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Hey. There I'm Scott Mitchell, the

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editor of Schwartz Media's daily news

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show Seven. I am. This.

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The Weekend Read: Every. Fortnight

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On the show we feature the best

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writing in Australia read to you by

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the people who wrote it. Today.

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On the show right at Angeles

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Savage with Herpes from a recent

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edition of the monthly. Parents.

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Often face the dilemma of helping

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their children become independent while not

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wanting to let them go. Angela

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met with this very die looking

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to a small nest in her

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backyard and the life cycle of

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black to find resolve as her

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own daughter was leaving the nest.

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Angela will read her story

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fledglings. After a short conversation.

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Angela. Before we begin,

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I have to admit that I

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myself am an only child and

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I'm saying that that's not why

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I was attracted to your piece.

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But when you began to rise

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it about parenthood? what is it

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that you wanted to capture about

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raising. An only child. Think

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I pad it was that that sins

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of having so much more to lose

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when there's one which is perhaps a

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bit of it Can say it as

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well, because I don't think the loss

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of any child would be any less

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significant no matter how many children he

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hadn't. Certainly that's been my experience with

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friends. We've got one guy when you're

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a parent hum of a single child,

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and there's a lot that I've done.

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In my life as a parent because I've had

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a strong sense whoa, I money ever going to

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be doing this once. I'm going. To give it my

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best shot. And shepherding my

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child through the slightest milestone of

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her taking the zip major step

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towards independence, I felt that I

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needed to try and do this

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to the best in my Billie

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and. I lost my

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mom a couple of years. Guy. And

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I at first. I was really.

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Deeply. Saddened that she wasn't around for me. I

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was the him. However, you're going through this major Molson

2:07

are really made. My mother. Here and then

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I actually. Realized she'd actually given

2:11

me what I needed to get my

2:14

daughter through this stage. We'd been through

2:16

that experience when I was eighteen. am

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I left for France. My daughter's only

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gonna sars presidents. Of and at the time

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of course I thought nothing of it. and now I think

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how could have done that to my poor mother? But

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you know at the time see a. She

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was extraordinary in terms of acting In

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my best interests am I find her

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from France after the first month and

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said on night a terrible mistake on

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really lonely I'm really homesick. I want

2:41

to come time and my mom's you're

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probably would have love nothing more than

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to. Say yes, come home Now Said

2:48

to me give it another way

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and if he still. Feel the same

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way in a week's time will make arrangements for

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the come home. And of course in

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that way Guy started learning French. I'm on

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my principal of the world and never. Look

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back and. That experiences all.

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I stayed with me and that's

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what I felt that was the

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mother I needed to base when

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my daughter started talking about moving

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from home. Amazing And and in

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the peace, You know you're right

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about discovering this black bird nest

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in your garden and I won't

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ask you about that. And as

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a writer, did you realize immediately.

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That. He wanted to kind of play with

3:25

that lens of looking at. it was a

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something have settled in overtime or how to

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do tomorrow sort of Come to that. I

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remember he's gotten on it. I'm going to

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answer this question a little closer years. As

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a rabbit ears guy barber to paid, I

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sang at a Melbourne modest festival that life,

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real life is full of the kinds of

3:43

coincidences you can never get away with in

3:45

fiction. And in a way, the black bird's

3:48

nest was like the kind of metaphor that

3:50

I couldn't have made up a a just

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the the. Universe gave it to

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me, and certainly. As.

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I to avoid a birds eye should also

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add das. So this.

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This. Occurrence of. The nest in our

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garden at the same. Time as my daughter

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was finishing school. Just same like this incredible

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metaphor and I guess I was on top

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of it on my stride of why I

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was rising a lot about it. I was

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journaling and I hadn't general for while so

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this is obviously something that's that Did kind

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of find. My imagine I since and

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then. When. Natasha. My daughter was

4:23

four and a half months old. I put her

4:25

into childcare one day I wake so that I

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could go back to Rising and it was a

4:29

tough decision. but I'd been a ride a before

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I became a mother and in my head I

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was saying I'll still be a writer. When she

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laid science and loss it was a deprivation of

4:38

my time. And and focus. I felt that

4:40

in the long run see it would

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benefit. Her because she would nice she wasn't responsible

4:44

for my my son will being this is something I

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take care of myself as a creative. Cause

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I didn't expect that to have. To be put to

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the test. Clots I soon. And.

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The rising of the story Really odd. Did

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actually write myself through the grace of her

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leaving hi, I'm it was incredibly cathartic. It's.

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That exercise. Actually

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helped me to shift my perception. said

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that instead of. Being.

