"We want to know how long it's going to take for somebody to come and try and arrest us. Wouldn't that be hysterical if we got arrested here? It would be a full circle moment and obviously about a decade in the making," our lovely Bitches obser

No More Recess!

9 days ago 1h 24m

“This next scene is genuinely one of the wildest scenes I’ve ever seen on television. I cannot believe the words that are going to come out of Melissa’s mouth,” notes Christi as Abby's long not-awaited return to the ALDC heralds just as much dr

Rejecting Abby's World

16 days ago 1h 9m

“You get so much accomplished without ever moving all that much. God he keeps bringing that up!” Christi and Kelly note as even the guests struggle to breath life into "Dance Moms Chatter: Part 2". Although Abby is still in LA filming Abby's Ul

Rejecting Abby's World

16 days ago 59m 33s

A Special Message from Us

23 days ago 1m 59s

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Say Amen, Christi

30 days ago 1h 19m

"My obnoxious level in this episode escalates very quickly," notes Christi as before "Dance Moms Chatter Part 1" can even begin she's already pretty drunk. But in a rare occurrence, Christi and Kelly don't have to hide their booze in coffee cup

A Manly Bunny

Apr 15th, 2024 1h 25m

"I could watch a 24 hour live stream of the shit that Cathy and Vivi talk about," remarks Christi as Season 3's "No Room for Rotten Apples" is another Cathy-centric episode. It's not the most eventful of affairs as the producers even included a

Live from Ohio University

Apr 8th, 2024 1h 13m

On this special episode of Back to the Barre, Christi and Kelly invite you to join them live from Mom's Weekend at Ohio University for a moderated Q&A in front of a nearly 1000 person crowd! With so many great questions from both the moderators

Candy Apple Land

Apr 1st, 2024 1h 42m

“You were in Aruba and I had to work on my vacation, so I deserved a coffee cup,” Kelly says as she reflects on how unfair it was that even though the moms were ostensibly promised time off while Abby was filming Abby's Ultimate Dance Competiti

Two Girls, One Cup

Mar 25th, 2024 1h 18m

“This is like Top of the Pyramid for Suckular behavior,” says Christi as things really do suck on "Two Girls, One Solo". First of all, what sicko thought it was ok to name the episode THAT!? There are children here! Second, this episode is easi

The World’s Biggest Squirrel

Mar 18th, 2024 1h 9m

What could have ticked Kelly off enough to once say, “I always knew in the back of my head that the day would come where Christ would stab me in the back, and you know what? She did...”? If you ask either Kelly or Christi now they'd be hard pre

Descent into Ugly

Mar 11th, 2024 1h 53m

“I’m ready to shoot myself” is not something you want to hear aloud too often, but this week our beloved Bitches find themselves repeating that A LOT as they struggle to get through what might the first episode to really push them over the edge

We’re Not Boob Jealous

Mar 4th, 2024 1h 26m

"On a regular Dance Moms episode you drink on a scale from one to five. A reunion is a one to ten scale," says Christi as the Bitches start the 2nd Part of Season 3's reunion special "Tell All". While it might be a pretty easy episode for Chris

Whoopi Heals

Feb 26th, 2024 1h 26m

“This is not an opportunity to set the record straight, HERE is the opportunity now 10 years later to set the record straight,” explains Christi as even when the moms got to explain themselves, they were never REALLY allowed to. Consequently th

Cracker Barrel Hostess

Feb 19th, 2024 1h 28m

“God, the first statement [of the episode] irritated me” says Kelly as she straps in for "The Mother of All Specials", Dance Mom's own Mother's Day celebration. For a show with plenty of moms you'd imagine the producers could focus in on pretty

I'd Rather Be a Whole Apple

Feb 12th, 2024 55m 57s

"How does Abby get to call him an ass like that and then acted shocked when he responds back," wonders Christi as things begin to go downhill fast on the second half of "Candy Apple Showdown". With the ALDC arriving at the Masters of Dance Art

It’s About Fun, Stop Crying!

Feb 5th, 2024 1h 25m

Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code [BARRE] atLumeDeodorant.com! #lumepodwww.LumeDeodorant.com“This is a drinky episode,” says Christi as she announces drink

Levitate, Levitate, Levitate!

Jan 29th, 2024 1h 44m

"The foot is done!" exclaims both Christi and Kelly as the arduous Mackenzie's Broken Foot Saga finally comes to a close. After all, would Melissa let Mackenzie's foot stay broken if it meant not getting to dance on The View? On Season 3's "The

Disservice

Jan 22nd, 2024 1h 17m

"Do you want to vomit on her, or do you want to vomit on her?” asks Christi as things are as painful as ever on "May I Have This Dance". After coming in second yet again, Abby is fed up with everyone (but Maddie) and is starting to get particul

Humping the Hula Hoop

Jan 15th, 2024 1h 6m

"Life is just a lesson," remarks Christi, "My Instagram bio literally says I make mistakes...some are on TV." At least she can be assured that on the second half of "The Politics of Dancing" the only one making mistakes as per usual is Abby, wh

Cringing Over Props

Jan 8th, 2024 1h 19m

Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code [BARRE] at LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod"You are 15 you piece of shit," is not exactly what Abby said to Brooke, but Christi

Loading Abby's Tears

Dec 25th, 2023 56m 32s

“Somebody has to fight with her,” remarks Kelly as we go through the motions of introducing Kristie Ray into the mom group on the second half of "Watch Your Back, Mack". Even though the moms (and especially our bitches) are on their best behavi

Build-A-Broadway Baby

Dec 18th, 2023 1h 3m

"You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to postmates a drink," Christi jokes as she's booze-less going into what may be one of the strangest episodes of Dance Moms yet. Season 3's "Watch Your Back, Mack" is most notable for the introduction o

Special Episode: After Party 2

Dec 11th, 2023 39m 40s

Due to techimical difficulties, we're replacing this week's epsiode with two bonus After Party episodes. Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Special Episode: After Party 3

Dec 11th, 2023 31m 36s

Due to technical difficulties, this week's episode is being replaced by two After Parties. Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.