0:01

Hey boo hey, it's me, X Mayo.

0:03

I'm a comedian, writer, producer, and

0:06

taco expert. Also when it comes

0:08

to confidently managing my finances,

0:11

your girl is a beginner for sure.

0:13

So I want you to join me on the dough. Limonada

0:16

Media's new 10 episode podcast series

0:19

as I dive into better understanding the financial

0:21

trap doors that any of us could fall

0:23

into. And I've fallen, you know,

0:26

I keep on falling like Alicia Keys, okay?

0:28

But if you've ever stayed in a bad relationship

0:31

to avoid moving out costs or just

0:33

found yourself swimming in debt, you are not

0:36

alone. Each week I'll be exploring

0:38

all types of financial flops and money myths

0:41

that stand in the way of our financial freedom. On

0:44

this show, cash is

0:46

queen. We hardly know her,

0:48

but baby, we are determined to be

0:50

her best friend. The dough

0:52

is out now wherever you get your

0:54

podcasts.

0:57

Meet Jeanette McCurdy. She's an author,

0:59

a writer, and a big feeler. So

1:02

much so that she's making a podcast all about

1:04

her feelings. Jeanette's memoir, I'm

1:06

Glad My Mom Died, welcomed the world into

1:08

the story of Jeanette and all of the intense life

1:10

experiences that molded her into the person she

1:12

is today. But how does she manage all of the

1:14

messy, hard feelings she's feeling right now?

1:17

In each episode of Hard Feelings, her

1:19

new podcast with Limonada Media, she'll

1:21

tell you all about it. Jealousy, shame,

1:24

social anxiety. She wants to laugh about

1:26

it, cry about it, and work through it with you by

1:28

her side. Why? These hard

1:30

feelings are a big part of the human condition.

1:32

They unite us all, but only once

1:34

we're willing to face them. Hard Feelings is out

1:37

on October 24th wherever you get your podcasts.

1:41

Limonada. Hey, listeners.

1:47

I'm excited to let you

1:49

know about The Dough, Limonada Media's

1:51

new 10-episode financial podcast series

1:53

hosted by comedian and producer Xmyo.

1:57

If you've ever stayed in a bad relationship to

1:59

avoid move-out costs or found yourself

2:01

swimming in debt, you're not alone. Join

2:04

host Xmayo as she explores

2:06

all types of financial flops and money myths

2:08

in today's society that stand in the way of our

2:10

financial freedom. On this show,

2:13

Cash is Queen. We hardly know

2:15

her, but we're determined to be her friend. You're

2:17

about to hear the first episode of The Doe. After

2:20

you listen, search for The Doe in your podcast tab

2:22

to hear the second episode. You can also find

2:24

a link in the show notes that will take you there.

2:28

The Doe is a production of Lemonada Media,

2:30

created in partnership with Flourish Ventures.

2:34

It's going to be 10 years and I still want my

2:36

money. I Googled him the other day to

2:38

see like where he was, but it didn't tell me. I

2:40

was trying to see if I could pen pal him, but

2:43

I could not find

2:45

him. That motherfucker.

2:48

That motherfucker we're talking about, Jason Stevens.

2:51

He was our boss and now

2:53

he's a convicted criminal. If

2:56

you lived in New York City 10 years ago,

2:58

you might remember this crazy story. Jason

3:01

owned rebar. It was an all in one

3:03

wedding venue, a rare gem in Brooklyn.

3:05

Maybe the view, my God, for 15 to 20

3:08

K you could get two proteins,

3:10

two sides, cupcakes, and

3:12

an open bar. Both the rhymes lived

3:14

across the street. We had DJ, flowers,

3:17

security. The list goes on and on all

3:19

at a biomass venue under the Brooklyn bridge.

3:22

I mean, $15,000 you guys.

3:24

That is affordable as far as weddings go in

3:26

New York City, even 10 years ago. I

3:29

worked as a hostess at rebar back then. It was

3:31

a good time and it paid well,

3:34

but just like Elon's relationship

3:36

with rhymes, it all came to a

3:39

sudden end and I didn't get any money.

3:41

Neither did she. One

3:44

day the venue closed down and Jason

3:46

disappeared.

3:48

A lot of people lost money and hundreds

3:50

of couples y'all. They were scrambling to organize

3:52

a new wedding with money they didn't

3:55

have. And my coworkers and

3:57

I child, we wasn't no better. We was left

3:58

high and dry.

4:06

I'm Danielle Scali Garcia

4:09

and why we're talking is because Jason

4:11

Stevens stole our money.

4:13

I'm Edgar and I'm

4:15

also here about the Jason... I'm still holding

4:18

this grudge. I know it's been a while now, I gotta let

4:20

it go.

4:22

And I'm X Mayo. You're listening

4:24

to The Do, where Cash is queen.

4:27

And I hardly know that bitch, but we gonna figure her

4:29

out together. We're

4:33

diving deep into the stories surrounding the moolah,

4:35

the good, the bad and the unexpected. We're

4:38

talking about it all, including

4:40

the sometimes messy relationship we have with

4:42

money. Because if we don't, we're

4:45

never gonna get out of our own way.

