0:02

Welcome back to

0:04

the final episode of

0:06

alchemy This. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock.

0:09

Yes that Kevin Pollock? What's that? Yes?

0:12

This is the final roundup of

0:14

Alchemyist that features all the founding

0:16

members and you can't believe it or

0:19

stop us, but I digress. Let's meet.

0:22

Well, let's say hello to our alchemist,

0:24

shall we? In no particular order, Let's quickly

0:26

check in with Craig Atkowski. Cocow, how

0:28

are you doing today? Bitter

0:31

sweet? I

0:34

am bitter sweet. Actually,

0:41

I think I'm pretty sweet. General,

0:43

I'm not I'm not very bitter about

0:45

anything. Okay,

0:48

I've never seen sour occasionally,

0:51

but I'm rarely, rarely bitter.

0:54

Um. I think you guys have to have thick

0:56

skin in this biz. Bitter

1:00

this, but occasionally

1:02

and rarely bitter. That's not only a great

1:05

forecast, but a good name for your book. And

1:07

sometimes salty sometimes, I'll

1:10

be I right, you some salty

1:12

language today, so I

1:14

like it are accordingly. Oh

1:17

my, there's Vanessa raglan Venete.

1:20

Hi, my, oh my, how are

1:22

you? And what the hell? Oh?

1:24

What the hell? Indeed? I am

1:28

mommy,

1:33

yeah, yeah, yeah,

1:35

good state. It's

1:38

a great place to be and I love the mouth feel

1:40

of my life mouth

1:45

life at another great book title. I'm

1:48

so uh sweet to be with

1:50

these faces at this time. It is so I'm

1:53

having very weird um yeah,

1:56

deja vu of like, oh, this

1:58

is the rhythm and these are the thing. This isn't it feels

2:00

really? I'm yeah, I'm a happy

2:03

person to be with these people. Yea.

2:05

Was it two eighteen

2:08

or nineteen that we started James

2:11

Well, two thousand eight teens when I believe it

2:14

started releasing, but we

2:16

started well, it was two thousand and eight teen when we started recording

2:18

too, but that we started recording in like February

2:20

two thousand. Yeah, I feel like March October was

2:22

the Yeah, two

2:25

eighteen. Oh my god, it seems like a world

2:27

ago. Hey,

2:30

there's Chris Alvarado, Mike

2:32

Pal Chris thoughts

2:35

going into today, given our three plus

2:37

year run coming to a logical

2:40

end, same same, same,

2:42

same, same, bitter sweet.

2:44

I was pouring my coffee this morning and

2:47

I was I was thinking, like, huh, this is

2:49

a this is a bummer, but it's like it's a

2:51

good bummer. Yeah. We we want,

2:54

we want this, and there's plenty opportunity

2:56

for us to perform together in other capacities

2:58

or as alchemy this we ever want to do a

3:01

festival somewhere and that type of stuff. That

3:03

makes me happy. But you know,

3:06

we do have a standing standing

3:08

invitation to Sketch Fest as

3:10

a as a group, so we could

3:12

technically do that San Francisco Scotch Fest.

3:15

Thank you. Um, just fucking

3:17

just like just like Vanessa said, happy, happy

3:20

to be here with this, with this group of just fucking

3:22

murderers and

3:24

lovers. Oh

3:27

now look out there's James Z and sweet James,

3:29

how are you feeling. I

3:31

am like the longest

3:34

box of hash brows you could fit in. I

3:39

mean you probably have to crack that in half

3:42

and put it on two different shelves in the freezer because

3:44

it's long and they're frozen so

3:47

they're hard to vs

3:49

threw up. For Joey, I

3:52

just get such a like an intestinal

3:55

feeling from those words. That's

3:57

how they sell it at Costo. Yeah, feel

4:01

like contest packaging. Thank

4:05

you James. And uh last, but

4:07

I promise you he will stop

4:10

drinking his own power jars if you think him least.

4:12

It's Joey Greer chim chump tell

4:14

us in four thousand words or less. What

4:17

all you've seen? What

4:19

all you've seen since last time you were

4:22

with us? Yeah? What all you've seen since

4:24

last time you were with us? Well you've seen? Yeah,

4:27

well you've seen. First

4:31

off, I don't like coming in with a constraint. No one else

4:33

had that kind of qualifier. Four thousand words

4:35

or less. Number two. All

4:38

right, if I'm gonna be able to say something, I

4:40

should be able to use all the words I know, and as many

4:42

of them as I need be. Okay,

4:44

that's a fact. Now everyone's talking

4:46

about how they're feeling. Let me tell how I'm feeling.

4:49

I feel like shit. I'm

4:51

sick, all right, I'm sick as hell. This is

4:53

the last episode. Alright, I'm

4:56

disgusted. I got body

4:58

aches, I got chills, a fever,

5:00

I gotta running, a sore throat, I

5:04

can't. I haven't pooped in like two days.

5:06

What what else? It's coming

5:09

out the top, there's nothing coming out

5:11

at the bottom. Nothing. It's all steam. All

5:13

my urine's coming out of my hand like steam,

5:15

steaming,

5:18

steve steering. I don't know how to pronounce it, but it's a medical

5:20

term, and it's just like just releasing

5:22

from the top. So that's that's how I'm a feeling.

5:24

That's where I meant mentally, physically,

5:27

spiritually, I am transcendent.

5:29

I do think I am part of the three

5:32

Angels. I am a Harold too

5:37

to God's thrown and uh, I

5:39

will see you all in times. Okay,

5:42

that's good. That

5:45

means you believe in us, right, Yeah,

5:47

of course that's

5:50

very cool. There will be there will be a

5:52

baptism of fire. Well

5:55

hold up, Uh, I'll

5:58

take this opportunity for all the scene

6:01

suggestions over these last many years

6:03

from all of our listener emails

6:05

and our patron v I P S. We thank

6:07

you all. James has sent a lovely

6:09

note to all the Patron subscribers

6:11

letting them know how much we appreciate their love.

6:14

Um. He did a great job with that letter, So

6:16

thank you James and his own his

6:18

own upcoming project, which I thought was really cool. James,

6:20

Yeah, I thought, yeah, you want to, you

6:23

want to. I don't know if it was a plug as much

6:25

as it was. He offered everyone

6:27

to just move their subscription.

6:31

Yeah, never stop hustling,

6:33

never stop girl,

6:41

But thank you all. You were ultimately

6:44

the reason we kept gathering

6:46

to do this as much as we love to see each

6:48

other, we were driven by the

6:50

notion that someone was out there listening. So

6:52

I didn't. I thought you meant James, and I was like,

6:58

we had to keep James

7:02

by the way. As soon as I started to talk about

7:04

possibly giving into the notion

7:06

that this was coming to an end, everyone

7:09

asks James, gonna be okay,

7:15

there's nothing to stuff that anyway. You are loved

7:17

the most. It is clear. It is crystal clear,

7:20

and that is my point. But aside

7:22

from James, yes, thank you all listeners, and thank

7:24

you for telling everyone you've ever known, and all the great

7:26

reviews that James love to read someone

7:28

and so forth. A big thank you to

7:31

you. Our last three scenes

7:33

were selected by me.

7:35

They were, uh, I'm gonna say

7:37

randomly. I was trying to get precious

7:40

with it, and I thought, thankfully,

7:42

there are too many to choose from,

7:44

so there's no reason to be precious.

7:47

Let's just move forward, shall

7:49

we. This first one comes from patron

7:51

v I p Andy Montoya, who

7:54

wrote scene suggestions see

7:56

no preamble, no life story, just

7:58

scene suggestions. Now

8:01

I'm gonna start criticizing.

8:05

I think that's a compliment when

8:08

clear and to the points the thing. Yeah

8:12

mm hmm. Scene suggestion

8:15

a writer attempts to write a romance novel.

8:17

Thanks and take care, Andy

8:19

Montoya, order

8:21

up. And

8:24

this is the old point man like because it's like not even

8:26

like at the beginning of It's like when you think

8:28

of the world as the world, man, it's

8:31

like it's always something that's like, it's always bigger

8:33

than it is. You know what I'm saying. Yeah,

8:35

yeah, because it's coming to it's

8:38

going across. This is pornography.

8:42

I I hear what you're saying. You're saying, my

8:44

napkin draw into pornography. Well,

8:48

can I I'm so sorry, I'm sorry to interrupt.

