0:00

This series of Behind the Bump is

0:02

proudly sponsored by Ofunet. We

0:05

would like to begin by acknowledging the

0:07

traditional owners of the land in which

0:09

we record this podcast today, the Arakwa

0:11

people of the Bundjalung Nation, and pay

0:14

our respects to elders past and present.

0:16

It's my turn. It was my turn three

0:19

pregnancies ago. Is this very heartbeat yet? No, it's

0:21

just no sweat. I will do anything.

0:23

I just want so much to be a

0:25

mother. There's a line. There's a line. And

0:27

we did a transfer of one embryo in

0:29

each surrogate. I have learnt that I am

0:32

so freaking amazing. Families come together in many

0:34

different ways and we need to normalise this.

0:36

Have sex and get pregnant. It's that

0:39

easy, right? Not for one in six of

0:41

us. From the makers of

0:43

Beyond the Bump, we, Sophie, Jade

0:45

and Lara, bring you Behind the

0:47

Bump. A place to share stories

0:49

and shed light on miscarriage, IVF,

0:51

infertility and more. So if you're trying

0:54

to conceive, or if your friend is

0:56

doing IVF, if you just love a

0:58

moving story, then Behind the Bump is

1:00

the podcast for you.

1:03

Hi, Kirsty. Thank

1:08

you so much for joining us today here with Sophie. Sophie,

1:12

hello, is your name? Yeah,

1:14

we're really bloody excited to hear your

1:16

story. And yeah, can't wait

1:18

to just get stuck into it. We would

1:20

love to start by hearing, I guess, who

1:23

is in your family now and take us

1:25

back to then the start

1:27

of trying for your family and how that

1:29

looked at the start. Hi, Laxny. Hi, Sophie.

1:32

Thank you for having me. So currently

1:34

in my family, there's myself.

1:36

My name is Kirsty Bryant, my

1:39

lovely husband, Nicholas Bryant,

1:41

and we have a

1:43

two and a half year old daughter,

1:45

Violet, and we have

1:47

baby number two on the way. And

1:50

how far along are you at the moment? I

1:52

am 31 weeks, 32 weeks tomorrow. Amazing.

1:56

So the end is on the horizon.

2:00

My second time round,

2:02

obviously I've had some, you know,

2:05

it's been different, but I definitely

2:07

got to that sort of

2:09

28, 29 weeks. And I was

2:11

going, oh, I've got this, I've got this.

2:13

And then I think it was like 30

2:15

weeks and I was looking in the mirror and I'm just going,

2:18

I am so heavy. I

2:21

am so tired. My back hurts.

2:24

So yeah, everything sort of really,

2:26

those last sort of trimester, all

2:28

those feelings that are rushing back

2:30

and feeling like, yeah, that really

2:33

heavy, starting to feel like exhausted,

2:35

just walking upstairs, chasing Violet around.

2:37

Yeah. I remember when I

2:39

was at that point with my second and I

2:41

went into all my obstetrician and I said, I

2:43

think you need to check me. It feels like

2:45

she could just fall out at any minute when

2:48

I'm squatting on like the playroom floor with Poppy

2:50

and he checked me and he's like, no, no,

2:52

no, it's all like, you're not dilated. It's

2:54

all fine. I honestly feel like her head

2:56

could just touch the ground if I wish

2:59

a cough or something. Like that is your

3:01

bladder shape. That is because,

3:03

yeah, that's your pelvic floor now, my love.

3:05

Now take us back to the

3:07

start. How was getting pregnant with

3:10

Violet? How is that pregnancy? Let

3:12

us know. So we, my

3:14

husband and I got married in April 2020.

3:18

So at the peak of COVID, at

3:20

the beginning of COVID, and

3:22

we had to cancel our wedding

3:24

basically, we had to cancel our

3:26

honeymoon. We had a backyard

3:29

wedding with just a celebrant and two

3:31

parents on each side. No

3:33

photographer, no food, no

3:35

guests, like no brothers and

3:37

sisters. It was very strange,

3:40

but you know, it's part of our story

3:42

now. And when

3:44

we couldn't go on our honeymoon, we sort

3:46

of said, hey, what else are we going

3:48

to do? Let's have a

3:50

baby. Broke your head. I know. I

3:53

think you were alone there. I had a lot

3:55

of friends who I feel like still had a

3:57

number of years left of like partying and travel.

4:00

and all of this and then they got locked out and they're

4:02

like, ah, fuck it. Let's just... Well,

4:05

we had also just finished building our house.

4:07

So we had planned to like, yeah, settle

4:09

into the house. We were going to go

4:11

to Japan for our honeymoon. Like

4:13

we still had things to do, but

4:16

once the honeymoon got cancelled and work

4:18

for the future was looking sort of

4:21

unsure, we, you know, we always wanted

4:23

to have children. So we sort of

4:25

just said, oh, we'll just, it could

4:27

take 12 months. Like, we'll just see

4:29

how we go. So we fell

4:31

pregnant in the May. So the following

4:33

month, I was very excited. Went

4:35

straight to the doctor, saw my GP. He

4:37

was very excited, confirmed to the blood test.

4:40

And then a week or

4:42

two later, I started spotting and I

4:44

had like a very early miscarriage. And

4:47

then once I had been

4:49

pregnant that first time, Nick was sort of

4:52

like, oh, you know, we can just take

4:54

it slow. We can just, you know, there's

4:56

no rush. But by that

4:58

stage, after coming from that loss,

5:00

I really knew I wanted to

5:02

be pregnant. So I had

5:04

a natural period and then we tried again

5:06

and we fell pregnant the month after

5:08

that. And then I was a bit more

5:11

slower, you know, going to the doctors, getting

5:13

that confirmation. So I don't

5:15

think I did anything sort of

5:17

until 10 weeks, just because I just kept

5:19

thinking to myself, just in case, you know,

5:21

it might happen again, I'll just take it,

5:23

you know, take it slow. And then when

5:25

I saw my GP, he's like, oh, like,

5:27

you're definitely pregnant. Like, we need to get

5:29

you a dating scan. Then I needed

5:31

a 12 week scan. And then it

5:34

seemed, yeah, we were quite lucky

5:36

in that regard. Like, Violet's pregnancy

5:38

was pretty low risk. I was

5:40

part of the MGP on the

5:43

mid-north coast. So I had two

5:45

midwives looking after me. I

5:47

didn't really meet any of the obstetricians

5:50

at my local hospital because everything was

5:52

sort of going as planned. And then

5:55

two days before her due

5:57

date, I started getting those

6:00

early labour signs. So I

6:03

was kind of walking around my streets

6:05

for the day before and

6:07

then it was a Friday and yeah, we

6:09

went into hospital and we had it confirmed

6:11

like, yes, yep, you're definitely in labour. And

6:13

then we went

6:16

home and we waited

6:18

another sort of 12 hours and we

6:20

went back the next day. And

6:22

by the time we went back to the hospital, I

6:24

was already seven centimetres. So yeah. Oh, at this point,

6:27

you're just thinking this is the absolute dream.

6:29

She's two days before she's due,

6:31

like that's beautifully punctual. You haven't

6:33

had to go over due. Yeah.

