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0:57

Ask me. Ask

1:00

Eliza anything. It's time to

1:02

ask. Ask me all

1:04

your questions. Leave them in the

1:06

Instagram comment section. Leave them on

1:09

your Twitter. Or leave them on

1:11

your Facebook. We'll see them. We'll

1:13

read them. Then we'll give

1:16

you answers. You know it. I've got

1:18

it. I've got the

1:20

answer. The answer. You asked me. I'll

1:23

tell you anything. Help, help,

1:26

help, help me. We're

1:29

going to actually kick today's episode off with

1:32

our new segment, Fight Me, which is a

1:34

producer note from Emily, who was

1:36

like, do we start the episode? Because

1:39

it's not dissimilar. It doesn't take the

1:41

same box as Top of the Cob. So

1:44

let's bookend it. Let's ask to

1:46

mouth it. OK, wait. Let's

1:48

human centipede it. No,

1:51

first I feel like you have

1:53

to do something about a normal

1:55

intro to the episode. And then

1:57

you're right. Fight me. Excited

2:00

for that. Well, I feel like it's important

2:02

in the timeline of events last week

2:04

was Kate bowler's episode Which

2:06

gave you all an extra week to send in your fight

2:09

means Kate was amazing. You mistake huge mistake.

2:11

This is great I

2:13

love everybody's like, please bring her back So

2:16

yeah Um,

2:19

if I didn't have you I would forget to tell

2:21

people I had a podcast I'll forget to live with that.

2:23

I'm a comic you're like, don't you want to push your

2:26

tickets? Emily sees not a dime from this and she's like

2:28

don't you want to have a well-rounded? Show

2:30

I want you to say If

2:33

you're hearing this this week, hopefully you're coming to see

2:35

me at the already sold at Netflix as a joke

2:37

show I'm gonna do I opted to do a small show and

2:40

just be done with it And

2:42

then maybe you can see me at the brand improv And

2:46

I'm just getting gearing up. I'm actually gearing up

2:48

to take a little vacation, but we'll be doing

2:50

this this show Since it's

2:52

just before I hit the road in the fall. My dad

2:54

my stepmom were just here and I

2:56

continue to Fight anti-semitism

2:59

in every corner of the world turns out I

3:01

can't control the world from my phone But

3:04

I do my best and uh,

3:06

and yeah, I guess Right.

3:09

What's I know we're supposed to

3:11

start it with like some crazy story But I just

3:13

i'm finding more and more pleasure like taking

3:15

time to it's only recently that i've been

3:18

like it's the weekend I'm kicking off Because

3:20

everything just feels so exhausting and horrible

3:23

So it's nice to just be like, oh my taking breaks Sometimes I don't need

3:25

to do stand-up on the weekends. I just do it all week Well,

3:28

you've always had a job where it's like what does

3:30

the weekend matter? It's all the days are the same

3:33

I just have so many events coming up.

3:35

I'm doing stand-up at the johns hopkins this

3:37

big johns hopkins benefit I'm

3:40

doing i'm hosting the four-year consideration panel

3:42

for the amazon emmys And

3:45

i'm just doing a ton of shows and so

3:47

i'm really for the first time in my life

3:49

as every woman suggests like Taking some me time

3:51

and it feels great And all

3:53

of a sudden my nose is clogged probably at the sight of your

3:55

cat Who is

3:58

three 1500 miles away? Is

4:01

it not all the hair on the mic

4:03

isn't doing it for you? We

4:06

both have really hairy microphones. It's

4:08

not a metaphor and it's for very different reasons. I

4:11

don't think they're very different reasons. I think

4:13

they're the exact same reason. You think a

4:15

dog and a cat are different or similar

4:17

reasons? It's totally the random one Emily. Having

4:21

animal fur all over all of our

4:23

belongings. Wearing black and having

4:26

Aryan animals, yeah. I

4:30

had a guy coming to sell me something. I

4:32

had a Chinese dog. It's the opposite of Aryan.

4:35

You mean just white? A guy told me

4:37

my cats looked Aryan because they have blue eyes

4:40

as well. And he's like, I can say that.

4:42

I'm Jewish. And I was like, well, they like

4:44

everyone. It's so funny what people gerrymander what they

4:46

can and can't say because my people were oppressed

4:48

80 years ago by a group

4:51

of Aryan's, some not so. Now I

4:53

can say, you can say whatever. I

4:55

don't think anyone could not call someone

4:57

Aryan. I can't think of a single

4:59

person who could not call

5:01

someone else Aryan looking. I think it

5:03

has the Nazi tint to it. Oh,

5:05

100%. He was calling my cats Nazis.

5:09

But now speaking of Aryan,

5:12

speaking of what you can and can't say, let's

5:14

get to fight me. And

5:24

I brilliantly decided that somebody should,

5:26

people should call in with

5:28

their fight knees. And I hope you got a lot of

5:30

them, right? I got a few. And then

5:32

I got some people writing it and saying, I don't

5:34

know how to send a voice memo. So we'll work

5:37

on that. We'll work on the text. We'll figure it

5:39

out. That's not going to work. That's the demographic

5:41

we're dealing with. Just like technologically inept nurses,

5:44

PhD students. Okay. Okay.

5:47

Let's hear this. Who's this from? So this

5:49

is from Kat Halise, Aileen the whole crew. I've

5:51

got a little something for the new fight me

5:54

segment for you. It would be so fun to

5:56

hear your take. Hope the German accent isn't too

5:58

bad. Love all you do. So we've already got

6:00

a few. fun act then. Why'd you pick this

6:02

one after the Aryan comment? I already had this

6:05

one. Hey DJ,

6:07

play that song. Hey, I'm

6:09

Kat from Germany and I think

6:11

basic shouldn't be a negative. Like

6:15

jeans and t-shirt basic.

6:18

I think wear that outfit again

6:20

and again. It's a good one for

6:22

a reason. Not everything needs to be

6:24

extra. Fight me. Fight

6:27

me. I completely

6:29

agree Kat, no fight

6:31

from me. And I will

6:34

tell you that the setup for

6:36

my entire pumpkin spice rant online

6:39

is about being called a basic bitch.

6:41

And I'm like, so you're criticized

6:43

if you're extra and then

6:45

you're criticized if you love things that are

6:48

normal and being low maintenance. Basic

6:50

means it covers all the bases. You

6:52

don't need anything else. I

6:54

agree with you. You could wear it

6:56

always. I love a jeans and

6:59

t-shirt. It's called the capsule wardrobe and it

7:01

means you're not polluting the planet. Yeah. No

7:03

fight here. Emily. No, I

7:05

mean, I agree. I think it's interesting though

7:08

that those things are a little bit cyclical

7:10

and I feel like it kind of comes

7:12

back into fashion where everybody, everybody says, oh,

7:14

pumpkin spice lattes and uggs are lame. Then

7:16

everybody goes, actually we're past thinking that's lame.

7:19

And then it's like, no, it's lame again.

7:22

It's so uncool that it's become cool because

7:24

then you're just like, look, this is what I want to do. I

7:26

don't know. People have done it. However, when

7:29

we say basic, we're

7:31

usually responding to a

7:34

personality that's correlated with a sartorial

7:36

choice. Like you would never see

7:38

like Cindy Crawford and a jeans and

7:40

t-shirt and be like, she's basic, basic. I really

7:43

think has to do with an attitude as

7:45

expressed by your choices. Like

7:48

if I wore a coach bag, I still

7:50

wouldn't get called basic because the other

7:53

choices in my life are not basic. So

7:56

I do think you're taking it. And as Germans do

7:58

very literally, I would argue. though

8:00

that the fight me for me on this would

8:02

be what a lame

8:04

insult like out of everything it's

8:06

like oh you're just like everyone

8:08

else great that's all anyone in

8:10

society wants is to be to

8:13

conform not anymore society what a

8:15

lame insult yeah it's uh I

8:17

got no problem with basic and really

8:19

it's an indictment on women acquiescing to

8:21

the things we tell them to

8:23

like and then when you do it's like oh you can't

8:25

think for yourself it's like okay I didn't natively come up

8:27

with the idea of wearing lip gloss like I didn't come

8:30

up with that on my own you brainwash me do

8:32

we want to play another one no we

8:35

don't have enough to be going to really to kick

8:37

it off no we did what this is like

8:40

an eggman we do one like a grand opening

8:42

you got one tune in next week for another one

8:45

turn off the podcast right now and wait for next

8:47

week for your new favorite segment fight me all right

8:49

then I won't contribute one we could

8:51

you oh we want to do ours you're right cuz we

8:53

do ours so we'll do ours at the top yep this

8:56

is a totally polished podcast by the way so

8:59

we're not gonna play any more of other people's but

9:01

we're gonna do ours that's how we're kicking off is

9:04

in a fight are we gonna fight each other let's

9:06

find out that's find

9:08

out hate me people

9:10

who endlessly post about body positivity

9:12

slash their relationship slash empowerment slash

9:15

anything do so because they don't

9:17

feel positive and they need constant

9:20

validation take me I

9:23

I would say their argument is likely that

9:25

they're helping other people but I would 100%

9:27

agree this might be a real problem Liza

9:29

that we think so much the

9:31

same that we're never gonna fight each

9:34

other it's the only reason we're friends I will

9:37

say this this is not about those specific

9:39

choices but this is in general like when

9:41

you unless you're trying to like

9:44

convert someone to your religion like when you in

9:46

your heart do not question your

9:48

relationship like when you know this is it this

9:50

is like I know Noah is the

9:52

perfect one for me I so I

9:54

don't feel the need to endlessly pose like

9:56

look what my guy did my guy like

9:59

we're also like monetizing our relationship.