8:50

Um, Can I see the napkins?

8:54

See my porno? This

8:58

is for work? Okay,

9:01

ms. I know we're having lunch,

9:03

but I'm stuck and I need something

9:05

and I heard there's napkins pornography. Can give

9:08

me one second. I love you. I love you so much.

9:11

Okay, Hi, So can

9:13

I see the napkins. My name is Denise

9:15

and my partner's name is Dennis. Dennis. I'm not going

9:17

to leave you out of this, and it is funny Denise

9:20

and Dennis. Um, I

9:22

mean what you're working with. This is some

9:24

John just made up right now, took it out. Well,

9:30

I'm as literary agent.

9:32

High, I'm I'm Jerry. Uh. But

9:34

what we asked for was a romance

9:36

novel. And what he's giving me a napkins

9:39

that you tell me what they look like?

9:42

Part of me? This is my I'm also

9:44

my partner's literary agent.

9:47

And she is a famous romance

9:49

novelist. This is too

9:51

weird. This is but

9:53

babe, tell him, tell him what your nome

9:56

to plume is. Raba

10:00

Beenah,

10:03

sorry you're looking at her. This is beef,

10:08

holy ship, It's beef and

10:12

the flesh. I'm so sorry

10:14

this I would have wore a different suit. This is

10:17

not the one I would have chose for today. A collaboration

10:20

between these two artists. Dennis

10:22

Dennis never stopped working. I

10:27

like you, Tennis, I like you, Jerry.

10:30

Hi. Sorry to keep you waiting. Who had

10:32

the cod guilty?

10:35

Okay? And who had the scrod on

10:39

Dennis guilty? I don't like saying guilty.

10:42

She always makes me say guilty, like we did something wrong.

10:45

Oh well, we're about you, so I like

10:47

to confess ahead of time? And

10:50

did you want to a Ford top for the four of you,

10:52

because oh my god, yes, yes, yes, yeah,

10:55

Jerry, what if Jerry, what if you and I went over there

10:57

and talk some business and let we let the artists

11:00

do an artists do. I

11:02

like what you're putting out there, all right, So I'm gonna

11:04

go over there with my scrid. Dylan,

11:06

did you give out that scrawd yes,

11:10

well that's our last scrat. They

11:14

ordered a scrid. I was telling you to

11:16

see it. I got some big wi coming in here to

11:18

god, menu review of it. Okay, the

11:20

scrub, the scra goddamn sing

11:23

song with a menu. Well, I can't

11:25

take scrawed off the menu. If

11:27

somebody tells me that they want

11:29

scrawed, I can't say we're out of scrawed when we're

11:31

not out of Yeah. Yeah, welcome to the fish

11:33

market. I'm gotta help you. We got we got daily fish,

11:36

daily catches. What what do you need? Hurry talk to me.

11:38

What do you need? Um? Scrodrod?

11:43

Who the hell are you? Excuse me? Scrod Hey,

11:46

you want some scrite? Dude, just

11:53

want some scrite? Okay, look look,

11:55

look I know I this is select. This

11:57

is a life fish. I only give it to my to my personal

11:59

cut to any scribe.

12:03

What then, is it with scrab today? I

12:05

heard you say you have daily fishes?

12:08

Yeah, and then I was

12:10

wondering if you have any scried I'm

12:14

sorry, I'm sorry. I'm closed today.

12:17

I'm closed today. Hell is happening? What

12:19

are you gonna do with all those fish bodies? I'm

12:21

gonna take them somewhere where they're going to be used

12:23

and maybe, you know what helpful?

12:27

I think the fish bodies can be

12:29

very helpful for me. Well,

12:31

what are we gonna do with all these fish bodies in the children's

12:33

hospital? That's

12:36

not I'm I'm donating to you

12:39

guys. Okay, I don't know. I'm the I'm

12:41

the good guy. Here. Does anyone have

12:43

any gills? What? Does

12:46

anyone have any gills? Yes,

12:49

we actually do right here. What do you what do you need? Oh my god,

12:51

I think this is crazy, but I think it might work. We have

12:53

a kid whose lungs are overflowing. But I think if I

12:55

could get some gills in there, we could make

12:57

this work. Lungs

13:00

you're filling with fluid. If we get the kills there, he can breathe

13:02

the fluid. That's my idea. And

13:04

I know I don't know if it's okay. Hey,

13:06

everybody, Tommy's back from

13:09

his little hospital visit, but he's back

13:11

in class and wanted to ask

13:13

him a few words he was feeling,

13:16

and um, you know, you know what what

13:18

what he's looking forward to for the rest of the school year, Tommy

13:20

welcome. Can I ask Tommy why

13:23

he looks weird? Um,

13:25

I'm amphibious? Now, what

13:32

what does that mean? Explain? I'm

13:34

equally comfortable on land and in sea.

13:37

You have a penis and a vagina? Good

13:39

what I do? But that I do?

13:41

But that's not That's not germane

13:44

to this conversation. It has nothing

13:46

to do with being amphibious. How are you bringing

13:48

Germaine into this Germaine

13:51

sit down? Sit down?

13:54

You don't want to start something with Germaine,

13:57

Amphibian. This is bullshit, Dennis.

14:02

I just feel like, let's just swap

14:04

for a while. I've been working with my client

14:06

for so long and I feel like I could

14:09

do something special with from from

14:12

from with with

14:15

with Denise. Sorry,

14:18

I'm just so excited. I'm so excited.

14:20

I don't know if I'm terribly

14:22

sorry to interrupt. I need to rescind that Scrod

14:25

I haven't even had a bite of it yet. Good,

14:27

good, good. I

14:30

can replace it with any other fish, literally,

14:32

any any other fish, all

14:35

right, starfish. I

14:40

don't know if it's actually a fish. I think that's

14:42

more of a colloquialism

14:47

most of the scientific. Yeah, the one

14:49

with the five points that looks like a star. I'll take that,

14:51

thank you. Now. I don't pretty

14:56

well. It takes a lot of cuts. I would never

14:58

I would have never what part

15:00

of that was gutsie? Do you? I don't.

15:02

I think he's right. It might not be a fish, but I think he got

15:05

him on a technicality. Jerry,

15:07

Jerry, how are we gonna work together? So you gotta

15:09

use my prize starfish? And that's what we're

15:11

doing, my prize pet starfish. How

15:13

am I supposed to go that? I can't serve starfish?

15:17

I got you. I got your scrad Todd,

15:19

I got your scrawd Todd. Any

15:23

fish, any fish? Why don't you see

15:25

the fish that we have? I don't know what's the first

15:27

thing he came out of my mouth? Okay, but yeah,

15:29

he wants a starfish. Uh,

15:32

he wants abraised

15:35

abraise starfish. Okay,

15:39

you're not gonna serve me. Are you sorry?

15:43

So that's okay? I love you. I love

15:45

you too. Sist seriously, Dot

15:47

Jerry, what I'm saying? Where do they go? Where

15:51

do they they? Probably

15:53

one went to the bathroom and thought, as will make use

15:55

of time both one at the same time. Yeah,

16:10

I mean it would make sense.

16:12

You don't want to sit by yourself at a table that

16:15

makes sense? Oh? Here

16:17

it comes here it lightly braised

16:20

starfish with star fruit. Thank

16:22

you? Can I get to ranch on the side. Don't want to dip it

16:25

and suck on the I'm sorry.

16:28

The chef is kind of a stickler for you

16:31

know. It only comes the way it comes. No, I

16:33

just want to suck on the spokes dipped

16:35

in ranch, You know what I mean. It's

16:38

kind of like a cr to choke essential. It's not a lot

16:40

of me, but you just suck it. Chef

16:42

Todd prides himself on the way

16:44

he cooks the spokes, so it should be

16:47

enough with its own juices to whet

16:52

your chef Todd,

16:54

Let me see the spokes. Let

16:57

me see, let me see, let me see.

16:59

Oh those look delicate? Yes,

17:01

yes, slightly better,

17:04

very nice? Nice. Okay, Now

17:06

you take a back to you spoke. Let me see what

17:13

do you think it needs

17:15

more salt, doesn't he? Yes? Thank

17:18

you, thank you, thank you for and

17:20

your artistry and your honesty. Thank

17:23

you. No

17:26

your Hey,

17:28

guys, where were you jeering at? We're

17:30

just talking about our collaboration. Let

17:33

me fix you real

17:37

quick. Okay,

17:44

what I got

17:46

some ideas? I got some ideas.

