0:01

What's that. It's lip service.

0:02

I'm I'm gg maguire, I'm

0:05

Cella h oh,

0:07

I'm here, and y'all

0:11

no, no, it

0:13

is, but I just thought that, you know.

0:15

Yeah, we go around. This is your friend, which is weird.

0:18

You've never you are that's crazy. And

0:20

if you first walked in, I'm like, did we have to

0:22

never? Yeah, that's that's wild.

0:24

And the funny part is like, from

0:26

the very beginning, about twenty thirteen,

0:29

maybe we're twenty ten, maybe my first

0:31

like you were one of you were my first interview ever. I

0:33

remember I was scared to come see you because

0:36

lip Service, but.

0:36

I didn't realize that was your first interview service,

0:39

but the original like you were the first person

0:41

you were. We were cool, you were cool with Joe,

0:44

so I was just like, but I watched, and I'm like.

0:46

This is going to be crazy. Hey, it did used

0:48

to be crazy.

0:48

It used to be No, it's so crazy, it's so fun used

0:51

to be I got in trouble after that interview because we play

0:54

have that And I remember the very first

0:56

interview I ever did was lip service.

0:57

Yeah me too.

0:59

I was a yeah, so

1:02

yeah, but you know that was the point of lip service.

1:04

Right was to give women more of a voice.

1:06

So it was women who will always be seen

1:09

but not necessarily you know,

1:11

heard, like we would see you on the stream

1:13

and everything, but to sit down and do an

1:15

interview for you to for people to understand like

1:17

who you were, your personality. We kind of started

1:20

off with women in magazines and videos

1:23

and things like that that normally, like guys

1:25

would look at you but not get to know who you were

1:27

as a person. So it's just kind of

1:29

to show us as three dimensional people

1:32

with you know, and then have fun with conversations

1:34

because it's educational for guys because

1:36

there's a lot of things they don't understand about

1:38

women that I feel like, you

1:41

know, we're here to help.

1:42

They think they know, but they have no idea to

1:44

get everybody.

1:47

I got a trouble.

1:48

I got in trouble because we played the drinking game and I was way

1:50

too honest.

1:51

I always really honest.

1:52

So she was like, drink, if you've never drink,

1:54

if you ever drink, if you never drank, there's

1:56

so much stuff.

2:00

Get good.

2:01

But it is sometimes hard to

2:03

be honest because people can be very judgmental.

2:06

But the point of and even like on this

2:08

podcast. I now remember when

2:10

we were first starting, it was hard

2:12

for people to like be honest

2:14

and want to say things. It makes you be more closed off and

2:17

people start you judge, yeah, yeah,

2:20

but then it be the same people that do way worship judging

2:22

the shit you do, or.

2:23

A person underneath like that in his mama's

2:25

basement just being a troll and who

2:27

cares?

2:28

But you guys, denay and to hear

2:30

it, y'all have a podcast, yeah, and

2:33

I love that.

2:37

So that is and the story of

2:39

how y'all even linked up.

2:40

It's interesting because it's not like y'all were friends from

2:42

back in the day or anything.

2:44

And on this woman for one year,

2:47

a year, couple of months.

2:49

But I remember running into her page

2:51

on Exploring and I was like, oh from Harlem.

2:53

I was all her page. She's a dancer.

2:54

You know, I can't bust two moves if

2:56

they paid me. So I was like ooh, and I was all in it.

2:58

And then I hid you up and

3:00

I said, Greg, I need I need someone I

3:03

want to I want to have this idea, and he was like,

3:05

I have a perfect person.

3:06

And we met and we closed down

3:08

the bar.

3:08

Of course he was at the restaurant for eight hours,

3:11

and it was kind of like we like we were just

3:13

catching up, Like we knew some

3:15

of the same people, we did some of the same things, we were

3:17

different in some ways, and so we just connected and

3:19

it was just perfect.

3:21

Yeah.

3:21

Literally, like

3:23

we have the same jacket on, and I walked

3:25

in like for real, Oh my god, it's kind

3:28

of it's meant to be, and it's so weird.

3:29

I walked in. I was like, so, you're wearing my jacket and she's

3:31

like, oh, now, nay.

3:33

How is it for you being in front of

3:35

the camera and talking, Like, you

3:37

know, people know you for your choreography, you're dancing

3:39

and everything, but it's different to be

3:42

revealing things about yourself.

3:44

Sometimes it's not easy.

3:45

So it's very easy for me to

3:48

talk. I think it's

3:50

a little bit difficult for people to receive

3:52

it because they've never heard me speak. But

3:54

I'm such an open book, like I'm always

3:56

talking, always, always, always, But I

3:59

don't know.

4:00

In front of them mic like yeah,

4:03

on camera, camera doing

4:05

some type of choreography.

4:06

So when I watch her, so to me.

4:08

Because watching a lot of

4:10

the people on stage, of course, I wasn't paying

4:13

attention to Denney, I'm like, okay, and then now

4:15

my eyes, I'm always looking for Dennay like she's on tour.

4:17

I'm like, this is my girl, and so now to

4:20

me is the opposite.

4:20

I'm used to her being an open book, and for the world is like

4:22

they get to see the other side of her.

4:24

So it's pretty interesting.

4:25

Yeah, now to hear you, I did know this on the podcast.

4:28

You said you would going through a breakup. Oh lord,

4:30

that was that was?

4:31

I remember? Okay, continue, it's

4:34

youre fas true a false true true.

4:36

I mean it was it was about we've been

4:38

filming, so it was it was a

4:40

couple months ago, almost a year or so.

4:43

Oh really okay, yeah, but I was. But it was the aftermath

4:45

of the breakup. Nobody ever tells you or speaks

4:48

about the person who does the breaking up how

4:50

much you hurt too, when you don't really

4:53

want to break up but you have to. So

4:55

I did the breaking up, and it wasn't

4:57

like when somebody breaks up with you.

4:58

Of course, you go through.

4:59

The breakup and you deal with the pain or whatever,

5:01

but when you're the one who who walks in

5:03

and says, yo, this is done, you still kind of deal

5:05

with people don't have cynathy for that person, but

5:08

nobody but but nobody ever talks

5:10

about it. Nobody ever talks about go through that

5:12

whole grief process. Absolutely, and

5:14

and it's hard sometimes because it's like, I know

5:16

you're not the one for.

5:17

Me, but God, like, I just

5:20

care about you.

5:20

Yeah, I care, and I'm and it's sad that I'm kind

5:23

of hurting you, not really because I have to look out for me.

5:25

So I think, for the first time ever, instead

5:27

of dragging something out, I realized that that person

5:29

wasn't for me, that chose me, but

5:31

I was hurting.

5:32

It's like, right, I.

5:33

Always break up first. If I feel like they break

5:35

it up, I'm gonna do it first. This might yeah,

5:38

toxic, but that's that's toxicity. But to

5:41

me, like I've always done the breaking up. But

5:43

younger to hear he was different at this big

5:45

age.

5:45

For some reason, this relationship that to me probably

5:48

didn't even wasn't even.

5:49

Supposed to be one taught me the most

5:51

had it. So when you say it wasn't supposed to be, when.

5:53

Haw i't look at them and say yeah,

5:56

I'll be with you, I was like, boy, bye,

5:58

boy, please, you ain't

6:00

tall enough of this ride.

6:03

I love that how

6:05

it.

6:05

Happen there, oh, you know, friendship, And I'm

6:07

being persistent in a world where everybody

6:09

so has a d D and everybody wants

6:12

right now and everybody's moving around in circles.

6:14

He was really let's

6:17

just say, he was intentional

6:19

when it came to me, and he had been around me before,

6:21

he knew me, so he knew exactly you know what I

6:23

mean. He was he was intentional when it came

6:25

to like just getting at me, and I.

6:30

I felt for that.

6:31

You know, I think I want to sit down,

6:33

like, let me just let me see if it's let me sit down.

6:35

I've always felt like a lot of times relationships,

6:37

a big part of it is timing, like

6:40

it was you could have the right person, but it's

6:42

not the right time, or you could have the wrong person,

6:44

but it's the right time and it still

6:46

could happen because you're like, I'm in.

6:48

The frame of mind where I'm kind of ready to like

6:51

you said.

6:51

And that yeah, and sometimes it ain't even your favorite

6:53

color and you're like, you know what, maybe I'm color blind, but

6:55

I'll take it. Let's see if this this is a little

6:57

different than what I usually go for let's see

6:59

if this works.

7:00

I always like that with my husband. Oh

7:02

oh, because

7:04

you have no I've known you. Y'all don't know, but I've

7:06

known my husband since I was nine.

7:08

Oh wow.

7:09

It was one of the counselors, like the

7:11

s y P workers at my summer camp,

7:14

and I knew he was going to be my man when

7:16

you were nine. When I was nine. I looked at

7:18

him. I was we're going to be.

