0:00

Hey, it's Justin from Planet M. We're

0:02

doing something we've never done before. We're

0:04

sharing the series premiere of Desert Skies,

0:07

a quirky, comedic, and heartfelt sci-fi audio

0:09

fiction show about the life between this

0:12

world and the next that we think EOS

0:14

10 listeners will really enjoy. It's been celebrated

0:16

as one of Reddit's top audio fiction podcasts

0:18

of the year, and Desert Skies

0:20

has captured the hearts and imaginations of listeners

0:22

worldwide. So there's no better time for you

0:24

to jump in. The entire first

0:26

season is available now on their feed. There's a link

0:29

in the show notes, and the team behind the show

0:31

is hard at work on season two. Enjoy.

0:34

For the best listening experience,

0:36

headphones are recommended. Um,

1:29

if you don't mind waiting just

1:31

a moment while we get ready,

1:33

uh, we're actually

1:36

trying something new. I, uh,

1:39

we're formalizing our

1:41

process. So this is this is an

1:43

exciting time to be here. I've

1:45

actually written something up,

1:47

so I think it's I'm pretty

1:50

proud of it. It's it's cool.

1:52

Where am I? Please hold all

1:54

of your questions until the presentation

1:56

is complete. Everything will be answered

1:58

in time. Okay,

2:00

I think I'm ready. You

2:03

may approach the counter. Welcome

2:13

to Desert Skies, Traveler.

2:16

Your journey through the physical plane has

2:18

come to an end. But

2:21

we are so glad you're

2:25

here. And I know what

2:27

you're thinking. Where is here

2:29

exactly? I'll

2:32

do my best to explain. Desert

2:35

Skies Astral Plane Fuel and

2:37

Service Station exists on the

2:39

lowest sphere of existence between

2:42

life and death. Or

2:45

as we like to say around

2:47

here, between life and the next

2:49

life. You

2:51

have no more reason to

2:54

be afraid. No more

2:56

reason to fret, nor worry. Whatever

2:59

your needs, we are here

3:01

to help. My

3:04

colleague here is the mechanic, or

3:06

Mac for short. It

3:10

is his job to service your vehicle

3:12

in preparation for the journey

3:15

across the celestial spheres. I

3:19

am the attendant. Or Tindy for short.

3:21

I told you not to call me

3:23

that in front of the Traveler, Sawill.

3:25

I think it puts them at E.

3:27

I'm trying to create an error of

3:29

mystique. Yeah, well that's stupid. Yeah, well

3:32

nobody asked you. Um, what's

3:34

going on? Like

3:36

I said, I am the attendant. It

3:39

is my job to ensure you have

3:41

adequate provisions and are well instructed

3:44

in navigating the journey through

3:46

the celestial spheres. Now,

3:51

let me tell you about a selection of

3:53

products available and

3:55

any associated promotions. Wait

3:58

a second here. It's

6:00

our job to make sure you're prepared for the ride.

6:03

Uh-huh. And what if I don't

6:05

believe you? What if this

6:07

is all just some kind of sick dream, huh? Some

6:10

elaborate prank? Look, I

6:13

understand this experience can be

6:16

jarring. Especially

6:18

if your death was sudden

6:21

or unexpected. I

6:24

can't remember, but I probably went through the

6:26

same emotions you're experiencing right now. For the

6:28

sake of argument, let's say you're telling

6:30

me the truth. What's to

6:32

keep me from driving back the direction I

6:34

came from, huh? Hightailing it back

6:37

to my living room. No

6:39

pun intended. There's

6:41

nothing keeping you from that. I

6:44

mean, we can't stop you, but

6:47

I don't recommend it. Yeah, and why's that? Microwaveable

6:50

burritos. What? What

6:53

is that supposed to mean? I'll show you.

6:56

Come on, follow me. Our

7:01

microwaveable burritos selection. Currently, there

7:03

are 34 varieties. If

7:06

you drive back the way you came, there's gonna be

7:08

35. Here,

7:11

take a look at this package. What

7:13

do you see? It says,

7:15

Gutbuster brand microwaveable burritos. And

7:18

there's a face, lady with red

7:21

hair. Alice's Chicken

7:23

Alla King style. Read

7:25

the back. Okay.

7:30

This delicious microwaveable snack

7:32

is dedicated to Alice McDougall,

7:35

who attempted to return to the physical

7:37

realm and retrieve her beloved cat, Wallace.

7:41

We honor her brave effort.