17:49

It's beautiful ahead.

17:55

This is a cause for celebration. You

17:58

know what I mean. You don't have to use

18:01

the holes you were given as

18:04

a concept as a concept.

18:08

Can we get can we get a sea horse cocktail?

18:11

Please? I'll

18:14

check with the chef. Doesn't see

18:16

your horse just hanging over it? Just

18:19

what we have on the scene.

18:23

One scene

18:30

too comes from listener email

18:32

from Nicole, who wrote, Hello Alchemists.

18:35

Every time I listened to your episodes,

18:37

I tell myself, oh my god, I'd love to hear

18:39

them do x Y or Z so I can piss myself

18:42

at work again? Yes again, thanks.

18:45

Every time I finished an episode, I forget

18:48

or I'm too pleasantly toasted legally of

18:50

course, to right you guys, or I think to

18:52

myself, I'm not a patron subscriber. I have no

18:54

right to suggest something self esteem issues much

18:57

so today I said

18:59

to myself, stopping a pussy and email

19:02

them. Damn it. Anyway, I

19:05

have a list of ideas, but here

19:07

is just one. A

19:10

teenage boy is given advice from a sketchy

19:13

man in an Apple's apple Bee's Thanks

19:17

Apple Apple,

19:22

Applebee's Restaurants, Applebee's,

19:24

thanks for the embarrassing workplace story

19:26

that I will last. That will last until

19:29

I leave. Nicole from Maryland.

19:34

Okay, so that those are the specials?

19:37

Uh, do you need a minute or two? Or do

19:39

you want to order? I

19:43

mean I'm fine, just waiting for an Anthony

19:46

Uncle Ralph. Do you want to doing

19:49

order? Or I mean I can come back.

19:52

I'm pretty committed to getting something for the two

19:54

from the two for twenty on you. So if

19:56

we can't, if we can't decide

19:59

on something to go other than I don't

20:01

know if we're actually gonna get it on trade. We might

20:03

just get appetizers. I'm gonna give

20:05

you a couple of minutes and come back, Thank you, thank

20:08

you. To

20:10

drink while I'm gone. Yeah, another ultimate

20:12

margharita. Okay, okay,

20:15

tomorrow huggies Okay, hey, come

20:17

on, pull yourself together like

20:19

these are the options, just two for twenty, just any

20:22

of these. When you sent me that weird what's

20:24

app to meet you here? I agreed

20:27

reluctantly. Okay, but here I

20:29

am so sorry. I have an internet

20:31

phone on way now right, so it's

20:35

what's app or nothing? All right? We're

20:37

family, so thank you for I feel

20:39

like we've been family for a long time. To be honest, the rest

20:41

of the family thinks that you are still living

20:43

in the woods, so yeah, we don't. Don't.

20:46

Don't fucking say anything about this. I'm

20:49

in the woods and off the grid. I want

20:51

to look like, is that a gun in your belt?

20:54

I mean, yeah, I live in the woods. Like,

20:57

just because I'm out of Apple piece doesn't mean I don't

20:59

live in the woods. Okay, So

21:01

what's this about? What do you is somebody to

21:03

tell me? Uh, well,

21:06

really are

21:09

you? We got a new service. It's gonna be shott

21:11

you today. His name is Dylan, so

21:13

just like take him around the

21:16

ropes, all right. I've worked at several

21:18

restaurants, so I know the routine,

21:20

but I just don't know the specific routines. Have

21:23

you worked on Apple based before? I've

21:26

worked at a chili's, I've worked at a Ruby

21:28

Tuesdays. I've worked at a Bennigan's. You

21:31

know, I find that the shortest answer is the right answer,

21:33

which is no, you haven't worked that in Apple. Okay,

21:36

so we do think a little different. I worked

21:38

at TJ Fridays as well. Okay,

21:41

so you still have not worked on is

21:45

gonna show you around? You see what we do around

21:47

here? All right? So

21:50

this is your home, what you treated as your

21:53

home. Okay, welcome, welcome

21:55

home. Is it

21:57

Bianca or Bianca? And it

22:00

Spianca like he said it and like everyone

22:02

says that name. Um, that's

22:04

the first question though. I mean, you know

22:07

it's not. It's not. Okay,

22:10

and with me already he

22:14

sucks with people, Just so you know, welcome

22:16

home. This is your fucking annoying brother.

22:19

I'm gonna call you Bianca.

22:22

Oh go ahead, I'm gonna call you coming

22:25

upon Jesus.

22:28

I don't know what it means. So

22:32

I wanted to I wanted to ask you a

22:34

favor and also give you some life advice.

22:37

Uh, it's you want to ask you for a favor

22:39

and then you want to give me a life advice. It's

22:42

honestly, the favor you're doing

22:44

for me is the favor you're doing for yourself

22:47

In the end. It's lonely

22:50

in the woods, all right, there's

22:53

nobody to talk to, but

22:56

it's changed my life for the better.

23:00

You get your ultimate Margarita's Bhi, Guys,

23:02

I'm feeling I'm shadowing Bianca

23:05

and coming apot today. My

23:08

name is Bianca, and I'm

23:10

just gonna be keeping an eye on him. Let me know

23:12

if he does anything bad or wrong.

23:14

He's never worked at an Applebee's before I

23:17

heard you guys are having a little trouble figuring

23:19

out your two for twenty. Can I help you? Yes,

23:22

yes, please, yes, please. So the thing is, I like something

23:24

kind of spicy, but he's more of like a vegetable

23:27

guy, is there? What about the chicken sticken,

23:29

chicken, that's not that's

23:32

not even here. Sorry,

23:35

wait that sounds that's not an option. It's

23:37

so good, I mean it's it's

23:40

it's slimed in a sticky sauce.

23:43

Oh my god, and that's a kick to

23:45

it. So I think that's the kicking stick chicken

23:48

like that that's not here.

23:50

Just to reiterate what I've been saying so

23:52

you out loud, is that is not an option

23:54

here, um, and so you'll have to look

23:57

at our menu to see our option. Can

23:59

I speak to your boss? Please? Are

24:01

you talking to me? Yes? Please?

24:05

Oh, I'm not I'm not her boss. It's my first day.

24:09

Okay, who did you think he was my boss?

24:12

Well, he's wearing a full suit, a three piece suit.

24:15

I assume that's how I work.

24:17

He's dressing for the job he wants, not the idiot

24:20

he is. I am. I

24:22

am a floor manager. I've been working here for

24:25

three years. I'll just I'm

24:27

gonna bring you some free apps and

24:32

and also I know this is your second margarita,

24:35

but can I see an I d Thank

24:37

you so much. We're ever looking forwards it for those

24:39

apps. Don't be uncool, don't

24:44

Yeah, we were told this Applebee's was cool. You're

24:47

cool Applebee's. Thank you? All

24:49

right? So a favorite and advice.

24:52

I need you to come out to with me and love with

24:55

me. Out there. It's lonely. No no, no,

24:57

don't say no. Don't say no. It's lonely

24:59

up her, but with another person will be great. But

25:02

I need to first gather some things from your house.

25:04

No, no, I'm in a serious relationship.

25:07

I'm about to propose to my girlfriend. Oh

25:10

well, thank god I caught you. She's

25:12

not She's not good for you. She's

25:14

gonna try to control you. You've never met

25:16

her, Yeah, but I've met a

25:19

lot of I was engaged once. Now you probably

25:21

don't know this, but you almost had an aunt. What.

25:24

Yeah, thank god I moved on

25:26

to the woods. Wait, my mother's brother almost

25:28

had I don't even give

25:31

a shit about that, you know what I mean, because it's

25:33

just for me. It's all. It's

25:35

all about this mood smoke, you know.

25:38

Yeah, yeah, and it's just good. When the fuck

25:41

is my goddamn boyfriend, like

25:44

sixty minutes ago, a

25:46

bitch, Let borrow my truck, Let borrow

25:48

all my extra wood, borrow

25:51

all my extra nails, should everything

25:53

else. I haven't seen him at days? What's

25:59

that? Of course? I wanted to say, are

26:01

you gonna be yes? My

26:05

ass is so itch. It's

26:08

okay. It comes with you

26:11

know you you have ass play. It's gonna get itched.

