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Season 5, Ep 6 - Tom the War King (w/ Steve Waltien)

Season 5, Ep 6 - Tom the War King (w/ Steve Waltien)

Released Monday, 22nd April 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
Season 5, Ep 6 - Tom the War King (w/ Steve Waltien)

Season 5, Ep 6 - Tom the War King (w/ Steve Waltien)

Season 5, Ep 6 - Tom the War King (w/ Steve Waltien)

Season 5, Ep 6 - Tom the War King (w/ Steve Waltien)

Monday, 22nd April 2024
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Episode Transcript

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doing that, sit back and. Enjoy

2:00

the show. Over

2:23

the Magic Tavern weekly podcast from the

2:26

Magical Way into Food I'm your host

2:28

or any camp. I'm not evil. I

2:30

swear that wasn't always video, never little

2:32

podcast before. This is everything you need

2:34

to know. Nine years ago, I fell

2:36

through a dimensional portal pine the Burger

2:39

King in Chicago into the Magical Fantastical

2:41

and the Film. Luckily I'm still getting

2:43

a wife. I signal through the dimensional

2:45

rift that I used to upload a

2:47

podcast currently being recorded in Ne yeah,

2:50

the cap of the Northeast. As we're

2:52

waiting to see King. com blame

2:54

Belarus Northeast, he believes, on a

2:56

I know that we have the

2:58

wander last circling the castle in

3:00

May to pick us up but.

3:03

I must admit to I know

3:06

you haven't introduced myself or challenge

3:08

yet butter I'm. Says

3:11

all my fault. Sry have

3:14

allowed the wizards to remain immortal. Now

3:18

they're each becoming war lords of

3:20

their own areas of food causing

3:22

this. There's a wizard war coming

3:25

and we must get the help

3:27

of King Bell or off it's

3:29

our only chance of mine from

3:31

your body know of such as

3:34

you're not responsible for the wow.

3:37

We're on wizards, everyone's calling it

3:39

while now. Okay now hey buddy,

3:42

this isn't your fault. Of use

3:44

that up for what you believe in

3:46

and we back you don't We are

3:48

earning exactly And look, we've all made

3:50

mistakes. We if we focused on all

3:52

the mistakes we collectively made squid to

3:54

keep moving forward. Like. A

3:56

shark with little introspection. We're

4:00

here. We're going to pitch

4:02

to our old friend now

4:05

King Tumbling Belarus joining forces

4:07

with us despite the wizards.

4:09

Were going to fix everything but a

4:11

lot rides on this meeting. Yeah, use

4:13

it or he did everything right. We

4:15

love you. Okay, we back you and

4:17

we're gonna. We're to get through this.

4:19

Okay, we're going through this. Wow is

4:21

it would be great to get through

4:23

this. It would have been even better

4:26

the to be dressed up of I

4:28

mean except. They react

4:30

in a manner awning. This is

4:32

what I almost always where I

4:34

know look at. I brought some

4:36

visual aids, I brought this evil

4:38

and this poster. Board like so, the

4:40

he can visualize it would cut, have

4:43

you guys are practice your parts of

4:45

the of the pitch I have my

4:47

memorized I? Sick. You so

4:50

much for an audience. Now to

4:52

the pitch deck. And then of

4:54

course use or comes in with his index cards. Has

4:58

this ever happened to you? Is or as isn't Isn't.

5:01

Team better off as this ever happened to

5:03

you. Have.

5:05

You ever. Cause. All

5:07

of the other wizards to lose their

5:09

immortality as was your own immortality. And

5:11

then. Had to fight a war

5:14

against your own brother and I'm sure

5:16

somebody coming summer coming out of a

5:18

thumb. I. Have

5:20

a civic to her. Say.

5:23

Hi Yes, yes we are! Thank you so

5:25

much! Your name is. The.

5:28

Last. Was. Higher

5:30

class, close to my.

5:33

Fair. Share.

5:35

Your narrative spare time. Access

5:39

Api. In whom no

5:41

first thing first thing we know where the

5:43

last. Fall. i may fall

5:45

i'm on my ass just hold on

5:47

we can keep up with you know

5:50

i'm very fact yourself so such beliefs

5:52

not a pain in the how it's

5:54

a service dog also that was not

5:56

the first thing i noticed about like

5:58

spawn worth of with hat. What?