6:36

The only thing was when they

6:38

confirmed that I was definitely in

6:40

labour, they also confirmed that she

6:43

was posterior. So she

6:45

was head down and, you know,

6:47

she was in a good position but

6:50

not optimal. So her back was

6:52

towards my spine. So for me,

6:54

experiencing labour was all in

6:57

my back. So I

6:59

didn't get those traditional people sort

7:01

of say it's like an achy

7:03

period pain thing that happened. All

7:05

my pain, I just felt like my tailbone was

7:08

going to be broken. So when I

7:10

labored at home, it was mainly like in and

7:12

out of the shower, bouncing up and down on

7:14

the ball. And then by the time we got

7:16

into the hospital, I said I'd

7:18

like to get in the bath. So they were

7:20

a little bit like, oh, water does

7:22

sometimes slow down first, but we'll see

7:24

how you go. And I

7:27

got out of the bath and I was

7:29

like eight or nine centimetres. And

7:32

then we tried standing up for a

7:34

little bit longer and trying to move around. So

7:36

I knew gravity was, you know, going to be

7:38

our best friend. But I did end up having

7:41

an epidural like at nine o'clock

7:43

the next night. So this is

7:45

the Saturday night. And

7:48

yeah, we once we got into the pushing,

7:50

she came all the way down and I could, my

7:53

midwife was saying, you know, touch her on her head.

7:55

You know, you'll be able to touch her hair. And

7:57

I remember I could touch her hair, but she was

7:59

a. So she was

8:01

trying to look out instead of

8:03

tucking her chin. So she

8:06

ended up getting stuck and

8:08

we tried and tried and

8:10

tried, but unfortunately we weren't

8:12

able to use any assistance,

8:14

so no vacuum or faucets or

8:17

anything like that just due to that

8:19

row presentation. And

8:21

then we were told we'd need a cesarean

8:23

section and by that stage I just wanted

8:25

to meet my baby. I

8:28

was a little bit shocked because

8:32

my sister-in-law had two

8:34

very quick, easy,

8:37

I don't like to say easy, two very quick, busy

8:39

one. Unconverted. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

8:42

And she's just a champion and her first

8:44

two just, you know, they were here within

8:46

a couple of hours. She

8:48

was, yeah, sitting up in the bed, we

8:51

were taking photos. You know, she, it was

8:53

incredible. She's amazing. And my mum

8:55

sort of describes myself and my brother

8:57

being, you know, birth that way. She

9:00

tells the story of when I was coming

9:02

that dad stopped at the TAB and put

9:04

his footy tips on for that week and then

9:06

drove her to the hospital and, you know, within an

9:09

hour I was here. I

9:11

hope you got some of them right. So I was a

9:13

little bit, yeah, I was a

9:15

little bit disappointed, but

9:18

very excited to like meet my baby

9:20

and become a mother, you know. And

9:24

yeah, sort of from that point on, things

9:27

just started going wrong from there, basically.

9:29

So you'd been told you needed the

9:31

caesarean and they'd wheeled you off for

9:33

one. And was it like, was it emergency

9:35

at this point? Or it was just like, okay,

9:38

we're starting to, you know, head this way,

9:40

everyone get prepared. It was an emergency. However,

9:42

there were other things going on in our

9:45

hospital that prevented me going

9:47

straight in. I live

9:49

in a smallish,

9:51

like, I mean, not

9:53

any smaller than any other mid-north coastal town,

9:56

but they only had it was weekends. They were

9:59

low run staff. It was COVID

10:02

and there was two other emergencies that had

10:04

taken place, one with a birthing woman and

10:06

her baby who came in

10:08

ambulance and another one with a little boy

10:11

and a substantial injury. He

10:14

had a broken leg. So they were

10:16

sort of, you know, we did take our

10:18

time to get up to the anesthesiologist. We

10:21

then waited for a little bit. We

10:24

had to sign the consent, do all those things. So

10:26

by the time we got in there, it was about midnight

10:29

and my daughter was born at one

10:32

o'clock. When she came out, she

10:34

was crying. They gave it to my husband.

10:36

My husband held her in my face. They gave her a kiss.

10:39

They did take her away.

10:41

So my husband went with Violet. We

10:43

only had one boy name, one

10:46

girl name. We didn't know what gender we

10:48

were having. So it was really nice that,

10:50

you know, when the doctor said, oh, you've

10:52

got a baby girl, straight away.

10:55

I started calling her Violet. And

10:57

then everyone sort of picked up on that

10:59

and the midwives were calling her Violet. And

11:01

so that was a really lovely sort of

11:03

last memory I had of seeing

11:06

my baby girl, seeing my husband. They

11:08

said to Nick, like, Kirsty needs sewing

11:10

up. Like, she will come down to

11:12

you soon. He went downstairs. They didn't

11:14

quite have a room for us yet.

11:17

So Nick went to where the

11:19

babies are all barbed and

11:22

he stayed with a midwife. In

11:24

the commotion of getting to the hospital, we'd forgotten

11:26

the colostrum that I had collected, you

11:28

know, for those last two weeks. So

11:31

his mum actually come in, delivered the

11:33

colostrum. So I was lucky that my

11:35

husband was with our newborn baby, obviously,

11:37

but also had his mum there to

11:39

support him and also had very supportive

11:42

midwives around him. They didn't

11:44

know what was going to

11:46

unfold, obviously. But as the hours ticked

11:48

on, yeah, information

11:50

wasn't coming to Nick. They

11:52

definitely were just trying to say, you

11:54

know, Kirsty's in recovery. She needs to...

11:57

At first, I was saying, yeah, Kirsty's in recovery.

12:00

She'll be down as soon as she can. Nick

12:03

just assumed that in an hour or two

12:05

I would be down. Yeah. But

12:07

for me upstairs, it was very different. So I was

12:09

born at one o'clock. You

12:11

can violet left. They had

12:13

closed me up. So they were suturing

12:15

up my cesarean section and... Sorry,

12:18

can I... Are you awake at this point? Like... Yep.

12:22

So you had consciousness, they were just the norm at this point.

12:24

Yeah. At this point, they went

12:26

to move me from the point

12:28

that you're on when you're in having

12:31

surgery to a bed. And

12:33

I told them that I could feel... I

12:35

was having pain in my back and

12:38

I wasn't feeling well. So they decided

12:40

to keep me where I was. And

12:43

that's when I started shivering. And I

12:45

know sort of that shaking, shivering thing

12:47

can happen after you've given birth. But

12:50

I was uncontrollably

12:52

shaking. I could

12:54

hear everything beeping. They were trying

12:56

to get my temperature under control.

12:58

So my blood pressure wasn't stable.

13:01

My temperature wasn't stable. They

13:03

knew I was bleeding because it was

13:06

coming out vaginally at this stage. So

13:08

they opened me back up. When

13:10

they opened me back up, they realised I

13:12

had a four litre postpartum hemorrhage and

13:14

that they needed to act quickly. So

13:17

I remember because

13:19

I was shaking, they... I already had my

13:21

arms out on these planks out

13:24

of me. But they started strapping

13:26

me in just to try and

13:28

keep me on the bed because I wasn't

13:30

stable. And then I started vomiting on myself.

13:33

I remember asking the midwives to try and tie

13:35

my hair up. And I had this

13:37

really short choppy bob and it was really hard

13:39

to tie up. And yeah, I

13:41

had the nurses trying to fix my

13:43

hair and trying to suction the

13:46

vomit off myself. And that's when

13:48

I heard all the phones ringing. So I don't

13:50

know if you've ever noticed at a hospital,

13:52

everyone has phones and pages on them. They've

13:55

called the phones out of their pockets and

13:58

everyone was ringing someone. So the... needed

14:00

to behind me he was ringing his boss saying

14:02

hey I think you need to get down here.

14:04

Yeah they were ringing for more blood.

14:06

They didn't have a blood gas machine

14:08

in the surgery so someone was running

14:11

my bloods down to pathology and bath.

