have that with yourself

38:19

right , like when you can give yourself that permission

38:21

to go there .

38:22

I don't know , do you have any like

38:25

thoughts or imposter thoughts that you're like

38:27

, come on , that was ridiculous . Oh

38:29

, no , exactly what you just said is a thought

38:31

that I had it for a long time when you said that and I was like

38:33

, oh

38:35

, reading my mail when

38:38

I was called to be the main anchor . I was called to

38:40

be a main anchor in a predominantly white state . Like

38:43

, honestly , I Think

38:46

2% is their African-American

38:48

in the entire state , right

38:50

, so I was called to be the state this

38:52

state has . They had never had an African-American

38:55

anchor Ever in

38:57

the history of the state and this is 2015

39:00

. Wow , whoa , whoa . 2015 is

39:02

when I was their weekend anchor . I left and came back and

39:04

2020 , in the middle of the pandemic , when all

39:06

this race stuff is happening , oh my gosh

39:09

. I was called to be their first

39:11

African-American anchor and

39:13

I

39:16

have had a lot of privilege in

39:18

my life and I've been having to to

39:20

tell people . I recognize that I have privilege

39:22

but because of that privilege , sometimes

39:25

I feel like I don't have the

39:27

right to represent a whole

39:29

social group as an American

39:31

. So that was hard . Being

39:34

there because I had thoughts was like who am I to sit

39:36

up here in this state where

39:38

people have never really seen anyone who's looked

39:40

like me ? Who am I to

39:42

represent that group to them ? Right

39:44

, am I representing it the right way ? Am

39:47

I handling some of these news articles that

39:49

we're reporting on about

39:51

? You know these , you know protests and stuff

39:53

Am I representing

39:56

them the right way ? Am I doing my

39:58

race of justice ? Am

40:00

I being fair ? Should

40:03

I even be able to talk about this like

40:05

? Those were a lot of thoughts that I was having on

40:08

a daily basis and Then

40:10

also having questions for my my you know

40:12

co-workers that it's like do I answer

40:15

this , do I not answer this ? Yeah , and then

40:17

getting hate mail and wondering should I share

40:19

this or not ? You know , am

40:21

I black enough to say that this is racism against

40:23

me , you

40:26

know ? And so that was what I was dealing

40:28

with . It's like , oh , okay

40:30

, like , and so those battles happened every

40:33

I will say every day for a long while

40:35

and I Finally

40:37

had that stop when

40:39

I had this thought . Someone had

40:42

written into the station , said it was very

40:44

offensive to have someone like me on television

40:46

, and I wrestled

40:48

with and it wasn't the first one . It

40:50

was just the first one that was very blatant

40:52

and I do not

40:54

think it's okay that you have this woman on television

40:57

, wow , and I wrestled

41:00

with the pressure to share it and

41:03

I was talking to my producer

41:05

. I shared it with my husband , my very

41:08

white husband . I said this is

41:10

, and he was

41:12

furious , he was angry

41:14

and he said no , you need to let people know that

41:17

this is the cat you know he's like . Enough is

41:19

enough . Like you've been sending

41:21

this and you have people around you who

41:23

are saying that racism doesn't exist and

41:26

you're getting these type of emails . You need to , you

41:28

know , reveal that this is

41:30

the case . And I thought

41:32

no , they're gonna think that I'm lying .

41:34

They're gonna think that I made this up .