4:51

No more sweeping that shit under

4:53

the rug.

4:54

And I'm right here with y'all. Child, I'm

4:56

still trying to figure out how to get what's coming to me. You hear

4:58

that Jason Stevens? The

5:01

good news is y'all, I've come a long

5:03

way since my early days as a hostess in New

5:05

York. I actually

5:08

have a bad day now. I know, I know, 1% that's

5:11

fake. My ass is so fresh and

5:13

so clean, clean, child. I swear when I get up,

5:15

it squeaks. I said, wait, wait, is that me? That's

5:18

all I mean. And you're probably wondering,

5:21

who the fuck is this? Who

5:23

am I listening to? I'm gonna tell you. Okay,

5:28

I'm an actor, writer, producer, and

5:30

you might have seen me on a little show called Swarm

5:33

starring Dominique Fishback. But y'all

5:35

life hasn't always been like, you know, just

5:37

like pressed and touring the blackening

5:39

in American auto, you know, NBC

5:42

network comedy shows. No, no, no, no. When

5:44

I showed up to The Daily Show for my interview, I

5:47

had 67 cents in my

5:49

account. Babe, nothing. Okay. And

5:51

that's because when I moved to New York City as a 26 year

5:54

old, I only had $80 and a

5:56

suitcase. Yes, I was hustling. I had

5:58

to move to the 24 times

6:00

in eight years just to afford rent. And

6:03

what I learned through that process was how to downsize,

6:06

how to strip my belongings to the bare necessities.

6:09

If you don't hear nothing else, I say, community

6:12

is currency. I'm telling you,

6:14

the reason I was able to even eat so

6:16

many times was because of the relationships I created

6:18

with Bodegas. I was like, yo, hold me down,

6:21

okay? Let me eat Monday through Thursday. I'll pay you on

6:23

Friday. But it ain't easy

6:25

because there's so many cultural expectations

6:27

about what we as women are supposed to

6:29

be spending our money on. And

6:32

we're gonna be talking about a lot of them this

6:34

season. Like weddings,

6:36

ooh! Talk about the pressure to

6:38

spend. That's why in this

6:40

episode, we're recapping what happened at

6:43

my former workplace, the wedding venue,

6:45

Rebar. Let's have a moment of silence. Because

6:50

y'all, that shit show really offered a glimpse

6:52

into the wedding industry as a whole. And

6:54

also the expectations around that big expensive-ass

6:57

day, what we choose to spend our money

7:00

on, and why. And we'll

7:02

even offer you some tips on how to throw a different

7:04

kind of wedding, an affordable one. The

7:07

kind that won't leave you in debt like me back

7:09

in 2014. Ciao. So

7:12

let's realize.

7:13

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.

7:16

Back to when that Rebar business was

7:18

Metro

7:19

Boomin'. Oh.

7:23

Well, when I first started, I

7:26

think it took about six months before

7:28

I started doing weddings. And the pay was

7:31

like ridiculous. We were making

7:34

anywhere from 400 to 600 a wedding. And

7:38

if you worked three weddings that week and you're

7:40

making bank, Rebar wasn't your typical, like

7:45

fine dining experience kind of wedding. It wasn't

7:47

all like, super classy, you know, we all, you know, have our,

7:52

yeah, we had our uniform, but for the most part, it

7:54

was a very, very laid back environment. It

8:00

made me, you know, appreciate weddings.

8:03

I've never been to a wedding, so I

8:05

never experienced it before. But

8:08

working them, you will see the different

8:10

relationships and different dynamics

8:12

and then, you know, different setups, see whether

8:14

they were straight relationships, gay relationships,

8:17

you know. We are relationships because I think we had

8:19

like a little goth one one time, you know.

8:21

Yeah, we did. You know, so it's like these different

8:23

experiences.

8:25

I had been to weddings, but you know, white weddings are

8:27

not the most fun weddings

8:29

on the planet. Like they listen to like Journey

8:31

and like

8:33

these like ridiculous songs. Oh, they love

8:35

them a little hip-hop compilation when

8:37

they go to In the Club to

8:40

It Lo, to Nalizo. You

8:43

know they love them with a hip-hop compilation. Yeah,

8:46

exactly. I can die without hearing because

8:48

I'm happy. I'm good with that. I'm

8:51

good at marrying me or I'm good

8:54

with the book. Yeah, there's a bunch

8:56

of songs that were like this one again,

8:59

this one again. Yeah. We

9:01

heard that every weekend, bro. Every

9:04

fucking weekend. Yes. Yeah.

9:07

But I think it was cool because we were like, I

9:10

feel like one of the first places that probably

9:12

did same sex

9:13

weddings. I don't remember it being like a real

9:16

thing other than at rebar. And I think for

9:19

the most part, they would work with people's

9:21

budget.

9:22

Yeah. You know, to try to make it, you

9:24

know, the most enjoyable for them.

