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Hey. Everyone you know the

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guest of today's flashback episode

0:25

from Mad Men Community Anglo

0:27

here is Alison. Brie. Ladies

0:32

and gentlemen, you are listening to

0:34

our qualified or their host own

0:36

affairs. So

0:49

I watched the trailer for somebody

0:51

I used to. Now I immediately

0:53

side of a time in my

0:55

life as probably around Twenty Four

0:57

Twenty five when I decided to

0:59

make a pro active choice towards

1:02

my inclination to jealousy. Like we're

1:04

in an industry where we're competing

1:06

with our dear friends. and it's

1:08

not Is though you can calculate

1:10

it like there's a time trial.

1:12

Like an athlete, you're left with

1:14

this inexplicable fog of why you

1:17

didn't get the role. Yes, you

1:19

know and yet your friend did. And

1:21

I was also really intimidated by beautiful

1:23

people. When I first moved to Los

1:25

Angeles I was like this town. Is

1:28

beautiful. You had some of these

1:30

people look like they're on T V.

1:33

So as I watched your trailer,

1:35

that idea came sort of immediately.

1:37

Sort of a gut reaction. but

1:39

the idea of your nemesis becoming

1:41

somebody you love. I think that

1:43

there's a lot of themes that

1:46

we're juggling in this movie and

1:48

in a one of them starts

1:50

more with the one that Got

1:52

Away Right who's played by Jay

1:54

Alice and I think kind of

1:56

trying to dismantle this idea when

1:58

I was. Younger my choice. These I

2:00

was a real on again off again gal

2:02

with the guys I was dating. oh what

2:04

do you mean like we would break up

2:06

and get back together And break up and

2:08

get back together. And it's like I didn't

2:11

know how to trust my own instincts for

2:13

the people that I shouldn't be with any.

2:15

With the pattern, you know I watched my

2:17

mom's do it. My mom would often had

2:19

a break up with a guy and then

2:21

tell my sister and I all the reasons

2:23

why he was the worst person in the

2:25

world and then she'd get back together with

2:27

them a month later which is very confusing

2:30

for everybody involved. And for my high school

2:32

college twenties I had that same pattern of

2:34

not trusting. I would be like ah, a

2:36

do not want to be with this person,

2:38

a break up with them and then the

2:40

second I felt lonely, say it was like

2:42

I was the problem. I was the reason

2:44

that it didn't work out. She's the answer

2:47

to everything. That's why I'm unhappy. You know,

2:49

it wasn't until I was older that I

2:51

started to think war is. start with you

2:53

and get your shit street with you. It's

2:55

other prisoners and on. Lock this stuff and

2:57

a lot of the time. certainly people do.

2:59

Have. Stories where they get back together with someone

3:01

that the dated a while ago and it's

3:03

like the. Answer to everything but I just

3:06

got this idea of the one that got.

3:08

Away is really interesting to me. Because I

3:10

also think there's a reason why you

3:12

break up with people and like you.

3:14

We think that those reasons ever just

3:17

actually disappear and whatnot. So then the

3:19

other thing we're talking about right is

3:21

that my character learn set. This guy

3:23

is getting married this weekend. She felt

3:25

like they have this amazing connection and

3:27

maybe he's the answer to everything. And

3:29

then she learned she's getting married that

3:32

weekend and she meets the girl and

3:34

of course she wants to hate her

3:36

And she does That mean she does

3:38

to try and hard to. But

3:40

certainly there's that element. I mean

3:42

like the way that you talk

3:44

about yourself. I think wanting to

3:47

combat those feelings of jealousy by

3:49

like having genuinely positive feelings for

3:51

another person is so wonderful and

3:53

generous and a great eat those

3:55

and like I'm in a try

3:57

that. And I. I

4:00

do something similar to new whole

4:02

really do why. I also think

4:04

there's something with these characters and

4:06

in life. That. To things

4:09

can be true right? And

4:11

fascinated by relationship. Between.

4:13

Women because they can just take

4:15

so many forms and like especially.

4:18

Recently and my work I feel like

4:20

it's just something. That I'm like so

4:22

into is this idea that like shop

4:24

women in your life I feel like

4:26

I will feel every single emotion and

4:29

sometimes also am feeling two different conflicting

4:31

emotions of the same time or on

4:33

even confused about i'm so proud of

4:35

my friend or am I jealous or

4:37

to I love her or do I

4:39

want to fuck her or do I

4:42

hate her. Issue by

4:44

enemies? Or do I just want to be

4:46

her slaves? You know I'm so in awe

4:48

of her. A my Inspired by her so.

4:51

Like him this movie. there's elements of that

4:53

of kind of seeing a person who consider

4:55

know the circumstances. You feel like you want

4:57

to jump to that conclusion of like this

4:59

is my enemy and then seeing all of

5:02

this connective tissue of over sort of the

5:04

same and wow. you really remind me of

5:06

who I was when I was younger and

5:08

or any of those things still a part

5:10

of me, you know, which is kind of.

5:12

The other thing we're exploring in this movie

5:15

is like going back to your hometown. What

5:17

does that even make you think about yourself

5:19

right when you see people still. Used to

5:21

hang out with in high school and like that

5:23

he the night are so different. In this

5:25

respect because. Daves is still really

5:27

close with like this big group of

5:30

guys and gals that he went to

5:32

middle school and high school with, and

5:34

he stayed friends with them now for

5:36

twenty years or whatever and. I.

5:39

Have never been that way. I mean

5:41

I have a cheap one, maybe one

5:43

from each era. Yeah and I don't

5:45

think it's like I'm like I got

5:47

to reinvent myself. You guys are old

5:50

news, but I do think there is

5:52

why. Just like without chapter my life

5:54

is over and now I'm doing it

5:56

like what's this place That a be?

5:58

Who am I? Now it's not appointed.

6:00

I don't want to be associated with

6:02

us anymore to them different person. but

6:04

it is. Oh am I become a

6:06

different person when I know what's this

6:08

for these people that are in my

6:10

life now? Well I want to catch

6:12

a little bit on the romanticization as

6:14

how we glorify and magnify our past.