14:13

I heard them saying that they

14:16

were run out of blood if I

14:18

kept bleeding so they were

14:20

trying to order blood. Things were just

14:23

not going well. So originally they had

14:25

planned to do a CT scan to

14:27

find where the bleeding was coming from

14:30

but I was just too hemodynamically unstable

14:32

so blood pressure, heart. I was just

14:34

bleeding too fast for

14:37

them to be able to make a

14:39

plan and action anything. So I found

14:42

out now that my body was in

14:44

something called DIC shock and

14:46

that's basically when your blood just

14:49

can't decide if it needs to clot or not so

14:51

you're just bleeding out. Anything

14:53

that comes into me, any platelets,

14:55

blood, blood products, I was just

14:58

bleeding out. So then it was about

15:00

3 a.m. in the morning and

15:02

there was a few new faces in the

15:04

room. There was another woman, there was another

15:07

obstetrician gynecologist and the man that did my

15:09

cesarean section finally popped his head

15:11

over the curtain and said we

15:14

need to do a hysterectomy and I

15:16

remember saying no. I was like no

15:19

no no no and they

15:21

were like it's a life-saving hysterectomy and we need

15:23

to do it now and

15:25

I just remember crying. I was begging for

15:27

my mum. I was

15:29

asking for my husband and

15:32

then I remember they were

15:34

trying to keep the mask on my face because

15:36

I had like a oxygen mask on but

15:39

to me it felt like I was

15:41

suffocating but obviously that was

15:43

the bleeding but they were trying to

15:45

get oxygen into me so I

15:47

remember fighting with the nurses a little bit and

15:49

then telling them like you need to put me

15:51

to sleep, you need to knock me out. I

15:53

was sort of coming in and out of consciousness

15:55

and every time I was coming back

15:58

into consciousness I would be I

16:00

remember them holding me down. It

16:02

was just, it was just awful. And

16:05

then they popped me to sleep and

16:07

I woke up. It

16:10

was a day and a half later. So

16:14

they popped me into an induced coma

16:16

just to let my body heal from

16:18

the blood loss. So in

16:21

total, I lost 11 liters of blood. And

16:25

yeah, when my family came and

16:27

saw me, I

16:29

didn't look like myself because I was so

16:31

swollen because of all the blood

16:34

products and things they had given me.

16:36

So I remember, yeah, my mom just

16:38

saying how puffed up my lips and

16:40

my teeth and my eyes were. And

16:42

that just my face didn't look like

16:44

myself. I mean, other than the tube

16:46

that was down my throat and I

16:49

had a pick line in my neck and a few

16:51

other things. But yeah.

16:53

And as soon as they'd done

16:55

the hysterectomy, the bleeding had stopped.

16:57

Like it was something like

17:00

they got to the source, obviously. Yeah.

17:03

So the bleeding was coming from my uterus.

17:05

Yeah. We're not sure what

17:07

caused it. And you've had no

17:09

bleeding issues in the past or anything. No. So

17:12

some investigations say that I

17:14

was left too long with

17:17

Violet squishing on my uterus. And it's something

17:19

called atony or atony when

17:21

your muscle just can't contract

17:24

back. And, you

17:26

know, there are ways to fix that, which

17:28

they sort of tried with the compression and

17:30

things like that. So just stop bleeding. You

17:32

can put pressure on something. So

17:35

if you have a tooth removed or you're bleeding

17:37

from the arm, you can. Yeah.

17:39

But the pushing

17:41

may have caused the tear to get bigger,

17:43

but it's very hard to,

17:46

you know, look back on something. Especially

17:48

in the moment where, yeah, they were

17:50

just trying to get baby safely. And,

17:54

yeah, they were trying to keep me

17:57

alive. So, you know, I struggle. I

18:00

struggled a lot with the

18:02

fact that I didn't

18:04

get a choice about my uterus.

18:07

And if you spoke to me a month

18:09

or two postpartum of Violet, I would have

18:12

said I would have rather died

18:14

than have had my uterus removed.

18:16

But obviously now, a few

18:19

years later, I'm definitely feeling very, very

18:21

different. Yeah,

18:23

so definitely not the way

18:25

I expected to wake up

18:28

after giving birth. When you

18:31

woke up, did you remember

18:33

that you'd had her and

18:36

you hadn't held her yet? Yeah,

18:38

I knew what had happened. I

18:40

had very incredibly strong,

18:42

vivid memories of what

18:45

had happened. So

18:47

once I woke up and they

18:49

brought Violet and my husband

18:52

to me, lots of doctors and

18:54

nurses and people started to visit.

18:57

So with the commotion of trying

18:59

to remove my uterus, they also

19:01

meet a utero in surgery. So

19:03

I had a stent place from

19:06

my kidney to my

19:08

bladder. And so I

19:11

had, yeah, I had had this extra little

19:13

surgery as well. So yeah, I had lots

19:15

of people, trauma doctors, surgeons,

19:17

anesthesiologists, nurses, people

19:20

from pathology coming and visiting

19:22

me. And I see you just saying, hi,

19:24

it's really nice to see you awake. You

19:27

probably don't remember me, but I just wanted to come

19:29

and see and make sure you're okay. So

19:32

that was really lovely. Pretty

19:34

much from the get go though, people

19:37

wanted to reassure me that I

19:40

still had my ovaries. And

19:42

that I would be able to have

19:44

children through surrogacy. So pretty much the

19:47

next day, I remember people coming

19:49

to check on me, social workers

19:51

and things. And surrogacy

19:53

was brought up straight away.

19:56

And I knew what surrogacy was because

19:59

it's incredible. Kardashian had had a

20:01

surrogate, like it was in

20:03

the world around me, but something I'd never

20:05

considered for myself. So

20:08

yeah, it was a lot to wrap

20:10

your head around. And was that helpful

20:12

that as reassurance

20:14

or was it too

20:16

soon? I know people

20:18

were definitely doing it in

20:21

a kind way. They wanted to reassure me,

20:23

but it was too soon

20:25

for me. I was worried

20:28

that if I didn't look

20:30

like I was coping, that

20:33

I could potentially have my baby taken away from me.

20:36

So something I've never really

20:38

spoken about before. I'm not

20:41

even really with my husband. I just wanted

20:43

to put on this brave face because every

20:46

time someone looked at me, especially

20:49

my family, they just looked

20:51

so sad. My

20:54

husband was looking at me with pity

20:56

and I just wanted to celebrate

20:58

this little baby and be

21:01

happy. And

21:03

I was sad that

21:06

I didn't get

21:08

to be there when my parents met my baby girl.

21:11

I didn't get to see her first feeds.

21:14

I didn't change her nappy for five days. We

21:17

didn't leave the hospital. We literally didn't

21:19

see the blue sky outside for seven days. I

21:24

was just so cognizant

21:26

of people thinking I wouldn't

21:29

be coping and that they wouldn't leave me alone

21:31

with my baby. And all I could think was

21:33

leave me alone with my baby. Go

21:36

away, leave me alone. I just want to hold my

21:38

baby. I

21:41

had all these appointments and people checking on

21:43

me and I felt like for

21:45

the first few months, it

21:48

was just all about appointments, all

21:50

about checkups, everyone checking

21:52

on my mental health. I

21:55

know it was coming from a place

21:57

of kindness and wanting to check

22:00

on me but I was just so worried

22:02

that someone would think I

22:04

wasn't coping and that I

22:06

wasn't a good mum. So I

22:08

just, yeah, I just put on a brave face.

22:11

Did you feel a bit robbed? Like

22:13

obviously very robbed in terms of your

22:15

birth not going how you planned and then

22:17

losing a huge body part during that but

22:19

then also like robbed of what you probably

22:22

imagined those first months would look like with

22:24

your new baby and then it's just more

22:26

and more and more about this terrible thing

22:29

that's happened and not about you becoming a

22:31

mum for the first time. A hundred

22:33

percent, yeah, definitely. It was

22:36

everything that we didn't expect. We'll

22:38

be back with more Behind the Bump

22:40

goodness after this short break. Sophie,

22:43

when I say the words slippery raw

22:45

egg whites, what do you think of?

22:48

Well obviously cervical mucus. That's the

22:50

consistency you would typically look for

22:53

as a sign of ovulation.

