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Replay S01E35: Bathroom

Replay S01E35: Bathroom

Released Tuesday, 19th March 2024
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Replay S01E35: Bathroom

Replay S01E35: Bathroom

Replay S01E35: Bathroom

Replay S01E35: Bathroom

Tuesday, 19th March 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. At Mint Mobile, we

0:02

like to do the opposite of what Big

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Wireless does. They charge you a lot, we

0:07

charge you a little. So naturally, when they

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inflation, we decided to deflate our prices due

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month to just $15 a month. Give

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it a try at mintmobile.com. $45

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0:27

customers for a limited time. Unlimited more than 40GB per month. Mint Slows.

0:29

Full terms at mintmobile.com. Here

0:33

we are. The boys are in

0:35

stride in this episode. That's how

0:37

I look at it. Hot

0:40

off of listening to episode 35 myself,

0:43

the episode which awaits you in

0:45

mere seconds. I like it.

0:47

It's nice to do to

0:50

figure out what they're doing. They know that

0:52

it doesn't mean the earth, but they're having

0:54

fun doing it. This is us

0:56

that, I guess, doing the math really quickly. The

0:58

60 to 70% completion mark. I

1:03

feel like there is an energy

1:05

that the end is somewhat in sight.

1:09

We're a little bit excited, I think, because

1:11

this is when we started getting a few

1:13

listeners coming in from the States and our

1:15

numbers were going pretty good. The

1:19

boys are in a good place in this episode. The

1:22

guys are doing well.

1:25

The movie remains the same. There's a lot

1:28

of treats in this episode. I would invite

1:30

you to listen to the very end because

1:32

there's a pretty great treat right

1:35

in the final bit. It's

1:37

very funny to hear us talking about Patty

1:39

Schwartz as well as these episodes tick by.

1:44

One day, God willing, we will have

1:46

that bear with him. I

1:48

think now his star is on the rise

1:50

so much that I think

1:53

he might exit any possible

1:55

stratosphere that we could hope to

1:57

catch him approaching. our

2:00

realm. I think maybe that possibility has

2:03

disappeared. But that's alright. We

2:05

don't fucking need him. We've got him

2:07

tattooed on our bodies. He's with us

2:09

wherever we go until we

2:12

die. Anyway, enjoy this

2:14

episode. It's fun, it's nice, it's a good

2:16

one. And

2:34

then what was the one that was called

2:36

the Mexican Hat Dance and Nokia's Play That

2:51

or have we already done that one? What was that

2:53

one? I couldn't tell you. I

2:56

can't remember. Hello and welcome to the

2:58

worst idea of all time. Episode number

3:00

35. Slightly unorthodox introduction for what was

3:03

a very orthodox watch of the movie.

3:05

Just Tim and I, middle of

3:07

the day, lounging about. I'm in shorts.

3:09

Just wadding around. You look good. I said that as

3:11

soon as I opened the door and you were there.

3:13

Yeah, and your bed is coming along nicely. Thanks. And

3:15

I think we should address this right at the top.

3:18

Tim and I were just talking about it. What we

3:20

would love to see from you is more

3:22

selfies wherever you're listening to the podcast. Hard

3:25

out people. We find it really interesting to

3:27

know that people are like listening to this while

3:29

they go about their lives. I don't mind that

3:32

anyone's listening at all, to be honest. There's a

3:34

friend of one of my flatmates came in and

3:36

she listened to the podcast completely independently of knowing

3:38

him. He didn't even put her onto it. She

3:40

just listened. It's amazing. It's even more amazing that

3:42

there are people in America who listen to this.

3:45

I love to expect that. A guy posted on

3:49

the Facebook page saying, I'm starting to think in a

3:51

Kiwi accent because he's been listening to the podcast so

3:53

much. Oh shit. I love that. That must be confusing.

3:55

We don't pop up enough content for that to

3:57

happen though. Maybe we need to do a podcast

4:00

every. Just start cranking it. Every day mate. I

4:02

could watch it. I'm in such a good mood

4:04

right now I could watch this movie. No, I'm

4:06

not gonna say anything stupid, but I could watch

4:08

this movie another 15 times or whatever What

4:12

today? No, I just I have been thinking that for

4:14

one of them We could do like a charity drive

4:16

where we lock ourselves into a room for 48 hours

4:19

And the movie's just on repeat so we can

4:21

we can do other things No,

4:23

we're in a room. It's just us.

4:26

So like no technology. So it's on.