26:14

Yeah. The only

26:16

thing she was good for was the gathering

26:18

that I did before I left her. We

26:21

were six months maybe

26:23

it was six weeks. We were close to getting married.

26:26

Thank god I got away and

26:29

without her, I was finally able to

26:31

quit smoking. Hi.

26:37

Hi, So have we decided

26:39

on the two for twenty? What you guys are gonna

26:41

share? Because the one thing that he said is

26:43

we don't starve here. We wanted

26:45

those free apps first, really to help us decide,

26:49

okay, foods? I thought, I love that be

26:52

right back. I

26:55

was pretty smooth you getting those free apps. That's the kind

26:57

of thing we need out in the woods. What the

26:59

hell is three apps? One

27:04

app? One apps? There's

27:07

an Yeah, I think at least two you implied at

27:09

least two apps. No, at least two. We're

27:11

doing six apps. We're

27:13

doing six hats we're gonna do.

27:17

This is crazy. I know we're full

27:19

Apple. That

27:21

is too cool. What's app? Oh?

27:24

My god? At

27:28

Benegin's we called them starters. Uh,

27:32

this isn't began. What's

27:35

app? I

27:37

have this app short a shortened

27:40

form of the word appetiser, which is

27:42

a small what like

27:45

a snake? Us,

27:51

Mr Apataw, thank you so much for meding us

27:53

here. Um, we are a huge fan

27:55

of your work, right, thanks, So,

27:58

we were thinking a comedy just

28:01

a second, let me read this text, Tolma, you

28:04

were thinking of comedy, Yeah, a comedy

28:07

um, you know, set in a place.

28:11

Let's not set it yet. What's it about? People?

28:16

Uh? Yeah, you know what I mean? Because

28:18

it's such a it's such a it's such a relatable

28:21

topic, right, yeah,

28:23

well people would relate to other people.

28:26

Sure, sure, yes, see you look at that. We were

28:28

so excited. Let me ask a different questions since

28:30

I got nowhere with what's it about? Um?

28:33

Why do you need to tell this story? Well?

28:35

My wife is, um, a romance

28:38

novelist. You might not recognize her

28:40

in person because she's a writer. Um,

28:42

but we were thinking of adapting I know

28:44

who wife?

28:50

Thank you. I was going to try Denise and that

28:52

would have been my mistake. Thank you? All

28:56

right, you want can we get two more waters? Please? Do

28:59

we get two more waters? Ms?

29:01

Barbarina? So what when? Uh?

29:04

When does this story take place? Mm

29:06

hmm, Well it

29:08

takes place in a void and

29:11

it and it avoid is filled with body

29:13

you know, you know, why don't we do this? Why don't why

29:16

don't me? And Dannis

29:18

is there? Right? Yeah? All right? Why don't

29:20

mean? You? And what were the two

29:22

creatives? Honey,

29:28

it'll be fine, it'll be fine. A

29:30

booth for two with this Applebie's so you're saying,

29:34

hi, top, what do you want? Excuse

29:36

me? Can you bring over a small bat of warm

29:39

cream? So?

29:42

What what do you do? What do you like to put on your

29:44

skin? What

29:47

do I like to put on my skin? Sure?

29:51

Hi, guys, I'm Dylan. I'm shadowing.

29:54

Uh. Some have some complimentary

29:56

asked poppers from the asp

30:00

ASP poppers. Sorry, I really gotta hit

30:02

both of those peas to make that clear.

30:06

These are asp ASP poppers.

30:10

You've had Alipino poppers. These are these

30:12

are poppers with asph

30:15

the poisonous snake. Chop

30:19

up, chop up one snake into little

30:22

bites, and we deep fry those bites,

30:25

uh in breading with cream cheese. Look,

30:27

Uncle Patrick, I don't know. This sounds like a weird idea.

30:30

Um, don't look right now, but I

30:32

think that's jut Apatow even

30:38

in the woods. You know who that is. I didn't.

30:42

I went to the woods not ten years ago,

30:44

but like five years ago, so

30:47

you would be able to recognize what he looks like. It's

30:50

shut at over there. Listen.

30:55

The device you've been given me all day has been a

30:58

little sketchy, you know. Come on, come

31:00

on, it's not it's it's from the heart.

31:02

You're telling me to leave my girlfriend. And

31:05

do you live with you? You

31:08

have your own noution the woods. You don't have to

31:10

share a place to me. I built my place.

31:12

Yours might be started small to start, but like,

31:15

give us some time, a couple of years, you'll have

31:17

a Bianca's

31:19

looking at you. Oh yeah,

31:25

I'm sorry, I

31:27

got all over me by

31:31

guys. Thanks for your patients. I have your complimentary

31:33

appter here for you.

31:37

Oh dude, that's nice, but that's

31:40

only one we were told apps. Okay,

31:45

they didn't know if you're gonna be nice or

31:47

just literalist jerks, but will

31:49

be no biondo Where

31:51

do you do you live in the in the area?

31:55

Why? I

31:58

mean I don't. I don't live far from you

32:01

from here. We've noticed you've been

32:03

checking me out, and

32:06

you don't have to worry about it. You

32:10

got worry about I've been checking you out too, And

32:13

if you live in the area, then it's not far

32:15

from the woods, you know. Oh

32:18

my god, I'm

32:21

so sorry. I don't think I was.

32:23

I don't think I was checking you out. Um,

32:26

And if I gave that impression, I really do

32:28

sincerely want to apologize. It's

32:31

that you seem to have some sort of weeping lesions

32:34

that are really cleaning your shirt. And I

32:36

was concerned, honestly about the booth

32:39

um and I was just trying to see if they

32:41

are getting on the pas. But it's

32:44

poisonal. It's pis before

32:48

you leave, Before you leave? Is that? Is that Robina

32:51

and Ja Throbbina

32:54

and and I think

32:56

they're it's about to get hot and heavy

32:58

in here. She comes in here every it's in a while, and

33:01

then her I think it's her clock. I don't

33:03

know her that she comes in with they

33:05

go he goes to a different table and then

33:07

stuff goes down. But this is a cool Applebee's,

33:10

So just be cool and don't

33:13

don't talk about it. Okay, okay,

33:15

okay, thank you. Did you guys want

33:17

the ces lime chicken that's

33:20

your two for twenty? Is that similar to the

33:22

chicken chicken? I

33:25

think it is. Yeah, it's analogous to that. Okay.

33:28

And if you decided which of our forty cheesecakes

33:31

you'd like for dessert? Uh

33:35

wow, we didn't even think about the Do we

33:37

have to choose? Now? You?

33:39

Do? You do? They

33:42

take to prepare so yeah,

33:45

I'll don't take New York style, right, I'll

33:47

take the Scott the Scott cheese

33:49

cake. Okay, I'll do that to the Scott

33:51

cheesecake. Did you

33:54

write that on the menu? I

33:56

did. We

33:59

don't have Scott cheesecaket

34:04

in Sharpiet the

34:06

most special we

34:08

should have Scott cheesecake. And that

34:11

is in too our

34:17

very last scene. Suggestion comes

34:19

from our most prominent

34:22

patron alchomaniac, Nicholas Mackauer

34:25

to Joey and Vanessa. We actually invited

34:28

a couple of Alchemniacs into

34:30

the zoom for a little chat beforehand,

34:33

and then they could hang in the zoom

34:36

on on mute but watch and and so

34:38

on, and we finally got to meet this long

34:41

time fans supporter. I feel

34:43

like from day one this guy was writing in and

34:45

he was delightful and charming. Um

34:48

and uh. I just wanted to give a special shout

34:50

out to him. Yeah, he really was a

34:54

hero, I would say of Alchemy list, thank

34:56

you, Nicholas, And he wrote,

35:00

Chris, sorry to bring this up, but ever

35:02

since your marriage vows every day has

35:04

been considerably worse than the last on

35:07

a global scale. I

35:09

mean, technically that's true ship has fallen

35:11

apart, Chris, since you said yes all

35:14

over the world. Yeah, yeah, I don't know

35:16

why he'd felt the need to draw a connection.

35:18

You aren't the anti Christ,

35:21

right, totally cool if you were just

35:23

asking for anyhow a scene

35:25

to remember, suspecting

35:28

your husband is in fact bills

35:33

above. I want James for this. Fuck

35:35

it, Nick, m

35:38

hmm, thank

35:40

you so much for for for

35:43

for all the gifts and all that. I

35:45

think my folks should be getting in sometime

35:47

next week. But when they

35:50

do, you know, popping it down. I'd love

35:52

to get dinner with everyone again. Um.