22:55

Yeah, I remember it all too well

22:58

but even though poking around and examining

23:00

your own fluids can be super fun,

23:02

do you guys know that there is

23:05

an incredible new service called Ovunet? It

23:07

offers far more than a

23:10

typical ovulation tracking app. You

23:12

are able to receive real

23:15

fertility help from actual fertility

23:17

specialists. They provide tailored treatment

23:20

plans with everything from ovulation

23:22

induction, prescriptions, blood tests, ultrasound

23:25

assessments to specialist telehealth consultations.

23:28

Oh my goodness, yes, I've heard of

23:30

this. It's actually all online based so

23:32

there's no waiting and you can access

23:34

it whenever you feel ready. So there's

23:36

none of that arbitrary six or twelve

23:38

months rule to just keep going at

23:40

it alone at home before you receive

23:42

help. Yes, studies show

23:44

that challenges in falling pregnant are

23:47

often linked to infrequent, missed time

23:49

or lack of ovulation. So it's

23:51

absolutely the first place to look

23:53

if you're missing a BFP when

23:56

TTC. And Ovunet

23:58

is obviously a game changer for the future. those

24:00

living regionally, but I love that this

24:02

service is available for anyone who wants to

24:04

take control of their fertility from the comfort

24:06

of their own home. How bloody

24:09

brilliant is that? Very brilliant.

24:11

And I'm so happy to let our beautiful

24:13

listeners know that OVUNet has given you all

24:15

a 10% discount for

24:18

your first treatment cycle. All

24:20

you have to do is access OVUNet

24:22

via the exclusive link in the show

24:24

notes. The initial consultation is

24:26

also free of charge and further

24:28

appointments and testing are not only

24:30

eligible for bulk billing, but are

24:33

also shared with your current GP for

24:35

seamless care. Trying to

24:37

conceive can be so overwhelming. I just

24:39

love that there is a place you

24:41

can go for tailored specialist support whenever

24:43

you need it. OVUNet really seems to

24:45

understand what has been missing for so

24:47

many couples. If you or someone you

24:50

know is on this journey, we highly

24:52

encourage you to explore the OVUNet website

24:54

and see how they can support you.

24:56

Now back to the show. And

24:59

how was the recovery of

25:02

that? I think because

25:04

I knew nothing different, I'd never had

25:06

a major surgery. I'd never had a

25:08

caesarean session before. Recovering

25:10

from a caesarean anhysterectomy at the same

25:12

time was just, you know, I didn't

25:14

have anything to compare it to. So

25:17

we just took it really slowly. I

25:19

obviously couldn't carry anything. So I didn't

25:21

really go outside much because

25:23

I couldn't really get the capsule in and out of the

25:25

car. I really struggled pushing the

25:28

pram. The blood loss really

25:30

paid apart with the recovery. True because

25:32

I was very breathless for

25:34

a long time. But also,

25:37

so we went home at

25:39

day eight or nine, and

25:42

then I was home for four days. And

25:45

then I got an

25:47

infection. So I got an

25:50

infection in what they call the vault,

25:52

which is the spot where UU-DRS used

25:54

to be. And I

25:56

ended up hospitalised for another five

25:58

days, taken away from... my baby

26:01

and hooked up to IV antibiotics.

26:03

And, um, yeah, they

26:06

just blasted me with everything and I

26:08

was trying to get, they

26:10

weren't even sure if my milk would come in

26:12

because of all the blood loss and the trauma.

26:14

So I was trying to establish my feeding and

26:17

then I got knocked down with the infection.

26:19

So the road to recovery was,

26:21

yeah, a bumpy one. And now

26:24

that you know your bub isn't going

26:26

to get taken off you and

26:28

wouldn't have been at the time because of this

26:30

Aida, but I understand thinking like that. How was

26:32

your mental health actually at this

26:34

time? Not great. Definitely

26:38

projecting out and being like, I'm

26:40

just so grateful. You know, my

26:42

husband kept reminding me like, I'm

26:44

just grateful that you're

26:46

alive. You know, I had a

26:48

few bumpy days and I had to just

26:50

call my mom and be like, I need

26:52

you to come from work, like I'm not

26:55

coping. She's been crying for

26:57

a few hours. I know she's tired and hungry,

26:59

but I just, I don't know what I'm doing

27:01

wrong, but I was really, I

27:04

want to very expressly, like

27:06

I was very, very well

27:08

supported by my husband and

27:11

his parents and my parents, my

27:13

husband's parents, like two streets away.

27:16

And Nick's mum made us all

27:18

these incredible meals. She, before

27:21

we came home from hospital, came to

27:23

our house, cleaned the house, changed

27:25

the sheet. My mother-in-law

27:27

is definitely a fixer and

27:29

she was incredible and she

27:32

didn't need me to talk about stuff.

27:34

She didn't need me to ask for stuff. She just did

27:36

it. She made us meals. She

27:39

changed my sheet. And

27:42

then my mum, my mum was there to hold

27:44

my hand. So, you

27:47

know, my mum just

27:50

the same thing, just became my rock. She

27:52

didn't want to talk about it because I

27:54

didn't want to talk about it, but she

27:56

was just there. So just like

27:58

one step behind me, just making sure that I

28:00

wasn't going to, you know, fold her.

28:02

She was just like, you've got this, like,

28:05

just, you know, we were stepping, stepping, stepping.

28:07

So yeah, I was incredibly supported by

28:09

my family. And I

28:12

think that's what got me through those first,

28:15

you know, three, four,

28:17

five months. Just going back, forgive

28:19

my ignorance, but when you had

28:21

it hysterectomy, does that physically start

28:25

any kind of menopausal situation in your body?

28:27

Like, does it have an effect like that

28:29

on you or not because you still had your

28:31

ovaries? Yeah, so the blood loss affected

28:34

my ovaries slightly. So

28:37

I did get some funny

28:39

symptoms, but we also could

28:41

have put it down to trauma. So I

28:43

lost, so we talked about

28:45

postpartum hair loss and, you know, the little

28:47

fuzzy bits, but like, I lost

28:50

so much hair. And

28:52

the reason that that happens is

28:55

when your body's in, you know,

28:57

fight or flight, when your

28:59

body's dying, it redirects all its

29:01

nutrients and its blood and everything

29:03

towards your major organs, and

29:06

your hair is not eating you

29:08

alive. Yeah, it's important. We

29:11

can laugh now. I'm sure it was not

29:13

funny at the time. It

29:15

was just sort of the, like, the cherry

29:17

on top. And I was like

29:19

losing all my hair, my

29:21

body, like, it was,

29:24

yeah, I was mourning, losing

29:27

my uterus and I

29:29

was, you know, I kept

29:31

thinking, my daughter's going to get

29:33

a period and I'm never going to get a period

29:35

again. Like, how do I teach her about these things?

29:38

And yeah, it's, yeah. It

29:40

puts into perspective, whinging about your

29:43

period, doesn't it? And

29:46

again, like, I work in a space with

29:49

lots of women. And of course,

29:51

someone comes in and they're like, oh, my back's

29:53

killing me. Like, oh, you

29:55

should have seen the, you know, the show in

29:57

the bathroom this morning. Like, oh, dear. And

30:00

then they look at me and they go, oh, and I'm

30:02

like, it's cool. Like, it's fine. It's

30:04

cool. Like, I understand people still get the view.

30:08

Yeah, totally. And I need that because

30:10

I'm going to have a daughter and

30:12

she's going to need to hear these

30:14

stories because it's such a natural thing

30:16

that us women go through. So, yeah.