6:16

Yeah ensue. Either like the positive or

6:19

the negative like the idea of the

6:21

one that got away is sort of

6:23

do would usher could us and we

6:25

are callers. We hear a lot of

6:27

that like I had this opportunity and

6:29

I think it's too simplistic. Yeah, you

6:31

know, like us, he was so great.

6:33

He was so great. Yeah and I

6:36

don't know what I did or like

6:38

my first boyfriend that I felt like

6:40

I was madly in love with. He

6:43

was so handsome, Since Air

6:45

Force. And

6:47

I felt so unattractive so I

6:49

couldn't believe it. And after he

6:51

broke up with me or first

6:53

week a college with it was

6:55

devastating. I remember reading my diary

6:58

like. A while later and

7:00

I. Wrote like I P

7:02

is laughter. Is

7:05

long or six fingers? Sort of

7:07

annoying. These. And

7:09

that was so helpful because at that

7:11

point it was like on aggregate Married.

7:14

I have my promise. Race is totally.

7:16

I mean there's a lot of women

7:18

in my life, food not so much

7:21

Now as I get older it's nice

7:23

that I think that people are learning

7:25

to break these habits. but I have

7:28

had friends or family members who yeah

7:30

they develop this sort of amnesia after

7:32

the fact. Yeah, your mom not clarify

7:34

like well what he does have these

7:37

other qualities that I just love. Definitely

7:39

definitely Will and my mom because of

7:41

her own past and childhood traumas and

7:44

other things going on. It's a thing

7:46

where the hindsight becomes will. It must

7:48

have been my fault whereas the truth

7:51

is that in the moment it was

7:53

for decision. I'd want to be with this person.

7:55

They're not right for me. They don't make me feel

7:57

good. You know I don't like myself when I'm around

7:59

them? Whatever. Isn't it is? A month later

8:01

I'm lonely. Now I'm reflecting on it and

8:03

going know I was wrong with me. I

8:06

was bad. I must have turned him off.

8:08

I did this. Why would I let him

8:10

go? There will never be anyone else as

8:12

good as him. No one will love me.

8:14

You know it's like the swings range can

8:17

go to the furthest extreme. right? An unlivable.

8:19

No one will ever want to be with

8:21

me. And by the way, I've had boyfriends

8:23

who said that. Kinda sucks to me. When

8:25

I would try to break up with them. No one will ever love

8:28

you. Oh, I'm the only person no one will

8:30

want to to you without make up on your

8:32

face off. No one knows who you really are

8:34

except for me. I feel this because I've experienced

8:37

a To and I got back with that. I

8:39

get it. I guess I'm married that guy. Is

8:41

such. Now is the first. So what's. Your to

8:44

live and learn. Your to finally go. Wait a

8:46

minute. I didn't do this with friends who say

8:48

they go out with a person. One. And.

8:50

They get back from the day and they're like

8:53

I did not like him because of this, this

8:55

this and that and then a few days go

8:57

by in there like well he never called so

8:59

I guess he know the want to be

9:01

with as I'm a piece of shit like we

9:04

we put. you don't wanna date him again member

9:06

you said you don't want to date him and

9:08

I do get that like for yeah but

9:10

I don't want to be the person that's rejected.

9:12

I want to be the reject or not

9:14

the reject. The of course you know even if

9:17

you're like Idaho to be with a person is

9:19

the ones that don't want me. Oh completely. Completely.

9:22

I've been on truly like maybe two

9:24

or three days the my life and

9:26

of as during college and I have

9:28

no idea what the people were about.

9:31

Because I was so self absorbed in getting them

9:33

to like me. Or things as we really

9:35

or the only that performance art I

9:37

was just gonna say really performing the

9:39

date I think I used to see

9:42

a great deal. yeah I bet I

9:44

bet you weren't I mean of of

9:46

it's gonna be asked about you. tell

9:48

me everything was do you want to do with

9:50

eat what you want to eat like strictly want

9:52

to drink would do everything can be so great

9:54

isn't it just took me way too long since

9:56

even ask myself whether i like to person or

9:58

not the i didn't even how to do

10:01

that. Eight days in you're like, oh

10:03

yeah yeah this guy's kind of a

10:05

shithead. I

10:08

didn't notice that. He's funny but

10:10

he's just mean. He is funny

10:13

but he's mean to everybody including me.

10:15

Yeah. That's so weird. So

10:18

tell me about your character in Somebody

10:20

I Used to Know. Ally

10:22

is a producer but what we

10:24

come to learn essentially is that

10:27

she's really artistic right she went

10:29

to school for film and used

10:31

to be really into documentary filmmaking

10:34

and now she is a producer

10:36

on like a dessert reality show

10:38

and she's sort of too self-serious

10:41

about it. You know it's kind

10:43

of like she wanted to be

10:45

this like Oscar-winning doc filmmaker. She's

10:48

making this kind of competition reality

10:50

show but trying to make everybody

10:52

be so serious about it in

10:54

a way that's like weird.

10:56

Killing the fun to an end. Killing

10:59

the fun and she doesn't have

11:01

a lot of people in her life because

11:03

she's that classic you know rom-com workaholic gal

11:05

who's like very focused on doing the thing

11:07

and kind of I think what we wanted

11:10

to do is I mean first of all

11:12

let me say that we are not

11:14

trying to disparage dessert competition shows. I

11:16

devour them. I love them. Oh I

11:18

think you're honoring them. We love

11:20

them but I think it's kind of this

11:23

type of person and especially I mean in

11:25

any industry I would imagine but like speaking

11:27

to my own because I work in an

11:29

industry that is sort of like under the

11:31

guise of doing things for art but also

11:33

it's commerce and we learn as women to

11:36

lean in to stuff so sometimes you can

11:38

find yourself in a place that's very different

11:40

than where you accepted within your own industry

11:42

because you've been like I should just lean

11:44

into the direction that they want me to

11:46

go and sometimes it's a good

11:48

thing you know sometimes I think like just do

11:51

this job take this risk who knows maybe it

11:53

doesn't seem like you're saying but you love it

11:55

like you love performing do it in any capacity

11:57

or do you end up really far from where

12:00

you wanted to be and you go

12:02

like, wow, it was like a million

12:04

little compromises that led me somewhere else.

