Transformers is going back to it’s roots with an unnecessary origin story! Now with terrible animation! Are you a lowly mining robot? Do you long for more? Maybe you wish to be king of the robots and or a druid with the power of car? Well now you can! Transformers One! A beautiful tale of friends to lovers to bitter rivals to enemies to archnemesis or whatever! It’s the epic origin story of that truck you love and that gun (or sometimes tank) you love to hate! Transformers that don’t transform! A comedic ultraviolent Bumblebee! Chris Hemsworth is there! He so handsome. As you can tell we are all very excited to watch another hit in the multi media behemoth to sell us toys. We lovingly reminisce about the previous Transformers films and even pitch our own, Transformers: Dog that features a cameo from Ham the Astrochimp. Ham was the first great ape launched into space. While his name was an acronym, it wasn’t for the Haptic Arm Machine but for Holloman Aerospace Medicine.

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