10:04

I pose very infrequently about a lot of things

10:06

because I don't need that validation. It's nice that

10:08

people love note but I don't need people being

10:10

like, you made the right choice. You

10:13

see women sometimes when they date older guys

10:15

they're like showing off my hubby and there's

10:17

a 50 year age gap. I'm like this

10:19

is because it's been poisoned by enough people

10:21

telling you it's wrong so you're either trying

10:23

to prove it to them or yourself. Either

10:25

way it's poison. Right. The

10:29

lady doff relationships. That's what that is. Any

10:33

motivational quote that someone posts they didn't just

10:35

come upon it. They're like this is what's

10:37

happening to me. It's like an aim away

10:39

message where you post like a sad lyric

10:42

and wait for people to be like what

10:44

is that? What's going on? So good. It

10:46

was the ultimate breakup flex like so sick

10:48

of love songs dot dot

10:50

dot and it's like why what happened? Did

10:52

you and Adam bring up? Yeah. Alright

10:55

what's yours? Mine is okay.

10:58

Winif Paltrow is one

11:00

example but it happens across a range of things

11:02

and I think you've spoken to this but I'm

11:04

gonna give my take. Winif

11:06

Paltrow was allowed to sell a leather folder

11:08

that looks like a mail folder for like

11:10

$500 because guess what if you don't want

11:12

to buy it it's not for you. Winif

11:15

Paltrow has created a brand for herself and

11:17

people who can afford it. She has not

11:20

created a brand for Walmart or Kmart. I

11:22

can't afford her clothes. I look at sometimes

11:24

she'll post like a basic white

11:26

shirt and I'm like ooh it's $800. Not for me. Not for you.

11:31

Like that's oh and that's okay. Winif

11:33

Paltrow is not saying. You're condense it.

11:35

It's for you. Winif Paltrow is allowed

11:37

to sell snake oil fight me. Honestly

11:39

yes she is allowed to sell snake

11:41

oil fight me. If you're

11:43

dumb enough to buy the snake oil or

11:45

you want the snake oil enjoy. Yes

11:48

and you

11:50

can always punch up. Like it's always a fun

11:52

to make it's okay to make fun of rich

11:54

people. If she were like a

11:57

BIPOC like lotion maker and she's like this

11:59

is made of 100% ho-ho butter and you're like,

12:02

ho-ho butter, ho-ho-ba butter, and you were

12:04

like, ugh, look at this garbage. Then it

12:06

would be seen as classist and racist, but

12:09

nobody feels bad for people with money. And she

12:11

could, by the way, be Oprah showing this and you

12:13

could still make fun of it and it

12:16

would be fine. And I love her. Because,

12:18

and by the way, not everything's for

12:20

everyone. The goal is to have money and

12:22

you can buy better things, even though this

12:24

stuff is ridiculously priced.

12:27

I'm sure it's still quality for the most part. Like

12:29

I doubt it's going to fall apart

12:31

like that Target shirt. There's different price points. Everybody

12:34

would buy like that if they could, except

12:36

for me, I can and I don't because

12:38

I'm not an idiot. We

12:40

all spend money on different things. I wouldn't spend

12:42

$800 on a really good shirt even if I

12:44

could. I would spend it on a TV.

12:49

But okay, I went to a nice store on Robertson

12:51

and I spent $700 on a

12:53

pair of pants once thinking I was

12:55

going to lose a little bit of weight. And I never

12:57

did. And they're still in my closet. And that was five

12:59

years ago. That is the least

13:02

relatable thing you've ever said on the show.

13:05

I am sorry. This is I,

13:08

it was when I first realized that I could

13:10

spend money and it would be okay. And I

13:12

was like, I'm going to treat myself to this

13:14

beautiful pair of pants that is triple marked up

13:16

and I will always wear them. And I never

13:18

have once fit into them. They cut into my

13:20

vagina and I don't know what to do

13:22

with them now. And they're red. Okay. Here's

13:24

what I will say. Definitely far less money

13:27

than you. I'm okay. I got a

13:29

tax refund for the first time in years because I

13:31

own a house now. I paid

13:33

$250 for an E Ink

13:35

tablet to help streamline my

13:38

note taking. Is

13:40

that a good use of money? Maybe

13:42

not for, for not for most

13:44

people, right? Like who have hands that can

13:46

take notes. Who have pieces of paper.

13:49

This is digital paper, but it's

13:51

solved a few problems for me.

13:56

We're not the same. I will tell

13:58

you your fight me is. Guess

14:00

what? Not everything's for everyone. Get over it. That's

14:02

your fight me. Yeah. And as a

14:04

lover of Gwyneth Paltrow, uh, she can do

14:06

whatever she wants. This

14:13

show is sponsored by BetterHelp. It happened

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14:32

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15:17

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15:20

running around, and I don't always have time

15:22

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15:24

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16:22

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16:25

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16:27

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16:29

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16:31

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16:34

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Q U I N C E dot

17:27

com slash Eliza. Let's

17:36

get to the show. The

17:39

subject light of this email allergic

17:41

to America or am I just

17:44

a loser? Highlives an

17:46

Emily. I don't know. Can your body

17:48

tolerate processed corn? Corn.

17:50

Long time loser. Fair. First time

17:52

question asker. Emily has been asking

17:54

for new questions. I've listened to every episode and I

17:56

don't think mine has ever come up. So here I

17:58

am. Yes. My unfortunate

18:01

medical history includes a very long

18:03

and distinguished list of allergies. I'm

18:05

allergic to all animals with fur

18:07

and alcohol. My mom

18:09

has these allergies too. When I'm around animals, I

18:12

turn into Will Smith and Hitch. When I have

18:14

a drink, I closely resemble Miss McCarthy and

18:16

bridesmaids, photos included for reference. Then, you

18:18

know, it's... Please show them. Do

18:20

you want to see them? I very

18:23

much want to see this transformation. Will

18:25

Smith and Hitch. Oh, I'm sorry.

18:27

I thought you were going to show me you. No, no. A

18:30

clipart of Will Smith and Melissa McCarthy.

18:32

I know what these people look like.

18:35

No. Cool. Thank

18:37

you. I know what Will

18:39

Smith... Oh, you could

18:41

call up in your mind exactly what Will Smith

18:44

looks like in the film Hitch. I

18:46

just know he got hives. I wanted to see

18:48

her with hives. I don't. And then tell her

18:50

it looks fine. I don't have that with hives.

18:53

Both of these allergies are incredibly severe. I

18:55

start to experience symptoms simply by entering a

18:57

home where a pet resides. The severity of

19:00

my reaction is directly correlated with how long

19:02

I spend inside the home, even if the

19:04

animal is not present or I never touch

19:06

it. In regards to alcohol,

19:08

I can have a few sips of any drink,

19:10

and within 15 minutes, I will be taking up

19:12

residence in my bathroom for the foreseeable future. Okay,

19:15

we believe you. You don't have the... You can just say

19:17

it. Until the alcohol

19:19

is out of my system, I

19:21

basically experience a severe stomach flu,

19:24

including sweating, shaking, and explosive shitting.

19:27

Yeah, it's called being drunk and having fun.

19:29

It's a great time. I

19:31

am well aware that pets and alcohol are

19:34

two big factors in the makeup of American

19:36

culture and leisure. My mother

19:38

grew up in the Philippines on a little island in the

19:40

middle of the ocean, so my attitude towards these things have

19:42

been very different from the rest of my peers. My

19:45

close friends and family are aware of my

19:47

predicament and have no problem making adjustments. However,

19:49

I just moved to Columbus, Ohio, and

19:51

I want to make friends and try to start

19:53

dating. Nobody wants to be friends with

19:56

their date-the-girl who can never join in The party or

19:58

will permanently stay away from your pet. I.

20:00

Know it might sound silly, but I'm worried about

20:02

the friendships and relationships. That my allergies will cost

20:05

me. even though it's not something

20:07

within my control, I'm. Already on

20:09

to medications to keep my daily allergies

20:11

at bay. My. Question.

20:14

When. Slash how do you think I should tell

20:16

someone about my. Allergies, As and

20:18

I bring it up. Any. Cooler funny ways. I

20:20

can tell people that sounding like a complete loser.

20:22

I've no problem with drinking and I like animals,

20:24

but this is the hand of adult. By.

20:27

That's for and I got to meet you

20:29

in Chicago last year. He should be your

20:31

screen saver of Sierra and I felt so

20:33

honored fool And of course of their income

20:35

is your show and Columbus this year you're

20:37

my favorite We have all time sitting loves

20:40

always jewels from Columbus Ohio twenty female and

20:42

I've realized that the and I could feel

20:44

supporter of the Jewish people. Living.

20:46

Through. These. Are things that

20:48

literally impacts your ability to live

20:50

like? chances are if you around

20:52

animals. Too much your throat would close up so.

20:56

It's yet a if you're a cool girls

20:58

just like anything like that, just like a

21:00

dietary restriction on the things you just tell

21:02

people and it's you don't have to worry

21:04

about when you tell the Bazalgette reveal you

21:06

have an Std to your lover, throw it

21:09

in as it comes up. You're.

21:11

Also, not making friends like on it on an

21:13

app. It's not like you're going on a first

21:15

date with a friend who's become friends with people.

21:17

If they say you go over be like oh I know this

21:19

is like annoying. Or whatever. but I actually have a

21:21

severe allergies. And they'll be fine with it. Nobody.

