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1:08

You

1:08

know what, Ethan? I've been thinking.

1:10

We have a show. It's a podcast.

1:13

Did you know there's other types of podcasts out there?

1:15

Really? Did you know that there's some

1:18

other types of podcasts out there?

1:21

I didn't. Thanks for letting me know. One such

1:24

podcast show is called Evergreen

1:26

in the Hidden Signal. Oh, what's

1:30

it about? It's a psychological

1:32

sci-fi thriller from Hidden Signal, Q-Qo's

1:35

new podcast anthology series, and

1:37

it follows seven of the world's greatest minds who

1:39

find themselves trapped in a subterranean

1:41

biosphere as an asteroid destroys

1:43

the surface of Earth.

1:44

Damn, that sounds crazy. There's

1:46

probably more about it that we should

1:49

talk about that you should read now. I think

1:52

so. I think these four survivors are

1:54

tasked with rebuilding society.

1:56

Intentions rise as alliances

1:59

form and fractions... But when

2:01

Hannah, voicefied Lana Condor, Shout

2:03

out Lana. ...discovers that Evergreen is malfunctioning.

2:06

Will she be able to convince the group to work

2:08

together before the Utopia that was meant to save

2:10

them, kills them? No.

2:14

It's not that supposed to save you as it's supposed

2:16

to kill you. If I wanted to know more,

2:18

I'd probably search Hidden Signal Evergreen wherever

2:20

I'm listening and follow the show to never

2:23

miss an episode. Evergreen is a nine

2:25

episode psychological sci-fi

2:27

thriller, baby. If you like sci-fi,

2:28

if you like thrillers, if you want to go, what's

2:31

going to happen next? Look

2:33

up. Hidden Signal. Evergreen.

2:36

From Cucumber.

2:39

Greed.

2:40

Greed. I am a

2:42

surgeon. I

2:46

am a surgeon. That's

2:48

the cold open. There you go. I

2:51

am a podcaster. I

2:55

am a podcaster. Doctor

2:57

Hahn! I'm

3:00

really excited that we've made our transition

3:02

from YouTuber to content

3:05

creator to

3:07

influencer to now

3:09

podcasters. We've

3:11

covered the whole gamut. Famous podcasters. We've

3:13

done it, baby. We're in the endgame now.

3:16

Yeah. I just hope

3:18

that what's next isn't what other YouTubers

3:20

do because that's a dark, that's

3:22

a dark, steep slope. I

3:25

wonder, this

3:26

is, I feel like when

3:29

you do the podcast, when you start

3:31

the podcast, do you think people

3:33

sort of think of it as like, this

3:36

is where they retire? Yeah. Is

3:38

it like, is it like creator

3:41

retirement? People are like, that's

3:43

it. How many YouTubers have started

3:45

a podcast that stopped YouTubing

3:47

and just started podding? Every last

3:49

one of them. But not who

3:51

we're going to talk about today. Not us

3:54

and not Sam Ryder of

3:56

the UK. Well,

4:00

he's still on TikTok. He's doing well. Is

4:03

he? That's where he started, right? It was TikTok.

4:05

I don't fucking know. He just seemed to come out of nowhere. Welcome

4:08

back, I guess. I don't know if people prefer if there's

4:10

an intro or not. I'm one of those

4:12

people that's like, yeah, get through your intro. Just shut the

4:14

fuck up already and start talking about what you're gonna talk

4:16

about.

4:17

Exactly. Stop

4:19

yammering on about your yammering.

4:21

Yeah, there's probably a pre-roll ad on this anyway,

4:24

so we're just gonna talk about Eurovision

4:26

now, because that just happened.

4:28

You said you were gonna watch this one! Yeah,

4:31

well, I thought about... Well,

4:34

originally I was gonna be touring

4:36

and I was gonna be there in May, but then I didn't. So

4:40

now I'm not there. That's

4:41

true. I forgot about that. How

4:44

is it watched? Could I

4:46

even watch it? I don't know. We

4:48

watch it on BBC, on the iPlayer.

4:51

So I'm sure you could VPN it or

4:54

something like that or watch it on YouTube

4:56

or someone's pirating it somewhere. Yeah.

4:59

Just go to Kik.com. I'm sure someone's illegally

5:02

doing something there.

5:03

Exactly. For

5:06

the people who... Basically

5:09

everyone that's in the US. Yeah.

5:12

Right? Because isn't Canada a part of it? No,

5:14

Australia are. But this

5:16

is the first year where they opened up voting

5:19

worldwide, so more than ever

5:21

people could vote.

5:23

But yeah, North America isn't

5:25

really a part of it. South America? No,

5:29

it's just Europe and Australia. All

5:31

right, well never mind! This

5:34

is for the rest of the world!

5:36

Explain Eurovision. Oh,

5:39

God. It's like, you

5:42

know when you're in school, and you have a talent show where

5:44

everyone gets up and does their thing?

5:46

It's like that except it's all of Europe,

5:49

and it's just music.

5:50

And Australia. Yeah, they're-

5:53

they've been won over. Britain conquered

5:56

them again. It's like, come on back

5:58

guys! I thought

6:00

that...

6:01

I thought that... Uh... I

6:05

thought there were more countries than just Europe.

6:07

I mean, and Australia. Like, I thought Japan was a

6:09

part of it. I thought that... No. Like... Oh.

6:13

It's Eurovision. Is

6:15

Ukraine a part of it? Yeah, they're in Europe.

6:18

But, but with everything going on, like, were

6:20

they a part of it? Yeah, so they, they

6:23

won last year.

6:24

Um... And then they were supposed

6:27

to host it. Whoever wins hosts it. So

6:29

they couldn't host it this year, obviously. So

6:31

they... They deferred to the

6:34

UK. I don't know why UK got it out

6:36

of everybody. I guess because it hasn't been here in...

6:39

Like, 20 years. So

6:41

they, they brought it back to the UK and had it in Liverpool.

6:43

But it was, it was the Ukraine that were doing

6:46

it, but... It didn't really feel very Ukraine-y.

6:49

I was hoping that they would have way more of that. They showed,

6:51

like, little bits of it in the snippets and... They had

6:53

one presenter out of four was from the Ukraine.

6:56

I

6:56

feel like they could have had half and half, or

6:58

three and one. I feel like Eurovision,

7:02

the way that it's presented and, like, the

7:04

production value of it, is like,

7:07

if American Idol was the Olympics.

7:09

Like, it feels very, like,

7:12

Olympic-style in the way that

7:15

it's presented and stuff like that. Yeah, well, it's

7:17

also because we all vote for each other's countries.

7:19

So it's always like, there's 37 countries voting in it.

7:21

There

7:24

was 26 in the final, 26 acts, but 37 countries

7:26

voting. So

7:30

they always cut to somebody from that country

7:32

and are like, here comes Ireland! And it's always

7:35

Nicky Byrne from Westlife for some reason.

7:37

Except this year. To go back

7:39

to the basics of Eurovision.

7:42

Yeah. It is, it's

7:44

just music, right? Yeah. Just

7:47

music and it's a week long? I

7:50

don't know, because we only, I only ever watched the finals.

7:52

So the finals just the last night, but they

7:54

have like a semi-final and then another one.

7:56

And then, like, everyone

7:58

performs and then they win.