30:18

And so let's fast forward, because I'm

30:20

sure that people listening are like, wait,

30:22

but you're 30 weeks pregnant. Yeah. When

30:26

did you start to think, okay, maybe

30:28

I want another child? And

30:31

what happened? So

30:34

pretty much the

30:36

day I woke up from my induced coma,

30:38

I was like, when am I going to

30:40

be pregnant again? I

30:42

knew the reality. I knew I didn't

30:44

have a uterus. So when

30:46

I came home from hospital, I threw

30:48

out a lot of stuff. I

30:51

threw out a lot of pregnancy clothes, the

30:54

bump support things, like anything that

30:56

I associated with my pregnancy. I

30:59

just put in a bag and just threw

31:01

it on the side of the road because I was like, get

31:03

out of my house. I don't even want to look at you

31:05

again. Yeah. And you thought your only option

31:08

would be surrogacy, right? Correct. Correct.

31:10

So in my mind, you know,

31:13

we sat down as a family. So I'm,

31:16

I have a brother. I'm the eldest and my brother

31:18

is 18 months younger than me. And

31:21

he started his family before me. So

31:23

he had two children already. And

31:26

when I was

31:28

out of hospital, the infection had subsided.

31:31

Things were looking a bit more positive.

31:33

My sister-in-law actually offered to be my

31:35

surrogate. Wow. Which was incredible

31:38

because obviously that

31:40

kept me in a positive mental

31:42

state because I knew, you know,

31:45

one of the reasons why I wanted to have

31:47

lots of children and have a

31:49

sibling for Violet is because of

31:51

my relationship with my brother and

31:54

he had had quite a battle 18 months

31:57

prior to me having Violet.

32:00

But he actually had testicular cancer and

32:03

had had chemo and surgeries

32:05

and it was in his lymph nodes. So

32:07

we'd already been through a bit of

32:09

a shit time with medical

32:11

things. And a bit

32:14

of him too. Like, so... Yeah.

32:17

So when I had my hysterectomy, my brother had

32:19

been told, so he only had one testicle and

32:21

he'd also had three months of chemo and

32:24

a second surgery to remove his lymph nodes

32:26

out of his tummy. His

32:28

doctor basically said, you can't have many more

32:30

children. And he already had two. So he

32:33

was like, OK, I'm fine with that. And

32:35

then I had hysterectomy and my parents

32:37

were early

32:40

50s and they were just flawed

32:42

that most of their children were

32:44

now not able to have children.

32:47

So that was one thing that was

32:49

really hard for them to get their head around.

32:51

But yeah, one of the reasons

32:53

why I so badly wanted

32:55

a sibling for Violet is because

32:57

of that love I had for

32:59

my brother and my childhood growing

33:01

up with him. Like, we were,

33:04

you know, obviously, I mean,

33:07

Sophie, you understand the girls are best friends one

33:09

day and then their enemies the next day. My

33:12

brother and I, you know, we would fight and argue

33:14

and, you know, hate each other one minute. But we

33:16

were, yeah, we stuck together and we looked after

33:18

each other. And I really wanted that

33:20

for Violet. You were allowed to be mean to

33:22

one another, but no one else was allowed to.

33:25

That's sibling love. And

33:28

so that was really reassuring.

33:30

And then we made appointments

33:32

with the appropriate people. Nick and

33:35

I had our fertility tested. I

33:37

had my AMH level tested. Nick

33:39

had done his job in the

33:41

cup. He'd done what he could

33:44

do. And my sister-in-law said,

33:46

hey, can you come meet us at

33:48

your parents' place? And

33:50

she was in tears. And I

33:52

was like, what's going on? And

33:55

she'd fallen pregnant. So, yeah.

34:00

So one little

34:03

swimmer was just very determined

34:05

and my sister-in-law actually had

34:07

fertility issues as well. So we were

34:09

just, everyone was just over the moon. I

34:12

couldn't stop crying and of course my

34:14

poor sister-in-law thought, oh gosh,

34:16

I've upset Kirsty but I was just over

34:18

the moon that we were going to get a baby in the family.

34:20

I was just like, oh my lord. Because it

34:22

felt like that was never going to happen again. So

34:25

between Violet and Mila, which is

34:28

their third, there's only like nine,

34:30

ten months. So it's pretty incredible.

34:32

But yeah, that obviously had halted

34:34

our journey towards surrogacy and I

34:37

still in my head wanted to

34:39

carry a baby. So I was like, anyway,

34:41

I put Violet down for a lunch sleep.

34:43

It was like the middle of the day

34:45

and I had already

34:48

added myself into a few groups on

34:51

Facebook. I was looking for a

34:53

community. I hadn't really found anything that

34:55

quite fit. I joined

34:57

a hysterectomy group. I joined a

34:59

birth trauma group, but nothing

35:01

was really sort of like where I

35:04

felt like I belonged. But somewhere

35:07

along the line, someone posted about a

35:09

clinical trial for a uterus transplant and

35:12

I was doing some research

35:14

and I could see that they

35:16

had stopped pursuing the clinical trial

35:18

during COVID. But it

35:20

was now, so Violet was in the

35:22

May of 2021 was born and this was

35:25

six months later. So this is like about

35:27

October, so before Christmas. And they

35:29

were saying that it was going to reopen sort

35:31

of the next year, January 2022. And

35:36

gosh, you do not waste any time. I

35:38

love that six months later, even though you've

35:40

gone through all of this, like, you're

35:43

like, how can I get a

35:45

uterus transplant? Oh, it

35:47

gets funnier. So

35:49

I ring my GP, I make an appointment because

35:51

I know I need a referral. And

35:54

then I'm like, oh,

35:57

gosh, I have to ask my

35:59

mum. I need to bring, so

36:01

this clinical trial was, it was for

36:03

women that had, you know,

36:05

no uterus, but it also was, you

36:08

know, looking for them to bring a

36:10

donor basically. And in my head, I

36:12

was like, duh, I'll just ask my

36:15

mum. So I rang the

36:17

GP, I made the appointment, I shot off

36:19

the email because I answered all the questions.

36:22

And I was sort of just sitting sort of, you know,

36:24

and then I thought, oh my gosh,

36:26

I have to ask my mum. Maybe just in

36:28

passing and leave. Oh,

36:32

and mum, the way mum tells this next

36:34

conversation is way funnier than I, but I'll

36:36

try and do my best. I ring her,

36:38

she's at work, she's like, hey,

36:40

is everything okay? And I'm like, yeah, yeah,

36:42

yeah, everything's good because obviously, you

36:44

know, I've had some rocky days. So she's used to picking up the

36:46

phone in the middle of the day. She's

36:48

like, and I'm like, oh, no, no,

36:51

I'm fine. This is how I broached

36:53

it. Hyposthetically, if you could have hysterectomy

36:55

and I could have your uterus and

36:57

carry another baby, would you

36:59

do it with me? And she said, where?

37:03

In what country? I said,

37:05

in Australia, mum, in Sydney. And

37:07

she said, what, really? And I said, yeah, it's

37:10

a clinical trial, it's not being done here, but

37:12

it's being done overseas. Like,

37:14

could you do it with me? And she

37:16

said, oh, sure, I don't need

37:18

it. And I was like, oh, okay, no worries. And then

37:20

I was like, talk to you later. I love you. Bye.

37:24

Have more chicken in your sandwich for lunch. Like,

37:27

oh, yeah, yeah. That

37:29

you knew that she was your

37:31

person to ask, like, I would

37:33

think that someone with an older

37:35

uterus wouldn't be like a

37:38

prime candidate. Or does that not matter?

37:40

Like, she obviously had stopped getting her

37:42

periods, I'm guessing. No, so mum was

37:44

still getting period. So she was 51

37:46

at the time

37:49

that I asked, and we were doing

37:51

the test. So I had done a

37:53

quick little bit of like reading. And

37:57

I was seeing that mother-daughter combo.