21:24

is gonna be city to you, especially if you're

21:26

cool but the groom in a neutral place. the

21:28

drinking thing. You. Just don't have

21:31

to participate. Everybody loves a designated

21:33

driver. nobody actually years of your

21:35

drinking. Also, And if they do that they

21:37

have a problem. But the you want a group you

21:39

just get a soda. that's it. and if you don't

21:41

wanna be around. People drinking like to that gets

21:43

not fun. You can make friends with people who

21:46

drink less or don't drink it all. go to

21:48

in a meeting and just clean up. The

21:51

don't worry about it. These are these are real

21:53

things for you. You don't need to worry about

21:56

other people's reactions. Is not like you killed someone.

21:58

With. Your car. No, you

22:00

killed a kid with your car. The

22:03

alcohol thing isn't a concern at all. The pet thing is

22:05

just hard because, yeah, people might have pets and then you

22:07

can never go to their house. So you don't go over

22:09

to their house, right? You don't get married to someone who

22:12

has a dog. Like, you know. That's

22:14

it. Oh, didn't we have a question from some girl and the

22:16

guy was like, she was like, we've been together and he

22:19

hates dogs. He doesn't want a pet and they need one

22:21

so badly. Find out that, see if they

22:23

broke up already and get that guy's number. Best

22:26

of luck, Jules. Don't worry about it. This

22:29

is not something you can help and you're doing everything you can.

22:31

You don't need to be on a billion medications just

22:33

to like sit in someone's house and eat their

22:35

cat fur. So sorry

22:38

that they invited you to their cat condo slash

22:41

scratching post for a martini, but

22:43

you got better things to do. Like breathe easy. You

22:45

could date someone who has a bearded dragon.

22:48

Oh, there you go. You can start dating

22:50

like snake guy or bird guy. You can

22:52

become those weird reptile bird people. Move

22:54

to Florida won't be a problem. None of those pets have

22:56

hair. They're all like

22:58

reptiles. Oh,

23:01

I guess there's a lot of like big cats. Well, sorry.

23:04

Sorry, Joe Exotic. She won't be your, I guess he doesn't date women.

23:07

I don't fucking know. He only

23:11

murders them. You heard me. Oh,

23:13

now you're accusing him of that man's

23:15

death. Oh, the man suit. I

23:17

forgot. Sorry. That

23:19

was like pandemic TV. Sorry. You're

23:21

right. It was a dude. Is paying an ex back for

23:23

a trip? Desperate or reasonable?

23:27

Ooh, Eliza and Emily, I greatly value

23:29

both your perspectives and have benefited my

23:31

own life from hearing you encourage listeners

23:33

to be more direct about their intentions

23:35

and communicate more clearly in their

23:38

relationships, professional, romantic or otherwise.

23:41

Yeah, we don't have to deal with the fallout. So it's super easy

23:43

to give that. I know it's really

23:45

just break up with her. Here's what you should do

23:47

in a perfect world. We wouldn't do

23:49

it. Literally leaning back and eating grapes

23:51

as I'm giving this advice right now. I'm like,

23:53

let them eat cake. Both casuals, no

23:55

steaks for you. Zero.

23:58

I don't even know your name. I,

24:01

40 female, happened to meet a romantic partner, 40

24:03

male, at a time of transition in my

24:05

life. I was leaving a stressful professional career

24:08

to care for my parents and had committed

24:10

to a smaller scale life in the short

24:12

term that included living very frugally. Knowing

24:15

this, when he proposed a trip that included

24:17

flights, lodging, car rentals, etc., I

24:20

explained that I had always been financially independent

24:22

and since I wasn't prepared to dip into

24:24

savings or use credit, I loved the idea

24:26

but couldn't afford it at the time. He's

24:28

a lovely and generous person who could comfortably afford

24:30

to cover the cost and was eager to do

24:32

so, so we went on the trip and it

24:34

was everything you want a romantic getaway to

24:37

be, complete with restaurant and airport employees commenting

24:39

on how in love we looked. At

24:41

the time, it also felt like the first of

24:43

many future trips and I would be able

24:45

to carry the financial burden for the next

24:48

one to, for myself, balance the scales. A

24:51

few months after our trip, everything sort of fell

24:53

apart and we just couldn't blend the realities

24:55

of our other commitments, jobs, families, etc. I

24:58

haven't spoken to him in six months. It

25:00

bothers me still that he paid for the entirety

25:02

of our trip and I'd like to repay him

25:04

for half of it. I would send a fee

25:06

of PayPal with an email explanation. I've

25:08

tried to interrogate my reasoning here and if

25:11

it's just an expensive means of reopening

25:13

communication but I'm telling myself that it's

25:15

reasonable because I've always been someone who paid

25:17

my way and this is no different. He

25:20

doesn't need it and would never begrudge

25:22

having spent it. Am I just

25:24

clinging to something I need to like, oh, or is

25:26

it reasonable to want to settle this up? So

25:29

I don't know. I

25:32

don't really know the underpinnings.

25:35

I don't know why you broke up. It's not

25:37

just a breakup. What do you mean you couldn't resolve?

25:39

You couldn't like, that's reconciled.

25:43

It's not like jobs and families didn't match.

25:45

I just wonder. I don't

25:47

know. I would need to know more like deep down

25:49

about why you broke up. Let it go. This

25:52

isn't about like a free meal ticket. This

25:54

isn't like he underestimated you or

25:57

thought of you as manipulative.

26:00

or something, it is very,

26:02

very common for, in many

26:05

cases, like the guy to pay for something and

26:07

he wanted to, and he doesn't care. So

26:10

I know, I appreciate that you did some thinking on it.

26:12

Like, is this a way of reopening it? Only

26:14

you can truly answer that. I

26:17

do, we do tend to get women on

26:19

this podcast that always mention like, and I always

26:21

pay my way. That's,

26:24

that's great, but nobody needs

26:26

you to retroactively pay for something.

26:28

Going back in time, opening

26:30

something up. What will

26:32

you get out of that? If the, if it

26:34

was truly, as you're putting it

26:36

like a mutual breakup, then there's nothing

26:39

to even out. I

26:41

pay my own way and other people's ways for a lot

26:43

of things in life. And just

26:46

because I'm someone who pays for everything doesn't

26:48

mean I feel obligated to go back if

26:50

somebody willingly gave of something. Right.

26:53

If I just started sending you money for

26:55

like, remember when you bought me coffee? It's

26:58

insulting two years ago. I, who

27:00

knows how much it was. I don't know what he

27:02

makes. It might be a negligible cost to him, but

27:05

I don't see what you really get out of it. Maybe you

27:07

feel better about the breakup in a weird way. It

27:09

sounds like it's more about the breakup than it is

27:12

about your financial solvency.

27:15

Unless you had some arrangement where it was like, okay, I'm

27:17

going to get you back next time, it sounded like that

27:19

wasn't it at all. He said a hundred percent. Look, I

27:21

know you don't want to go right now because you don't

27:23

have the money right now. I

27:25

want us to go. So I'm going to pay. It

27:27

sounds like there was no other agreement and say, yeah,

27:29

it would be insulting. Don't do

27:32

it. There was no other agreement. You

27:34

also, unlike a lot of people were

27:36

crystal clear. And we've had

27:38

this on the pod where it's like, but I really want

27:40

to do something. My friend can't afford it. Can I just

27:42

pay for it? He decided to pay for it. You decided

27:44

to go. You all knew the terms. Even

27:47

if you wrote in and you were

27:49

like, and he's asking me to pay him back,

27:52

I would say, absolutely do not. We

27:54

are all responsible for our choices. He made the choice

27:56

to pay for it. You made the choice to go.

27:59

You both made the choice. to enjoy it, I

28:01

find it a little weird that you

28:03

included how in love

28:06

you seemed. And

28:08

honestly, now that I'm thinking about that, I think

28:11

it bothers you that you guys broke

28:13

up. Yeah, sorry. I

28:17

should have tapped in earlier for that. If

28:19

you want to reach back out, reach back out.

28:21

By the way, you know what's going to be

28:24

awful is if you reach out and you're like, hey, I'd

28:26

like to pay you this whatever. I

28:28

don't know what your trip costs or what a trip cost. And

28:32

he says, yes. Oh, and by the way, do

28:34

you want to go for coffee? That's an even

28:36

more. That's a weird place to start sleeping together

28:38

from. Or you send the

28:40

money and he never even says like received

28:42

like that. Oh my God. Insane. Like, did

28:44

he get it? Did it go to him?

28:47

Is it in the ether? Well,

28:49

she'll know because it's like wired

28:51

or it's Venmo or it's whatever. But

28:53

or PayPal, like it would be debited from your account. And

28:57

you could look at that. But even weirder,

28:59

if you are trying to reopen it, then

29:02

it's it looks pathetic. I

29:05

think it'd be more pathetic if a guy tried to do it. So

29:08

if he misses you great, but you'd also wish he would

29:10

reach out to you. But it's weird if he's like, great,

29:12

I'll take that money. Let's date again. If

29:15

you are really wanting to reconnect with him, just reach

29:17

out to him and say, hey, how are you? She

29:19

doesn't know that though. So I'm just saying a

29:22

little deeper. But under no circumstances should you

29:24

do it under the guise of, hey, here's

29:27

some money for that all you can

29:29

eat shrimp buffet we went to and that

29:32

like emergency room visit Mexico

29:34

when I got diarrhea from all that shrimp.

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Dixie health problems. Sad

32:20

face. Hello Eliza,

32:22

Emily, kiddos, husband, pets, and

32:24

anyone else nearby. Eliza

32:26

is my favorite comedian. I love both of you

32:29

in the podcast so much. Yes. Okay. This next

32:31

sentence is very important. She says, I know my

32:33

signature is turned on, but would appreciate keeping this

32:35

anonymous. Yes, guys. No way. When?

