0:01

You see Advani over

0:04

there, still full

0:06

of himself now. You

0:26

see, I am not in it myself. I don't need

0:28

to own the mines, Jonathan. Do you know why? Because

0:42

I own the man who owns the mines.

0:44

All he has I have. Same

0:46

with the supermarkets, the TV station, locomotive

0:48

plant. I don't need a podcast because

0:51

I own the men who do. I

0:55

don't remember that happening either. Now,

0:57

here's why I chose that. I

1:00

watched the movie maybe 16 hours

1:02

ago and I don't remember that. That's the longest one. I just

1:04

want to quickly read

1:07

through the other quotes on the page because they're not many. I

1:10

was excited to do a Chris Klein impression.

1:12

There were no Chris Klein quotes on this page.

1:14

He's too quotable. The first quote is attributed

1:17

to Chinese sports announcer. And

1:19

the line is simple, about as simple

1:21

as using a name brand condom. Do

1:23

you not remember that line? Next quote,

1:27

English sports announcer. And the other

1:29

rules, well, the other rules are

1:31

Russian and complicated. Paul Heyman. Great

1:33

Paul Heyman. There's the long Jon

1:36

Renau monologue I just did. Then

1:38

the next quote is English sports

1:41

announcer, Rollerball. Well, that's that I

1:43

remember in the movie, them yelling

1:45

that. And then there's an exchange

1:47

between Jon Renau and LL Cool

1:49

J that is, uh, Reed Lee, my

1:52

man, how are you? And then

1:54

LL Cool J says, I feel like Freddy

1:56

Kruger. Don't remember. I don't remember that either.

1:58

And did he get remembered? I didn't

2:00

understand it. Or did he get,

2:02

you know, was he subjected to

2:04

mob justice? Well, as the great Freddy

2:07

Krueger was. I'm sorry, Freddy

2:10

Krueger, the victim of the Vogue

2:12

Mindfire. The

2:15

radical left. These public school parents

2:17

think they could just be judged during

2:19

an execution just because he killed their

2:21

children. They

2:23

think they can throw him in a furnace. There

2:26

should be like a wicked style reimagining of

2:28

Freddy with the- Freddy was not so bad,

2:30

actually. I feel like that was the take

2:32

they tried to have on the Jackie or

2:35

Haley movie that was, were they wrong? There

2:37

was definitely that movie tried to do the

2:39

thing of which the original movie has of

2:41

like, are they being punished for killing him

2:44

outside of the law? Right. Right.

2:47

I always love how those movies- He killed 15

2:49

kids, but someone forgot to fucking file a piece

2:51

of paper. So he just walked free. He walked

2:53

free. The only other quote on the page is

2:56

genre knows long. It's

2:58

just so that you wrap it up. I'm not going to read it.

3:00

The rant about being on channel 109. Oh, yeah.

3:03

Which I do remember. That was a quality

3:05

moment. That's a little fun. I will kill

3:07

you myself. I will disappear your whole family.

3:09

Look, he's doing something. He is. Now,

3:12

I don't know if you found this, not to jump ahead, but

3:14

in the dossier that JJ put together, there

3:16

is a quote from John McTiernan promoting this

3:19

movie who said, I think he's the best

3:21

villain I've ever had in one of my

3:23

movies. Director of Die Hard and Predator. And

3:26

Predator. Yeah,

3:31

like Medicine Man is a better villain than this

3:33

movie. Yeah, pulled the disease. Cancer.

3:36

The ultimate villain. I mean, whose third best

3:38

villain is Sean Connery in Hunt for Red

3:41

October? Even if I said he thinks John

3:43

Renau is beating Hans Gruber, Predator. The

3:46

Predator. Let's call Connery a nod. Connery's sort

3:48

of a hero. Sure. You

3:50

still got Jeremy Irons or whatever. Yeah,

3:53

exactly. Like, you still have very good

3:55

B tier villains. I would even say

3:57

Last Action Hero has two good villains.

4:00

That's not a problem of that movie. Both

4:02

Ripper and fucking Trolls Dance are great though.

4:04

If Jon Renau went up against the Predator,

4:07

he would win. He has

4:09

the resources, he controls. He owns

4:11

the guy who owns the Predator. He

4:14

would have no problem taking down the Predator. No,

4:16

you're right. Well, I think it's like

4:18

Jon Renau is really easy to defeat.

4:20

Just don't move to Central Asia and

4:23

sign a deal with him. Then he

4:25

really can't mess with you. The

4:28

one way he'll get you is

4:30

he lures you to Rollerball. Right.

4:32

It's reverse vampire roles. Jon

4:35

Renau is allowed to murder you

4:37

as long as you accept his

4:39

invitation to come to Kazakhstan. This

4:42

is another thing about this movie. So this film's obviously shot

4:44

in 2000. It's supposed to be released in

4:46

2001. It comes out in 2002. Yeah.

4:50

Well, get into all of this. But Jon McTeeran says, I

4:53

need the film to take place in a country that no one's ever heard of.

4:55

So I picked Kazakhstan, a

4:58

country that only four years

5:00

later will be forever tied

5:02

in comedy to one character. Like

5:05

a country that now most people think is fake,

5:08

but associate exclusively with. So

5:11

you can't watch this movie and not

5:13

think like, they're nice over and over

5:15

and over again every time Kazakhstan comes

5:17

up. They

5:20

mostly say Central Asia. They try not to

5:22

think as it's too much. I didn't even

5:24

clock that. They show you a map. I don't

5:26

even have one. I have

5:29

a big chicken in the castle. Jon Renau says

5:31

that at one point. My solitary social life. Griffin,

5:34

what's this podcast? Just blank check with

5:36

Griffin and David. I'm Griffin. I'm David.

5:39

It's a podcast about filmography. What

5:41

is happening? The most dangerous, important

5:43

world podcasting about filmography. I see.

5:47

You have people who have massive success early on

5:49

in their careers and are giving a series of

5:51

blank checks to make whatever crazy passion projects they

5:53

want. Sometimes those checks clear and

5:56

sometimes they go to the roller ball,

5:58

baby. Absolutely. this

6:00

miniseries is called? It's

6:03

called Pod Hard

6:05

with a Vengecast. That's right. And it's

6:07

discussing the films of John McKernan. Now

6:09

look, the milk has been left out

6:11

and has spoiled at this point. We

6:13

talked about some bounces in our day.

6:15

This is the only film that bounced

6:17

someone straight to federal prison. And

6:19

I want to say right up front, it's obviously a

6:21

big discussion point with this movie. It's a real reason

6:23

we wanted to do McKernan for so long, as it's

6:26

arguably one of the greatest falls

6:29

from grace. Even if not for

6:31

incarceration, the drop-off on the career

6:33

is so severe. But I will say, having

6:35

never seen this movie before last night, and

6:38

knowing that this film eventually leads to

6:40

him serving time, I don't

6:42

think it was worth it. You

6:44

don't think so? This is my stance. I think if you're

6:46

gonna go to jail for a movie, which I wouldn't recommend,

6:49

I would not recommend. This is not

6:51

the movie that is worth. But the question is,

6:54

is this the version that he was fighting for?

6:56

Well, we can dig into it.

6:58

We need to dig into it. No.

7:00

I mean, no. No, I was fighting

7:02

for this. I think he ends up

7:04

in jail indirectly because of him being

7:06

so terrified by how this movie turned

7:08

out, right? I mean, the whole backbone

7:10

of the story is he is so

7:12

convinced that there was a conspiracy to

7:14

ruin this movie that leads to him

7:16

being behind bars. I

7:19

don't think there's any version of

7:21

this movie that is worth staking your freedom

7:23

on. The movie is kneecapped from the beginning.

7:25

Yes. From the time you cast its leads,

7:28

no offense to them. This is what's crazy.

7:30

They absolutely fucked with his movie, but also

7:32

in the quotes that JJ has pulled up,

7:34

the four worst decisions in this movie were

7:36

all seemingly made by John McCarran of his

7:39

own volition, and he explains why, and you're

7:41

like, that is the worst idea. We're gonna

7:43

talk about it. We're gonna talk about it.

7:45

It's also never worth going to jail. This

7:48

is my major take. I want

7:50

to say it's an overriding take. First of all, let's...

7:52

a bottle of salt prison. Okay, any...

7:54

Can we just... Can we just... Secondly, a

7:56

bottle of rollerball. Now

8:00

bring rollerballs back. Actually, I'm interested in

8:02

being... I think there's a rollerball to

8:04

be done. I'm supposed to think rollerballs

8:06

the hero of this film? Rollerball is

8:09

problematic. And this movie is

8:11

presenting it to me like it's a good

8:13

moral decent sport. I think rollerball is empowering.

8:16

Okay, I'd like this picture. We'll talk

8:18

about it. There's a version of rollerball I'm ready

8:20

to root for. I'm not sure it's this version

8:22

of rollerball, though. The sport or the movie? The

8:25

sport. The movie. Well, this movie I'm not rooting for. Our guest

8:28

today, we're turning to the show. I'm

8:30

gonna say it. I'm gonna say it. I

8:33

think one of our finest working character actors.

8:35

I think you have, in the last couple

8:37

of years, elevated

8:39

to being like one of the ultimate.

8:43

People are thrilled whenever you show up in

8:45

anything. I agree. Hey,

8:48

I'll take it. You should take it all the way to

8:50

the bank. I mean, you're recent character

8:52

work on Hollywood Handbook. Well, this

8:54

is the main strategy. Sexy Mummy. Outstanding

8:58

performance. Yeah, yeah,

9:00

certainly my most well-liked. I was gonna

9:02

say, I feel like you people stop

9:04

you in the street. Hey,

9:08

sexy mummy. I feel like you've elevated to

9:10

like the top tier of podcast guests. I

9:12

feel like you're one of the guys who's

9:15

like a Paul F. Tompkins high tide guest. Well,

9:17

I'll say it again. That stops today.

9:19

Okay. Well, you're gonna

9:22

grind this show to a halt. Oh,

9:24

big time. What I have heard

9:26

from so many people over the last year,

9:29

specifically calling out how much they love

9:31

the Yesterday episode, is like

9:33

seemingly the most well-liked episode we've had in

9:35

a while. And I messaged

9:37

you and said like, overdue to have you on

9:39

again. Here's the

9:42

exact text exchange. I said, we gotta

9:44

have you on again if you want to do

9:46

a McAtearin. Cannot tell you

9:48

how many people, how often people spotlight the

9:51

Yesterday app as their favorite. And then your

9:53

response is, I do think I had rollerball

9:55

on DVD possibly. Yeah. Yeah.

9:59

I'm now... confident I did. Did

10:02

you get it because like someone put out a

10:04

cardboard box of garbage and it was in there? So

10:08

here's my Here's

10:10

my Returning to the show

10:12

with the rollerball high and I didn't when you

10:14

mentioned McTearan and I was like well I don't

10:16

want to do like diehard. That's too like it's

10:19

that's such a Perfect movie, you know,

10:21

I love almost all the I

10:24

love his movies and I

10:26

do remember I don't remember it was probably

10:28

DVD because we were kind of post VHS

10:31

For the most part at the point eat DVD

10:33

movie So I'll be honest It was in

10:35

that era of my life where I was

10:38

fooled by the marketing of this is

10:40

the unrated version of a film That

10:42

it's that is important with the I

10:45

was I was a probably a freshman

10:47

in high school So I was

10:49

like hey, you know I

10:51

hadn't seen the movie but any chance to

10:53

get like more violence or more nudity I

10:56

was like I gotta at least check it

10:58

out and it probably took me You

11:01

know $150 worth of my

11:03

money to realize that it's always basically the same movie

11:05

and like there's maybe 30 seconds

11:07

more footage But in most cases,

11:09

yeah Yeah, that's actually

11:12

a good question. Where are the real unrated? Editions

11:15

where it was a thing versus like

11:18

the later gimmick of like a

11:20

throne one Like the big thing

11:22

they started doing was are rated

11:24

already raunchy comedies being released on

11:26

DVD with the unrated and out

11:28

of control Which very

11:30

quickly it became clear. These are not

11:32

scenes that were cut for extremity of

11:34

content This is they shot a couple

11:36

extra scenes specifically for the DVD It

11:39

became such a part of the business

11:41

model or someone like, you know

11:43

comes on a muffin or whatever, right? It

11:48

would feel like they've literally forced scenes

11:50

into the development process only for the

11:52

DVD later and oftentimes they wouldn't actually

11:55

This is another trick they would do you'd be

11:57

like these added scenes aren't dirtier than what made

11:59

it the R-rated cut and they went, yeah, but

12:01

we didn't resubmit the new cut to the MPA. Right,

12:03

but I do not rate it. Right, that was always

12:06

their argument. The only difference in this cut is a

12:08

couple alt takes of the same dialogue. Yeah, but we

12:10

didn't send it to get rated. It

12:12

is unrated and out of control. Rollerball

12:14

is a movie though where this is like

12:16

one of the things that McTyran and Faunover

12:18

is like, this is designed as a hard

12:20

R, we'll dig into all of this, it's

12:22

sort of neutered upon release, and then there's

12:24

this last minute like way too late attempt

12:27

to salvage it by being like, we're putting

12:29

the extreme shit back on the DVD. That

12:31

having been said, I dug deep onto the

12:33

internet last night, I was going through a lot of corners

12:36

and there was a detailed testimony I read

12:38

from someone who went to one of the

12:40

early R-rated test screenings and he was

12:42

like, what I saw was much more extreme than

12:45

what is ultimately on the R-rated DVD. Yeah, at

12:47

the end of the day they just put in

12:50

some boobs and what, a couple

12:52

like bloody hits maybe, that's it,

12:54

right? There's less boobs than there

12:56

were originally, possibly. So

12:59

I don't know what version I even

13:01

watched yesterday, I watched it on 2B.

13:04

Okay. So is that the unrated

13:06

version or is that the theatrical version? I watched

13:09

it on iTunes, what seems to be on iTunes

13:11

is the only option is now what was on

13:13

the unrated DVD. Yeah, I believe you probably also

13:15

thought the other day. It's a big way to

13:17

tell. That's mostly what's around these days, right? It's

13:19

a locker room scene. Yes. If

13:22

you see boobs, it's the R-rated version. And

13:24

when it was released in theaters, they CGI

13:26

tank tops onto them. Oh my God. It

13:28

is one of those movies where they like

13:30

painted black tank top. I quite shut situations.