35:55

And of course you know, Marie,

35:57

thank you so much for the wine, and that's

36:00

no problem I'm making myself. She

36:03

does in

36:06

fact, yeah, you haven't seen toilet

36:08

wine and teas, saying her, I

36:12

haven't drank it till you drank it, and

36:17

standing. Thank you so much again

36:19

for the meal. It's been fantastic. So

36:22

we will. I'll hit you up next week

36:24

or whatever, my folks to It feels like you're short

36:26

of wrapping up. I didn't

36:28

realize that was time for that. Uh

36:33

are we to go? Is that what's happening? This

36:35

is I'm leaving? Oh you're leaving

36:38

because we could go, we could go with right,

36:41

Yeah, I don't think so. No, no,

36:43

no, we're leaving.

36:48

Okay, it's

36:51

just that the party's pretty much so for in

36:53

what way is this party over?

36:55

Marty? You see how much it's left

36:58

in the jug? Marty? Did

37:00

you call her a bitch? Yeah?

37:04

I don't know. I

37:07

guess I was feeling triggered by

37:09

when she said that bitchy country

37:11

thing it

37:14

was. And here

37:17

we're going to get out of here, Okay, you

37:19

know you could just go. You don't have to keep announcing

37:22

it. And also where to come

37:24

with us? That's why I gotta keep doing that. That's why

37:27

worried. We are you

37:30

scared? Just it seems more

37:32

as less with the toilet wine. I feel like maybe

37:34

we should have stopped one cup. Should we walk

37:36

you to your cars? I mean, how bad are

37:38

you feeling? We just took one car. Here,

37:41

we're good, We'll carry him. Let's carry

37:43

him to their car. Hop

37:45

on, No,

37:48

I'm not getting on his back. Hop on so

37:52

hot? Oh

37:55

my god, it's

37:58

been just pushed into flames. What in

38:00

the hell it's going on here? That

38:05

was sucking? Weird? You want me to fill up? A

38:07

cantego with some wine for you.

38:10

No, no, no, no, no no no. I haven't let leaving and leave

38:12

me. Hold down, hold down, you ain't

38:14

leaving. Uh, tell

38:16

me what your seventh seal

38:19

of worry is about the future.

38:22

Oh, I would hate to see myself spontaneously

38:24

combust like what if my husband?

38:28

Well, you don't have to manifest it right to me.

38:30

You could just keep that to yourself. I don't

38:34

just please let me go, Please let me leave. We

38:37

have rabbits at home, rabbit

38:41

count nobody nobody said anything

38:43

about rabbits. You mean like bunnies.

38:46

Yeah, let's go to your place and see the funny.

38:48

Please don't go to my place. We'll

38:51

carry you hop on. Damn,

38:55

this is getting easier every day. You ain't it. Uh,

38:59

let's head on over of this apple base here. See

39:01

what happens. Okay,

39:06

I want some pots stickers, right.

39:10

I just want to let you know this establishment is

39:13

closed. Are

39:15

you open it? Yeah? Well, I mean

39:17

it's you can see it's open quote

39:20

unquote, but I am personally boycotting

39:22

it, so I would appreciate the support

39:24

in Oh, you don't work here, Well,

39:27

well I did you did? You did work

39:29

here? And they don't. They don't treat us well. And

39:32

you know, plus in what way do they

39:34

they not treat you well? Just curious people are

39:36

generally shitty in there, right,

39:39

and I'm boycotting it, and I appreciate the support

39:41

if you two with boycotting your

39:43

boy scout there

39:46

was could you feed us? I

39:50

didn't see that coming. I mean she

39:52

was hoping to get some pots stickers, So I

39:54

just wanted some pots stickers. But you're

39:57

telling that if everybody's boy scouting

39:59

this, yeah, does that mean we have

40:01

to build a camp fires? There's or

40:05

there's certain knots involved and we should know about

40:07

what's your story? What? What's

40:09

your story? What? Who's asking

40:12

me? I mean we're just we're getting to know each

40:14

other here. I'm a discussing employee who's boycotting

40:17

this established me and and and you get

40:19

a local patrons of this

40:21

establishment. We live in the area.

40:24

So when we are hungry and we did

40:26

not want to cooking in our kitchen and we venture

40:29

out the grocery store,

40:31

we'll come here and sometimes

40:33

we did. Hello Fresh, they bring it right to the door.

40:35

You know, when you can cook it up in your

40:38

town? Are you talking? You gotta get the hell out of your

40:40

buddy. Get off. You gotta get the hell out of here.

40:42

Okay, off me, I'll

40:45

no, no, no, that's all right. It's I don't worry to worry. Please

40:48

come in. Uh. He's a local cook,

40:50

so he just gets cooked. Uh every

40:54

restaurant that he gets cooked. You're

40:56

saying, he's not a cut from out of town. No,

40:59

he's a local car that local cut. Come

41:03

on it, come on it. Can I get you a free drink?

41:05

Maybe a free advertiser? I'm so sorry for the convenience. Can

41:07

we start with the table, of

41:10

course? Yeah? Both low

41:13

top the top, It

41:15

is both for lower

41:18

like some I

41:20

know, I've been out in the woods for a long time,

41:22

but I know him when I see

41:24

him. Look over your left shoulder. See

41:27

the horns and that guy those a little tiny

41:29

horns on his head. You're

41:32

saying that. You're saying that guy's a is

41:34

a is a devil or a demon

41:37

of some kind. You see it, You

41:39

see it too, you see

41:41

it too? Yeah? Yeah, any

41:45

who, thanks,

41:49

I'm lost. I'm lost in these woods.

41:53

I'm certainly distressed by

41:55

the by the horns. But I

41:58

don't know if you law so I feel like you found

42:01

something in the woods, would be you

42:05

should stay. You should stay and hang up for a while.

42:07

I've got an extra room in the police that built

42:10

and you can keep this. You can keep

42:13

this painting at me? Who

42:16

this is? Uh? This is experimental.

42:19

Well, honestly, that was my first attempt

42:22

at doing the Devil. It didn't turn out

42:24

good. I like, I want to keep the real one with me. Well,

42:27

there's kind of a ramshackle place there. You've

42:29

got room for me, well

42:31

for now, but if you stay with me, you're gonna have

42:33

to build your own place. And I'm expecting my nephew

42:36

to come out here soon. I think eventually

42:38

it's gonna it's gonna give the bug the

42:40

bug bite to come on out. It's not the

42:42

little a bug bite, but it's

42:44

gonna start nipping out him. Well,

42:47

I could be handy in a pinch, I'll tell you that much.

42:52

Well, that's good. I'm glad you found

42:54

me, Marvin. This is really wonderful.

43:00

I mean, my husband were just taking a stroll through

43:02

the woods. I couldn't

43:04

help am not as you're beautiful, hotty.

43:07

He don't

43:10

don't let them in. We were

43:12

just don't give him permission, vampires

43:16

could come on in and say,

43:19

howdy, neighbor. Oh are

43:22

we neighbors? Did you live out here in

43:24

these woods? We're local, local,

43:29

local, not loco. Say

43:34

local. I said local. Well,

43:36

it's kind of difficult to understand what you're saying,

43:38

sir. Maybe if we came in we could hear you

43:41

better. I've been advised not to

43:43

invite you guys in for fear of possibly

43:45

being vampires. Vampires

43:51

they ain't real because

43:53

of my husband's school

43:55

powers. Yeah, I'm just

43:57

I'm just Jewish. That's why those are there. Our

44:00

score, pappas. Those things that they're

44:02

deep fried with cream cheese, those

44:07

are good, asked papas as.

44:10

Papa Lewis

44:13

Um. I don't know how to say this, but

44:16

your uncle Um was found

44:19

completely drained of all fluid

44:23

in his home in the woods. And

44:26

I'm still going all right, we're still broken

44:29

up. I know, You're just I'm

44:31

still unpacking, you see, my bags are packed.

44:33

I know, but I just found this out about your uncle, and

44:36

I know more stuff. Well,

44:38

it just feels to me like what's happening

44:41

is my girlfriend is upset that I'm leaving her

44:43

because I'm moving to the woods. And now she's making up

44:45

a lot. Yeah, well your uncle was found drained

44:47

of all fluids because he gets damp. Heard you're

44:50

gonna go out there and get You're gonna get sucked off in a bad

44:52

way. You like that?