7:43

What the hell is this? Just

7:45

keep reading. In accordance

7:48

with the governing rules of the

7:50

Astral Plane, the full essence of

7:52

this individual's existence, desires, purpose, and

7:55

romantic history has been meticulously crafted

7:58

into this artisan-style burrito. So, taste

8:01

the flavor of life. So

8:05

there's ground up lady in here? Uh,

8:08

no? God no,

8:10

that's disgusting. This

8:13

isn't her physically, it's the flavor

8:16

and texture of her existence. Which

8:19

apparently tastes like diced chicken in

8:21

a cream sauce. It's

8:24

actually pretty good. Congratulations

8:26

friend. I've heard some crazy

8:28

shit in my life but I've never heard anything

8:30

like that. But

8:34

you know, at

8:37

that I'd be chicken. Some kind

8:39

of chicken burrito. Why

8:41

do you say that? I saw it

8:43

on one of those placemats at a Chinese restaurant. I

8:45

was born in the year of the chicken. I

8:48

think you mean rooster. Really?

8:51

I always thought it was chicken. I

8:54

think I'd rather be a chicken than a cock. You

8:56

know? Oh

8:59

God, I need a cigarette. You

9:01

got those? Huh? A

9:03

brand that doesn't taste like devastating sadness or

9:06

contain the essence of someone's great grandma? Here,

9:08

have one of mine. Thank

9:11

God. Something I can actually use.

9:15

I know these things are awful for you. I'm

9:17

not sure you gotta worry about that anymore. Come

9:21

on buddy. Let's take a look at that car of

9:23

yours. That's the other thing. I don't even

9:25

own a car. Then boom, I'm

9:27

suddenly cruising down the highway in a

9:29

Buick Skylark. That's one hell of

9:31

a car. Sure, I'm not complaining. But

9:34

that's not my automobile. And

9:36

this isn't my beard's natural color. Yeah,

9:38

here we are. Come on,

9:41

let's get you road ready. Hey,

9:43

Nintendo. Or whatever your name

9:45

is. You really telling me I'm

9:47

dead? It's attendant. Yeah,

9:51

you are. Sorry,

9:54

friend. Well ain't that just a kick in the

9:56

pants? One more question.

14:00

Yeah, well, um, you are dead,

14:02

so there's that and

14:04

what? You

14:07

want to die choking on

14:10

frozen breakfast foods watching TV?

14:13

You're judgy, you know that. Anyway,

14:16

um, born and raised in New

14:18

York. Manage the electronics counter at

14:20

a department store. Mm-hmm. Fascinating

14:23

stuff, but you know what I want. Yeah,

14:27

I know. There you go, you

14:29

thick little man. Embarrassing

14:31

childhood memories, gutta love

14:33

these. Look, in fourth

14:35

grade, choked on an ice cube at lunch and

14:37

threw up all over the table. Ha ha ha

14:39

ha ha. How do you

14:42

even do that? Says

14:46

his wife died. Her name

14:48

sounds so familiar. Deborah

14:51

Cobb. Deborah

14:54

Cobb. Deborah

14:58

Cobb. Cass,

15:00

do you have a record of a Deborah Cobb

15:02

who was married to a Lawrence Cobb? Indeed.

15:05

Deborah Cobb, age 36. Son,

15:10

death, brain aneurysm. Jesus,

15:12

that's so young. We have so

15:14

many people come through here, Tindy.

15:17

What makes you think you'd remember some random woman?

15:20

We must have had 20,000 Debra's at

15:22

Desert Skies in my time and at

15:24

least a handful of Deborah Cobb's. I

15:27

don't know. Some people just stick

15:29

with you, Mac. Yeah, I guess that's

15:31

true. There is that one

15:34

guy who crapped his pants dancing to you. You're the

15:36

one that I want during a school play. I

15:39

still got the report pinned up in my shack. You

15:42

can't make this stuff up. No, you can't.

15:46

I think I'm going to check on our traveler. Mr.

15:54

Cobb. Bob?

16:01

Go away, Nintendo. I

16:04

just want to talk real quick. Give

16:07

me 30 seconds. Please,

16:10

Mr. Cobb. Stop

16:15

calling me Mr. Cobb. My name

16:17

is Lawrence. Hey, Lawrence. Buddy. You've

16:21

been out here a while, and we're

16:24

getting kind of worried about you. Worried about me? What's

16:27

there to worry about? I'm already dead.

16:30

Dead is such a

16:33

weighty word. You

16:35

left a physical plane. So what? It's

16:38

just one plane of existence. This

16:41

is another. And

16:43

down that road is another.

16:46

And that's your destination. That's

16:49

the next life. Yeah, well if it's so great,

16:51

why haven't you driven down that road, huh? If

16:54

it's so wonderful, what are you doing out

16:56

here in the plane of God knows what

16:58

hawking burritos with people in them? I

17:01

don't know. What do you mean you don't know?