9:26

Yeah, the most enjoyable for them. Until

9:29

it all imploded, of course. Rebar

9:31

offered couples who paid up front a 5% discount.

9:35

It also offered a discount for people who paid by

9:37

cash or check. And so a lot of them

9:39

did. They wrote big checks in exchange

9:41

for cheaper weddings.

9:43

And at least at first, you know,

9:46

when I was taking cash money, you

9:49

know, none of us had any indication that

9:51

that shit was about to hit the fan. I

9:53

was busy being a dope ass hostess, you

9:55

know, mingling with the guests, doing the most.

9:57

And they were doing the most.

10:00

I Remember

10:03

a

10:03

wedding guest a woman

10:06

who got so drunk and I had to hold

10:08

her hair and her dress

10:11

While she threw up. Mmm

10:12

as the host you see a lot of shit because they

10:14

kept talking me coming back to me Oh, yeah, they would come

10:16

back there. Yeah, and I would get all the drama like

10:19

the mama be like I really don't want to marry I'm

10:21

but you know, okay, right here. Can I get a shot like,

10:23

you know, like you used to get

10:25

all the tea back there. Mm-hmm And

10:29

So while I was busy going above and beyond

10:31

for my guests my boss was busy

10:33

going above and beyond with my money Five

10:36

months before the venue closed in May 2014 weird

10:39

shit started to pop up Egger

10:42

actually got tipped off from a customer

10:44

We had a customer point out something

10:46

on the receipt and that was the first

10:48

time that I was like, okay Something is just not right

10:51

here He was saying

10:53

your receipts doesn't reflect what taxes

10:56

should be Cuz there was

10:58

the purchase that he had I think it was like 20

11:00

something and it only show a dollar in

11:03

tax and Then he he

11:05

let me know he's like, oh, you know I worked for

11:07

the IRS and this doesn't this

11:09

is not supposed to be set up this way

11:11

like this The taxes aren't taken out properly

11:14

and I think that was the first time that I was like, oh something

11:17

It's going down now and

11:19

then that's when this whole everything

11:22

just started free-falling from there You

11:24

know, yeah, I felt like I

11:26

felt like it was gonna be a matter of time You know when you

11:28

have that instinct like all shit. She's

11:31

about to hit the fan I just didn't

11:33

think it was gonna come that fast, you know,

11:35

like it really took us by surprise

11:38

And so our salary started to dwindle

11:41

we went from getting paid in cash To

11:43

getting paid by check and then the amount

11:46

and those checks got smaller and smaller I

11:48

mean y'all for real it went from $600 a

11:50

wedding to $50 a wedding. No joke Sometimes

11:54

the paycheck wouldn't come at all. I'm just like what

11:57

are we getting paid in air? What the hell is

11:59

this? And we'd be left in the

12:01

dark waiting. And

12:03

then of course there was no more waiting because it

12:05

all crystallized. My

12:11

former coworkers and I remember it just like it

12:13

was yesterday.

12:15

I went into work that morning. I

12:17

was opening. And you know,

12:19

it's one of those days when you just feel like

12:21

you're not about it. Like, I don't wanna fucking do this

12:23

today. I just want this day

12:26

off. And then it turned out it was indefinite.

12:29

I have many days off. You

12:31

had the rest of your life off. So

12:35

when I went in, it

12:37

was closed, right? They had the fence

12:39

and everything. And the news got out.

12:42

We started having couples coming in asking

12:45

about their money. I think

12:47

the hardest part is working in the industry

12:50

like this and

12:51

something like this happens and you

12:54

not feel somewhat guilty

12:56

about it, even though it's not your fault.

12:58

You know what I'm saying? Because they're coming to you

13:01

and you feel like in a one way or another, you're

13:03

accountable for the fact that they lost

13:05

all this money, you know? And I think

13:07

it was such a coward move that he

13:09

just decided to run rather than just face

13:12

it and face everybody, you know?

13:16

That coward disappeared and left a note

13:18

outside rebar on a piece of

13:21

computer paper with simple black font.

13:23

It was really disrespectful. It just was giving Ariel.

13:26

You know, he couldn't give us a script, empty bowl, nothing. And

13:28

it read, rebar is closed and bankrupt.

13:31

Do not enter. But the people

13:33

who knew they had just lost tens of thousands

13:35

of dollars in their covenant wedding day, oh

13:37

baby, they're interested. Let me tell y'all,

13:39

this shit was wild. People

13:42

was grabbing liquor bottles, bar

13:43

stools, cash registers, they said, I'm leaving

13:46

here something. Child, the lesbians came in

13:48

there, the lesbians supposed to get married. They didn't took the register.

13:50

Child, you do not want to piss off no lesbians

13:52

who supposed to get married. Child, they just was able

13:54

to get married. And now you have to pay money. Whoo,

13:58

y'all, it was crazy. Everything

14:04

was stripped. People were like, I'm going to get my money

14:07

one way or another for sure. And

14:10

then I remember Dina on the

14:12

news, her talking about it, and that

14:14

phone ringing nonstop

14:15

for 48 hours.