7:59

down to 26 so Ireland

8:02

didn't make it in this year shocker because we're terrible

8:04

lately so but it's just one performer

8:08

per country yeah yeah okay

8:11

they have like they decide that they

8:14

have things in the countries where they decide

8:16

who goes in Ireland they always had like a mini Eurovision

8:19

then whoever won that went on and

8:22

submitted them so I see the action yeah

8:25

I don't division vision

8:30

but Ireland whole used to hold the record

8:32

for the most amount of wins in it I think it's six or

8:35

seven and now Sweden won a

8:37

couple of nights ago and they're tied for

8:39

the most amount of wins than Ireland

8:41

but they've been winning way more lately and Ireland

8:44

haven't won since like I know the 90s

8:47

I wanted to to bring up I

8:50

wanted to do some research really quick the Eurovision

8:53

song contest was held

8:55

originally in 1956 so however many

8:59

years long-standing tradition math

9:02

originally conceived as an experiment

9:04

in transnational television transnational

9:07

television broadcasting following a series

9:09

of exchange broadcast in 1954 the EBU

9:12

commissioned an internal song competition

9:14

whatever

9:15

whatever 66 contests

9:19

have been held since its first edition well

9:21

yeah 1600 songs representing 52 countries

9:24

have performed on the Eurovision stage

9:26

as of 2022 yeah and some of

9:28

them some of them end up going way further

9:30

than your vision and the end of being like really

9:32

big songs have you ever heard that song you

9:35

for real we're

9:37

going ah

9:41

that's a Eurovision song you guys were showing

9:43

me when I was there for New Year's yeah

9:46

because I think it spurred

9:48

from

9:49

Sam Ryder doing the yeah he was

9:52

in it last year fucking

9:54

he was doing New Year's Rockin Eve oh

9:57

you guys rockin Eve and it

9:59

was basically

9:59

doing like a wedding set where

10:02

he was like in front of all these old people and he

10:04

was like come on let's go and he's so

10:07

infectious movement yeah he's so infectiously

10:11

happy but he was singing all their like wedding

10:13

songs

10:14

the golden oldies that only people

10:17

who are 50 years old like to hear do

10:19

you think if he cut off his hair if he

10:21

shaves his beard he's a different person anyone

10:24

who shaves their beard is a different person but I

10:26

think if he cut his hair yeah he's not

10:28

Sam right anymore he's like

10:30

Sammy boy his

10:33

Samuel are yeah

10:35

do you think what

10:38

he was growing up they were like get a real job hippie

10:41

probably he looks like he's been surfing

10:43

his entire life he looks like he should be in point break

10:47

he always has a smile on his face and I'm

10:49

like is that real are you always that

10:51

happy

10:52

probably but it seems impossible

10:55

I want to see Sam Ryder like being super

10:57

happy on stage singing and then it cuts to him

11:00

stepping into his dressing room he just looks at

11:02

himself in the mirror like why

11:04

are we doing this anymore kill me fucking

11:07

god damn it or it's

11:09

like sounds like let's go everybody

11:12

you're a vision and if somebody drops on behind me

11:14

like fuck fuck's

11:17

sake god you're such

11:19

a stupid fucking cunt

11:21

like he goes like full

11:23

Christian Bale and someone other like I was

11:26

looking at the light he's like oh good for you

11:28

oh good for you

11:30

oh that'd

11:34

be so fun I want Sam to swear yeah

11:37

do you think he's ever said let's

11:39

pull let's Sam swear yes get

11:42

it trending everybody that's him I wonder

11:45

if we could get Sam Ryder on the podcast

11:47

oh he'd be so happy though and I we'd have to talk

11:50

about shitting yourself I wonder

11:52

if Sam Ryder's ever shit himself

11:54

I'm saying I bet he shit himself

11:57

on stage

11:58

for sure how often do singer Do that because

12:00

they're like belting really hard like what if you had

12:02

like a fucking chicken korma

12:05

beforehand, and it's like I'm saying You see oh

12:07

man

12:08

that should be the next thing in

12:10

Eurovision for the final Everyone

12:13

before their final act has to

12:15

take laxatives and then

12:17

they have to do their act and the last one to shoot

12:20

themselves wins oh That's

12:22

a good one I want that or you have to do

12:24

your act as you're shitting yourself And

12:27

it's like who could perform under pressure

12:29

who can perform under pressure and they all

12:31

have to perform under pressure That

12:37

is a song Sam writer does that is true that

12:39

is true

12:40

Do you think that he made a deal

12:42

with the devil to be like I want you to give me the power

12:44

of Freddie Mercury But

12:47

the deal was he has to perform

12:49

and be happy for the rest of his life if

12:51

he stops being happy He can't sing anymore

12:53

I was gonna say I think Sam

12:55

writer might be the devil

12:57

like isn't that how you would win over people like long

12:59

hair beard Super smiley

13:02

great charisma, and then once everybody on

13:04

tick tock loves you you're like alright

13:06

execute order 66 He's

13:10

like has like key phrases in all

13:12

his songs That's kind of like it's gonna like trigger

13:15

people to all kick into action It's

13:17

the mentoring candidate thing

13:19

like everyone is close his

13:22

phrases Saturday Saturday

13:26

And then he stops because it's a certain amount of Saturdays

13:29

And he stops and he gets really close to the mic like

13:31

like corpse, and he's just like

13:33

Saturday Everyone

13:38

powers on it's like we all have knives in our

13:40

hands, and it's like I can't stop it

13:46

He's just up on stage

13:48

going ha ha I want

13:50

to break free He

13:54

was there for a brief stint at your vision

13:57

did he have like a special performance yeah

14:00

I can't remember what it was. I think it was near the end where

14:03

he had like an intermission song.

14:05

Did he- is he one of those people that

14:08

actually won or he didn't

14:10

actually win and he was just like a crowd favorite? So

14:13

he- he came second, which

14:15

is the highest UK have done in

14:17

like really really long times. They're usually at the bottom.

14:20

A couple of days ago they were second last down

14:23

with Germany.

14:24

Um, one year they came dead

14:26

last and I don't think they got any points. But

14:29

he- he came second and everyone was shocked.

14:31

But then Ukraine got the most

14:34

votes of any country ever.

14:35

And it sparked a big thing of people being like, well

14:38

if it wasn't Ukraine and stuff is happening in

14:40

Ukraine, they've gotten that many points. But

14:42

their song was really good. I like their song anyway.

14:45

It's also like, would Sam also have gotten

14:47

that many votes if he wasn't on TikTok a lot? It's like where

14:49

do we draw that line and start weeding

14:51

out stuff like that, so. He

14:53

came second, which is huge. Who

14:56

won this year? Who did you say? Sweden.

14:59

That lady who's saying, He

15:02

was just Felix going and singing

15:04

up on stage. He wishes. He

15:06

wouldn't be able to get out for a Eurovision. He

15:09

wishes. That's another thing. ABBA

15:11

are from Eurovision. They started

15:13

as a Eurovision group.

15:14

That's right. Let's do

15:16

a research. Hold

15:18

on. Popular

15:20

stars that spawned

15:24

from Eurovision. That

15:27

bond? What? 11

15:30

of the greatest and most famous singers from Eurovision?

15:32

Celine Dion? She

15:34

competed in 1988. Whenever

15:36

people speak French, it's like, what French speaking

15:39

country are you from? There's so many. It's not just

15:41

like, I speak French. I'm from French.

15:43

That's kind of cool. Yeah, Eurovision is

15:45

like a springboard for so many people. But I'm

15:48

going to go out on a limb here and I'm going to have a hot take

15:51

and say that if you won Eurovision one year,

15:53

you shouldn't be allowed to come back again.

15:55

Does that happen? You're allowed

15:57

to come back. That's what happened. The lady who just won.

16:00

Did it before with that euphoria song

16:02

and then she came back to get a cop out. Yeah,

16:05

boy I don't think that should be a lot Ireland also

16:08

did that with Johnny Logan back in the 90s

16:10

and only Ireland and Sweden are the only two

16:12

countries that have won twice with the

16:14

same act And I

16:16

think it's bullshit. I think if you

16:19

cuz Laureen's so good and Everyone

16:22

just wanted Finland to win cuz he was so awesome

16:25

and he had big green sleeves and no shirt on and

16:27

he was singing Cha cha cha He

16:29

was awesome. Yeah, I want Finland

16:32

to win. But when Laureen's in it is unfair

16:34

cuz she's too good

16:39

Whoa Ethan it's like you're in my room I

16:42

thought you were all the way in America But because you

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it looks like you're right next to me Isn't

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or America or vice versa wherever

17:06

you can go there and do it But you're also

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18:56

Who was The worst

18:59

this year not well one

19:01

who did get last place if you know But who

19:04

in your opinion was overhyped

19:06

and you're like this fucking sucks Um,

19:09

I think Germany came last They

19:12

had like a heavy metal song called blood

19:15

and glitter sweet and bitter

19:18

We're so happy we could

19:20

die isn't a Mannequin

19:25

or whatever the band is called aren't they from

19:27

Eurovision too? Yeah, they won Two

19:29

years ago. Where

19:30

are they from? Italy Italy,

19:33

which I don't know if their name means anything because it

19:35

looks Norwegian or Swedish and Then

19:38

I asked them I asked Felix what

19:41

it meant and he was like, I don't know and I asked

19:43

Marzia what it means She's like it's not Italian

19:46

It's a Danish word. That means moonlight.

19:49

Oh

19:50

Look it's not my fault. Everyone forgets about

19:53

Denmark

19:54

The band's basis is half Danish and

19:56

suggested the word for their band's name in 2016, huh? But

20:00

the act that I didn't like was

20:03

Carpe Diem. The

20:06

song is called Carpe Diem and the group

20:08

is called Joker Out. Joker

20:11

Out. Yeah, so I don't know if it's like,

20:14

yo, Joker Out mic drop.

20:17

And he walks off like,

20:19

yeah, it's just him being like, you wanna

20:22

know what I want? Eurovision.

20:27

Here's the deal. You're

20:30

gonna vote for me. And

20:33

I'm gonna win. What

20:36

do you want? Half.

20:39

He just goes up to the judge, are there judges? I

20:46

don't know how it works. Yeah,

20:48

how many points do you want? Yeah,

20:50

and he's just like, you wanna see a magic

20:53

trick? And he does the pencil thing and just slams there.

20:55

He just fucking kills Graham Norton on this

20:57

stage. Oh,

21:00

is Graham Norton a judge? It's

21:03

gone. I

21:06

didn't know he was a judge.

21:08

Well, he's not a judge, he was a presenter. He

21:10

did presenting with the

21:12

lady from Game of Thrones who goes, shame.

21:14

And like made Cersei walk naked through the streets. Does

21:17

he sing? Or is it

21:20

just, we're gonna have celebrities?

21:22

It's just celebrities. Plus he does like, he

21:24

does a narration every year. So if you watch it on BBC,

21:27

you hear him talk about your

21:29

vision. But this year he was on stage and he talked

21:31

backstage.

21:32

But he's so good, cause he makes fun of

21:34

everyone. It sounds very like Hunger

21:37

Games-esque. It

21:40

kind of is, except your weapon is your

21:43

music. So funny, if one

21:45

year they're just flipping on a tent and it's just like, every

21:48

country has to kill each other. Yeah,

21:50

it's like, we're gonna play all your songs at the same time,

21:53

whoever finishes first gets to run and get a weapon.

21:55

But every time Graham's talking about

21:58

the show, he kind of like makes-

21:59

fun of the acts or he's a bit uncouth.

22:02

So he's not, he's not like, I

22:04

don't know. And he's like, wow, that's a dress or

22:07

he just kind of like makes fun of shit that's happening on stage.

22:10

Good old Graham. But this year he was on stage

22:12

and he was doing, cause

22:14

he did the start and the end and then he

22:16

did his talking in the middle of it. So some other lady

22:19

took over when he had to be on stage. And

22:21

then at one point he was like, just

22:23

to warn everybody, there is a skit incoming

22:26

skit incoming. And then it took

22:28

to them talking on stage and it cut to Graham in his

22:30

booth and he had popcorn in his hand. He was

22:32

like, huh, like all shot

22:35

and he did something really cringe. And then it came back and he

22:37

was like, apologies for that.

22:42

He's just so much fun

22:44

to listen to. He doesn't give two fucks. I

22:47

love that. He seems like one

22:49

of the

22:50

like talk show kind of hosts that

22:53

is like genuinely really cool. And it would

22:55

be really fun to go on his show. I

22:57

want him on podcast.

23:00

Easy. I want to ask Graham Norton what

23:02

he would say if someone asked for wedding

23:04

advice and

23:07

he's like, just shit yourself. Perfect.

23:09

Oh, I bet Graham Norton shit himself and I bet

23:12

he would be willing to talk about it. That's

23:13

the thing. Everyone you look up to

23:16

has shit themselves. Everyone's like, man,

23:18

Taylor Swift mother is mothering guarantee

23:21

you she shit herself.