32:38

That's a weird name, but now everyone knows it was you.

32:41

Robinson. That's why I don't

32:43

read your name so it's the time guys, because you have

32:45

the default signature on. And so I don't

32:47

read it out of fear. So be very explicit if you

32:49

want your name read. All right. This

32:52

is a bit complex, but I'll try to

32:54

be brief. Me, female, my husband are

32:56

37 years old. We've been together for

32:58

16 years, married for 12. And

33:01

for all of our professional adult lives,

33:03

we've each worked full time, pay the

33:06

bills job. In addition to freelance visual

33:08

arts, illustration jobs on the side. We

33:11

have no kids. And despite all odds of

33:13

miscommunications are really happy together and our best

33:15

friends. A few years ago,

33:17

I figured out that I'm demisexual, basically

33:20

asexual. Was

33:23

that what that means? Deresexuality

33:25

means being sexually attracted to someone only when you

33:28

have an emotional bond with them. Oh,

33:30

a woman. You're a woman.

33:33

Right. Basically, it's,

33:36

uh, this has explained a lot about my attitude

33:38

towards sex. Basically, it's nice, but not a must

33:40

have, but you're a woman. You're a

33:42

woman. And

33:46

almost middle aged. Sex

33:48

is really important to my guy who struggles

33:50

with anxiety. Well,

33:52

those two are related. Part

33:54

one of problem. We are both

33:56

so busy with our multiple jobs and I think about

33:58

sex so little that over the. past year my

34:00

guy has been left wanting a lot and

34:03

gotten into some emotional entanglements with a couple

34:05

female friends. Once he

34:07

realized where those relationships could be going he

34:09

did some hard stops and told me what

34:11

was up and we've since had a lot

34:13

of conversations and educated ourselves more about asexuality.

34:15

I've been doing my best to not get too

34:18

busy and put lots more effort into our sex

34:20

life. The idea of an open relationship has come

34:22

up but we'd rather stay monogamous. Brought

34:24

it by him. Yeah, go on. Heart

34:27

tools problem. A month ago I

34:29

started having some bizarre gastrointestinal issues.

34:32

I've done a bunch of tests that have ruled

34:34

out cancer and it seems like my symptoms are

34:36

slowly improving but still in the dark about the

34:39

cause. I feel varying levels

34:41

of queasiness and intestinal pain similar to

34:43

period cramps for one-third to one half

34:45

of each day. I'm pretty

34:48

sure this GI problem is related to a

34:50

hereditary syndrome I've been researching with my family.

34:53

It's also made sex somewhat painful even if we wait

34:55

until I feel fine to do anything. I mentioned

34:57

my husband is anxious. He'll feel horny for days

34:59

but won't want to have sex even if I

35:01

want to try because he hates that it could cause

35:04

me pain. My work has

35:06

also been negatively affected but I care less

35:08

about that than keeping our relationship strong. I'm

35:10

frustrated to tears and don't know what to

35:12

do anymore. My stupid guts have thrown a

35:14

giant wrench in our gears. This past month we've only had

35:16

sex once which is not what

35:18

my guy needs. I

35:20

felt broken for most of my life because

35:22

I was ignorant about my asexuality but now

35:24

my physical body feels broken too. I've already

35:27

given my guy so many gray hairs but if

35:29

my GI problem never goes away and I just

35:31

can't do sex enough for him to feel fulfilled

35:33

in that way anymore, any ideas,

35:35

research direction, or perspective would be

35:38

greatly appreciated. I wasn't gonna

35:40

actually send you this because there's been a couple

35:42

times last few years where just writing the email

35:44

was enough to organize my thoughts. Imagine what you

35:46

say. Is it a picture of Will Smith with

35:48

hives? No, just this email and get it figured

35:50

out but my guy encouraged me to send it

35:52

this time because he also wants to know your

35:54

thoughts. Thank you so much. Okay,

35:57

no one's gonna like that I'm gonna say this. and

36:00

this is very white

36:02

woman wellness, like

36:04

unsolicited medical advice, I

36:07

would not be surprised if your

36:10

family research, gastrointestinal issue

36:12

is a physical manifestation

36:16

of the anxiety you feel about

36:18

the obligation to have sex. And

36:23

I bet you, if you

36:26

guys were not together, or

36:28

if he just tomorrow was just like, I just

36:30

don't need sex, you would

36:32

start to feel better. I'm not

36:35

saying it's not real. I

36:37

am saying it is exacerbated. Whatever

36:39

irritation you're getting is

36:41

exacerbated by this. I

36:44

also think if you are truly, there

36:49

is a version where you

36:51

are getting a little bit older and you just

36:53

aren't as attracted to him,

36:55

or he is your best friend and it's

36:58

just not a sexual relationship. Cause

37:00

you hear this a lot and then you meet someone else and

37:02

it's like, oh my God, I've been awakened. So

37:04

I think that there's a

37:06

lot to explore there. Obviously,

37:09

like my

37:11

guy answered to this, you're like, and it hurts

37:13

to have sex. I'm like, but your mouth still

37:15

works, right? Your butt still works.

37:18

I'm just saying, you don't want to, cause

37:20

you don't want to. You

37:22

don't want to. And it sounds like

37:24

this is not a

37:27

viable relationship. It seems

37:29

like a dead end. Sex hurts you,

37:32

you want to give it to him. He wants

37:34

sex, he doesn't want to take it from you

37:36

cause he doesn't want to hurt you. So

37:39

what are you going to do? I, this

37:42

is, look, your husband encouraged you to

37:44

write in. I'm

37:47

sure he's a lovely man. He was

37:49

hoping I'd be like, you can still use your mouth.

37:51

You told him she's a butthole.

37:53

So I just, he's

37:56

he could be so. nice.

38:01

The fact there's something

38:03

that bothers me a

38:05

little bit that he's so anxious

38:07

about this.

38:10

He's putting it on to you.

38:12

I'm not saying... Probably already

38:15

cheated on you. No, I'm not

38:17

saying that you should keep secrets

38:20

and you shouldn't share with each other. I do

38:22

wonder how much of that anxiety is guilting

38:25

you even further. How much of it is

38:27

him just like sharing with you how he

38:29

really feels and how much is like, well,

38:31

this is really hard for me. Now, I

38:33

also... You've been to a doctor,

38:36

doctor. There are sex therapists and

38:38

you should talk to one because

38:40

you're asexual. Even if your guts worked, you're

38:42

asexual. You're asexual.

38:45

You're either asexual or you

38:48

think you are because you don't want to have sex with him.

38:51

And I'm not trying to undermine... You

38:53

could be gay. I'm

38:55

not trying to undermine what

38:58

you're feeling as a woman. So I'm

39:00

saying those are your options. Either

39:02

you're... But if you're gay, that

39:04

means you're not attracted to him. And I

39:06

think you need to dig deep and you may not even

39:08

realize that you could... You love this

39:11

person. You've mentioned he's your best friend, but

39:13

you don't want to necessarily always have sex

39:15

with the best friend that knows everything about

39:17

your friends from high school and your inner

39:20

thoughts and you have playtime with and you

39:22

act like little animals together and whatever inside

39:24

jokes... Are you just sitting

39:26

so quietly? Oh my God, that was so still.

39:29

Emily, I thought you died. And

39:32

he's anxious because he is

39:34

a man, but also he needs sex

39:37

and he needs... Emotionally

39:39

he's not being fulfilled. I'm sure

39:42

he's a great guy. I'm not saying he cheated on you,

39:44

but for him to have

39:46

emotionally become invested in

39:48

multiple people is a cry for

39:50

help. I think you guys should

39:52

cut your losses or see

39:54

a therapist because neither of you are

39:57

getting what you want. You want nothing

39:59

to do with your life. with him and you don't

40:01

feel well and he's like, I need my basic needs

40:03

met and you can still love each other and be

40:05

best friends, but this doesn't seem like it's doing it

40:07

for either of you. Yeah, that's

40:10

really hard when there's

40:12

not like, You don't wanna break up. Right, right,

40:14

when it's like, no one's

40:16

doing anything wrong, it's just a

40:18

mismatched level of libido.

40:21

Or you just grew into the

40:23

people that you are. Yeah.

40:27

And it kind of is neither here nor there. It's great that

40:29

I don't even know if you want to have sex with

40:31

him as much as you want to satisfy him, you want

40:33

him to be happy and fulfilled. You

40:36

want to have had the sex, you just don't

40:38

wanna have the sex. It's

40:40

not working. So either

40:42

lay it all out there, get right with

40:45

Jesus, see a sex therapist and fix it,

40:47

but if you are truly asexual, there's nothing

40:49

to fix. And

40:51

I do think it

40:53

is exacerbated by the fact. Your

40:57

stomach issue is exacerbated by all of this.

40:59

And you can make yourself sick over stuff.

41:02

I had a relative who wouldn't

41:05

let something go and it

41:07

gave her cancer. Like these

41:09

things, these like on a cellular

41:11

level, like these negativities or these

41:13

anxieties, especially in your gut. Yeah,

41:16

I feel very, when I'm worried about something, I feel

41:18

very sick. What do you think an ulcer is? Yeah,

41:22

that's an ulcer. That's why cops in movies are

41:24

always drinking pep. Because they

41:27

eat garbage and they are always

41:29

on the beat. Yeah,

41:32

just can't. So

41:34

I'm sorry and this podcast is

41:36

here to just kind of give you that ice

41:39

cold sobering advice, but this

41:42

is not a relationship. A relationship isn't

41:44

physically being uncomfortable and mentally

41:46

being uncomfortable and seeking validation

41:50

from outside parties because your

41:52

partner isn't satisfying you. Yeah.