14:18

They're supposed to be happy couples, but

14:20

they're raging mad, blaming

14:23

this man for closing up a popular wedding

14:25

venue and taking off with their money.

14:28

These things are among our most sacred milestones,

14:30

but what if nearly 200 couples ready

14:32

to walk the aisle lost not only

14:34

their wedding venue, but tens of thousands

14:37

of dollars each? Believe it or not, it

14:39

can happen to you.

14:40

Despite the customers having these contracts,

14:43

hundreds of thousands of dollars in deposits

14:45

are now gone. We do not know why

14:47

he did what he did.

14:50

No warning, no single signs,

14:52

no anything.

14:53

We want justice!

15:03

And then literally I had $30 to

15:06

my name to go to Europe because he

15:09

owed me a little over five grand, I think. But

15:12

thankfully I had an amazing roommate at the time

15:14

that held me down for rent

15:16

that month and then the next month because I was going

15:18

to be in Europe and then I wasn't

15:20

coming back to a job. I came back and in a week

15:22

I got two jobs and

15:23

I was just hustling. But it was really

15:25

difficult because my best friend, I don't know if you

15:28

all remember, she had just moved there.

15:29

Yeah, of course, a matter of a few times.

15:32

Yeah,

15:32

and so we were sleeping head to foot

15:34

in

15:34

this room in Brooklyn.

15:35

We would alternate who would get the air mattress

15:37

every other night and we didn't even have an AC.

15:40

We had a little fan on our feet like we were hustling.

15:43

And so for that to happen, I just

15:46

felt like I let her down too. I'm like, fuck, I

15:48

thought I was going to be able to help my best friend

15:50

transition to New York and now she's doing amazing,

15:52

thank God. But yeah, it was a very,

15:54

very fucking scary time when

15:56

that happened. Yeah.

16:00

In the end, the New York Times reported

16:02

that 35 rebar employees lost

16:05

wages. Like I said, I

16:07

was out five grand and was also on my way

16:09

to France with $30 to my name. I

16:12

was headed to the Cannes Film Festival for

16:14

an internship. And yeah, my

16:16

ticket was already paid for in housing,

16:19

but a girl's got to eat. And so I asked for

16:21

help. Shout out to the women. All the women

16:23

that were in my internship, they held me down.

16:25

They knew everything that was going on. I kept sending them articles

16:28

and they all decided collectively

16:30

that they would hold me down. So I

16:32

made it work. But of

16:35

course, it wasn't just us gig workers who

16:37

were scrambling to get our money back. About 200

16:40

rebar couples lost their wedding payments.

16:44

Losses were as high as 34,000 per couple. That's 34,000

16:47

Americans. Remember,

16:54

a lot of these people paid upfront

16:56

in cash in exchange for discounts.

16:59

So they were out a lot of money and they were pissed.

17:03

But not only were they pissed, many

17:05

of them were now trying to plan a new wedding.

17:07

Y'all, this was pre pandemic when a wedding date was

17:10

sacred. And the shocking

17:12

thing is, y'all, the wedding industry actually

17:14

stepped up to the plate. Clap it up, please

17:16

go outside right now. Remember all we used to

17:18

do all that for the nurses? You take your pots and your pen,

17:21

you hit it right now in your balcony. Do that for the wedding

17:23

community. Because baby, they stepped

17:25

all the way up. Lots of New York

17:27

wedding venues offered their services at discounted

17:30

prices. And some people, like

17:32

my lovely coworker, Edgar, who

17:34

was out over a grand, actually volunteered

17:37

to work at some of them for free.

17:40

We were happy to help out, you know,

17:42

because, you know, it was horrible. You were talking

17:44

about 20, 30, $40,000. You

17:47

know, that's a lot of money that

17:49

you've invested into this. Per head.

17:52

Per, yeah, yeah. Yeah, per

17:53

head. Like the fact that, yeah,

17:55

that they were paid up all up until, you know, 2017.

17:58

And the fact that there was this. and people

18:01

like weddings and funerals,

18:03

I'm telling you, like they are so, like,

18:05

those are like monumental moments in people's

18:08

lives. You don't fucking play with that. There

18:10

were people that were coming from other states

18:12

and other countries, you guys, to get married

18:15

at Rebar. Like, just that, and here's the

18:17

thing, and I'm not saying it's just because

18:18

y'all are on this call right now and

18:20

on this show,

18:21

but we really made Rebar

18:23

what it was. If you take all the workers

18:25

out of it, it's not the fucking

18:27

same. That was really the draw.

18:30

Like, of course there's a venue there and all

18:32

of that, but it's fucking New York City. You can find

18:34

plenty of fucking popping ass venues, but

18:37

it was like us.

18:38

Yeah.

18:41

And meanwhile, my boss, Jason Stevens,

18:43

was on the run. He disappeared

18:46

for a whole week before turning himself

18:48

in. He was eventually charged

18:50

with tax fraud and grand larceny.

18:52

He took a plea deal, went

18:54

to prison, and was sentenced for three and a half

18:56

to 10 years. But guess what, guys?