12:06

You're forced into a position where you

12:08

have to trust. Sure. Even with people

12:10

that you might not. Like

12:12

I always have this feeling of

12:14

like, I hope they use that

12:16

take. Yeah. But never being able

12:18

to have the gumption to be like,

12:20

hey, hey, what about that one? Yes,

12:23

totally. On

12:25

this note, will you tell us about a

12:28

workplace hardship? Oh,

12:31

well, I'm trying to think if I've

12:33

ever found myself on a job that

12:35

I really hated. And

12:37

it's honestly very seldom because I kind

12:40

of think even if I was just

12:42

starting out and I would take any

12:44

role, you know, and my first film

12:46

role was in a movie called Born

12:48

about a woman who's impregnated with a

12:50

demon fetus that's like ripping guys' penises

12:52

off. Oh my God. And you played

12:54

this character? Yes, I was impregnated with

12:57

demon fetus. What a great first role.

13:00

I'll have you know that there is a scene where

13:02

the demon fetus is possessing me

13:04

and speaking to me through me.

13:07

And I have a full argument

13:09

with myself as like myself and

13:11

the demon fetus. Oh my God.

13:13

It's literally like, please no,

13:16

don't do this. I'm

13:18

going to do it. It was like,

13:20

that's it. They were like, what's the special effects on

13:22

it? But they never did. It's just me being like,

13:25

you have to stop. I

13:27

will never stop. Like,

13:30

it's so crazy. But the point of the story is

13:32

I fucking loved working on that movie. I

13:34

mean, that was my first movie. I was

13:36

like, are you kidding? I'm on a movie

13:38

set. I'm the lead of this movie. I

13:41

get to do the craziest stuff. Like I

13:43

was aware that it wasn't high art per

13:45

se, but it was so fun and great.

13:47

Like I think what we're tapping to do

13:49

with this character is that she's not really

13:51

enjoying what she's doing because She's

13:54

sort of hanging onto it too tightly. And I

13:56

Also understand that too, where it's like, I'm this

13:58

type of person anyway. where, you know., What

14:00

I'm working on. I want it to be the best

14:02

version of that. I want to be the best version

14:04

of me when I'm doing it. I can really to

14:06

her that way Were soon as I think choose it's

14:09

like you're making a thin comedy and I'm like they

14:11

have to Still I look over my lines every time

14:13

I gotta go to be nice to see. drinking plenty

14:15

of water be getting the eight hours of sleep. Enjoy

14:17

this of you don't you for like white knuckle and

14:20

you could have fun and loosen up like it's okay.

14:22

It's rocket science, were not saving lives. Not to be

14:24

little. I think what we do is very important and

14:26

it's space for people to have escapism. but I'm just

14:28

saying that's a character through line. At an

14:30

answer a question about a bad job

14:33

know you divorce. I would have specific

14:35

answers for that because I think I've

14:37

been cast as what I deem as

14:39

like the reactor sir, like the indicator

14:42

to the audience. Of how you're supposed

14:44

to see I like flights. What are you doing

14:46

now guy? Who's. Gases.

14:49

Know what I can think of? An experience.

14:52

I remember doing this in the movie one.

14:54

Which. Turned out totally fine. It

14:57

was the first time very

14:59

young filmmaker and that was

15:01

a really hard job because

15:03

I felt. Like. I just

15:05

had no trust for the director

15:07

so it felt super scary. To

15:09

me the whole thing and talk about

15:12

tightly wound I feel like I was

15:14

trying to almost direct. And for C

15:16

D. And do the all the other jobs

15:18

because I just didn't trust that this person was

15:20

gonna pull it off. Did you get back last

15:22

for that? I mean I feel emotional personal backlash

15:24

against myself because I wish I had been a

15:27

little kinder to the director. I know I was

15:29

really hard on than that. You know? I think

15:31

in my mind I could justify that the time

15:33

I've been. like also I should teach this person

15:36

and make them better at their job and you

15:38

gotta know that you should do this. But I

15:40

could have done it in a better way. I

15:42

saying I don't know. I think this is incredibly

15:45

strong. an impressive. I've never had. That kind

15:47

of guns and I'm just like

15:49

go with the Flow I guess

15:51

now of so this is my

15:53

name's probably lately I've been writing

15:55

and producing my own things because

15:57

than I do get to be

15:59

the person to be at the

16:01

take Athletic efficiency? yeah. Totally or

16:04

in this case is directed by

16:06

my husband. Advice? I trust. You, I

16:08

trust you. That's the best part. Honestly about working

16:10

with Dave is that we had the same. Sensibilities

16:13

the same taste level honestly she

16:15

has publicly said are very high

16:17

cheese level and she's so good

16:19

at what he does that I'm

16:21

just sorta like, oh, good enough

16:24

to think about that stuff at

16:26

all. Will you tell us if

16:28

you're comfortable about you and days?

16:30

Oh yeah, seven I met at

16:33

Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Where

16:35

were you in terms. Of being

16:37

receptive for a relationship is

16:40

the great question. I was

16:42

very single. I had been single

16:44

for almost a year and I

16:47

always refer to this year as

16:49

my drunkest year because hit come

16:51

out of not a good relationship.

16:54

With. A person who at the time

16:56

I found very control lane. Did you

16:58

break it off? Yes. But that guy

17:01

in I broke up got back together

17:03

like it was not a good relationship

17:05

for either of us. You know that.

17:08

Person was obviously not meant to be my present.

17:10

Things were always really hard, but I think that

17:12

was part of it that. Have me feeling

17:14

very controlled. So bad after we

17:16

broke up I spent. The next

17:18

year? Really out of control. Like

17:20

on purpose. You know? I think I

17:22

just wanted to drink all the drinks

17:24

and screw all the end. It's like

17:26

the who am I? I'm a wild

17:28

and fund. Which is probably. Right

17:30

when I met you. We're

17:33

doubling during that shoot. at the time

17:35

was having a lot of fun. I

17:37

had no desire to be in a

17:39

relationship. I remember saying to a friend,

17:41

i don't a boyfriend, I don't want a girl

17:44

from. Isn't a don't like hat and

17:46

I don't want plan. I don't want

17:48

anything in my life that I have

17:51

to take care of in any way.