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A sad sack for he sees on t empty

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nest I found a different. Kind of focus

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and series spoke about. Your

5:14

own leaving home and how your

5:16

mother deal with that. I mean,

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that moment is sort of a

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huge moment. phobos, the child and

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the parents. And just as you

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approach that, what is it that

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you felt like was a way

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in or the way that you

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wanted to speak about that moment

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to someone. Wanted to capture

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the ambivalence obviously and you know it's in

5:37

that line about army. I wanted to be

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independent, I don't wanna delays and I can

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have boys. That.

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kind of incredible ambivalence of parenthood that

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you want to protect itself from everything

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and cons and you also want them

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to be resilient and free and independent

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so i was trying to capture that

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ambivalence but also i guess reaching out

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to other pets who are going through

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a similar thing. It's the start of

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the university year. I think there are

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a lot of people out there. And

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certainly I got a beautiful response to

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the article from a lot of friends

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who are going through a similar thing.

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To sort of try, as I say, to shift

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the focus so that it doesn't have to be

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about loss. It can be about

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something new and something equally beautiful to

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what you have, but different. And

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what's been really lovely is that even, you

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know, my daughter's left home about two

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months ago now, but already our relationships

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moved into a different space. There's

6:32

just a different quality to it,

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which is quite beautiful. You

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know, it's just, now that I'm not responsible for

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her day-to-day wellbeing, our communication's far

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less transactional and much more

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philosophical, and that's really exciting.

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And interestingly, Scott, the parallel is that, you

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know, when she was a baby, you know, babies are

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so cute. Babies are just gorgeous. You know, you can't

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get enough of babies. And I kept

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thinking, even as I

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was mothering this baby, oh, I'm really gonna

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miss this stage. And then she became

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a toddler and it's like, oh my God, this is

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really exciting. All this speech is happening and all this

7:05

kind of, the sense of humour's coming out and I'm

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really gonna miss her being a toddler. And then she

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became a kid, you know, with her own kind of opinions.

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And so I never

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grieved the loss of the previous stage as

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much as I'd anticipated because there was so

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much more in what followed to enjoy. Amazing.

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Angela, I really can't wait to hear you

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read your piece. Thanks, Scott. Coming

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up after the break, Angela

7:31

Savage will read Fledglings.

7:41

For Sloane Crozley, writing about the loss

7:43

of a friend may not have provided

7:45

catharsis, but it did allow for

7:47

the possibility of a better ending. Like

7:50

You have this amazing meal that's this friendship and

7:52

you have a really, really, really, really bad dessert

7:54

with shards of glass in it. And Then like

7:56

the book is like, you know, those little chunks

7:58

of chocolate that come with the bill. I'm.

8:00

Michael Williams join me for this week's

8:03

episode of Read This as I talked

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to Sloan Crows Way about her latest

8:07

graces for people. Listen. Way

8:09

of he get a podcast? Fledglings,

8:20

The. Wake My daughter finishes high school, I

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find a black birds nest in a

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raised garden bed in our Melbourne backyard.

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Shouted. By late season broad beans.

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The desk store cup contains for

8:32

speckled blue eggs. The.

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Mama bird disturbed by the harvesting

8:37

flies off. I convinced

8:39

my partner to leave a few broadband stocks in

8:41

place to sell to the Nest. He

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rips out the rest, tops up the

8:45

compost and motors in tomato seedlings. Mama.

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Bird returns once the planning is done

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and sit for hours on end or

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the have precious clutch. I

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read up on the nesting. Habits of blackbirds.

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The. Eggs will take two to three weeks to hatch.

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The. Tiny hatchlings will be blind and

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featherless at first confined to the

9:05

nest. Then. On at this

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stage as nestlings. Our

9:09

daughter is in nestling and only child who

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has spent a significant amount of time at

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home with their parents due in part to

9:16

club had lockdowns, in part to her tendency

9:18

is a homebody. We. Enroll

9:20

her at the local high school as

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go with the uniform. Walking distance from

9:24

our home to be close to appease.

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Elements. Of my own schooling that on

9:29

enjoyed and want her to enjoy to. Once.

9:33

They outgrow the nestling stage by

9:35

the blackbirds, develop into fledglings, testing

9:37

their wings while still staying close

9:39

to the nest. Our. Daughter

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has other plans. In

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u Ten, she successfully auditions. For specialist

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at school to study drama and Cs up.

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The. School commute requires had a rise with

9:52

the birds. Her new friends

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live all over the state, franks and learned

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up. Our heads and there's no. Uniform.

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Six months into her final year of high

10:02

school, she sets her sights on film directing

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and producing. Highly pragmatic

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with a strong work ethic, she clocks

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that the Gold Coast is the center

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of filmmaking in Australia and applies for

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graduate school in Brisbane. She

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gets an early offer from Griffith University. In

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early December, she takes her first solo flight

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to Queensland to spend schoolies on

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Stradbroke Island with a close group of friends,

10:25

several of whom have been accepted into an

10:27

acting course in Brisbane. I'd

10:30

anticipated that she would take a gap year in 2024 and

10:33

travel overseas as I did at her age.