44:55

You off fine?

45:01

You know, I didn't want to say this, but yeah,

45:04

oh really,

45:07

right on my way out, you

45:09

listen to me go to the woods. I'm

45:12

gonna I'm gonna miss you when i'm out there. Okay,

45:15

And what are you doing? We were about

45:17

to get we were about to get proposed,

45:21

do you I'm

45:23

gonna miss you when I'm out there, Baby, Marty,

45:28

I don't understand why you won't publish a story

45:31

on all these this this local rash

45:33

of fluid drainings. Well,

45:35

it's rather simple. We've

45:37

had this story in here before, so it's

45:40

not fresh exactly. It's a pattern

45:42

of deaths that are affecting this entire

45:45

community. My story

45:47

local cuc drained of all fluids. I'm

45:49

sorry, it just feels tired.

45:52

You know, from like two years two

45:54

years ago, the beginning of the pandemic, everybody

45:56

was drained, you know, the fluids

45:59

they're going and how is this my my

46:02

conserstus, Well, you haven't reported any mass shooting

46:04

since Columbine. Yes, a

46:07

B. When the story is covered,

46:09

you don't want to repeat it. I watched the

46:11

point, We've we've we've read it, we've

46:13

seen it, we published it, and now people

46:16

want to move on. All right, baby, I'm glad

46:18

he chose to come come with me. I think we're

46:20

gonna find a really nice community out here in the

46:22

woods. Baby, it's just your uncle. I

46:25

don't know. I get the feeling more people will be there.

46:28

You know, how did you get that feeling? Look around? Your

46:31

looking your uncle was strained of all.

46:37

What the hell? What

46:39

are you? I'm a lady.

46:42

Hell, I'm

46:44

just a lady. I'm a lady, and you're

46:47

welcome to the woods. We're glad to

46:49

have you come on. This

46:53

is what I'm talking about. Isn't this your uncle's place?

46:56

Are you two kids? An

46:58

item? What they call all in the paper.

47:01

I'm not a child. I'm twenty four. Okay,

47:04

you're aggressive too, are

47:07

you and Adam? Are you hitched? Yes?

47:10

Yes we are. Well we're kind of like

47:12

we're kind of in the well. We'll see. Okay,

47:15

say I've been their sister. You know what you have

47:17

to do? Looking for. You gotta first survey

47:20

here. So I let me give a piece of advice

47:22

to the young, beautiful,

47:24

fleshy woman. Listen

47:27

when them when the fella says he's not sure,

47:30

he's dragging his feet, do you know what you

47:32

gotta do, your sister. No, you

47:35

gotta take his feet. You gotta you aint

47:38

him up on top of your shoulders, and

47:40

you gotta gobbling with you, gobbling

47:43

with you. Take

47:47

your feet on top of my shoulders and then

47:50

go with you, gobble

47:53

him with you, so you it's a goblin

47:55

with me. Thank you everyone

47:57

who's gathered here as we watch our

48:00

dear friend Marvin mceugh take

48:03

his last breath. We're

48:10

live streaming this right Okay,

48:14

how do we know when it's the last one. I'll

48:17

let you know. He'll he'll let us know. Um.

48:20

He requested all of you, specifically,

48:22

all the characters he's meant in his life to be in

48:24

this room with him today.

48:28

People, people would say, People people

48:32

comment, I think I

48:34

like to make doubt she's

48:38

real. College you ought to be dealt with. Did

48:42

you want to say something? I just so I feel

48:44

like it was inappropriate to invite me. I only had

48:46

him at my hotel one time, and honestly

48:49

I didn't enjoy his company. Do you remember what room

48:51

he was? I think it was fourteen

48:53

twelve or something. There's

48:57

no way to find out. You

49:00

can't do even a search without

49:02

specifics, basically a ship

49:05

this time. You know he's

49:09

a bad guy. Yeah, he's not a

49:11

bad guy. Remember remember when he was

49:13

on that TV show with that kid. It's

49:15

like a reality show. Yeah, what

49:17

was that? I don't know,

49:19

he doesn't remember, squat. This

49:23

might be the last. This might be the last one. No,

49:30

damn. I was just about to hey you too,

49:32

the Australians back there. Your

49:37

way through, but your way through. I know

49:39

you had some interactions with Mr MQ.

49:42

I'm going to say something. Go ahead, yeah,

49:45

I I mean

49:47

I think we did. Not Hans

49:49

are preceen if we did. But regardless,

49:52

I want to be here if it's someone's final death

49:56

breath and uh just

49:59

happy to be here. Right. It

50:01

feels like it could be a good times so that maybe

50:03

he'll go up or maybe he'll go under

50:07

a sorry

50:13

no are and are are? It's

50:15

not to be invoted. We you

50:17

know, eats said, but it's

50:20

all sorry maybe not said.

50:23

I don't really

50:25

nice, so good to see so many old

50:28

friends and uh and have

50:30

so many stream Oh

50:34

shame, it's

50:36

got a lot of viewers. I think we gotta keep it going

50:39

till that less. I

50:41

think someone's stuck on an elevator. Hold

50:53

on, what's what's yeah? Yeah? Yeah, yeah yeah,

50:55

marm, marm. Yeah. Well we're gonna keep

50:57

this dream going. What do you want to say? I

51:00

was gonna say this place used to be a brothel years

51:02

ago, but no, there haven't been this many pimps

51:05

since since then. Uh

51:14

but uh oh, so

51:17

so many callbacks, I mean memories. Uh

51:22

but yes, Uh, I'm I've

51:25

lived a good, good life. I'm a hundred

51:27

and twenty two years old and I've I've done

51:29

so many things, lived so

51:31

many lives. What was the third

51:34

thing you did? What

51:38

it was? Booked my pants? Right,

51:45

we're not gonna end on that. I

51:50

was just backing. I was the

51:52

machine the hell out

51:55

of me. I'm sorry, you're a little you're

51:57

a little pitchy. You might want to work on

51:59

that. I guess you here. Yeah, to

52:02

be rude, But is there a reason to believe

52:04

that ms mcugh is dying? That's

52:06

a valid question. That

52:10

was the only information I had. Yeah, and

52:12

and technically we're all dying. But Marvin,

52:14

how do you feel? I feel fine

52:17

because you look like a hundred damned dollars. I'll

52:19

tell you what. Well, that's good to hear. Yeah,

52:23

what happens when I pinched sprinkle up? Wrinkle

52:26

up and green? That's wrinkled

52:30

up and it's a joke. I'm a

52:32

character. Oh

52:36

she's a card, real cut up. But how what happens

52:39

when I pinched this tube? Well?

52:43

Nothing, nothing, nothing,

52:45

I'm hard to kill, you know, that's

52:48

just one of my two Sorry my

52:51

back. I

52:57

don't think he's dying. I think

53:00

anyone watching the stream. Yeah,

53:03

but they're all really upset now that there's no death.

53:07

People did tune in for death. You're not wrong.

53:10

I mean one of us could volunteer. I suppose

53:15

volunteer. Yeah, yeah,

53:19

we need someone on camera. I think,

53:22

oh, well, listen, we could

53:24

also wait for one of them nurse people to come

53:27

in and just snuff them out as

53:30

a group. As a group, I

53:32

mean it's for the fans, right, Yeah,

53:36

I wouldn't listen to the guy with the horns. That's

53:40

anti semitic, right there, Marvin Well,

53:44

I I didn't mean to be. I'm I'm Jewish

53:47

myself. Are you do you? Guys? Put

53:49

the camera on the elevator. That guy's head is

53:51

caught in that. Don't

53:58

hold the door, let it go. Hold Look it

54:01

looks like he's holding some pumper nickel. Oh

54:10

that is our show. Oh

54:12

man, Well we tried, we

54:14

tried to move. Oh manly

54:20

apologies. No, that was that was perfection

54:23

as we stumbled down memory lane only

54:26

to be uh cuckled.

54:30

Ah what a damn hell

54:32

wonderful gathering. And man,

54:35

oh man, we uh will say so

54:37

long for now. At some point. I don't know if

54:39

it's goodbye forever, but we will

54:41

be allowed legally

54:44

to gather again at some point

54:46

should we choose to, but we will.

54:48

We'll say goodbye to the to the fans of this particular

54:51

podcast for now. Joey,

54:53

how long do you expect for? How much

54:55

longer do you expect to live? Um?