4:28

Yeah No technology. So

4:30

it's actually not a before that would actually

4:32

that would You

4:35

come back round to my idea for the

4:37

bathtub special To grown men

4:39

in a lukewarm bath on the stage watching

4:41

grown-ups, too There's a way more nightmarish version

4:43

of it And by the way,

4:45

if this is the first episode that you've

4:47

come in for some reason This is a

4:49

podcast in which myself and Guy Montgomery. I'm

4:51

Tim that we're going Montgomery We watched the

4:53

movie grown-ups to once a week every week

4:56

for a whole year We kind of review it

4:58

afterwards. This is episode 35 with us You

5:03

sure? No, I'm really not not important. Pretty

5:05

sure what are the time time

5:07

is but a construct of man Exactly and

5:09

one that I am fast losing my grip

5:12

on. Absolutely. Uh, so I mean It

5:15

was just like it was just it was

5:17

just but imagine that imagine if we did

5:19

it for 48 hours like in it I

5:21

don't want to imagine toilet and we live

5:24

streamed without sound just us so people This

5:28

morning a woman in China got dumped by her

5:30

boyfriend. Yeah and spent the whole weekend in the

5:33

cave No, it's a whole week We

5:38

can't compete with that I love that After

5:42

my own heart Hidden

5:44

file photo of it and I hope it's

5:47

here not just some like stock photo They've got

5:49

because it was like yep. That's what I expected

5:52

Woman in a cave. There's a sad-looking Asian

5:55

Like mid-twenty school and a cave fry with a head

5:57

down and a position that I've been a many times

5:59

in KFC not for a week but when you just

6:02

need to put your face against something cold after you've

6:04

just like dominated the pain with that. This is another

6:06

thing we've discussed recently. I don't eat KFC at all.

6:09

Yeah I find that... ...perifying.

6:12

Oh come on, the phone's off. Sorry it's a new phone

6:14

moment. You gotta work. Anyway look Tim

6:16

we've been dibbling around at the top

6:18

of this thing. Let's crack

6:21

into some content. Okay. Sorry

6:23

a little cough there. How did you enjoy

6:25

the movie? Well we did

6:27

okay today and that's largely due to the fact

6:30

that we've accidentally kind of missed... I

6:32

think it's been about 10 days instead of a

6:34

week. Yeah. So apologies for

6:37

that. That is refreshing though. As a podcaster and

6:39

a viewer that is a refreshing change to come

6:41

in with fresh eyes you know. All it takes

6:43

is a couple days more than the yuj and

6:45

suddenly you're... Then you run into the... This

6:48

is the high and then the low is the turnaround this

6:50

time. It's like it's a

6:52

short week you know. We took notes this

6:54

time and I think we should dive into

6:57

them. The first is that you visited Peter

6:59

Dontay's website yesterday. I've been

7:01

snooping around Peter Dontay's Twitter for a while now.

7:03

It never occurred to me. I can't remember the

7:05

name of the site. It's something weird. He's a

7:07

good kid. He retweets all this sort

7:10

of like... Alternates between

7:12

like retweeting Buddhist proverbs and just heaps

7:14

of shit about weed. Cool.

7:17

And I went to his website and

7:19

like it's a site to behold

7:21

man. He's got all these old sketches. I watched his

7:23

old sketch he did with Nick Swartzin called The Fowler.

7:26

But I think what got me most excited was he's released

7:28

an album of music which is available in iTunes. And

7:31

then also as an add-on he's released

7:33

like six covers. It's free downloads on

7:36

his site. So I downloaded Peter Dontay

7:38

singing Bob Marley's Redemption song. And was

7:40

just marching around the house folding up

7:42

my laundry yesterday. While

7:46

Peter Dontay's just going fucking bananas in

7:48

the background. That's so good.

7:50

Yeah. I mean how is he

7:52

as a singer? How's his voice? Oh he's like just...

7:54

He's alright? He's okay. He's just

7:56

like a dude singing. Shit. But

7:58

It's pretty amazing because I mean we were talking... We want

8:01

to go to L A for the final episode and we'd

8:03

love to hear some sort of name value from the movie.

8:05

yet. American pay the don't as up his bit.

8:07

His East Asia. but the thing is I

8:09

feel like such a positive guy and he

8:12

so entered his Buddhism by the looks of

8:14

things yeah that he might look at our

8:16

project as maybe a touch mean spirited. Last

8:18

comment for this monster Me top that's like

8:20

have often been worried about their about this

8:22

this how podcast than the angle cause they're

8:24

going to be blacklisted from Hollywood Nolan and

8:26

another going to be allowed to be a

8:28

walk on extra a heavy medicine production I

8:30

don't really I don't much care about that

8:32

and. But. Just the fact that

8:34

it as conover. Slightly.