41:36

They're gonna think that this is a big deal . They're gonna think that

41:38

I read it wrong , all this kind

41:40

of stuff , and so I almost didn't post it . And

41:42

so I said you know what , I'm gonna take this as an opportunity

41:44

instead , instead of just putting it out

41:46

there on social media , to thank All

41:49

of the people in this community who have sent me flowers

41:51

, who have sent me cards , who have welcomed

41:53

me to their state , and Say

41:56

and explain that the only reason

41:58

I was able to go home that night

42:00

without falling apart and quitting Was

42:02

because of the support I had got from the community . And

42:05

this is what was said to me . I

42:07

put that out there and I

42:09

was expecting , you know , a couple of likes

42:11

, you know , maybe . So I was

42:14

expecting a lot of backlash and

42:16

to just move on . It

42:18

got hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of

42:20

people Responding to it

42:22

saying no , we love you , we think you're great

42:25

. A lot of African-Americans

42:27

telling me we're so happy that you're here in the state representing

42:29

us , because we have it

42:32

half that , thank you . You

42:34

know , my daughter watches you every day

42:36

. She's biracial and she finally

42:38

, you know , feels like she has

42:40

some of it . You know , she can see just

42:42

all those types of things with letters

42:44

and flowers and all this kind of stuff

42:46

, and I finally had

42:48

to look at myself and say this

42:51

is the proof . Right here

42:53

, all these people who saying , yes

42:55

, you represent us , yes

42:57

, you look up like us . Yes , you're needed

42:59

here because we haven't had it that

43:02

I was able to use to stop

43:04

that lie , because

43:06

there's no such thing as black enough . Right

43:09

, we come in so many colors and shades

43:12

and everything . Many , we all sound

43:14

different and come from different parts of this country

43:16

. You know , that's

43:18

something that , yeah , I've had to deal with

43:20

. So my long way of saying

43:23

I agree with you and

43:25

I feel the struggle , oh , wow

43:27

, well , I am so glad this is okay

43:29

.

43:30

So this is an example of community . Yeah

43:32

, right here , bursting up

43:34

some of these lies and this imposter

43:36

syndrome .

43:37

Like , yeah , I think it's , it's real

43:39

and I don't think admitting

43:42

or sharing these stories

43:44

makes anyone less Anything

43:47

. If anything , it gives someone else

43:49

permission to admit or

43:51

to see that , oh , I

43:53

kind of view myself in a certain way

43:55

and it's not necessarily the

43:58

most positive way and I'm okay

44:00

with Hopefully being seen

44:02

in a positive way in the future

44:04

with myself . Like you were saying

44:07

earlier , giving yourself that compassion

44:09

and that self-care , it's okay

44:11

. It's okay , totally

44:13

okay .

44:15

So good . Well , now

44:17

that I've been buried , my soul , and so did

44:19

you um .

44:22

I .

44:23

Yeah , yeah , I was like thinking um , there

44:26

was something that you said earlier and wanted to ask

44:28

you about , which was I ?

44:30

Finds imposter syndrome is kind of sneaky

44:33

because sometimes it's not necessarily

44:35

what you're thinking , but it's something that you're

44:37

doing . That's kind of keeping

44:39

you hidden , so it like holds

44:42

you . Like you you don't even realize you're hiding

44:44

. I find that with my clients I'll ask them and they'll

44:46

be like oh , I don't , I don't

44:48

think I even realized I was doing that . In

44:51

what ways can you be hiding

44:53

In your life or personal life

44:55

when you are dealing with imposter

44:57

syndrome unbeknownst to yourself

45:00

? Yeah , isolation

45:02

and I don't

45:04

mean complete isolation , I don't mean you

45:06

know , you don't talk to anybody or anything like that

45:08

when you are

45:11

scared to share you know

45:13

with other people . When you hear someone

45:15

like right now , like how we just shared

45:17

a moment in the past , I

45:20

probably would have just let you share that and

45:22

say , oh , if I share mine , mine

45:24

isn't as Mine

45:27

isn't as valid as what she just said . You

45:29

know that might have been something that that I

45:31

would say or do or are withhold

45:33

, you know , and Not

45:36

engaging in community wholeheartedly

45:39

because you're worried someone's gonna

45:41

see you right . For a

45:43

long time I didn't share it myself with other people

45:45

. It was like hey , my husband , that's

45:47

all I need . It's just us , you know , and

45:50

I had friends , but they were

45:52

more of Surface level

45:54

friendships . They didn't go deep , we

45:56

didn't talk about anything . My business

45:58

was my business and I wasn't gonna share anything

46:01

with anybody , which is very prevalent

46:03

in the African-American . Yes , you

46:05

know , no , no , show your business right

46:08

, because the last thing I know you

46:12

, how many , how many mama moments that we have

46:14

like how did you go out there and tell you

46:16

, telling our business , oh , yes

46:18

, yes , yes , but what's been waiting to happen

46:21

, though that

46:23

was , that was it . But and

46:25

I agree to some extent you

46:27

don't share everything . No

46:29

one keeps it 100 , no matter how they say

46:32

that they do , because there are certain things

46:34

that just people don't need to know , that , that

46:36

that is none of their business . But

46:38

there are some things with people that

46:41

you can trust that you do need to share

46:43

those things because it's not fair , otherwise

46:46

you're not really doing community Otherwise

46:48

. So if you see yourself isolating and

46:50

not actually engaging with community

46:53

, it's probably because

46:55

You're dealing with

46:57

imposter syndrome , and that's something that you would probably

46:59

do is just kind of stray away from community

47:02

and not share . The other thing is that people are being so arrogant like their

47:04

customers and they are being absolute celebrities , in fact , I think , everyday . What