17:53

Cut to the so I'm flying to

17:55

Mardi Gras with friends for like a

17:57

departure. It's Mardi Gras weekends we. Into

18:00

day that the airport. I'm with a

18:02

mutual friend of ours. The she's likely know

18:04

that I'm gonna go say hi, she talks to

18:06

him, she bites and to dinner with us and

18:08

we're just like sure. Whatever. Nothing at this point

18:11

is romantically crossing my mind at all. Then we

18:13

sets in New Orleans, we all go to dinner.

18:15

She actually said he couldn't come to dinner could

18:17

he had other plans? He lands his plans are

18:19

cancelled, needs is a dinner late were all sitting

18:21

around a big table i'm already kind of chip

18:23

see and my friend Jules the sitting next to

18:26

Dave and I get a text from her. I

18:28

checked my checks under the table and it says

18:30

like you should hook up with these tonight that

18:32

his office and I'm like. A good

18:34

run Yeah I like. Great

18:37

idea. And. Then she shows

18:39

days the taxes like what you think my

18:41

friend else and check out our little texts

18:43

exchange and he's like oh I'm into that

18:45

and she's like to know tell her that

18:47

I showed you. This text. So.

18:50

Then we get up to go to bathroom the in jewels and

18:52

she's like maybe you and dave and I was like i'm into

18:54

it but I'm Rob he's gonna be and to at. And.

18:56

She's like I showed him your text under the table

18:58

season. Do it. Is I do

19:00

not tell him that I told you

19:03

that I showed him. So we leave.

19:05

We both have a sexy secret like

19:07

it. that's the best feelings you when

19:09

someone's pulling off a great set up.

19:11

right? So now we both are like

19:13

I know you're in Sydney. This is

19:15

awesome. Jules is amazing. Jules is amazing.

19:17

Yes, you're losing. The next phase is

19:20

you know, need sauntering up to debut

19:22

with a beer full of Molly and

19:24

being like there's Malian this beer and

19:26

I think that we should share it

19:28

and have a great. Night and let

19:30

me tell you we the his sister and

19:32

my dad. That's incredible. We had agreed I

19:35

would a great weekend and then I left

19:37

him. my mighty grown ass had been wearing

19:39

all weekend with my phone number written on

19:41

it. When I left town for the weekend

19:43

he texted me a funny joke. Still even

19:45

over that weekend I was just like oh

19:48

my god this little Saudi This is what

19:50

a fun weekend I'm gonna have a great

19:52

and I left being like whatever that was

19:54

great and I landed in L A opened

19:56

up the sex from him and like my

19:58

stomach. Dropped and Isaac. Now.

20:01

I'm. Gonna fall in love with this

20:03

guy He said yeah and I

20:05

did. I think most of as

20:08

we approach relationships with their own

20:10

defenses yeah to protect ourselves. I

20:12

love it said he has like

20:14

an open enough hard to be

20:16

like I'm gonna make her last.

20:18

Let me tell you the best

20:20

thing about Dave is that she

20:22

just is who he is. She

20:24

doesn't play any games, he never

20:26

has. He's like a genuine kind

20:29

person. She really listens and talk

20:31

to people. Like from the very beginning

20:33

with she and I there was none of

20:35

that all sit at all like I would

20:37

have been into him regardless I'm sure. But

20:40

like it was so nice that she texted

20:42

me the saying that I texted my back

20:44

then he was like we should get on

20:46

the phone dummies or calling each other's Everything

20:49

was easy. He was not bringing baggage to

20:51

the table and it made me feel safe

20:53

and as to not really bring my baggage

20:56

either and just be open to the relationship.

20:58

It was so nice. What? I guess if

21:00

I was in your shoes. That slight

21:02

back to Los Angeles I would have

21:04

tortured myself. I would have been like

21:07

I love him, I love I love

21:09

and I can don't expect anything some

21:11

anybody. Ever again his the

21:13

speech. To like the place I was

21:16

in Re. I think this a lot

21:18

about acting Also. That

21:20

like you know the job that you really

21:22

want when you go in this reeking of

21:24

desperation of please give me this job It's

21:26

it's like terrible. You never get their jobs

21:28

and then you'll read something else and I

21:30

cannot write for this role at all. I

21:32

don't Hours go in and have fun and

21:34

you always gets apart and it's like not

21:36

to diminish they have to being like a

21:38

role that I felt like he met me

21:40

at this moment in my life. Rose I

21:42

am not try to be in a relationship.

21:44

Also remember telling him on our second

21:46

night together in New Orleans out at

21:48

drinks with everybody and somebody said something

21:51

like this guy wants to get married

21:53

at by the time he's thirty or

21:55

something and I was like oh my

21:57

god well I don't want to get

21:59

married ever. So I can just be the gal

22:01

you have sex with until you meet the gal that you're

22:03

going to marry. Like, but meant it

22:05

genuinely. What was right? Trying to play the game

22:07

of like, I'm a cool girl. I don't even

22:10

care. I was like at a moment in my

22:12

life where I was like, whoa, I don't want

22:14

to be that person. So let's just have fun.

22:16

I don't care at all. And then as soon

22:19

as I started to care, he was just right

22:21

there with me. I never felt with Dave like,

22:23

oh, I should wait a day before I text

22:25

him back. Do you know what I mean? Yes.

22:27

What a great origin that you were in that

22:30

place. It was nice. So

22:57

to recap, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month

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23:21

All turns at mintmobile.com. Hey.

23:41

Hi. How are

23:43

you? Good. How are you? Great.

23:46

Matthew, you're here with Allison. She's

23:48

amazing. She's a dear friend of mine.

23:50

And I can't thank you

23:52

enough for your letter. Will you tell us what's going on?

23:55

Yeah. And it's really nice to meet both of

23:57

you. This is really cool. Thank you. Nice to

23:59

meet you. So the

24:02

last year in my dating life has

24:04

been kind of like a whirlwind in

24:06

a good way, I think, like lots

24:08

of new experiences. And I kind of

24:11

want to figure out where I'm at

24:13

now and what I want to do

24:15

in the future. So last year, I

24:17

like had my first serious girlfriend and

24:20

fell in love. Did you guys meet

24:22

during the pandemic? More near the end

24:24

of the pandemic, like last March. I

24:26

mean, we met a year before that.