13:32

Yes. So that's the one clear tell

13:35

of which version you're watching. I think the theatrical

13:37

version basically is no longer in circulation. I

13:39

do, like who would want it? I mean. I'm

13:41

going to be honest, I would love to see

13:44

it. Well, I'm sure you

13:46

could find it somewhere, at the very least you could

13:48

buy a DVD. I read those, I have another 47

13:50

hours on it. It

13:53

also was skipping kind of in moments

13:55

like they was this is poorly edited,

13:57

right? What are you talking

13:59

about? What do you mean? What do you mean?

14:01

Okay, sorry. There are

14:04

no technical meddling. This is

14:06

sweat off of Materian Zone

14:08

editing table. It's a pure

14:10

cut. A consistent vision. I

14:13

try to, you know, look, I don't want to fall

14:15

into hyperbole with every movie we've covered

14:19

on the show. This might be the most

14:21

incoherent film we've ever discussed. I don't know

14:23

if it's the worst. Look,

14:25

I'll say it's not incoherent in that

14:27

like it follows the

14:30

formula of films that are coherent.

14:33

Yes. Guy takes job,

14:36

sports turns out to

14:38

be bad and rigged, rebels.

14:40

Yes. Okay?

14:43

Like that happens in the film. Agreed. Right.

14:46

That is the plot of the film. But the

14:48

only way you understand that that's what's happening in

14:50

the film is you're having seen other films. And

14:52

you're relating and you're like, I guess this must

14:54

be them attempting to do that kind of thing.

14:56

It only works by association of more functional movies.

14:58

Have you seen the original Rollerball? No, I haven't.

15:00

So in that film, which I have seen, which

15:02

is in my opinion, not a masterpiece, but is

15:05

both the functional film and a fairly influential

15:07

one in its way. And is on

15:10

paper, the exact perfect kind of movie to

15:12

remake 30 years later, 25 years later, where

15:15

you're like, this is a movie with

15:18

incredible concept, some incredible iconography. It

15:20

doesn't totally nail the execution. But

15:23

in the original movie, the sport of

15:25

Rollerball makes sense. It is. And

15:28

by the way, those sequences are thrilling to

15:30

watch. They're really cool. It's way simpler. There's

15:32

no ramp and tunnel. No. There's

15:35

no, none of that business. It's just

15:37

like a bicycle track. It's just a

15:39

ring. A lot of simple master shots

15:41

where you can- It's basically roller derby

15:43

with motorcycles. The game is legible. Roller

15:45

derby with motorcycles and like botry balls.

15:47

Yeah. You throw a ball at a

15:49

thing. I mean, like in roller derby, there's no ball. But like

15:51

it's the same basic concept. You're just trying to knock people over. Right.

15:54

It's like a combination of all this stuff. But

15:56

you're like, I get it. You watch it immediately.

15:58

This movie has a sequence. in which Paul

16:01

Heyman is explaining the rules to

16:03

you in detail, accompanied by a

16:05

CGI graphic meaning to

16:07

illustrate the rules of the game and it

16:09

doesn't make sense as they're taking the time

16:11

to stop it. I want to say, I

16:13

really like that part. And

16:16

I'm like, I think it's maybe the best

16:18

thing in the movie. I don't say that.

16:21

As I was watching, I was taking notes

16:23

and I was marking time codes as

16:25

to when I thought this was still an

16:28

incredible, brilliant movie. I

16:31

got to about 38 minutes in before

16:34

it started to show cracks for me. A

16:37

couple of hairline cracks. Yeah.

16:39

But the quote we talked about where he says

16:41

the rest of the rules are in Russian and

16:43

they're congregating, we're not getting into it. That's all

16:45

I needed to hear. Because then I know I

16:48

don't need to worry about what the rules are.

16:50

I didn't think I may have made the mistake

16:52

in even trying to give us any rules. I

16:54

agree. Because what he does, he's like, all right, here are the

16:56

rules. And he says 80 rules. And

16:58

then he's like, the rest of the rules. I'm like,

17:00

how can there be more rules? I believe he also

17:02

does double back. He's like, OK, you got to do

17:04

two laps. And then he's like, but first. He's

17:07

like, first you got to go through the tunnel. And

17:10

then he goes through the fucking tunnel. Why are these

17:12

rules out of order? Which, let me see the tunnel

17:14

happen one time, I think, in the entire film. They

17:16

do it right away and then they never talk about

17:18

the tunnel again. And he makes it sound like, and

17:20

it is hard to get to the tunnel. Chris Brown

17:22

goes to the tunnel. He walks into that tunnel. Yeah.

17:25

And he's like, I'm not interested in the world. That makes it feel

17:27

to me like this is a real sport and that someone was like,

17:29

those are the rules. We have to include

17:31

the tunnel because all the fans of real rollerball

17:33

will be upset if our

17:36

movie doesn't look like it. Yeah. There's

17:39

no tunnel in the original. But I feel like this is the point

17:41

you were trying to make. The cold open

17:43

of the original rollerball film is just a

17:45

game happening that you watch for basically 15

17:48

minutes uninterrupted where they do not stop to explain the

17:50

rules to you. And you're like, I think I get

17:52

this. It is all just communicated through

17:55

action. And you're like, I think

17:57

I get this. And also, this is really exciting to watch.

18:00

movie like does not drop you dead

18:02

into the middle of it it tries

18:04

to ease you into it and is

18:06

infinitely more confusing I love being

18:09

explained the rules of something fiction David

18:11

loves I love fictional

18:13

sports when I get like an NBA

18:16

2k game like one of those games I

18:18

don't play basketball and I immediately go to

18:20

like create League and then I'm like alright

18:22

we're moving the Rockets to fucking Omaha like

18:25

I just start messing with it the new

18:27

tutorial just arrived in

18:29

the mail tutorial I mean

18:31

that's what I call NBA like

18:34

I am all in if this guy is

18:37

like okay this is the Uzbekistan rough riders

18:39

you know they have a clown a devil

18:41

a chain guy I'm like yes that's what

18:43

I want instead it's just like he starts

18:46

explaining things 50 times and cuts himself off

18:48

in the middle being like I don't know

18:51

man don't worry about it okay like it's

18:53

they don't even have the guts to really tell

18:55

us how well they know their audience and their

18:57

audience is not you they're like dumb dumbs who

19:00

are like have an attention span that will last

19:02

15 seconds I think you need to see it

19:04

as they do have the guts to not explain

19:06

it sure it's like I don't into smart they

19:09

can if you ask me this movie this

19:12

movie is a direct spiritual

19:14

precursor to Fury Road hey

19:18

essentially lays the groundwork in that

19:20

motorcycles aren't where they should be

19:22

you mean like that and there's

19:24

like some shredding guitar at moments

19:26

where you weren't expecting it there's

19:28

like a guy carrying a little

19:30

puppet you know there's

19:33

just a lot going on really it's like

19:35

new metal yeah like it's like what is

19:38

not a road to come out so but

19:40

not pink in the movie yeah right away

19:42

been like

19:46

if so not don't sign on cancel felt

19:48

like they are the first phone call we

19:50

make executive consultants I remember

19:53

Griffin so I was 16 when

19:55

this came out I rose about 2015 yeah I was 13 and

20:00

Yeah, this was like, it was like John McChurnan

20:02

is remaking Rollerball with Chris Klein. And I was

20:04

like, those first two things sound good to me.

20:07

And I probably wasn't anti-Chris Klein at this point. I

20:09

don't know if I was like crazy for Klein. I

20:11

think we need to place ourselves in that day, which

20:13

is, at that moment, Chris Klein had a very good

20:15

comedy career. He had done election

20:18

and two American Pie movies. Yes. And

20:20

that's basically like a two out of three

20:23

ain't bad situation. Right. And you're like... It's

20:25

not like... But who walks out of American

20:27

Pie being like, you know who's fucking splitting

20:30

my sides with that Klein fella? I agree.

20:32

But he's made an election. Yes. And look,

20:34

this is not a totally fair comparison, but

20:36

you're like, no one

20:38

thought Bradley Cooper was going to go from

20:41

the hangover to American Sniper. You could see

20:43

them just being like, this guy undeniably looks

20:46

like a leading man. He can hold

20:48

the camera. He's given three good comedy

20:50

performances. Maybe this guy can move lateral.

20:53

It wasn't until they tried it... No, because he's a face. He's

20:56

like a guy you could be for him. It

20:58

wasn't until they tried it that it became so

21:00

apparent, no, he is good at playing one thing

21:02

and one thing only. You can play like a

21:04

hayseed, like a hot hick. He can play affable

21:07

doofus. Yeah. This was like his first pivot away

21:09

from... Yeah. His first action film. Right.

21:12

He did We Were Soldiers in the same year

21:14

where he's one of the, you know, soldiers. Not

21:16

like a lead character there. Which is like his

21:18

first drama. 202

21:20

is him trying to step out of

21:23

teen comedy, high school comedy for the

21:26

first time. And face planting basically. Yeah,

21:28

because then after that, who

21:30

is he in Just Friends? Is he like really

21:32

good in Just Friends? Is he really good in

21:34

it? I feel the need to defend this because...

21:36

Because I haven't seen Just Friends or if I

21:38

have, I don't remember. No, Just Friends, you're like...

21:40

That's the Ryan Reynolds movie I've seen. Ryan

21:45

Reynolds is so caught up in not

21:47

seeming like the sensitive, friend-zoned guy he

21:49

was in high school and trying to

21:51

be an aloof asshole to Amy Smart.

21:54

And Chris Klein plays the super

21:56

emotional sweetie pie guy that she

21:58

starts falling for Ryan Reynolds hates.

22:01

And he plays like the parody

22:04

of a soft boy. I

22:07

think he's good in it. It's like something he'd

22:09

be good at. I'm like, American Pie won, election,

22:12

just friends. I'm like, those

22:14

are three perfectly cast Chris Kye

22:16

applying uses. Have

22:18

you seen Street Fighter, The Legend of

22:21

Chun-Li? I have not. Is

22:23

he in that? So he plays, have you played

22:25

Street Fighter game? Yeah. You're familiar. So that game

22:27

is, that movie is like, all right, it's this,

22:29

there's a bit of a less about street fighting

22:31

and more about like cops trying to bust up

22:33

like a ninja ring. Okay. And

22:36

Chris then, everyone wants, everyone can play

22:39

my Street Fighter is that it's too

22:41

colorful and fun. What if we ground

22:43

this in hard reality and no one

22:45

really fights? So Kristen Craig, Lana

22:47

Lang herself plays Chun-Li as like a sort

22:49

of like undercover spy trying to figure out

22:52

the shady dealings of M Bison who's

22:54

like a businessman. And

22:57

Chris Kye plays Charlie, the Street

22:59

Fighter character Charlie as

23:01

a cop, like an inter-poll agent. And

23:04

it is, I think universally agreed to be the

23:06

worst performance ever given in film, right? And

23:09

there was a viral video that went around that

23:11

just is a super cut of every line he

23:13

speaks in the film. And it's, it's devastating to

23:15

watch. It's so tough. I gotta check it

23:17

out. Cause it's just him being like, well, I

23:20

guess this is the case for us. Like it's

23:22

like stuff like that. We're like, no, no, they

23:24

surely, like this isn't from the film, right? Like,

23:26

have you seen it? Super cut,

23:28

no. Have you seen Chun-Li, Street

23:30

Fighter, The Legend of Chun-Li? No. Would

23:33

we watch it, Griff, if we did Street Fighter as

23:35

a Patreon commentary series? Well, we have to wait for

23:37

there to be a third one. I have referred to

23:40

this line many times over the course of the show

23:42

and I want to properly credit and read it properly

23:44

cause watching Roll-Up All, I was like, I need to

23:46

get this line dead to rights correct and give it

23:48

proper credit. Alonzo Deralde,

23:51

writing a review for the Today Show

23:53

at the time on today's show's website.

23:55

It didn't even air, has the line,

23:58

I can't remember the last time I- I

24:00

watched an actor fail to walk

24:02

into a room convincingly, but Klein

24:04

does it. Look for a

24:06

YouTube montage of his Street Fighter performance to pop up

24:08

any day now, which is what happened. But I just

24:10

think about that all the time. Last

24:12

time I watched an actor fail to walk

24:15

into a room convincingly. Now I will say

24:17

his Street Fighter performance feels

24:19

like a years later overcorrection for

24:22

a feeling that he wasn't tough enough in

24:25

Rollerball, right? It

24:27

feels like he's like, fuck, I seemed a little

24:29

too corn fed in Rollerball. I need a chip

24:31

on my shoulder. I'm going like full Clint Eastwood.

24:33

And that movie is him slick back hair leather

24:36

jacket being like, give me the beat. Sounds

24:38

like Bison's behind this. I was like, I

24:40

just need your foot in this. He's Lucas

24:43

Lee from Scott Pilgrim. That's

24:45

what he's doing the whole time. Whereas

24:47

you're right, in this he barely like

24:49

registers as a guy. No, it is.

24:52

This is the thing. Street

24:54

Fighter is such a big swing that I

24:56

think became such a black mark on his

24:58

career. And it was like that followed by

25:00

the Mamma Mia audition video leaking out, turned

25:03

him into just like definitive punchline. This

25:06

drew like, I don't think he didn't say

25:08

wrong. He's not great. I

25:10

think he was horribly cast. It

25:13

is astonishing how little he registers as

25:15

the lead character. Not much

25:17

to the character. Like, maybe at

25:19

the end when they're like, and

25:21

now the most famous rollerball player

25:23

is Jonathan. Oh, no, Jonathan. Yeah.

25:27

Well, it's properly credited. What is he

25:29

called? Like rip quarters. Jonathan E. Jonathan

25:31

E. Jonathan cross, of course. Oh, the

25:33

character's name. But

25:36

like if you're doing pro wrestling, which is what they're

25:38

doing. Yeah. Why isn't he called

25:40

like fucking stars and stripes or whatever? Yeah.

25:43

His character also is like

25:45

not really coherent to me in that.

25:48

He's a man who

25:50

was almost like NHL

25:52

level hockey player, but who

25:55

is also into like X

25:57

game style. Into like, like,

25:59

freakluge. Right, which to me, it's like

26:01

if you're a hockey player, you start so

26:03

young and you get a, you know, like...

26:05

And you're from like Saskatchewan. Right. And you

26:08

like skate on a pond. But he would

26:10

like also had XXX like that.