41:57

Sorry, I hope you guys are listening together and I hope you

41:59

figured it out. together and I hope you I

42:02

hope you figure out a way that you can both be happy.

42:05

It's so awkward for you to

42:07

both be listening to us right now. I'm sorry

42:09

man that is the guy you I'm sure you're

42:12

lovely. I just sorry man. You know. I just

42:14

have to flag all possible. What if you suck?

42:16

I don't know. I don't know you. I'm sorry.

42:19

She is making him sound like

42:21

a really sweet compassionate guy and

42:23

he deserves to be

42:25

sexually fulfilled. It's always about women and don't

42:27

demand this of them but like why why

42:30

don't his needs matter? Yeah. He's not being

42:32

unreasonable and neither is she. Yeah. That's

42:34

why it sucks. I think there's a really

42:37

it sucks it sucks because it's so much

42:39

time and you've been together for so long

42:41

since such a young age that

42:43

you may have been growing into these people. You

42:46

may have been growing apart and not even realized it.

42:49

Yeah. Yeah. It's

42:51

uncalled fallacy. Yeah. You're both

42:53

young enough that you could still go and still

42:55

have like total chapter twos and

42:58

you know you can share custody of that cat. It'll

43:00

be okay. No you can't. No

43:02

one who breaks up can share custody and have it going for that long.

43:06

I don't like saying kick it anymore. Okay. I'll

43:09

just move right along from the Muppet movie

43:11

because my daughter went. Move right along. The

43:13

one with Amy Adams or one of the

43:15

older ones? No the original one. Okay. It

43:18

has like a ton of cameos. Move

43:21

right along. Hi. Eliza

43:23

Emily. The rest of the crew. I 34 year

43:25

old female have been a fan since Eliza's first

43:27

Netflix special. I'm in the middle of Girlogic which

43:29

I want to give to my niece when she's

43:32

a little older. She's only 12 right now. I

43:34

have a new copy though. Yeah. We'll buy a

43:36

new one. Paper and hardback just

43:38

to see what her wrist can handle. I

43:41

have even converted my 36 year

43:43

old boyfriend to an Eliza fan to

43:46

the point where he quotes Eliza specials

43:48

in everyday conversation. That's a man's man. Shocker.

43:51

My question is not about my

43:53

relationship. I have a very good

43:55

friend since freshman year of college. Wait now just go

43:57

up and see how old she was. It's you. 34.

44:00

So that's okay. Over 10 years that had a

44:02

baby boy while I was listening to your latest AIA

44:05

episode. I text her in the morning saying, bro, you're

44:07

gonna be pooping in a room full of people soon

44:09

as she was due to deliver next week. I was

44:11

pleasantly surprised at the picture of her and her little

44:13

nugget that made his debut in the world while I

44:16

was listening to you and Emily Bantor. By the way,

44:18

it's one of my favorite parts of each episode. Back

44:21

to my friend, when she told me of her pregnancy and

44:23

that she would be growing a penis in her room, oh,

44:25

I quickly bought her two

44:27

pairs of baby Converse, which

44:30

I had shipped to her home. Last

44:32

month she had her baby shower in which I bought a few

44:34

gifts and books for her son. I plan

44:37

on visiting her in a month. I want to

44:39

give her some time to get situated before I bombard

44:41

her space. My question is, when I

44:43

visit to do the customary get the fuck out of my

44:45

way and give me your baby so I can sniff his

44:47

head, what should I bring as

44:49

a gift? I want to bring something for

44:51

her and possibly her husband since I've already

44:53

given a few gifts for their first bundle

44:56

of joy. What would you have loved to

44:58

receive or what did you receive from friends

45:00

when you had your babies? Or should I

45:02

just get another gift for her son? Thanks

45:04

to the last, your fellow curly-haired millennial that

45:06

refuses to embrace them. That was such a

45:09

strongly worded summary of what your friend's going

45:11

through. You're gonna be shitting in a room,

45:13

bro. Is that a dick in your belly?

45:15

Give me that baby. In this case, though,

45:18

I think that context is helpful as to

45:20

what kind of relationship her and her friend

45:22

have. It seems stronger than a lot of

45:24

the friendships people write in about where they're

45:26

like, I'm going to go visit my best

45:28

friend who I hate. That's true. At least at least

45:30

you guys love each other. You know what I

45:32

would give? What I've been given doesn't really matter

45:34

because every mom needs different things. Every mom

45:36

has their own way of doing it. If

45:39

they have money, maybe they

45:41

might be in a place where they don't need anything else.

45:43

I don't know what they have, whatever. Give

45:46

them the night off. Ooh. I

45:49

will sit here and watch your

45:51

baby while you guys go to dinner.

45:55

I will buy or buy them a couple's massage or

45:57

something like that and they can use it when you're

45:59

gone or something. Preferably

46:01

like a masseuse that comes to the house or buy them something

46:04

that like they could maybe do together. Like

46:08

an Uber, I don't know their situation, but

46:10

like an Uber Eats postcard, a postcard, gift

46:12

card, something that actually

46:15

rather than ads to take

46:17

something off their plate. That's

46:20

what I would give. Start a meal train for them.

46:24

Oh God, just don't ask Emily to be part of it.

46:27

Post it on our questions, don't ask our

46:29

followers. I also, yeah,

46:32

do they have babysitting covered? It's

46:35

tough too when you give the amount

46:38

of just plastic that we end up with like

46:40

little toys like don't give them like single use

46:42

things. If you're going to give them a toy, maybe give them a

46:44

toy that grows with the child. It's

46:46

also tough when people give gifts that are like, and he can

46:48

use this when he's three, you're like, so I have to hold

46:50

on to this till then. A

46:54

beautiful blanket is always great, like with their

46:56

initials on it, like classic things are always

46:58

nice, but take stock

47:00

of what they have. So you're not giving

47:02

like another stuffed animal, another

47:05

place. Like kids don't need as

47:07

much as we give them. Yeah, but I like the idea of giving

47:09

something to the parents. Like I had a friend, not a

47:11

baby. And I was like, I don't know what to get

47:13

the baby. So I got like the dog, a gift basket.

47:15

So I was like, that baby is getting all the attention

47:17

now and the dog isn't. So I was kind of like,

47:20

okay, I know you don't have this, you know, this is

47:22

something different. Also ask her, be like,

47:24

are you breastfeeding? Do you need a breast friend

47:26

pillow? Do you need a boppy? Do you need

47:28

like, you also, if you're a first time mom,

47:30

kind of don't know what you might need. Yeah.

47:34

You know what? Actually, you know what? You

47:36

know what? You should give her, you should give her.

47:38

I don't know the brand of it because there's a billion brands. My cousin

47:40

Harley. So shout out to Harley because I saw her do this. Got

47:44

a bottle that has a

47:46

little plastic tube coming out of it

47:48

and it attaches to a pacifier. So

47:51

your baby can suck down milk

47:53

without you holding the bottle. If

47:56

they're like three months old, the amount

47:58

of time mother spend just literally. holding

48:00

a bottle. And I know you could like prop it

48:02

up or something with like a cloth, but

48:04

this way your baby can suck on a pacifier and

48:06

feed themselves and the bottle can just sit next to

48:08

him. Find it on Amazon. Give

48:11

that. Give her the gift of having

48:13

her hands back. You know what

48:15

baby thing I'm obsessed with? Do you have that little thing

48:18

that you use to just scoop their boogers

48:20

out? I've never

48:22

needed to do that. I don't. The

48:24

internet was making it seem like a real

48:26

big problem. The baby has got boogers pouring

48:28

out. They just, you gotta, you gotta get

48:30

in there and mine them. Like, Oh, the

48:32

baby's drowning in the boogers. That's

48:35

what's crazy about this is I've never had to do

48:37

that. I've never had to like put something

48:39

in my daughter's butt to relieve her gas. Oh,

48:41

and the fingernails. Plenty of kids do. You have

48:44

to deal with like, oh, pointy fingernails. Get

48:47

them the Hakka. It's

48:50

not the Hakka like the Maori dance,

48:52

but like it's called the Hakka. It's

48:54

a, it's a, an electric nail file

48:56

that has different attachments for the older your

48:59

kid gets. And then there's one for like adults

49:01

that all comes, this comes with like five attachments

49:04

and it's a nail file that just goes around. So you

49:06

can file down your kid's nails. It doesn't hurt at

49:08

all. You couldn't hurt them. You could do it on your own

49:10

skin and you, cause she will need to file

49:12

his nails or otherwise it was glass from self. That's

49:14

what you get them super practical. But anyways, but that's

49:17

just like a quick little item. Anyways, those are my

49:19

answers. Next question back to the bridesmaids.

49:21

Do you remember how weird it

49:23

is? Just, I remember like having your princesses

49:25

clip your nails for you when you're like

49:27

a littler kid, like you're, you're aware of

49:29

what's going on around you, but like you

49:31

shouldn't have scissors. You might cut too low

49:34

and you're just like, okay, please. Your dad's

49:36

like, nope, there's no, please clip in this.