8:36

Negative year or daily thing that really the

8:39

best thing as if you hold. Anything

8:41

up to this level of her that if

8:43

you didn't like any, it doesn't matter what

8:45

you'd watch. The. Have

8:47

used it as you'd like some kind of

8:49

what you do stand up comedy fifty two

8:52

times in a row. Yes is A. Didn't

8:54

have a nice into the podcast deconstructing every

8:56

time yet. as different as night to the

8:58

main. Distributors

9:00

The thing doesn't change year. But

9:03

as I'd like you getting angry that sort

9:06

of the characters today houses that were like

9:08

ridden Selma Hayek. I'm. With

9:10

i Did you for as as a present

9:12

or something I'd say instead of like one the

9:14

prison the last thirty four times put the what

9:17

else could it be a present a pity

9:19

for. I got

9:21

mad at of the party scene when

9:23

coiled that squat robots instruct them fall

9:25

minutes after netgear would do have some

9:27

it out and it's like why am

9:29

I getting make as it's and the

9:31

movie in the movie doesn't change like

9:33

meeting made a that doesn't change and

9:36

is this got a Buddhist listen they're

9:38

actually which is like. As

9:40

oh, what's that Great Christian Proverb

9:42

God give me the yeah' renderings

9:44

to exit the things I cannot

9:46

change. Nice. awkward that. Said.

9:49

As like disguise like and the last one

9:51

as in the wisdom to know the difference

9:53

but it's like by the to a father

9:55

figure was invisible which age specific I regret

9:57

be a government would eighth as like change.

10:00

That you can lead gov the shit he can

10:02

and am hopefully a smart enough to figure out

10:04

the difference between the two. As

10:06

good vibes but I haven't clearly brought.

10:08

they don't have to get pissed off

10:10

at cause vomiting or any don't even

10:12

know the like passes for probably every

10:14

certain segments wow that say But like

10:16

I understand the spurs of it. And.

10:19

I'm. So. What I did

10:21

not like had their there was a weird sense

10:24

of a and like as puzzling as drinking water

10:26

from a really big area is no you'd get

10:28

meeting that Although we both got the tools enough

10:30

right? So sorry about that Sia. Niggling.

10:32

With what's on the I'm our Tastes watches

10:34

position on bass continuity I was that isn't

10:37

kind of boring the at it's a continuity

10:39

arab by did spot another com or it

10:41

and realized noisy the on the bus but

10:43

this boils into something cola. I.

10:46

The fancy will just say as

10:48

ah. Yeah have you been

10:50

who hit the fantasy world of this specific that

10:52

with the like this a shot we cases on

10:54

the right side of the bus and the when

10:57

it goes back to the shot his sitting on

10:59

the left in it's weird because with only one

11:01

left on the bus with talk about up with

11:03

we were talking about this year with his you

11:05

notice of those kids three cylinder buffalo by get

11:07

the schools obvious we're assuming that echoes the delay

11:09

did say my shop exactly with thanks how they

11:12

got cats but site now. What? I'd

11:14

enough. I nod to reconnect. Fuck it,

11:16

I'm going with a as that case.

11:18

He stays on the bus and hides

11:20

under one of the sites and witnesses

11:22

the murder of Next Woodson or the

11:24

attempted murder of. that's what is the

11:26

the grown ups just mucking around for?

11:28

Don't think some self. These. Are

11:30

not good people in one of them

11:32

as dead side by and it's always

11:34

best friends. That's. Pretty scary.

11:37

And. The Iraq in case he stays on the

11:39

buses. they go for the joyride. I quite like that

11:41

I made the was duel a few we're trying create

11:43

a few alternate realities for the film. The other one

11:45

was the first one of them until that he tells

11:47

Sub Hyatt to open the window the the Deer in

11:50

the House. I. Don't quite know why he things

11:52

are going to solve. The problem is I county. What

11:59

if some? I. opens the window

12:01

and the deer just runs straight through the bedroom.

12:03

And that would be the ideal, like that would

12:05

be the best. Well I guess that's what he's

12:08

going for. He jumps out of the window and

12:10

breaks both of its front legs on the lawn

12:12

and then the whole movie is just Adam Sandler

12:14

and his family dealing with this really fucked up

12:17

deer which is still alive but presumably immobile and

12:19

in a lot of pain. You know what Adam

12:21

Sandler Murphy would be called? What? My

12:23

dear wife. And

12:26

he has to marry... yeah. He falls in

12:28

love with the deer or something and has

12:30

to marry the deer. Yeah because he nurses

12:32

it back to health eventually and plastic castles

12:34

and stuff. But honestly dealing with a full

12:36

grown adult deer, this thing is enormous. Dealing

12:39

with that with broken limbs at the front of your

12:42

yawn in suburban Connecticut would be a fucking trip dude.