26:12

But you gotta go full XXX. Before XXX,

26:14

which is wild, because it basically has

26:16

the same openings. Yes, yes. It is

26:19

wild and it isn't. Like it's, those

26:21

movies are tapping into what they sense

26:23

in the atmosphere. Right. They just

26:25

do it far enough in roller coaster. Right, XXX. XXX

26:28

was a big hit that no one liked.

26:31

Right. That absolutely benefit like it. XXX

26:35

III I will stand for all day and all

26:37

night. Maybe we should do all three XXX's with

26:39

Zach. We should just watch them. Yeah, I mean,

26:41

I like the first one. I do like two.

26:43

Like the third one. I have never seen the

26:45

second one. Two is wild. Yeah. The second one

26:48

is wild. I will say that. I have seen

26:50

the second one. It's really wild. Yeah. The second

26:52

one is a... It's like an out of breath

26:54

ice cube running from like Bulgarian parking lots of

26:56

Bulgarian parking lots. It's like a Washington DC political

26:58

thriller. And

27:00

so it's the weirdest supporting cast. Ice

27:02

cube. It's like he didn't even like really

27:05

hit a treadmill. He's just like right from

27:07

are we there yet? He's just like, yeah,

27:09

give me a fucking submachine gun. I'll run

27:11

around. And after the first movie, it's like

27:13

this is the most extreme guy. This

27:16

guy like snowboards to like get breakfast

27:18

or whatever. He's got

27:20

80 abs. Which commutes on a

27:23

hangdriver. XXX III does the same thing of

27:25

like, right. This guy is addicted to thrills.

27:27

He's doing the most extreme shit all the

27:29

time. But this is the end. Like the

27:32

end all be all for him is living

27:34

this way. This movie opens with Chris Klein's

27:36

street looging for 10 minutes. If

27:39

you want to break into the NHL, which I

27:41

think he does, right? My like, what if I

27:43

go to my manager and I'm like, yeah, so

27:45

I need, you know, the Ottawa senators get back

27:47

to me. Now they're thinking about it. Okay, I'm

27:49

gonna do street looging. Don't get hit by a

27:51

car, buddy. They never have the right. This

27:55

movie has two different character setups happening

27:58

simultaneously and they can't pick what. One

28:00

is either he's Xander Cage, this guy lives

28:02

through the thrill, but the cops are always

28:04

on his back. But then he would want

28:06

to play roller. Exactly. Then

28:09

he would leave to be talked to. He goes, there's a

28:11

foreign country where you can play a sport that's so extreme

28:13

and they'll pay you for it and make you famous. And

28:15

he's like, I'm in. The other version of it is, guy

28:17

who's always this close to get...

28:20

Right on the cusp of a professional athlete. And he's like, I

28:22

think this year I'm finally going to make it. L. Cole J.

28:24

is like, look, dude, let's face facts. You're

28:27

not making it. If you want to

28:29

be an athlete, there's only one option left. Now,

28:31

the sport's a little dangerous. I know you're not

28:33

a thrill seeker. You wanted to play legit sports.

28:36

But if you come over here, you'll have

28:38

a career. You've always wanted to be a

28:40

goaltender. But how do you feel about roller

28:42

skating in a rejected American Gladiator ring while

28:44

I ride a motorcycle next to you? This

28:46

movie is doing both at the same time.

28:49

It tries to argue that this guy is so... What am

28:51

I being paid in? You're being paid in a CopEx? You're

28:54

being paid in fake currency? This

28:56

movie's trying to argue that he's like one

28:58

hair away from making the Mighty Ducks, but

29:01

also he lives for the

29:03

thrill of death. Let's look up.

29:05

The Tenge is the Kazakhstan currency.

29:08

Now you could make this movie and it's like

29:10

they're on a fucking island in

29:13

the North Pole and they're being paid in Bitcoin

29:15

or whatever. We're ready

29:17

for Rollerball to be attempted again,

29:19

I think. I think so. Yeah.

29:22

Here's a thing that's kind of a mind blower. We're

29:25

now almost at the distance from McTiernan's

29:27

Rollerball. The McTiernan's Rollerball

29:29

was from Norman Jewison's Rollerball. That

29:32

makes sense. Yeah, we're ready. This

29:34

movie is 22 years old. It's

29:37

like cicadas. Every rollerball

29:41

goes to Norman and... David.

29:45

Yes? Ants. Ants.

29:49

Ants. Ants. Ants.

29:52

I hate getting cornered by him. We all

29:54

do. I knew that was going to be

29:57

a relatable conversation starter. Why aren't you getting

29:59

married? What's going on with that promotion? Why

30:01

haven't you moved out of mom and dad's basement,

30:03

Griffin? Oh, those were directed at

30:05

me? I thought they were... Oh, now I feel attacked.

30:09

Get out of the basement, Griffin! Uh,

30:12

I don't listen. She just judges, judges, judges.

30:14

You know, you're getting together with your family.

30:16

You might have to be in a barrage

30:18

with these kinds of questions. But... And

30:21

they're in grin and bear it. I don't

30:23

want you feeling that way when you talk

30:25

to your doctor about, like, a weird rash

30:27

or that you eat pizza when too many

30:29

times a week or something else. Unfortunately... Yeah,

30:32

I'm read for filth by this head copy right now. Unfortunately,

30:34

the twist to this riddle is

30:37

that the doctor is my aunt. Oh,

30:39

no! But other people might have another one. I

30:41

can't treat those patients! Another dad. He's

30:43

my nephew! Yeah. Enter ZocDoc,

30:45

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30:48

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30:50

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30:52

of doctors, all with verified patient reviews, so you can

30:54

make sure the vibes are vibing before you ever meet

30:56

IRL. People think, well,

30:58

what are the valuable attributes in

31:00

a doctor? Sure. Big brain. Steady

31:04

hand. Sharp eye. Sure. Quietly.

31:07

I have an eagle! Hand of a hawk! It's

31:10

about the ear. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. The ear

31:12

and the heart. The doctor who can listen

31:14

and understand. Yeah, look, the whole

31:16

thing with ZocDoc. Yeah.

31:20

Well, there's lots of good things with ZocDoc. Many

31:22

good things. It helps you see if a doctor

31:24

has insurance, it helps you book appointments. Often you

31:26

can do within 24 or 48 hours. Yeah.

31:31

You could do a nulti-murray, you could do

31:33

a second nulti-murray. But you really can also

31:36

try to see if a doctor will make you feel

31:38

comfortable or prioritize your health. You can

31:40

search by location, you can search by

31:42

availability, you can search by insurance. There's

31:44

no compromises here because with ZocDoc you've

31:46

got more options than you

31:49

know. And they're not

31:51

gonna judge you for eating. Well, maybe the

31:53

pizza thing will come up. But the basement

31:55

living probably won't. ZocDoc is a free app

31:57

and website where you can search and compare

31:59

highly rated... in networked doctors near you and

32:02

instantly book appointments with them online. But immediately,

32:04

you don't have to wait on hold with

32:06

the receptionist, and they've all got verified reviews

32:09

from real, actual patients. Thank God, because

32:11

you know, the unfortunate thing

32:13

is, the receptionist, my

32:15

other aunt... Sheesh! When

32:18

I go to the doctor's office, I get an ear... Are you

32:20

calling from a basement? Zocdoc,

32:23

okay? Yep. I use

32:26

this and you should too. Go

32:28

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32:30

Zocdoc app for free. Then

32:33

Then find and book a top rated doctor

32:35

today. That's

32:37

Z-O-C-D-O-C. Yeah,

32:44

or in the middle. 48 hours and

32:46

ulti Murphy, which I accidentally said is ulti

32:48

Marie twice. Now,

32:51

I have a question about timeline, because I haven't seen

32:53

the first film. But I looked it up, and it

32:55

was made in what, 70... But

32:58

it was set in 2005. It

33:01

was set in the future. Zoc. Now, this

33:03

rollerball was set... 2018, to be clear. Was

33:07

set only a few years after it

33:09

was shot. They pulled the, uh, in

33:11

the near future with it. Yeah. Guess

33:13

whose decision that was? John McTiernan,

33:15

the man who claims they sabotaged his movie. All

33:17

right. Because I thought that was interesting. And I

33:19

also, I don't know if it really

33:21

qualifies as a sci-fi. Like...

33:23

Agreed. The movie that first one really

33:26

is. The first movie is more of

33:28

a dystopian film. It's set in

33:30

the future. The world is run by businesses.

33:32

Right. This is just like, yeah, it's like

33:34

two years later, and it's in Kazakhstan. Yeah,

33:36

exactly. Not really right. The first

33:38

one... And this is the thing.

33:40

Like, the first one has a lot of issues, right?

33:42

But you're like, the actual,

33:45

the sequences of rollerball are undeniably

33:47

thrilling. So same for this one.

33:49

James Coss. Perfectly. So

33:52

far, one to one. Perfectly enhanced. Perfectly

33:55

cast. No comments. Right.

33:58

Not a one to one there, maybe. Yeah, but it's

34:00

in like it's a head of like sort of

34:02

Robocop It's it's

34:04

I would argue very aligned with the purge

34:07

for the argument The sort of world

34:09

of the movie is that like we

34:11

have let big business take over

34:13

society We have our like

34:15

quote-unquote benevolent corporate oligarchs who run

34:18

everything and they've basically created

34:20

like world peace They've eradicated war

34:22

everything is civil and hermetic and

34:24

clean and rollerball is basically

34:26

the purge televised It's

34:28

the one place where aggression is let

34:31

out in society It's sort of like

34:33

the equivalent of public executions where people

34:35

watch the spreader cercus is shit We'll

34:37

get thrown into this, you know, bloody

34:39

mash and try to survive but it's like

34:42

this is where the the cultural anger

34:44

frustration violence gets released and When

34:48

they set out to remake this movie that was

34:50

they were like look it's even more There's a

34:52

way to evolve this and McTiernan went no, no,

34:54

no, no. No just put it in a weird

34:56

country Yeah, we lost a little bit of that.

34:58

We do this one. I crack

35:01

open this Dossier assuming I'm gonna read

35:04

MGM refused to pay to set it in the future Studio

35:07

said it was less relatable. It was in

35:09

the future. They were ready to go with

35:11

this movie takes place in the future It's

35:13

a collapsed society if I can shout out

35:15

one of my favorite movies of recent years

35:17

Please elita battle angel, which does

35:19

rollerball basically basically they which is a

35:21

futuristic film Obviously have you danced with

35:24

elita? Yes. Yes. I love to leave

35:26

it. I believe it's called murder ball

35:29

No, that's that's an actual sport. I forget

35:31

what it is. Whatever the rollerball thing they

35:33

play That's awesome Like and those sequences are

35:35

great and it's a movie right and it's

35:38

like underlining all of the like here's what's

35:40

happened to society Stuff right motor ball motor

35:42

ball, right? Murder ball, of course is paraplegic

35:45

basketball that is right in and

35:47

is crazier than any of the sports

35:50

we're discussed. Yes So,

35:52

okay. Yes 1975 Norman

35:54

Jewison is a follow-up to fiddler on the roof

35:57

and Jesus Christ super star made a movie called

35:59

rollerball sold bizarre that he made this. It's

36:01

information that pops out of my head because it

36:03

doesn't fit. Back in the day, it was like,

36:05

do a sci-fi every so often, right? Those

36:08

are hot, you know, especially in the 70s. And it was also a,

36:11

it was a talent sci-fi in a

36:13

way that was a little rare. Con

36:15

like three years after Guy Father,

36:17

he's big deal. Pre-Star Wars, it's kind of

36:19

interesting that this was such a major movie

36:21

from people at a major

36:23

point in their career. And the film

36:26

does well. JJ could not verify the

36:28

final gross. But it was a success. It

36:30

had sort of a cult following that lingered for a

36:32

while. Like that movie's got interesting ideas. That movie's kind

36:35

of effective. So this is interesting

36:37

that MGM, at

36:39

some point owns United Artists, who made the original. They

36:41

buy it in the 80s. And

36:44

at some point in the 90s, they're like, we

36:46

should do video games with our properties. GoldenEye,

36:49

the Nintendo 64 game, is

36:52

there one unqualified success from that initiative? But

36:54

it makes perfect sense. MGM is buying UA

36:56

at the way we watch all the time

36:58

now when these companies buy other companies and

37:01

immediately go what IP to exploit? They go,

37:03

what are the three properties we have that

37:05

are best suited for a video game? James

37:07

Bond, check. Rocky, check. Rocky and

37:09

Rollerball are the other kids. And then Rollerball's the

37:11

third one. And people, I think, went, Rollerball, that's

37:14

weird to be included. But you know what, you're

37:16

right. That movie does feel like it's built to

37:18

be a video game. But they eventually abandon it

37:20

and decide, let's do a

37:22

movie. Right. It seems like

37:24

the process of them considering it for

37:26

a video game made them realize why

37:28

wouldn't we just make a new movie?

37:30

John McChirnan had just remade a Norman

37:32

Jewison United Artists film to Thomas Crown

37:34

Affair. Yes, 34 Year comes out after

37:36

it, but he made that before it.

37:38

In the timeline of his career, yeah.

37:41

And they liked that movie. Do you

37:43

like that movie? Pierce Brazos, Steel and

37:45

Art? Haven't seen that one. Gentlemen

37:47

Criminal? Do you like it, Gentlemen Criminal? Sounds

37:49

right up my alley. Do you like it?

37:51

It's a wonderful film, but it's classic Hollywood

37:53

thinking of, we just worked with this director,

37:56

who did a good job remaking a different director's movie.

37:59

Why wouldn't we... We hire him to do

38:01

a different remake of that previous director's

38:04

other film. At that point, yes, he had made

38:06

two kind of bizarre flops, Last

38:08

Action Hero and The 13th Warrior.

38:11

But neither of them are, I

38:13

think, Fiasco's in the way this movie, I mean,

38:15

nothing is a fiasco in the way this movie

38:17

is. So they can kind of hand-wave it with

38:19

like, look man, he did Die Hard with the

38:21

Vengeance, that rocked, he did Thomas Crown, that was

38:23

so successful. I think Last Action Hero is seen

38:25

as classic studio like that. People

38:28

were sick of him. I think it gets

38:30

pinned more on this just Schwarzenegger's folly. I

38:32

think at the time of that movie, it's

38:34

pinned on Arnie. I think 13th Warrior, they're

38:36

like, well, that whole thing just went pear-shaped.