49:38

Here, we'll fight you. I'm

49:41

like, I'm going to hog tie you. I'm going to file these down

49:43

so you don't scratch your own. I know. I have a joke about

49:45

it. All right. Petty

49:48

Q about my mother-in-law. Hi, AI

49:50

crew, especially the talented hot

49:52

Scotty. Long

49:55

time listener. First time ask her. I think this

49:57

is a low stakes Q definitely within your pay

50:00

the lies, here we go. I,

50:02

31 female, have been with

50:04

my husband, 30 male, for over nine

50:06

years married for two. His

50:08

mother likes me, but I personally

50:10

like to keep the relationship casual

50:12

because she is a big personality,

50:14

shall we say. Four

50:17

years married for nine years and you're going

50:19

to keep it casual? Dating nine years married

50:21

two. I'm

50:23

sorry, still. Four years ago when my

50:25

husband and I got engaged, I told my close

50:27

friends at our families that I'd be keeping my

50:30

last name. I signed our license with my maiden

50:32

name and I have no intentions of ever changing

50:34

it due to the degrees I hold. Not

50:36

a nurse, by the way. Everyone

50:39

seemed to not bat an eye at this

50:41

except my mother-in-law. She insisted, you will change

50:43

your mind when you have kids, which I

50:45

found to be a bit dismissive. Further,

50:47

everything she sends to my husband and me

50:50

is addressed to Mr. and Mrs. husband's last

50:52

name. Again, this is with

50:54

full knowledge. We're not going to stalk you. This

50:57

is with full knowledge that I did not and will not

50:59

take his name. I know this is petty

51:01

and perhaps something you may say I should let

51:03

slide, but I can't help but feel she's being

51:05

deliberate and not acknowledging my choice to keep my

51:07

name. How do I gently remind her

51:09

I have my own last name and I will

51:11

remain that way? Thanks, Megan. You can use my

51:13

name because there's about a million Megans out there.

51:17

Additional context, we do not have kids, but do

51:19

plan to have a family. They will have husband's

51:21

last name and I will pick a family name

51:23

of mine for middle names. That's

51:25

my reality. My kid's last name is Galuten, both

51:28

of them. And they're

51:31

one family and I'm this separate mother, which

51:34

is always funny when you travel. The kid could have any name

51:36

because they don't actually care if the kid is yours. They just

51:38

want to make sure you pay for that seat and that seat

51:41

of the person that paid for it. I

51:44

will say this. She's

51:46

wrong. The

51:49

amount of things that you can't

51:51

possibly realize or understand until you

51:53

have kids, it's

51:55

endless. That being

51:57

said, that's a very legitimate feeling that you've had.

52:00

feel it undermines what you're saying.

52:02

And that doesn't seem like something you're ever going to go back

52:04

on. Um, it

52:06

is more difficult when your kids have a different last

52:09

name than you, but more and more, we are

52:11

living in a world where that is the

52:13

reality where parents aren't married or women are

52:15

keeping their names. So it's really not the

52:17

world she grew up in and that's okay.

52:21

If you want to go to the

52:23

mat on her being micro passive aggressive

52:25

with addressing stuff, the two of you,

52:27

you can, but at the end of the day, you

52:31

have these degrees that you earned. You're not going

52:33

to change it and you're not, and you seem

52:35

what Emily, you're at

52:38

your mouth open because you're so right.

52:40

She's a hundred percent doing it on purpose. And

52:42

I think in that situation, all you want is

52:44

for someone else to acknowledge. Yeah, she's being petty.

52:47

Does it matter? Oh, there you go. And

52:50

you know what? It's not coming from a mean place.

52:52

She wants, you know, to all be wrapped up. You're in the

52:54

family. I think you could say to

52:56

her. Your, I really

52:59

respect what you're saying and those are your experiences,

53:01

but your, um, unwillingness

53:03

to acknowledge where I'm coming from makes

53:06

it harder for me to get close to you. And

53:09

I do want us to be closer and

53:13

she'll be like, Oh, and she'll just repeat herself over and

53:15

over, but at least you will have been heard if

53:17

you're willing to have that uncomfortable conversation.

53:20

You can also say to her, you know, for

53:22

women of my generation, acknowledging what she's

53:24

saying, it means a lot to be

53:26

independent and to have gotten these degrees that I work

53:28

so hard for. Um, I

53:32

will, I mean,

53:34

do you not get to be a doctor if you

53:36

change your last name to your husband's last name, or that

53:38

obviously means something to you that those

53:41

degrees, I think the issue is those degrees

53:43

are in that name. So

53:46

when they're hung up on the wall, wherever you are,

53:48

you want that. And that, I think that means a

53:50

lot to you and that's okay that that does. And

53:52

I think not that you owe her

53:54

an explanation, but if you explain where you were

53:56

coming from and you can say like, we are going to

53:58

have kids and the kids will. We live in

54:00

a world where it's fine that the kids don't have the same

54:02

name. We live in a world that accommodates that and

54:05

I want you to be a part of all of

54:07

that. And I always want to include

54:09

you, but I need there to not be this weirdness

54:11

where if we disagree

54:14

that there's like something between us and

54:16

she'll be like, oh, there isn't. I'm just telling you how

54:18

I feel. And you'd be like, I'm hearing you and I

54:20

always want to hear you. And I just want you to hear me.

54:24

You're the one with the psychology degree. I'm guessing you're a

54:27

psychologist. I don't know. Like

54:29

I just, but I think there's a really

54:31

nice way to say, like, I know this is coming from a

54:33

really good place, but these things mean a lot to me and

54:36

we don't live in a world that really requires you would

54:38

take your husband's last name because you were

54:40

becoming his property. He

54:42

was the one in charge. Women couldn't open

54:44

up, have a credit card until the seventies.

54:46

So it is an antiquated thing. It's a

54:48

lovely notion, but it doesn't

54:50

mean the same thing that it once did. No.

54:53

And I think when you have kids, it won't

54:55

really matter because when the card is written to

54:57

the husband's last names, it'll be like, yeah, of

54:59

course, because they're not going to write to the

55:01

husband's last names and you because that like, that's

55:03

just not natural. So

55:06

it's not going to matter. Everything

55:08

we get is to Eliza Schlesinger and Noah Galutin.

55:10

But it's never to people just fucking deal

55:12

with it. Galutin's and Eliza Schlesinger. They're not

55:15

like, oh, no, no, Christmas card isn't going

55:17

to, you know, it did. You

55:22

know what? If someone's sending you a Christmas card

55:24

and it's not like Honda of Suncoast, then

55:26

it's your friends writing both of your names

55:28

and people get over it. Yeah, fair. So you can

55:30

appreciate where she's coming from, but we don't live in that

55:32

world anymore. No. And she's

55:34

being jerked. Well, micro passive aggressive jerk. No

55:37

way along. Hi. First of all,

55:39

love the pod novel. Eliza's advice. Obviously.

55:42

Secondly, Eliza, I was at your first

55:44

2020 social distance comedy show in LA

55:46

in some random apartment parking lot

55:48

with a bed of a truck as a stage. You know

55:50

who used to produce those? Those Matt

55:52

Ray. Multi most comedy,

55:55

multi-millionaire golden boy Matt Rice.

55:57

Yeah. Talk about a

55:59

hustle. Yeah. Yeah, right? Yeah,

56:01

it was called low key. Low key outside.

56:05

Or was it jam in the van? No,

56:07

it was low key outside. No, I remember it was

56:09

in the bed of a U-Haul and I was

56:11

like this, I was like being a white person

56:13

standing in the bed of a truck, like this

56:16

feels racist to be like yelling with this

56:18

microphone. So here's

56:20

the guy, this person says, Emily, don't worry,

56:22

I saw you there too, holding Tiong Phil.

56:24

Oh God. I don't think I was there.

56:26

I was the one who yelled a planche

56:28

when you mentioned your dead dog. LOL, hi.

56:32

Oh, that's when I was telling dead

56:34

dog jokes. Not

56:36

jokes, I was processing it. Yeah, the

56:38

good of a great time in your

56:40

career. About how much I hate when people talk about

56:42

the rainbow bridge. I

56:45

started bawling when you came out because I've been

56:47

listening to this podcast so much as it was

56:49

a funny, insightful, and muchy distraction to the dumpster

56:51

fire that was happening at a time and bam,

56:53

there you were. Anyway,

56:55

I have a different, maybe weird type of

56:57

question I don't think you've answered before. Background,

57:00

I'm 33, female married to another

57:02

female, 30, yay for days. Contest.

57:06

We're going to try to get pregnant

57:08

soon with myself as a carrier and

57:10

our sperm donor being my

57:12

wife's brother. We feel very lucky

57:15

and grateful he's offered to do this and that

57:17

we even have the option to do so. We're

57:20

going to try as naturally as possible

57:22

at home first without the me having

57:25

sex with him part because yes, people

57:27

have asked. Think more turkey baster before

57:29

trying more invasive methods. An insane thing to

57:32

ask. Are you going to have sex with

57:34

your wife's husband? I would never

57:36

occur to me. It

57:40

would never occur to me to ask anyone like if

57:43

you were getting a sperm donor, are you going to

57:45

sleep with that donor? That's such a

57:47

shitty, ignorant, you should not be friends

57:49

with anyone that asks. Because they don't understand homosexuality. Question.

57:53

Do you

57:55

have any ideas for something we do or

57:57

say prior to starting the app?

58:00

Will all three be in our house

58:02

at one point, prepping slash doing our

58:05

things lol? I'm wondering if we

58:07

should say a little prayer or do a meditation together before

58:09

or if I just make a joke about how uncomfortable and

58:11

weird it is. But it's also really cool

58:13

to have three people wanting to create this kid in a

58:15

different way. Is there a

58:17

way to make this meaningful but albeit

58:20

awkward process a positive or lighthearted experience?

58:23

Congratulations on Baby Boy Ethan and

58:25

Sierra who I constantly quote must oranges

58:27

or around haste to myself. Oh

58:30

my god, she doesn't even say that anymore.