24:28

Was it in a friend circle? Yeah,

24:31

we worked together for a little bit. Matthew,

24:33

how old are you? I'm 25. It's

24:35

a perfect time for a first serious

24:37

girlfriend. Yes. Yeah. The first time I

24:39

met her, we were going to like

24:41

a work dinner with a bunch of

24:43

the new cohort. And she was one

24:45

of them. And we started talking and

24:47

I had a crush pretty immediately on

24:49

this girl. But also in that first

24:51

conversation, she let me know she had

24:54

a boyfriend. Like it came up in conversation. A

24:56

normal way. Not like you were like, hey, nice to

24:58

meet you. And she was like, I have a boyfriend. And

25:02

so we just became friends, you know, work friends.

25:04

That was in the fall. And then in the

25:07

winter, she ended up dropping the program

25:10

and ended up going to like another

25:12

city for a couple months and then

25:15

ended up breaking up with her

25:17

boyfriend. So she came back to

25:19

our city just to get her

25:21

stuff back from her boyfriend's apartment.

25:23

And then I was like, well, this is

25:26

my like last chance to get to see

25:28

her. Like everything started on that trip. Did

25:30

she reach out to you like text you,

25:32

hey, I'm coming back to town. So we

25:34

were texting each other back and forth a

25:36

little bit while she was away and before

25:38

she came back. And I was just like,

25:40

oh, we should hang out and you should

25:42

see all like the old people from work.

25:45

And we hung out a lot those days.

25:47

And then like I ended up having like

25:49

a party over at my place so everybody

25:51

could be together. And then that's kind of

25:53

when things got more serious. And we hung

25:55

out the rest of our trip here. I

25:58

think it's really amazing. that

26:00

you weren't like heavy-handed with the

26:02

flirtation. You know what I mean?

26:04

That you guys were texting or

26:06

whatever, but that you presented yourself,

26:09

like you weren't pushing it too

26:11

hard. Like that's fairly

26:13

commendable. Thanks. Don't you think,

26:15

Allison? Definitely, yeah. It sounds like you really gave

26:17

her space to do

26:19

the things that she was doing in her

26:21

life for her. And that's so nice. Not

26:23

just like a, what's up. Yeah.

26:28

But then what happened? Yeah, so then,

26:31

at the end of this trip for her to

26:34

get all her stuff, because she decided to go

26:36

move to this new city. And

26:38

at the end of this trip, I was like really sad,

26:40

because I was like, oh, I wish you were just here.

26:43

And I talked it over with like my roommate

26:45

too. And I was like, I probably just have

26:47

to like, make sure this doesn't keep going or

26:49

something, but I really wanted it to. And I

26:52

basically let her know this on like the last

26:54

night she was in town. I let her know

26:56

both things, that I wanted this to work out,

26:58

but it also just makes sense. Dwee, had you

27:01

guys been intimate or like kissed? Yes, we had.

27:03

How long was this period of time that she

27:05

was like back in the same city as you?

27:07

It was a week long. Okay, but it was

27:09

a week and you guys were hanging out like

27:12

every night. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's like a

27:14

magical week, isn't it? Yeah, it was nice.

27:16

And then she's moving to a different city.

27:18

Yes. And does she have a job already

27:20

in this city? Like how set up is she? She does

27:22

have a job, but it was remote. And

27:24

she already has like an apartment in the

27:26

new place and like signed a lease and

27:28

everything. Oh, okay. So there was like, oh,

27:31

you're remote. I don't know, we could make

27:33

this work. So I let her know both

27:35

sides. I was like, we should probably like

27:37

not. And then she was like, oh, maybe

27:39

it could work out. I don't know. And

27:41

so we tried to make it work and

27:43

do little trips and stuff is what we

27:45

kind of landed on. We weren't like official

27:47

or exclusive yet, but our cities are close

27:49

enough. Let's just see where this goes. Who

27:51

sort of dictated those terms? I mean,

27:53

it sounds reasonable enough, but it also

27:56

sounds painful. Yeah. We

27:58

know a long distance relationship. Like

28:00

nobody's business for read, I think we've

28:02

landed on the terms together of in

28:05

I was excited. So it's

28:07

kind of working as you doing is sets

28:09

you haven't put too much pressure on your

28:11

relationship by dictating. Times Media exclusives. Yeah

28:13

yeah and then where does it all

28:16

blow up? So then on a trip

28:18

that I said to her city. And.

28:20

I think this is partly just because it's

28:23

my first serious relationship like this is where

28:25

I then asked her to be mined girlfriend

28:27

on this trip to her. So. I

28:29

guess we're really like boyfriend girlfriend for a

28:31

pretty short time like a month. Basically us

28:33

or the. Exclusive on that trip and

28:36

she comes to see you and your

28:38

exclusive sell. Out of here and then

28:40

a few weeks later. That's when. We.

28:42

End up breaking it off just because

28:45

the long distances to stand here. She

28:47

said the whole point of moving to

28:49

this new city was she did not

28:51

like the city that I'm in right

28:53

now and she didn't find are people

28:55

here and she like loves the new

28:58

city and like sounds a great roommates,

29:00

great friends and stuff. And

29:02

so she said She just like

29:04

wanted to have that and be

29:06

one hundred percent in that new

29:08

place and not has like this

29:10

long distance. Let's see each defense.

29:12

She's twenty three and. Say okay and

29:14

so were you guys that now it was her decision

29:16

to planet and things that as it's too hard to

29:18

keep going back to this city where she doesn't have

29:21

people either the knew who she. Really cares about,

29:23

but she's like china to her new thing.

29:25

And how long though, is that? This was

29:27

I think ten men may or

29:29

June. So where we are now? It's like

29:31

you're still having feelings for her. I was

29:34

for a while like the breakup was

29:36

by tough. Yeah, it's your

29:38

first I'd I'd say I'm glad there.

29:40

And are you guys still in touch?

29:43

Like since may you guys still talk

29:45

and such. Yeah we just texted here

29:47

in there and this is partly were like

29:49

a transition is coming I think at least

29:52

now cause I did see her in December

29:54

actually because of that cousins in this city

29:56

that she lives in twos I was just

29:58

visiting them for her the trip or something

30:00

and got in touch with their and saw

30:03

her see you texted her like him in

30:05

town the Alameda yeah and how is that?