23:22

Yeah, she has sharted every

23:25

episode. We're going to talk about shitting your

23:27

pants and that's a

23:29

promise. Is that our thing as

23:32

the leakers? Yeah,

23:35

more like ass leak. We made that joke before.

23:37

Oh man, we got to make merch that is

23:39

just like I shit my pants. I'm

23:42

about to shit my pants. See

23:44

these pants. They've got shit

23:47

in them. What's a what's a Taylor Swift

23:49

song? I don't keep up with T sweaty often

23:51

enough. I don't either. But Jabus

23:55

Christ. I

23:58

hurt tour that is still

24:00

happening, I think? Yeah. Is

24:03

wild. Like, it's crazy going

24:06

on TikTok and seeing, like, random people streaming

24:09

the concert, and they have, like, 70,000 people watching

24:13

their TikTok live. She's

24:15

really taking over the world. Yeah, and

24:17

I don't know how it happened, because I remember Taylor Swift

24:19

being the country girl, and then, in

24:21

my mind, she went away for a while, and then suddenly she

24:23

was back as, like, the biggest person

24:26

on the planet, and I'm like,

24:27

what did I miss? Yeah, I

24:30

feel the same way. Like, I know that Taylor

24:32

Swift has been really big for a really long time, but I

24:34

feel like I thought that she kind of, like, died

24:36

out a little bit. I

24:38

thought she died. I thought she died.

24:41

Maybe this is the first time that she's toured in a really long time, and that's why

24:43

it's... I don't know.

24:45

I don't know.

24:46

I think that she re-recorded her music and, like, got her

24:49

rights back and stuff like that. Like,

24:51

she... This

24:53

is... All the people who are Taylor Swift fans

24:55

are, like, so ingrained in the lore that they know

24:57

it to a fucking... hair length,

25:00

and I'm like, I think she does music. I think she... Sometimes

25:04

she plays guitar, she goes, I'm

25:07

the problem, it's me. Uh,

25:09

I think, yeah, I

25:11

think she does the tunes. She gets

25:13

on stage, taps her toes. I... I

25:16

mean, it's the type of music that I, again, I just haven't

25:18

listened to. I don't know if I would like it or not,

25:20

but seeing how

25:22

involved all her fans are in what she does kind of

25:24

scares me. As someone who has fans

25:26

who get involved in what I'm doing

25:29

and sometimes go a little too far, I'm like, that's like

25:32

1%, if not less, of what Taylor Swift

25:34

has. And that's so scary. I

25:37

can't imagine

25:38

being Taylor Swift and not wanting to

25:41

stay in a room forever on my own.

25:44

I don't know how I would survive

25:47

being

25:47

that level of, like, celebrity

25:50

where you literally cannot go anywhere

25:52

without people constantly

25:55

recording you and, like, taking pictures and stuff like

25:57

that. I would feel so uncomfortable all the time.

25:59

I'm glad that doesn't happen people come

26:02

up and they're like are you jacksepticeye like yeah, oh cool

26:04

nice to meet you like Yeah,

26:07

because you imagine being like

26:08

Sean. What do you think about the current economic

26:10

climate? God

26:13

they probably have nightmares of just

26:16

the sound of that How

26:19

to trigger a celebrity is just rapid-fire

26:21

shutter click I do love

26:25

those videos from like Like

26:28

early 2010s, I think of paparazzi

26:30

in front of Kanye's house And it's

26:33

like five o'clock in the morning, and he's getting

26:35

this car Yeah, you guys is like good morning

26:37

Kanye. It's just like shut the fuck up

26:42

I

26:43

Don't feel bad for paparazzi

26:46

whenever a celebrity shits on them

26:48

when Toby mewer's like there are cars

26:50

there motherfucker I'm like yeah

26:54

Shit I'm

26:55

I don't feel

26:56

bad at all a lot of people are like it's

26:58

their job cool get it shouldn't

27:00

be a job Get a different

27:03

one. That's not super invasive Hate

27:05

it. It's already

27:07

Troublesome enough when people get

27:09

scrutinized online all the time for everything

27:11

to do and a celebrity says something

27:14

and then everyone's like Well, what does that mean? What

27:16

did you mean by that? Like

27:18

imagine Taylor Swift coming out and saying anything

27:20

and so many people who are just like,

27:22

huh? What

27:25

was that? Whoa? We say what

27:27

we love you, but we're prepared not to We

27:31

love you right now, but if you say

27:33

anything that we don't like we will turn on you immediately

27:36

Not only that but it must be scary

27:38

to go anywhere if everyone knows who you're I feel

27:41

weird in Restaurants sometimes when I see

27:43

people looking at me. I'm like did I know who I am? How

27:45

do I eat food?

27:51

That's enough or like I

27:54

get it sometimes where I Notice that

27:56

somebody has recognized me and then I I feel

27:59

like have I not been looking happy enough

28:02

yeah I need to make

28:05

sure that I look like I'm enjoying life yeah

28:07

that or Taylor Swift doesn't give a fuck and it's like I'm

28:09

just gonna do whatever the fuck I want because

28:12

nothing I do ever goes the way it's supposed

28:14

to no I mean at that point

28:16

you can't do right

28:19

man Taylor's okay

28:21

Taylor wants to come to the podcast yeah

28:24

come on Taylor absolutely

28:26

hundred percent doubt but on the off

28:29

chance that she's a leaker I

28:31

think that oh

28:34

man I might catch a flag for this I

28:36

think that when a while

28:39

back

28:40

Justin Bieber was like

28:43

racing cars and like just

28:45

being a shithead not I'm

28:48

not defending his

28:50

actions but

28:51

when you have that amount of fame

28:53

and that amount of people like saying

28:55

yes to you all the time I feel

28:58

like you're bound to be kind

29:00

of a jackass and like at that

29:02

point it's like you could do a lot worse

29:04

than just driving your car fast I

29:06

don't know I feel

29:08

kind of bad for

29:10

people sometimes where it's just like yeah their life

29:12

is really weird and everyone

29:14

is constantly looking at them and yeah

29:17

I don't I don't know JB too

29:19

well because he's probably done way

29:21

worse stuff that I'm just yeah he hasn't texted

29:24

me back in a while he's probably doing

29:26

way worse stuff that I don't know

29:28

about because I actually have nothing about him all

29:30

I know is that he spit off a balcony

29:33

onto fans once I think

29:35

that might not have been him

29:37

but I think Britney Spears

29:39

is like the good example well

29:41

not good that's a bad word for it but when she

29:45

like shaved her head and start stabbing a car

29:47

with an umbrella and stuff like that back in the day I'm

29:49

like now it now I get it

29:51

I get how you get to that

29:53

point

29:55

it's I feel like at some point I would

29:57

rather just stay inside and do nothing But

30:00

I feel like if your

30:02

whole life is being scrutinized like that, I understand

30:04

how you can be pushed to your limits. I

30:08

feel extremely, extremely, extremely lucky

30:10

to be able to live the life that I live and

30:12

I love what I do. But

30:15

I do think about this sometimes where I'm like, I'm

30:17

really excited for the

30:20

day that I can log off of the internet forever

30:23

and just kind of hang up my coat and

30:25

be like, I'm done and be

30:27

a

30:28

bit more of a normal person. Because

30:31

I think that being, I

30:33

think that like being a person

30:35

that makes shit online, you're

30:36

kind of inherently chronically online because

30:39

your brain is always

30:40

just there because it's what you do for a living.

30:43

And I can't wait to

30:45

not do that anymore at

30:47

some point. Hang

30:49

up your XLR cable. Be like, damn, I'm done. There

30:52

it goes. It was, it was nice. Hang

30:57

up that play button.

30:59

Hang up my headphones and my cape.

31:02

Yeah. Hang

31:05

up my soapbox that I love to stand on

31:07

and talk down to people.

31:09

Tie up my high

31:11

horse, let him loose. Let

31:14

him out into the wild. You're

31:16

free now.

31:17

You can go. Yeah. It's

31:19

time for, it's time for somebody else to get up on that high horse.

31:22

It's time

31:24

for someone else's opinions to not matter.

31:31

Man, Sean, I'm just sick

31:33

of speaking one language

31:35

and one language alone. I wish that I could

31:37

just communicate with other people around

31:39

the world. Oh my God. Shut

31:42

up already and go to babble.com. You

31:45

stupid idiot. There

31:50

is an easy solution and

31:52

it only takes 15 minutes a

31:54

day.

31:55

15 minute lessons a day for you

31:58

to not speak nonsense in my ears. all

32:00

the time. Why don't you speak another language

32:02

and make yourself interesting? Oh

32:04

man, you know Babbel has expertly

32:07

crafted lessons built around

32:10

real life You're not just learning

32:12

how to do the ABCs and learning

32:15

the correct way to say stuff

32:17

You're learning how to speak the language

32:19

how it is actually spoken Yeah,

32:22

you're not learning you're not learning stuff like oh Apple

32:26

Orange you're learning stuff like where

32:28

can I go to get the next issue of fucking

32:31

brain leak brah? Oh

32:33

My god

32:35

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32:37

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32:39

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32:42

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32:47

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32:50

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33:03

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33:07

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33:10

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33:12

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33:14

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33:16

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33:26

where was it

33:27

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34:08

Primer paso How

34:10

did you know that John? I went to

34:12

babbel.com brain

34:15

babbel.com slash

34:17

brain language for

34:19

life I

34:22

Think gamers should

34:24

be haunted The most dangerous

34:27

game That's

34:33

the final mr. Beast video he

34:35

rounds up every streamer every

34:37

youtuber everyone ever and It's

34:40

just like run Last

34:45

one to catch a straight bullet wins Yeah,

34:49

I feel like we're closer to that than we're

34:51

not Yeah, we absolutely

34:53

are He's

34:55

curing blindness tomorrow.