38:00

those were the best. Well, also

38:02

sister to sister,

38:04

mother to daughter. Obviously, a

38:07

random match, like a friend is good,

38:09

but there's quite a few boxes you need

38:11

to tick. You need to be the same

38:13

blood type, which I knew my mum was

38:15

because we had donated blood together. I didn't

38:18

know about us being a tissue match, but

38:20

again, I was just like, surely that's more

38:22

likely. Yeah. Yeah. I knew mum was still

38:24

getting her period because we talk every day.

38:27

She has to still be getting her period.

38:29

Somewhat. Yeah. Yeah. Somewhat regularly. I didn't

38:31

need to be, she didn't need to

38:34

be, you know, obviously in a 30,

38:36

40, but she was, she was perimenopausal,

38:38

but she wasn't getting any symptoms and

38:40

she was somewhat getting a regular period.

38:42

So she wasn't on any drugs. My

38:45

mum's fit and healthy. She goes to

38:47

gym. She runs. She's way healthier than

38:49

me. So I just, I

38:51

knew she was going to be a

38:53

perfect candidate. And to be honest, I

38:56

wouldn't want to do it with anyone else.

38:58

So I knew mum again, would want

39:01

to hold my hand through this. And

39:04

yeah. So the GP got back to

39:06

me and said, Hey, I'm happy to

39:08

write this referral. I need

39:11

to, however, set up a bit of a

39:13

zoom and we need to talk to Nick

39:15

about this because Kirsty, I think you're

39:17

looking at this with a bit of rose coloured

39:19

glasses, but I'm, I want

39:21

to be an ally for

39:23

you. I want to help you through

39:25

this. So let's sit down, make a

39:27

date and me, you and Nick will

39:29

have a zoom. And I was feeling

39:32

a little bit nervous because I know

39:34

my husband is a bit

39:36

of a play it based guy. And I wasn't sure

39:38

how it was going to go, but my

39:40

GP explained to Nick what's

39:43

part of a clinical trial. You

39:45

know, what was happening in my body was having

39:47

he stretched me. And I think,

39:50

yeah, for Nick, my husband sort of

39:52

said to me, if this is what you want

39:55

to do, I'll support you. I'll let your GP

39:57

send this off, but hey, it might not happen.

40:00

might not fit the

40:02

category. I knew that we

40:04

had never done IVF. So that was one

40:06

of the criteria was that we had to

40:08

have five embryos as

40:10

a minimum in storage or

40:12

like frozen and we

40:14

didn't have that. So I knew

40:17

coming to the clinical trial that

40:19

obviously, and I mean, whether we

40:22

tried surrogacy or we did the

40:24

uterus transplant clinical trial, that was

40:26

going to have to happen. I was going to have

40:28

to do IVF because there was no physical way of

40:30

me accessing my eggs

40:32

without IVF. So I

40:34

sort of just kept hedging my bets with

40:37

my husband saying, Oh, well either way we

40:39

need these eggs. So, you know, we'll have

40:41

to go down the track. I love

40:43

you. You are so casual and

40:46

I'm sure it's so refreshing to everyone around you because

40:48

it's like almost hard to be scared when someone's

40:50

so casual. I

40:54

think that's how I just, I

40:57

kept getting through. Every time

40:59

we finished something, so we

41:01

did the, so my daughter

41:03

was 13 months old and

41:05

I just did, and she

41:07

was still breastfeeding just over night and over

41:09

morning, but I started the injections and she

41:12

sort of weaned herself and

41:14

we did the first round. First round, I

41:16

think we collected seven or eight, but only

41:19

three made it to being fertilized and

41:21

then frozen. So we were happy with

41:23

that, but we needed a minimum of

41:25

five. They offered for me to have

41:27

a month off, but I was like,

41:29

why would I do that? I've done

41:31

all this. No. So we went back

41:33

to back. I started the injections

41:35

again and then three weeks

41:38

later we came down to

41:40

Sydney, did the egg collection and

41:42

we got another three. So

41:44

we had six in the

41:47

freezer, which put us one over

41:49

the minimum. So we were stoked.

41:52

Dr Rebecca Deans was looking after us at

41:54

the Royal Women's and she was going to

41:56

be one of the main players of the

41:58

clinical trial. She, and again, She was

42:00

also saying like, Hey, if this doesn't work

42:02

out for the clinical trial, we've got these

42:04

sesaregases. Like this is all,

42:06

you know, just the first step. So she

42:08

had never performed one either

42:11

overseas or in Australia.

42:13

No, but her sort

42:15

of second in command, Dr.

42:17

Jana Pittman. As in Jana Pittman.

42:20

Yes. As in Olympian six

42:22

children, just been on the amazing race,

42:24

been on SAS, like writing books. Yes.

42:27

Yep. So she was actually the

42:29

person that replied to my email, but

42:31

until I met her, I was like, Oh,

42:33

this is, this is the Jana Pittman,

42:35

the Olympian. You're

42:38

yeah. She's like, what kind of doctor is

42:40

she? Um, she is

42:42

in her like final years of becoming

42:44

an obstetrician gynecologist. How many

42:46

hours does she have in a day? I

42:49

know. She's like, when, okay, fast

42:52

forward and I'm in the clinical trial.

42:54

So mum and I are blood match

42:56

tissue match. I've had exploratory surgery.

42:58

So they did a couple of little holes,

43:01

um, popped in a camera. They

43:03

saw a lot of the scar

43:05

tissue. And apparently when you've had

43:07

internal bleeding, things get stuck together.

43:10

But Dr. Dean sent all that

43:12

information over to Matt Branstrom in

43:14

tears from Sweden. And

43:16

Matt Branstrom is the pioneer

43:19

in uterus transplant surgery. So we

43:21

are following their protocols from Sweden.

43:23

So they sent him all that

43:25

information. He was happy with what

43:28

it looked like. And

43:30

then it was maybe like

43:32

two weeks before Christmas and

43:34

Jana rang me and said,

43:37

Hey, we need you come to Sydney to do

43:40

these final tests. If everything goes

43:42

well, you could potentially have a

43:44

surgery date of the first

43:47

or second week of January. And

43:49

this was Christmas. And my

43:51

dad had just had a hip operation and

43:53

was on crutches. And I

43:55

rang my mum and I said, look,

43:58

flat's going to be expensive. I know you're. chock

44:00

a block at work. Like, oh,

44:02

it just, it just seemed like it was

44:04

such a busy time. It was probably the

44:06

only time I sort of put my foot off

44:08

the gas. And I was just like,

44:11

Oh, you know, a bit ambivalent. I was

44:14

like, Oh, we need

44:16

to do this test. And then Yana and

44:18

I had a really serious chat and

44:20

she said, Hey, if you want me,

44:24

you could be first, you and your mum

44:26

could be first. And, you

44:28

know, Dr. Matt Branstrom is going to be

44:30

flown over from Sweden. He's

44:32

the best, you know, this is

44:34

what you want. We can make it happen. And,

44:37

um, I got off the phone and I rang

44:39

my mum back again and I just said, Hey,

44:42

scrap all that. I know it's going to be expensive. I'm

44:45

not going to drive. Let's just fly down.

44:47

And it was Christmas Eve Eve. So it

44:49

wasn't quite Christmas, but it was people. The

44:51

airport was chock a block and we got

44:53

to Sydney and we had a final test.

44:55

We filled out all the forms. We did

44:57

all the psychological side of it. We

45:00

met with the Anita Tirth and

45:03

two or three days later, Dr. Dean's

45:05

ran us back and said, Hey, we've

45:07

got Matt Branstrom and two

45:09

of his team and all of his

45:11

instruments scheduled on a flight from Gothenburg

45:13

to Australia. He'll be here one day

45:15

before your surgery. We're going to do

45:18

a run through and then your surgery

45:20

date is the 10th of January. We

45:22

need you here. We need you in Sydney. Was

45:24

this all paid for because it's a clinical trial. You

45:27

don't have to pay for any of this or do

45:29

you have costs? So prior

45:31

to being accepted into the clinical trial,

45:33

I paid for everything. And

45:35

then sometimes I get help from

45:38

the Royal Women's Foundation, which is

45:40

a charity that runs alongside the

45:42

hospital. So they help us with some of

45:44

the costs, but some of the costs we

45:46

just wear. So yeah,

45:49

we packed up our bags. I had to tell

45:52

work. I said, sorry, I'm going to

45:54

go get a uterus transplant. I'm going to have to

45:56

love you and leave you. BRB. Yeah.

