Episode Transcript
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0:00
Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. At Mint Mobile, we
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Full terms at mintmobile.com. Here
0:33
we are. The boys are in
0:35
stride in this episode. That's how
0:37
I look at it. Hot
0:40
off of listening to episode 35 myself,
0:43
the episode which awaits you in
0:45
mere seconds. I like it.
0:47
It's nice to do to
0:50
figure out what they're doing. They know that
0:52
it doesn't mean the earth, but they're having
0:54
fun doing it. This is us
0:56
that, I guess, doing the math really quickly. The
0:58
60 to 70% completion mark. I
1:03
feel like there is an energy
1:05
that the end is somewhat in sight.
1:09
We're a little bit excited, I think, because
1:11
this is when we started getting a few
1:13
listeners coming in from the States and our
1:15
numbers were going pretty good. The
1:19
boys are in a good place in this episode. The
1:22
guys are doing well.
1:25
The movie remains the same. There's a lot
1:28
of treats in this episode. I would invite
1:30
you to listen to the very end because
1:32
there's a pretty great treat right
1:35
in the final bit. It's
1:37
very funny to hear us talking about Patty
1:39
Schwartz as well as these episodes tick by.
1:44
One day, God willing, we will have
1:46
that bear with him. I
1:48
think now his star is on the rise
1:50
so much that I think
1:53
he might exit any possible
1:55
stratosphere that we could hope to
1:57
catch him approaching. our
2:00
realm. I think maybe that possibility has
2:03
disappeared. But that's alright. We
2:05
don't fucking need him. We've got him
2:07
tattooed on our bodies. He's with us
2:09
wherever we go until we
2:12
die. Anyway, enjoy this
2:14
episode. It's fun, it's nice, it's a good
2:16
one. And
2:34
then what was the one that was called
2:36
the Mexican Hat Dance and Nokia's Play That
2:51
or have we already done that one? What was that
2:53
one? I couldn't tell you. I
2:56
can't remember. Hello and welcome to the
2:58
worst idea of all time. Episode number
3:00
35. Slightly unorthodox introduction for what was
3:03
a very orthodox watch of the movie.
3:05
Just Tim and I, middle of
3:07
the day, lounging about. I'm in shorts.
3:09
Just wadding around. You look good. I said that as
3:11
soon as I opened the door and you were there.
3:13
Yeah, and your bed is coming along nicely. Thanks. And
3:15
I think we should address this right at the top.
3:18
Tim and I were just talking about it. What we
3:20
would love to see from you is more
3:22
selfies wherever you're listening to the podcast. Hard
3:25
out people. We find it really interesting to
3:27
know that people are like listening to this while
3:29
they go about their lives. I don't mind that
3:32
anyone's listening at all, to be honest. There's a
3:34
friend of one of my flatmates came in and
3:36
she listened to the podcast completely independently of knowing
3:38
him. He didn't even put her onto it. She
3:40
just listened. It's amazing. It's even more amazing that
3:42
there are people in America who listen to this.
3:45
I love to expect that. A guy posted on
3:49
the Facebook page saying, I'm starting to think in a
3:51
Kiwi accent because he's been listening to the podcast so
3:53
much. Oh shit. I love that. That must be confusing.
3:55
We don't pop up enough content for that to
3:57
happen though. Maybe we need to do a podcast
4:00
every. Just start cranking it. Every day mate. I
4:02
could watch it. I'm in such a good mood
4:04
right now I could watch this movie. No, I'm
4:06
not gonna say anything stupid, but I could watch
4:08
this movie another 15 times or whatever What
4:12
today? No, I just I have been thinking that for
4:14
one of them We could do like a charity drive
4:16
where we lock ourselves into a room for 48 hours
4:19
And the movie's just on repeat so we can
4:21
we can do other things No,
4:23
we're in a room. It's just us.
4:26
So like no technology. So it's on.