6:01

Oh, you'll notice that I make

6:03

grasshopper in the hat. Yeah,

6:05

it's like a, is that a dandelion or? It

6:08

is the flower of

6:10

my choosing. Of course, uh, very

6:12

good hat. He doesn't know what kind of flower it

6:14

is. Somebody put it on there and he can't get

6:16

it off because they don't have hands. He still chose

6:18

it. You still chose it. Announcing... what are

6:21

your names? Oh, uh, I'm Arnie, Arnie

6:24

Kneecamp. I'm from another world, greatest warrior

6:26

on all the phone. I'm not evil.

6:28

Announcing Arnie Kneecamp from another world, the

6:30

greatest warrior on all of phone. Not

6:32

evil. I'm Chunt, uh, shape shifter, but

6:34

usually a badger. Announcing Chunt, a shape

6:36

shifter, but usually a badger. And I,

6:38

of course, am use to a wizard

6:40

of the 12th realm of the Theseus

6:43

master of light and shadow, manipulator of

6:45

magical delights, devourer of chaos, champion of

6:47

the great halls of Tarakas, known to

6:49

the elves as Fjangalak, known to the

6:51

dwarves as Zerren who extenders and known throughout the

6:53

northeast as Gatsmanius Maestar, but I may have many

6:55

other secret names that I don't wish to announce

6:57

here. Announcing

7:00

Youssadar, wizard

7:02

of the 12th realm of a

7:04

Theseus, master of light and shadow,

7:06

manipulator of magical delights, devourer of

7:08

chaos, champion of the great

7:10

halls of Tarakas, the elves know

7:12

him as Fjangalak, the dwarves known

7:14

him as Zerren who extenders and

7:16

he's known in the northeast as

7:18

Gatsmanius Maestar, and there may be

7:20

other secret names that you

7:22

do not know. Andralla,

7:25

yes, yes, yes, enough. My

7:28

friends, ignore the grasshopper. Come

7:31

in. It's hard to ignore the grasshopper.

7:36

And be set with the wow. Our

7:39

apologies, your majesty. We

7:42

do not wish to burden me further, but

7:44

we have come here today to

7:46

ask a great boon of the Chant. Yes,

7:49

speaking of the wow, war on wizards,

7:52

has this ever happened to you? Thank

7:54

you for having me. To

8:00

not speak of the war, but to speak

8:02

of friendships. This

8:04

table is crowded with the

8:07

very things that make a

8:09

war. the figurines that represent

8:11

my soldiers like battlements, my

8:13

very creatures that spread all

8:15

throughout soon. as well as

8:17

the last known position of

8:19

every wizard. and this Starbucks

8:21

cup. Persecuted their

8:23

low so week. According to this

8:26

table with the figurines, you only

8:28

have fifteen giant men out. There

8:30

were, oh sorry. The giant

8:32

men represent a battalion. Ah,

8:35

and each battalion has one

8:37

man. Some. Humphrey hovering

8:39

as well. They're different sizes, but

8:41

his men represents the battalion, and

8:43

a battalion is a company of

8:46

one. So just count up the

8:48

number of these battalions, your know,

8:51

The. More important thing is finding out

8:53

where the wizards the hiding yes which

8:55

is why or why we've asked. Audience

8:57

with you are getting some to deceive

9:00

you great by the way to arm

9:02

or we wanted to have a bit

9:04

of a pitch session with you are

9:07

indeed bring some sweets pits Each one

9:09

of you my friends with have a

9:11

tough a sweet pitch with me and

9:14

we may suggest our tears. You know

9:16

that my coach queen is in the

9:18

Highlands. And time

9:21

left. Here to manage the war

9:23

by myself. The last thing I want

9:25

to speak of, his masses of state

9:27

trump regaled me with what? what? What

9:30

has. Brought you great

9:32

joy of late on the

9:34

pitch. Enjoy this pitch. It

9:36

comes directly from trees with

9:39

squeezes. To

9:41

Images Arizona the bottom of my lip here

9:43

in New. Flavor.

9:46

Ah, let's have a good

9:48

old fashioned pitch session, shall

9:50

we? Indeed indeed.

9:53

Yes, Mariam. What

9:57

does that texture? How would you describe that? I'd

9:59

say. tacky. Oh well

10:01

I think it's in wonderful taste.

10:04

You know, when you

10:06

reach a certain level it's hard to

10:09

know what is tacky and what isn't.