34:58

He's caught I

35:03

blinded 10,000 kids so I could

35:05

cure a thousand of them. Oh Man,

35:09

what are we gonna do to better society force

35:11

Twitter to close? Man,

35:14

how much better with all of this job

35:16

be and all of everything be if there

35:18

was no Twitter

35:20

God I back when

35:23

Elon started freaking making

35:25

his changes At first

35:27

and people were like, I think Twitter's done. I

35:30

got really excited. I was like, please

35:32

please Please for

35:35

the love of God Which I

35:37

have the power to remove myself I

35:40

was gonna say it's like hovering over the delete

35:42

button being like I know what I must do But

35:44

I don't think I have the strength to do it

35:46

It's completely true

35:49

I could just delete Twitter. Oh Man,

35:52

yes, it would be better for

35:54

my mental health. It would be better for

35:56

everybody if we all deactivated But

35:59

that health How else would you keep up with the

36:02

aesthetic things Twitter account?

36:06

We should all make a pact You

36:08

know careful is our influence use

36:10

our influence for good I Am

36:15

going to swear to delete my

36:17

Twitter by x-date who's

36:20

with me? And that's how you really

36:22

see who the real fans are. It's like Let's

36:25

all jump off this cliff together guys. I'll go

36:27

first who's with me Another

36:29

way down you're like falling back was like

36:34

Come on you said

36:36

slap What

36:39

an idiot retweet? That

36:42

would be so fun though. Everybody deactivates

36:44

a Twitter at the same time. We all We

36:47

all listen to taps play

36:49

as we do it, you know

36:51

Baa baa baa Baa

36:53

baa baa Baa baa baa I'd

36:57

be so good. Yeah, maybe someday

37:00

you just put your phone on like a teeny tiny

37:02

boat and push it out into the water There

37:05

we go, it's new fire like a flaming arrow Viking

37:12

That's such a funny idea. Oh

37:15

at some point if we're ever serious about Deleting

37:18

our Twitters we should do

37:20

it for a podcast video

37:22

or like a brain leak video where we host

37:25

a Viking burial for our Twitter That's

37:27

so funny. I love that idea Print

37:34

out our tweets and bury them in the backyard

37:36

I'm

37:43

sorry boy

37:46

That's a really funny

37:49

video idea is just like announcing

37:51

that you're gonna delete your Twitter and then it's just

37:53

a hundred different ways that I executed

37:57

I feel like your phone

37:59

Hanging from the gallows. Yeah,

38:02

you just like guillotine the top half of it.

38:04

I Keep

38:06

thinking that if I ever quit YouTube or

38:09

quit Twitter or any sort of like online

38:12

thing I want to go out like narratively I

38:14

don't want to just like delete it and then people wake up and

38:16

suddenly like oh, where's the account gone? I

38:18

want to like build it out for like a month

38:21

long narrative where we like Devolve

38:23

into madness and then at the end

38:26

of it it disappears

38:27

Like my YouTube channel. I was like

38:29

At one point I was like if I ever deleted my channel.

38:32

I would like go out and die in Like

38:35

a skit and I think that's where the anti

38:37

thing came from because I was like Imagine

38:40

like building it up for a month, and then you die on camera

38:42

at the end like Acting,

38:45

but

38:46

then it's just gone. I had

38:48

that conversation the other day

38:50

Where like if I mean

38:53

when because eventually I'm not gonna

38:55

do this anymore at some point and so

38:57

it's like I want to kind of like go out

38:59

on my own terms and like have

39:02

a Final video

39:04

because that was like the nice thing about when it's honest was

39:07

being

39:08

In control of that and being like no this this

39:10

is ending Yeah, instead of

39:12

just like kind of like fading into obscurity

39:14

and just like once I'm done I

39:16

want to have a like boom.

39:19

I'm down go out on my own my

39:21

own times And then you just write

39:23

that podcast Yeah

39:27

Is so beautiful you buy a horse

39:30

named podcast, and you just get up and I mean

39:32

you look around and your your YouTube channels in

39:34

the background be like

39:36

See you later buckaroo so long Go

39:43

on get go on get out just

39:46

Arthur Morgan hey girl Have

39:54

you heard his other versions of those that got

39:57

declined

39:58

the like really horny ones yeah

40:00

yeah that's my girl

40:02

whoa Roger ride

40:09

him cowboy wow

40:11

you're my girl and

40:14

you have to like wing

40:16

you have to like wink at the

40:18

camera as you do it like there

40:21

there girl it's

40:26

like someone's digging holes in your throat

40:31

that gives me the egg

40:33

what gives you the egg huh oh

40:38

that's a good question oh you know what gives me

40:40

the egg is when people open mouth

40:42

kiss their dogs like not

40:45

just like oh you're so cute like like

40:47

kiss on the head or something like I do that but

40:49

it's when people go like

40:50

and it's like the dogs just licking their lips and teeth

40:53

over and over and over again that fucks

40:56

me up and people like no dogs

40:58

mouths are cleaner than human mouths I'm like I don't

41:00

think they are I think yeah

41:04

I have a hard time agreeing with that

41:07

like my dog

41:09

back home eats his own shit so

41:11

I'm pretty sure that's not true yes

41:14

like if I ate shit and the dog ate shit why

41:16

would his mouth be cleaner he ate

41:19

shit I didn't whose mouth is cleaner

41:21

what a what a provoking thought experiment

41:26

if I eat shit

41:27

and my dog shit whose

41:30

mouth is cleaner it's

41:32

like that if you get shit in your arm

41:34

what are you gonna do toilet paper or water it's like

41:37

if my dog eats his own shit what are

41:39

you gonna do come on think about

41:42

it think about it first

41:44

come on people why aren't we talking

41:46

about this

41:48

have you seen those videos of

41:50

like people letting their rats

41:52

like clean their teeth eww

41:55

it's really gross it's really really

41:57

really gross they'll just like open their mouth

42:00

And then the rat will just like go any night Yeah,

42:04

floss exists exist

42:07

Yeah, just brush your teeth stop putting

42:09

your rats inside your yeah It's

42:12

like sure They pulled

42:14

out like a lump of food the floss would have gotten but

42:16

they've also been walking in their own shit and piss

42:18

all Day

42:19

don't rats piss everywhere Yeah,

42:22

and they poop and they pee and they do

42:24

all sorts of stuff What animal is it that

42:26

I saw that has like a yellow belly and everyone's

42:28

like oh look at his little yellow belly and people were like

42:31

it was like a Sugar

42:33

glider or one of those types of creatures and

42:35

people are like yeah cuz they roll around in their own piss

42:38

They actually piss everywhere and roll in it

42:40

man. I wish that were me.

42:42

I wish I could piss everywhere Just

42:45

rolling around uh what

42:47

what gives you the ick? What

42:51

gets that icky sticky going so

42:54

many things Is

42:57

it when I jerk you off and don't say your name

42:59

during?

43:00

Yeah, that gives me the ick

43:02

a little bit When

43:04

you don't make enough eye contact that

43:07

I

43:07

don't know it just like Just

43:10

like you're alright boy What

43:13

happened to what we were? Yeah,

43:19

oh how fast the night changes Does

43:23

it ever drive you crazy just how

43:25

fast night changes

43:27

I don't like it

43:29

like I am a surgeon

43:32

I That

43:36

show

43:37

what has been going on with that everyone's

43:39

sharing clips from that show I've never seen

43:42

it

43:43

The whole gimmick of the show is that he's autistic

43:45

and he's a doctor But it's like terrible

43:48

autism representation because it's just him like freaking

43:50

out all the time And I've seen

43:53

clips of like where he's just standing there

43:55

and like everything's like flowing through his

43:57

brain and like yeah He goes checkbook

43:59

stuff

43:59

He goes like Sherlock mind palace every

44:02

now and then which yeah,

44:03

I found out recently that apparently Sherlock

44:06

Holmes is supposed to be autistic as well And I never knew

44:08

that but like

44:10

it's a lot of that stuff is like yes terrible autism

44:13

representation But then it went a step further where it was like

44:15

terrible trans representation Because

44:17

some kid in it is like I'm

44:19

a girl He's like no they were born a boy So

44:21

they're a boy and it's like the autistic guy can't

44:23

understand a trans person It's like guys

44:26

all of this is just bad. It's

44:29

just really really bad He's like do you

44:31

always paint your nails? Do you wear dresses?

44:33

It's like

44:34

Are we into 90s again? What's happening a

44:37

current show? That's airing or is it from

44:39

a while back it looks more current

44:41

because Daniel day Kim and it is Older

44:44

and looks like his current self

44:45

It is 2017 to present. Oh That

44:50

is way too recent to have that kind

44:52

of representation and the the

44:55

guy who plays the good doctor That's

44:57

named Freddie high more something high more

45:00

He's he's a really good actor. It's

45:03

a shame. He's Charlie in the Chocolate Factory Charlie the

45:05

Johnny. Oh He

45:08

is Charlie in the Chocolate Factory Charlie, please

45:10

can I have a chocolate bar? you

45:13

know I Think

45:16

that the rest of Charlie's grandparents must

45:18

have been pretty fucking upset when

45:20

he when Uncle Joe or whatever

45:23

the

45:23

fuck his name is he just gets up out of bed

45:25

and they're like You've been faking

45:27

it this whole time. None of them get out

45:29

of bed What

45:30

are you doing power of capitalism

45:33

and chocolate? I

45:38

Still want to get to your ick. I'm not moving on

45:40

from this my ick is when

45:42

old people pretend to be bedridden And

45:44

they're actually not Give

45:46

you the ick that just grinds your ears my

45:50

what makes you go like God, I don't

45:53

like it when people are

45:55

Purposely mean for a joke

45:58

even though it like might be a joke It

46:00

makes me sad or when

46:02

people I make fun of you all the

46:04

time. Yeah, but it's not the same

46:08

It's not the same You

46:10

make fun of me to hurt my feelings. I

46:12

make fun of you to make myself feel

46:14

good. We are not the same something

46:17

that people do is like

46:21

Is like if somebody is talking and then somebody's just

46:23

like ah shut up shut up shut up

46:25

To make them stop talking it makes me

46:27

really uncomfortable and it makes me feel bad Yeah,

46:30

people not being able to like read the room

46:32

in

46:33

Like a sort of vindictive like when

46:35

people have to monopolize the conversation

46:38

for themselves When

46:40

the egos take over oh

46:42

man, shut up shut up shut up auntie.

46:45

No Shut

46:48

up shut up I Think auntie

46:51

really gives me the ick you know me too.