7:20

Fast forward the story because we want to make.

7:22

We're five years at part, five years

7:24

apart. But you know, like when you're

7:27

a kid and you have a crush and always said

7:29

that's going to be my man in the future,

7:31

you think yes,

7:34

So fast forward all these years later,

7:36

like twenty one, we

7:38

linked back up and I'm like, no, I

7:40

don't. I still don't think you're you're the

7:42

right person, but it's literally the wrong time.

7:45

Fast forward to twenty nine. I run into

7:47

him again. I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm ready.

7:49

For you

7:52

see that because nine just sounds like a baby

7:54

and right counselor. And you're fantasizing

7:57

like that's gonna but it's gonna be crazy that you knew

7:59

that I manifestation.

8:01

I loved him so much. I gave my

8:03

little brother his name. That's

8:05

my brother's middle name. It is now my

8:08

last name.

8:08

That area I will know.

8:11

Wow, you get like premonitions

8:13

about things frequently.

8:14

Yes, So how long were you guys

8:16

together before you got married?

8:21

The first wedding happened? What

8:24

was that?

8:25

I love her?

8:25

Five years in? No,

8:28

I'm lyon four years in the second

8:30

one five years in. We had our son. One

8:32

year in, maybe a couple months in.

8:34

So why was your two weddings?

8:37

The first one we were supposed to be elopen, but

8:39

then all my friends crashed, so we ended up having

8:41

like twenty five people at the first one.

8:43

Okay, so they had a.

8:46

Destination one.

8:47

Yeah, this is

8:49

a great story.

8:50

I love this story.

8:52

Right being married, because I think

8:54

you're the only one here who's married.

8:57

She said, what

8:59

is the challenges you would say about being married?

9:02

Well, for me, it's, you know, finding

9:04

the balance between traveling and working

9:06

so much and showing up and

9:09

being the best wife I can. I tell everybody,

9:11

like, every time I go to work, that's

9:13

my vacation. I come home, I clock the

9:15

fucking sorry I clocked in because

9:18

you gotta cook, you gotta clean.

9:20

We have a baby.

9:20

We have to find alone time. We have to

9:22

find time to be friends. He worked

9:25

at when we were like right

9:27

before we got married, he was in law school, so

9:29

we have to find a balance with his schedule.

9:31

Like just oh, so he was in law school, so

9:33

you were kind of supporting.

9:35

No, he was still supporting.

9:39

I told you about people who I know, like not like

9:42

so focused on trying to pass the bar that they

9:44

don't.

9:44

Have a job, but just the

9:46

balance that's really like the most in

9:48

the communication, like making sure you're constantly

9:51

checking in because road so much on,

9:54

Like I'm gone all the time.

9:56

Right, Look, that's tough, that's

9:58

a lot. But it must be nice to come.

10:00

It's so and they come to me too.

10:02

Okay, So we get to travel, we get

10:04

to see things. We have

10:07

great time together most of

10:09

the time.

10:10

Do you ever feel guilty, Like I know when Jasmine

10:12

brand is here, she she has a kid,

10:15

and sometimes she feels so guilty when she's

10:17

traveling, right, and like she's

10:19

like, you know, because my I feel

10:21

like guys are used to we're used to that in

10:23

society, Like men travel, they

10:25

do the thing with the kids.

10:28

Yeah, many kids. I don't remember. I don't know me.

10:31

I'm really big to be like, all right, these kids

10:33

needs to be they need to be fed. Yeah, we're

10:35

gonna be broken homeless, so we're gonna get fed and you're

10:37

gonna be mad?

10:38

Which one? Pick one?

10:39

Yeah, I had a little for a little bit.

10:41

But now that my son is able

10:44

to communicate his feelings, we

10:46

have great conversations and FaceTime. My

10:49

god heras me up, he

10:51

watches me, rehears I've been good

10:53

job. Guys doing great. We

10:56

all sit and tells us stories about his day.

10:59

The mommy, I've passed it, but I

11:01

did have a moment.

11:03

Like and I feel like that's natural.

11:05

Yeah, can if you can imagine now

11:07

now that you're single to hear are you

11:10

single?

11:11

No?

11:11

I haven't. Yeah,

11:13

since that break up because it taught me so much. I

11:15

was single and celibate. He

11:18

long, oh my god, forever

11:20

almost eleven months. So

11:23

we broke up and let's say, I

11:25

don't even remember child.

11:27

Oh.

11:27

January first, twenty twenty three is when I broke

11:29

up with him.

11:30

The ball dropped and I was like, I'm out of here.

11:32

Talk about talk about a resolution for

11:34

the year, because I knew that I wasn't going to enter my

11:37

New Year with the

11:39

ball dropped together and I woke up that

11:41

morning and I was trying to be nice,

11:43

although as the ball was dropping, he was beefing

11:46

with me about me being on my phone because I was trying to get the New Year's

11:48

kiss on it, and he was like.

11:49

Why are you on your phone? I'm like, what do you mean? Kiss

11:51

me? Like what do we talk? What are we arguing

11:53

about it?

11:54

And I was just like, somebody get him off the club, like

11:56

you know, one of those. So it got crazy as

11:58

the ball was dropping it we partied,

12:01

we argued a little bit. I ignored him a whole

12:03

lot, got got home together, woke

12:05

up that morning. Was trying to nurture

12:08

him,

12:11

just kind of like because I know I could be a tough cookie. And he

12:13

had been through a lot too. He had lost his mom, his

12:15

dad throughout the last four years and best friends, so

12:17

he was dealing a lot of grief as it was. So I was

12:19

just trying. But then at some point, when does it stop?

12:21

When do I stop becoming? When do you stop just

12:24

lashing not on me for all the paint you

12:26

have. So that morning I

12:28

got up it was January first, and I hugged

12:30

him, and he gave me issues, and I hugged him again.

12:32

He had more issues and I was like, you know what, he said,

12:34

Well, we're not going to just know, what we're not going to do is

12:36

be together this year.

12:37

And I packed him up last time your boss

12:39

dropped. Wow, so was that was

12:42

done?

12:42

So after that I went, I, I you know,

12:45

I didn't jump into anything.

12:47

I didn't jump into anything. I jumped into work. I

12:49

jumped It just takes some time, like to

12:52

after a relationship, not all the time.

12:54

So the

12:56

celibacy was I'm at this big age.

12:58

I'm really not.

13:00

I don't really just want to share time space in bed

13:02

with anyone.

13:03

I don't.

13:04

It's not key key and party and bullshit

13:06

like I'm really it's everything is intentional.

13:09

I needed to get my mind together because usually when

13:11

a woman goes through a breakup, she's very

13:14

vulnerable, vulnerable, and you

13:17

think you're running around doing the right thing

13:19

to numb that pain. But then you wake up on it and

13:21

you a little bit better and you realize that you just caught

13:23

a couple l's back there. And

13:25

I think women when people say heal, heal,

13:27

women are like, yeah, yeah, whatever, and then you just find ways

13:30

to like numb that pain, whether it's alcohol, clubbing,

13:33

dating other people, jumping into bed with them,

13:35

whatever it is to take your mind away from that. But

13:37

that day that you wake up and that you're

13:39

like you surpassed that somewhat, you

13:41

realize all the dumb stuff

13:43

you've done right, and it just makes your life a

13:45

lot. But it's more trauma, it's more more. It's going

13:48

to be a larger therapist bill

13:50

if you ain't got no medicaid, you know what I mean. So

13:53

for me, I decided to make to stop

13:55

finally say you know what, I'm

13:57

gonna cut it out. I'm a I'm an fill my cup because

14:00

I've been doing all the filling.

14:03

Cup empty and he drained

14:05

that cup.

14:05

So I started filling out my cup.

14:07

I had moved into a new place. I was fixing

14:10

my home rather.

14:10

Than to a new place. Is so important,

14:13

and it was.

14:13

Unintentional, by the way, but it just so happened

14:16

during the breakup. Timing was perfect,

14:18

and so I usually that

14:20

moving in turns into let me pay the mover,

14:22

let me pay the clean lady, let me play the organizer,

14:25

let me let them organize me, let me go get this

14:27

bag this time around, I shut all

14:29

that down, and I wanted to be with self right right,

14:31

and I wanted to I also wasn't a

14:33

perfect person in that relationship, so I wanted

14:35

to know what took me down that route,

14:38

why him?

14:39

What I did wrong in that really?

14:41

Like, I wanted to really self assess so

14:43

I wouldn't make those same mistakes.

14:45

So I dove in, So what did you feel like you

14:47

did wrong? A

14:49

lot?

14:50

I feel like I didn't know how to lead with love.

14:53

I'm like a dictator. I'm

14:56

so used to being I'm

14:58

so used to.

14:58

Being the provider that I

15:01

just don't I lead.