4:28
Yeah No technology. So
4:30
it's actually not a before that would actually
4:32
that would You
4:35
come back round to my idea for the
4:37
bathtub special To grown men
4:39
in a lukewarm bath on the stage watching
4:41
grown-ups, too There's a way more nightmarish version
4:43
of it And by the way,
4:45
if this is the first episode that you've
4:47
come in for some reason This is a
4:49
podcast in which myself and Guy Montgomery. I'm
4:51
Tim that we're going Montgomery We watched the
4:53
movie grown-ups to once a week every week
4:56
for a whole year We kind of review it
4:58
afterwards. This is episode 35 with us You
5:03
sure? No, I'm really not not important. Pretty
5:05
sure what are the time time
5:07
is but a construct of man Exactly and
5:09
one that I am fast losing my grip
5:12
on. Absolutely. Uh, so I mean It
5:15
was just like it was just it was
5:17
just but imagine that imagine if we did
5:19
it for 48 hours like in it I
5:21
don't want to imagine toilet and we live
5:24
streamed without sound just us so people This
5:28
morning a woman in China got dumped by her
5:30
boyfriend. Yeah and spent the whole weekend in the
5:33
cave No, it's a whole week We
5:38
can't compete with that I love that After
5:42
my own heart Hidden
5:44
file photo of it and I hope it's
5:47
here not just some like stock photo They've got
5:49
because it was like yep. That's what I expected
5:52
Woman in a cave. There's a sad-looking Asian
5:55
Like mid-twenty school and a cave fry with a head
5:57
down and a position that I've been a many times
5:59
in KFC not for a week but when you just
6:02
need to put your face against something cold after you've
6:04
just like dominated the pain with that. This is another
6:06
thing we've discussed recently. I don't eat KFC at all.
6:09
Yeah I find that... ...perifying.
6:12
Oh come on, the phone's off. Sorry it's a new phone
6:14
moment. You gotta work. Anyway look Tim
6:16
we've been dibbling around at the top
6:18
of this thing. Let's crack
6:21
into some content. Okay. Sorry
6:23
a little cough there. How did you enjoy
6:25
the movie? Well we did
6:27
okay today and that's largely due to the fact
6:30
that we've accidentally kind of missed... I
6:32
think it's been about 10 days instead of a
6:34
week. Yeah. So apologies for
6:37
that. That is refreshing though. As a podcaster and
6:39
a viewer that is a refreshing change to come
6:41
in with fresh eyes you know. All it takes
6:43
is a couple days more than the yuj and
6:45
suddenly you're... Then you run into the... This
6:48
is the high and then the low is the turnaround this
6:50
time. It's like it's a
6:52
short week you know. We took notes this
6:54
time and I think we should dive into
6:57
them. The first is that you visited Peter
6:59
Dontay's website yesterday. I've been
7:01
snooping around Peter Dontay's Twitter for a while now.
7:03
It never occurred to me. I can't remember the
7:05
name of the site. It's something weird. He's a
7:07
good kid. He retweets all this sort
7:10
of like... Alternates between
7:12
like retweeting Buddhist proverbs and just heaps
7:14
of shit about weed. Cool.
7:17
And I went to his website and
7:19
like it's a site to behold
7:21
man. He's got all these old sketches. I watched his
7:23
old sketch he did with Nick Swartzin called The Fowler.
7:26
But I think what got me most excited was he's released
7:28
an album of music which is available in iTunes. And
7:31
then also as an add-on he's released
7:33
like six covers. It's free downloads on
7:36
his site. So I downloaded Peter Dontay
7:38
singing Bob Marley's Redemption song. And was
7:40
just marching around the house folding up
7:42
my laundry yesterday. While
7:46
Peter Dontay's just going fucking bananas in
7:48
the background. That's so good.
7:50
Yeah. I mean how is he
7:52
as a singer? How's his voice? Oh he's like just...
7:54
He's alright? He's okay. He's just
7:56
like a dude singing. Shit. But
7:58
It's pretty amazing because I mean we were talking... We want
8:01
to go to L A for the final episode and we'd
8:03
love to hear some sort of name value from the movie.
8:05
yet. American pay the don't as up his bit.
8:07
His East Asia. but the thing is I
8:09
feel like such a positive guy and he
8:12
so entered his Buddhism by the looks of
8:14
things yeah that he might look at our
8:16
project as maybe a touch mean spirited. Last
8:18
comment for this monster Me top that's like
8:20
have often been worried about their about this
8:22
this how podcast than the angle cause they're
8:24
going to be blacklisted from Hollywood Nolan and
8:26
another going to be allowed to be a
8:28
walk on extra a heavy medicine production I
8:30
don't really I don't much care about that
8:32
and. But. Just the fact that
8:34
it as conover. Slightly.