12:44

That would be too real bro. Imagine this is not

12:46

a good day. You see it jump out and you're

12:48

like, oh my god thank god the deer's gone out

12:50

of the room. You hear the crack, you hear the

12:53

deer's crying pain. You're like, oh shit.

12:55

And you run downstairs, you're confronted by the

12:57

full grown a majestic

12:59

beast here on god's green earth. Just

13:02

like wincing and screaming. And it

13:04

was flapping. It

13:06

would be flapping its front body but

13:08

its legs are broken so it can't

13:10

bleed out. It wouldn't necessarily have any

13:12

laceration. And I mean, you know,

13:15

that would lead to arteries bleeding out or anything. So

13:17

it would just be there busted up. And because it's

13:19

so hot. Can you imagine how traumatic that would be

13:21

for the kids? Or is it

13:24

daughter? Becky. My god Becky. You need

13:26

to see a therapist after that for years.

13:28

You can even trust your father again. Probably

13:31

like relationship issues after that. Well,

13:33

I mean, what could have been really, isn't it?

13:35

That's the situation we walked into there. It would

13:37

be an interesting fucking

13:40

movie and probably one that I'd prefer. Hey,

13:42

there's one thing that we've talked about a

13:45

lot, just you and I guide while the

13:47

movies. And this happens a lot. We talk about something while the

13:49

movie's playing but then we kind of forget to get to it

13:51

in the podcast. And for about 10

13:53

weeks now we've noticed that

13:55

Lemonsoft claims a victory, which he does

13:57

not earn. Yes, of course.

14:00

So in the fictional TV show within the

14:02

movie which is the soap opera... No, it

14:04

is a few days of our lives. They

14:06

got naming rights to days of our lives.

14:08

Oh, okay. But the actual act was obviously

14:10

correct. Chris Berman, a sportscaster for ESPN, go

14:12

you Broncos. Go Broncos. And in it... I

14:16

got Demerius Thomas on my fantasy team.

14:18

He's bloody blitzing it mate. He pulled in two touchdowns

14:20

the last two games. He single-handedly dragging me back into

14:22

playoff contention. Yeah, all of that. See, this is why

14:25

we've got such a big American audience. He's following the

14:27

NFL. He's such a big fan of lacrosse. We'll get

14:29

to that. We'll get to that. Calm

14:31

down. Calm down. Just anyway.

14:33

Ball of energy. In

14:36

the movie, Eric Laminsoft, we're

14:38

introduced to him, I think, the first sequence we see

14:40

of him is with his mum. He's just exiting and

14:42

she says, are you going to come

14:44

back and watch Days of Our Lives later on? Which

14:48

twin murdered Ronaldo. And then

14:50

he goes back to the house and we see a snippet

14:52

from Days of Our Lives. He's watching it with his mother

14:55

and Ronaldo walks into the room and

14:57

the nurses say, it couldn't be. We

14:59

killed you. And he goes, do you honestly

15:02

think two amateurish nitwits could kill the great

15:04

Ronaldo? And then Kevin James says,

15:06

I told you so. I called it. He

15:08

says, I called it. Come on,

15:10

Tim. You got to learn these lines, mate. No. She

15:12

says that. He says I told you so. You

15:15

did? You called it. Oh, God.

15:17

You called me. Yeah, I did. Anyway,

15:19

but that's not what he called at all. It isn't. He

15:21

clearly thought that one of the twins... And Ronaldo

15:23

was dead. Unless at some point in his action-packed

15:26

warning between joyriding on the bus and going to

15:28

Kmart, he called his mum and he'd come up

15:30

with this theory he'd been ruminating on it. Fuck,

15:32

that's intense. And he said, Mum,

15:35

I don't think Ronaldo got murdered. I think the

15:37

twins conspired to try and kill him, but he

15:39

evaded death somehow. And he's doing a lot of

15:41

stuff. And he'll reemerge in this episode. And there

15:43

was even a deleted scene that takes up even

15:45

more time of him buying a frozen pretzel when

15:47

he came out. Which is actually kind

15:49

of a funny scene. I thought it was funny.