15:03

And I said, and maybe you don't trust somebody

15:05

to lead, and I don't know how to just drop everything

15:07

in your hands and trust you to do.

15:10

That is a truest thing, though, because I think

15:12

that women who are powerful, who

15:14

are so used to doing things for themselves,

15:16

it's like the highest form of

15:19

knowing that you care about somebody when you let them

15:22

handle.

15:23

I didn't let him lead.

15:24

So I think that speaking

15:27

life into a man is important as well. I

15:29

think that automatic. I think I saw him.

15:31

As I didn't see him as an equal to begin

15:33

with, and I treated him that way, and

15:35

that wasn't fair to him, you know what I mean.

15:37

I didn't allow him the space to show me what he

15:39

can do.

15:39

Okay, so he caved in, But he caved in because

15:41

I was already walking in with that like that that

15:44

vibe, you know what I mean.

15:44

There was a lot of things I could have did different.

15:46

I'm not saying that he would have worked out to begin with, right,

15:48

because a man's a man's a man, and a man can also be like

15:51

start and be like you gonna

15:53

calm the fuck down, you know who I am.

15:56

But I will say that I learned so much and that

15:58

person that I was in a relationship by no longer

16:00

ever want to be Okay, But.

16:02

There's a reason for everything that we go through

16:04

things, right, Yes, and whatever what

16:07

they say doesn't kill us makes this stronger.

16:09

Right.

16:09

And I learn how to deal with thrief two.

16:11

That's another thing, because nobody could teach you that

16:13

how to deal with other people's pain.

16:15

Yes, so I thought I was doing it. I

16:17

mean, I did the best that I could. But now I look at

16:19

certain things and I know that I could have been better at

16:21

some things. So of course I'm

16:23

just saying I could have did better in certain

16:25

avenues in that relationship.

16:27

Did y'all have that conversation? Are you just?

16:29

I did apologize after I okay,

16:31

somewhere in between that year, I

16:34

try to like.

16:35

Circle busting you with.

16:39

And I was like, you know what, maybe maybe not, And

16:42

I did my apologizing. But

16:44

it's safe to say when somebody's going through a lot of

16:46

pain.

16:47

You have to sometimes journeys. Some journeys are to

16:49

be walked along. Yeah, sometimes it's really hard

16:51

to be in that in.

16:52

That situation, especially with grieving, Yeah,

16:55

because they could just destroy you.

16:57

And that was that's that's what was happening. There was

16:59

no time type of inspo at home. There was nothing

17:01

happening period and then you're just screaming

17:04

and losing it for every other second and I'm just over

17:06

here trying to pick up the pieces.

17:07

But they didn't even know how to because I can't relate.

17:10

So if you say I feel your pain, no you don't, Okay,

17:12

so what do I like?

17:13

It was just it was.

17:15

So it was just a lot that happened in

17:18

the year that I decided to just throw in the towel.

17:21

You know what, I realized, how, what are some ways you

17:23

know a relationship is over. What are some indications

17:25

no sex or

17:28

period or the passion isn't there

17:30

that you're used to having made

17:32

facts?

17:32

Yeah, yeah, that no sex is really

17:35

no cooking.

17:36

I'm not cooking.

17:37

You ain't never been in a relationship with me.

17:41

Because you don't cook.

17:42

No, I cook if I'm in love, but it's

17:44

not a requirement, like I'm gonna cook three times afought.

17:46

We don't never expect me to cook seven days. I'm great at

17:48

ordering.

17:49

Me too, and

17:51

I'm great at plating it and it looks

17:54

good. But I could cook.

17:55

And when you start, I want to see other niggas

17:58

for me. Like it's like, if I fuck

18:00

with you, I'll fuck with you, but I know I don't want to fuck with

18:02

you.

18:02

If I'm trying.

18:03

To do, I'll

18:07

be just messing with you and don't see nobody

18:09

else. Be like, but then once you see me, I'm

18:11

like, oh, I don't even like them that much.

18:14

That happens.

18:15

But the no sex thing, I'm so glad you said that,

18:17

because that is I feel like one of the first

18:19

indications is when that kind of stopped

18:22

for sure, and not saying that everything.

18:25

Yeah, I mean, I think I can't think

18:27

of.

18:27

A person who hasn't been through that, you

18:30

know, because especially when a guy is not really

18:32

trying to have sex.

18:33

With you either.

18:34

Well, this is my first time going through the no sex

18:36

thing. So

18:39

in this situation, the no sex thing,

18:42

well I can't say

18:44

too much because I ain't even made the announcement at

18:46

home, but the

18:49

no sex thing, when

18:51

niggas, they'll still be wanting the fuck. You

18:53

know what I'm saying for me, Yeah, they don't care about that. They

18:56

don't be like the arguments

18:58

from when they He's just sad,

19:00

I don't want to fuck you definitely

19:02

don't want me.

19:03

Why wouldn't he offended?

19:06

I just went through that like I was trying

19:08

to break my celibacy to somebody. I

19:10

was like, you chosen come

19:12

here somebody that you know I have history

19:15

with, and he's great. So I'm like, if I'm

19:17

going to break it, yeah, am I ready?

19:19

And I prayed to the Jesus before apocalypse? What

19:21

is it? What's happening not

19:26

to zombies like this? So I'm like,

19:28

all right, God, it's coming. The

19:31

clips is coming.

19:31

So, and he was going through

19:33

his changes and he had just had some ship going

19:35

on at home and we sit for dinner. He says,

19:38

Yo, let's go have dinner. In my head, I was like, dinner

19:40

right, dinner.

19:43

I was talking deserved. I was

19:45

like on the phone, I was like, you want to talk talk

19:49

about I want to talk.

19:50

In so right, because

19:52

mentally, if I thought about it too much, I wouldn't break

19:54

the celibacy because I've been going I'm on a street

19:57

like I'm going straight a year. He

20:00

invites me to a restaurant.

20:02

We sit down and he's talking about how he's working now, he's

20:04

not drinking, and how he's not dating anybody,

20:06

how he's not having sex in order.

20:08

I was like, screw, I went off?

20:10

Did that? You were like, well, I gotta go.

20:12

I don't think so well.

20:13

I was like what he was like, but

20:15

he was going through what I think he was

20:17

in the beginning of what I had just went through the

20:20

cleanse. Okay, you know

20:22

at the time, all the timing was off, but I

20:24

never got to know from him and

20:26

I really but I never really picked up the phone

20:28

and was like, and then I realized, way I was just always available

20:31

for him, and it's one time that

20:33

I'm chying that I needed to be choked up and thrown up

20:35

against the wall and not call the cops on the

20:38

ex. Oh no, so

20:41

the cell CEB, the celibacy lives

20:43

on, It lives on.

20:45

You're gonna hit that year mark? No, no, no, no,

20:47

no. I think I'm gonna figure this out. We

20:50

can't do that.

20:50

Well one, my one, My moan thing bad

20:53

because it's been eleven months.

20:54

You see it, right, it's cool that

20:56

phone would have been playing answer

21:00

to that. Should we see what he wants?

21:04

Don't say nothing crazy, We at work, We're

21:07

working.

21:10

Oh.

21:17

I was just reading that. Hey, main O, Hi,

21:20

I just saw in Atlanta. He told you,

21:22

Yeah, how are you? Hello? What

21:25

up? Pull

21:27

up? Go be scandalous.

21:34

All right, we're going to talk.

21:36

About that right now in honor review, in

21:38

honor of Maino. All right, thanks

21:40

Mana. We needed that, all right.

21:44

He really called to tell me how disappointed he was.

21:46

I was just reading that.

21:47

Song about relationships coming to a pause,

21:50

right.

21:51

You know, the relationships with your homegirls,

21:53

your besties. Sometimes

21:55

that could be more heartbreaking than any man when

21:57

you break up.

21:58

Yes, I've been through that. Yeah, so I think that nobody talks

22:00

about friendship break ups.

22:01

So I don't know what it

22:03

is the older I get, the more I'm feeling and

22:05

connected, and the more I would hate to lose people.

22:08

And then I realize I have a betterment issues Like so

22:11

many losses. You want to keep the people that you love

22:13

around you.

22:14

But sometimes you have to, Like I think

22:16

that we could be loyal to a fault

22:19

where you're loyal to the wrong person. And

22:21

it's like, just because I've known you for

22:24

X amount of years does not mean that

22:26

I owe you anything or that

22:28

you actually if you keep on doing things that are

22:30

destructed to like our friendship and thinking

22:32

that it's cool, it's just like being in a relationship,

22:35

like you can't just treat me any way and do anything

22:38

and think I must still be here for you.

22:39

And sometimes the people that help you when you're going

22:41

through something are not the people who've been in your circle for a

22:43

minute.

22:44

It's always it might be that person that you just

22:46

met and it's.

22:47

Weird and you're like, yo, but I've been around you for so

22:49

long a year.