46:53

He sure that's like poop again He

46:57

shouldn't not give you the ick

46:59

why you don't have shoes on you stepping in blood

47:02

Why you why you kill those guys? Oh

47:04

come on. I t be a bro

47:06

Eddie come on his body's

47:08

not that weak. He's been lifting. Okay,

47:10

strong Look,

47:13

he's here. Just cuz he weak emotionally

47:15

and physically don't mean he don't have

47:17

some strength Everyone's

47:20

talking to inside it. This is where people

47:22

get their ego. Lore is talking like

47:24

this on the podcast Like

47:27

uh Chase Brody, what was that all about? Why

47:30

was he there? Why was he

47:32

there? Why do you teleport? What happened

47:35

with that? Oh, look once I could hear

47:37

one place and then it's like a place. Oh Me

47:40

not a chest buddy. What happened to your

47:43

to your Toyota Prius was it left in the middle

47:45

of the woods? When you got

47:47

evicted did that hurt?

47:49

Just buddy. Do you have a bunch of parking tickets

47:51

cuz you fucking a Toyota Prius

47:53

is left it over there. Yeah

47:56

Yeah,

48:01

so anyway Oh

48:04

Ethan I'm so upset. Why

48:07

are you upset Sean? Oh because

48:09

I want to go see Taylor Swift in concert

48:11

But the seats always sell out and they're always

48:13

bad. Have you

48:15

been using other ticketing

48:17

websites? Oh Other

48:19

than one what other options

48:22

are there man?

48:23

You only got one good

48:25

option Seat geek

48:28

not only are they going

48:30

to give you the

48:31

best prices on seats

48:35

But they're gonna give you some damn

48:37

good seats and they make it so

48:40

easy They have

48:41

over 28 million downloads

48:44

and it is the number one rated ticketing

48:46

app You can trust the people

48:49

they've been

48:49

ranting and raving about seat geek and

48:52

here it tells me that there's more than 70,000 events

48:55

every single day on seat geek and doing concerts

48:57

sports festivals and They

49:03

make buying tickets easy

49:05

and intuitive You don't want to scroll through a

49:07

bunch of things that all look the same you're like,

49:10

well, is this a good seat? Is this not a good

49:12

I hate just look for the just look

49:14

for the green dots on the app All right,

49:16

look for the green dots green means

49:18

good red means bad. It means you're getting

49:20

a good price You're getting a good seat. You're gonna

49:22

have a good time You know what I love about

49:25

it is that all of their ticket is each ticket

49:27

is rated on a scale

49:28

of 1 to 10 So, you know if

49:30

it's good or not Every ticket is backed

49:33

by their buyer guarantee as well See

49:35

because the only site that lets you return your tickets if

49:38

the event ahead of the event with swaps Listen

49:43

Sean if you want to go see tea swizzy

49:45

or anybody else or he swities

49:48

if you're traveling back in time

49:51

to Last year when my show is

49:53

happening or 2017 18 when you when

49:55

your show is happening What about Beyonce? Beyonce

49:58

is probably going out there. Yeah

49:59

Kendra Lamar it sure Drake is

50:02

torn. Yeah, Tyler the Creator Whoever's

50:05

touring tenacious D if there's

50:07

a show happening Led Zeppelin. I Don't

50:10

think so Listen

50:14

you go and use my code brain.

50:17

That's B R A N for $20

50:20

off tickets at sea geek Dollars

50:23

off your first purchase with a couple code

50:26

brain use code brain at sea

50:28

geek on the app Yes, just

50:30

go in the description

50:31

Thank you,

50:33

Ethan, I'm gonna be happy now. Yeah,

50:37

go and live out your

50:38

tea swizzy dreams

50:39

I'm a swifty for life. I'm gonna go

50:41

see her now

50:45

Basically what I think is that Eurovision

50:48

is lit it is I'm

50:50

excited for I forgot it was happening now I'm

50:54

excited for next year when we can start

50:56

making predictions for Eurovision on a

50:58

podcast episode. Oh Man,

51:00

and we can represent the country of YouTube.

51:03

Yeah What would our song

51:05

be about

51:06

I try and pace once? It

51:11

would be that or Song

51:13

about shitting yourself you me and Aaron go

51:15

up on stage and just like sucking

51:18

on dicks and shit in the calm

51:23

Coming in my ass and shitting it out.

51:26

Wait you you speaking of Aaron

51:28

Hansen and dicks You

51:31

were on the game grumps

51:34

show

51:35

I was the tournament of gamers

51:37

in Dublin I was in London

51:40

and then I went fucking over to Dublin boys Oh,

51:42

I did saw a bunch of the lads

51:44

over there was Conor McGregor there. No,

51:47

thank God Conor McGregor huge game

51:49

grumps fan Oh, you know you can when he says not

51:51

so grump. I like you when he comes in and

51:53

he's like fuck is not so

51:58

That's

52:01

funny. No, that was really fun. I

52:04

forgot what it was like to be on tour and be on a tour bus. I

52:06

did the tour bus for one night.

52:08

Which bunk did you have? Bottom. I

52:11

like the bottom. When I'm on top, I feel like I'm swaying

52:13

too much. I feel like I'm on a boat. See, I like the middle.

52:17

You mid. Yeah,

52:20

you know, I just can't have any

52:23

opinion. I'm right in the middle and I'm

52:24

always like, guys, can we just stop fighting?

52:26

Can't we all just get along and kiss

52:29

one another's faces? Can

52:31

we all just kiss a little bit? KYS,

52:34

more like kiss yourself.

52:35

Just try it. Kiss

52:39

yourself in the mirror once and say, well,

52:42

you're beautiful. I love you. You're

52:46

beautiful. I love you. I

52:49

just these days are so long. Just

52:52

like a real deep conversation with yourself.

52:55

But yeah, we did for the show because their

52:57

show is like planned out really

52:59

properly now.

53:00

So there's very little like wiggle room for a third

53:02

person to come into the act. So I came

53:04

up with the idea. I was like, why don't you just I

53:07

was like people are coming to see me. So

53:09

why don't we have fun with it and just have me sitting

53:11

on the edge of the stage and not be part of the

53:13

act and just be sitting there for the whole

53:15

thing like a zoo animal and people could just be like,

53:17

there he is. They

53:20

should just like put you in like a plexiglass

53:22

enclosure. So

53:24

they bring people up on stage and interview them or

53:26

like intro them like what's your name? Do

53:29

you like ice cream like make up your

53:30

own questions? But I so I

53:32

did that and then in between

53:34

that I would sit down and read a

53:37

book called Barehead that someone gifted

53:39

them and I don't know what bare head was about.

53:41

So in between while they were playing the games I would just sit

53:43

there and pretend to read bare head. And

53:46

then they'd be like Sean, can you go get more people? I'm like, oh

53:49

fuck. Okay fine. I'm

53:51

at a really important part in the

53:52

book. They found the head of the bear. Yeah, I

53:55

don't know if it's a guy wearing a head of a bear

53:57

or the bear giving head. It's

54:01

like, which is it? I

54:03

need to get to the point where the head is like,

54:06

what is the head doing? Who's getting

54:08

the head? Is it a man wearing a bear?

54:10

Is it furry porn? Is he wearing

54:13

a bear head? Giving head? We don't find

54:15

out until the last chapter and I can only read

54:17

this during the show So I really need to utilize my time

54:19

properly. Yeah, I really tried to

54:21

actually read it as we were going But

54:24

I don't think it's a book that I would normally read so I was

54:26

like glossing over words Every now

54:28

and then it was like that fucking bitch and

54:30

I was like, whoa, what's happening?

54:33

What's happening I can't

54:35

read Wow, it

54:38

was very fun. I had a great time. Good

54:40

lads. They're Still

54:42

on tour. Yeah, I think they're doing Germany

54:45

as of this recording Where in

54:47

the world is grump and not so grump? He's

54:50

just a little bus with two little heads. Do

54:52

they have like cool armor and

54:54

stuff? They have like outfits they come out

54:56

on

54:57

horses. No, they don't

54:59

even joust I was expecting

55:01

to be at like medieval times when I was at the show

55:04

Turns out I was just at a grump

55:06

show. I was just at modern times

55:10

Modern times when they look

55:12

back, you know when we're like medieval times the dark

55:14

ages like in

55:16

a thousand years They look back. What's what's this

55:18

era gonna be called the shithole

55:20

era? They chronically online

55:23

time. That's true.

55:25

I'm waiting for that day when

55:27

it's coming I keep talking to Tommy about

55:29

it where I'm like, he's like, what do you think is gonna happen?

55:31

I like because he's like you've been on YouTube 10 years What

55:33

do you think is next and I'm like everything started off very

55:36

commercial in the beginning It was like youtubers trying to become

55:38

actors and then that kind

55:40

of went away and then my generation and

55:42

our generation Sort of like came in and it was

55:44

like it was more about honesty and like being in your

55:46

bedroom and just being open with people And

55:48

not trying to like go beyond your means and

55:51

now it's kind of like back at that phase where it's like it's very

55:53

commercialized Again, it's very reality TV.