58:32

Maz orange please. Oh, all the things

58:34

that your kids did that you thought were the biggest deal that

58:36

they like did for six weeks and then stop. Oh

58:38

my god, I have to write that down Maz orange. Okay,

58:41

so what do you do when your

58:43

brother and I is in the other room

58:45

jerking in and then you're taking your pants

58:47

off and he you're

58:49

right in and squirt a

58:52

non turkey. Okay, okay. Emily.

58:55

How do you make this not horrible

58:57

and still have like Thanksgiving dinner with your

58:59

brother in law? First of

59:01

all, don't watch the turkey bacer because you want to keep

59:03

the family close. I

59:08

have a question if it doesn't work,

59:10

are you gonna do this like prayer

59:12

and dance a second time and like

59:14

read your joke the second time? I

59:17

actually think the idea of saying

59:19

a little prayer, it's not about

59:22

like religious prayer but

59:24

like, you know, setting

59:26

an intention and just be

59:28

like, if we could have

59:30

a baby just the two of us, we would and

59:32

it's I think if you just stick to the positive

59:34

thing of like this incredible is the clothes we

59:36

can get to the woman I love is genetics.

59:39

And this is amazing. And we're forging a path

59:41

and doing something that a lot of people don't

59:44

do. And there's always going to be I

59:46

think you should focus on how groundbreaking

59:48

that is. And while it

59:51

is, it feels weird. It is an incredibly

59:53

unique special thing you're doing and focus on

59:55

the fact that there are three whole

59:57

people wanting to create this. So

1:00:00

many babies are created and no one wanted them in the first

1:00:02

place. So I

1:00:05

can't really tell you what to do because it's not

1:00:07

my experience, but I am giving you and blessing

1:00:10

you and saying whatever you do

1:00:12

to make it special, even if

1:00:14

it's like you all have a shot of tequila

1:00:16

before or after, or you all

1:00:19

take mushrooms before, whatever it is, or you

1:00:22

all just write down an intention for that

1:00:24

baby, what you want for that baby, or

1:00:26

you just say it out loud with candles lit.

1:00:28

I think that that is just between the

1:00:30

three of you and I think that that's really cool. I

1:00:33

think it's so, I'm just

1:00:36

hearing it, but I'm like, I think that's a, I've never

1:00:38

heard of something like that. Yeah. I

1:00:40

think you don't want to be too, too jokey, but I

1:00:42

don't think you don't want to be too serious because basically

1:00:44

I feel bad for this brother who has to go like

1:00:47

do this in the other room while his

1:00:49

sister and her wife are there. Like even

1:00:51

a, it's an awkward spot. So you want

1:00:53

to, you want to be

1:00:55

grateful, but not like

1:00:57

there's a reason when you go to the doctor or you

1:00:59

have to put your urine in like that little door because

1:01:01

nobody really wants to like look you in the eye while

1:01:03

they handle your fluids. I think he does

1:01:05

his thing. I think, I think it like lives

1:01:08

for like a few hours. I

1:01:10

think you set the intention to do the thing. I think

1:01:12

you do that like in the morning or I'm just going to

1:01:14

put this out there, have him do his thing

1:01:16

and leave it for you and come to it

1:01:19

like a no pun intended, like

1:01:21

a few hours later or something. Like

1:01:23

the idea is that like he does it, leaves it in

1:01:25

the fridge. He's gone. You and your wife

1:01:27

have your special thing and you can go get

1:01:29

it when you're ready. Like he doesn't need

1:01:31

to be like sitting doing a, like reading them Sunday

1:01:33

Funnies at the table. He

1:01:36

shouldn't be there. This is, if

1:01:39

this were between a man and a woman, we

1:01:41

would be like, yeah, I get everyone else out of

1:01:43

there. So why should yours be any less sacred? Fair.

1:01:46

You know? Yeah. Yeah.

1:01:49

I think you're right. Figure out the science on

1:01:51

where it can go, how it can live. How long

1:01:53

does sperm last on a hotel mattress? No.

1:01:56

How long can survive outside the body? Uh oh, for 15

1:01:58

to 30 minutes. All right, so have him do

1:02:01

it and then have him run Have

1:02:03

him do it and leave and knock on the door and leave

1:02:05

it there and to be gone He shouldn't be there when you're

1:02:07

done No, go

1:02:10

get dinner later or just something but just make

1:02:12

it what you want it to be Yeah,

1:02:15

and don't if you're the

1:02:17

kind of person that makes jokes to feel better But

1:02:19

like don't be so willing to like make a joke

1:02:21

just because this is not traditional Yeah, that's what I

1:02:23

say as a totally heterosexual person Like

1:02:26

protect this how sacred your lesbian relationship

1:02:28

is but like why does yours have

1:02:30

to be the joke? Yeah, I like that

1:02:32

I think you're right All

1:02:35

right top of the cob The

1:02:39

doing it right Everything you

1:02:41

just take a bite the cob

1:02:43

My top of the cob is my

1:02:45

new note-taking. Here's the thing. We'll see if it

1:02:48

works out for me But

1:02:50

I because of how I input taken

1:02:52

information. I realized I had about 5,000

1:02:56

just text notepad files on my desktop at

1:02:58

work and that's insanely not a way to

1:03:00

live It's not organized. So I did a

1:03:03

lot of re actually, you know what? My

1:03:05

real top is I love researching

1:03:08

Tech products or any products I'm gonna buy

1:03:10

I love reading reviews. I love comparing

1:03:12

I love like watching a

1:03:14

weird YouTube video about how it works So

1:03:17

I put a lot of hours into this and

1:03:19

I'm so far so good because I wrote down

1:03:21

my I wrote down my fight

1:03:23

knees And my pops of the cob and

1:03:25

I'm feeling good. So we'll see it's it's

1:03:28

exciting to have like, you know

1:03:30

You're starting a new thing. Is it gonna stick and

1:03:33

Maybe you spend a lot of money on it as you told us before

1:03:35

when you reflect them What's

1:03:38

your bottle? Let's do these in clumps. What's your bottom

1:03:40

of the cob? My bottom of the cob is when

1:03:42

you sleep really bad. So this notebook I That

1:03:46

I spent all my money. No when you sleep really

1:03:48

badly and you know, it's your fault You know, you

1:03:50

could do something about it, but you don't like

1:03:52

you're just like, I know I'm not supposed to use my phone in

1:03:54

bed I know I should have gone

1:03:56

to bed. Oh, yeah. Why am I just scrolling

1:03:58

on Twitter? Oh, yeah Like that's

1:04:00

my that's on me and also I saw horribly

1:04:03

and I'm gonna be mad tomorrow But I could

1:04:05

have done something to change it and I'm not

1:04:07

going to do that. It's it's called addiction I

1:04:09

have it to the amount of times I wake up you feel

1:04:11

like an alcoholic you wake up and your eyes hurt And

1:04:13

you're like you did this to yourself you fucking piece of shit

1:04:16

You didn't need to watch all those women tap their

1:04:18

nails on their Stanley's. Yeah. Okay. What's

1:04:20

the fan top and bottom? so the fan

1:04:22

top is Is Making

1:04:27

a new friend as an adult that just

1:04:29

so happens to love Eliza as much as

1:04:31

you do Approximately two minutes into our

1:04:33

first real conversation our love of Eliza came up and

1:04:35

I immediately knew she was the kind of friend I

1:04:37

wanted I know she's listening. So shout out to Q.

1:04:39

I'm so glad you made it to my corner of

1:04:41

the world Emily I

1:04:45

love that. We're using names. It's the bottom of the cup.

1:04:47

I love that. Thank you. I love that I know I

1:04:49

try not to read too many that are there are a

1:04:51

lot of cobs about you like a lot about you But

1:04:53

I try not to read them all. Thank you Highlight

1:04:57

Emily hot Scotty and all the kids and

1:04:59

four legged friends love the podcast makes my

1:05:01

commute much more bearable My bottom

1:05:04

of the cup is in honor of my husband.

1:05:06

He is actively are you allowed to do a

1:05:08

transferable bottom of the cup? I feel like you

1:05:10

can it's really funny. Yeah, we didn't say no

1:05:12

transfer We didn't specify at the bottom of the

1:05:15

coupon no transfer So he is

1:05:17

actively looking for work the last six

1:05:19

plus months every interview and second interview

1:05:21

He's been on has resulted in being

1:05:23

ghosted I understand the company not

1:05:25

responding just to an application or resume submission

1:05:27

But when a candidate is invited to an

1:05:29

interview and then drives to the company for

1:05:31

a second interview At least give the courtesy

1:05:33

of a thank you, but we've decided to

1:05:36

go a different direction email It's so rude

1:05:38

how the expectation is now assume you didn't

1:05:40

get the job unless we call you back

1:05:42

It shows the lack of integrity and demonstrates

1:05:44

how they treat their employees Thanks

1:05:46

for letting me vent It hurts me to see how hard

1:05:48

my husband is seeking work only to get ghosted over

1:05:51

and over again He doesn't work in Hollywood

1:05:53

because that is standard. I was like, oh is

1:05:55

he an actor? Oh, we

1:05:57

love you and they gaslight you of being like we love

1:05:59

you You're incredible. No

1:06:01

notes, not you. We want to find the

1:06:04

right project for you. No, not that, but please,

1:06:06

please something soon. Okay, I'll be out of the office. I've got

1:06:08

spring break by. Okay, my

1:06:10

I clumped them because my top and bottom

1:06:12

are the same topic. I have

1:06:15

and I'm saying this because it's a

1:06:18

little bit of TMI, but maybe it'll make someone else feel better. It's

1:06:21

kind of contradicting my fight me at the beginning, but I'm

1:06:23

just going to say this because like when people talk about

1:06:25

stuff too much, but I'm only saying this one, so it

1:06:27

should be okay. I

1:06:31

breastfed and by breastfed, I mean

1:06:34

breastfed, but also pumped for Sierra

1:06:36

for four months. And

1:06:40

for Ethan, I made it about

1:06:43

a month. And as

1:06:45

of like today, I am done

1:06:47

pumping. I am sad

1:06:49

about it because it is something

1:06:52

that I can do. And

1:06:54

I know he's fine with

1:06:56

the lovely formula that we have for him. But

1:07:00

it makes me feel very, very bad, like chemically in

1:07:02

my brain. And

1:07:05

I like that it burns calories, but

1:07:08

it makes me feel so bad that I had to

1:07:10

stop doing it. So I feel

1:07:13

bad. I'm like, Oh, no. Like,

1:07:15

is this how, you know, as a mom, you're like, Oh,

1:07:17

no. Does this mean that like, I'll always give her everything and he

1:07:19

won't get enough. Like you start to think about

1:07:21

like, what does this mean? And I

1:07:24

have to keep reminding myself, like you had to stop doing it because

1:07:27

it made you feel chemically and

1:07:29

mentally very, very bad. And that's a real thing.