22:50

I don't agree with the no new friends things that people

22:52

be right because new friends are

22:54

so important, Like some of my friends that I've

22:56

had for not as long as like my oldest friends

22:59

are way more like I'm getting face supported

23:01

Jesus, I'm not going to answer it. Everybody's

23:04

getting faced like, guys, we're working. Why

23:07

do people FaceTime with no notice?

23:08

I love it?

23:09

That's me.

23:10

I'm a face time.

23:11

I would say, I only care about the notice when

23:13

you FaceTime if I don't really like you, and that's to a

23:15

man.

23:16

But if I like you, like you, I'm picking.

23:17

Up I need a

23:19

little.

23:21

Yeah.

23:21

I only complain when I'm like, why isn't it

23:24

you won't I never just pick up the phone and FaceTime

23:26

anybody. I tell y'all

23:28

all do that. I really don't FaceTime

23:31

people. I barely call anyone.

23:34

Text it is the best thing ever I'll be calling.

23:38

I'm like, because things is so misconstrued. Yeah,

23:40

sometimes like you feel like yelling at.

23:42

You you have the l O L. But a happy face

23:44

will.

23:44

Be like, I'm not beefa

23:49

so sure I am.

23:50

People like what you're trying

23:52

to say? You be like, oh, nothing,

23:54

How long have you been married?

23:56

We have been married three years.

23:58

Now.

23:58

Have you gone through periods which your husband of

24:00

no sex? No?

24:03

She said, man, we haven't

24:06

hit that mark yet. Year eight?

24:08

Oh wow, okay, Yeah.

24:10

Unless I'm like away and then we be

24:12

so creative.

24:13

Well, I guess every time you come home it's kind

24:15

of like a little honeymoon on a low or just like recapping

24:18

and things get serious because you're like going, so

24:20

it just keeps a spark going. Right now,

24:22

if they had the monotony of every day to day

24:24

relationship, that probably would they probably would

24:26

have hit that mark like I'm tired of you.

24:28

I don't know.

24:30

We're so excited like we

24:32

we have for the most part. And he just

24:34

started drinking.

24:36

Just started drinking.

24:38

Yeah, he just.

24:39

Started doing a lot of things. So everything

24:44

money, it was just sober,

24:46

sadly, he has a

24:49

newborn.

24:50

What is he drinking?

24:52

Okay, bear with me. He's

24:54

drinking like sweet red wine.

25:01

Think about think about it, Angela. I know you've done the deal before.

25:04

Yeah, and you stopped drinking for a couple of.

25:07

Right, and this is gonna hit you different because you please

25:10

imagine somebody who never drank drink

25:12

some sweet wine and he's tipsy.

25:14

I got him on that and we just got him

25:16

to do some margarita.

25:18

Ok.

25:18

Yeah, you know, come

25:21

out.

25:22

You might get putting it one more time.

25:26

One morning, Againe, because you date

25:28

somebody who doesn't drink.

25:30

Yeah, but I just started drinking

25:32

remember myself, years ago.

25:34

And I put it down. You gotta relax, and

25:38

yeah, I love you. She

25:41

just start drinking years ago in her straight

25:44

liquor on the rocks. Chaser,

25:46

I like that. Who

25:49

know?

25:49

Yeah, no Chaser, no ice,

25:52

none of it. Anybody who know me. No,

25:54

I've never drank.

25:55

Some people still be like you laying and

25:57

I can't drinking. Nineteen is

26:00

too strange. Straight out,

26:04

I drank a whole bottle.

26:06

Okay, I stopped doing that

26:09

after the last time you drank a bottle.

26:10

No, I said I was gonna stop.

26:14

I ain't gonna lie.

26:15

I probably drank every day this

26:17

month. It's fun and I.

26:20

Feel like I feel like we have to have like yay

26:23

after that to

26:25

that.

26:26

Okay, So yeah, before this, because Mano

26:29

just called and he was like, he's very upset about

26:31

this Young Miami and JT

26:33

Beef. But I feel like people were kind of

26:35

seeing that was were speculating.

26:38

They were speculating, but we didn't know it

26:40

was going to explode like this. But to be clear, both of

26:42

them going through a lot.

26:43

Yeah you know, wait wait, wait,

26:45

wait stop, it's okay. The

26:48

couch I'm with it,

26:50

I'm with the ships. I love y'all. Y'all can put me

26:52

anywhere. Tell

26:55

me what JT is going through because I know what

26:57

I know what.

26:57

Young Miami is going through.

26:59

And I've seen how they break up must have happened,

27:01

because it was a lot happening.

27:03

But they did end it and said I love you, I love you

27:05

more. So it was kind of like, why does it

27:07

have.

27:07

To be online? Though?

27:08

Like if I be with the nay, I don't want it to be online.

27:11

And that's what I was going to ask you guys,

27:13

because me and Gigi have been doing this podcast

27:16

since the beginning.

27:16

How long has it been. It'll be ten years in September

27:19

Jesus.

27:20

Yeah, ten years. And we

27:22

I don't think we've never had an argument. Yeah, we've never had

27:24

an argument. We never got it. And honestly,

27:26

there was only one time it wasn't an argument, but there

27:29

was only one time she had to like low key scold

27:31

me like, Okay, we're not gonna talk about that, like you

27:33

did something that you should not have talked about and we're not gonna

27:35

talk about in what I was like, okay, done, I'll mention it again.

27:38

And in ten years.

27:39

So that's what communication is the key, Yes,

27:43

understanding communicated.

27:45

I don't understand right communication and I

27:48

understanding.

27:49

So I want to talk about that because you guys are starting

27:51

something new together and people could

27:53

be really close, but that like when you start

27:55

working together. Because we've seen some podcasts

27:57

for yeah, fall the part going through

27:59

it. So when you think about that, like,

28:01

are there some guidelines that you're gonna have, because

28:04

I also feel like I would hate for

28:06

the way that I am if I fall out with somebody, I'm

28:08

not gonna like publicly. I don't want to do that

28:10

talk about them or talk shit or

28:12

reveal any of their secrets to the public

28:15

or things like that, or lie about anything

28:17

like. That's my own rule for myself. And even if

28:19

you come at me, I just don't really respond.

28:22

I don't really respond because I think that makes

28:25

things a lot bigger than it has to

28:27

be. Others watch and

28:29

I know it's really interesting for people when you

28:31

do that, but I also like for my own

28:33

piece, you know, because the worst

28:35

thing is when you do something and then the

28:37

internet blows up with it and your notifications

28:40

are going crazy and you're like, I shouldn't even say shit.

28:42

Because now everybody's like, because

28:44

you're never going.

28:45

To win everybody,

28:47

that's the best advice. Everybody has

28:50

all the answers.

28:51

So when you think about that, because this is still

28:53

fairly new, right, how many episodes in are you guys.

28:55

Now like tomorrow will be number

28:57

four?

28:57

Right or yeah we've been Yeah,

29:01

you.

29:01

Know, so do you have you come up with like some

29:03

plans because this is kind of like a marriage too,

29:06

working together just to make sure that, like

29:09

we got to communicate if something is

29:11

misunderstood and misconstrued.

29:13

We have we have a really good support

29:15

team. We also

29:17

have been watching what's been happening around

29:20

us and before us.

29:22

We also really really like each other.

29:25

We're not saying that we haven't even had disagreements.

29:28

Disagreements are fine.

29:29

But we've had like we've had we've

29:32

had a spat and then

29:34

we regrouped and we apologized

29:37

and we moved on.

29:38

What was this bad about? Uh? Just

29:40

I think it was it was what I don't even

29:42

know.

29:42

I think the I think our both of our energies

29:45

were high. It was like the launch day and we

29:47

were nervous, super It was all nerves.

29:49

It really was about nothing right, It

29:51

was nerves and just energy.

29:54

We both got loud, and then Greg

29:56

grabbed Anna and then they had a conversation

29:59

and then I'm like, we're the nay. And then I

30:01

was like, you want a shot and then she was like yeah, and we

30:03

took a shot and we walked in.

30:05

You know, it was literally it was literally

30:07

the energy.

30:08

Yeah, it was literally the energy of he's

30:10

about to walk into like a soul, the beginning

30:13

of your life. And we were both

30:15

nervous, okay, but

30:17

we do have a strong support team. So

30:19

even after that, we regrouped, we talked about it,

30:22

and we just assigned hats that, like

30:25

you know what I mean, would keep us from even having

30:27

that traction because we are both.

30:29

To sit on it, like in other

30:31

words, let g do what.

30:33

She does and me and then they do what we do,

30:35

and if we have any issues, we come

30:37

in as a family and we have the buffer

30:39

in between, so nothing to get misconstrued.

30:42

Yeah, and to communicate with each other absolutely,

30:45

because I also feel like as important as it

30:47

is like to work together, it's also important to know that

30:49

when you don't get along, you need to figure

30:51

out about how do you work

30:53

through it?