47:07

you'll also probably do is

47:09

twist . When you have

47:11

those moments with people and you're going

47:13

through the facts , you

47:15

will twist those back to

47:18

validate the lies that

47:21

you're telling yourself to be true . So

47:24

it's like , oh , your thought

47:26

might be , hey , the

47:28

only reason they gave me this promotion

47:30

is because they like me , and

47:34

your combat to

47:36

that is well , but I've put in the work

47:38

. Right . Your mind

47:40

will twist that new confirmation

47:43

that you have that you are not an imposter

47:46

and say , yeah , but you didn't put in

47:48

that much work . Or

47:50

you didn't put in as much work as so and

47:52

so right . Or

47:54

they didn't even look at that , so they didn't make

47:56

an informed decision , those types of things

47:59

right . You will try and twist

48:01

and go back to that lie because

48:03

your brain has created it . You've

48:05

been telling yourself that lie for so long

48:08

that your brain can't

48:10

let go of it because you've tricked

48:12

yourself into believing it protects you . A

48:15

lot of people believe that their imposter syndrome

48:17

is the reason that they're successful . Right

48:19

, for me . I thought that for the longest time

48:21

I'm like , hey , I'm successful

48:23

because I make myself

48:26

do these things . I

48:28

make myself be

48:30

Bre Clark , right , instead of realizing

48:33

I'm Bre Clark all the time . Right

48:35

, the Bre Clark that people are seeing is not a fake

48:37

Bre Clark , right , it's the best

48:40

110% that Bre

48:42

Clark can be , but Bre Clark

48:44

cannot be 110%

48:46

all the time . That's burnout , right

48:48

, and so that

48:50

is what you'll do when

48:52

you have imposter syndrome . You'll isolate

48:54

, you'll twist those thoughts that

48:57

you have and you'll just

48:59

find a way to keep yourself in that bubble

49:01

because there's this thought

49:03

that I'm successful . I've been doing it this way for

49:05

so long . Right , it's obviously

49:08

working for me . You know , when

49:10

it's not , you're causing yourself

49:12

depression , you're causing yourself anxiety , you're causing

49:14

yourself illness . When you

49:17

don't address imposter syndrome , there's

49:19

a lot of stake that people

49:21

just don't realize .

49:23

Yeah , our thoughts y'all . They have so

49:26

much power over our bodies

49:28

and how we respond to

49:30

them .

49:31

Like , if you've ever read the book the

49:34

Body Takes the Blow , it's an

49:36

amazing book . It's about trauma

49:38

and like negative thinking and how it

49:40

literally affects and creates

49:43

these symptoms

49:45

that we all deal with . You know , depression

49:47

, certain chronic illnesses . It triggers

49:49

different diagnoses , things

49:51

that were dormant then become not

49:54

dormant . Like all of these things , a lot

49:56

of it is systematic

49:58

from what our thoughts are doing

50:00

in our head and how it affects

50:02

our body , and so you're so right

50:04

, those thoughts , they're hard to

50:07

identify , especially if they're

50:09

sneaky . So that's why I wanted to ask that question

50:11

and be like what would you be doing if you were

50:13

like I don't have imposter syndrome

50:15

, I'm fine . This is what it

50:17

could look like , okay , yeah

50:19

, yeah , it definitely could look like those things

50:21

, yes , yeah . And I think it's interesting

50:24

too , because when you were talking about the isolating

50:27

especially for my chronic illness warriors

50:29

and also like the turning

50:31

the thoughts , especially if you're an entrepreneur

50:34

, there is that's a very common

50:36

one that I'm

50:38

guilty of and I see my clients go

50:40

through which is the thinking of they

50:43

don't realize it's imposter syndrome . When they're comparing

50:45

, someone says , oh , you did such a good

50:47

job . I can't believe , like some of my clients recently

50:50

just started their own podcast and

50:52

they've had a lot of things going on and I'm

50:54

like it's amazing that you're doing this , it's so

50:56

great that you're doing this .

50:58

And then they eternalize and say well

51:00

, it's not as good as so-and-so . And

51:02

I just started and I'm like do

51:05

you know how hard this is for just a normal

51:07

person to do ? Like it's

51:10

amazing .