10:11

I'm a king now so everything's gold and at

10:13

first I thought, well that's a

10:16

bit tacky isn't it? But really it

10:18

needs to be because, and this

10:20

was explained to me, that you

10:23

want to project a kingly image

10:25

for everyone that's around and you don't

10:28

want anybody to come to the palace,

10:30

especially now that we need to recruit all kinds

10:32

of troops and things and think, oh he's not

10:34

much of a king is he? Oh yeah, can

10:36

I just say a tacky king is so gauche.

10:39

Oh it's gauche, yes, yes. So

10:42

what we do is we cover

10:44

everything in gold and that

10:46

seems to do it, you know? Yes,

10:49

you've recruited upwards of

10:52

15 soldiers it seems. Well

10:54

yes, each one of these men represents a

10:56

battalion. A battalion, yes. But

10:59

the battalion is made up of a single soldier,

11:01

am I correct? Am I understanding, am I following

11:03

that? Well yes, these are the

11:06

battalion soldiers so all of these are from

11:08

battalion and each... I'm

11:10

from a battalion! Sorry I can't hear it.

11:12

Okay that's offensive, that's offensive. Yeah, even though

11:15

I thought someone we could do. Well

11:17

no, look I mean I wouldn't

11:20

say that in front of a battalion. Okay. And so

11:22

that's sort of a litmus test

11:24

for knowing, you know, because they're not all

11:26

like that. Arne a litmus test is

11:28

a test where if you fail it you have to

11:31

actually you must add it to your list.

11:33

So let me take out my little list

11:36

here. Okay. Don't do battalion accents. Thank you

11:38

for that king, I appreciate it.

11:40

Your highness, you know I hate to focus on

11:42

your war table, I know you wanted to talk

11:44

about other things, but what are all these figures

11:46

on here that are just like

11:49

sort of sad faces? What do those

11:51

represent? Well I

11:53

like to, as you know, I'm a former

11:55

actor and I

11:57

like to represent dramatically

12:00

how we're doing in the battle. And

12:02

so I have various emotional faces

12:05

that I apply to the map. There's

12:07

a key right here, and you can read

12:09

all this. And this is

12:12

how sad I'm feeling today. Oh, is this the

12:14

key to the books that explain the table? Yeah,

12:16

there's a box behind you with a lock on

12:18

it. Okay, let me... Yes, use

12:20

the key, go into the box. That's

12:22

where the books are that explain the key to

12:24

the map. It's really quite simple. Oh, there's

12:27

a compass rose. Oh, sorry, the compass rose and

12:29

is shining a light on the books I see.

12:31

Oh, okay. Sorry, King, you were saying? Yes, I'm

12:34

saying that in addition to the map, let

12:36

me open the curtain. Look

12:40

at this. We

12:42

are in the highest room in Northeastern.

12:44

Wow, wow. From which you can see

12:46

the battlefields stretching

12:48

out before us. See, each

12:50

one of these battalion men

12:53

represents a real battalion that

12:55

you can see out there in

12:57

the fields if you could look far enough, if

13:00

you had the eyes of a bird. Look,

13:02

there's your guards. Those grasshoppers look like

13:04

ants from up here. Look at that.

13:06

Yes, no, those are my grasshoppers. They're

13:08

man-sized grasshoppers that I've gotten

13:10

to serve me. But

13:13

there are still many things I

13:15

need to wage this war. I

13:18

wish someone would come and give me

13:20

a plan,

13:23

a way to move forward. But

13:25

the fact of the matter is, gents, I

13:27

don't want to talk about the war with

13:30

you. I want to talk about friendship. Ah,

13:32

yes, of course. Pitch up, pitch up, drink

13:34

down your pitch. To the greatest

13:37

of ships. Of

13:40

course, friendship is why we came here

13:42

today, just to crush a cop

13:44

with thee and to speak of old times and

13:48

better times. Ah,

13:51

but, you know, if we want

13:54

friendship to

13:56

last, isn't that

13:58

a thing that's worth it? worth fighting

14:00

for. Wow. Indeed.

14:03

I'll tell you friendship and

14:05

a good glass of pitch is

14:08

all I need in life. I

14:10

mean, I'm surrounded by

14:13

issues. I've got the problem

14:15

with trachea arelia. I've got this wizard

14:17

war, you know. I've got my council

14:19

breathing down my neck. I've got 99

14:22

problems but a pitch ain't one. So

14:27

you're having problems with your sister? Hit

14:29

me! But I can't

14:32

do a battalion accident. Well, it

14:34

depends. Context is

14:37

everything. Yeah. So

14:39

your sister, she's gone to the highlands.