30:54

Right? And then you know, we're also getting to know each

30:56

other.

30:57

So I might walk in with my own stuff

31:00

from outside and not wanted to affect

31:02

do my job and come in, but my energy is a little different

31:04

than it was last Monday, and I was hype. So

31:07

like I remember looking at her one time saying,

31:09

hey, I'm going through this this, this has got nothing

31:11

to do with you anybody here. I'm just going through

31:14

assist. So it's important for me to communicate,

31:16

like you don't know me, and you might think

31:18

this is about you. That might not help to

31:20

say nothing, but look, I'm being

31:22

transparent right, this, this, this, this,

31:24

this, let's get this shit going, and

31:27

I just want to be better. And then she opened up about

31:29

something and then we were like, let's have drinks, and it was kind of like,

31:31

you know, we're getting to know each other in a different space.

31:33

We're communicating. That's good. See.

31:35

I like that because really me and

31:37

g have gotten along like from the you

31:40

know, we met through her even before the

31:42

service, yeah, even before I live service. Me

31:44

and Teller also

31:47

mm hm and tell I understand

31:49

she'd be like Angela, if you don't pick up your God damn

31:52

right was wrong because I'm the worst,

31:54

Like I'd be busy doing stuff.

31:56

Sometimes I'm not a good friend. Me too.

31:58

Yeah, I'm gonna be honest.

32:01

Me too, and sometimes that, and then

32:03

I would text some stuff that sound crazy,

32:05

like we need to do better, like I did today in the group chat,

32:07

and I was like, I'm not beefing with y'all, but I wish I could

32:09

say some things.

32:10

But I'm driving.

32:10

I'm trying to get an angela, and so I'm

32:12

not a I'm a very much straight

32:15

to the point that i'd be like, guys, I'm sorry, I'm pretty

32:17

in pink, give me a second. I didn't have time to communicate

32:19

that.

32:20

Yeah, but I don't look at it like that.

32:21

I look at it it's like, you just

32:24

be busy, you know, sometimes you be needing

32:26

yourself time to cake and ship like that. So

32:28

don't take that, ok you know, like's

32:32

that's from where where you get cake from?

32:34

I'm use it now.

32:35

Really, it's okay.

32:36

You finna be cake. You're gonna manifested.

32:39

So I don't take it like that. I'd be like, I just be time.

32:42

Yeah, that's all crazy, that's

32:45

all great. I'm gonna get my cake cake with

32:49

all these cakes.

32:52

I saw on money of episodes you were

32:54

talking about like being with your husband, but also

32:56

knowing that, like you had a wild twenties.

32:58

Oh my god. He

33:01

while I mean like I had a schedule.

33:04

He was on part of the schedule. That's when I knew

33:06

I couldn't be with him. I'm like, it's not the right time.

33:08

He was like my Wednesday Thursday guy,

33:11

Like I had a Monday, Tuesday was Thursday, Friday,

33:13

Saturday. I wasn't even sleeping with everybody, but I

33:15

was just kicking it here,

33:18

lunch there, let's go to the park, let's

33:20

walk, let's go color like

33:23

just color yeah, between

33:25

them line, I had a

33:28

wild as I lived

33:30

a great, a great life. I think I'm so

33:32

cool being where I am now because joys

33:36

my twenties.

33:37

Is there anybody in the world like

33:40

Monday was competing?

33:41

Well, everybody was competing because

33:44

everybody really wanted me real bad.

33:50

He wanted me real bad.

33:51

But isn't the weekend the best slot?

33:53

According to.

33:57

It's not the best slot because all

34:00

today south on the weekend.

34:01

But that's better. But don't you want to be free with whoever

34:03

you wind up with.

34:04

I want to be I want to be in control. I

34:06

want to seven day man is the person

34:09

who wins.

34:10

That's the lord and the lords.

34:15

And now when you're honest with him, like you know, I'm talking

34:17

to other guy.

34:18

Yeah, everybody, that's good.

34:20

I don't know that because

34:22

I was born, I mean I was born and raised and

34:25

in a family who was like, if you lose

34:27

your virginity, he's your husband. Don't lose it.

34:29

Don't have any kids. We don't fit in here. If you

34:31

have section gonna you're gonna get cancer.

34:33

The more you my mom used to be like, the more you rub

34:35

on that, the more you're gonna die.

34:40

And she had three girls in the house. She was a single mom.

34:42

She's like, y'all not coming over here with kids. So

34:45

I so the dating thing, I was like, is that some white

34:47

people ship? That's what I really thought, because

34:49

you always see it in movies, like they're dating. And

34:52

I used to be like, if I if I get into anything,

34:54

you can't even use my bathroom because my mom don't

34:56

want you in the house unless I tell my mom this is it.

34:59

She only want to that this is.

35:00

It guy, Okay, And you

35:02

know, I

35:05

wish she would have told me that.

35:06

And my mom knew everybody, everybody

35:10

was covering for you. My mom is cool. You want

35:12

to play, you want to play.

35:14

I'm playing with nobody. That's so funny

35:16

because your mom may have no loyalty to none of them.

35:19

Like my loyalty is to you.

35:21

Mom.

35:21

You're gonna be ruled to everybody, like he can't

35:24

lose my bathroom.

35:24

I don't see.

35:26

But you know what, it's so funny because I think about

35:28

guys you didd and their moms knew that they were

35:30

cheating on you, and

35:32

it.

35:32

Was smiling, be like his smile.

35:36

You thought you really mattered right

35:39

and nice to

35:42

her, and you know all his friends. That's

35:44

the worst. And a man cheats on.

35:45

You and

35:46

them and everybody knows,

35:49

and everybody know the chick and she also around

35:51

and they covered for him.

35:53

And no family get

35:55

beat up, Harry.

36:00

He just got a cheat just in case. Now, that's my

36:02

sister says that.

36:03

My middle sister says, Lexi says,

36:06

Lexi says, listen to a sister

36:08

says, she's like, yo, you need to you need to find you

36:10

somebody every six months because when the honeymoon

36:12

stage is over and you want to play with

36:14

the gold play and I'm like what She's like, let's just

36:16

we're gonna all cheat.

36:18

Oh my, I how to put yourself first.

36:20

That's not just worry about all these rules

36:22

and ship if you ain't married.

36:25

See, I feel like I can't do

36:28

ship and I wouldn't do s. I don't even think about

36:30

it, like I really be in terms of what

36:32

caken, Well, you're.

36:33

Good right now. I

36:36

mean I have my man. I don't do nothing. You

36:39

shouldn't. I don't be doing nothing either though,

36:41

even when I'm single, Like.

36:42

I don't even got the energy to do it, Like I really

36:44

want the real thing, I

36:46

really look mm hmm.

36:47

I mean everybody do.

36:49

But until then,

36:52

with what we're doing outside.

36:56

You ain't doing ship, are you. I'm outside

36:58

okay right and like I'm

37:01

minding my business.

37:04

I want to be outside with like purpose.

37:06

It's like partying with a purpose like.

37:09

Nonprofits profit

37:12

profit yeah, outside on

37:15

getting back inside yeah yeah, yeah,

37:17

like intentional, like I don't really

37:19

I don't really care, Like.

37:21

I don't care about a lot of things anymore.

37:23

Do you think you have sex differently as you get older?

37:27

Yep, then they

37:29

tell us, since you said it so fast,

37:31

I think.

37:31

So in tune

37:33

with what you want, what you need, what you like,

37:37

you're open to trying more things,

37:39

like you know what you are, you know your body,

37:42

what you want, you know

37:44

how to do stuff. Now you're not like just

37:46

licking the tip like you're going, I.

37:49

Go for my bad.

37:52

You know, but you're doing it like, Yeah, it's

37:54

more passionate, even if you're not really

37:56

married or whatever, like

37:58

you want them to want real bad.

38:00

I haven't had it chill out before a quarter

38:02

next get in trouble

38:04

tonight.

38:05

So definitely, I think it's better get

38:08

better.

38:09

Now, Like what are the things that you do to

38:12

turn it up and make it make it spicy?

38:14

I feel like they're so new into their well y'all

38:17

have been together eight years.

38:18

You told me, you told me you

38:20

want me to tell them to keep it to

38:22

ourselves.

38:23

What I told you were wearing the same jackets. Now

38:25

you can tell.

38:26

It's gonna be wearing different wigs and stuff

38:28

because you know what I mean, playing like you role play.

38:31

He was like he wanted a blonde.

38:34

I became a blonde whoever

38:36

you need me to be?

38:37

She told me. I was like, oh, I think I want a husband.

38:39

And.

38:42

Yeah, we was.

38:42

We was at the hook allowed just me, you and divine

38:44

and you was like, yeah, you know, because I mean, you know, we be

38:47

role playing and then y'all got the stories

38:49

and I was like, pop please popcorn.