54:59

A couple of thousands? Okay, all

55:01

right? And uh, have you

55:03

had one COVID test since

55:06

you've been ill? No, I've had three,

55:09

had so I've had three and then today was,

55:11

uh, you're you're positive, which

55:13

is so crazy because I had I was sick as

55:18

you can hear, and then I took the test. So

55:20

this is just a little COVID advice. Two

55:22

years in. It might be sick

55:24

taking a test that I'm negative, but it's

55:27

gonna take a couple of days before it like pops up as possy.

55:30

Uh huh. And these are the hometown

55:32

Will you find the home test to be a little rinky

55:34

dink? Even the alleged good ones? Did

55:37

you go somewhere and have people swap you from

55:39

the outdoor? No? No, I did the Uh, I

55:41

did the rinky think ones. I went to the I got the CBS,

55:44

not the uh not the abbot to buy the next

55:46

ones with those orange ones? Uh huh, that's

55:49

the one I have, all

55:51

right, James settled down, James,

55:55

James. Uh

55:59

yeah, Jamie was testing positive and

56:01

then she got an antigen test

56:03

because apparently can test positive also. I mean, you're

56:05

only a couple of days into this, but you can

56:07

you can test positive for allegedly

56:10

months, So the antigen tests will tell

56:12

you if you're in fact contagious,

56:16

right right, Because it's all we've learned

56:18

so much, haven't we go When

56:20

this podcast started, we were so stupid.

56:23

We didn't even know about antigen tests

56:25

or PCRs and

56:29

look at all this growth we've had. I

56:32

feel good about that growth as well. We're still stupid

56:34

technically, but we do know a lot more

56:37

about viruses and how to

56:39

fight them or get them, get

56:41

them and survived them. Uh

56:44

well, Joey, much love to your family

56:47

for looking after you. I

56:50

also have another podcast,

56:52

yes please if people want to come hear

56:55

me scream some more. It's

56:57

called you Know What I Would Do. It's

56:59

me and my comedy partner Mike Castle, and we just

57:01

talk about different random things, from the fall

57:04

of Rome to the met Gala to the

57:06

naming of the hot Dog. We talk about

57:08

what that is to us, all the information we know, and then

57:10

we would say, well we would do if we were in

57:12

charge of that situation, and

57:15

folks define that wherever podcasts are available

57:18

exactly and you can find it at you know,

57:20

underscore pod on Instagram.

57:23

Somebody had much, somebody had the other one.

57:25

So that's too much. We're gonna do? What are gonna

57:27

do? What's the name of the podcast again? Do

57:29

you know what I would do? That's correct? And

57:32

thank you? I feel better, thank

57:35

you. Uh yeah, I hope

57:37

you're able to poop some God, I

57:39

hope I can eat something too.

57:42

Let's not rush that. You're right, start

57:44

with a cracker. And also, let me

57:46

say this has been a blast four years right

57:50

now. I mean this has been really fun. We've met so

57:52

many great people, insane

57:55

scenes. Vanessa, you're a thousand percent right, like

57:57

it is unhinged to the max. It's

57:59

been so much fun. And especially

58:02

during like covid on

58:05

like it was a nice retreat, you know, it

58:07

was a good, fun kind of home

58:10

base to come back to and performing.

58:12

Yeah, in the real scary

58:15

thick of it. It really became a

58:17

weekly touchsnowe

58:19

for for me. I don't know about the rest of

58:21

you, but yeah, something

58:24

I really look forward to, almost

58:26

as much as today. But yeah, it was once

58:29

we stopped having to look at each other, I think the show

58:32

really picked up person

58:37

to look into the camera of the

58:39

computer or device or

58:42

look at each other in the boxes. That was always

58:44

the difficult transition for me, what do we look

58:47

at? But yeah, thank you

58:49

for that, Joey, And thanks, um, thanks,

58:52

thanks, thanks Vanessa. Uh

58:55

the theaters coming up on five year

58:57

anniversary, eiter,

59:01

Um, so many extraordinary shows.

59:03

Is it's still Donny C. Typewriter dot

59:06

com. That's the place that is

59:08

on the internet for the calendar

59:11

mm hm and you can see things. And because

59:13

of the pandemic, we started doing live streams

59:15

and so now we're doing some hybrid shows

59:18

still, which are really fun as a way

59:20

to keep things out in

59:22

the world. Um, and we might be doing

59:24

classes and stuff soon. But yeah, this, uh,

59:27

this whole journey has been so special, and the timing

59:30

of alchemy this I wish I had had more bandwidth

59:32

for everything. But my life is

59:35

mostly the theater and then the children.

59:38

Um, and it's a good life. But

59:40

this is such a fun part of it. And I

59:42

thank you guys for inviting me back to this episode.

59:45

I'm almost gonna cry. But it means a lot

59:47

to um to be with everybody because

59:49

this is like such a good safe playground

59:51

and I am so appreciative and

59:54

it felt good to actually improvise after

59:56

all these years. I imagine, yes

59:59

it did, yeah,

1:00:02

I mean it was. It was a bit of a

1:00:04

departure you, um so wow,

1:00:07

just terrific and thank you yeah yeah

1:00:09

yeah uh. Craigkowski

1:00:13

coming around the horn, you are headed

1:00:16

into booking

1:00:18

more shows that James

1:00:21

was so close to getting. Is that what I'm sensing?

1:00:26

Uh, Well, the Continuing Adventures Marvin mqugh

1:00:28

will continue on the Chemistry that podcast.

1:00:33

Oh what about The History of the World Part two?

1:00:36

That's a television series you did? When does that drop?

1:00:38

Yeah? You know, I've got a few things like in

1:00:41

the books that I have no idea

1:00:43

when they're gonna air. Like I've got

1:00:46

got a guest spot on the History of the World

1:00:48

the part two The mel Brooks Show. I

1:00:50

have heard no word about when that premieres, but that's gonna

1:00:52

be on Hulu on Hulu.

1:00:55

Yeah, And I'm about to shoot a a

1:00:58

bit part in a movie that's a drama,

1:01:00

and you're gonna see way more of me

1:01:02

than you would like to. Oh.

1:01:06

But yeah, so I'm kind of moving away

1:01:08

from the comedy, moving more into the nude

1:01:11

drama. So

1:01:13

you're in the new season in Bridgetain that

1:01:18

the people have spoken and that's what they

1:01:20

want to see. Holding

1:01:22

over Miami, got it? Yeah, but this

1:01:26

I mean to have the original

1:01:28

cast back today was like such a such

1:01:31

a treat and like to to just

1:01:33

play with everyone and like it's so joyous

1:01:35

and and fun and I thank you for the uh

1:01:38

for keeping it alive and for for creating

1:01:41

it, and like what a what a great

1:01:43

opportunity for us all to uh

1:01:46

to have a blast and to to get closer

1:01:48

as as friends and as collaborators.

1:01:51

So I love to you all. Oh

1:01:54

nice, so nice. Yeah,

1:01:57

well you were such a corner

1:02:00

stone Craig that um, you

1:02:02

know, Vanessa had a contrant in the theater and the

1:02:04

children, Joey had nineteen

1:02:07

plates to spend, and we somehow pressed

1:02:09

on with some amazing guest alchemists.

1:02:11

But as soon as Craig said I think I'm a step away,

1:02:13

Chris and I started texting each other's thing. Well

1:02:16

that's it. Well,

1:02:20

that's it. Cornerstone

1:02:23

is checking out. We gotta go. So

1:02:26

thank you for being that cornerstone, Craig, Chris

1:02:29

Buddyo pal Um, thank

1:02:32

you. You know you. I feel

1:02:34

like you've been an emotional heart and

1:02:37

uh of the whole thing and in a sense

1:02:40

of family. Uh. Also,

1:02:43

you were guest hosting a couple of times

1:02:45

that I think you enjoyed. Yeah, based

1:02:48

on some stats I saw hosts.

1:02:53

Yeah we should should we talk about the Yeah.

1:02:58

Also just thanks man, I'm this is the dream

1:03:00

team. I remember when we had lunch Kevin and you talked about

1:03:03

this idea so many years ago, and

1:03:05

U and I just I just was

1:03:08

like, yeah, this is it. This is the team.

1:03:11

Every one of you guys like this is incredible,

1:03:13

and it's been incredible. I don't

1:03:15

think I ever found my footing in the Zoom situation.