8:36
Negative year or daily thing that really the
8:39
best thing as if you hold. Anything
8:41
up to this level of her that if
8:43
you didn't like any, it doesn't matter what
8:45
you'd watch. The. Have
8:47
used it as you'd like some kind of
8:49
what you do stand up comedy fifty two
8:52
times in a row. Yes is A. Didn't
8:54
have a nice into the podcast deconstructing every
8:56
time yet. as different as night to the
8:58
main. Distributors
9:00
The thing doesn't change year. But
9:03
as I'd like you getting angry that sort
9:06
of the characters today houses that were like
9:08
ridden Selma Hayek. I'm. With
9:10
i Did you for as as a present
9:12
or something I'd say instead of like one the
9:14
prison the last thirty four times put the what
9:17
else could it be a present a pity
9:19
for. I got
9:21
mad at of the party scene when
9:23
coiled that squat robots instruct them fall
9:25
minutes after netgear would do have some
9:27
it out and it's like why am
9:29
I getting make as it's and the
9:31
movie in the movie doesn't change like
9:33
meeting made a that doesn't change and
9:36
is this got a Buddhist listen they're
9:38
actually which is like. As
9:40
oh, what's that Great Christian Proverb
9:42
God give me the yeah' renderings
9:44
to exit the things I cannot
9:46
change. Nice. awkward that. Said.
9:49
As like disguise like and the last one
9:51
as in the wisdom to know the difference
9:53
but it's like by the to a father
9:55
figure was invisible which age specific I regret
9:57
be a government would eighth as like change.
10:00
That you can lead gov the shit he can
10:02
and am hopefully a smart enough to figure out
10:04
the difference between the two. As
10:06
good vibes but I haven't clearly brought.
10:08
they don't have to get pissed off
10:10
at cause vomiting or any don't even
10:12
know the like passes for probably every
10:14
certain segments wow that say But like
10:16
I understand the spurs of it. And.
10:19
I'm. So. What I did
10:21
not like had their there was a weird sense
10:24
of a and like as puzzling as drinking water
10:26
from a really big area is no you'd get
10:28
meeting that Although we both got the tools enough
10:30
right? So sorry about that Sia. Niggling.
10:32
With what's on the I'm our Tastes watches
10:34
position on bass continuity I was that isn't
10:37
kind of boring the at it's a continuity
10:39
arab by did spot another com or it
10:41
and realized noisy the on the bus but
10:43
this boils into something cola. I.
10:46
The fancy will just say as
10:48
ah. Yeah have you been
10:50
who hit the fantasy world of this specific that
10:52
with the like this a shot we cases on
10:54
the right side of the bus and the when
10:57
it goes back to the shot his sitting on
10:59
the left in it's weird because with only one
11:01
left on the bus with talk about up with
11:03
we were talking about this year with his you
11:05
notice of those kids three cylinder buffalo by get
11:07
the schools obvious we're assuming that echoes the delay
11:09
did say my shop exactly with thanks how they
11:12
got cats but site now. What? I'd
11:14
enough. I nod to reconnect. Fuck it,
11:16
I'm going with a as that case.
11:18
He stays on the bus and hides
11:20
under one of the sites and witnesses
11:22
the murder of Next Woodson or the
11:24
attempted murder of. that's what is the
11:26
the grown ups just mucking around for?
11:28
Don't think some self. These. Are
11:30
not good people in one of them
11:32
as dead side by and it's always
11:34
best friends. That's. Pretty scary.
11:37
And. The Iraq in case he stays on the
11:39
buses. they go for the joyride. I quite like that
11:41
I made the was duel a few we're trying create
11:43
a few alternate realities for the film. The other one
11:45
was the first one of them until that he tells
11:47
Sub Hyatt to open the window the the Deer in
11:50
the House. I. Don't quite know why he things
11:52
are going to solve. The problem is I county. What
11:59
if some? I. opens the window
12:01
and the deer just runs straight through the bedroom.
12:03
And that would be the ideal, like that would
12:05
be the best. Well I guess that's what he's
12:08
going for. He jumps out of the window and
12:10
breaks both of its front legs on the lawn
12:12
and then the whole movie is just Adam Sandler
12:14
and his family dealing with this really fucked up
12:17
deer which is still alive but presumably immobile and
12:19
in a lot of pain. You know what Adam
12:21
Sandler Murphy would be called? What? My
12:23
dear wife. And
12:26
he has to marry... yeah. He falls in
12:28
love with the deer or something and has
12:30
to marry the deer. Yeah because he nurses
12:32
it back to health eventually and plastic castles
12:34
and stuff. But honestly dealing with a full
12:36
grown adult deer, this thing is enormous. Dealing
12:39
with that with broken limbs at the front of your
12:42
yawn in suburban Connecticut would be a fucking trip dude.
12:44
That would be too real bro. Imagine this is not
12:46
a good day. You see it jump out and you're
12:48
like, oh my god thank god the deer's gone out
12:50
of the room. You hear the crack, you hear the
12:53
deer's crying pain. You're like, oh shit.