15:52

No, but the thing is, I think with the deleted scenes,

15:54

that we watched them and they were a breath of fresh

15:56

air from the stale meal that we're getting out of. Served

16:00

up. We have to scan a weakness renegade

16:02

of right now you dirty for. Hey

16:10

everyone, I've been on the go

16:12

recently: Phoenix, Kansas, City, Chicago. If

16:14

you're like me and have a

16:16

home but are always at home,

16:18

you have an Air B and

16:20

posting your home or a spare

16:23

room is a very practical side

16:25

hustle. If you live in a

16:27

big game town, you can air

16:29

Bnb your place for fans to

16:31

stay in. your home might be

16:33

worth more than you and I

16:35

doubt how much. And Air B

16:37

and B.com/ So

16:43

it's a Stone Cold Steve

16:45

Austin portraying Tommy Cavan. I

16:47

L. Ron intake honest. To.

16:49

The films like all the among equally to

16:51

have occurred to them in pigments of l

16:54

a lot of an integral yeah he is

16:56

but yes as Kevlar. I

16:58

witnessed is like a relationship to and

17:00

into it. He has it's it's it's

17:02

my shiny by the someplace.like cold Steve

17:04

Austin. Start saying the Woods Sack of

17:07

potatoes sec potatoes is it Eat. He.

17:09

Would have these are you like eat lamy

17:11

one on the channel go down like a

17:13

thing that I said his in southern drawl

17:15

ah man has to as exists takes a

17:17

nice dessert is a sin is so good

17:20

when he says sack of potatoes at so

17:22

awesome. A fuck in the lobby you

17:24

do if you what is running like. This rich

17:26

guy. Was. Just trying to think what

17:28

a night I cannot one hundred and formulas

17:30

completely avoided me since welcome back to it

17:32

I did enjoy for me read really drawing

17:34

of here before when the on the at

17:36

the quarry on the clifftop. And

17:39

they don't smack talk like it's title and his crew

17:41

visits and his crew and David Spade. they doesn't answer

17:43

and then he turns the biggest. rivals

17:46

his tongue and phone on earth are you

17:49

the chance fingers i feel that was pretty

17:51

funny the dazzle edler from david spade which

17:53

is funny because they a blood from david

17:56

spade is really similar to the bus driver

17:58

one from adam sandler But Sandler's

18:00

one we detest for its laziness. So

18:02

are we really double-standersing the boys? It's possible,

18:04

but no, Sandler's doesn't make a noise and

18:07

it's also the focal point of the shot.

18:09

David Spades is an easter egg that he's

18:11

tucked in there. That's

18:13

true. This brings

18:15

me to an interesting point because for about the

18:18

last dozen watches or so, I've

18:20

experienced this weird thing with the movie now

18:22

where I physically can't pay attention

18:24

to what it's in focus. You told me about this.

18:27

And I can only look at

18:29

the background now, so like extras

18:31

or set, whatever. And

18:35

I don't really have anything to extrapolate on

18:37

that, but it's just an interesting phenomenon that if

18:39

you watch a movie enough times, and

18:42

I assume this is probably the same if you study a great

18:44

piece of art for long enough, you

18:46

actually can't draw your eye to what's in

18:48

focus anymore. You're

18:50

always so attracted by trying to find a new

18:52

element. Well, I don't think you're attracted to find

18:54

a new element. I think it's pure escapism, plain

18:57

and simple. I think you're just trying

18:59

to somehow climb through the action of

19:01

the movie and into another world in

19:03

which maybe you're following different characters. This

19:06

is why we've been speculating all

19:08

morning. I've got such a terrible

19:11

attention span. It's probably some sort

19:13

of neurological survival mechanism for

19:15

me. It's amazing what

19:17

the mind does when you put it under pressure.

19:21

The brain will always try and look out for

19:23

its best interest. It's

19:25

not always the best at doing it. I was

19:27

having a discussion with someone recently about adrenaline. You

19:30

get on stage as well sometimes when you're in

19:32

a do or die moment and you have to

19:35

act very quickly, and you feel like time slows

19:37

down. You have that sort

19:39

of feeling of suddenly everything and you're seeing

19:41

clear focus. That's not

19:43

your brain moving quicker. That's your

19:45

brain shutting down every

19:49

unnecessary extra bit that you're concerned with.

19:52

That's your brain literally just limiting your

19:54

capacity to think to specifically that one

19:56

thing that's confronting you in that moment.