51:10

But that in itself is

51:12

the comparison often comes into

51:15

, like an able-bodied person who doesn't have

51:17

a chronic illness or disability that we

51:19

know of . We compare to what

51:21

we believe the normal person would have

51:23

been able to accomplish if

51:25

they didn't have chronic illness , and

51:29

it's never the case . It's just a lie

51:31

. So I appreciate you sharing that , because

51:33

I definitely wanted them to have an idea of

51:35

like , oh , I kind of do do

51:37

that and now I know why . Yeah

51:39

, yeah , yeah , yes

51:42

. So powerful .

51:43

So thank you for sharing

51:46

all of this information about imposter

51:48

syndrome . If someone were listening

51:50

to this , what would you want them

51:52

to know ?

51:53

Yeah , oh gosh , there's

51:56

a lot I would want to know . That's

51:58

like a whole other episode of what things

52:00

I wish . What you didn't know . Oprah

52:02

has a book . So much of that of things

52:04

. I'm sure I'm

52:06

gonna get it wrong , so never mind . But basically

52:09

, what I would tell people is it's

52:11

just to be kind

52:14

to yourself , to show yourself

52:16

that love and that compassion is

52:18

the most important thing . And I'm not saying

52:21

it in a very superficial way like , oh , love

52:23

yourself , because that's hard when

52:26

you're living in a world that is telling you

52:28

that there's something wrong with you every step

52:30

of the way , that you need to be better

52:32

, you need to be richer , you need to be better , you

52:34

need to be smarter , you need

52:36

to be lighter these things

52:38

that is what the message is that

52:40

people are coming against . And

52:42

when you're dealing with imposter syndrome , that's

52:45

even more so , because not only is the world

52:47

bullying you , you're bullying yourself , and

52:50

the biggest way to combat that is

52:53

to find self-compassion

52:55

, self-love , and that

52:57

starts from within . You

52:59

can do all these tricks that I'm telling you . You can write

53:01

things down , you can get in community

53:04

, you can identify

53:06

what's going on , you can try

53:08

and have more grace , but you have to find

53:10

that love and self-worth deep

53:14

, deep down within and

53:16

hold on to that . Self-love

53:19

starts from within and that's not going to come from

53:21

anywhere else . And

53:23

for some people listening , I know that that's hard

53:25

, because for

53:28

some people they don't feel like they're

53:30

worthy of that love . They

53:32

haven't seen it . So they're

53:34

like well , what do you mean ? What does that look

53:36

like ? And that starts with

53:38

just the thoughts that you have

53:40

, what you tell yourself . Tell

53:42

yourself that I'm loved , that

53:44

I'm worthy , that I'm a good person

53:47

, I'm a good mom , I'm a good friend , I'm a good

53:49

wife . Saying those things , even

53:51

when you don't believe they're true , does

53:54

something in your brain . It

53:56

does something in your heart . That

53:58

helps it be

54:01

easier to say that next day . And

54:03

the more that you say it , the more you say it in the mirror . And

54:05

I know people are like well , that's odd , it's awkward

54:07

, it's supposed to be awkward , it's

54:10

supposed to be , yeah , if

54:12

it's very easy . You don't have imposter

54:14

syndrome and none of that . What I

54:16

said pertains to you . So

54:20

it's going to be hard and

54:22

it's going to feel awkward . But you got to

54:24

look in the mirror , you got to look yourself in the eye and

54:27

you got to say I love myself , I'm

54:29

good enough , I have done the things

54:31

, and even if I don't do another

54:33

thing , my life has

54:35

value . Even

54:38

if I don't do anything else , today

54:40

, the fact that I am breathing

54:42

is adding value to this

54:44

world , because one

54:46

thing that I have learned and

54:48

I want people to know is that there's

54:50

that one person that you least

54:53

expect they mean the world

54:55

to that you probably

54:57

don't even talk to you every day . You haven't talked to them

54:59

in a year or two years or whatever and

55:02

you mean the world to them , and

55:04

without you , the

55:06

world wouldn't be the same for them . It

55:09

just wouldn't . The thought of

55:11

you is very important

55:13

to someone that

55:15

you least expect . It is not your husband

55:18

, it is not your son or your

55:20

daughter . They love you too , and they'd be

55:22

devastated , but there is someone else who

55:24

loves just as much that

55:27

needs just the essence

55:30

of you walking around , and

55:32

it has nothing to do with any of your work

55:34

or the things that

55:36

you've put out into this world . Your doing does

55:38

not matter . Your being is

55:40

what matters to them most .