12:55
And you run downstairs, you're confronted by the
12:57
full grown a majestic
12:59
beast here on god's green earth. Just
13:02
like wincing and screaming. And it
13:04
was flapping. It
13:06
would be flapping its front body but
13:08
its legs are broken so it can't
13:10
bleed out. It wouldn't necessarily have any
13:12
laceration. And I mean, you know,
13:15
that would lead to arteries bleeding out or anything. So
13:17
it would just be there busted up. And because it's
13:19
so hot. Can you imagine how traumatic that would be
13:21
for the kids? Or is it
13:24
daughter? Becky. My god Becky. You need
13:26
to see a therapist after that for years.
13:28
You can even trust your father again. Probably
13:31
like relationship issues after that. Well,
13:33
I mean, what could have been really, isn't it?
13:35
That's the situation we walked into there. It would
13:37
be an interesting fucking
13:40
movie and probably one that I'd prefer. Hey,
13:42
there's one thing that we've talked about a
13:45
lot, just you and I guide while the
13:47
movies. And this happens a lot. We talk about something while the
13:49
movie's playing but then we kind of forget to get to it
13:51
in the podcast. And for about 10
13:53
weeks now we've noticed that
13:55
Lemonsoft claims a victory, which he does
13:57
not earn. Yes, of course.
14:00
So in the fictional TV show within the
14:02
movie which is the soap opera... No, it
14:04
is a few days of our lives. They
14:06
got naming rights to days of our lives.
14:08
Oh, okay. But the actual act was obviously
14:10
correct. Chris Berman, a sportscaster for ESPN, go
14:12
you Broncos. Go Broncos. And in it... I
14:16
got Demerius Thomas on my fantasy team.
14:18
He's bloody blitzing it mate. He pulled in two touchdowns
14:20
the last two games. He single-handedly dragging me back into
14:22
playoff contention. Yeah, all of that. See, this is why
14:25
we've got such a big American audience. He's following the
14:27
NFL. He's such a big fan of lacrosse. We'll get
14:29
to that. We'll get to that. Calm
14:31
down. Calm down. Just anyway.
14:33
Ball of energy. In
14:36
the movie, Eric Laminsoft, we're
14:38
introduced to him, I think, the first sequence we see
14:40
of him is with his mum. He's just exiting and
14:42
she says, are you going to come
14:44
back and watch Days of Our Lives later on? Which
14:48
twin murdered Ronaldo. And then
14:50
he goes back to the house and we see a snippet
14:52
from Days of Our Lives. He's watching it with his mother
14:55
and Ronaldo walks into the room and
14:57
the nurses say, it couldn't be. We
14:59
killed you. And he goes, do you honestly
15:02
think two amateurish nitwits could kill the great
15:04
Ronaldo? And then Kevin James says,
15:06
I told you so. I called it. He
15:08
says, I called it. Come on,
15:10
Tim. You got to learn these lines, mate. No. She
15:12
says that. He says I told you so. You
15:15
did? You called it. Oh, God.
15:17
You called me. Yeah, I did. Anyway,
15:19
but that's not what he called at all. It isn't. He
15:21
clearly thought that one of the twins... And Ronaldo
15:23
was dead. Unless at some point in his action-packed
15:26
warning between joyriding on the bus and going to
15:28
Kmart, he called his mum and he'd come up
15:30
with this theory he'd been ruminating on it. Fuck,
15:32
that's intense. And he said, Mum,
15:35
I don't think Ronaldo got murdered. I think the
15:37
twins conspired to try and kill him, but he
15:39
evaded death somehow. And he's doing a lot of
15:41
stuff. And he'll reemerge in this episode. And there
15:43
was even a deleted scene that takes up even
15:45
more time of him buying a frozen pretzel when
15:47
he came out. Which is actually kind
15:49
of a funny scene. I thought it was funny.
15:52
No, but the thing is, I think with the deleted scenes,
15:54
that we watched them and they were a breath of fresh
15:56
air from the stale meal that we're getting out of. Served
16:00
up. We have to scan a weakness renegade
16:02
of right now you dirty for. Hey
16:10
everyone, I've been on the go
16:12
recently: Phoenix, Kansas, City, Chicago. If
16:14
you're like me and have a
16:16
home but are always at home,
16:18
you have an Air B and
16:20
posting your home or a spare
16:23
room is a very practical side
16:25
hustle. If you live in a
16:27
big game town, you can air
16:29
Bnb your place for fans to
16:31
stay in. your home might be
16:33
worth more than you and I
16:35
doubt how much. And Air B
16:37
and B.com/ So
16:43
it's a Stone Cold Steve
16:45
Austin portraying Tommy Cavan. I
16:47
L. Ron intake honest. To.
16:49
The films like all the among equally to
16:51
have occurred to them in pigments of l
16:54
a lot of an integral yeah he is
16:56
but yes as Kevlar. I
16:58
witnessed is like a relationship to and
17:00
into it. He has it's it's it's
17:02
my shiny by the someplace.like cold Steve
17:04
Austin. Start saying the Woods Sack of
17:07
potatoes sec potatoes is it Eat. He.