38:39

And then fucking Thomas Crown was one

38:41

of those movies that like, gets someone

38:43

back in good standing, where they

38:46

were like, this shouldn't have worked. He made a

38:48

solid hit late summer for grownups. And McJernan is

38:50

like, that's my favorite movie that I've made since

38:52

Hunt for Red October. I wanted

38:54

to make an adult love story. MGM let me. And

38:58

so I love MGM. Like I'll do

39:00

anything. Says a lot

39:03

of movies are radio plays with visual aids the way

39:05

television used to be. Rollerball

39:07

is entirely visual, completely different from anything

39:09

I've done before. You made Die Hard.

39:11

What are you talking about? All of

39:13

the quotes that JJ pulled up. The

39:15

fucking Black Box theater director. The temporary

39:17

and he keeps making these statements that

39:19

are incompatible with someone who has directed

39:22

Die Hard and Prez. He says that

39:24

we've counted the number of shots in

39:26

the film. Nearly nine thousand. Carhen's only

39:28

has four seventy. He says two things

39:30

about that. One Stanley Kubrick does long

39:32

takes. Everybody knows that. Two. Am

39:35

I supposed to be like excited that it

39:37

has nine thousand shots? No, it doesn't sound

39:39

good in terms of dollar per shot. These

39:44

shots are cheap. Also, here's a complaint I

39:46

have about this movie right off the dome.

39:48

Too many shots. Yeah, definitely would be my

39:50

first note. I found it disorienting and hard

39:53

to follow. I'm like, I'm launching

39:55

a new restaurant. Oh, OK, what's your vibe?

39:57

I'm like, so many restaurants.

40:00

50 menu items. I'm doing 5,000 right

40:02

off the bat. There will be like

40:05

30 second dialogue scenes in this

40:07

movie that I swear have 29

40:09

cuts and the cuts are between

40:11

angles that are 2 degrees off from each

40:14

other. Okay I feel

40:16

like it works for about the first 30

40:18

minutes. Look, I agree with you that for

40:20

the first 30 minutes I felt like I'm

40:22

like this is great. Yeah, but I am

40:24

following what's going on. I'm going okay I

40:27

kind of see what they're going for and then it go and

40:29

then I go oh They're not going

40:32

for what I thought they were going for basically

40:35

The broadcast is

40:37

great. That's the Best

40:40

idea. Yes, you know is like

40:42

this is pro wrestling plus roller

40:44

derby plus motorcycle graphics in

40:46

the aesthetics Yes Like

40:48

that was that was the only part of

40:51

the movie where they kept the original idea of like you're

40:53

getting those like Sponsored reads in the middle

40:55

of it like oh, this is a capitalism

40:57

thing. Mm-hmm that almost completely goes

41:00

away Like that specific

41:02

critique for the rest of the movie

41:05

Like McTiernan, I mean we're getting this but

41:07

like McTiernan being like you don't need to

41:10

set this in the future That's like a

41:12

distancing effect for the audience We're already close

41:14

enough to the society where this would happen

41:16

just set it in a country That's less

41:19

advanced than us in a way that feels

41:21

weirdly xenophobic. Oh, yeah. Yeah or Reductive.

41:24

Yeah. Yes. I mean, I

41:27

don't think I'll see if this

41:29

comes up I don't think McTiernan like went to Kazakhstan and

41:31

spent a month there being like, let me really soak it

41:33

up here Lawless

41:40

country that no one cares about with

41:42

basically his line of thinking which I

41:44

mean is also pretty much what led

41:46

Borat to be You know like Borat

41:49

is a hundred percent. I'm being like, let's

41:51

just find a country with a funny people

41:53

have no cultural Associations with this

41:55

place. It's just a name they vaguely heard

41:57

they'll believe anything we tell them We

42:01

need to introduce a figure who is important

42:03

as much as you're going to regret it.

42:05

Harry Knowles is very important at various

42:07

steps of the legacy of this movie. Obviously

42:10

this film is also being developed at the

42:12

peak of his power, of his influence over the

42:14

movie. You know who Harry Knowles is, obviously. I

42:16

know none of the context around this movie to

42:18

the point where when I told Gervin I wanted

42:20

to do it, then I texted him like two

42:22

days later going, Holy shit, I just

42:24

looked at the Wikipedia. I didn't know there was a prison

42:26

in the hall. You

42:28

were thinking like, oh, Rollerball, that's like a piece

42:31

of junk that we can have some fun chatting

42:33

about. Yeah, I just remember it was some crazy,

42:35

you know, over the top movie. And

42:38

the tech texted me, I just got to

42:40

the controversy section of the Wikipedia page. So

42:42

I also know nothing about what we're about

42:44

to learn here. If you think about it,

42:46

like 2000, post Phantom Menace, Harry Knowles is

42:48

king of the nerds on the internet 1.0.

42:52

98 and 99 are Batman and Robin

42:54

and Phantom Menace, which are the two

42:56

movies where studios start to step back

42:58

and going, is this guy actually having

43:01

an effect on the

43:03

reaction to these movies? Right. Is him like

43:05

badmouthing our scripts as he gets them linked,

43:08

badmouthing the movies when they come out, like

43:10

actually depressing interest in these films? Are people

43:12

actually looking for these kinds of bellwether? Now

43:14

the answer now, I could go and tell

43:16

them is, no, Phantom Menace was hugely successful

43:19

and Batman and Robin didn't do well because

43:21

it wasn't what the

43:23

culture wanted at the time. Like, you

43:25

know, I actually enjoy things about that

43:27

film, but, you know, it was not

43:29

meeting the culture, right? But he basically

43:31

was a one-man Twitter at that point,

43:33

where it was like the industry looking

43:35

online and being like, people are making

43:37

fun of us. But beyond that,

43:39

are we not in on the film? Are we

43:42

not in on the film? That's a sci-fi film.

43:44

That's where he's going to flex his power the

43:46

most. He was such a big, like, 70s genre

43:48

guy, and this is an era where things are

43:50

getting remade all the time, that I feel like

43:52

he was a guy where Blank Studios

43:55

announces remake of Blank starring Blank.

43:58

He would just do the all caps fuck you. don't

44:00

do this then would write a soliloquy

44:02

acting like rollerball was the greatest American film of

44:04

all time there was a lot of that shit

44:06

of him being like don't touch my class but

44:08

not with rollerball the thing is he get why

44:10

it's fascinating he gets his hand on the first

44:12

script for this remake written by David C Wilson

44:15

and that film was set in a post-apocalyptic

44:18

future that film was not doing what this

44:20

movie that script era where they're like there

44:22

will be potential remakes that

44:24

are floating around he'll get the script early

44:26

he will badmouth the script so hard on

44:28

his site that they're like hard reset back

44:30

to development movie canceled if he gives us

44:33

a bad review of the first draft we're

44:35

done he says in every

44:37

single facet the scripts are an

44:39

improvement on the original right and

44:41

I actually tried to hunt around for it I have

44:44

not been able to

44:51

find it it doesn't seem to be

44:53

viewable no it sounds like

44:55

a fairly hard sci-fi script that

44:57

yes it's set in this like

44:59

mega corporate like post you know

45:01

apocalyptic future there are no

45:04

books anymore everything is visual like

45:07

but it sounds cool it sounds

45:09

cool Mcchurnan comes on he's like

45:11

boring Kazakhstan yeah like genuinely yeah

45:13

right and then and then

45:15

they're like well who do you want like

45:18

for the leak like who's the modern-day James

45:20

Khan and his response is I think it

45:22

should be some goofy deeply uncool simpleton he

45:25

basically says he picks Chris Klein cuz

45:27

Chris Klein feels like Jimmy Stewart not

45:30

the guy who would be in an action

45:32

movie so you're just like wait a second

45:34

they hit him a script that's like hey

45:36

this is tailor-made for any of the great

45:38

current action stars and it's set in a

45:40

cool post-apocalyptic future a dystopia and he's just

45:42

like no foreign country he I mean Oz

45:44

from American like you said he's like do

45:47

you need to go in the future to

45:49

make it plausible that people get hurt some

45:51

of the others get rich nonsense all you

45:53

have to do is get it out of

45:55

North America Western Europe I

45:57

you know I understand like

46:01

Being like look these post-soviet republics like there

46:03

is a lot of like Gangster

46:06

is it like you can make a movie about

46:08

that if you really want to make a movie

46:10

about that If that's you can't just shortcut to

46:13

like Mad Max is happening over there essentially, which

46:15

is what they have done Yeah,

46:17

and also like You

46:20

know, it's very plausible that that would

46:22

be happening here. Yeah, so That's

46:25

the thing him saying like it's just not

46:28

in America I'm like cuz then this point

46:30

is like also the WWE and you're like

46:32

that's in America, right? And I

46:34

know that that's the day that I think is

46:36

rude for him to be like this could only

46:38

happen in a less developed country Yeah,

46:41

you lose a lot of the teeth of the

46:43

commentary by being like well, you know America's

46:46

immune to this like but yeah,

46:48

this thing is whatever Harry

46:51

Knowles is saying about this original

46:53

script had like commentary built-in this

46:55

film does not have comments apart

46:58

from like But

47:07

it's like rich guys will will do

47:09

anything to make a buck but like

47:11

that's about it Well, there was one

47:13

point that they really drove home. I'll

47:15

call it the nightcrawler effect Go

47:18

ahead where they have the live

47:20

global ratings number and they

47:22

don't say it out loud ever But if you're

47:24

you're a really nuanced to film monster You

47:27

will notice that when the violence

47:29

happens number goes up. It is but it's

47:31

what it's called like the global rating I

47:33

think that is global radio and it's literally

47:36

just like 20 and then something gets punches

47:38

like 21 Like

47:40

all right, it's like cigar and when they're

47:42

just playing like a really good game of

47:44

rollerball. It's that like seven Yeah,

47:47

so, you know, there's a little commentary

47:49

in there about they cut to that

47:52

appetite for violence. Yes They cut to

47:54

that ratings number so many times. I

47:56

like it. It's like it's whatever any

47:59

given Is a film that came

48:01

out like a couple years here That's a

48:03

movie that I feel like is trying to

48:05

thread this need a little bit right obviously

48:07

in a American context I I want

48:09

to I just want to get this out of the way a

48:12

movie that I feel successfully

48:14

achieves What this

48:16

movie is kind of trying to do and

48:18

it's also a remake of a beloved 70

48:21

genre movie I think

48:23

Paul W.S. Anderson's death race. Uh-huh

48:25

is very similar to this Where

48:28

it's like a pretty loose remake that goes

48:30

like prison states We

48:33

care so little for the incarcerated. We

48:35

force them to play like Mario

48:37

Kart with spikes Yes,

48:40

I mean and it's all about like,

48:42

you know, Joan Allen as the warden

48:44

slash mogul There's another kind

48:46

of get ratings beat racing film that

48:48

race Yeah, that is does this better

48:51

speed racer, right which is also basically

48:53

set in a dystopia just like a

48:55

colorful one I think there's something

48:57

to I mean talk about like, you know, it

48:59

may be being time to remake this movie again

49:02

there is a cross section in terms of

49:04

like real life issues of Like

49:07

a the like college sports

49:09

system, right? That

49:11

like modifies. Yes these young men and

49:14

especially football where it's like are we

49:16

pushing people into potentially life-affecting

49:19

injuries for the sake of like our own

49:22

Enjoyment and Jersey sales and whatever

49:24

and also I feel like there's

49:26

something in the idea of

49:28

remaking rollerball of like the

49:31

the Pipeline to the military

49:33

in the United States of like the only

49:35

way so many people in this country are

49:37

given any chance of freedom For their future

49:39

is like you got to do something really

49:41

barbaric and dangerous for a couple years And

49:43

if you survive it on the other end

49:45

you built a life for yourself There

49:48

there's something about shipping people off to

49:50

rollerball. Well, there's also a

49:52

version of remaking this one not

49:54

the original Yes, where the modern

49:56

conversation around sports washing and like

49:59

the Saudi wealth fund is like

50:01

buying up every American sports league and

50:03

all the Americans are going over there

50:05

and basically blending legitimacy to that effort.

50:08

It's like stuff that's weirdly in the

50:10

suit of this version that isn't in

50:12

the original that's almost ahead of

50:14

its time but the movie fucks up. There's

50:16

a Mcterney quote where he

50:19

says, this is from a movie line interview in August

50:21

2001. So this is when

50:23

I guess before the movie got pushed back when

50:25

he was promoting its original release. He

50:27

said, I might be so far out there on Rollerball

50:29

that this could be another time I get my head

50:31

handed to me. He was right in a sense. But

50:35

lack of failure is clear evidence of either

50:37

being an absolute genius or being a coward.

50:39

I know Rollerball is exciting for me. I

50:41

hope it's exciting for the audience and it

50:44

is enormously political. Someone

50:46

said recently this movie is about

50:48

your Hollywood bosses. Yeah,

50:51

look, in the

50:54

90s obviously he tussled with a lot of

50:56

CEOs. And I think with a lot of

50:58

big name stars because he also says like, best

51:01

thing about making a genre movie, you don't need

51:03

a $20 million guy. Genre sells

51:05

the movie. So I don't need

51:07

to knock on the door of a big star

51:09

like a Mel Gibson, whatever. Remakes where he's like

51:11

two movies where the IP is the star. Pierce

51:14

Brosnan is obviously a big deal and he's bonding someone

51:16

he's worked with. But

51:18

it's very different than working with an Arnold or

51:20

a Connery or someone like that. And he like

51:22

loves the fact that this movie he's like, I

51:24

can pluck a guy who's not. It's

51:27

funny though, but he's like, I can pluck this

51:29

Yokel to play this moron. Like Chris Klein's like

51:32

sitting there like, oh, okay. He's like this fucking

51:34

guy. You know how cheap he is? He's

51:36

saying these quotes while promoting this. He's paying

51:39

me to be in the movie basically.