14:42

I assume, is this

14:45

your bio-doing? Have you sent her there or

14:47

tried to trick away so you can have

14:49

some peace and quiet around here for a

14:51

change? I tried to send her away any

14:54

chance I get. Well,

14:57

you know she was trying to kill me for many

14:59

years. Did you know that? Oh yeah. Yeah.

15:03

I just found that out. We actively saw her try to

15:05

kill you. You know it's hard to

15:07

tell when someone's your sister. It's almost like you

15:09

know them too well and they tried to kill

15:11

you and you think, you know, what's she doing

15:13

there now, you know? But

15:16

it really was. It was lethal. And

15:19

now I just want to sit back with my bros.

15:22

Have a pitch, Desh. Yes. Oh

15:24

my gosh. Can I just say what you

15:27

described? Imagine if your sister

15:29

was a bunch of wizards, right? And

15:31

she's just like trying to kill you and she's like annoying.

15:34

Like what? How

15:36

could we overcome that, Youssou-Dour?

15:40

Have you

15:43

ever caused all your wizard

15:46

brethren to lose their immortality and

15:48

then the sister who's next card

15:50

here? You

15:53

put one half of a sentence on

15:55

each card, Youssou-Dour? I don't know. He's

15:57

holding so many cards. I guess minus.

16:00

Why are you reading cards rather than relating

16:02

to me in the moment? I

16:05

see what's happening here. Uh...

16:08

You do? Huh? Yes.

16:11

You, like everyone else around me, wants

16:14

to talk about the war. I'm

16:18

afraid you found this out. It's

16:20

the very reason we came. We

16:22

did want to speak to you about the

16:24

war, but it's because... well,

16:27

we're so integral to it. I

16:30

am the one that calls the Wizards

16:32

to lose their immortality and to declare

16:34

Wizard Law. When I helped them devise

16:37

their very concept of Wizard Law, I

16:39

assumed we'd never be mad enough to

16:41

actually put it into action. I

16:44

assumed it was just a fallback position if

16:46

something really terrible happened. Wait, hold on. A

16:48

Yucidor, I hate to interrupt. Huh? Are

16:50

you saying that you devised Wizard Law originally?

16:53

Oh yeah. Oh definitely, yeah.

16:55

Barney, you loved it. I'm just saying... Well,

16:57

all the Wizards... We were saying this isn't his fault,

16:59

but it's more and more seeming like it is his

17:01

fault. All the Wizards agreed,

17:04

if anything so terrible

17:06

should ever happen, that we

17:09

felt like we were losing control of

17:11

Foon, that we could declare Wizard Law. But even

17:13

when the Dark Lord was at his very height

17:16

of power, we didn't declare Wizard

17:18

Law. And now they

17:20

lose their immortality, and they've declared Wizard

17:23

Law in my mind, illegally, because they're

17:25

doing it for their own self. You

17:27

keep saying vague, Asmoynes, but are you

17:29

not a wizard yourself? I

17:32

am, but outcast from

17:34

my very brethren am I,

17:36

and my sisters

17:38

too have turned their back on me.

17:41

I and all Wizards of

17:44

all genders and non-gendered Wizards have

17:46

all decided that I am unworthy

17:48

to stand amongst them, no

17:50

longer am I part of

17:53

their order. So

17:55

even though your background is a Wizarding

17:57

background, you don't necessarily act like a

17:59

wizard. Chunt, I think

18:01

you could learn something about battalions.

18:04

Chunt- Don't do the

18:06

voice. Chunt- Don't do the voice. Chunt- Don't

18:08

do the voice. Chunt- Now that you've brought

18:10

this foul subject around, Chunt- Yeah. Chunt-

18:12

there is something I must ask you, Gus-Minus. Gus-

18:15

Oh, we should take a quick break. Gus- Oh,

18:18

that should... you, Satori. Gus-

18:20

You really fucking are a foul clue here. Chunt- What do

18:22

you mean? Was that on the cards? It was on the

18:24

cards. Gus- It was on the cards. Gus- Yeah, okay. We'll

18:26

be right back. Chunt- No, you're right. Let's take a break.

18:28

Chunt- Take a break and have some

18:30

pitch. Chunt- Oh. Chunt- And forget about the

18:33

war altogether. Gus- Oh, in such poor taste.

18:35

Chunt- Oh, terrible. Gus- This is all his

18:37

fault. If

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I asked you how many subscriptions you have, would

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20:16

I love Pitch! It's

20:19

really good isn't it? This is aged

20:21

Pitch James. It's really on as as

20:23

such as. It's

20:26

a handsome flavors so of six really

20:28

boring ten minutes and whites and slate

20:30

V on the top And right. Ah,

20:33

that's a good pitch. Viscous. Very viscous.