17:09
Would have these are you like eat lamy
17:11
one on the channel go down like a
17:13
thing that I said his in southern drawl
17:15
ah man has to as exists takes a
17:17
nice dessert is a sin is so good
17:20
when he says sack of potatoes at so
17:22
awesome. A fuck in the lobby you
17:24
do if you what is running like. This rich
17:26
guy. Was. Just trying to think what
17:28
a night I cannot one hundred and formulas
17:30
completely avoided me since welcome back to it
17:32
I did enjoy for me read really drawing
17:34
of here before when the on the at
17:36
the quarry on the clifftop. And
17:39
they don't smack talk like it's title and his crew
17:41
visits and his crew and David Spade. they doesn't answer
17:43
and then he turns the biggest. rivals
17:46
his tongue and phone on earth are you
17:49
the chance fingers i feel that was pretty
17:51
funny the dazzle edler from david spade which
17:53
is funny because they a blood from david
17:56
spade is really similar to the bus driver
17:58
one from adam sandler But Sandler's
18:00
one we detest for its laziness. So
18:02
are we really double-standersing the boys? It's possible,
18:04
but no, Sandler's doesn't make a noise and
18:07
it's also the focal point of the shot.
18:09
David Spades is an easter egg that he's
18:11
tucked in there. That's
18:13
true. This brings
18:15
me to an interesting point because for about the
18:18
last dozen watches or so, I've
18:20
experienced this weird thing with the movie now
18:22
where I physically can't pay attention
18:24
to what it's in focus. You told me about this.
18:27
And I can only look at
18:29
the background now, so like extras
18:31
or set, whatever. And
18:35
I don't really have anything to extrapolate on
18:37
that, but it's just an interesting phenomenon that if
18:39
you watch a movie enough times, and
18:42
I assume this is probably the same if you study a great
18:44
piece of art for long enough, you
18:46
actually can't draw your eye to what's in
18:48
focus anymore. You're
18:50
always so attracted by trying to find a new
18:52
element. Well, I don't think you're attracted to find
18:54
a new element. I think it's pure escapism, plain
18:57
and simple. I think you're just trying
18:59
to somehow climb through the action of
19:01
the movie and into another world in
19:03
which maybe you're following different characters. This
19:06
is why we've been speculating all
19:08
morning. I've got such a terrible
19:11
attention span. It's probably some sort
19:13
of neurological survival mechanism for
19:15
me. It's amazing what
19:17
the mind does when you put it under pressure.
19:21
The brain will always try and look out for
19:23
its best interest. It's
19:25
not always the best at doing it. I was
19:27
having a discussion with someone recently about adrenaline. You
19:30
get on stage as well sometimes when you're in
19:32
a do or die moment and you have to
19:35
act very quickly, and you feel like time slows
19:37
down. You have that sort
19:39
of feeling of suddenly everything and you're seeing
19:41
clear focus. That's not
19:43
your brain moving quicker. That's your
19:45
brain shutting down every
19:49
unnecessary extra bit that you're concerned with.
19:52
That's your brain literally just limiting your
19:54
capacity to think to specifically that one
19:56
thing that's confronting you in that moment.
19:59
That is awesome. I'm living
20:01
with two doctors at the moment so I'm learning
20:03
a lot about like the different parts of the
20:05
brain like the reptilian brain and how that fucking
20:07
does... Are you going to imagine that
20:09
shit would be sending you spinning in circles? Oh I love
20:12
it, I love it. Okay look back to the podcast. Oh
20:14
yeah. It's time for... Manish warts,
20:16
party time, it's Manish warts,
20:19
party time, it's
20:21
party time, with Manish
20:23
warts. Now Patrick Schwartzmaker does
20:25
something very funny in the movie today. I assume he's
20:27
been doing it in the rest of the movies,
20:31
not all the movies he's been in. I'm confident. He's
20:33
another guy who I've been sniffing around Patty Schwartz on
20:36
Twitter. I even checked him a retweet the other day. Just
20:39
trying to raise some awareness with Patty Schwartz. Imagine
20:41
if we sat down and watched a movie with
20:43
Patty Schwartz man. Fuck. He's
20:46
another guy, now he's a Christian guy. So
20:48
he's another guy who I think might look at this as being
20:50
a mean spirited project. I'd say so. It
20:52
wouldn't surprise me if Ani was a Christian. It's
20:54
quite a prominent figure in Republican politics, Ani. So
20:56
it would... You'd go hand in hand. Yeah. Anyway,
20:59
so... Wait a minute, isn't he a Democrat?