38:51

She hung up.

38:53

Yeah, role playing? So what is he does he

38:55

role play?

38:57

No, he just be there watching the show.

38:59

You be into it, he be into

39:01

ITV.

39:05

I got the love of woman who could do choreography,

39:08

who could be like, yeah, gig

39:10

you know, because then you

39:13

can do like your your whole thing or your

39:15

whole little sexy feeling.

39:17

I'll be making videos and I'll be editing them.

39:19

I'd be sending it like a pre pre show

39:24

tailor.

39:25

Yes, come on, is real? You know, show

39:30

you something I could do misirl video?

39:33

Yeah, telor you got some videos? Do

39:36

you know? Tell her doing

39:40

nineteen forty two?

39:41

When that when you have no videos, you

39:44

better set that trip up and get

39:47

No, I don't do that because that might make it like

39:49

I'm kind of stick when people are watching.

39:50

That's why I couldn't have a strip. Did you just do

39:52

that ro Yeah exactly, were

39:55

taking like everybody watching. So we

39:57

have a tripod.

39:58

We got this kind of like flow with in the bathroom

40:00

and put the camera phone by like the sink and

40:02

ship like like.

40:04

What I got. This clamp thing you clamp on my

40:07

videos sounds like somebody.

40:10

Else clamp

40:13

it. And then you just click it right there and just put

40:15

the.

40:15

Phone they got now they got the little suction.

40:19

You got.

40:20

Yeah it's not that suction, but that's such a you

40:22

put up in the mirror.

40:23

And yeah, I

40:25

don't know nothing about it.

40:28

I don't not making videos. I just put my angle

40:32

it up.

40:34

To hear you are the videos that you that guys

40:36

have like for sure? I mean I've been, I've been.

40:38

I started off at King magazine, right,

40:42

it was the last cover ever, I believe it was

40:44

me and we had a double cover

40:46

from I've done everything from King,

40:49

Black Men and any urban

40:51

magazine that you could think of in print

40:55

that my mom didn't understand.

40:56

She be like, why are people stopping me?

40:57

And I was on every train station and a

41:00

little optimals where you could buy magazines.

41:02

You got social media, and then you

41:04

got only fans.

41:05

So of course of course you see my cheeks

41:08

in places that you know what I mean? No, but

41:10

I said videos like the yeah, like

41:12

like you and know no face no

41:14

case, okay, okay, I think there's

41:17

only one in the faces.

41:19

Yeah, that's right. I think there's only one

41:21

individual my whole life that.

41:23

Could ever be like, if anything

41:25

ever leaks I know from you,

41:27

I would know exactly, no face, no case.

41:29

Okay, so there's stuff, it's just not your

41:32

face in it. Uh, there's definitely stuff

41:34

that you send the man. You'd be like and you'll be

41:36

like you said, it's some chance, but

41:38

you ain't.

41:38

I'm not.

41:39

I'm not busting it wide open for no real

41:41

ninja. But this is one person

41:43

that I don't know why I feel so free and maybe he just brought

41:46

that out of me and and you know, and in

41:48

our situation ship

41:51

that he might have got some incriminating

41:54

evidence and it better be in the safe.

41:58

That's why you just got.

41:59

To do it on your phone, right, Well,

42:01

you don't have any but sometimes

42:03

especially when you're when you're dating somebody, you're

42:06

dating somebody and y'all long

42:08

distance, Like how do y'all entertain each other?

42:11

It's not like he can come downstairs and be like, yo, I'm

42:13

outside, let's go to movies. It's like I have to travel

42:15

too, So sometimes you gotta keep them entertained on a Monday

42:17

through Wednesday, but till

42:20

Friday.

42:23

Now, how important is it when you're dating

42:25

somebody to tell them, like about your past

42:27

and people you've

42:29

been with, things you've done, especially when you're

42:32

Google.

42:32

Look at your face. You don't even know

42:34

how to your Facebee saying everything?

42:37

Why she makes.

42:41

I don't know how important is it?

42:43

Tell everything I've done a book? Okay,

42:46

that's also it's

42:48

like a gift and a curse, Like I really tell

42:50

everything.

42:50

Does it ever get brought back up?

42:52

Yes?

42:54

Then they want to talk about it. They want to dig deep. It's not that

42:57

deep.

42:57

That's why it's not that you don't.

43:00

Even like he just want to know what might affect the

43:02

other than that. Yeah, because I feel like

43:04

guys don't want to know. No,

43:06

I've had meant to be down and say

43:08

so like weird stuff, like so tell

43:11

me what you did with him, and you're like, oh, you're more details.

43:13

See if I was with a guy and he did

43:15

that, I would feel weird. It's weird. I

43:17

don't think he's for me. He's weird.

43:19

If he was like asking me, like grilling me about

43:22

something. You know what I'm saying, it's

43:24

one thing and they're like, as you use yeah,

43:27

you know that's it. But like grilling you like. I

43:30

think that's a lot. It's weird because I wouldn't

43:32

do that.

43:33

It depends on a gay too, Like

43:35

for me, it depends on like, say,

43:38

contest the number one. I'm gonna tell

43:40

you whatever I think I want you to know. It

43:43

might not even be real. I'll

43:45

tell you some shit and you just be like, oh the

43:47

whole time, I'm just making some shit up. If

43:49

it's later, I don't because

43:51

this is what I do.

43:55

Not doing it for a minute, so you know.

43:58

But and it ain't that often. It ain't like

44:00

every week I'm just making up. But I don't think

44:02

you should just go in just telling every single

44:04

thing.

44:04

You know what I'm saying, right, Yeah,

44:06

I feel like because also I think about

44:09

if things don't work out now that now you everything,

44:12

yeah, and that can be weaponized

44:15

against you.

44:16

That I feel the same way.

44:18

I feel like it depends on what place that

44:21

person holds in your life. It

44:23

depends on how you feel about the person too. And

44:27

I think when you allow a man to speak, he'll

44:29

tell you so much about himself and how he feels about.

44:32

Women in general.

44:33

So I've been on dates where he starts just

44:35

dragging people.

44:36

I'm like, I can't be honest with right.

44:39

Yeah, I'm also in my mid forties, so like, I've

44:41

been through some stuff, right, But

44:43

I've also been in relationships where I want him. I

44:45

want to be naked and not like I am to the world. I

44:47

want to be like fully, like vulnerable in front

44:49

of this person. I also want to protect

44:51

them because we're in a space where if you

44:53

walk in somewhere you see someone, I want him

44:56

to have the heads up and know that I dated, not because

44:58

he cares, but just so he could know that, yeah, you talk

45:00

to such and such so nobody has something.

45:02

Yeah.

45:02

So so that comes with that

45:04

person being your person. Other than that,

45:07

I'm really big on how long

45:09

are you going to be around and why should you be another person

45:11

with my because anybody could say anything

45:13

about me. Once I out of my mouth,

45:15

the horse's mouth, say something, then that makes

45:17

it official. And I don't need you to have AMMO

45:20

to shoot.

45:21

Me, try to use against me.

45:22

Right, So I so if I care about you, my job

45:24

is to protect you.

45:26

Other than that, then it is what it

45:28

is. Yeah, Because also think guys could be insecure.

45:32

And if they know, like, oh you talk to this person

45:34

or this person did that it could make them.

45:36

Feel really like, yeah,

45:38

it.

45:39

Could be unnecessarily like giving

45:42

somebody some things where they're

45:44

like thinking about it intimidated. Yeah,

45:47

but that's their problem. I learned a long time ago

45:49

by telling something. And it was the same way you said, like,

45:51

I wouldn't want I would want you to know for me,

45:53

I would want and want somebody else to tell you, or you'd

45:55

be blindsided by finding out, you

45:58

know, from a different source that I had some with

46:00

this person.

46:00

But no,

46:01

it depends

46:03

on a person. It was Angela

46:07

exactly what I'm talking about it. But yes, I heard about

46:09

that for years.

46:10

But here's the thing though, But then that goes to show

46:12

you like I can sleep at night good because I'm

46:14

trying to be real with you and if you can and if

46:16

you can't handle it, and I'm not the person for.

46:18

You, yeah, yeah,

46:21

listen now listen I loven hip

46:23

hop. It's been streaming again.

46:25

Yes, I saw, Yes, I didn't.

46:27

I didn't realize until I was getting text messages and

46:29

I walked into so Far and my

46:31

person there was like like.

46:33

I love you, and I was like, yeah, I come see you all.

46:35

He was like no, You're so

46:38

good, and I was like, what's

46:40

happening and she was like your story

46:42

and I was like, oh snap. And

46:45

then my mom sent me a text message like your

46:47

face is on Netflix and I was like, great,

46:49

we.

46:49

Don't get paid for it. That's another thing

46:52

too.

46:52

Imagine that right now, this is like

46:54

syndication on streaming services.