19:59

That is awesome. I'm living

20:01

with two doctors at the moment so I'm learning

20:03

a lot about like the different parts of the

20:05

brain like the reptilian brain and how that fucking

20:07

does... Are you going to imagine that

20:09

shit would be sending you spinning in circles? Oh I love

20:12

it, I love it. Okay look back to the podcast. Oh

20:14

yeah. It's time for... Manish warts,

20:16

party time, it's Manish warts,

20:19

party time, it's

20:21

party time, with Manish

20:23

warts. Now Patrick Schwartzmaker does

20:25

something very funny in the movie today. I assume he's

20:27

been doing it in the rest of the movies,

20:31

not all the movies he's been in. I'm confident. He's

20:33

another guy who I've been sniffing around Patty Schwartz on

20:36

Twitter. I even checked him a retweet the other day. Just

20:39

trying to raise some awareness with Patty Schwartz. Imagine

20:41

if we sat down and watched a movie with

20:43

Patty Schwartz man. Fuck. He's

20:46

another guy, now he's a Christian guy. So

20:48

he's another guy who I think might look at this as being

20:50

a mean spirited project. I'd say so. It

20:52

wouldn't surprise me if Ani was a Christian. It's

20:54

quite a prominent figure in Republican politics, Ani. So

20:56

it would... You'd go hand in hand. Yeah. Anyway,

20:59

so... Wait a minute, isn't he a Democrat?

21:01

Maria Shriver was in the Kennedy's. Nah, he must

21:03

be Democrat. What am I talking about? Fuck,

21:06

I'm going to Google that later. Oh god, it's

21:08

going to be an exciting afternoon in the world of Timbatt.

21:11

Patrick Schwartzmaker cocks an eyebrow in one of the

21:13

scenes. Like, it sort of is just... And

21:16

I believe the reason he did it, because it's not really

21:18

in place. There's no place for him to cock an eyebrow.

21:20

It's just because when he applied for the job, and

21:22

don't get this twisted, he's just took his CV in and

21:24

applied for the job. Underneath

21:26

the heading, Acting Skills, one of them

21:29

said, Can raise eyebrow on demand. And

21:31

now the director, there was no call

21:33

for this movement while shooting, but Patrick

21:36

Schwartzmaker thought, look, I got hired

21:38

for this job, not on my name, but on

21:40

the back of my fully sick acting CV, and

21:42

I'll be damned if I'm not going to squeeze

21:44

every single skill I have into this film. And

21:47

accordingly, he cocked his eyebrow, and that is

21:49

how Patty Schwartz parties. Good

21:52

on you, guy. I

21:55

like that reading of his personality,

21:57

because he still strikes me

21:59

as a guy who... who is trying really hard,

22:01

and they're my favorite people. People who aren't necessarily

22:03

the most talented, but they're fucking hard workers, you

22:05

know? Yeah, you gotta respect a hard worker. When

22:08

I was younger, I always thought, for

22:12

me it took a while, I was always quite lazy,

22:14

because I was naturally okay enough

22:16

at things to just get by without actually really putting

22:19

in the effort. And I always

22:21

thought that eventually, if you just do that, good

22:23

things will arrive. Well, if you try

22:25

or if you just lazy around. Like it's just

22:27

opportunity will fall into your lap. That's

22:30

terrible. The universe has reinforced the worst

22:32

elements of your white privilege. No, no,

22:34

no, well, this is the thing. I

22:37

got a handle on it, because you're absolutely right. But

22:39

then I was like, nothing was happening. And I

22:41

was like, ah, you gotta try all the time.

22:44

And then like, it's like the switch, and suddenly,

22:46

when I look at people who tried hard, I'd

22:48

be like, you should try less hard, and we

22:50

should hang out. I was like, ah, you gotta

22:52

try hard at everything. Little

22:54

life lessons go more government. I dig that. Make

22:58

that tangent. Try hard. Conan O'Brien said a

23:00

good thing about it. When

23:02

he got booted off the J-Leno, the Tonight Show

23:04

with J-Leno. Yeah. Work hard,

23:06

or maybe it was a bloody graduation speech

23:09

at Stanford or something. Work hard, be kind

23:11

to people, and amazing things will

23:13

happen. That's what Conan O'Brien says. Did he in

23:15

that speech have a bit about how he talked

23:17

about being nice to people, because you

23:19

never know who you'll end up working for, or who

23:21

you'll be involved? I think so. Was that? It was

23:23

insane. I think it was a commencement speech, because he

23:25

did a big, he just ratted off a shit ton

23:27

of jokes boom,

23:30

and some truth. Yeah, I remember being in one

23:32

of those, what are those hats called? The

23:35

graduation caps? Hat, the square

23:37

boards, the hat. They've got a name. University

23:39

hat. It's definitely got

23:41

a name. Don't forget your university hat.

23:43

You're graduating today. Speaking

23:46

of university, lacrosse.

23:48

We've never really talked about this, but the

23:51

college kids, the freight board. They show up

23:53

to the... They show up, and actually in

23:55

the car as well, one of them's carrying

23:57

a lacrosse. What's the terminology for a racquet?