18:59

Surprise, surprise. He served

19:01

less than the minimum, a little over

19:03

two years. Jason got out on

19:05

parole in 2017.

19:07

The good news is he was banned

19:09

for life from working in the restaurant industry in

19:12

New York City. But child, that make

19:14

me nervous, because he could go to Utah. Y'all,

19:17

what if he comes to LA?

19:19

Jesus, please.

19:21

The bad news is none of us gig

19:23

workers ever saw a die

19:26

of what he owed us. And to our knowledge,

19:28

Jason Stevens didn't pay back any of those

19:30

rebar couples either, including

19:33

one bride who we'll hear from after

19:35

this break.

19:40

Evidence-wise, we have virtually

19:42

no evidence.

19:43

In 1995, Detective Tony Richardson was

19:47

trying to figure out who killed a

19:49

fellow officer. The case comes

19:52

down to who is believed and who

19:54

is ignored. Oh my goodness, we

19:56

did connect an

19:57

innocent man.

19:58

I'm Beth Shelburne.

21:57

who'd

22:00

had their fucking weddings there. It wasn't like

22:02

so fly by the night. Wedding

22:05

tip number one. If

22:08

it sounds too good to be true, hey, it

22:10

probably is. When you're dropping

22:13

thousands of dollars for one day, ask

22:15

a lot of questions. Be on

22:17

high alert

22:18

and read the fine print and contracts.

22:20

I don't care how small it is, baby, tell them jumbo

22:23

size, bring it to me on a big

22:25

Uno card and then I read it. I don't give

22:27

a damn, you're paying your money.

22:29

But in Ashland's defense,

22:32

that all inclusive open bar was a hard

22:34

sale.

22:37

And I knew that I had family and friends

22:39

coming from Ireland and I was like, I am not paying

22:41

for them to get drunk. Honey, the Irish

22:43

don't do open bar

22:44

weddings for obvious reasons.

22:47

Okay. It's not a thing. You have to

22:49

pay for your booze after dinner. So

22:51

like all of my Irish friends were also like super

22:53

excited to come to wedding in the United States when

22:56

they did not have to pay

22:56

for their alcohol.

22:58

The Irish need their liquor,

23:00

baby. They're Jameson. They need it all.

23:03

And so it was set. The

23:05

wedding was slated for August 2014. Ashling

23:08

and her husband booked it 18 months in advance.

23:11

And what we did, we sent her a check every

23:13

month so that we were essentially paid

23:16

for the wedding by the time the wedding

23:17

rolled around. Wedding tip

23:19

numero dos. Now

23:23

repeat after me. Do

23:25

not, hey, you listen,

23:28

wait till I'm done. Okay. Jumping a gun.

23:31

Do not pay in cash or

23:33

check. Use a credit card

23:35

people, because that's easier to dispute

23:37

if shit goes left.

23:39

Those cash in check discounts that rebar

23:41

was offering. Child,

23:42

it was all smoke and mirrors.

23:44

Okay.

23:46

So, so tell me Ashlyn, how did

23:49

you find out that it had closed?

23:50

Oh my God. Gothamist.

23:52

My husband and I both read it. So

23:54

read it. Right. They're

23:56

so, they literally top of the morning.

23:58

7th, would you like to make a statement? I said phone. Oh, who

24:00

now for what? Yeah.

24:02

So

24:04

my husband like I emailed me at work and

24:06

he was like, uh, did you see this? And I was

24:08

like, fuck no, I did not. So we

24:11

went, we, when we finished work that day, we went over to rebar

24:14

and actually there's an interview with us with

24:16

some local TV news station. Please

24:18

don't look it up. I felt like a complete and fucking moron.

24:21

I think we're also in the daily news. There's

24:23

a picture of us. I look like destroyed

24:25

to tell you the truth, which is quite funny. And

24:28

so you finally closed through Gotham and then

24:30

what was your first

24:30

reaction when you found out? Well, obviously you were at work

24:33

too.

24:34

Um, kind of honestly, like disbelief,

24:37

like that can't actually be the case. And

24:39

then like when we went there, like that night

24:41

after work, like it really sank in because I

24:43

think everybody was like, no, no, he's like really gone.

24:45

He's like fucked off. Like he's gone.

24:53

So that was your first reaction.

24:55

And then how you said, how much money do you do? Like 16 grand?

25:00

15, 16 grand somewhere in there. Honey. It

25:02

gone. We never got any of it back. Yeah.

25:04

Yeah. And we'd almost finished paying for it. Like

25:06

we did a lot of legwork to see if there's anything we

25:08

could do. And because we had just sent in a check every fricking

25:11

month, we were shit out of luck. If we

25:13

ever see him, it's going to be a misunderstanding.

25:19

So Ashling had three months to plan a

25:22

new wedding with money she didn't have. To

25:24

make matters worse, her husband lost

25:26

his job not too long after rebar went bankrupt

25:29

and he already splurged on a $600 outfit

25:32

for the big day.