51:42

Look, have you seen Say It Isn't

51:44

So? The other film that Chris Klein

51:46

did. I think he's good in that. You

51:48

are clearly the biggest Chris Klein fan

51:50

in the world. I think Chris Klein's

51:53

comedy career in its first wave was

51:55

pretty good. I think he has a

51:57

charming presence to him. Yeah. Give

52:00

you that yeah, there's there's something interesting

52:02

to him as a character type In

52:06

the right roles right where he is

52:08

so guileless He feels like

52:10

the type of guy you should hate this guy right here

52:13

what and Chris

52:16

Pines Instagram here's a picture of

52:19

him making what I guess you

52:21

would call a goofy face I Was

52:25

to get a laptop making a goofy

52:27

face the jerk would we call it

52:29

kind of the thing? I feel like

52:32

he seems guileless to this day Yeah,

52:34

guys right where it was like incredibly

52:36

like handsome corn fed sort of jockey

52:38

types where you're like god I fucking

52:40

hate this guy. This guy's probably such

52:42

an asshole. He's like hey, how's it

52:44

going? And you're like there's something disarming

52:46

about how nice and sort of

52:48

like clueless he seems to be There's

52:50

something very like puppy dog about him. He seems

52:52

lovely He's also in this room, you know, he

52:54

said he was 21 years old when

52:56

he made this movie He's like a group baby and

52:59

this is like he's like it was a hundred million

53:01

dollar project He's being directed by the director diehard and

53:03

predator I did my best the movie doesn't work who

53:05

wasn't for lack of effort on my part if

53:08

he's making an effort You don't really notice

53:10

it. But it's yes. He's it's

53:12

not really his quote-unquote fall No,

53:15

like election is kind of

53:17

famously Alexander Payne spotted

53:19

him when I think they were scouting the high

53:21

school and he's just brilliant in that but it's

53:23

like, you know You're like this like the natural

53:26

right? You're like, is this just the one Use

53:29

of this guy, right and then I think

53:31

the fact that he replicated a couple times

53:33

to lesser degrees He's terrible in American pie.

53:35

You keep acting like America. He's look I

53:37

think he's good in American pie one That's

53:39

in that is actually an opinion. You need

53:42

to think about you need to go and sit down and

53:44

think about it American okay,

53:46

so of the four the four boys

53:48

are him Jason Biggs Thomas Ian Nicholas

53:50

and Eddie K Thomas, right? Yes, cuz

53:52

stifflers kind of adjunct member. There's obviously

53:54

the biggest success of American price. Let's

53:56

set it in the first movie still

53:58

there's kind of a He's

54:00

an antagonist who slowly becomes a friend. Right,

54:02

and like any drinks come and runs into

54:05

a wall. You've seen American Pie. Yeah. Spoiler

54:08

for any of our listeners who haven't

54:10

seen American Pie, simpler drinks come and

54:12

walk into a wall. So if I'm

54:14

ranking the boys of American Pie, the

54:16

only thing I know is that Klein

54:18

is bottom. Finch, that's Eddie

54:20

K. Thomas, or is that Thomas the Iniculous? I

54:23

always pick those two up. Eddie K. Thomas is

54:25

Finch. He's the best. He's the best

54:27

one. He's the best one. Right. And then I

54:30

think Biggs is a comfy number two. And

54:32

I'm gonna... What, you think Klein over Thomas the

54:35

Iniculous? I'll give you that. What is blanket in

54:37

the world? Yeah, all right. You know what? All

54:39

right. Rookie of the Year goes bottom.

54:41

Because Klein in American Pie is the one of the group... Rookie

54:43

of the Year is the one that... He's

54:45

the one who tarot reads. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

54:48

Because his dilemmas are like... Biggs has no

54:50

girlfriend, masturbates into a sock, his dad won't

54:52

shut up about sex, he

54:54

fucks up pie. Yes. And

54:56

eventually he ends up with Valus and Hannigan.

54:59

Right. Right. In

55:01

the second move. But that's when they fall in love. He does

55:03

live in the third move. Klein is like the alpha jock

55:05

but no one wants to fuck him. I can't remember why.

55:08

What I kind of like about it. What's his

55:10

arc? Klein is like super jock football player

55:12

where you're like, why is he hanging out with these

55:15

nerds? But it's like he's such a

55:17

sweet guy, he doesn't think about social strata. He is

55:19

the one in the group who has had sex. No,

55:21

he hasn't. No, none of them have had sex. He

55:23

describes it like apple pie. The warm man. No, no,

55:25

he's talking about blow jobs when he says that. Griffin,

55:27

you clearly don't remember. Let's talk about blow jobs. Let's

55:29

talk about fingering. Whatever. Yes. He's

55:32

talking about sex sex. Stop fighting. He's talking about non- I wish I

55:34

had crap. He's talking about how the fuck I had no idea this

55:36

was going to come up. I rewatched this

55:38

movie like a year ago. In my memory, Chris

55:41

Klein has had sex and that's why. They're virgins! That's

55:43

the whole point of the movie. The point is that he

55:45

is not really part of it. At the end of the

55:47

movie, he is the one person who doesn't sleep with his

55:49

girlfriend. That is correct. What you are

55:51

construing here is that he is the one who actually

55:53

is like, I didn't do that. And

55:56

who cares? Like, that's what you're- I've always read that he has

55:58

had sex before and that's why Part of it

56:00

their whole pact is the four of them. They're all virgins.

56:02

Okay, we will Let's

56:05

start watching American pie right now. It's

56:07

going on the bracket talking any

56:10

K Thomas's Tara read Who's the

56:12

fourth? Oh and then no any K Thomas

56:14

sleeps with Jennifer Coolidge. Obviously the pretentious one

56:16

is mom. He's funny He's

56:18

got a flask. He's the best and then Thomas Ian

56:20

Nicholas is with Tara read, right? Like

56:24

you're just in a serious relationship like you're gonna have

56:26

a sec You don't need to be making any goofy

56:28

packs like the whole thing is that he's a jock

56:30

He's trying to make himself seem like more of a

56:32

nerd because mean a Savari is not into him Right,

56:34

so he has to join the chorus Right.

56:37

He sings. Yeah He's

56:46

I think we might also be right for

56:48

an American pie reboot. Yeah, we start from

56:50

the bottom and we are in us I

56:54

Guys we're a bunch of dudes that are

56:57

30s. Let's lose our virginity. I Will

57:00

never forget Spike Lee being like the guy

57:02

sticks his dick in a pie. That's a

57:04

movie like like some like interview The

57:07

other thing with that movie, this is why Thomas

57:09

Ian Nicholas's character one to be clear this almost

57:11

directed by blank checks Chris

57:14

white Chris white. Yeah, but I can

57:17

remember the other characters names. I can't even remember Thomas

57:19

Ian Nichols character Here

57:21

Oz Oz It's

57:23

William Jim, of course you have gypsies

57:25

that of course And

57:29

I forget what the other guys like the Sherman

57:32

aider Nadiya

57:35

nadiya. I'm happy to tell you

57:37

that Thomas Ian Nichols is characters

57:39

called Kevin. Oh What

57:42

a guy it's a clear case like caddy

57:44

shack where he was supposed to be the

57:46

lead of the movie He's the

57:48

normal guy Yeah,

57:53

and the whole thing

57:55

is that Casey F like hands him the book of love Casey

58:00

Affleck plays Kevin's brother who says

58:02

there's a book that I've hidden

58:04

that has all the secrets about

58:06

I have sex and the

58:08

second movie they call up Casey Affleck again in

58:10

Casey Affleck's like the secret is in the summer

58:12

After your first year of college. You have to

58:15

rent a house with Stifflin The

58:18

secret is your contract said you were obligated

58:20

to do this in an expanded role. He's

58:22

now second bill. Oh Boy,

58:26

he's clearly supposed to be like the audience

58:28

surrogate central meeting man normal guy Sure rookie

58:30

beer right and then everyone else pops in

58:32

that movie where he's just kind of the

58:34

boring guy in the movie and then They

58:36

don't bring Klein back for American wedding, which

58:38

I think is a combination of he had

58:41

gotten too big while also bombing He

58:44

was not worth the amount of money. It would have

58:46

cost to have him play the fourth guy When

58:49

also he was on a bad run What

58:55

a great noise Boy

58:59

hello, really David, you're not gonna say anything What

59:02

am I supposed to say? How healthy? Oh

59:05

you're glowing Well,

59:07

it took a while to get that out of

59:10

you. Why do you look so

59:12

healthy? Why am I glowing green? Yes

59:15

Bright green. I'll tell you why yeah, it's

59:17

because of the healthiest thing I do every

59:19

day and I want you on this journey with

59:21

me David, which is the journey. Here's the journey I

59:24

wake up We're

59:27

cutting past the part where I hit my snooze button

59:30

15 times, okay, I wake up Okay

59:44

I'm drinking field of green. Oh, it's the healthiest

59:46

thing you do every day. It is what I

59:48

said All

59:51

right, let's completely improve my life David.

59:53

It's nutrition the way that nature intended

59:55

It gives me more energy throughout the

59:57

day scummy sleeping better throughout the night

1:00:00

Healthier hair and skin helps with

1:00:02

digestion and boy no the Lord

1:00:04

knows I need help in that

1:00:06

the button Yeah,

1:00:09

yeah feels better feel better and healthier overall

1:00:11

What flavor do you go for and here

1:00:14

are some of the choices there's the original?

1:00:16

Yeah, then they've got wild berry strawberry

1:00:19

lemonade lemon lime yeah raw

1:00:21

if you like to live on the edge Charge

1:00:24

let me make it clear that original and raw

1:00:26

are two different things insight

1:00:30

Yeah, they got lots of different kinds of options I think in

1:00:32

sight one like you know is for like

1:00:34

helping to increase focus and charges for like You

1:00:36

know getting a little energy boost or whatever But

1:00:39

they've got lots of different options Each

1:00:42

organic fruit vegetable was medically chosen to

1:00:44

support health and vital organ health heart

1:00:46

and vital organ health Are

1:00:49

you gonna say it doesn't also Support

1:00:51

health vital health. Yeah, I'm

1:00:53

not wrong. I might be saying the same thing two times, but

1:00:55

it's not wrong David Look

1:00:59

me in the eyes. Yeah, can I make you a promise

1:01:01

a solemn promise? you

1:01:04

specifically are going

1:01:06

to love this product, but Here's

1:01:09

a huge qualifier. Yeah, if any

1:01:12

reason you don't yeah, feel the

1:01:14

greens gonna give you hundred percent money

1:01:16

back guarantee Okay, that sounds cool. Now.

1:01:18

Here's the twist. I extend the same

1:01:20

promise to all of our list That's

1:01:22

right a 100% money back guarantee and here's

1:01:25

the other thing hmm I got

1:01:27

you 15% off your first order and

1:01:29

free rush shipping such a kind of gift

1:01:31

Thank you so much You just have to

1:01:33

visit field of greens comm and use promo

1:01:35

code check that promo code check at field

1:01:37

of greens comm Sure field of

1:01:39

greens comm If

1:01:42

you scoop it they will drink is that is

1:01:45

that something I should have done if you scoop

1:01:47

it they will drink Yeah, you should have done

1:01:49

that instead of clearing your throat various times by

1:01:51

mimicking pouring water Maybe that's a spoiler for what's

1:01:53

coming and next ad read, but just quickly

1:01:55

if you don't mind, let me just do something We

1:02:06

should also shout out that of course this film has

1:02:08

L. Cool J in it. It does. Much

1:02:10

like Ice Cube who I was just

1:02:12

being mean about but is kind of similar to LL

1:02:15

Cool J where you're like, they're always

1:02:17

going to be fine. Those guys sort

1:02:19

of know how to behave somewhat charismatic.

1:02:21

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like Cool J is

1:02:23

always compelling. Like they don't usually get

1:02:25

much to do in any of these

1:02:27

movies. Like the rappers turned actors of

1:02:29

the 90s like but you know, but

1:02:31

like they're fine. Yeah.

1:02:33

Now he has nothing to do

1:02:35

with this film. Like really he's basically a come

1:02:38

to rollerball after this his work is done. I

1:02:40

was watching it assuming the twist was going to

1:02:42

be that he was in on it. Right.

1:02:45

Yeah. And he was setting Chris Clamp

1:02:47

for the fall and instead halfway through he's like, hey man

1:02:49

I got a heart out on this project. You the guy

1:02:51

who kind of. Can you help me in the tape so

1:02:53

I can move on to another line what's happening throughout. He's

1:02:56

like hey man. Have you noticed that

1:02:58

something's going on? But

1:03:01

also you look like those numbers go up

1:03:03

when we get punched. I cannot like I

1:03:05

just want to restate this movie opens with

1:03:07

extended street looging sequence that this article

1:03:10

I read said was much longer than the

1:03:12

original R rated cut cops are chasing him

1:03:14

you think they're going to swarm around him.

1:03:16

LL Cool J pulls up in a luxury

1:03:18

sports car opens the door. He's like hey

1:03:20

man get in pulls him in you're

1:03:22

like who is this guy? He's like hey man

1:03:24

I'm pitching it to you one last time you

1:03:26

should do a rollerball. He's like I don't know.

1:03:28

I don't know if I want to do rollerball.

1:03:31

He's like please do rollerball hard cut to Kazakhstan.

1:03:33

They're both playing rollerball. This all happens within like

1:03:35

five minutes where this movie isn't. This is

1:03:37

the other thing you imagine the part of

1:03:39

the setup in both versions that I said

1:03:41

the one where it's like this guy lives

1:03:43

for the edge. You want to do

1:03:45

the most dangerous sport in the world or the one where he wants

1:03:48

to make the NHL and it's like dude you're not going to

1:03:50

cut it. Your only option is to

1:03:52

play rollerball. In both cases you

1:03:54

imagine that scene starts with like hey

1:03:56

man I heard about something. It's

1:03:58

a little underground. It's a little underground. Sure, Yeah, yeah,

1:04:00

right right. You're not supposed to talk about

1:04:02

it, but right. And instead he's pitching. It's

1:04:05

a him like it's pickle ball. Yes,

1:04:07

You read this thing is on the verge of

1:04:10

breaking out. Probable I pitched to five times. a

1:04:12

you can accept at this time will yes I

1:04:14

guess I will. Dermis Lambeau. Yeah. It's

1:04:17

an era of people being like critically

1:04:19

plus up with Broward. a little bit

1:04:21

like the Tv road bike Tv version

1:04:23

yes exactly what the fuck is Lamboy

1:04:25

but was basketball with trampolines and sang

1:04:28

a paint. Okay, Yeah,

1:04:30

it did. Don't for stage was shit like

1:04:32

five. If you are super five seconds you

1:04:34

are like they've invented the perfect score. A

1:04:36

bit after five worse I give you a

1:04:38

job is done lots of the same. sort

1:04:40

of like roller gang could add a similar

1:04:42

arts and seven fraternity. or ever like Sfl

1:04:44

with the same thing where you were like

1:04:46

love this sounds like it could be really

1:04:48

cool and then ten minutes and it's Jack

1:04:50

Donaghy standing behind a monitor going shut It

1:04:52

down. The thing where you think it's a

1:04:54

good pitch in the second you watch it

1:04:56

actually happened when all the money's been spent.