30:07

It was good. I think it was necessary

30:09

because I think before that I was like

30:11

oh maybe something in the future like some

30:14

how later down the road the sole still

30:16

work out but she is like seeing somebody

30:18

else right now so I think I was

30:20

like the nail on the costs and where

30:22

it's just like okay time to move on.

30:25

A real. I mean Matthew, It

30:27

sounds honestly like not a

30:29

terrible first heartbreak, yes situation.

30:31

You know, because it sounds

30:34

like she cared about you

30:36

a lives. And if she

30:38

did stay living in the same city with

30:40

you then maybe you guys would. It's continued

30:42

to date and things like that, the both

30:44

still. Are quite young as a

30:47

and long distance is very

30:49

hard and. Will say that

30:51

two nights ago I really

30:53

watched said Justin Long Drew

30:55

Barrymore movie Going The Distance.

30:57

Us. All about

31:00

Matthew Sufi me. It's a

31:02

great six weeks together New

31:04

York and then they live

31:06

worlds apart. Know that. And

31:09

it's like, ultimately, specially when you're twenty

31:11

five, you wanna be in a relationship

31:13

with somebody that lives in the same

31:15

city as you move there. And now

31:18

this woman showed you that you have

31:20

the capacity to love someone, that it's

31:22

really fun to be in a more

31:25

committed relationship has been, and that like

31:27

love is this amazing, powerful thing and

31:29

I feel like it's one of those

31:31

breeds of said socks. And bit. But

31:34

at least it's not like things she turned

31:36

into a totally different person and settle these

31:38

horrible. Death to me? Yeah, yeah. I.

31:40

Think. That like at least you can walk

31:42

away being like wow. We had something that

31:44

was really great and I'm really lovable great

31:46

person and I would be excited to do

31:48

that again with someone who it will be

31:50

easier with because of our. Proximity? Yeah

31:53

yeah, I like that. And. Likely

31:55

hours and said about this experience

31:57

Silly new the you have. The

32:00

capacity to allows liberty.

32:02

You enjoy that experience.

32:04

As companionship, I get that.

32:07

So. I think that's wonderful.

32:09

Do. You have a lot of friends

32:12

that are like do you too

32:14

young or legs ma'am we're in

32:16

our twenties like I wonder what

32:18

pressure you're putting on yourself In

32:20

a wonders your question is about

32:22

how to achieve a long term

32:24

relationship. Again, teasing. That's what it

32:27

is. I'm under pressure. I think

32:29

it might be in a different

32:32

direction. Most of my friends are

32:34

in committed relationships. Oh yeah, That's.

32:36

An eye is either only speaks to

32:39

who you are, That's amazing. Yeah, that

32:41

makes a lot of sense. You had

32:43

such a warm sweet energy efficiency so

32:45

emotionally of all about Joe name is

32:47

that Banks? Costs are appreciative. Yeah,

32:50

so where are you at? Yeah so

32:52

the flip side the coin is

32:54

I have been trying dating apps

32:57

and did that for a little

32:59

bit and have just been like

33:01

also flirtatious with strangers. To tell

33:03

us about your dating app experience

33:06

with satellite it's okay, it's kind

33:08

of not is sparking chemistry as

33:10

like this first relationship or some

33:12

other people that I meet randomly.

33:15

I. Feel like I have more spark and more chemistry.

33:17

Is meeting people and person for the first time.

33:19

How many dates did she go on like

33:21

off of an ass I have never liked.

33:23

This is as for and world's. The I

33:26

know I was like Matthew my

33:28

own. Oh okay so that. That's

33:30

the dating app world. I

33:32

think in the past year only

33:34

one for more than a couple

33:37

dates and that was before autumn.

33:39

And. Then other people probably like Five

33:42

Six states something like that. so

33:44

like a handful, but not all

33:46

the time. Just ten a one

33:48

off. the when you meet them

33:50

in person, you're like oh, we

33:52

don't really have a connection. sorta.

33:54

Yeah, or maybe we did, but

33:56

it's not something to cultivate. Yeah,

33:58

write home about this incident. Those are

34:00

fun, but... I mean, hearing the way you talk about

34:02

it gives me hope for younger

34:04

generations to still attempt to

34:06

meet people in person because,

34:08

like, I agree with you. There's

34:11

something really nice about just chemistry with

34:13

a person, right? That you can't kind

34:15

of predict when that happens and it

34:17

could be a person you meet at

34:19

the supermarket or whatever. And

34:22

I feel like the thing with the apps

34:24

that I find so interesting is, like, people

34:26

can kind of be whoever they want to

34:29

be, right? Yeah. Everything online, it's

34:31

like, you could have a whole different persona and a

34:33

whole different life, but then on the apps, it's like,

34:35

but then I'm going to meet you in person. Like

34:37

when I hear about friends who will go out with

34:39

people whose photos look so different than the people look

34:41

in person, like, of course you want to put up,

34:44

like, the best photo of yourself. But

34:46

I also think it's, like, such a short game.

34:48

Totally. Yeah. It

34:50

feels like an audition. Right. Like,

34:53

will they find me attractive? It's

34:56

already set up as, like, a

34:58

self-absorbed process. Right. But

35:00

it's like, you're like, wouldn't you rather send someone

35:03

a picture of how you kind of actually look

35:05

so that when they meet you in person, they're

35:07

like, right, that's you. This is the person I

35:09

thought I was meeting versus, like, you're maybe going

35:11

to meet this model. Yeah. This

35:14

face-tuned, like, alien human that doesn't exist.

35:16

And then in person, you're like, sorry,

35:18

it's me. I would imagine that that's

35:20

a weird way to start off a date.

35:22

Yeah. Do you meet you a lot, Matthew, or

35:25

am I projecting? This happened maybe once.

35:27

Oh, good. It just feels cruel,

35:29

the whole thing. Yeah. At

35:32

some point, it's like people are clearly swiping

35:34

you or whatever happens in that world.