25:33

We had splashed out for

25:35

like a custom made suit. And I remember

25:37

as soon as the wedding shit went down,

25:40

he kept losing weight. And every

25:42

time he went in for a fitting, they were pulling

25:44

in that waist like inches. Like

25:47

he lost so much weight that

25:49

like the guy who was like our helper

25:51

guy was like, yeah, can you like not

25:53

lose any more weight? You're going to lose the entire

25:55

shape of this suit at some point. It

25:57

was just so stressful that every time he would go in, like.

25:59

They were literally like taking it in

26:02

inches. It was just like this very

26:04

like Visceral and visual

26:07

like a fact of everything that had gone down over

26:09

that three months Ashley

26:10

like it was just awful It was like

26:12

an awful three months. So at that time,

26:15

what was your biggest concern? We

26:18

had to find another venue for the wedding because like honestly

26:20

everybody was coming from abroad

26:22

or like across the United States So we couldn't reschedule

26:25

like it has to go forward on the date. That

26:27

was already in motion So like the

26:30

wheels was essentially like math like,

26:32

you know Movement of everybody that could just

26:34

to get it on the phone googling Just to

26:36

see what other venues in New York were available

26:39

that could actually accommodate a wedding on

26:41

the same day And it wouldn't break the bank

26:48

Wedding tip number three Always

26:52

have homies on hand who you can rely on

26:54

when things don't go as planned because

26:56

chances are Something will happen

26:59

Hopefully not as extreme as this but as

27:02

I said before your community is

27:04

everything Ashling and

27:06

her friends called around and they actually found

27:08

a venue to accommodate them on the same day

27:11

It was called India

27:12

house located in downtown Manhattan.

27:15

They had just changed caters

27:17

they had a new catering company that was in and they were

27:19

trying to drum up business and interest and

27:22

so they said they Would do it for us for like a real

27:24

deal. They essentially for 10 grand Gave

27:27

us unlimited booze and a really nice buffet

27:30

dinner, which is unheard of and I know

27:32

now the place of must do like It must be three

27:34

or four times the cost to do a wedding there. Oh my god.

27:36

Yeah gorgeous We walked we really

27:38

lucked out. Yeah, but it was still

27:41

an extra 10 grand So

27:43

they cut corners where they could

27:45

they canceled their rehearsal dinner. They said

27:47

child. Listen, you know how to fucking walk Everybody

27:49

walking in line go to your side and you

27:51

go to your side. We don't need to do all that We

27:54

canceled the rehearsal didn't they bought flowers

27:56

from Costco and their parents ended up chipping

27:58

in some cash to make it happen

29:59

It's all about the people and making sure

30:01

they're drunk. Really, let's be honest.

30:04

No, truly. I said that if, I

30:06

mean, it depends on where. I

30:08

haven't, I'm not with anyone

30:10

or Phil, I found my person yet. But if

30:13

that day does come, I'm just kinda like, the

30:15

wedding is really for everybody else. Like all that salmon

30:18

and chicken or beef, that's for all y'all.

30:21

And I'm paying all this money for that. Chad, I

30:23

want a house, I want a garden. I wanna be able

30:25

to travel and live in other countries

30:27

for my honeymoon.

30:29

Wedding tip number five, don't

30:31

spend that much money. Belva,

30:34

is that my business manager hopping into writing

30:36

in the script again? Because this is what she

30:38

keeps telling me. But it's easier

30:40

said than done. Am I right? Okay.

30:44

After the break, we'll take a look at how you can throw a fun

30:47

wedding without breaking the bank

30:48

for real.

30:56

pres Mohawk cause

31:13

you see in the Tim Jackson love

31:18

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31:20

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31:23

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31:25

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33:59

I would say $200,000.

34:02

Wow, $200,000? I

34:06

guess when you're surrounded by wedding extravagances,

34:08

it becomes the new normal. Damn,

34:11

OK, environment to your weddings, people. Y'all, I'm a great

34:13

guest. So

34:17

actually, the average cost of a wedding in the

34:19

state of New York just one day, next

34:21

the whole weekend, is $46,000, according

34:23

to the note. Way

34:27

less than what those New Yorkers you just heard from predicted,

34:30

but that's still a nice chunk of change. That's

34:32

like the price of your student loans or

34:34

the salary that's weaker. You know, you ask

34:36

for crazes, it's $1,500. But

34:38

it doesn't have to be like that. That's

34:41

why I talked to one self-proclaimed, thrifty

34:43

bride who got married for the Lola.

34:46

I'm talking about a tiny fraction of $46,000, and

34:49

she has some tips for you on how to get

34:51

hitched without being

34:52

richy rich. My

34:55

name is Kristen Meinzer. I live

34:57

in Brooklyn, New York. I've lived

34:59

here for over 20 years. I'm originally from

35:01

Minnesota. And I

35:04

am a podcast host

35:05

and author.