17:04

You're dead too, right? You must

17:06

have pulled in here just like me. But

17:09

you stayed. You're right. I

17:11

mean, I assume

17:13

that's what happened, but I

17:15

don't remember a time when I wasn't working

17:17

here. When I wasn't

17:19

the attendant. I

17:22

don't remember my life on the physical plane,

17:25

or my real name. I

17:28

have no idea who I am, or

17:31

even how I died. Jesus, that's

17:33

messed up, guy. So

17:37

what's to keep you from going now? Get

17:39

in the car. Come on, we'll go together. I

17:42

know I'd feel better if someone was with me, you know. I'm

17:45

sorry, Lawrence. I can't. Why not? Because

17:48

I like what I do. It

17:51

may not seem like much to you, but

17:54

to me, it's everything.

17:58

It's all I've ever known. Do

18:00

you know how many Lawrence Cobbs I've had come

18:02

through here? People like you

18:05

who get behind that wheel and can't seem to turn

18:07

the key? And

18:10

99.9% of the time, I

18:13

get them down that road. I

18:15

save them from the burrito plane of

18:17

existence. I

18:19

help them move on. It might

18:22

not be so bad being a burrito, you know. A

18:25

lot of people like burritos. This

18:27

is true. You

18:30

know, I had a wife who died three

18:32

years ago. I

18:35

couldn't do anything without her. Ever

18:39

since she's been gone, my life's just been

18:41

one pointless day after another. She

18:45

might be up there too, huh? Down that

18:47

road? How could

18:49

I not realize that? Tell

18:52

me, did a Deborah Cobb ever come through this place?

18:56

She did. Well,

18:59

well, okay. I'm

19:01

gonna get to see her again. Come

19:03

inside, Lawrence. Let's get you what you need. Hey,

19:05

you got any of those corn chips shaped like

19:07

a dunce cap? Indeed we do. And

19:10

you didn't do nothing weird to it. No

19:13

need. Those things are weird

19:15

enough on their own. So

19:23

go ahead and take a look around the store, Lawrence, and

19:25

meet me at the counter when you're done. Thanks,

19:27

but I can't buy none of this stuff. I don't

19:29

even have my wallet. Then how

19:32

in the hell are you planning to pay

19:34

for all that astral grade fuel I just

19:36

pumped into your Buick? We

19:39

don't take kindly to thieves around here. Hey now,

19:42

wait just a minute. You didn't

19:44

say nothing about no payment. I

19:46

mean, what would you guys even do with

19:48

money? Uh, nothing at all. Mack

19:51

is just being an asshat. Yeah, I'm just

19:53

messing with you, buddy. Nobody's got

19:55

money this side of the physical rail. You

19:58

know what they say. I can't

20:00

take it with you. When you go, yeah. Like

20:03

I said, just grab whatever you like, and

20:06

I'll be waiting for you right here.

20:10

Oh, and don't forget to

20:12

grab a map. They're

20:15

on that rack over there by the burrito freezer. There's

20:18

only one main road that you'll need to stay on,

20:20

but there are some interesting sites along the way you

20:22

might want to check out. Oh, also, it gets

20:24

cold once you get past the Martian sphere, so

20:26

it would help to grab a- No. No,

20:29

no, no. What's wrong? My

20:33

Debbie. What about her? I told you.