20:35

Yeah, this is yes. Discuss. Ah, it's

20:37

good to be with old friends again.

20:40

I'll tell you because you can't trust

20:42

anyone Tomboy. And if I may, you

20:44

are one of my oldest friends and

20:46

all of whom you know I met

20:49

you way back in the second episode

20:51

of the show. We've been following your

20:53

progress all the way to being king.

20:56

And you are first and always

20:58

a. Second second episode.

21:00

so second and always from yeah

21:02

so fucking and always since so

21:05

few need anything from us is

21:07

good buds. Yeah. We're always

21:09

going to be there for you and

21:12

selflessly like we don't have like a

21:14

hidden agenda of something we need from

21:16

you. Especially now that you are very

21:18

powerful in this world. Ah yes yes

21:20

yes I yes. and it was. When

21:22

reminisce about these things I do remember

21:25

when we first met you and you

21:27

have you are in disguise. That

21:30

with Sammy Salter I saw through your disguise.

21:32

aba of video will never that. Many

21:36

years ago chance of so

21:38

much has changed. Each.

21:40

of us walking our own paths

21:42

and in a spy i've been

21:44

an author i've been a lady

21:46

had the many things have been

21:48

a series of bats yoga and

21:50

there's a guy i want to

21:52

say press group quip was his

21:54

name someone help me was his

21:56

name not ringing a bell anyway

21:58

we've been through many different adventures

22:00

together Oh, Krefnan! Oh, Krefnan! He's

22:02

one of my favorite short story

22:04

writers. Dead, I'm afraid. Oh

22:07

no, Krefnan died? It's O-Krefnan. Oh,

22:10

O-Krefnan died? O-Krefnan died, yes.

22:12

Oh, O-Krefnan died. Yes, O-Krefnan.

22:14

But what about Krefnan? Who's

22:17

Krefnan? The

22:20

author, O-Krefnan. Oh, do you know what?

22:23

I think I had a servant named Krefnan

22:25

once. I hope he's doing well.

22:27

Yes, I believe that's right. Do

22:31

you remember the time you wrote

22:33

a book? Yeah. Remember

22:36

the time when I think we were all in

22:38

a cave doing... You were doing the bat dance

22:40

and Arnie did the bat dance or something, and

22:42

Arnie became king for a minute? Remember that? That

22:44

was an act of funny. That was funny. It's

22:48

fun to think about these things and pause for

22:51

a minute. This

22:53

is a clip show, right? Oh,

22:56

shit. We should do a clip show. Arnie, are we

22:59

doing clips? It would be a lot less of a

23:01

burden for us to get an episode out, although we'd

23:03

have to collect the clips then. Ah, what I remember

23:05

is when you came upon me in the library. Oh,

23:11

sorry. I didn't know that someone was over there while I

23:13

was masturbating. Yes,

23:15

that was a good time, wasn't it? Thank

23:18

God we clipped that scene. It's like

23:20

the only audio clip that we always have handy. I

23:22

can't believe we haven't used it yet. Arnie, come on.

23:25

Bad choice of words. Handy. But it's

23:27

interesting that you bring up the

23:30

cave, Arnor. Oh.

23:33

Because... You

23:35

did become king for a moment, didn't you?

23:37

Well, just for like a second. It was

23:39

an accident. Just for a second. Yeah, I

23:41

feel like a goof. Yeah, it's not all

23:43

that serious. And hey, keeping with the clip

23:46

show, remember when that grasshopper knew all of

23:48

Usidor's names? I

23:50

am Usidor, wizard of the 12th realm of

23:52

Athesias, master of light and shadow, manipulator of

23:54

magical delights, devourer of chaos, champion of the

23:57

great halls of trackers, the elves, their mere

23:59

seeing, Yellick, the of dwarves know me as

24:01

their own in-hoop stenches, and why

24:03

am I doing this in the first person? She

24:06

is Youssou Doubt. Oh,

24:09

so he's been practicing, I see. I don't

24:11

even remember it exactly. It's funny

24:13

how you remember it one way and then hearing it

24:15

back is a little different. Well, that's why it's so

24:17

fun to have a clip show, because there's no way

24:19

to go back. You have to

24:21

actually see it. Oh, yes. That

24:24

is fun. But wait a minute. If

24:26

you did become king... Swoons,

24:30

could he be a threat to me? What?