35:08

OK, so you describe yourself as thrifty. Same

35:11

girl. Oh my god. Listen, grew

35:13

up going to yard sales, all of that. Oh, I

35:15

still do the yard sales. I love them. Saturday

35:17

mornings. Let's go. Rack it up. So

35:20

since you

35:20

are

35:22

self-defined, thrift connoisseur,

35:24

when you decided to get married, what did you envision for

35:26

your wedding? Well,

35:29

my husband and I did not

35:31

have very much money at the time. But

35:34

that's OK, because neither of us dreamed

35:36

of having that $50,000 wedding. I

35:39

was reading

35:39

a quote somewhere that

35:41

in New York City, the average cost

35:43

of a wedding is like $40,000 or $50,000, which

35:46

my husband and I were like, are you freaking kidding

35:48

me? And that's if you want to go in an alleyway

35:50

or you just want to pop up at a park with some lawn

35:52

chairs. That's not even like with

35:55

all the thrills and frills. That's just base

35:57

level. We have a pastor, and you're

35:59

going to get a job. get you some punch and salmon.

36:02

That was it. Yeah. And

36:03

we were like, no, no, no, no, no.

36:06

If we

36:07

had that much money, it would not be

36:09

going

36:09

toward a party for four hours.

36:10

So I began making phone calls and

36:12

I found out very quickly that just to

36:15

get a venue can cost many, many,

36:17

many thousands of dollars to get a venue

36:19

to get married in. But then a friend

36:22

told us, you know,

36:23

you can

36:25

just get married at this

36:27

bar where I am the DJ

36:29

sometimes. This bar is

36:32

not really a venue, but they

36:34

do have the front room, which is the bar and the back

36:36

room, which is a scent. How

36:38

many drinks are they going to sell to your guests

36:40

versus four to 9 p.m.

36:43

in New York?

36:43

Oh, great. So you they make all this

36:45

money between four to nine and then you guys are out. Yes.

36:48

And we were out by nine. Oh, perfect.

36:50

And so we went to this venue, which by

36:52

the way, I just want to give a shout out to them. I love them so much.

36:55

They're called friends and lovers. And they

36:57

said, great. We we

36:59

get maybe three customers per hour between

37:02

four and nine p.m. on a typical Saturday.

37:04

So we were like, this is

37:06

meant to be let's get married here. Oh my God, I

37:08

love it.

37:12

Now we're talking. Then

37:14

you check.

37:17

Like people always think you got to book a ballroom

37:19

or whatever for a wedding. But if there's a spot

37:22

down the street, you want to show some love to they

37:24

might show you some love back. And

37:26

when it was time to send out invites, Kristen

37:29

and her fiance weren't going to waste their money on

37:31

them fancy monogrammed gold

37:33

leaf perfume lace card back bullshit.

37:37

And so we sent

37:39

out a mass email to friends. We

37:42

found

37:42

decorations on eBay. Secondhand

37:45

wedding, you know, candle votive,

37:47

a friend who was a florist offered

37:50

to do all of the additional decor

37:52

and flowers at cost. And

37:55

the music

37:55

was all just a playlist

37:58

that we had for my next spot.

37:59

Spotify or iTunes or something. And

38:02

then a lot of friends, I was, before

38:05

I got married in dozens of

38:07

weddings, I kid you not, I was like that 27 dresses

38:09

movie I had been a bridesmaid and

38:12

on set up crew and giving speeches at

38:15

so many weddings, I had spent thousands of

38:17

dollars at bachelorette

38:18

parties over the years.

38:19

And so I decided, I'm going to ask some

38:21

of the people who

38:23

I helped out at their weddings, would

38:25

you be willing to put in an hour before

38:27

the wedding to help the setup of the space?

38:32

Next step was finding a wedding photographer.

38:35

And if you know, you know, a decent

38:37

wedding photographer costs bizank

38:40

upwards of $2,000. But

38:42

once again, Christian knew a guy

38:45

who knew a guy who knew a guy.

38:48

So a friend said, Hey, I know somebody who does

38:50

conference photography and he's trying to break into

38:52

wedding photography and special events photography.

38:56

Would you be willing to take this guy who's never done a wedding

38:58

before and have him do it for like, you

39:00

know, just pay him like $100 and

39:03

we're like, okay, yeah, we'll pay him $100. He

39:06

just trying to build up his portfolio. Sure.

39:09

So our wedding photographer, I believe cost $100.

39:12

You

39:14

can't even get a bidet for $100 especially not mine,

39:16

because mine got the heated settings. Okay.

39:19

So we're going to do a little jangle once that ass is clean. Okay.

39:22

But they were helping a friend of a friend of a friend break

39:24

into the wedding game, which is amazing. Right.

39:27

And those photos turned out great. Overall,

39:31

the math on their wedding budget was looking really

39:34

good. I had to know how much they ended

39:36

up spending on the whole shebang.

39:39

So you pulled off the wedding and then

39:41

you, what budget did you guys arrive

39:43

at? And then how did you guys get to that number?

39:46

We got married

39:47

for a total of $5,000.

39:50

Love that for you.