46:56

You got paid for it back then.

46:58

Contractually we signed that contract, So I'm

47:00

not at this point I think cry over

47:02

spilled milk. I could just look at it in a

47:04

positive light, which is what I'm trying to do now at the big

47:06

age, I look at everything and find a silver lining.

47:09

Am I happy that I signed the contract

47:11

and that I feel like we've been exploited

47:13

and then we did so much on TV and that we

47:15

didn't really we signed the contract. So it is

47:17

what it is. It was a platform.

47:20

I've reached a lot of benefits from it. Now

47:22

it's on Netflix, so I have to look at it as rebirth.

47:24

You know, I just launched a podcast at the same time it was

47:26

on Netflix, so it's like, why work against

47:29

it when I could work with it?

47:30

Yeah, and there's streaming services weren't around

47:32

back then.

47:32

At all, and the kids now and I'm talking about the

47:34

young kids, not the kids that be on my dms because they

47:36

watched me with their mamas.

47:38

I'm talking about the young kids right now.

47:40

I could watch and like they get to see

47:42

a chance, like they get to see why. Like kids

47:44

be like my mom loves you, but don't understand.

47:46

Why, but not thinking why do you

47:48

watch Stash show now?

47:49

Like I haven't. But

47:51

I'm not saying I'm not. I just haven't

47:53

been.

47:54

I haven't watched it. I did

47:56

see that there were only there was a season.

47:57

The season is on.

47:58

I'm not on there yet, but

48:00

my picture promoted for some reason, myself

48:03

and Joey's I didn't see. I saw like season,

48:05

like the first couple of seasons and we come on

48:08

a three or four or something like that.

48:09

Either way, would I watch, Yes, I probably

48:12

would.

48:12

One day that I'm having drinks and I want to watch myself

48:14

cry and cry with myself.

48:16

Is weird because I can feel that pain.

48:17

They had some moment.

48:21

I don't lave proposal. That's like

48:23

a forever you know.

48:25

The funny thing about the proposal is that when they say

48:27

top things that happened on Reality TV, I

48:29

would think that we would make the top ten, and we don't

48:31

and people.

48:32

Might have forgot about it. It was one

48:34

of the biggest things ever.

48:35

I mean it was wild back then, but I was like,

48:38

I get ready. Yeah,

48:40

it was like kind of in the early early like

48:42

reality TV. I don't know, because you guys,

48:45

like even with streaming and everything, what

48:47

was that streaming service that you were on first

48:50

before?

48:51

Was it? Ut? We were on U stream

48:53

that you too? Yeah, before everybody

48:55

it was.

48:56

And I used to do U stream for my show all the

48:58

time, and it

49:00

was.

49:01

U stream was almost twenty years ago.

49:03

It was Soldier and then Joe it was

49:06

us yeah you yeah, it was a few of us on

49:08

there.

49:08

Using that ship. Boy.

49:09

People was getting mad because I you seen people with even

49:12

comments while things were happening. I

49:14

remember I was doing an interview and somebody walked out

49:16

of the interview because people were talking crazy about him

49:18

on the U stream and I didn't know what happened.

49:20

Like I was interviewing him, I had the U stream up.

49:22

All of a sudden, he was reading.

49:24

He just got up and left, and I was like, wow,

49:26

I mean, I wonder how that person's doing now with all

49:28

that's happening in front of our faces, because I feel like

49:30

we get bullied regardless, like anytime

49:32

you put something up you recomments, you might want

49:34

to die.

49:35

You know what, how was that for you now, Tony?

49:37

Because I know that from coming from behind

49:39

the scenes almost to now to.

49:42

People like you are you're at your

49:44

I do I read all the comments?

49:46

Don't do it. I don't tell you right now, don't don't.

49:48

They've been great?

49:48

Don't you think you are so kind? Oh yeah,

49:52

right now, so nice for now until they disagree

49:54

with it.

49:54

Until they disagree and I haven't gotten.

49:56

They're like all this, they were sous. I

49:58

used to read all of us. I don't. I'm not reading.

50:00

Yeah, yeah, you don't read. I used

50:02

to write.

50:03

You said that I read them to.

50:04

I tell you not to. I don't. I'll

50:07

be trying.

50:07

I don't read a few the other day and I was like, let's get into

50:09

it, and then I called you like girl group and he was

50:11

like, you're always like, let's do a live.

50:13

But then I remember, doesn't really

50:15

matter. I read it.

50:17

I read comments, and I

50:20

mean, I don't be giving fuck. Sometimes I might

50:22

like how y'all was saying, don't go back and forth. I

50:25

probably will go back and forth, maybe like one

50:28

out of twenty okay, depending on

50:30

what will say it.

50:31

Yeah, you know, but.

50:33

And sometimes I think you also have to respond to the

50:35

positive comments.

50:36

Sure, just

50:39

the.

50:39

Bad ones, but it's actually

50:41

really nice when you show love to people who are showing

50:44

because like, read those through and somebody, one

50:46

person said, you'd be like what, I.

50:49

Had a fantom like period, disregard

50:51

them, like talk to us, we you And I was

50:53

like, yeah, you're right, you're right, but we get caught

50:55

up, especially when you wake up on the other side of the bed and you

50:57

read some ship that you're.

50:58

Like, did you just call me your what? Now?

51:01

Listen now reality TV? You also did

51:04

was it couples therapy?

51:05

Yes? I did.

51:06

Okay, So now looking back on that

51:08

and looking at it from this space in today, what

51:10

do you think Because there was a lot of people

51:12

on both sides, right.

51:15

I want to say that I think it was very miss

51:19

It was very misinterpret

51:21

And also the edits are like amazing

51:24

because what was happening behind the scenes, you

51:26

guys, like the world gets to see about

51:29

seconds of what happened, but we're taping

51:31

from seven am to twelve am,

51:34

and it's going to have no phones, and yes,

51:37

and then I

51:39

don't know that that situation was crazy

51:41

because every time I spoke up,

51:43

I was speaking up or defending myself because there was

51:45

stuff happening behind the scenes, so

51:48

I.

51:48

Would just saying it was.

51:49

The reason why I think the podcast was so important

51:51

is because there was a space for people to get to know me,

51:54

me me, not what other people get

51:56

to edit edited version. Another thing is that

51:59

Bado and I went into that show as a

52:01

friendship, like a friendship who he was trying

52:04

to take this relationship to another level because he was interested

52:06

and I wasn't sure if he kind of was ready for a

52:08

woman like me.

52:08

And that's how we walked in on that show,

52:11

and everybody.

52:11

Thought, because it's called a couple's therapy, everybody in here

52:13

as a couple.

52:14

We weren't a couple.

52:15

We were trying to figure out could if we'd be a couple

52:17

because at this point, after all these years, are you

52:19

on my back and I'm just your friend, Let's see if

52:21

we could take it there, you know what I mean. So there was

52:23

a lot of you know what I mean, a lot of things that really

52:26

weren't how people took it.

52:28

But it's for everybody's interpretation.

52:30

I guess what did you learn from that?

52:32

Because you know, the whole point of the show is it is supposed

52:34

to help you, oh a lot in your life

52:37

in general.

52:38

So do you think that it was helpful for you?

52:40

Yes, because it's an actual program

52:42

that they run with actual

52:45

real judge and a real therapist.

52:49

It's a real thing. It's a program for real.

52:52

I learned a lot about me as a whole. It

52:57

was so long ago, but it was really it

52:59

was. It was I went through all the emotions.

53:01

I locked in.

53:02

I didn't speak to anybody on the outside,

53:06

So yeah, it was it was everything about

53:08

my traumas, about my domestic violent situation.

53:11

I was taken back by why he would react a certain

53:14

way, although I did throw the apples, so I'm not you

53:16

know, I'm not fond of that moment.

53:19

Uh.

53:20

So I did learn that I had some

53:22

things to deal with that if I don't address my traumas,

53:24

my traumas will address me, right, And they were addressing

53:27

me in front of the world, right, that's you know what

53:29

I mean. So it

53:31

is tough, but I've chosen to do so. Yeah,

53:35

and so I learned so much by.

53:37

Sometimes I don't know how hard it's going to be till you do it.

53:39

Yeah.

53:39

I watched my pain on National

53:42

TV that had not much to do with

53:44

everybody else but just me, So it

53:47

was I mean, I can't wait to find another boyfriend

53:49

to go in that house again.

53:51

Different, I'm different. Now we're going

53:53

I'm not throwing apples.

53:55

But yeah, didn't they Could

53:57

you see yourself doing something like that?

53:59

Yeah, because my husband's

54:01

in therapy. I'm in therapy. We

54:03

tried relationship counts

54:06

therapy or whatever a couple of years ago.

54:08

But yeah, what made you guys decide

54:10

to do that?