55:42

Oh girl , you had me goosebumps all

55:44

through this .

55:46

I'm like trying not to cry because I'm

55:49

thinking of people who have like what

55:51

you said or like they said , and I'm like what

55:53

did ? What did I do ? And they're like

55:55

I can't explain it . And it is what

55:58

you're saying , it had nothing to do with the

56:00

doings , about the being , and I

56:03

preach that all day long to my clients . But

56:05

hearing someone else say that is like

56:07

whoo . It's goosebumps for me , like it's

56:09

such a good point to remember . I

56:11

so appreciate you saying that , because

56:13

I think we all need to be reminded that

56:16

, yeah , it's not the doing . We focus

56:18

so much on the doing in the world . That's

56:21

important , but not as important as

56:23

being who we

56:25

are , like just being so

56:27

, so powerful . It does

56:29

feel weird If you have a here's a little tip

56:31

for anyone who's listening Like I cannot talk

56:34

to myself like that . Put on Mary

56:37

J Blythe song gorgeous

56:40

, oh , yes and

56:42

just stand in the mirror and dance

56:44

and listen to her say it for you

56:46

until you can use the words to say

56:48

it for you , and you will feel I love that song

56:51

. It's the song that really helped

56:53

me through a lot of life , but

56:55

she has a line in there that's just like before

56:57

I put on makeup before I even wash my face

56:59

, brush my teeth . I'm looking in that

57:02

mirror and I'm just saying good

57:04

morning , gorgeous , and I just love

57:06

it . I just love it . Yeah

57:08

, ooh , I like that .

57:10

So try that If saying the

57:12

words I love you you are worthy

57:14

is weird to yourself

57:16

.

57:17

Yeah , maybe music will help . Yes

57:19

, I agree . Stamble with approval

57:22

.

57:23

Well , thank you so , so very much

57:26

for coming on the show . Please tell

57:28

us how we can connect

57:30

and learn more about your mission

57:32

on helping others to overcome

57:34

identify and

57:36

kind of just move through imposter

57:39

syndrome .

57:40

Yeah , ok , for all of you that haven't

57:42

run off who are still here with me , you

57:45

can find all of my information . So

57:47

we have two seasons of my show , the

57:49

Real Deal with Bre Clark . You can find that

57:51

on YouTube . It's exclusively there and

57:54

that's YouTube . If you do

57:56

like a backslash , bre Clark TV , bre

57:58

with 1E , that's where you can find

58:01

me . And we have just people just like

58:03

myself who are navigating imposter syndrome

58:05

and you would just never think or know that

58:07

they're dealing with that . I mean , we have a guy

58:10

on there who has a show on Disney Plus

58:12

Nat Geo and

58:15

he has dealt with that and still does in some

58:17

way . So I would really have

58:19

you able to go check it out . There's also my website

58:21

and that's brecklarktvcom

58:24

, where you can find more about

58:27

the episodes . There's some merchandise

58:29

there , because I'm really into the accessories

58:31

. That proclaims you are

58:33

the real deal , because I really believe that

58:35

it's not just something that you say

58:37

, it's something that you live out and you tell yourself . So

58:39

I am the Real Deal all day long . So

58:42

you can find all that on my website

58:44

. And then Instagram is where I

58:46

live most of my life and

58:49

you can find a lot more there , a lot more

58:51

about me and my husband and my son . And

58:53

just some tips and some words

58:56

of affirmation every once in a while

58:58

on Instagram . And that's also BricklarkTV

59:01

with 1E .

59:02

Love it , thank you , thank you again

59:04

. We'll have all of that in the show notes . We'll talk

59:06

about it in the intro too . Just

59:09

so thankful for you today . Thank you

59:11

for sharing this space with me . That's

59:15

a wrap , y'all . Thanks for tuning in

59:17

to Crafted to Thrive , the podcast that

59:19

helps entrepreneurs with chronic illness

59:21

to thrive and build a holistic

59:24

business and life . Check

59:26

out our website at craftedtothrivecom

59:28

for this episode show notes and all the

59:31

gifts and goodies . Connect with me

59:33

on Instagram at thrivewithmikita

59:35

for more tips and behind the scenes

59:37

and more . Tap me to share

59:39

what you loved about this episode and I'll

59:42

feature you on an upcoming episode

59:45

. So until next time , remember

59:47

, yes , you are crafted

59:49

to thrive .