23:59

Yeah, I'd call it a stick. Stick. I don't

24:02

know the proper terminology. But you would tell like-

24:04

You'd do some damage in a fight with a

24:06

lacrosse stick, by the way. I don't know how

24:08

they were using those more. I mean, it was

24:10

an out and out fight. We had an

24:12

exchange student when I went to high school

24:15

in Wellington who was from America. And he

24:17

kind of brought a bit of lacrosse in.

24:20

And so we got nets and shit with sticks

24:22

or whatever they called. And we played a little

24:24

bit. But just like, I think we start off

24:27

with tennis balls because if you use the full ball and

24:29

you fuck up, it will hurt.

24:31

It's quite an amazing game. It's a hard ball, is it?

24:34

Yeah, I think so. It's kind of like a- I

24:36

think you use a similar one to like a field

24:38

hockey. You know how it- Oh, that is hard. Yeah.

24:40

It's a place that's super hard. That sounds insane. Yeah,

24:43

but you've got to get distance. That's the thing. If

24:45

it was any softer, it wouldn't have the weight to

24:47

carry it. It's a fully six sport. It's pretty cool.

24:49

I've seen it on ESPN. They play in college. And

24:51

they- Oh, huge. I don't know why

24:53

it doesn't translate to a professional sport. It's like,

24:56

it's ruthless, bro. You're running around and it's highly

24:58

skilled. You're running around with the stick and this

25:00

ball just fucking throwing and catching and

25:02

just clearing dudes out. I think it's

25:04

real massive in certain circles, but I

25:06

think it's got the stigma of being

25:08

associated with real rich white college sport.

25:10

Is it? Yeah. Is it like a

25:12

collegiate sport? Yeah,

25:14

very much so. Which strangely is how

25:17

rugby is treated in England. Because here

25:19

in New Zealand, we- It's like everyone's

25:21

sport. It's very- It's everyone's sport. Yeah,

25:23

yeah. And in- Rugby, rugby sure is

25:25

popular here in New Zealand. We do love it.

25:28

No one else loves rugby, bro. Just us.

25:32

No one else loves it like us. South Africa

25:34

might. I haven't been. No. They love rugby. Don't

25:37

get it. Like they sell out Alice Park when

25:40

the Springboks come. That's true, actually. They do love

25:42

rugby. But like- Australians do not. Australians

25:44

at about number four or five. England it

25:46

would be about four. America, it

25:48

doesn't even- America is not four. All

25:50

the acts are playing a game in Chicago.

25:52

And I watched the trailer video for it.

25:54

Fuck Americans, ramp up sports to a million.

25:58

They put in just these insane like- Movie

26:00

and television production values to the match

26:02

up. The Eagles, all Blacks and like

26:05

fucking a shot of the skyline and

26:07

bloody. Bit. Man driving his motorbike or

26:09

something. No wonder the whole country's I the

26:11

day I go to school. So much like

26:13

production everywhere for everything is highly produce one

26:15

going to move their de nada zip bleeding

26:17

into sports coverage in Australia, New Zealand as

26:19

well. I yeah could like all the built

26:21

on, all the build up, all the hype,

26:23

the pomp and ceremony around sports games is

26:25

just getting out of hand. Now.

26:27

We're getting them is because in the game. But.

26:31

Since been a rambling pagans it's do that

26:33

one of those arena account. a lot of

26:35

ground yet been real change of pace I

26:37

think. oh yes something out on of the

26:39

sir I'm pretty sure it's shirts. I.

26:42

Think America stole holds

26:45

the on the like.