45:58

BRB. My. husband,

46:00

Violet, my parents, my

46:03

mum and dad, we all drove

46:05

down in one car and we

46:07

stayed at Yana's parents' place because they

46:09

had an apartment for us and

46:11

obviously we were trying to reduce

46:13

costs over Christmas too because it

46:16

was so expensive. And

46:18

we checked into hospital the day prior

46:20

because we had some more sort of

46:22

tests they wanted to run and

46:24

then we met Dr. Brantstrom. He's

46:27

incredible. He's lovely. He'd

46:29

also had a recent hip surgery. So him

46:31

and my dad got along like a

46:33

house on fire, which was hilarious. How

46:37

many had he performed or is it like too

46:39

many to count kind of thing? Like had he had

46:41

a lot of success or he was still new to

46:43

doing it? I think I was here 31st or

46:45

32nd. Not really.

46:47

So somewhere in the middle. Yeah.

46:51

But I knew that a couple

46:53

of the first women that had

46:55

had the surgery were successful in carrying pregnancies

46:58

and like their children were two and three

47:00

at the time. So look, I

47:03

knew it wasn't a foolproof plan. I could

47:05

go to sleep and wake up and then

47:07

say, hey, mum's uterus just

47:09

didn't, you know, I

47:11

definitely was very aware that things could

47:14

go wrong. But I was

47:16

just trying to stay in the

47:19

right headspace because I was

47:21

nervous about surgery, obviously. Yeah.

47:25

And I was dragging mum into this

47:27

as well. So I was like, let's just

47:30

do this together. We'll see how we go. You

47:33

know, this is going to be the hard part, the

47:35

surgery, but we're surrounded by people that

47:37

want this to work. You know,

47:39

I've just had a good feeling about it.

47:42

So my dad and my

47:44

husband went back to the unit and they went

47:46

to sleep. And then the next day the

47:48

nurses were waking mum up at 5.30 and

47:51

she was allowed one piece of toast. She

47:53

scrubbed up for surgery. She went and had a shower.

47:56

And then me, Jana and mum

47:58

walked out. down to

48:00

the surgical operating theatre and they popped

48:02

her on a bed and I

48:05

got to wave goodbye to her and

48:07

yeah, she was in surgery for 10

48:09

to 12 hours. It wasn't until

48:12

about midday they needed me in.

48:14

So it was a big

48:16

surgery before I even got put under. So they

48:19

put mum to sleep, they open her

48:21

up, they need to

48:23

keep veins and arteries. I

48:25

was going to say it would be

48:27

different to a regular hysterectomy, right? Yeah,

48:29

because we need it

48:31

to survive in me, we

48:34

need arteries and veins. So

48:36

it was a very, very

48:38

delicate surgery and when

48:40

they removed it, they also had someone

48:43

in there taking photos. I think it

48:45

was Neil or Jana taking photos and

48:48

the uterus is such a cool,

48:50

amazing organ. It looks

48:53

like a little deflated octopus. It

48:55

was like the size of, it

48:57

was, it's in the palm of

48:59

someone's hand. Like it's incredible

49:01

the way it's the amount it can

49:03

grow and shrink and yeah, heart

49:05

surgery move over. Uterus transplants are

49:07

the new thing. Like this is

49:10

incredible surgery and they flush it

49:12

and make sure that it's

49:14

working and then they put me to sleep. Is

49:17

it her fallopian tubes or yours? They

49:19

don't even attach it to anything. So

49:21

it's just attached by those. So I

49:23

did have tubes. You don't need to

49:25

attach the ovaries, I guess. You don't

49:27

need to ovulate into it. Yeah. Correct.

49:30

So it's just helping there with like

49:32

my pelvic floor and the arteries and

49:34

the veins. And yeah,

49:37

I wake up in recovery and I remember Matt

49:39

standing over the top of me and Bec's

49:42

beside me and I just,

49:44

I remember being like, mum, mum, where's mum?

49:46

And then they pointed and she was on

49:49

the other side of recovery, but she was

49:51

asleep and I was like, yes, like mum's

49:53

there and Bec's like, it's been successful. Like

49:55

you have your uterus, you have your mum's

49:58

uterus. And then I just fell back. Wait,

50:02

How good today So long after

50:05

A D L Helen? just away

50:07

before you. Tried to get pregnant.

50:09

I got a natural period.

50:12

Thirty. Three days later.

50:14

Wow. Uterus as smart as an

50:16

are so you ever see you've

50:19

got like a cervix and national

50:21

attack. So I have my mom

50:23

survey. Be have as are you

50:25

have a survey site I received that your. Mom

50:28

survey and so you get

50:30

your period now? Yep! Who.

50:32

Not now because you're pregnant. A sign

50:34

of fallopian tubes? I get

50:37

the lining to said here.

50:39

Thursday just float around and

50:41

is all. But. A

50:43

com the line incorrect is what still

50:45

needs to shed every I mean that

50:47

food in the I have. Sex with

50:49

new can get pregnant know? correct?

50:51

Way Yeah. So.

50:54

I had. My. Period at

50:56

thirty two day. And.

50:59

Then we tried for a

51:01

transfer at the whole month

51:03

mark and. To a site

51:05

on. A blood test came

51:08

back and I'm pregnant. First time

51:10

around says guy, oh my god

51:12

and that's the baby inside right

51:14

now. The uterus. You even Yes,

51:16

my brother. Snow.

51:20

Or young yet and I'm not a

51:22

little boy. see what he the boy

51:24

named now right is still the same.

51:27

My name's been was the you that

51:29

but I keep saying it's pilots alternate

51:31

name like that mileage may my my

51:33

new bad bet on yeah I'm stoked.

51:35

we were told at Seventeen week that

51:38

will having a girl by ultrasounds am

51:40

I couldn't do that and am Pt

51:42

test a close. I've got

51:44

my mom say in a my dna

51:46

and the maybe they and I believe

51:48

it could throw out a around and

51:51

without saying that I'm behind me as

51:53

something that wasn't quite right though he

51:55

did not did an Rpg test, So.

51:58

we waited to see by ultrasound And

52:00

at first at 17 and five, they

52:02

said, oh, you're having a girl. So

52:04

that was amazing. And

52:06

then it was 21 or

52:08

20 weeks, I went back for

52:11

another scan and we saw

52:13

a big leg spread and we saw this little

52:16

doodle there and it was great. I

52:18

couldn't stop laughing. I think the poor

52:20

lady doing the ultrasound, I think she

52:22

was so worried that I was panicked,

52:25

like that I was upset, but I didn't

52:27

stop laughing because I was there

52:29

by myself, Nick was at work and we'd already

52:32

joked about what if it was a boy. And

52:35

I just thought he wasn't going to believe

52:37

me and I just couldn't stop laughing. I

52:39

just thought it was the funniest thing because

52:41

we were almost through the whole ultrasound

52:43

and we'd been saying she,

52:45

her head, her neck, her

52:47

arms, her tummy. We've done all

52:49

this. Yeah.

52:53

Her penis. Hang on.