1:04:58

Your like I. Failed to recognize the fatal

1:05:00

flaw if all of the floor a

1:05:03

sample his know wouldn't want. That

1:05:07

would set off a for it's just a

1:05:09

horse see a movie get out there six

1:05:11

Total dream but ah on the floor but

1:05:13

it's true that was restarted of it's Her

1:05:15

believes it's you know they be Was a

1:05:17

little bit of control of their bodies but

1:05:19

I don't bring up in the air with

1:05:21

another reason why Two Thousand Two is like

1:05:24

the perfect time for rollerball. Reason is this

1:05:26

era where everyone's like. It's been awhile since

1:05:28

there was a new sports. And the

1:05:30

future of sports is exploring extremists.

1:05:33

Were. You in extreme sports guy in the

1:05:35

oil thousand I was a x the he

1:05:37

gives viewers I was there. You. Know

1:05:39

you tell your heart I air yeah did

1:05:42

you ever do any that stuff is of

1:05:44

no no no same. No no,

1:05:46

I might vote no majority. hawk. I love

1:05:48

my bones. Or

1:05:51

third phone so I don't want a grip

1:05:53

on Sunday but it's dry them. Again

1:05:55

in his opening scene. yeah. I. Had

1:05:57

a brief vision of I. so I

1:05:59

did. I have no memory of the

1:06:01

movie from when I owned it and

1:06:04

I started just it's a bit off this because I

1:06:06

should have asked this question earlier Yes, you bought it

1:06:08

rather than rented it because of the R rated thing

1:06:10

which I felt prey to a bunch to you're the

1:06:12

right age You see there's an R rated cut of

1:06:14

a move by unrated cut you go. I'm probably

1:06:17

gonna see boobs, right? It's probably a grocery

1:06:19

store, you know, like yeah, things on the

1:06:21

character. So an error I mean, this is

1:06:23

why DVDs exploded is like they went way

1:06:26

down in price really quickly Where

1:06:28

suddenly it was worth it to just own

1:06:30

40 DVDs. Yes, but wait So

1:06:33

you have no memory. This is my follow-up question

1:06:35

Did you watch it a lot or did you watch

1:06:37

it one time and then go like now I shouldn't

1:06:39

have bought that put it on I think I watched

1:06:41

it once and just okay was like that wasn't my

1:06:44

favorite. Yeah Yeah, you had

1:06:46

14 year old. Yeah. Yeah. No, I have

1:06:48

definitely not seen it since well But

1:06:50

in watching that opening scene I was

1:06:53

like is this movie about to be good

1:06:55

and also is this movie about to be?

1:06:58

Fast and furious because I could

1:07:01

see a version of this movie where you slow

1:07:03

play it much more Yeah, you start with kind

1:07:05

of a a you know Indie

1:07:08

drama about this street long border

1:07:10

lonely falls into this world then

1:07:12

then we're cooking with get has

1:07:14

yet But they they really they

1:07:17

went for like fast five But in

1:07:19

the 20th minute of the first movie,

1:07:21

I mean this is jumping way ahead.

1:07:23

Oh Oh, no.

1:07:25

Well, we're gonna ruin the Really

1:07:28

stiff midsection of the film. This

1:07:30

was a movie that among other

1:07:32

legal issues Led

1:07:34

to a lawsuit between studios because they

1:07:36

tried to advertise it as from the

1:07:38

filmmakers that brought you fast and the

1:07:40

furious After this movie was pushed back.

1:07:43

It ended up coming out the year after fast and

1:07:45

furious even though it was Connected

1:07:47

to the fast and furious John

1:07:49

there wrote rollerball but only served

1:07:51

as an executive producer on fast

1:07:54

and furious in Response

1:07:56

to the ads Universal sued MGM and

1:07:58

federal court calling for reasons restraining order

1:08:00

that would remove the ads from

1:08:02

circulation. Relax guys. Come on, who

1:08:04

cares? But they were so badly

1:08:06

trying to make people think. Hey, it makes sense.

1:08:09

A movie that's made in a silo separate from

1:08:11

Fast and Furious, but after Fast and Furious, they're

1:08:13

like, this is the way people want the story

1:08:15

told. Now, this is my

1:08:17

second trailer-based lawsuit film covered

1:08:21

on blank check. And

1:08:23

that taste did finally settle? Yesterday?

1:08:26

We've done the episode.

1:08:29

I think the resolution was the judges like, go away.

1:08:31

Get our infamous heads, get their justice. Because

1:08:36

as I said, I've always been very pro the entity

1:08:39

army. Of

1:08:41

course, you don't want them on your bad side. Those

1:08:43

guys will sue you into oblivion. Yeah. Quote,

1:08:46

a self-inflicted injury. Judge

1:08:50

dismisses lawsuit claiming yesterday trailer tricked

1:08:52

on a dolomisense. A self-inflicted injury.

1:08:54

That's cold. He has thrown out

1:08:56

the five million dollar lawsuit. Right.

1:08:58

And now they tweet about him

1:09:00

every day and they're going to

1:09:02

like, you know, swat his house

1:09:04

or whatever. OK, we

1:09:06

should also mention this film features Rebecca

1:09:08

Romaine, who coming off of

1:09:10

X-Men, where she played Mystique and had

1:09:13

delivered one line. But is,

1:09:15

in my opinion, good in X-Men? I agree.

1:09:17

And it's very good in X-Two, where they

1:09:19

actually give her shit to do. I think

1:09:21

she's great in both of those movies. I

1:09:23

think she's better than Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique,

1:09:25

at least. I would agree with that. Like

1:09:27

Jennifer Lawrence is fine as like the hero.

1:09:29

Yes. Right. Well, they just morph that character

1:09:31

into such a weird thing in order to

1:09:33

suit the fact that they had America's biggest

1:09:35

movie star playing that role. Off of that,

1:09:38

she got Rollerball and Femme Fatale. Now

1:09:40

Femme Fatale is actually an awesome movie and

1:09:42

she's really good in it. But flopped really

1:09:44

hard. Big flop. This film is not awesome

1:09:46

and she's not as good in it, I

1:09:48

would say. Again, a tough

1:09:50

role. Tough role. Tough role. In

1:09:53

2002, I like all

1:09:55

four of these people, right? And my...

1:09:57

Sure. You mean including the John

1:09:59

Renown. Yeah, yeah in 2002. I'm like I

1:10:01

have seen all of these people in movies recently

1:10:04

where I enjoyed them I think that's also probably

1:10:06

why I bought it. I was like I love

1:10:08

LL Cool J I like Rebecca

1:10:10

reminds day, you know, I like you know, and then

1:10:12

yeah, I just I remember being I think you were

1:10:14

saying this David I remember being very excited for this

1:10:16

movie when it came out even though the buzz around

1:10:19

it was so bad I was excited

1:10:21

too because I was like that's a can't

1:10:23

miss I was like even the junkiest

1:10:25

version of this movie I will find entertaining And

1:10:27

I was also like, you know, what's a great

1:10:29

title rollerball? What's better than that? I like all

1:10:31

four of these people and other shit I don't

1:10:33

think I cared about that but I was just

1:10:35

kind of like John Mecurnan's remaking rollerball How bad

1:10:38

could it be and then the reviews were so

1:10:40

toxic that I was like I shouldn't go I

1:10:42

actually you've talked me out of it So I

1:10:45

probably was into this cast on paper you take

1:10:47

half a step back and you're like those four

1:10:49

people in the same movie Is not gonna work.

1:10:52

That's a bad combination Let me

1:10:55

now read from the dossier for a little bit

1:10:57

about the production of the film. Okay number one

1:10:59

calm. No, I'm Mecurnan Mecurnan's

1:11:01

first thing as it's coming out as he says

1:11:03

the film is decapitated the third act was supposed

1:11:05

to be Spartacus Yeah, they didn't let me shoot

1:11:07

They didn't let me shoot a big banding because

1:11:09

they you know at the end of the film

1:11:12

the uprising in this film is basically Just like

1:11:14

he roller skates into John Reynolds office and shoots

1:11:16

him right the end Which

1:11:19

just Cuz

1:11:24

in the original film that's what happens like the

1:11:27

whole point is That the

1:11:29

powers the beer like James Khan's getting too famous.

1:11:31

He'll will be able to control the audience, right?

1:11:33

We got to take him out Mecurnan

1:11:36

in 2023 Griffin, so

1:11:38

still doing interviews about this movie says

1:11:41

like Ford versus Ferrari, right?

1:11:43

I thought the movie that that's what

1:11:45

I wanted to do a movie,

1:11:47

you know a movie that's about racing

1:11:49

But it's really about business and about

1:11:51

the movie business, right and like about

1:11:53

this in our Ferrari episode But like

1:11:55

that that movie is this incredibly durable

1:11:57

metaphor for like being a filmmaker studio

1:12:00

system trying to

1:12:03

make above-average entertainment.

1:12:05

What's the line here? He says, a

1:12:07

film director is like the racing driver. He isn't the

1:12:09

one who makes the engine work or makes the car

1:12:11

go fast. It's a whole team of other people. But

1:12:13

somewhere in there, you need this madman who will try

1:12:16

to control the whole machine. It's something they say in

1:12:18

the movie several times every now and then, the driver

1:12:20

just doesn't make it out. You wish he

1:12:22

could. I'm pro a movie

1:12:24

like that. That's not present in this

1:12:26

film. Would you agree? I would agree.

1:12:30

But every now and then, the baller doesn't make

1:12:32

it out. But like you could apply that. Zach

1:12:34

has already identified the extent to which that's in

1:12:36

that film, which is there's a scream that has

1:12:38

a number on it. That's the only way

1:12:41

this film weighs in on it. And at

1:12:43

the end, Chris Klein rollerballs into Jon Renau's

1:12:45

face. And the

1:12:48

Vida enters his face. Yes. Yep. To

1:12:51

just jump to outcome stuff before we get

1:12:53

into the plot of the film, as it

1:12:55

were. We said, you

1:12:57

know, Harry Knowles reads the script is

1:12:59

like thumbs up. This is fucking good.

1:13:01

I'm excited. He's also like, it's McTiernan.

1:13:03

Yeah. This will probably with

1:13:05

this script in McTiernan, this should work. Right.

1:13:08

They fly Harry Knowles out to a test screening.

1:13:10

This is the era where the studios are trying

1:13:12

to court him knowing

1:13:15

that like, if he doesn't like

1:13:17

it, he's going to write about it. But

1:13:19

the other thing in this era is like,

1:13:21

Sony flies him out for the Godzilla premiere

1:13:23

at mass in Square Garden. And

1:13:26

he's like, this movie rules. It was the best

1:13:28

night of my life. The things that triumph the

1:13:30

audience was losing their minds. Then the movie

1:13:32

comes out, people dislike it. A

1:13:34

week or two later, he goes pays to go

1:13:36

see it at a mall, writes a second review,

1:13:39

and is like, I was wrong. The studio kind

1:13:41

of like buttered me up. They got

1:13:43

me in the spirit of the thing. I was

1:13:45

swayed. So Harry Knowles already in this zone where

1:13:47

the studios are like, we might

1:13:49

be able to curry favor with him enough that

1:13:52

he'll give us an easy pass on anything. And

1:13:54

his audience is starting to question

1:13:57

his reliability. They fly him out to give him

1:14:00

VIP treatment. I think they put him up at a

1:14:02

nice hotel. He writes about all this shit in his

1:14:04

piece because he's a great journalist And

1:14:06

then he's like this movie sucks so fucking

1:14:08

hard I sat next to McTiernan and everyone

1:14:10

was nice to me. They paid my travel.

1:14:12

This thing is dog shit This movie has

1:14:14

two good things going for it. It has

1:14:16

tits and blood Everything else

1:14:18

in it is a fucking disaster and

1:14:20

MGM's responses. We should cut the tits

1:14:22

and the blood out He's

1:14:25

just doomed this movie with his negative review

1:14:27

We should make it a PG-13 so

1:14:29

it at least can appeal to younger children So

1:14:32

they immediately say like this review doesn't even

1:14:34

apply anymore Yeah you can't even and then we

1:14:36

can sell the R rated DVD to Zach

1:14:38

at a Supermarket a year from

1:14:40

now and make the money back called it

1:14:42

the worst conceived series of nonsense collection ever

1:14:45

seen McTiernan it is

1:14:47

so funny to imagine McTiernan

1:14:49

this like grizzled grumpy Juilliard

1:14:51

graduate Seeing next to fucking

1:14:53

Harry Knowles like at the height

1:14:55

of his little nerd king, you know Like

1:14:57

like what do you think and knowles is

1:14:59

like, you know, like what

1:15:01

a weird moment in pop culture now

1:15:05

Internally clear Harry Knowles is like a

1:15:07

bad dude. Like yes As

1:15:09

much has been written about With

1:15:12

bad taste cool. That's also a bad

1:15:15

writer But this because he's so

1:15:17

in the crosshairs and this is also I think

1:15:19

around this time Revolution Studios

1:15:21

announces like a three-picture development deal

1:15:24

with Harry Knowles That was

1:15:26

the first time a studio was like, well, why

1:15:28

don't you like you consult on other films? Why

1:15:30

don't we let you develop your own projects because

1:15:32

you seem to know what Hollywood should be doing

1:15:34

and the thought was oh They're paying him and

1:15:36

now he's not gonna give any revolution movie a

1:15:38

bad review. So his like Honesty

1:15:40

is very much in question. And when

1:15:42

he attacks this movie McTiernan

1:15:45

the studio all say like he's doing

1:15:47

this just to prove that he can't

1:15:49

be bought. He doesn't actually hate it

1:15:52

We think this movie tries to do the double

1:15:54

negative and it's you know, you made a shitty

1:15:56

movie the other sign Obviously apart

1:15:58

from the fact that yes, they really recut it to

1:16:00

get a PG-13, they delayed the release, all

1:16:02

this stuff, is that there

1:16:05

was this issue, and we can discuss this

1:16:07

more on our basic episode as well, that

1:16:10

McTernan hired private investigator Anthony Palakano

1:16:12

to conduct an illegal wiretap on

1:16:14

the producer of the film. Yes.