54:11

Because we were having like disagreements,

54:13

like having we had a little moment where it

54:15

was like we just were not getting along. Like he

54:17

has this cat, so sick of

54:19

the cat, Like the cat is our

54:21

biggest, biggest problem, and

54:24

I'm like, we can get.

54:25

A new cat.

54:27

The cat is a cat he shared with his

54:29

ex.

54:33

I can't. That's how.

54:36

I didn't ask to be with the cat. I won't

54:38

be with you. And if we all have to live in this house and the cat,

54:40

you can contribute to the rent.

54:42

With the cat. Why did you say the cat can't come?

54:44

I did, And at the time he was co parenting

54:47

the cat. So that's also why we have such

54:50

a huge issue and like we need to go

54:52

get a third opinion on like, let's

54:54

as he

54:57

has the cat full time. Now, that was the compromise.

54:59

You can't call parent the cat anymore. You have

55:02

to keep the cat.

55:02

So the cat doesn't like you.

55:04

The cat doesn't like me. The cat is jealous

55:06

of my son. So that was our biggest

55:08

issue.

55:09

Your cats are a little bit.

55:11

Because baby

55:15

like, because they're warm,

55:17

so we'll come in. Sometimes he's cuddled up with

55:20

my.

55:20

Son and we're not doing that.

55:21

He's wiping feet from under the couch. I'm

55:23

like, bro, this cat gotta go. So

55:25

we went to therapy for about the cat to help

55:28

us. So I opened

55:30

to all situations

55:33

DK kkt

55:37

Okay that's.

55:39

DK.

55:43

So yeah, okay, that's so interesting.

55:46

Whatever the therapist

55:48

thinks he should get rid of the cat. Really, yes,

55:50

did you pay him on another table?

55:52

No?

55:52

In this lady, I did not like this therapist.

55:54

I don't like nobody.

55:55

He chose the therapist him choose.

55:58

Okay, except where we going, who's

56:00

doing it, who's leading the conversation?

56:02

Now, like you said, you let him choose?

56:04

No, Now you know what the next question is do

56:06

y'all ever venture to add

56:08

people to your relationship.

56:09

He's not into that, but you would be, okay,

56:13

Yeah, I

56:15

would be, and I've asked, I've offered.

56:17

He's like, no, you're all I need baby

56:21

that sweetie.

56:22

Okay, sweets.

56:25

I don't quite often hear that side.

56:30

He's not into it. You don't like the fact

56:32

that I'm attracted to women.

56:34

You don't.

56:34

He's like, no, I don't need none of that. I don't want to explore that

56:36

with you. It's just me and you to

56:39

the will's fall off, and you're okay with that. I'm

56:41

all right, cool because I don't really need nobody either. We

56:43

have a blast. I make sure we

56:45

have a blast to Harry.

56:46

Are you open to that? Huh?

56:50

I am not saying no.

56:51

I am gonna say he's getta

56:53

hot, it's getting hotter here. No,

56:56

Nelly, I'm gonna say

56:58

that. I'm never gonna say no, because because certain

57:00

people bring out.

57:01

Some parts, some different things about you. Like I've

57:03

been with a person I'm like, oh my god, what

57:05

are you doing. I'm not ready for this?

57:07

And I've been with somebody with I'm like over here like a cougar.

57:09

With these cows. So I'm not gonna

57:11

say that, right,

57:14

I'm not going to say that I never, I

57:16

will never be bring

57:19

someone in. I just feel

57:21

like whoever I am doing that

57:23

with, we will have to be incredibly bonded

57:25

together and like this is about us, which

57:28

is pretty hard because I've heard horrible stories when it comes

57:30

to, you know, couples going into

57:32

that opening Pandora's box and then they start

57:34

cheating on each other and they wind up with the person that

57:36

they met, and so.

57:38

I've heard that.

57:38

So I don't really play around like that. But if

57:40

I was to ever, I'm not going to say never. If even

57:43

if it's not my husband, if I really

57:46

f like, fuck with somebody and we tight

57:48

like that and we out on the island, we all

57:50

dressed in white, I might just consider some

57:52

things we're dressed.

57:58

And weex. It goes

58:00

and we're just in white and Angelina

58:02

Jolie looking.

58:03

At us books by and I'm like, why

58:05

maybe I might. I don't know, and

58:08

you gotta pick. That's the whole thing. But I

58:11

would like to have his input, like because

58:13

I'm not into women, okay, but I could be.

58:15

I guess. Yeah. Twenty twenty

58:17

four yeah, Mom, don't

58:19

believe us. Okay, it is who

58:21

you guys are kind of opposites. Yeah, but

58:24

it works. Yeah, but it works. I

58:26

love it. Yeah.

58:27

Well listen, I appreciate y'all both so much

58:29

for coming do. I cannot believe at this big age

58:31

this is your first time.

58:33

I know, you know this is horrible.

58:35

I feel like we have to do better as friends. Definitely, Yeah,

58:37

we do that.

58:38

You know, we were just saying this, like I don't really be outside

58:41

like that, and clearly neither do you.

58:43

Not. No more you be in Jersey, though.

58:45

I feel like I don't even be outside outside

58:47

unless I'm getting paid to be outside.

58:49

Yeah, it's like the same thing. We don't

58:51

really Yes, New York night life make the same

58:53

as it.

58:54

You even think there is? There isn't. It doesn't

58:56

cop You know what.

58:57

We like lounges and likes

59:00

and jazz, and I like comedy

59:02

clubs.

59:03

Now, yeah, well you have always been into.

59:07

We love a good comedy club, all right, so we can do

59:09

fun things like that. I like to be home, like around

59:12

midnight, me too. You know that's a good

59:14

time for me.

59:15

Now.

59:16

You know what I was trying to figure out, is it that

59:19

the clubs aren't anymore?

59:20

Or is it that I'm not lit New

59:22

York specifically? Is the clubs right?

59:25

Because I'm like, we used to have so many places

59:27

to go to and I don't know

59:29

if this is still going on, and I just don't know

59:32

there are some clubs going on. This happen,

59:35

Yeah, there's just but it's not the same. Is it

59:37

not like it was? Or am I not like I was?

59:39

I don't know because I could say it's not like it was,

59:41

and it's not you because back then we used to have

59:43

certain places where not everybody can get in.

59:45

That's true, where you like the Who's

59:47

Who. We had the Greenhouse. We had

59:49

a certain places Greenhouse days. So

59:52

I don't know if it's just that.

59:53

We're not it.

59:54

But I just saw a photographer the other day. He was

59:56

like, remember me from Greenhouse. I

59:58

was like, oh my god, that's.

1:00:00

We ended up in one or

1:00:02

we have there's so many other places

1:00:05

club Hollywood back in the day, like there were so

1:00:07

many places.

1:00:08

Now they might be so re sponsored.

1:00:09

We don't know about, right, but I'd

1:00:11

have been out in New York and I'm just looking around.

1:00:13

Like they don't have listen anymore. Everybody

1:00:15

could go everywhere that New York.

1:00:17

Let us know in the comments and let us if

1:00:21

we're not we want to be. I

1:00:23

want to be lit tell I'm gonna take you out.

1:00:25

I have the option.

1:00:26

Let's go see Chicago still lie.

1:00:29

I went the last day

1:00:31

that I was in the breakfast club. I

1:00:34

left after work and went to Chicago and ended

1:00:36

up being out till like five in the morning.

1:00:38

We had a turn Tella.

1:00:40

You left a little early because you had to go

1:00:42

do something. I ended up Oh yeah,

1:00:45

Oh, we left the same time and.

1:00:47

I had to fight, had a fight.

1:00:49

I A I fell asleep.

1:00:51

He had my location on because other than that,

1:00:53

I won't even woke up.

1:00:54

That's now.

1:00:56

I was so drunk that night. I was celebrating

1:00:58

for I went to Chicago and celebrate.

1:01:00

You're go out because I'm

1:01:14

coming.

1:01:15

I'm not

1:01:18

looking badge,

1:01:21

you heard me, Dominican page, hold his badge

1:01:23

till I get

1:01:25

like.

1:01:25

This all

1:01:28

right outside. I love to see it all

1:01:31

right.

1:01:31

Well anyway, well, thank y'all so much for coming through,

1:01:33

And make sure you guys tune into at this

1:01:36

big AGEI has some really fun

1:01:38

conversations. Y'll have different points

1:01:40

of view, but you expressed it both so well, So sometimes

1:01:42

I agree with her, but I kind of agree with her. But

1:01:44

there's certain things I'm like when it comes to infidelity

1:01:47

and other topics that you guys have that

1:01:50

I think will be really relatable for people, But coming

1:01:52

from two different points of view and two different life

1:01:54

experiences, I think it'll be really enjoyable.

1:01:57

Yeah, thank you for hanging us.

1:02:00

Oh my god, just look at you hutting

1:02:02

your jacket off.

1:02:04

It's lift service. Thank you. M