39:51

And this includes my second

39:54

hand silk gown from the 1960s,

39:56

a beautiful blue column style kind of Jackie

39:58

O dress. It included

40:00

pizza. We ordered 50 pizzas to

40:03

feed everybody. It included the fact

40:05

that we had more

40:07

guests show up than were invited. We invited 150 guests.

40:11

And according to wedding

40:13

lore, roughly 20% of people

40:16

will decline or not be able to show up. But

40:18

for some reason at our wedding, more people showed up than we invited. I

40:20

think word of mouth spread

40:22

like... Well baby, it's friends and lovers. I mean,

40:24

come on. Everybody

40:30

was saying like, oh, are you going to Kristin and Dean's wedding?

40:32

Like friends of friends

40:33

from college told each other and they're like, oh,

40:35

I didn't know about it. I'll be there. So

40:38

we had people show up that we didn't even expect

40:40

to be there. And we did not

40:42

have an open bar at the beginning because there

40:44

are certain members of my family and

40:46

our friend group who we knew maybe

40:48

would be throwing up before the ceremony started.

40:50

So we're like, you know what? For the first 45 minutes,

40:53

you have to pay for your own drinks. After that, it's open

40:55

bar. So we did

40:57

have an open bar after the ceremony. No, that's smart

40:59

because you don't want Auntie too lit, Kristin.

41:02

And then they say, who feels these two should not be married? And

41:05

then they throw up and then they're like, oh, that's

41:07

a sign that we shouldn't... Is she anti?

41:10

And Kristin's like, no, she's just drunk. We

41:14

didn't need that. Smart girl. Yes,

41:16

you use your brain, Kristin. Thank you. And

41:18

it was open bar after the ceremony

41:19

though. Just want to make clear it was totally open bar after

41:21

that. Just not before. Yeah, no, that's... And

41:24

it's just 45 minutes. I'm like, oh, I'm getting the fuck out of here. That's

41:26

perfect. And we tried to just

41:28

make it kind of a community event for our friends,

41:31

for their lovers, for everybody. And

41:33

then when it was time for the wedding to end, everybody

41:36

chipped in and pulled down the decorations

41:38

and then we walked out the door and went to an after

41:40

party. That

41:40

was it. So

41:44

there you have it, though. It is possible

41:46

to throw an affordable wedding in New York City,

41:48

especially if you rely on your community. Friends,

41:51

local bars, your grandmama friend brother who

41:53

can offer you a discount on something.

41:55

Anything.

41:56

It really isn't about the cash you spend.

41:59

It's about the...

41:59

people who are there celebrating with you.

42:02

But that's hard to remember when you're planning,

42:05

am I right? When you're overloaded with ads

42:07

and photos of what a wedding should

42:09

look like. My advice,

42:12

prioritize.

42:13

What are your wedding non-negotiables? Flourish

42:16

on those and save money on the rest, okay?

42:19

I'm here to tell you a big expensive wedding

42:21

day will not buy you happiness. But

42:24

repeat after me,

42:25

Beyonce tickets will.

42:30

This season will be tapping

42:32

into the wisdom of experts who will help us get over our money

42:34

hang ups

42:36

and you can expect more stories from everyday people who

42:39

have turned their money mishaps around. Speaking

42:41

of, we got another episode for you. So

42:47

you got married, mm-hmm. Okay, now what? How

42:50

do you talk to your partner about money and

42:52

what happens

42:53

when you realize

42:54

you're being saved? Well, I'm not gonna lie,

42:56

I'm not gonna lie to you, when you

42:59

realize you're being financially

43:01

manipulated. It's a story

43:03

about a woman named Desiree, how she

43:05

cut ties with her husband who had been abusing his

43:07

power and her money

43:10

and their relationship.

43:11

There's no legal solution

43:13

for the fact that you married an asshole. You have

43:15

to go in and recognize

43:18

that you have to approach it like a business deal.

43:21

And that's just tough to do when you're

43:24

in the thick

43:24

of healing. Right? Mm-hmm.

43:29

That's in your podcast feed, go listen.

43:31

But in the meantime, remember,

43:33

if you see Jason Stevens, tell

43:35

him, I'm waiting on

43:38

my motherfucking money.

43:46

There is more of the dough with Lemonade

43:49

Premium. Subscribers get exclusive

43:52

access, yes girl, to bonus content

43:54

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43:56

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43:59

Subscribe now.

43:59

out in Apple podcast.

44:01

The dough is a limonada original. I'm

44:04

your host, X Mayo. This

44:06

series was created in partnership with

44:08

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44:10

was produced by Kristen Lepore and Becca

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44:16

is our associate

44:16

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Mix and sound design by Ivan

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help from Jerusalem Truth, Claire

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next week. Bye.

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What's up everyone? I'm Delaney Fisher,

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comedian and serial entrepreneur. And I'm

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way. Makers Merk Kentucky Straight Bourbon

47:14

Whiskey, 45% alcohol by volume. Copyright 2023.

47:18

Makers Merk Distillery Incorporated, Loretto, Kentucky.

47:21

Oh, and listen to Choice Words wherever

47:23

you

47:23

get

47:24

your podcasts.