1:16:18

So that's simply a sign of like behind

1:16:20

the scenes drama. There's a little bit of

1:16:22

an interesting narrative. One could argue more interesting

1:16:24

than the film itself, where he was convinced

1:16:26

that the big corporate powers of the entertainment

1:16:28

industry were trying to ruin his movie. But

1:16:30

I think you have to factor that in

1:16:33

when you watch, that's the meta movie. It

1:16:35

is. When you watch the movie,

1:16:37

you know, he was just on theme about corporate

1:16:39

power. We've got to get inside

1:16:41

every fucking tunnel. They're

1:16:44

all, they're trying to mess with me. The

1:16:46

numbers go up and down, am I right?

1:16:48

This is the movie that happened on. It's

1:16:51

so crazy. I mean, we there's

1:16:54

this big conversation between Palakano

1:16:56

and McTernan, that is what brings McTernan down,

1:16:58

correct? Like there's some wiretap. There's like a

1:17:01

20 minute phone call that I believe they

1:17:03

played in its entirety in court. By

1:17:06

the way, we're doing an entire Patreon episode

1:17:08

on Palakano. We're doing an episode on Sin

1:17:10

Eater, the Crimes of Anthony Palakano, the documentary.

1:17:12

And that will be the episode because we're

1:17:14

obviously touching upon it here. We'll touch upon

1:17:16

it on basic. It's too big a story

1:17:19

to fit into episodes on the movies themselves.

1:17:21

Especially when we have to talk about Rollerball.

1:17:23

We have to talk about Rollerball. So

1:17:25

you got to go into enemy

1:17:27

territory, then up through the tunnel.

1:17:30

Yeah. Then down.

1:17:32

Yeah. Then around

1:17:34

again. And then you throw the ball into the gong

1:17:36

thing. And I remember he specifically says you have to

1:17:38

throw it hard enough that it sets off the pyrotechnic.

1:17:41

You got to make sparks. Never an issue. Then

1:17:43

no one ever just like lightly touches it and doesn't score.

1:17:46

You can't just go like this. You got

1:17:48

to go, whoa. We wouldn't know if you

1:17:50

could. It's a hard cut from LL Cool

1:17:52

J going, come on man, do a little

1:17:54

Rollerball and Chris Klein going fine to Kazakhstan,

1:17:57

Chris Klein in the ring. I

1:17:59

don't know if he's been. playing for five years

1:18:01

if this is his third game, but

1:18:03

he seems to already be a superstar. The

1:18:06

thing is about 40 minutes later, he's

1:18:08

called the most famous role baller ever.

1:18:10

So when they try to immediately like

1:18:13

set up like, you know, this long

1:18:15

standing rivalry he has with evil scarface

1:18:17

lady, everyone thinks they hate each other.

1:18:19

I'm like, I'm not getting any of

1:18:21

this, but he

1:18:24

within the first game you see him play

1:18:27

his friend. What's his friend's name again? Toba.

1:18:30

Toba. His friend's helmet

1:18:32

comes off and while he's

1:18:34

scrambling looking for his helmet trying to get

1:18:36

it back on, he's like fucking

1:18:38

murked. He gets, he

1:18:40

gets a ball to that dome. Basically.

1:18:42

Why was Toba on the team? Toba

1:18:45

seems bad at rollerball. We are already

1:18:47

in trouble here. I feel like I

1:18:49

know, like I don't even know what

1:18:51

little positions are like roller skates

1:18:54

or motorcycle. Right? Like

1:18:56

if you know a little bit about murder, a little derby. There's,

1:19:00

you know, yes, exactly. So I think

1:19:02

he's playing that type of position like

1:19:04

he couldn't barely skate. Correct. That

1:19:07

is the problem with Toba. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1:19:11

Pretty big too. As soon as his

1:19:13

helmet came off, he started doing almost

1:19:15

like, you know, in, in like

1:19:18

paid ads where someone shows that you

1:19:20

can't use a thing. Yes. Like

1:19:22

it was like he was paid to prove that

1:19:25

roller skating is impossible. You and he gets exactly.

1:19:28

Like the arm goes around. Covered

1:19:30

in orange. Let's be

1:19:32

generous here. Toba is, I think, fine athlete.

1:19:34

He just has one Achilles heel, which is

1:19:37

being terrible at rollerball. It's his

1:19:39

only problem. It's like when there's the NBA

1:19:41

draft and they're like, this guy has got

1:19:43

the whole package. Can't dribble. He can't dribble?

1:19:45

Is Toba going to teach him? Yeah.

1:19:48

He's fucking 20 years old. He's

1:19:51

got, you know, explosiveness. Can't dribble.

1:19:53

Can't shoot. Yeah. He

1:19:56

has not heard of basketball. He's

1:19:58

a bruiser. Like, you know. We've got all

1:20:00

the tools. Like, I guess that's totally- The

1:20:03

only thing we see him do is lose

1:20:05

a fight. Yeah, that's true. I mean, he

1:20:07

gets sucker-smacked, but like- The object

1:20:09

of the game is to throw the ball at

1:20:12

the gong. Yes. But

1:20:14

if they get the ball through the tuba,

1:20:16

but they're two tubas? No, you have to-

1:20:18

you have to go through that to be

1:20:20

like in scoring mode. Okay. If

1:20:22

that makes sense. That's like the Super Mario star.

1:20:25

I don't know how- That makes you powerful enough to score.

1:20:27

Right. And that's why it keeps track

1:20:29

of that on like television. Yeah. Because

1:20:31

like in Roller Derby, the Jammer has a star

1:20:33

on their helmet. And so you're like, that's the

1:20:35

Jammer. I get it. Like, that's

1:20:37

the one. But in this, it's

1:20:40

chaos. Like, and they also

1:20:42

like- they kind of have uniforms, but they're

1:20:44

all basically just like in black leather and

1:20:46

red plastic. These sequences are incoherent

1:20:49

visually. Which I love. I

1:20:52

kind of love. I'm new. I'm not kidding. I

1:20:55

love. No, because- Because the characters are

1:20:57

incredible. Yeah. You have your-

1:20:59

every team has seems to have some sort

1:21:01

of mask costume character. Yeah. Like

1:21:03

total. Person. And

1:21:05

once he said the rules are in Russian,

1:21:07

we're not going to get into it. I was like,

1:21:09

oh, okay. So I'm not supposed to understand this. I'm

1:21:11

just like- You are correct. Cool. Motorcycles.

1:21:14

And there was one point where someone picked up their

1:21:17

friend and used them to knock a guy off a

1:21:19

motorcycle. That stuff I was into. If

1:21:21

I were- We're like- We're

1:21:23

an extra. A background actor on the

1:21:25

production of Rollerball and I was playing

1:21:27

an audience member in

1:21:29

the stands of the Rollerball Arena. Yeah.

1:21:32

And I was watching all of this play out. I

1:21:34

think I would be entertained. I'm not even

1:21:36

saying in the world of the movie. I'm

1:21:39

saying if I were watching these stunt performers

1:21:41

do these routines from my own views. Sure.

1:21:43

I think I would be entertained. When I

1:21:46

tried to argue for

1:21:48

the strength of John McTiernan at his best

1:21:50

as a filmmaker, what made him such a

1:21:53

transcendent action filmmaker, I felt the two things

1:21:55

that everyone goes to are unbelievable

1:21:57

sense of visual geography. Yeah. Action

1:22:00

sequences are so coherent, yeah. An incredible

1:22:02

juggling of ensemble cast, right? Where you

1:22:04

have like Predator in the jungle and

1:22:07

you're constantly keeping track of where everyone

1:22:09

is in relation to every tree. Or

1:22:12

Die Hard, which is dealing with multiple

1:22:14

floors of a building and the circuses

1:22:16

of people outside on the street and

1:22:18

the cops and the helicopter. You constantly

1:22:21

know where everyone is, you're constantly keeping

1:22:23

track of what everyone's doing, and then

1:22:25

you're just like on paper, yes. John

1:22:27

McTuren doing rollerball sequences should be unbelievable.

1:22:30

This is the 75 roller ball arena. It

1:22:32

almost all plays out in Master Shop. That

1:22:34

looks good. That's too easy. To

1:22:37

be clear, it's a circle. It looks

1:22:39

like a roller derby. Here is

1:22:41

the fucking rollerball court. Yeah. But

1:22:43

like Zach, I agree with you, where like

1:22:46

I like the WWE being like funneled into

1:22:48

this. I like the costumes, I like the

1:22:50

personas, I like the music. I love more

1:22:52

of that. I wanted more of like who

1:22:54

are the costume guys. I literally would have

1:22:57

enjoyed a two hour feed of

1:22:59

a roller ball game with no plot. You're

1:23:02

sitting next to John Renau. He

1:23:04

can occasionally basically tell you stuff. But once the

1:23:07

plot kicked in is when I started to be

1:23:09

like, huh, but beyond me not understanding

1:23:11

the rules of the game and the

1:23:13

universe of the movie, I think the

1:23:15

way this is shot and edited, I

1:23:17

cannot figure out what is happening in

1:23:19

any single frame of this. Oh yeah.

1:23:22

It does not at any point seem like the

1:23:24

teammates are working together. They're

1:23:27

all sort of cool days

1:23:29

just on a motorcycle. Chris

1:23:31

Klein gets the ball throws it at the thing, but yeah,

1:23:33

I don't see how anyone's helping him really. No, I

1:23:36

don't see how the motorcycles are riding around

1:23:38

each other and not crashing into each other. Well,

1:23:40

it's such a tiny little ring. It's

1:23:43

very small. They're very talented actually. Both

1:23:45

of these, that's what it is. Also

1:23:47

have the plot twist of like, and

1:23:49

now they're like no rules and the referee.

1:23:51

And I'm like, there were rules before? There

1:23:54

was a ref? Like, sorry, what? They

1:23:57

undercut that moment by having no coherent

1:23:59

rules. Look now it's anything

1:24:01

goes that it seems to be anything goes

1:24:03

from minutes zero in this movie spatially incoherent

1:24:05

when it mostly takes Place in a circle

1:24:08

in a small circle.

1:24:10

Yes Well, that's

1:24:12

the beauty of the ball You

1:24:15

know what that's the beauty of the ball you

1:24:17

got to get your ass the Kazakh state You

1:24:19

haven't seen rollerball until you've been there you gotta

1:24:21

be there You know you've been there with like

1:24:23

a shift from the mind Right some kind of

1:24:25

like aluminum tycoon is next to you lighting cigars

1:24:28

with a hundred dollar bill Yeah, halls great. They

1:24:30

got a fuku Yeah,

1:24:32

right nuts the other thing they really upgraded

1:24:34

on that front. They got a shake. They

1:24:36

have a shake shack The

1:24:38

film it's these four people we've mentioned with

1:24:40

you John Renau. Obviously is the evil bond

1:24:43

villain parents ever

1:24:45

put Naveen Andrews coming off of

1:24:47

the English patient and such is

1:24:49

his like smarmy assistant I'm

1:24:53

always in favor of him. I always like

1:24:55

him, but I'm watching this movie take down

1:24:58

people I usually find entertaining left and right

1:25:01

and the V in every time it comes

1:25:03

on screen I'm like I'm watching a vaguely

1:25:05

legitimate movie for these 15 seconds. He has

1:25:07

a clear like type to play Yeah, you

1:25:09

know like yeah, he is playing his

1:25:11

role so well It is not complicated, but at

1:25:13

the end when he gives his like well,

1:25:16

you don't attack the head you always have to take there

1:25:18

I'm like, yeah, this is like the shitty version of this

1:25:20

movie. I wanted to see when I was 13 Sure,

1:25:23

so we easily aid the grimo

1:25:25

worm tongue to genre

1:25:27

knows Jacqueline businessman or whatever

1:25:29

his name is Everyone

1:25:31

else in the film is basically

1:25:34

like a stuntman a you know

1:25:36

Hungarian kickboxer there's

1:25:39

Andrew Brinyarski.

1:25:41

Oh is one of the

1:25:43

big dudes who of course played leather face and In

1:25:47

the Texas Chainsaw remakes and Zangief in the

1:25:49

Street Fighter and the original Street Fighter Of

1:25:51

course is the man who said cancer is

1:25:53

worse than haters suck my nuts Yeah,

1:25:56

we we you've literally in the higher learning

1:25:58

episode. He got in a few with

1:26:00

the original Leatherface kind of hard. Over

1:26:02

whether cancer was worse than haters or

1:26:05

not? I guess, it

1:26:07

was, oh, sorry, it was when Gunnar

1:26:09

Hansen, the original Leatherface, died of cancer,

1:26:12

he said boo. Boo? Okay.

1:26:16

And when a fan yelled at him, he was

1:26:18

like, could give zero fucks, suck his dead nuts.

1:26:21

Okay. Well, he basically- And he was

1:26:24

mad because they had feuded, I guess, I see.

1:26:26

I believe the background was that he

1:26:28

was still taking pot shots at Gunnar

1:26:30

and Elkin after he died. And then

1:26:32

earlier I said, I agree. I

1:26:37

think his defense was, why are you getting

1:26:39

mad at me? Cancer is worse than haters.

1:26:41

Okay, okay. Right, which was maybe right on

1:26:43

the front. But he

1:26:45

was maybe wrong. And then you do have Paul

1:26:47

Heyman, who is a well-known WWE

1:26:50

figure. I feel like one of the

1:26:52

most beloved managers in the history of-

1:26:54

And probably the best cast role in the

1:26:56

film. Yeah, it's great. And he did

1:26:58

right there. Yes. And

1:27:01

that's an important job. Yeah. Now- He

1:27:04

maybe has the most dialogue of anyone in the movie.

1:27:06

Now, could he have done a better job explaining what

1:27:08

was going on? Maybe. But that's on the third. I

1:27:10

don't know. Not on the performer. Yeah. You've

1:27:13

also got Janet Wright, who's a British

1:27:15

actress as Coach Olga, who's ever

1:27:18

present in the film. I never really even knew if

1:27:20

she was Chris Klein's coach or not. No, couldn't figure

1:27:22

it out. But she's always there. Yes. Going

1:27:25

like, ah! Yeah, a couple kind of

1:27:27

vocalizations. A lot of that.