52:55

It was just, yeah, it was just, it's

52:58

been incredible. And so what

53:00

have you had to do differently during

53:03

pregnancy? I'm high

53:05

risk, very high risk. So I

53:07

take anti-rejection drugs to stop my

53:09

body, stop my immune system

53:11

from attacking the uterus. So

53:14

I take tablets, I probably take like 10

53:16

tablets in the morning and 10 tablets at

53:18

night and they're a mixture of

53:20

anti-rejection. I'm on

53:22

pregnancy alone. I'm on things to help me

53:25

go to the toilet. Then I'm on things

53:27

to stop me from having heartburn or reflops

53:30

and antiviral. Like the list goes on. So

53:32

you're on a lot of drugs, but they're

53:34

all safe in pregnancy. Are

53:36

they drugs that you'd be on regardless

53:39

of being pregnant or not so that

53:41

your uterus wouldn't be rejected? Correct. So

53:43

the second I have this uterus

53:45

removed, which, which I will, will

53:48

happen because the only function of

53:50

the uterus is to carry a baby. And

53:52

once I'm, you know, feel like

53:54

I've finished my family, I can have

53:56

that removed And then I can go

53:58

off all these drugs, which. Hr? Yeah, Why?

54:01

scenery that the luxury of.

54:04

These old in his if you have

54:06

a long transplant, a liver transplant. You

54:08

know you have to say only shot or not all my.

54:11

Life and didn't really affect the

54:13

way you live your life whereas.

54:16

At least stage I'm very lucky that

54:18

hopefully it in a be quite short

54:20

term And yeah I'll go off these

54:22

drugs and have my family and the

54:24

needs of United on to someone else

54:26

know. Unfortunately I I I think that

54:28

would be among the Us allies. Yeah,

54:31

I think mom would be stoves

54:33

if we could tape it years

54:35

ago. Him: Nor. Unfortunately, yeah,

54:37

ostomy. It's. Down and you're done.

54:39

Off to this on right? You're not

54:41

gonna use it again. I. Really wanted

54:44

to have three children. My husband got

54:46

two siblings that bought. With.

54:48

Just seems so good. Like

54:50

nice to have just. Been.

54:54

Gone so well that. Yet

54:56

near miles and and I were talking

54:58

about him site kind of ieds it's

55:01

I I target as I'm getting to

55:03

the end of this pregnancy is everything

55:05

getting hot are a part of The

55:07

meanwhile it's harder for me to look

55:09

after my my Violet as I just

55:11

don't know how I'd go with. Two.

55:14

Children and having I've heard of a lot of

55:16

the point man I've been a lot of time

55:18

in a pharmacy. I were times I knew that

55:21

we just a show diabetes this time round which

55:23

I didn't have a pilot. I'm sticking

55:25

needles into myself again so. You know,

55:28

I would love to have as bad

55:30

but I just I don't I don't

55:32

think that will happen for our family.

55:35

and what's the plan with birth to

55:37

their in section and how do you

55:39

feel about having another says areas. Of

55:41

because it's dealing with things week to week. And

55:43

now that were. You. Know booking dates

55:46

and stations especially. Then I'm talking about

55:48

what it would look like to have

55:50

this is Eric section and actually getting

55:52

a bit more. Not as. I.

55:54

as made in applications the hospital and i'm

55:56

hoping to have for my mom and my

55:59

husband in there But we just have to say,

56:01

because there's already lots of other specialists in there. The

56:04

hematologist has got things, you know, everyone sort

56:06

of got a finger in the pie because

56:08

I've got, I'm covered by so many teams.

56:11

So I'll just be guided by them.

56:13

But yeah, I'm, I just,

56:15

hopefully I can stay awake the whole time.

56:17

Hopefully baby comes out and he's screaming and

56:19

he's pink and he's happy. Um,

56:21

because he, I will be giving birth slightly early.

56:23

He will be 37 weeks, but

56:27

yeah, hopefully it's just going to be

56:29

a whole different story this time around.

56:31

Oh my goodness. Will they take the

56:33

uterus then or that'll be a surgery

56:35

later? Correct. I had the option of

56:37

having it, but I would need to be

56:39

put under for that. And I

56:42

didn't want to risk a longer surgery

56:44

and having a postpartum hemorrhage or

56:46

something happening and me not

56:48

being able to be there. I'm, I

56:51

really am excited for that golden hour

56:53

and you experience breastfeeding. And because I

56:55

am, I do have the

56:57

gestational diabetes. I'm really aware of baby's

56:59

sugars. So he's going to need colostrum

57:01

and things like that. So I

57:03

just want to be there. I just want to be with my

57:06

baby. You are

57:09

so excited. You are absolutely

57:11

incredible. What a journey you

57:14

have been through. But I

57:16

honestly, I just love

57:18

your spirit and your, yeah.

57:20

You're just a bear. Yeah.

57:23

Oh, look, I, um, I'm sure you've had your

57:26

moments where you're not as casual about

57:28

it as you are right now and

57:30

as positive. I think it's

57:32

just helped having that family

57:34

support. Having the doctors around

57:37

me to keep seeing really focused

57:39

because they're just so

57:41

knowledgeable, you know, Dr. Dean's, this

57:43

was her dream to be

57:46

able to provide this, this service, you

57:48

know, to, to women in the future.

57:50

Dr. Yana Peatman is one of the

57:52

most passionate women you'll ever say to

57:54

when it comes to fertility, I think

57:58

obviously I had a little bit of that. in me

58:01

before everything happened, but it's

58:04

definitely been fostered by the

58:06

people around me. My husband's

58:08

always encouraging me. My mum holding my hand

58:10

the whole way. Nick's

58:13

parents always supporting us. My brother and

58:15

sister-in-law. I couldn't have done this without

58:17

the people around me, but then also

58:20

the clinical trial. It's just, yeah.

58:22

Yeah. Have they done any more

58:24

since you? Yes. In

58:27

Australia, another hospital has done one and

58:29

then the Royal Women's has also done

58:31

a second in March and

58:35

not spoiling anyone else's news, but the

58:37

lady that went second for me, she's

58:39

doing very, very well. So it's looking

58:42

like the research. She's glowing. Yes.

58:45

But the research and the clinical trial is, yeah. It's

58:48

amazing. It's amazing. I

58:50

can't wait to think that when

58:52

Violet is of an age

58:54

when she's thinking about extending her, like starting

58:56

a family, that there's just going to be

58:58

so many more options for her. And

59:01

it's just, science is incredible. Medicine

59:03

is amazing. You know, people have said

59:06

this before. People often try

59:08

and tell me what a miracle this is, but

59:10

this isn't a miracle. This is science. This is

59:12

people's hard work. And I

59:14

can't imagine what 2033 is going to look like.

59:17

Oh, I've got goosebumps. This

59:20

is so good. Oh,

59:22

well thank you so much for your

59:24

time today. Thank you so much for

59:26

getting her down for a nap. No

59:28

worries. I've been so excited. I

59:30

used to, I used to get

59:32

very nervous sharing because I didn't

59:34

want to scare anyone and I

59:37

didn't want to put anyone off.

59:39

But I think it, especially, I

59:41

mean, both of your podcasts, it's

59:43

important to share stories. It's important

59:45

to acknowledge other people's experiences and

59:47

we can do it all together.

59:49

It doesn't discount someone else's beautiful

59:52

physiological birth. We're

59:55

all women. We can all support each other. And

59:57

yeah, thank you very much for inviting me on. Yeah.

1:00:00

It's been an absolute honor to share

1:00:02

your story. So thank you so much.

1:00:04

You're amazing. Thank you. Thanks

1:00:07

ladies. No worries. Bye. Thank

1:00:10

you so much for listening to this week's episode of Behind

1:00:12

the Bump. If you loved today's episode, you can head to

1:00:14

our Facebook group, Behind the Bump, where you

1:00:16

can join in the conversation, find support and

1:00:18

so much more. It's linked in the show

1:00:21

notes. Until next week.