55:55

I'm

55:56

like, I think we're just gonna swing back to

55:58

like really honest stuff because people get so bored

56:00

of seeing how many times can you stand

56:02

in a circle and win money and realize

56:05

that it's just reality TV on YouTube

56:07

instead of like we're getting into like fear

56:09

factor levels of

56:11

content creation and it's not new it's just

56:13

it's just bigger and

56:16

it's more open but it's the same

56:18

thing as like 90s TV everything

56:20

on YouTube feels really unobtainable

56:23

like I can't imagine starting

56:25

out on YouTube now where it's like I

56:27

don't have a million dollars to put

56:29

into a video small loan how the

56:31

fuck do yeah small million dollar loan

56:34

for my father yeah everyone needs everyone has like

56:36

editors when they start off well not everyone but

56:38

most of the people I see have like editors and like a plan

56:40

like I didn't have a plan yeah

56:43

just ditch it it's like some well the thing

56:45

is going back and watching our first videos now

56:47

not to say we're better or anything or this style

56:50

of you tripping is better no but we are yeah

56:52

this is our podcast I can see what I want

56:55

but when you go back and watch our first videos

56:57

now it's like oh man what a journey

57:00

what a change but I feel like some people that are

57:02

starting now have it kind of figured out where production

57:04

values are so high it's like when you go back

57:06

and watch first videos it's like didn't change that

57:08

much or you haven't been doing as many

57:10

of them because it's like a video a month kind of vibe

57:13

I don't know I'm just an old man yelling at clouds

57:17

man my clothes are shitty I

57:19

wish I could get better ones man

57:22

wouldn't it be crazy if you were the CEO of the company

57:24

that we're currently doing an ad read for that would be

57:26

ridiculous that would be

57:28

so crazy if there were new colorways

57:31

made with cloak it's cloaked

57:33

by the way we're talking about cloak who

57:36

would even put a sponsor segment in their own podcast

57:38

from their own company on their own podcast

57:41

only a very smart

57:42

intellectual yeah listen

57:45

I've got these stinky ass clothes

57:47

and I need I want some cutting-edge

57:50

designs and fired by tech

57:54

made specifically for summer weather conditions

57:57

which feature advanced materials and strong construction

58:00

methods that keep me cool

58:02

and comfortable. Well, have I got news for

58:04

you, cause following on from my tactical

58:06

line that comprised of sleek,

58:09

minimal clothing that I designed myself, we've

58:11

got unique Brain Leak Colorways

58:13

made special for this partnership on

58:15

the way. It's a fan favorite tactical

58:18

collection, soft line forms are back in

58:20

new cool colorways. Where

58:22

can I find those? Oh

58:25

man, if you go to cloakbrand.com slash

58:27

brain leak, you could get

58:29

them there. Use a special code

58:31

though. Would the special code

58:33

get me 10% off and is this special

58:36

code Jack shit his pants? Unfortunately,

58:39

yes. It's a little joke that

58:41

people like to make on my expense because

58:43

I'm so powerful at this company.

58:46

Oh my god, that is so funny.

58:48

I can't wait to check out those new colorways.

58:51

Go to cloakbrand.com slash brain

58:53

leak and use the code Jack shit his pants.

58:56

Jack shit his pants, no spaces. No

58:59

spaces. For 10% off. Mm.

59:03

Well, would you like to give some

59:05

advice to the clouds? Yes! Some bad

59:07

advice? I want to give terrible advice to

59:09

people. Roll

59:10

the theme song! Ethan

59:13

and Sean, give bad advice. Bad

59:15

advice for Ethan and Sean. Eugh!

59:18

I have one. He's got one. This

59:21

one is from Alex Spiegel and

59:23

they say, Now that my parents are dead, what

59:26

should I do with their ashes? I've heard

59:28

that dumping them on Disney rides is a popular

59:30

option. Thanks. Just dumping

59:33

your car. Mad!

59:36

You dump the hatches and it falls onto

59:38

a fucking two year old kid. Yeah,

59:40

and you're just like streaming smoke

59:42

being like, that's my dad! That's

59:44

my dad! You

59:48

gotta go on like Splash Mountain or something though,

59:50

where you get like return on your

59:52

investment.

59:53

So you like splash him everywhere. Yeah, it's

59:56

all about ROI. Yeah, like if

59:58

you're on the Matterhorn. It's like yeah, you spread

1:00:01

it around, but then they're gonna vacuum up the slide and whatever

1:00:03

But if it's in the water, what are they gonna

1:00:06

do?

1:00:06

You're in the earth Space Mountain

1:00:08

will be kind of cool. Space Mountain?

1:00:10

Is that the one in the dark? Space Mountain's in the dark

1:00:13

I said Splash Mountain. Yeah But Space

1:00:15

Mountain would be kind of cool because you go you go

1:00:17

and you throw the asses then people behind them It's

1:00:19

they're like, oh, it's Space Dust Little

1:00:22

do they know? Well,

1:00:24

it's so ashy that it's mummy

1:00:26

and puppy. It's like all moon dust And

1:00:30

no one's ever gonna clean that up because they can't

1:00:32

see it because it's in the dark

1:00:35

That's

1:00:35

true. In the dark. I feel like you already

1:00:37

gave yourself great advice on this one But

1:00:40

I think going off of what you said about ROI

1:00:42

because at the end of the day at all It's about ROI

1:00:44

return on investment. Yeah, you should capitalize

1:00:48

Capitalism on your parents death. Yes,

1:00:51

I think that You

1:00:53

know, this is gonna take some time, but

1:00:55

you know your parents I'm assuming are Relatively

1:00:59

important to you in your life. And so I think that

1:01:01

you should do What you can

1:01:03

to please them the most so how

1:01:06

many grains of mama

1:01:08

and papa are in the

1:01:10

ashes?

1:01:10

Probably thousands right

1:01:13

so you could take each little

1:01:16

thing of ash and put it in so

1:01:18

many places That's true.

1:01:20

Then they're represented all

1:01:23

over the world. That's a good one I'm

1:01:25

trying to think of where you could like you

1:01:27

could just start putting them in milk and handing them

1:01:29

out to kids as milkshakes Say like

1:01:31

ooh chucky milk And

1:01:33

then your your parents are like traveling

1:01:35

the world like a dandelion in the breeze That's

1:01:39

kind of nice isn't it? Oh, where's the most fucked

1:01:41

up place you could dump them

1:01:43

Because I'm like my brains go to like little things

1:01:46

like someone's out mowing their lawn You just throw

1:01:48

it right out in front of them and see just go like

1:01:51

Go everywhere, but that's so boring

1:01:53

no one gets to see that skydiving

1:01:57

I I have an idea because of the

1:02:00

I think it's LeBron that does it

1:02:02

he takes like baby powder and he throws it in the air

1:02:05

you replace his baby powder with your parents

1:02:07

asses ashes

1:02:08

A-A-A-Ashes Well it

1:02:10

is kind of a little bit of their asses isn't it? Yeah

1:02:14

And it's not like a pet where you're like

1:02:16

Burned alive with so many other pets.

1:02:19

It's like no You

1:02:22

get a little bit of somebody else in there, maybe

1:02:24

I mean bits of them are probably still

1:02:27

in the fire and in the furnace Do

1:02:29

the fire and flames they always

1:02:31

if they I've got it you

1:02:34

make a drum kit out of them you

1:02:37

get in touch with a company

1:02:39

like sonar or Pearl

1:02:41

or Tama or Ludwig or any of

1:02:44

those companies that make drum kits and then you're

1:02:46

like my parents means so much

1:02:48

to me You know how people like put their blood in

1:02:50

ink and like write autographs or something like

1:02:52

that. That's

1:02:53

Bullshit that's stupid.

1:02:56

What you want to do is get your parents

1:02:59

Ashes mixed up in some like fucking resin

1:03:02

and get like a clear drum kit made out of it And

1:03:05

then right like to mom-and-pop on the

1:03:07

side of it or like get their faces in the ashes

1:03:09

on the side of it like stretched out like Like

1:03:12

they're going through the river sticks

1:03:15

Man, that would be so cool is if

1:03:17

you had Hmm

1:03:19

so you have to do a little bit of pre-planning on this

1:03:22

one but if you can get a mold

1:03:24

of their face or better yet a

1:03:26

cast of their entire body Then

1:03:29

you can just have the ashes

1:03:32

be made into that mold of their

1:03:34

face and or the cast of their body So

1:03:36

then you can basically just recreate

1:03:38

them Wow

1:03:39

or oh Here

1:03:42

we go ask them what their ideal

1:03:45

version of themselves are so

1:03:47

if your dad is like I wish my balls hung a little

1:03:49

bit lower then you can alter

1:03:51

that and make Make them

1:03:54

into the the ideal version of themselves

1:03:56

that they wanted to be you know Give

1:03:58

your dad a six-pack Okay, what I

1:04:01

want to do is get into the entertainment

1:04:03

industry, specifically

1:04:05

live shows. And then you

1:04:08

end up on like the world's biggest stage. Let's

1:04:10

just bring T-Switty back because we've been talking

1:04:12

about Taylor in this episode. You work

1:04:15

as merch on her tour

1:04:18

and you rig a t-shirt cannon

1:04:21

that has your parents ashes in it.

1:04:24

So when Taylor comes out

1:04:25

and you think, oh, I hope

1:04:27

I grabbed the t-shirt. I don't think Taylor Swift

1:04:30

has a t-shirt cannon on stage,

1:04:32

but that's where you convince her. And

1:04:34

then instead of a t-shirt coming out, it's just, and

1:04:38

it's just nothing but ashes all

1:04:40

over like 70,000 of them.

1:04:43

Everywhere. It gets into fucking air conditioning.

1:04:45

It's all over everybody. People are breathing

1:04:48

your parents. You can do

1:04:50

the t-shirt cannon or you can replace all

1:04:52

of the confetti that they drop from the ceiling with

1:04:54

your parents ashes. That's a good

1:04:56

one too. And it's like raining your parents. Or

1:04:59

like crop dusting. Anything

1:05:01

that's just like, well crop dusting, it

1:05:03

just gets some crops. That's

1:05:04

boring. Oh, but it's feeding

1:05:07

the planet. It's still feeding the planet

1:05:09

if you put it in children's faces. They're

1:05:13

gonna pass it eventually. What

1:05:15

if you replace the smoke that

1:05:17

they put in planes to write messages of

1:05:19

like, I love you Karen. Like you

1:05:22

replace that with your parents ashes. First of

1:05:24

all, first of all, no one's writing, I love

1:05:26

you Karen in the fucking clouds.

1:05:29

Have you ever seen I love you Karen?

1:05:32

Never. It hasn't happened. And

1:05:34

you know, I understand. Oh

1:05:37

man, I feel bad for any any child

1:05:39

that has the name Karen. That's a bummer.

1:05:42

You're going by your middle name at that point.