20:36

She's been through here, Lawrence. She

20:38

didn't go down that road. She

20:41

tried to go back. What are you talking

20:43

about? Come see for

20:45

yourself. See what? That's

20:48

her face, right there. Debbie's

20:52

waffle stuffed burrito. Let

20:54

me see. It

20:57

says this delicious, microwavable snack

20:59

is dedicated to Deborah Cobb,

21:03

who attempted to return to the

21:05

physical plane for her dear husband,

21:07

Lawrence. We honor the

21:09

sacrifice she made in the name of

21:12

love. Damn

21:15

it. I knew I

21:18

remembered that name. My wife. The

21:20

only reason I ever had for living is

21:23

a burrito. Well, a lot

21:25

of people like burritos. OK,

21:28

I should shut up. No, you're

21:31

right. A

21:33

lot of people like burritos. But

21:36

I loved this one. And

21:39

she's gone. For

21:41

a second there, I thought there really was a chance

21:43

we could be together again. I'm

21:47

so sorry, Lawrence. Que

21:49

sera sera. Que sera. Could

21:53

I have a moment alone, fellas? Of

21:56

course. Mac, come

21:59

in. Poor

22:03

guy, I can't imagine what

22:05

he's feeling. The thoughts

22:07

that have to be going through his head right now. And

22:10

to think that if his wife could have

22:12

just waited, they'd be together

22:14

now. I

22:16

wonder what it feels like, Mac. To

22:20

miss the physical plane. The

22:23

people you left behind. I

22:27

remember things about the

22:29

physical plane. Real general things. Telephones,

22:33

TVs, wars, placemats

22:36

at Chinese restaurants. But

22:38

I don't remember me. The

22:42

only me I remember is the

22:45

me at Desert Skies. I've

22:49

asked Cass to request a bio so many

22:51

times I've lost count. And

22:53

every time she says the same

22:55

thing, I'm unable to submit bio

22:57

requests for current staff. I

23:01

know I've asked you before, Mac, but you don't

23:03

remember anything else about me when I got

23:05

here? Just the same stuff

23:07

I told you before, Tindy. You

23:09

showed up, got out of the car,

23:12

walked past me like I wasn't even there,

23:15

dead silent. You went

23:17

inside. I started prepping your vehicle

23:19

for the journey and when I went to tell you

23:21

it was ready, you were already

23:23

standing behind the counter. The

23:25

old attendant had slipped out the back and took the car and

23:28

meant for you. I

23:30

guess he was finally ready to hit the road. Funny

23:34

thing is, I never got

23:36

back. Come here. Look

23:39

at this. What's he doing? He's

23:41

chewing. What's that in his

23:43

hand? That

23:45

my friend is Deborah

23:47

Cobb. The

23:49

full essence of her existence,

23:51

desires, purpose, and

23:54

romantic history meticulously crafted

23:56

into an artisan-style burrito.

24:00

Well, I'll be

24:02

damned. I've never seen a man

24:04

sob and eat a burrito at the same time.

24:08

I have. You

24:10

said you'd never mention that again. Hey

24:13

fellas. Hey

24:16

Lawrence, you all right? Yeah,

24:19

you know what? I am. I think

24:21

I'm ready to go. You

24:23

don't have anything. Don't need anything. You

24:26

don't have to, but you sure you don't want

24:29

to grab some snacks for the road? At

24:32

least let me grab you a map. No need. I

24:35

ain't stopping. Well, okay

24:38

then. Sounds like

24:40

you're ready. As I'll ever be. Thanks

24:43

fellas. For everything. And

25:04

that was the last time that we ever saw

25:06

Lawrence Cobb. As

25:08

his tail lights faded into the distance, we

25:11

were reminded of the power of love. And

25:15

its ability to cause wandering souls

25:17

to find resolve. Perhaps,

25:19

each one of them- Give it a rest, Mac. Look.

25:24

He's turning around. Maybe

25:27

he's coming back for something. I

25:29

don't think so. He's

25:32

not slowing down. And

25:43

there he goes. Nothing you could have done,

25:45

Tandy. I really

25:47

thought he was going to make it. Who's to say he didn't? Seems

25:53

to me like he made it exactly where he wanted to

25:55

go. The freezer

25:57

out. Come on, Tandy. We

25:59

got a 30- fifth variety now let's

26:02

see what it is we're gonna need

26:04

a bigger freezer you go ahead

26:07

I'm gonna submit my traveler report hey

26:11

cash hello

26:14

attended I'd like to

26:16

submit my traveler report for Lawrence

26:18

Cobb I am ready

26:21

to capture your report another

26:24

traveler has coming on Lawrence

26:28

Cobb never departed for his trip

26:30

across the celestial spheres it

26:34

seems that he found a reason to

26:36

head the other direction it's

26:39

it's different this time though he wasn't

26:42

trying to return to the physical plane at least

26:44

as far as I can tell he knew

26:48

what the outcome of driving that direction would

26:50

be and that seemed to

26:52

be his intention follow

26:55

the path that his dearly departed Deborah

26:57

had taken just three years before

26:59

I I hope he found

27:01

what he was looking for that's the

27:04

end of my report cash yeah

27:11

it's probably time we requested a second freezer

27:13

34 varieties of

27:15

microwavable burritos is just about all we

27:17

have room for looks like you're not

27:19

up to 35 varieties just yet bud

27:22

what do you mean here you go look

27:24

for yourself Lawrence and

27:27

Debbie's chicken and waffle stuffed burrito

27:29

uh-huh and read the back this

27:32

delicious microwavable snack is

27:35

dedicated to Lawrence and Deborah

27:37

Cobb whose

27:39

love for one another transcends the boundaries

27:41

of the known plane may

27:45

their essences enjoy an eternity of

27:47

artisanal bliss together taste

27:50

the flavor of love another

27:57

traveler looks like it's time to

27:59

get back to work You You