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And I'd made plans on the assumption that we'd meet up

10:38

in Europe, travel together as I'd done with

10:40

my mother, making memories to

10:42

last a lifetime. The

10:45

first of the eggs hatches the day before

10:47

my daughter finishes her exams, the

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last on the day of her high school graduation.

10:52

The tiny blind featherless chicks are

10:55

as helpless as newborn human babies. Within

10:58

days, the chicks appear open

11:00

mouthed, their throats a startling

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Marigold orange. I'm

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reminded of those early weeks of motherhood

11:07

when everything revolved around feeding and sleeping.

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The mama bird continues to sit on

11:12

the nest when she's not off collecting

11:14

food as baby birds like human babies

11:16

cannot thermoregulate. If the

11:18

mama bird is present when I check on the

11:21

nest, she stares at me with a ferocity that

11:23

I recognize. Nothing will

11:25

endanger her babies on her watch. The

11:29

papa bird brings food too, though he's

11:31

flighty, scared to approach when I'm nearby.

11:34

But he does a sterling job of fending off other

11:36

birds that wandered too close to the family patch. I

11:40

have a vivid memory of bringing our daughter home

11:42

from hospital after her birth. We

11:44

stop at a red light, and as I turn to check

11:47

on the baby in her capsule on the back seat, I'm

11:49

flooded with dread, realizing that at

11:51

any moment, another car might crash into

11:54

us and I'm powerless to protect her. It

11:57

is a defining moment of parenthood. I

11:59

can do. my best but I will never be able

12:01

to protect her from the world, from

12:04

accidents, heartbreak, disappointment,

12:06

defeat, no matter how hard

12:08

I try. As

12:11

my daughter leans more toward relocating to

12:13

Brisbane, my mind turns to how

12:15

best to equip her for her new life. How

12:18

many sets of towels and sheets she will

12:20

need, what kitchen appliances, which favourite

12:22

recipes I need to teach her to

12:24

make before she goes. I realise I'm

12:27

still trying to make a nest for her. But

12:29

nests are not transportable. Juvenile birds

12:32

grow up and make their own. Around

12:36

day seven, one of the blackbird chicks vanishes.

12:39

No sign of struggle, no corpse. I'm

12:42

pretty sure it's the smallest that has gone. In

12:45

response to my posts on social media where

12:47

I document the birds' progress, people

12:49

leave comments. Sometimes Mumma

12:51

throws the weakling out of the nest. It's

12:53

Darwin's theory of evolution at work. I'm

12:57

reminded of the Lion and Barbara Kingsolver's

12:59

novel The Poisonwood Bible when Mother says,

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when push comes to shove, a mother takes care of

13:04

her children from the bottom up. Maybe

13:06

they love from the top down in the bird world. It's

13:10

less complicated when there's only one child

13:12

to love. There's also so much more

13:14

to lose. I'd

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like to tell you that the chicks fledge the

13:19

same morning my daughter takes her first flight without

13:21

her parents, but I'd be making it up. My

13:24

daughter flies off, the chicks stay put and they're

13:26

still in the nest the following day when my

13:28

partner and I leave town for the weekend. I

13:31

travel further for work while my partner returns

13:33

home. He reports an empty

13:36

nest and sends me a photo of a

13:38

lone chick not moving in our birdbath. My

13:42

non-interventionist resolves falters and I implore him to

13:44

scoop up the chick and return it to the nest.

13:47

He deposits it as close as he can. The

13:50

following day he reports that the nest is empty,

13:53

but I think they're around the garden he says.

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Indeed, once I'm back home I see the parents

13:58

and at least one of them. the brown

14:00

flecked chicks flitting around the lemon tree.

14:05

The metaphor continues to play out. Our

14:07

daughter, no longer a nestling, has fledged,

14:10

messaging us now and then to say she misses us

14:12

but is having fun. She

14:14

returns home but not for long. She

14:16

finds an apartment in Brisbane to move into with

14:18

two friends. I

14:21

want her to be independent. I

14:23

don't want her to leave. I

14:25

can't have both. She

14:27

and her father leave in the middle of February to drive

14:30

to her new home. The car is

14:32

packed with her stuff. There is no room for me. I

14:35

cry quietly as I kiss her goodbye. I

14:38

sob loudly in the wake of her

14:40

departure, feeling like my heart

14:43

is breaking. She

14:45

anticipates me in our empty nest, contemplating

14:48

whether we have given her what she needs

14:50

to survive and thrive in this world, leaving

14:53

me a letter to say that I have prepared her

14:56

well. It assures me she is not moving away to

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leave me behind. I

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contemplate instead the beauty of a

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bird in flight.