1:27:30

Now, we haven't talked about- So, they do rollerball

1:27:32

for a bit, and then they start to realize,

1:27:34

huh, some of these accidents seem to be staged

1:27:36

or whatever. I did while watching the movie. I

1:27:38

kept turning to my wife and saying, I think

1:27:41

something's afoot. Because there were so many- You

1:27:43

made your wife watch this. No, okay. She was

1:27:45

into it. And for the first 30 minutes, we

1:27:47

were both like, this is kind of fun. And

1:27:49

we had looked it up and been like, oh,

1:27:51

this is one of the worst reviewed movies ever.

1:27:54

And we were both like, I don't know, we're enjoying it.

1:27:56

And then she did not finish it. My wife was begging

1:27:58

me to watch Rollerball. I didn't even want- to watch

1:28:00

it she signed up then there is

1:28:02

a sequence where they

1:28:04

decide a Aurora Rebecca

1:28:07

remains character like the most kills sure I want to

1:28:09

go to both fucks are

1:28:12

you backtracking we're forward tracking because they would

1:28:15

they fucking review the tape and I realized

1:28:17

the cameras were already in place someone

1:28:19

cut his strap on his helmet the death

1:28:21

was orchestrated to boost the ratings to make

1:28:23

it go from a 20 to a 20

1:28:25

we know he dies or I delete wheels

1:28:28

off in a bloody math yeah not with

1:28:30

them for the rest of the season doesn't

1:28:32

come back going I feel great

1:28:34

yeah they they decide they

1:28:36

need to flee the country the sequence

1:28:38

plays out in night

1:28:40

this is one of the more baffling sections of

1:28:42

all of cool days like I know I staked

1:28:45

our friendship on you coming and playing rollerball with

1:28:47

me but we gotta stop playing rollerball right now

1:28:49

so I was not prepared I

1:28:51

had not seen this film switch the lights

1:28:53

off for this part of the podcast yeah

1:28:55

let's do night vision record let's also say

1:28:57

that at this point we've also had Chris

1:28:59

Klein goes into you see like

1:29:01

a very kind of Starship Troopers RoboCop

1:29:03

for a hovin ask oh the

1:29:06

men and women share the locker rooms and

1:29:08

there's casual nudity right as we're saying in

1:29:10

the star-rated version of Starship Troopers vibe and

1:29:12

then he goes into like the back room

1:29:14

where fucking Rebecca

1:29:16

Romain is pump an iron shirtless sure we're

1:29:18

just talking about the boobs okay yes they've

1:29:20

been trying to set up that they're like

1:29:22

rivals within the league and then he comes

1:29:24

up behind her they immediately start doing it

1:29:26

in a steam room they do do it

1:29:28

in the steam room and he's like you

1:29:30

got to get me to a bed sometime

1:29:32

yeah she's like all in good time I'm

1:29:34

French they also earlier

1:29:38

they set up another character on the team

1:29:40

was like hey I want to hook up

1:29:42

with her and Chris Klein was like I

1:29:45

think she's playing for the other team right

1:29:47

because they're hiding their relationship for some reason

1:29:49

I don't know there's also a

1:29:52

story right yeah that in the green sport

1:29:55

of there's like a Broadway Phantom of the

1:29:57

Opera thing where she's like I'm so disgusting

1:30:00

Oh, well, I'm a phone guy because she has

1:30:02

a scar on her face and this is also

1:30:05

there in the press Yeah, they love to do

1:30:07

this. Yeah, we're maturing. It's like yeah, I gave

1:30:09

her a scar and Rebecca Like she really reacted

1:30:11

to how she was treated differently formed I got

1:30:13

a beautiful woman so she has a scar people

1:30:15

are throwing exit around the street I'm like three-quarters

1:30:18

of an inch you never see it because she's

1:30:20

always wearing a helmet, right? It's like it's like

1:30:22

the fucking Broadway Phantom where it's like she's got

1:30:24

one scar Who would

1:30:26

tell right and he's like I noticed the

1:30:28

way you always tilt your head to the right

1:30:31

your shame to be seen Yeah

1:30:34

but no, yeah, he was like She

1:30:37

didn't want to hide her looks and I

1:30:40

was insisted that we put a scar on

1:30:42

her because I had to transform her as

1:30:44

an Actress I had to get that bikini

1:30:46

beach bunny out of her system He wants

1:30:48

to credit himself for like this Transformative

1:30:51

performance where he unlocked an actor that no one

1:30:53

saw there when she had been good and stuff

1:30:55

up until this point Let's also acknowledge Austin Powers

1:30:57

to its by her shagening and which she plays

1:30:59

herself She does like a woman who Austin does

1:31:02

not want to have sex with no. Well, he's

1:31:04

too busy with them I've on a hump

1:31:06

a lot. Yeah, that's seen but then yeah,

1:31:08

he was like she liked the scar so much She

1:31:10

would wear it out to the clubs at night. So

1:31:13

they fuck and she's ashamed by how

1:31:15

she looks and then You

1:31:18

know she said that they have their thing Ella

1:31:20

Colgate comes to him says you got to help

1:31:22

me escape tonight now Sorry, not to back but

1:31:24

there's one other thing we've missed for

1:31:26

some reason there is about Five

1:31:29

to ten references to whether or not Chris

1:31:32

Klein is wearing his spine protector Which

1:31:35

I believe that came up a few times Like

1:31:39

you need to wear that there are

1:31:41

motorcycles on the arena floor and he

1:31:43

says they can't hurt me They can't

1:31:45

catch me But

1:31:48

then he does wear it But then I

1:31:50

don't know but I think spine protector is maybe

1:31:52

the only sci-fi element of I would have Looks

1:31:55

like you know, whatever

1:31:58

like a giant shin guard. Yeah Like

1:32:00

that he's kind of like loosely strapping to

1:32:02

his back or whatever. But it protects the

1:32:04

spine, you know You gotta protect your spine.

1:32:06

It's a right and then I don't

1:32:09

think it really is ever relevant whether he's wearing

1:32:11

it or not No, this is a classic movie

1:32:13

that sets up things where you're like, oh, wow

1:32:15

They're really telegraphing that hard and then you're like,

1:32:18

oh no, they weren't right There's no moment where

1:32:20

he is like Tim Riggan or not Tim Riggins.

1:32:22

Who's the guy Jason Street? Yeah There's

1:32:25

no moment where he's like, I wish

1:32:27

I had that spine protector I like

1:32:29

never really fact one thing pays off

1:32:31

beautifully, which is that eventually Roika remain

1:32:33

a sense to Bringing

1:32:35

Chris Klein to a bed. Yeah, and that's the

1:32:37

moment of the movie where Right

1:32:40

freeze frame on turn is staring at Harry Knowles

1:32:42

being like, why aren't you whooping and cheering at

1:32:44

the bed line? Yeah Look

1:32:47

the night vision sequence. Yeah, I Had

1:32:50

at this point begun to disassociate. Yes

1:32:52

this is where I started to fully

1:32:54

check out and then this sequence plays

1:32:57

out now on Wikipedia a citation

1:32:59

needed paragraph says that truly they had

1:33:01

just underlit this

1:33:03

scene and Then didn't

1:33:05

have like the time to reshoot it because

1:33:08

it's a big complicated action sequence So instead

1:33:10

they were like, let's throw a night vision

1:33:12

tint on it. I don't think that's true

1:33:14

I don't it I don't think

1:33:16

it is either because that sounds fucking ridiculous

1:33:19

But also it feels like a choice

1:33:21

the camera placement in this sequence it's

1:33:23

like they are dashboard Security,

1:33:26

right? Like it's all it's not just that's in

1:33:28

night vision. It is filmed as if it's like

1:33:30

stolen footage I will say this I think it's

1:33:32

the one thing in the movie that is interesting

1:33:34

and somewhat audacious You gave this movie half a

1:33:36

star on letter by give it one and a

1:33:38

half You give it one and a half and

1:33:41

your your long live an extra star for them.

1:33:43

I'm wow I'm I

1:33:45

give it one star for night vision. I think this

1:33:47

is a half-star movie without the night vision I'm taking

1:33:49

a star away for the night vision, but you were

1:33:51

starting at five Because

1:33:55

I you want to talk about a scene where

1:33:57

I couldn't understand what was happening like, you know

1:34:00

So that's my note. I don't

1:34:02

know what's happening. Hello cool J

1:34:04

dies in this sequence I did

1:34:06

not really realize exactly you depicted

1:34:09

from a distance It's like

1:34:11

my mom watching force awakens where I'm like, he's just

1:34:13

really not in the second half this movie His mom

1:34:15

famously went to the bathroom when Kylo Renko on solo

1:34:17

And then she was like, it's weird that they just

1:34:19

don't have Harrison Ford do anything in the last He's

1:34:25

not even in the final scene when

1:34:27

everyone Think about it. What was that

1:34:29

weird emotional hug that Leia did? It's

1:34:32

not defensible In

1:34:34

terms of making a commercial film that makes sense

1:34:36

to people. Yeah, it is just

1:34:38

unusual Yes, I agree. And so I

1:34:41

was kind of like like

1:34:43

you said like this is a choice.

1:34:45

That's my thing I'm like none of

1:34:47

the action sequences are visually coherent. This

1:34:49

one feels almost intentionally abstract It

1:34:52

actually has the most like appropriate feeling

1:34:55

of like we are in a Sort

1:34:58

of like semi lawless state Yeah, like

1:35:00

you know Like forgetting the

1:35:02

whole like did John Mclurney even like Google

1:35:04

Kazakhstan before he made this movie Like

1:35:08

you at least you're kind of like damn

1:35:10

like it really does feel like they're like

1:35:12

being smuggled out of somewhere We the series

1:35:14

7 the contenders, of course, right where it's

1:35:17

like a brutal sort of like to the

1:35:19

death reality show And it's filmed as if

1:35:21

it's like kind of hidden camera. It's like

1:35:24

a DV early Big Brother style It's like

1:35:26

weirdly. This is the one sequence action sequence

1:35:28

in the movie that is not supposed to

1:35:30

be televised And yet

1:35:32

it's filmed as if it's like stolen

1:35:35

from multi-camera setup well

1:35:37

televised but He does

1:35:39

die in this sequence and no one ever really acknowledges it

1:35:41

or even seems that upset about

1:35:44

it No, and once again, I'm like at this

1:35:46

point the movie I'm like the reveal is gonna

1:35:48

be that LL Cool J's in on it and

1:35:50

he set up Chris Klein because they also start

1:35:52

saying like There's a drama no has some

1:35:54

line at the beginning and this is sort of why McTiernan

1:35:57

wanted to cast a Chris Klein type is

1:36:00

he's in the boardroom with all the other fat cats

1:36:02

and they're like, this guy's good. And

1:36:04

they're like, he has no idea how

1:36:06

angry we're supposed, we're about to make

1:36:08

him or something like that. Like Jean

1:36:11

Renau's into the arc of corrupting this

1:36:13

like, goody two shoes, all American boy,

1:36:15

right? But he's like, we're gonna break

1:36:17

him and make him violent. There was

1:36:19

something interesting to the sort of American

1:36:22

obliviousness. Like, you could have gotten into

1:36:24

that in the movie of like

1:36:26

these two Americans show up and they're just

1:36:28

like, Yeah, this is pretty sweet. Like, you

1:36:30

know, it's like a hostile type thing going on

1:36:32

there. But yes, it feels like especially

1:36:34

for how magically LL Cool J just appears,

1:36:36

pulls him into a car and says, hey,

1:36:38

join me over in Kazakhstan. You're like, is

1:36:40

LL Cool J getting money to like recruit

1:36:42

other people? Like in this game kind of

1:36:44

situation. Right. There at least, right. The some

1:36:47

reveal of like, yeah, he got a fat

1:36:49

bonus because he brought over Chris Klein. Instead,

1:36:51

it's just like he seems to just genuinely

1:36:53

think like, this is a great professional opportunity.

1:36:56

And then on a dime one day, he's like, I need to get out

1:36:58

now. I

1:37:02

will. Bill Simmons, the

1:37:04

famed podcast mogul back in the day was just

1:37:06

a sports columnist. Roll the ball is one of his

1:37:08

favorite movies, the original. Not. Yes. And

1:37:10

he wrote a column about this film and over the

1:37:12

night vision sequence, he said, one

1:37:14

of the strangest experience I've ever endured in a movie

1:37:17

theater. I would say that everyone in

1:37:19

the theater was glancing around trying to figure out what was happening.

1:37:21

But I was only one of three people. His

1:37:24

other incredible. It is a good one. The

1:37:27

other line is really funny. It's Hollywood really

1:37:29

this dumb. That's what I kept asking myself

1:37:31

Monday as I struggled to remain conscious during

1:37:33

a screening of the reprehensible rollerball. Just

1:37:36

so you know, the previous sentence took nearly

1:37:38

20 minutes to write. I wanted to be

1:37:40

absolutely certain that reprehensible was the best possible

1:37:42

adjective. Simmons was in his bag back then.

1:37:44

I hunted down my thesaurus buried under a

1:37:46

phallic, some magazines of pictures and searched for

1:37:48

the perfect word to describe one of the

1:37:50

worst movies I've ever seen. Dreadful,

1:37:53

appalling, putrid atrocious,

1:37:55

heinous, excrement, odious,

1:37:57

apollonal, rancid, horrific, ghastly. None

1:37:59

of them fit. And then I found

1:38:01

it reprehensible perfect this movie was

1:38:03

reprehensible the other one I want to

1:38:05

read Roger

1:38:08

Ebert's point five star review. That's why I thought

1:38:10

you gave it a point point five. I gave

1:38:12

it a 1.5 He

1:38:15

said someday this film may inspire a long

1:38:18

thoughtful book by John Wright It's after my

1:38:21

guess is that something went dreadfully

1:38:23

wrong early in the production maybe

1:38:25

dysteria or mass hypnosis And the

1:38:29

director John McTernan die hard

1:38:31

a case of making someone's credit almost

1:38:33

feel like an in-home John

1:38:36

McTernan parentheses die hard was unable to supply right

1:38:38

with the shots You need to make sense of

1:38:40

the story and then this is the real money

1:38:43

I saw a Russian documentary once where

1:38:45

half of the shots were blurred and

1:38:47

overexposed because the KGB attacked the negative

1:38:49

with x-rays Maybe this movie

1:38:51

was put through an MRI I The

1:38:55

signifiers have survived but not the

1:38:57

signified we gotta bring this back