21:01
Maria Shriver was in the Kennedy's. Nah, he must
21:03
be Democrat. What am I talking about? Fuck,
21:06
I'm going to Google that later. Oh god, it's
21:08
going to be an exciting afternoon in the world of Timbatt.
21:11
Patrick Schwartzmaker cocks an eyebrow in one of the
21:13
scenes. Like, it sort of is just... And
21:16
I believe the reason he did it, because it's not really
21:18
in place. There's no place for him to cock an eyebrow.
21:20
It's just because when he applied for the job, and
21:22
don't get this twisted, he's just took his CV in and
21:24
applied for the job. Underneath
21:26
the heading, Acting Skills, one of them
21:29
said, Can raise eyebrow on demand. And
21:31
now the director, there was no call
21:33
for this movement while shooting, but Patrick
21:36
Schwartzmaker thought, look, I got hired
21:38
for this job, not on my name, but on
21:40
the back of my fully sick acting CV, and
21:42
I'll be damned if I'm not going to squeeze
21:44
every single skill I have into this film. And
21:47
accordingly, he cocked his eyebrow, and that is
21:49
how Patty Schwartz parties. Good
21:52
on you, guy. I
21:55
like that reading of his personality,
21:57
because he still strikes me
21:59
as a guy who... who is trying really hard,
22:01
and they're my favorite people. People who aren't necessarily
22:03
the most talented, but they're fucking hard workers, you
22:05
know? Yeah, you gotta respect a hard worker. When
22:08
I was younger, I always thought, for
22:12
me it took a while, I was always quite lazy,
22:14
because I was naturally okay enough
22:16
at things to just get by without actually really putting
22:19
in the effort. And I always
22:21
thought that eventually, if you just do that, good
22:23
things will arrive. Well, if you try
22:25
or if you just lazy around. Like it's just
22:27
opportunity will fall into your lap. That's
22:30
terrible. The universe has reinforced the worst
22:32
elements of your white privilege. No, no,
22:34
no, well, this is the thing. I
22:37
got a handle on it, because you're absolutely right. But
22:39
then I was like, nothing was happening. And I
22:41
was like, ah, you gotta try all the time.
22:44
And then like, it's like the switch, and suddenly,
22:46
when I look at people who tried hard, I'd
22:48
be like, you should try less hard, and we
22:50
should hang out. I was like, ah, you gotta
22:52
try hard at everything. Little
22:54
life lessons go more government. I dig that. Make
22:58
that tangent. Try hard. Conan O'Brien said a
23:00
good thing about it. When
23:02
he got booted off the J-Leno, the Tonight Show
23:04
with J-Leno. Yeah. Work hard,
23:06
or maybe it was a bloody graduation speech
23:09
at Stanford or something. Work hard, be kind
23:11
to people, and amazing things will
23:13
happen. That's what Conan O'Brien says. Did he in
23:15
that speech have a bit about how he talked
23:17
about being nice to people, because you
23:19
never know who you'll end up working for, or who
23:21
you'll be involved? I think so. Was that? It was
23:23
insane. I think it was a commencement speech, because he
23:25
did a big, he just ratted off a shit ton
23:27
of jokes boom,
23:30
and some truth. Yeah, I remember being in one
23:32
of those, what are those hats called? The
23:35
graduation caps? Hat, the square
23:37
boards, the hat. They've got a name. University
23:39
hat. It's definitely got
23:41
a name. Don't forget your university hat.
23:43
You're graduating today. Speaking
23:46
of university, lacrosse.
23:48
We've never really talked about this, but the
23:51
college kids, the freight board. They show up
23:53
to the... They show up, and actually in
23:55
the car as well, one of them's carrying
23:57
a lacrosse. What's the terminology for a racquet?
23:59
Yeah, I'd call it a stick. Stick. I don't
24:02
know the proper terminology. But you would tell like-
24:04
You'd do some damage in a fight with a
24:06
lacrosse stick, by the way. I don't know how
24:08
they were using those more. I mean, it was
24:10
an out and out fight. We had an
24:12
exchange student when I went to high school
24:15
in Wellington who was from America. And he
24:17
kind of brought a bit of lacrosse in.