35:36

And then when you do meet,

35:38

all you're thinking about is, like, am I going

35:40

to disappoint this person? Not to

35:42

make it sound like I'm not also the

35:45

most vain person in the world, but, like,

35:47

I will say that the apps, because

35:49

you're just seeing pictures of people and

35:51

your first conversation is, like, Hi,

35:54

versus meeting in person. I Think about,

35:56

like, when I used to just be

35:58

dating, I could. Find someone

36:00

attractive based on so many other

36:02

factors than the way that they

36:05

looked. The yeah, when I just

36:07

had a run in with them

36:09

in person, I used to really

36:11

get crushes on some strange looking

36:13

people. Like and so attractive. You

36:15

know based on a number of

36:17

other factors are to be subsidized

36:19

like oh. It's such a stacked weird

36:22

way to meddle into it where you're

36:24

just like on a screen and never.

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37:15

is because you're every the predators such as me that. Matthew

37:20

Are you in a large urban area

37:22

like? I wanna know? What's what's your

37:24

social exposure? How motivated are you? I'm

37:27

in a big city okay the social

37:29

aspect ago out pretty much every weekend

37:31

that sort of thing with sands and

37:33

and just hang out with people so

37:35

I don't think I'm to cooped up

37:37

which is nice. I think this

37:39

relationship is right around the corner.

37:41

It sounds like you're over. The ruff

37:43

parts of a heartbreak you not in

37:45

a place where your romanticizing her. i

37:48

think seem to have a really clear head

37:50

about it and like i do feel like

37:52

it's like you're so right for a relationship

37:54

after you get out of that first serious

37:56

one right to have it under your belt

37:58

and like you said you like I liked

38:00

it and my friends are kind of in

38:02

that mode too. And I also

38:04

think that Matthew, people your age

38:06

now are more apt to be

38:08

in serious relationships. In your letter

38:10

though, you do mention a hookup

38:12

on New Year's Eve. Is that

38:14

part of this equation? Will you

38:17

tell us about that? A little bit, yeah. So

38:19

I guess this is kind of just

38:21

like an example in the past year

38:23

how I've been on one side of

38:25

the spectrum and the other side, like

38:27

where it was just a very casual

38:29

hookup with no follow through on either

38:31

person's part. We had each other's numbers

38:33

and she told me to text her

38:35

afterwards. And I did and I

38:37

was actually pretty excited to see her again. And

38:40

then we said, oh, maybe we'll get together

38:43

again. Maybe not. And we tried to like

38:45

plan things. She was home for the holidays.

38:47

And so she was like going back relatively

38:50

quickly. And we ended up just

38:52

not seeing each other again. So there was like some

38:54

texting afterwards. Okay, how was your final

38:56

text exchange with this gal? Were you sort

38:58

of like presenting her with an actual like,

39:00

hey, wanna maybe go out this weekend? And

39:02

she was like, oh, I'm out of town

39:05

for the holidays. And then you were like,

39:07

how about next weekend? There was

39:09

actually like a very quick shoe

39:11

exchange. She took my roommate's shoes

39:13

on accident. And so

39:16

we had to like see each other.

39:18

Okay, that's very interesting to learn because

39:20

I feel like that's a really classic,

39:22

I wanna see you again. Yeah,

39:24

is your roommate a girl? No,

39:27

no, they just have the same boots. Let

39:29

me say, Ana, that like the first night

39:31

I met and hooked up with my husband,

39:33

I did steal his shirt when I left

39:35

the next day as a way to guarantee

39:37

that I would see him again to return

39:39

the shirt. But that's such a move. Like

39:42

I would not think that this is a person

39:44

that didn't wanna hang out again. Maybe. I

39:46

will say if she didn't necessarily wanna hang

39:48

out again, it's pretty classy to like actually

39:50

return the shoes. Yes, so that's

39:52

nice that she returned them. Yeah, the

39:54

shoe exchange was like not charged in

39:56

any way. I kinda

39:58

wonder too, most of your

40:01

really close friends are in serious

40:03

relationships, how frequently you

40:05

feel like the others. You guys

40:07

all go to Cabo together. Are you like the

40:09

dude in the single room? Yeah,

40:12

maybe, maybe I do feel like the other

40:15

sometimes. Are you confused

40:17

about what you're looking for? I think

40:19

so. Because this casual like hookup was

40:21

fun. And I, I don't think I've

40:23

really had like a phase where I've

40:26

just been like having fun and not

40:28

looking for anything serious. I don't

40:30

think I have either if that's any consolation.

40:32

But now I met the love of my

40:34

life. I'm telling you, it's a

40:36

good phase. I actually think it's a good phase

40:38

to be in a mindset of like, you know

40:41

what, I'm just going to have fun and lighten

40:43

up about it. Because when you're trying to look

40:45

for it too hard, it feels impossible. It feels

40:47

like a needle in a haystack. But like, for

40:50

all intents and purposes, you just got out of

40:52

a big relationship. So now you're

40:54

in that mode where you want to just be

40:56

free and have some fun. Also, I would say

40:58

tap into your

41:01

friends who are in relationships, like friends

41:03

of friends. It's a great way to

41:05

meet people because, you

41:07

know, inherently, you might already have

41:09

some stuff in common, right? Like

41:11

your friends, girlfriend's friend. Matthew, here

41:15

is an idea. I wonder if you

41:17

just simply tell yourself not that you're

41:20

going to be single, but that you're

41:22

just going to sit back with yourself

41:24

and your experiences and not put any

41:27

pressure on it till next January. Yeah.

41:30

That's nice. I like that long runway.

41:32

Yeah. You know, a year sometimes

41:34

like so long, right? These

41:36

days I feel like they fly by.