1:05:44

There's no way. Do you know how they say like

1:05:46

the journey of the of poop when

1:05:49

it's like it gets through your system. What

1:05:51

is that? It's always coming back to shit. Are

1:05:55

you talking about digestion? No,

1:05:57

what's that like children's book that's like

1:06:00

everybody poops

1:06:02

yeah it's like the journey of a thousand

1:06:04

poops or whatever and it's like that's

1:06:06

it if you spray in people's faces they

1:06:08

ingested it in their poop it goes through the sewer

1:06:10

it's traveling the world baby it's

1:06:12

all over well

1:06:15

I think we've answered Alex's question quite

1:06:17

well yeah all right we've

1:06:19

got one from Callum which is loosely related

1:06:22

to the last one hello

1:06:25

fellow gentlemen I haven't seen my dad

1:06:27

in years he never told me where he was where

1:06:29

he went to go and I'm wondering how I would be

1:06:31

able to find him and what would be the best

1:06:33

thing to say to him after 15-16

1:06:35

years of no contact hmm

1:06:40

so how do you find someone

1:06:42

easily well here's

1:06:45

the thing about fathers right

1:06:48

they all love games

1:06:50

they all love hunting whether

1:06:52

it be for turkey or for treasure so

1:06:55

somewhere in your house

1:06:58

there's got to be a map that he left somewhere

1:07:00

in your house there's got to be a father there's

1:07:03

got to be a father there's got to

1:07:05

be a map all right look on

1:07:08

like if you have a copy of the Declaration

1:07:10

of Independence look on the back of that that's

1:07:12

often where maps are found could

1:07:15

be a family photo could be hidden in

1:07:17

the floorboards maybe you know

1:07:20

in a secret drawer there's a map

1:07:23

somewhere with

1:07:24

a series of riddles attached

1:07:27

now your father is going

1:07:29

to make the riddles probably maybe about about

1:07:32

him or about your family your job

1:07:34

is to figure out these riddles and figure out

1:07:37

the clues to find your father

1:07:39

and maybe you'll find yourself along

1:07:41

the way are you positing

1:07:44

that the dad left but left something

1:07:46

behind to find him because

1:07:49

I thought you just really forgot what they asked

1:07:52

no no no no no they always leave

1:07:54

clues there's always traces there's always

1:07:57

a trail yeah

1:07:59

you could Just like, surely

1:08:01

you should have your dad's credit cards memorized. Like,

1:08:03

find that digital trail. Like, where's

1:08:05

he gone? He had to go somewhere. And

1:08:07

you know that episode of the office where they try and find Michael

1:08:09

again, and it's like walking out the door, it's like, where

1:08:11

would my dad go? I think

1:08:14

I'll get some shoes. The shoe store.

1:08:17

And it's like, you just get in your dad's frame

1:08:20

of mind. You bring your phone

1:08:22

with you, you look at the map, you're just like, where would

1:08:24

my dad, that piece of shit, go? And

1:08:27

then you get in contact with a hacker who can

1:08:29

just find him easily. Just

1:08:31

give a name. Surely, if

1:08:33

he's left you and your family, he can't be that smart.

1:08:36

That's not a smart move

1:08:38

to make. So I think

1:08:41

he's bound to still be using the same name somewhere.

1:08:44

And I think, I think depending

1:08:46

on your location and depending on your dad's

1:08:48

age, you could also sort of try

1:08:50

and find him via entertainment

1:08:53

shows that are going around. So

1:08:56

if you live in like Florida or something

1:08:58

like that, if Jimmy Buffett has been

1:09:00

touring around,

1:09:01

follow the trail of Jimmy Buffett because

1:09:03

he's bound to be going to those shows. Or

1:09:06

maybe Dave Matthews or, you

1:09:09

know, it depends on what your dad was

1:09:11

into. But you kind of have to, you have

1:09:13

to know a little bit about your dad to be able

1:09:15

to find him. I want to know

1:09:18

when these dads leave these pieces

1:09:20

of shit, when they up and leave their families

1:09:22

without a word, those sons

1:09:24

of bitches, when they leave,

1:09:27

are they just leaving everything? Like

1:09:29

if they packed a bag or are they just like,

1:09:31

I'm going out for cigarettes, like that age old quote. And

1:09:34

then it's like, did they just get in the car and leave? It's

1:09:36

like, what about all their stuff? Although

1:09:40

they're leaving their kids and their significant

1:09:42

others behind, so I don't think they really care about stuff.

1:09:45

Yeah, I think it's really just about

1:09:47

a new slate, you

1:09:49

know, fresh, clean slate. And they're just

1:09:52

going and living a new life. Here's

1:09:54

my terrible advice. Just leave your dad alone. Oh, you flip

1:09:57

it on its head. Your

1:10:01

dad didn't leave you you leave him now.

1:10:04

Oh, yeah, you don't tell people like my dad

1:10:06

left us Just say like we left my dad.

1:10:08

Yeah

1:10:10

He went out and he went out to get cigarettes

1:10:13

and we locked the door We

1:10:15

changed the locks and he couldn't get back in He

1:10:19

went out to get cigarettes and we never came

1:10:21

back and we moved He

1:10:24

came back and we were gone he

1:10:26

came back We put the whole house on

1:10:28

a big old truck and

1:10:31

he came back in the house Wasn't there when

1:10:33

he left we put it up on Zillow and it went in

1:10:35

two seconds because the housing market

1:10:37

is fucking crazy Yeah, there

1:10:40

was a whole family that moved in people

1:10:42

are just buying all around the place But we still

1:10:44

squatters rights. We still live

1:10:46

there. Well, it was crazy too because Like

1:10:49

the house was sold the new family

1:10:51

moved in

1:10:53

But dad was so absent that he didn't even

1:10:55

notice for like two weeks and then he was like These

1:10:59

are my kids. Yeah, he

1:11:01

just called your name and no one answers. He's like

1:11:03

wait Fuck

1:11:06

this is in my chair. He's

1:11:08

sitting in another guy's lap It's

1:11:11

like a Goldilocks situation. He's like this chair

1:11:14

doesn't feel right Hold on

1:11:16

a second and then that's why he

1:11:18

left because he

1:11:19

got confused But for

1:11:22

what to say as the first

1:11:24

thing Oh Man,

1:11:26

we're like with how many years that

1:11:28

the dad has been gone. You can like build up some

1:11:31

real fucking Kino

1:11:33

Like phrases. I just realized that

1:11:35

I used the word Kino and that phrase and I've never actually

1:11:38

used that before and I don't really Know what it means. I Well,

1:11:41

I was also wondering what it meant,

1:11:43

but I didn't have the strength.

1:11:45

I didn't have the keynote You

1:11:49

know that meaning

1:11:52

Grand cinematic especially in regards

1:11:54

to cinema or other cultural mediums

1:11:57

if you spell it with a K It's came of chance

1:11:59

similar to based on the drawing of numbers

1:12:02

that must correspond with the selected

1:12:04

numbers of the cards I think I wanted

1:12:06

to say primo and then the word Kino came

1:12:08

out anyway But

1:12:11

not their father because he's not that maybe

1:12:13

we could set up a little scenario where you get a

1:12:15

camera Yeah, this is what we're

1:12:17

doing. Okay. We're doing it

1:12:19

like to catch a predator, but it's to

1:12:21

catch an absent father to catch a

1:12:23

daddy Yeah

1:12:28

It's like it's like Nathan Fielder's

1:12:30

the rehearsal where you're planning for

1:12:32

so long and then you Snare

1:12:34

your dad like figure out what bar he's going

1:12:36

to over and over and over again So

1:12:39

then you buy out the entire bar

1:12:41

You flip it you create

1:12:43

that like tunnel scenario that he did in that and

1:12:46

then like you flip the bar It's not what he thinks

1:12:48

start turning your dad's whole fucking world upside

1:12:50

down

1:12:51

So he goes in everyone's not who's

1:12:54

normally there you start paying all these

1:12:56

actors You're in the background see if he

1:12:58

recognizes you and then you start being that

1:13:00

thing was like I was in the background all along

1:13:02

You start showing him the footage and then

1:13:05

When he goes down that tunnel to the bar and you flip that Outside

1:13:08

the bar that he started going into you

1:13:10

flip all that as well

1:13:12

you start bringing in a set

1:13:14

Obviously you're gonna have to invest quite a

1:13:16

substantial amount of money in this But

1:13:18

then when he comes back out his whole world is fucked

1:13:21

and then at the end you can say Now

1:13:23

you know what it feels like to have your world turned upside

1:13:25

down Boom mic

1:13:28

drop dad shits himself

1:13:31

Everyone laughs points you pants

1:13:33

him

1:13:34

Pull down his pants make everyone point and laugh

1:13:37

and then you end it with a second

1:13:39

mic drop of like

1:13:41

You're like goodbye Michael

1:13:44

you don't even call him dad Oh,

1:13:46

that's just one last one last

1:13:48

oh

1:13:50

Or yeah,

1:13:51

you know what Michael

1:13:53

when you left. I wasn't angry. I was

1:13:55

just disappointed

1:13:58

And then you walk off you like turn your back to give him one

1:14:00

of these and then

1:14:03

you you disappear you

1:14:05

fade you you throw down a smoke bomb

1:14:08

and it's all and

1:14:10

it's the person's ashes from

1:14:12

the first one oh you

1:14:16

really need to get

1:14:17

together and figure this out and then your dad's

1:14:19

fucking inhaling daddy

1:14:21

ashes to another dad that

1:14:24

has been gone for too long

1:14:26

is now inside a dad that

1:14:28

left too early

1:14:31

God that is keynote because that's cinematic

1:14:33

as fuck oh my god

1:14:36

and then it cuts

1:14:37

executive producer dick wolf dun

1:14:41

dun dun dun dun I think Chris

1:14:46

Hansen's there and he just accuses your

1:14:48

dad of grooming for

1:14:51

no reason I

1:14:52

mean I think we just we end that one there

1:14:55

because there's no better scenario than that we

1:14:57

came full circle that was yeah I

1:15:02

have another one from hunter Grisham

1:15:05

I love a good hunter shadow leakers

1:15:08

hunter says what would be the funniest

1:15:12

felony to commit tax run

1:15:14

this next one comes from Morgan thank

1:15:16

you so much Morgan I really want to invent

1:15:18

something life-changing do you have any ideas

1:15:21

of what I could invent there's no limit

1:15:24

oh no the opportunities

1:15:27

are an

1:15:28

endless truly endless

1:15:31

I think maybe branching off of the last

1:15:33

question a good invention

1:15:35

and it seems like there's quite a market for

1:15:37

it would be a dad detector okay

1:15:39

so it's kind of like a little

1:15:42

GPS thing but I think it would be kind of cool

1:15:44

if it worked like a like one of

1:15:46

those like radiation detectors where

1:15:48

there it's like a little clicker and so

1:15:50

you get closer to it to a dad

1:15:52

and then it just really starts going off like

1:15:55

a dad Geiger counter mm-hmm

1:15:57

I think though

1:15:59

those would sell like hotcakes. What about

1:16:01

a daddy detector to

1:16:03

see who is daddy? Ooh.