24:20
And so we got nets and shit with sticks
24:22
or whatever they called. And we played a little
24:24
bit. But just like, I think we start off
24:27
with tennis balls because if you use the full ball and
24:29
you fuck up, it will hurt.
24:31
It's quite an amazing game. It's a hard ball, is it?
24:34
Yeah, I think so. It's kind of like a- I
24:36
think you use a similar one to like a field
24:38
hockey. You know how it- Oh, that is hard. Yeah.
24:40
It's a place that's super hard. That sounds insane. Yeah,
24:43
but you've got to get distance. That's the thing. If
24:45
it was any softer, it wouldn't have the weight to
24:47
carry it. It's a fully six sport. It's pretty cool.
24:49
I've seen it on ESPN. They play in college. And
24:51
they- Oh, huge. I don't know why
24:53
it doesn't translate to a professional sport. It's like,
24:56
it's ruthless, bro. You're running around and it's highly
24:58
skilled. You're running around with the stick and this
25:00
ball just fucking throwing and catching and
25:02
just clearing dudes out. I think it's
25:04
real massive in certain circles, but I
25:06
think it's got the stigma of being
25:08
associated with real rich white college sport.
25:10
Is it? Yeah. Is it like a
25:12
collegiate sport? Yeah,
25:14
very much so. Which strangely is how
25:17
rugby is treated in England. Because here
25:19
in New Zealand, we- It's like everyone's
25:21
sport. It's very- It's everyone's sport. Yeah,
25:23
yeah. And in- Rugby, rugby sure is
25:25
popular here in New Zealand. We do love it.
25:28
No one else loves rugby, bro. Just us.
25:32
No one else loves it like us. South Africa
25:34
might. I haven't been. No. They love rugby. Don't
25:37
get it. Like they sell out Alice Park when
25:40
the Springboks come. That's true, actually. They do love
25:42
rugby. But like- Australians do not. Australians
25:44
at about number four or five. England it
25:46
would be about four. America, it
25:48
doesn't even- America is not four. All
25:50
the acts are playing a game in Chicago.
25:52
And I watched the trailer video for it.
25:54
Fuck Americans, ramp up sports to a million.
25:58
They put in just these insane like- Movie
26:00
and television production values to the match
26:02
up. The Eagles, all Blacks and like
26:05
fucking a shot of the skyline and
26:07
bloody. Bit. Man driving his motorbike or
26:09
something. No wonder the whole country's I the
26:11
day I go to school. So much like
26:13
production everywhere for everything is highly produce one
26:15
going to move their de nada zip bleeding
26:17
into sports coverage in Australia, New Zealand as
26:19
well. I yeah could like all the built
26:21
on, all the build up, all the hype,
26:23
the pomp and ceremony around sports games is
26:25
just getting out of hand. Now.
26:27
We're getting them is because in the game. But.
26:31
Since been a rambling pagans it's do that
26:33
one of those arena account. a lot of
26:35
ground yet been real change of pace I
26:37
think. oh yes something out on of the
26:39
sir I'm pretty sure it's shirts. I.
26:42
Think America stole holds
26:45
the on the like.
26:47
The Most recent Rugby
26:49
Olympic Championship. That. Us
26:51
to the and like very early nineteen hundreds, nine thirty
26:54
or some shit. no way that even know why your
26:56
plate for the last day when. I
26:58
will look I got no don't look it up
27:00
with know to sing not and I were going
27:02
around the south we're going to the Cbc Miss
27:05
Utah. This. Division A mystery tour
27:07
is coming to take you away. Coming
27:09
to take you away to you take
27:11
you away. Ah Jonah or do I
27:13
want to I would come up with
27:15
one from Heavy Her Huck. I have
27:17
another excellent to the on and I
27:19
case of the Cbc mystery tour as
27:21
the Sigma the movie in which we
27:23
explore what injury could have possibly cause
27:25
the symptoms described by Steve Buscemi or
27:27
Wiley and grownups to fix were given
27:29
as he only has put him in
27:31
filling his body and his arms have
27:33
been and he touched them position. For
27:36
two years. Ah. I
27:39
think what happened son as cbc
27:41
me was riding. A. Penny
27:43
farthing out where those silly old bicycles
27:45
of the big front wheel and the
27:47
low back wheel. Which. Is this one
27:50
of my favorite parts of Jackass is like
27:52
Ryan Dunn flight who design as if I
27:54
could have a child? Who the fuck designed
27:56
a penny farthing? A gotta cross the line
27:58
It is insane. See
28:01
how high they are just make a bike
28:03
with for him to the so close we
28:05
were both easy isn't something to do with
28:07
like the cogs and things like that, the
28:09
amount of work light in the physics, the
28:11
stuff that's going on the to do with
28:13
the Vig at one will as begun. Ones
28:15
little they produce might be right by me
28:17
too. I just seems like what is no
28:19
new thing and a regular bike though I
28:21
know I don't either maternal the have someone
28:23
did look at their and go you need
28:25
to make their front wheel smaller and that
28:27
bet we'll bigger and or be perfect anyway.