24:32

Yes. I see it now, too. Don't

24:35

you? Don't you? Crazy. Crazy,

24:37

don't call me. This is a mock-off. If he's able

24:39

to take the throne from me... Why

24:42

is he walking over and talking

24:44

to that tapestry? ...bist against him.

24:47

Indeed, alone I

24:50

must rule northeast, yet else the wizards

24:52

will close in. Yes,

24:55

Arnie is a threat to me, and

24:57

therefore I must clutch my dagger close,

25:00

but they mustn't know friends. He's

25:03

leaving the pauses as if the tapestry was talking

25:06

back. Who was your friend over

25:08

there? Excuse me? You said Swoons

25:10

and then you talked to a tapestry? Oh, Swoons.

25:12

A typical, you know, a typical

25:15

curse. Ah, I'm drunk on pitch,

25:18

Eusidor. Yes? The time has come

25:20

for me to ask the question that

25:23

you must know that I have

25:25

to ask. Okay, well, I didn't want

25:27

to talk about me and Linda, but

25:29

during the break between seasons, we had a

25:31

quick affair. What was she? You'll never say.

25:35

She was the dream of a unicorn, and

25:37

it was never meant to be. She

25:42

was non-corpoil and... Don't tell us. Boop,

25:44

boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Sorry,

25:47

I'm finishing the rest of the pitch. Does anyone mind? I

25:50

actually grew up... No, go for it. You were

25:52

going to ask me about Linda, right? No, but

25:54

I'm glad that you shared such a vulnerable story.

25:58

No. I need

26:00

to ask you about a delicate subject. As

26:04

Minas. I. Must know

26:07

the secrets of Wizard com. O

26:11

Anything else? Ask me anything else.

26:13

your majesty and I shall surely

26:15

share. I know it's well guarded.

26:18

But. If I am to win this war,

26:21

I must Master Wizard com. Chant

26:24

thirty two Hearing what I'm hearing. So this

26:26

is a chance and on he might not

26:28

know what this is. I

26:30

have read ancient tomes and

26:32

grim was that there is

26:34

a spell summoning spell Cold

26:36

Wizard com. Were

26:39

in some incantation will bring

26:41

a wizard from any location.

26:44

Into. The location of our choosing

26:46

used to door guess minus my

26:48

old friend is Wizard com real?

26:50

It's true. it can be difficult

26:52

to make a wizard com by.

26:54

I knew it. The first

26:57

thing you have to do. Is.

26:59

Stand in a T spot One.

27:01

Oh, it's in the fields, right?

27:03

You've talked about the Wizard com

27:05

fields or shortened I guess the

27:07

Wc. That's right. You. Must stand

27:10

in the g spot. And. Then

27:12

you must think. Think.

27:14

About anything except making the wizard

27:16

comes. To. And sustain

27:18

that it that as far as long

27:20

as you can read in that way

27:22

if you don't focus on making the

27:24

was a com. You. Might have

27:26

a chance of making the wizard com glass

27:29

of warm up before the spell and any.

27:31

Well yeah, you have to weigh a world

27:33

of your steady r G spot. You want

27:35

to make sure you're standing there tall and

27:37

erect. interesting and did you spot

27:39

a oh wow it's the most important

27:41

spot in the ground and it is

27:43

located fly well you gotta you gotta

27:45

fly it ended up easy meals okay

27:47

yeah you gotta find that it's so

27:49

suddenly nice thing to find he does

27:51

ever think about mittens when you're trying

27:53

to come a after standing there tall

27:55

interact on the g spot as you

27:57

think about mins so we think about

27:59

making them it come and

28:01

if you think about mittens and you're really focused.

28:04

Does anyone else think this sounds a

28:06

bit like sex? I'm sorry? How so?

28:09

No, it's all the things that we're saying they

28:11

sound a bit like sex. I didn't turn into

28:13

a rack of ribs or... No,

28:16

maybe it's just me. Maybe it's

28:18

just me. I'm not hearing it. Okay,

28:21

I shouldn't laugh at that but

28:24

oh my god that is a good battalion accent. Well

28:28

if there's a way, show me the G-spot on

28:30

this map. Let me

28:32

move the man in the little bow. Well

28:34

I think roughly... Well your

28:37

two fingers are just kind of circling one area.

28:39

A lot. Yeah, I mean it's around

28:41

here. You're

28:43

doing like a come hither motion with your two fingers

28:45

on the map. That could be like hundreds of miles.