1:07:31

It doesn't affect all women. So

1:07:33

the top is that I'm done. So I don't

1:07:35

have to deal with that.

1:07:37

I don't have to dread waking up

1:07:39

and expelling milk.

1:07:42

How do you multiple times a day? Is it

1:07:44

rude to ask? How do you just decide? How

1:07:46

does your body know that it should stop doing

1:07:49

that? So it takes a

1:07:51

bit. Like you have to like, if

1:07:53

you're really, I kind of white

1:07:55

knuckled it, but the way to do it is to like, of

1:07:57

all the feedings you do, like let's say you do like. six

1:08:00

a day, then you take out one. And

1:08:02

if you become, I hate the word in gorge, but

1:08:04

if that happens and they say, just

1:08:06

expel, like expel express. Oh

1:08:09

my God. I don't know. Express makes

1:08:11

me think of anal glands. I like expel better.

1:08:13

Same thing. Uh, express just a little bit

1:08:16

of milk to like relieve some of it. So

1:08:18

it is like a process. And I just was

1:08:21

like, Nope, I'm just gonna just

1:08:23

do this once or twice a day or three times. I

1:08:26

did actually, it took me about a

1:08:28

week. Oh boy. And,

1:08:30

uh, today was the first day. I didn't

1:08:32

do it at all. And I, I

1:08:34

like, look at all of my equipment and all my

1:08:37

pump and all my stuff. And I'm just like, it's

1:08:39

a bummer, but I would do it

1:08:41

and I would let it take up time if it didn't

1:08:43

chemically make me feel absolutely

1:08:47

beyond anxious and upset and weird.

1:08:50

So that's it. Top

1:08:53

and bottom is that I couldn't keep doing it,

1:08:55

but my top is that I will probably feel

1:08:57

better and I have been feeling more like myself

1:08:59

lately. So it's exciting.

1:09:01

One body is a mystery. Yeah. That's my top and

1:09:03

bottom. I shouldn't have shared that, but I did. I

1:09:06

think that's because people want

1:09:08

to hear that. Yeah.

1:09:12

I'm conflicted about it, but like

1:09:14

if someone was like, Oh, you shouldn't, because I'd be like,

1:09:16

I'm not interested in that. I did because I needed to.

1:09:19

Yeah. When moms forget to take care of themselves. Don't

1:09:22

worry. They send their medical opinions to the

1:09:24

ask Eliza thing, which I check and you

1:09:26

don't, so you're safe. I'd

1:09:28

also like to say, you know, it is a thing.

1:09:30

It's called like, like dysphoric

1:09:33

lactation, something where most women feel good

1:09:35

when they express milk or breastfeed and

1:09:37

some, a small percentage of just don't.

1:09:40

Um, and when I took Ethan to the doctor

1:09:42

for his checkup the other day, uh, turns

1:09:45

out he's tall and thin and doing great. They

1:09:47

gave him his shots. Um, the

1:09:51

dad's tall, my brother's tall. Like I'm just

1:09:54

not a tall person. Uh, the nurse

1:09:56

after she like did hit, I'm sorry, it was a guy

1:09:58

after the guy did this up. gave me

1:10:00

this like multiple like 50,000

1:10:04

times photocopied over like form he's like in mom

1:10:06

if you just want to fill this out And it was like a mental

1:10:08

health thing and I looked at my go. I'm not gonna

1:10:10

fill it out He's like well. We just need I go

1:10:12

I'm not gonna kill myself And I don't need you to monitor

1:10:14

it But I know you have to do your job and then

1:10:17

the doctor who's lovely came in Checked Ethan he goes yeah, and

1:10:19

if you just want to fill this out I go I'm not

1:10:21

doing it not gonna kill myself not

1:10:23

gonna hurt myself not gonna hurt the baby And

1:10:25

he's like well We're just you know I want you want you to know

1:10:27

we're here for you I go here for my baby and

1:10:30

I see a therapist But

1:10:32

I don't need to fill out this like

1:10:35

Xerox thing asking like if I'm sad I

1:10:39

Sorry, I just I don't need to answer to everybody

1:10:41

how I'm feeling I would not trust

1:10:43

anyone less than than you that the woman

1:10:45

is like no I'm definitely not gonna do

1:10:47

anything bad. I'd be like now. I'm gonna

1:10:49

give you six forms because what's happening here

1:10:51

Well, it's all the way you say like

1:10:53

I'm definitely not gonna do anything bad. I'm

1:10:55

sorry It's just like this piece of paper

1:10:57

You're gonna glance at file it away never

1:10:59

look at it and then next time they'll

1:11:01

make you fill it out again Cuz they're

1:11:03

not gonna refer back to the original thing

1:11:05

you filled out a hundred percent I don't

1:11:07

disagree that it's just bureaucratic like covering their

1:11:09

asses, but I also would not trust you

1:11:11

at all Whatever

1:11:14

they know what I do for them fine and

1:11:16

plenty of women aren't fine, but I just was like I don't

1:11:18

need I Don't need to

1:11:20

tell you how I'm doing right

1:11:22

I Just don't I'm fine and

1:11:25

trust that I'm taking care of it on my own

1:11:27

and I looked at my said I see a therapist

1:11:30

But I'm also fine. Okay. Also that would make me

1:11:32

not trust you at all when you're like, don't worry

1:11:34

I'm getting it looked at for

1:11:36

sure because I hesitate. I was like

1:11:38

I I'm fine now Like I

1:11:40

just I was like, oh no the more I talk the more the sound

1:11:43

Awful. I just don't like

1:11:45

that. I don't like having to share information

1:11:47

about myself To ultimately

1:11:50

someone who like is just gonna like refer

1:11:52

me like it's nothing about the doctor. He

1:11:54

was doing his job, but like I Don't

1:11:57

know. I think you're someone that

1:11:59

does question the like why of things

1:12:01

like why why why do you need this

1:12:04

what's the purpose it would be

1:12:06

easier to go along to get along but

1:12:08

that's not who you are question fucking everything like

1:12:10

at LA Live yesterday when the girl said I

1:12:12

had to pay $40 to Park and I didn't

1:12:15

and I made the event that I was that give me a refund

1:12:19

question everything lower

1:12:21

like soft power authority do not

1:12:24

just take what you hear except

1:12:26

for when we speak because just know we

1:12:28

don't know you but we have your best

1:12:30

interest in her maybe

1:12:33

and Emily on this podcast

1:12:36

go to what yeah

1:12:39

go to eliza.com/tour we have

1:12:41

the tour kicking off soon

1:12:43

I know that it's

1:12:46

very easy to look at tickets and be like oh I'll

1:12:48

just get them later the delicious

1:12:50

seats get scooped up and

1:12:52

and then you miss out so I'm not gonna

1:12:54

sell it to you these shows always sell out

1:12:56

just fine but I always want the truest fans

1:12:58

to have the best seats or we had a

1:13:00

second show or a third show. Some fans keep

1:13:05

keep all your top and bottoms coming and

1:13:07

your fight me's we love the audio I

1:13:09

would like to play to

1:13:12

an episode because I enjoy it so much but

1:13:14

well Emily rules with an iron paw if

1:13:17

you want to send us your fight me Emily

1:13:19

you go to ask

1:13:22

Eliza [email protected] you

1:13:24

record a voice note do you have an Apple phone you

1:13:26

know I should save this from my bottom of the

1:13:28

cob I'm gonna tell you right now a lot

1:13:30

of you've already turned on when people have to

1:13:32

be like listen to my podcast get it where

1:13:34

every podcast we know where podcasts are the fact

1:13:37

that you always have to be like spot on

1:13:39

my Apple or wherever find podcast like who is

1:13:41

listening that's just like but where are they did

1:13:43

I always say this last week no

1:13:46

but it's accurate I'd be crazy wait

1:13:48

why do we keep saying this all right go ahead okay email

1:13:50

ask guys is [email protected] with your voice note

1:13:52

you can record a voice note on an

1:13:54

iPhone by searching on your phone for voice

1:13:57

memos in voice memos you just hit the

1:13:59

little red red record button it will

1:14:01

record audio of you you will then

1:14:03

just attach it to the email that

1:14:05

you email to askliza.gasagemail.com or if you

1:14:07

do it fancier just send me an

1:14:09

mp3 I don't care how you do it

1:14:11

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1:14:21

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