28:30
So Cbc. Me was showing off to
28:32
Chris Rock and the gang on is
28:34
Penny Farthing. Riding around
28:36
and him center for real or is it
28:38
digital as hooper we have an exact same
28:40
conversation with his head and in chris rock
28:42
as hey what's this and he picks up
28:45
a stick and he runs across and he
28:47
puts the stick into the spikes the front
28:49
tire wine dbc me go tumbling over the
28:51
handlebars and lands are with his arms and
28:54
explains the arms above the hid he lenses
28:56
arms above take these flailing because we all
28:58
night of bed jumpers from the quarry there
29:00
are and. I. Guess that's that's
29:02
I haven't decided. Penny Farthing. The
29:04
Penny farthing. Accidents. The
29:07
last sixty three of them, lot of the you
29:09
want to elaborate on to why. While he was
29:11
on a penny farthing, the faceless know ah, because
29:14
he ah he left after high school where he's
29:16
hit bullied by the Bath high school he lived
29:18
in. Join the circus. I pick about certain skills.
29:20
hey we're now when he received them. He wants
29:22
to show off a one of the South Pacific.
29:25
He's got the look of a county. Specially.
29:27
In this film and I was six
29:29
years off, the other was correct. That
29:31
was Nineteen Twenty Four when the last
29:33
summer to the way that kind of
29:35
rugby union within. The
29:38
the thing that our At does, we're
29:40
not looking it up again by a
29:42
damn And the Us One goals and
29:44
they and it's never been near again.
29:46
I'm every capital of s ignorance. Demeanor.
29:48
we got the shining lights the pace with
29:51
python the cbc was return again i wouldn't
29:53
unfreeze upon everyone the an opportunity importance and
29:55
our love for you sitting in a little
29:57
self they have selfless to the podcast. Just
29:59
because I'm bored man, I want to see
30:01
your pretty faces. I'm just curious about where
30:04
and when people are, like people might be
30:06
doing this when they're going grocery shopping. Yeah.
30:09
I mean... If you can't be bothered liking your face but... Do
30:11
you think anyone's ever made love to the
30:13
dulcet sound of the worst idea of all time? That's
30:15
something Matt used to say all the time. He said,
30:18
Matt who I used to produce for on a radio
30:20
show the last couple of years, he was like, he
30:22
would always say, it'd
30:24
be like good afternoon wherever you're listening
30:26
if you're making love to the partner
30:29
of your choice. That is so
30:31
good. I really hope that someone has had sex. That's
30:33
more likely because you have the radio in the background.
30:35
Oh you could have this one in the background and
30:37
someone... You could have like a little... If you have
30:39
had sex while listening to the podcast, give us a
30:41
yell and we'll give you a shout-in next week. No,
30:43
we don't need a photo of that. We don't need
30:45
a photo of that. In fact, I'm going to go
30:47
so far as to say don't send us a photo
30:49
of that. No selfies of that. Because that's not the
30:51
angle we're taking with this. It's more
30:53
of a curiosity really. It is vanity isn't
30:55
it? Yeah. It's the whole thing of vanity projects.
30:58
Sure is. It's over for this episode.
31:00
Thanks for joining us. If you can't be
31:02
bothered going to the Facebook page, just click it on the
31:04
Twitter. He's
31:06
Guy underscore Mont. So
31:09
G-U-Y underscore M-O-N-T and I'm Tim
31:11
underscore Bat. You're clogged up. That
31:13
sounds terrible. Yeah, he's a real
31:15
nasal. Right. Time to bail.
31:18
Or what? Oh pirate yes there are things. Oh pirate yes
31:20
there are things. Oh pirate yes there are things. Oh pirate yes
31:22
there are things. Oh pirate yes there are things. Oh pirate yes there
31:24
are things. Oh pirate yes there are things. Oh
31:56
pirate yes there are things. Are
32:01
these songs of freedom? Cause
32:04
they're all I ever had. Redemption
32:10
song.
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