28:48

I mean like yeah it's there somewhere

28:50

for sure. Well we're going to have

28:52

to find it and I'm going to

28:54

have to find Arnie's loyalty. Or

28:57

if he were to threaten my

28:59

throne... Jones! I must have

29:01

him. Back to the... I have one.

29:04

Street. They have poison is the way. Yes,

29:07

foul pitch thrown at just the

29:09

right time. Arnie!

29:11

Yo, yeah? Tom! Good

29:13

friend. Good buddy. Another

29:16

glass of pitch. Oh thank you. I've had my

29:18

fill pitch. Oh. I'll have

29:20

some. Come on pitch. What?

29:23

Don't be a little pitch. No.

29:26

Oh is that 22 ounces of pitch? Don't

29:29

be a 22 ounce pitch. Come on. Wait

29:32

hold on. I know what that means. You're

29:34

trying to murder me. Oh. Well listen.

29:37

Yes, I do remember when you were a

29:39

cup. When you were a 22 ounce cup. And

29:42

yes, I've buried many knives in you. Knives

29:45

like this one. Hold this for a second. Arnie,

29:51

that one threw your hand into your stomach. You gotta

29:53

catch knives. I know. I'm stuck to

29:55

my stomach now. It's kind of comforting in a weird

29:57

way. But I mean the knife part is not. feels

30:00

really bad. But kind of having my hands stuck

30:02

to my stomach is... Ah,

30:04

it's kind of relaxing. Yeah. Who can

30:06

I count on? What? Who is loyal

30:08

to me, Chunt? Yeah, I'll do whatever

30:10

you need, buddy. Of

30:13

course, your Majesty. You're a wizard.

30:16

How can I trust a wizard? How

30:18

can I trust a badger? How can

30:20

I trust one who would take my

30:22

throne from me? Well, you shouldn't trust

30:24

anyone that's going to try to take

30:26

your throne from you, of course. From

30:28

his own lips. From the

30:30

lips of the man who would

30:32

do it. Indeed, so my friend

30:35

is my enemy now, is he?

30:37

No. No, no, no,

30:39

your Majesty. Arnie just

30:41

means if someone were going to take

30:43

your throne, say, someone who, you know,

30:45

also did the bat dance

30:48

in the cave, they would be

30:50

someone who was trying to take your

30:52

throne. In fact, there may be factions

30:54

already at work proclaiming that person to

30:56

be king, undermining your very

30:59

legitimate claim to the throne. That reminds me, I've

31:01

been getting a lot of mail from Benedict Whisper

31:03

Brew. I haven't really opened any of it yet,

31:05

but he seems to want to get in contact

31:08

with me about something. Factions. Arnie,

31:11

you may not know it, but

31:13

you are the cat's paw of a

31:15

faction that would try to destabilize North

31:18

Whisper. Arnie is terrible at

31:20

factions. He can't do math at all.

31:22

Yeah. But I like being a cat's

31:24

paw. Let me give you this denominator.

31:27

I will give you a head start of

31:29

three days, and after that,

31:33

you will face my

31:35

blade. Please,

31:38

let's de-escalate this conversation here. Yeah. Face

31:41

your blade? Is he going to send his main

31:43

vampire killer after me? Let's

31:46

enjoy some nice pitch, and this time let's

31:49

not get our own cup. Let's have a

31:51

whole picture. Fine. A picture

31:54

of pitch, please. Oh, and

31:56

your majesty, I would be willing- Pitch, please.

32:00

Oh, he's talking back to the staff. Come on,

32:02

Pitch. Pitch, please.

32:05

Really giving it to that grasshopper. Your

32:07

Majesty, I'd also be willing to drink

32:09

some field tea to prove my loyalty

32:11

to you. Ah, yes. If

32:14

you drink the field tea, it bonds you

32:16

to me. It binds you to me, in

32:18

fact. Oh. Yes, a pitcher

32:20

of field tea, please. Whoops,

32:23

I like that. You're gonna be all bound up.

32:25

Which Teenage Me is pretty

32:27

excited about. Let's take another

32:29

quick break and think about how

32:32

we feel about these loyalty oaths. Can

32:34

someone pull his knife out of me? Ryan

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34:15

Chunk, you sit up. Did I

34:17

do something to upset Tom? I...

34:20

he seemed to... I mean look, he stabbed me many

34:22

times in the past and I didn't take it personally, but...