26:47

The Most recent Rugby

26:49

Olympic Championship. That. Us

26:51

to the and like very early nineteen hundreds, nine thirty

26:54

or some shit. no way that even know why your

26:56

plate for the last day when. I

26:58

will look I got no don't look it up

27:00

with know to sing not and I were going

27:02

around the south we're going to the Cbc Miss

27:05

Utah. This. Division A mystery tour

27:07

is coming to take you away. Coming

27:09

to take you away to you take

27:11

you away. Ah Jonah or do I

27:13

want to I would come up with

27:15

one from Heavy Her Huck. I have

27:17

another excellent to the on and I

27:19

case of the Cbc mystery tour as

27:21

the Sigma the movie in which we

27:23

explore what injury could have possibly cause

27:25

the symptoms described by Steve Buscemi or

27:27

Wiley and grownups to fix were given

27:29

as he only has put him in

27:31

filling his body and his arms have

27:33

been and he touched them position. For

27:36

two years. Ah. I

27:39

think what happened son as cbc

27:41

me was riding. A. Penny

27:43

farthing out where those silly old bicycles

27:45

of the big front wheel and the

27:47

low back wheel. Which. Is this one

27:50

of my favorite parts of Jackass is like

27:52

Ryan Dunn flight who design as if I

27:54

could have a child? Who the fuck designed

27:56

a penny farthing? A gotta cross the line

27:58

It is insane. See

28:01

how high they are just make a bike

28:03

with for him to the so close we

28:05

were both easy isn't something to do with

28:07

like the cogs and things like that, the

28:09

amount of work light in the physics, the

28:11

stuff that's going on the to do with

28:13

the Vig at one will as begun. Ones

28:15

little they produce might be right by me

28:17

too. I just seems like what is no

28:19

new thing and a regular bike though I

28:21

know I don't either maternal the have someone

28:23

did look at their and go you need

28:25

to make their front wheel smaller and that

28:27

bet we'll bigger and or be perfect anyway.

28:30

So Cbc. Me was showing off to

28:32

Chris Rock and the gang on is

28:34

Penny Farthing. Riding around

28:36

and him center for real or is it

28:38

digital as hooper we have an exact same

28:40

conversation with his head and in chris rock

28:42

as hey what's this and he picks up

28:45

a stick and he runs across and he

28:47

puts the stick into the spikes the front

28:49

tire wine dbc me go tumbling over the

28:51

handlebars and lands are with his arms and

28:54

explains the arms above the hid he lenses

28:56

arms above take these flailing because we all

28:58

night of bed jumpers from the quarry there

29:00

are and. I. Guess that's that's

29:02

I haven't decided. Penny Farthing. The

29:04

Penny farthing. Accidents. The

29:07

last sixty three of them, lot of the you

29:09

want to elaborate on to why. While he was

29:11

on a penny farthing, the faceless know ah, because

29:14

he ah he left after high school where he's

29:16

hit bullied by the Bath high school he lived

29:18

in. Join the circus. I pick about certain skills.

29:20

hey we're now when he received them. He wants

29:22

to show off a one of the South Pacific.

29:25

He's got the look of a county. Specially.

29:27

In this film and I was six

29:29

years off, the other was correct. That

29:31

was Nineteen Twenty Four when the last

29:33

summer to the way that kind of

29:35

rugby union within. The

29:38

the thing that our At does, we're

29:40

not looking it up again by a

29:42

damn And the Us One goals and

29:44

they and it's never been near again.

29:46

I'm every capital of s ignorance. Demeanor.

29:48

we got the shining lights the pace with

29:51

python the cbc was return again i wouldn't

29:53

unfreeze upon everyone the an opportunity importance and

29:55

our love for you sitting in a little

29:57

self they have selfless to the podcast. Just

29:59

because I'm bored man, I want to see

30:01

your pretty faces. I'm just curious about where

30:04

and when people are, like people might be

30:06

doing this when they're going grocery shopping. Yeah.

30:09

I mean... If you can't be bothered liking your face but... Do

30:11

you think anyone's ever made love to the

30:13

dulcet sound of the worst idea of all time? That's

30:15

something Matt used to say all the time. He said,

30:18

Matt who I used to produce for on a radio

30:20

show the last couple of years, he was like, he

30:22

would always say, it'd

30:24

be like good afternoon wherever you're listening

30:26

if you're making love to the partner

30:29

of your choice. That is so

30:31

good. I really hope that someone has had sex. That's

30:33

more likely because you have the radio in the background.

30:35

Oh you could have this one in the background and

30:37

someone... You could have like a little... If you have

30:39

had sex while listening to the podcast, give us a

30:41

yell and we'll give you a shout-in next week. No,

30:43

we don't need a photo of that. We don't need

30:45

a photo of that. In fact, I'm going to go

30:47

so far as to say don't send us a photo

30:49

of that. No selfies of that. Because that's not the

30:51

angle we're taking with this. It's more

30:53

of a curiosity really. It is vanity isn't

30:55

it? Yeah. It's the whole thing of vanity projects.

30:58

Sure is. It's over for this episode.

31:00

Thanks for joining us. If you can't be

31:02

bothered going to the Facebook page, just click it on the

31:04

Twitter. He's

31:06

Guy underscore Mont. So

31:09

G-U-Y underscore M-O-N-T and I'm Tim

31:11

underscore Bat. You're clogged up. That

31:13

sounds terrible. Yeah, he's a real

31:15

nasal. Right. Time to bail.

31:18

Or what? Oh pirate yes there are things. Oh pirate yes

31:20

there are things. Oh pirate yes there are things. Oh pirate yes

31:22

there are things. Oh pirate yes there are things. Oh pirate yes there

31:24

are things. Oh pirate yes there are things. Oh

31:56

pirate yes there are things. Are

32:01

these songs of freedom? Cause

32:04

they're all I ever had. Redemption

32:10

song.

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