41:39

Here's the thing that I think goes

41:41

with this, right? For that year, this

41:43

friend of mine recently, she was like,

41:45

my current mantra is if it's not

41:47

easy, it's not for me. And

41:50

I was like, I love that. Like this

41:52

girl that you had this hookup with, the

41:54

hookup was great. Now, after you're texting back

41:56

and forth too many times to make a

41:59

plan, it's It's like, okay, well, let's not

42:01

go out because why is this so difficult

42:03

just to have our next hangout? Like

42:05

it shouldn't be that hard. Nothing

42:08

should be hard. You're 25 years old. Things

42:10

should be easy and fun. But that

42:12

doesn't mean that you're not going on a second

42:14

or third date with someone that you like. If

42:17

that presents itself, it's like, this is the year

42:19

I'm going to have fun and be open to

42:21

whatever that means. I really

42:23

like this time commitment idea. And I haven't

42:26

thought of it before. When

42:28

you said it initially, it sounded like a long time

42:30

to me. And I think that's a clue that I

42:32

should probably take the advice. Good. Because

42:35

I think that means I was

42:37

secretly hoping for a quick phase or

42:39

something. But letting it breathe and giving

42:42

it some time, I think would make

42:44

it a better time. Yeah. I'm

42:46

glad you find relief in that. So

42:48

this is your study abroad year. Yeah. You're

42:51

25. I love it. You've

42:53

got nothing to lose. You know what

42:56

I mean? Open yourself to having some

42:58

really odd experiences and maybe expand

43:00

your social circle. You'd be like

43:02

that? Yeah. I believe in

43:04

your future, Matthew. Thanks so much. Thank

43:07

you so much. Yeah. Thank

43:09

you, Matthew. Good luck with it all. Yeah. I

43:12

appreciate it. So nice to meet both of you. This

43:14

was awesome. It's really nice to meet you too. Nice

43:16

to meet you too. Have a wonderful rest of your

43:18

day, Matthew. Thank you so much for talking to this.

43:25

Thank you. You're wonderful. Thank

43:27

you. So are you. You

43:29

have always been stunning. Thank you, Anna. As

43:33

actresses, we get sort of slaughtered with the

43:35

age thing. I

43:45

was going to say, you know, I just turned

43:47

40 in December and I'm like, I like it.

43:49

Oh, you look smoking hot.

43:52

Thank you. But it's interesting to

43:54

me because now everybody's like, let's talk about how

43:56

you're 40. And I'm like,

43:58

I mean, why? What about how

44:01

I was Thirty nine? I know the trains

44:03

less the station. They do have a choice.

44:05

Like why is it suddenly I

44:07

know. I think about how it's

44:10

gauged times. But

44:12

when you write, do you start?

44:14

From a character and other characters

44:16

to the chicken. Around in your

44:18

head. still. weirdly when I look

44:20

at this the real. Projects I've

44:22

written three films say that

44:25

have been made and the

44:27

Craziest. Part is that it didn't start from

44:29

a character place even though I often think in

44:31

my mind, oh, the whole reason that I'm writing.

44:33

Is said that I can write characters but

44:35

I want to play that actually every time

44:37

It was the story. The first film I

44:39

wrote had been in my mind for years

44:41

of wanting to tell a story about. So.

44:43

Know your mental illness and

44:46

my grandmother's history with paranoid

44:48

Schizophrenia. And like my paranoia about that existing

44:50

and my bloodline like that was like sort

44:52

of his abstract. Idea that I even wanted to

44:54

put into something. And then this. Movie.

44:57

It was days and I. Actually think

44:59

we started with the genre but has.

45:01

His first film that he wrote directed

45:03

was a horror movie called The Rental

45:05

Die Within and it was. So good!

45:07

And she loves horror movies and I just

45:09

think she really wanted a swing over to

45:11

the other. Side of the spectrum and.

45:14

We really wanted to write something

45:16

together and I was penalised. Well

45:18

I love from his tongue see

45:20

the light side. Of the

45:22

second. So. I thought we actually

45:24

all have started there and the like

45:27

I said of our way and was

45:29

about kind of the one that got

45:31

away and we knew we wanted to

45:33

have some sort of love triangle and

45:35

how could we may thought idea of

45:37

fresh and apply it to like how

45:39

people are today but hop into than

45:41

a soldier from like all our favorite

45:43

rom coms and head of use all

45:45

those same tropes but update them I

45:47

guess So yeah I think it's always

45:49

been more story driven and it's hard

45:52

for me to pinpoint like the we'll.

45:54

Have like a role that I would want

45:56

to do right. I feel like I don't

45:58

know them off and into. Oh I.

46:01

See. Them or if I read

46:03

that you know I will never

46:05

forget when I read the pilot

46:07

for Glow and then launched my

46:09

like full scale. Assault

46:12

on that audition process to

46:14

get that role because I

46:16

was floored. By that script and

46:18

that character and not whole world was

46:20

really interesting to me and with such

46:22

a great so for. You know what

46:24

I mean. It's not like Prior to

46:27

that I was like a dying to

46:29

play a female wrestler. I hadn't even

46:31

thought about that. You know I think

46:33

I'm the opposite. I don't necessarily know

46:36

the story but I know an idea

46:38

of like I've always wanted to play

46:40

the Los Angeles self described as. Well

46:44

as I don't exactly know

46:46

what happens to since as

46:48

an ice yeah of what

46:50

separates the exceptional to use

46:52

a sexist term. Gold digger

46:55

from the long term girlfriend?

46:57

Yeah, professional girlfriend. When

46:59

I visited Los Angeles as really

47:02

struck by the cells explanation of

47:04

like sure is who I am

47:06

and hi my spiritual I'm really

47:08

creative and and I'm a Gemini.

47:11

It is funny because it's also like

47:13

oh I still like any time I've

47:16

been asked to like pinpoint exactly who

47:18

I am and what I'm about. you

47:20

must feel this way to like aside,

47:22

I seek the stuff out some more.

47:24

Tag me and something on Instagram and

47:26

it's a quotes of something I said

47:29

ten. Twelve years ago and I'm like

47:31

oh of that reflects who I

47:33

am, that like I'm sort of like,

47:35

how could anyone ever to. Here's

47:37

what I am curious. You're like, I

47:40

don't know. I said journey through

47:42

China how I'm feeling today. Acceptance: I

47:44

mean certainly sir things that define

47:46

as so it's important like know who

47:48

you are. I guess the that

47:50

should be kept to the yearbooks. Yeah

47:53

No. It's just when

47:55

you want to flip through them is

47:57

like every ten years maybe? Totally.

48:01

Allison, I can't thank you

48:03

enough. You're so unbelievably talented.

48:06

That's a very kind thing to say.

48:08

It's very much the truth. Thank

48:11

you. Your movie is out now.

48:13

Yes. Somebody I used to

48:15

know. Somebody I used to know.

48:17

It's on Amazon Prime Video. Watch

48:19

it everywhere globally. I love you. I

48:21

love you. It's

48:30

a great place to be.