1:03:18

Though it's

1:03:20

a little hard for me, a little a little difficult

1:03:22

for me, but happy to have a place to come every week. Um,

1:03:25

and you know, we're all still doing a bunch of shows everywhere

1:03:28

and we'll continue to do them for the rest of our lives.

1:03:30

So you know, that's that's fun.

1:03:33

And you know, I'm kind of

1:03:35

building my own, uh my own improv

1:03:38

training empire. I just sold

1:03:40

out my first six week class, so

1:03:42

you know, I'm trying my own stuff here. I

1:03:45

don't have it landed on a branding name,

1:03:48

but right now we're dealing with the Chris Verona Improv

1:03:50

Workshops. If that's something you ever want to give it a shot.

1:03:52

I do in person workshops, I'm having classes,

1:03:55

and I still do online stuff. If that's I just

1:03:57

want to say that out loud so it lives here.

1:03:59

Yeah, I'm really I'm

1:04:01

really proud of the work we're doing there though it's

1:04:03

not that funny. Frankly, it's a little more dramatic.

1:04:06

But anywhere, that's that, That's what I've got

1:04:08

going on. I just I'm not I'm gonna see

1:04:10

you guys forever and see you guys on TV and on stage.

1:04:13

But yes, let's mention here real quickly.

1:04:16

Uh. A gentleman named Jason Sura

1:04:18

name, Yeah,

1:04:22

but it's yes, fine morse surname which

1:04:24

would be interesting last name right. Um.

1:04:29

He showed us an email. I'm gonna

1:04:31

read this real quick, he said, Hello, funny people. I hope you don't

1:04:33

mind, but I logged every appearance

1:04:35

of every Alchemy this across every

1:04:37

episode y'all have made and

1:04:40

put together this dashboard

1:04:43

and here's a link here. Um, it's

1:04:45

a really interesting idea. But what from

1:04:47

what we can gather from the small amount and we've

1:04:49

we've looked at it. It's just a

1:04:52

way, it's a hub of way

1:04:54

of locating every episode with every

1:04:56

player and every combination you can think

1:04:58

of. So if you want to see, if you want to hear

1:05:00

a show with Vanessa hosted by

1:05:03

Cole, I think you can find these. There's

1:05:05

an algorithm there in place. I don't know too

1:05:07

much about it, but check it out at public

1:05:09

dot tableau dot com, slash

1:05:14

views, slash alchemy this al

1:05:17

comic tricksy.

1:05:20

I think, I

1:05:23

think if you go to public dot tableau

1:05:25

dot com, I'm sure you can search alchemy

1:05:28

this and find this really

1:05:30

incredible, incredible,

1:05:32

uh database of everything we've

1:05:34

ever done. So thank you to to Jason

1:05:37

for his contribution. Yeah, that's

1:05:40

kind of extraordinary and just a scoche

1:05:43

creepy, but I

1:05:45

love every square inch of it. Um.

1:05:49

Yeah, James, I

1:05:52

want to reiterate that that that database

1:05:55

is amazing. We have just gotten it, so it's

1:05:57

kind of exciting and it's kind of mysterious

1:05:59

still. If can't mind it there, it's

1:06:01

on the Alchemy This pod, the Alchemy

1:06:03

pod on Reddit, so there's a link to it there,

1:06:06

and I'm also going to make sure that that's on the

1:06:08

Alchemy This Patreon page, which

1:06:11

is going to So far, everybody that

1:06:13

I've written to has said that they're okay with

1:06:15

it being free, which was kind of a caveat.

1:06:18

So all of the Alchemy This Patreon

1:06:20

stuff, the minis and the the

1:06:23

live shows and the green room stuff is gonna

1:06:25

be for free for anybody on the Patreon,

1:06:29

So any of you, everyone listening can sign up

1:06:31

to that. Anybody they can sign up. It's gonna be

1:06:33

free. Whatever the free tier is, you take that,

1:06:35

and I'm going to make sure that that's living there.

1:06:37

If for some reason they're gonna make me take it down

1:06:39

or I don't know what's gonna happen in the future, but as of now,

1:06:42

it's free and as far as I can, as

1:06:44

long as I can control it, it's gonna be free. Um.

1:06:47

I don't see any reason we get taken down, and

1:06:49

I'll have the links to the YouTube channel things with

1:06:52

all of the zooms uh. And

1:06:55

I've had so much fun doing the show. I

1:06:58

love doing and honestly, zoom Improv

1:07:00

doesn't bother me as long as it's with people

1:07:02

that I'm connected with. I struggle with it also

1:07:04

with people that I haven't worked with in the past.

1:07:07

But I plan on starting another podcast

1:07:10

which almost identical borderline

1:07:12

thievery of the format, and

1:07:15

it's going to be called Original Understudies,

1:07:17

um, and kind of the idea of like, maybe this

1:07:20

isn't the cast you expected, but these understudies,

1:07:22

well they're pretty original, and

1:07:24

it's gonna be at Original Understudies dot

1:07:26

com and

1:07:29

yeah, so I would love it. My hope is

1:07:31

is that it might not be something that you can do

1:07:33

all the time, but maybe once in the blue moon,

1:07:36

if I could get any of the Alchemists to join,

1:07:38

that would be will blow my fucking mind, is

1:07:41

what it would do. Thank you

1:07:44

for that, James, And uh godspeed?

1:07:47

And are you going to be okay? James? I

1:07:50

mean I was. I was never gonna

1:07:52

be okay. I

1:07:55

think you guys took me from a from a pretty

1:07:57

like I thry even

1:08:00

this kind of world, so that it

1:08:02

is. It is heartbreaking, honestly, but

1:08:05

at the same time, I'm excited

1:08:07

to see what comes next. I feel like always

1:08:09

when one thing seems to close, I have

1:08:12

been so lucky that there's a

1:08:14

dozen doors that open in front of me. Fantastic

1:08:18

When well said for a change,

1:08:21

I uh

1:08:26

um, well, yeah, so this was

1:08:29

a ridiculous notion I had that I

1:08:31

shared with Chris that day at lunch. I'd

1:08:33

been to the West Side Comedy Theater enough times to see

1:08:36

some brilliantly uh gifted

1:08:39

improvisers who were fearless and

1:08:42

fast and mostly funny,

1:08:44

So I thought, um,

1:08:47

what would happen right if we didn't

1:08:49

allow people to move around

1:08:53

while improvising and sit at

1:08:55

a table in front of microphones. It was really

1:08:57

stupid, uh as as that

1:09:00

process goes, but um,

1:09:02

everyone kind of thrived in the room and then

1:09:04

yes, the pandemic allowed forced

1:09:06

us to pivot. So yeah,

1:09:09

it really became or

1:09:12

has been through this journey an

1:09:14

extraordinary experience in every which

1:09:16

way. And to know whenever I had to

1:09:18

step aside because of this, that or the other thing, that

1:09:22

uh, not only Cole Stratton will thank

1:09:24

him, but also members here in

1:09:26

the Zoom, Kristen James and Craig

1:09:29

uh could step in as as guest hosts,

1:09:32

which empowered James to realize,

1:09:34

oh I can fucking do this and

1:09:38

watch him, watch him sore um

1:09:40

as I know all of you will continue to do. And thank

1:09:42

you for each of you for taking

1:09:44

the journey. Um and and

1:09:47

yeah, just on a completely selfish

1:09:49

level that allowed me to to realize

1:09:52

this nutty idea. And uh

1:09:54

so yeah and thanks to all the listeners and viewers

1:09:58

and Doug Bam and I Radio

1:10:04

and yeah, Sophie

1:10:06

was one of our producers early on. She was great.

1:10:10

Balls were on the ceiling all the time, the

1:10:12

dogs, balls, dog Anderson

1:10:15

Cooper right, glass

1:10:18

ceiling between us and the second floor, and her

1:10:20

dog and it's testicles

1:10:23

did, in fact walk over our heads several

1:10:25

times. Thank you for that memory, James I had

1:10:27

somehow let it go. Uh.

1:10:31

Never again, that's what we say, never again,

1:10:34

never again. Um yeah. God

1:10:36

clearly don't want to say goodbyes, so we'll say so long

1:10:38

for now to each and every one of you. And

1:10:42

until next time we meet, be well,

1:10:45

uh joey poop, and and

1:10:48

thank you.