1:16:07

I kinda like that. Wow, that's good. It's like,

1:16:10

you know how people are like, let's

1:16:12

take out the gator. Like

1:16:15

use that.

1:16:16

I want that for daddies. Who is daddy?

1:16:18

I wanna like use it on myself to figure out if I

1:16:20

am in fact daddy. If you really

1:16:22

wanna maximize profit, what you do

1:16:25

is you build a time machine, okay?

1:16:28

You go back in time because there's no limit

1:16:31

and you invent hotcakes

1:16:34

before the person who invented

1:16:36

hotcakes makes hotcakes

1:16:37

because they always talk about, there's something

1:16:40

like hotcakes, which I feel

1:16:42

like is the most profitable

1:16:44

thing to ever exist. I

1:16:46

was like, what the fuck are hotcakes? Is this

1:16:48

an Americanism that I don't know about? Like moon pies

1:16:51

or something? Like I thought it was like an actual product,

1:16:53

not just a hot cake. Have

1:16:55

you ever had

1:16:56

a hot cake? I've had hot

1:16:58

buns. Maybe like a

1:17:00

chocolate lava cake that's hot. They're not

1:17:03

hot though. Yeah it is, it's warm.

1:17:05

Oh yeah, I guess so.

1:17:07

With like the chocolate sauce oozing.

1:17:09

Hotcakes or pancakes? What? Yeah,

1:17:11

hotcakes. Nobody really

1:17:13

calls them hotcakes. Pancake and

1:17:15

not at a cake? Yeah,

1:17:18

wait, hold on, you're right. It's not a cake.

1:17:21

It's a, what is it? I guess

1:17:23

it has like a cake like sponge to it, but

1:17:25

cake is not the sponge. Cake

1:17:28

is the amalgamation of everything. It's like maybe because

1:17:30

it's a stack of pancakes. It's

1:17:33

a cake made on a pan

1:17:34

and there's a stack of them.

1:17:36

And then you cover them in toppings. Honestly,

1:17:39

the ingredients sound a lot like cake. It's

1:17:41

like a bunch of layers of sponge and then you have like fruit

1:17:43

and like a syrup sauce.

1:17:45

Pancake dressing as I like to call it. I

1:17:48

think that cake is overrated. I don't

1:17:50

really like cake all that much, too much for

1:17:52

me. I like pie. Yeah. More

1:17:54

of a pie kind of guy. The Venn diagram of

1:17:56

cake and pie is just a circle and

1:17:59

it's all pie.

1:17:59

a

1:18:02

pie chart if you will

1:18:05

I also I'm not a great fan of cake I think the

1:18:08

novelty of cake is great but then when it comes

1:18:10

to cutting it and eating it I'm like this

1:18:12

is making me full and sad the

1:18:15

only kind of cake that I really like is carrot cake

1:18:17

I like carrot cake a lot mmm

1:18:20

or cheesecake here's the thing it's not

1:18:22

really a cake is it? it's more

1:18:24

of a pie! you certainly Charlie Day

1:18:27

suddenly

1:18:30

it's not really a cake! what's

1:18:32

the what's the name of the

1:18:35

person that he's trying to find I can't remember oh

1:18:37

god I don't know his name he's

1:18:38

like crazy with the drawings on the wall yeah

1:18:41

Carmen San Diego yeah

1:18:45

fuck cake I don't want any cake apologists

1:18:47

here Pepe Silvia Pepe

1:18:49

Silvia that's it yeah pie is much better

1:18:52

key lime pie I would much rather eat that

1:18:54

than a fucking cake so maybe they

1:18:56

should invent pie

1:18:59

for a pie applicator device

1:19:01

to my mouth you

1:19:03

should invent something that cuts pie easy

1:19:06

or cuts cakes easy instead I'm too like uses

1:19:08

these fucking tiered cakes you cut it down with it

1:19:10

a knife and it's like how do I get

1:19:12

this slice out

1:19:13

you know I think oh

1:19:16

man they should make like a like

1:19:18

a like a like a eight-sided guillotine

1:19:21

for pie where you just touch and

1:19:23

it just push eight-sided guillotine

1:19:25

for people oh cranking

1:19:28

these rocky numbers one day

1:19:31

at the time what's going on France start

1:19:33

to capitating all of them all at the same time

1:19:35

this is true and they have this long line

1:19:37

who wants to wait in line yeah like

1:19:39

lines I mean I guess everyone gets their time

1:19:41

in the spotlight and everyone gets to be like

1:19:43

what's your final words cake sucks

1:19:46

boom what would be your final

1:19:48

words oh that's a good one my

1:19:51

final words would be you'll never find the bomb

1:19:56

it's in your neck so then when

1:19:58

I just shoot

1:19:59

My final words will be you'll

1:20:02

never take me alive. Oh You

1:20:06

could really go out with some like bangers like

1:20:08

and subscribe Yeah, send

1:20:10

us your your final words. What

1:20:12

would your final words be? Yeah,

1:20:15

what's the funniest final words? I often think about that. What's

1:20:17

the funniest thing you can have on your tombstone?

1:20:20

It's like father son lover

1:20:23

thief What if

1:20:25

I put like now I'm rock hard forever

1:20:27

Just

1:20:30

six feet under and six inches hard That's

1:20:34

a good one that's it that's a good homework for next

1:20:37

week figure out what your final words are

1:20:39

and what what's on your tombstone? And eight-sided

1:20:41

guillotine, so I guess that's our answer Do

1:20:43

you have any ideas of what I could invent an

1:20:46

eight-sided guillotine

1:20:47

for cake and people or eight-sided?

1:20:50

Fleshlight for eight dudes to

1:20:52

stare each other as

1:20:54

they go at it Yeah,

1:20:57

oh you should invent a urinal at a toilet

1:21:00

that has a flashlight in it So you

1:21:02

can pee and fuck at the same time.

1:21:05

No, it's not a bad idea Yeah, or just make peeing

1:21:07

more fun peeing and pooping in public need

1:21:09

to be more fun You know I saw

1:21:11

this once at it at it at a

1:21:13

urinal and I was like, oh, that's kind of fun They had

1:21:15

these stickers of targets in the urinal

1:21:18

and I was like that is so much fun. It's

1:21:20

very inclusive though

1:21:22

No, I'm talking about like an all-in-one

1:21:24

solution where everyone has fun peeing Like

1:21:27

you pee through a thing in a toilet bowl

1:21:29

that makes music You know how like when you're driving

1:21:31

down a highway and like some of the road things

1:21:34

have like markings that make songs when you Go so

1:21:36

fast. Yeah, or wind going

1:21:38

through like certain mechanisms makes like

1:21:40

music and sounds What

1:21:42

if what if they had a built-in scale

1:21:44

specifically for the the toilet toilet?

1:21:47

So then it tells you how much your poop weighs

1:21:50

and whoever wins gets free drinks at that

1:21:52

bar

1:21:53

Now that's good. I know what you

1:21:55

invent and this is something that I actually

1:21:57

want invented is a toilet

1:21:59

When you poop or pee it

1:22:02

can analyze it so that if you're

1:22:04

deficient on nutrients Vitamins

1:22:07

if you have like colitis IBS

1:22:09

you have some sort of disease you have cancer

1:22:12

you have anything in between

1:22:14

Anything that's detectable through poop or pee.

1:22:17

I want a toilet that's able to detect those

1:22:20

Why haven't we invented that they they

1:22:22

have to ask for your stool samples for

1:22:24

various things I know build it into

1:22:26

the toilet like oh you have polyps

1:22:28

or oh you are not getting in a fiber

1:22:31

Like it's just oh the uses are endless

1:22:34

and then you have a built-in fax machine So

1:22:36

it will automatically send it to your doctor Yeah,

1:22:39

exactly and you get like a readout

1:22:41

of it every time there's like a screen on the back of it Why don't

1:22:43

we have smart toilets

1:22:44

with like screens on them? You've

1:22:47

got to invent them Morgan. You've got to

1:22:49

invent them invented and I will

1:22:51

buy it I'll buy five for

1:22:53

my house backups. Well.

1:22:56

This was another very exciting Episode

1:22:59

I feel leaked I feel Depleted

1:23:02

you know when you have a cow and you need to like milk

1:23:04

them every now and then or else there others will swell up And

1:23:07

burst and kill everyone in a 10-mile radius It's

1:23:10

like that we have built up stuff

1:23:12

in our brains that we just need to like milk that

1:23:14

leaky teat That's true. You

1:23:16

are extremely correct. I

1:23:18

Feel and smart satiated

1:23:20

smart and funny and

1:23:23

humble and we're both so handsome

1:23:27

Tell us how handsome we are if you have

1:23:30

Advice that you want you can send it to questions

1:23:33

at brain leak pod calm Yeah,

1:23:35

and it has to be bad advice don't ask us like

1:23:37

hey How do I pass my exams you could ask

1:23:39

that we'll give a funny answer, but give us

1:23:41

the good shit You could ask that and we probably

1:23:44

won't answer yeah Those

1:23:46

are the ones we skip we skipped

1:23:48

you yeah, how does it feel huh?

1:23:53

Well, thank you guys so much for listening.

1:23:56

Hope you enjoyed your time

1:23:58

if you're driving in a car I hope you got to your destination

1:24:01

alright if you're falling asleep to our

1:24:03

sweet slander voices WAKE

1:24:05

UP! YOU'RE LATE! Hahahaha! YOU

1:24:08

PISSED THE BED! Ah

1:24:10

shit! That's my way of saying stay leaky

1:24:13

Damn dude Stay leaky leaker Stay

1:24:15

leaky dude