34:25

He seems to be upset with me for

34:27

some reason. Yeah, I just brought up a

34:29

hypothetical scenario where someone else had done the

34:31

bat dance in the bat cave and so

34:33

I could undermine the legitimacy of his claim

34:36

to the throne and I mean... I

34:38

didn't really think this through but I suppose you

34:41

actually have done that. Yeah, I mean, I was

34:43

accidentally king briefly but I said I didn't want

34:45

to do it and so he and his sister

34:47

are king. I'm pretty sure that was a couple

34:49

of years ago but we... when that happened we did

34:51

say it's good to be the king, right? We must have.

34:53

We must have. Probably

34:55

said it several times, not hearing one another doing

34:57

it. Oh, I have an idea. This is a

34:59

clip show, right? Mm-hmm. Uh, hey, king. Remember

35:02

that time in the... in the cave where...

35:06

I think we got it wrong. Arnie didn't do

35:08

the bat dance? Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Arnie,

35:11

why are you just standing there not doing the bat

35:13

dance? Because I would never do that to a dear

35:15

friend. Oh, Arnie, you'll never be king that way, which

35:17

is great. It's good to not be the king. It

35:19

would be good to be the king. No one else

35:22

said that. It would be good to be the king.

35:24

Oh, it's good to be the king for sure. It

35:26

would be good to be the king. Whoop, whoop, whoop,

35:28

whoop. I don't remember

35:30

it that way. Oh. That's

35:32

the way these episodes go. But that was

35:34

a real clip, wasn't it? I

35:36

think so. I thought you were at the clip show.

35:39

I mean, you did hear the whoop, whoop, whoop, didn't

35:41

you? Yes. Well, it was hard for me to tell

35:43

if that was Chunt finishing off his pitch or if

35:45

it was the whoop, whoop, whoop of the dream going

35:47

back. Oh,

35:49

memory is unreliable. Perhaps this has

35:51

finally put this to rest. Well,

35:53

I think memory may be unreliable,

35:55

but this clip show is interesting. Certainly

35:58

everyone remembers the first time. that

36:00

audience, Chaunk kissed, woop woop woop woop.

36:03

Okay, Chaunk, we're about to go in

36:05

and talk to King Belleroth. Yeah? I'll

36:08

start the episode in just a minute, but it'll

36:10

really calm my nerves. Before we go in and

36:12

pitch this, wow, it's happening. It's happening. Chaunk, it's

36:14

happening. It's happening. Just kiss me just a little

36:17

bit, but like a friend kiss. But like a

36:19

little bit of an edge, but a friend kiss

36:21

mostly. I kissed the charger next door. Yeah,

36:24

just a hint of possibility. Eyes open or close?

36:26

Mmm, one of each. Cheat or no teeth? Woop

36:28

woop woop woop woop woop. That

36:30

clip goes on for so long. Yeah. Oh,

36:33

that's a good clip, because I

36:35

can remember the first time I imagined the two

36:37

of you kissing. Woop woop woop

36:40

woop woop woop woop woop woop. Ah,

36:43

well, off to bed then for me. Wait,

36:46

before you go to bed, King, would

36:49

you like a little show? Oh,

36:51

Chaunk, what are you doing here? Oh,

36:54

nothing. Tugs

36:56

on leash. Come in here, bad

36:58

boy. Awny?

37:00

I'm here too. This

37:02

is my Awny knee-camp impression. Incredible.

37:05

Core, blind me. Would you like

37:08

it if we cut a hole

37:10

in this tapestry and kissed through the whole

37:12

king? Woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop. But

37:14

enough about my fantasy life. Huh, that was

37:17

not what I was expecting going on in

37:19

your mind. Wild. Well,

37:22

your majesty, your

37:24

proclivities aside, you

37:27

see now that there's no reason to

37:29

be upset with Awny and give him

37:31

a three-day set start before you try

37:33

to kill him. There's no threat

37:35

to your claim to the throne. I

37:39

mean, other than, I guess, potentially your sister who's always

37:41

been trying to kill you. Indeed.

37:44

The only threat would be if someone had tried

37:46

to tamper with my memory. And

37:49

why would they do that? Why

37:51

would someone insert something that wasn't supposed

37:54

to be there? What

37:56

the fuck is this Starbucks cup doing on

37:58

my table? Ernie,

38:01

the starbuck is a stag

38:03

that races across the night

38:05

sky, helping to carry the stars

38:07

from one end of the moon to the other so

38:09

that the entire land can share in

38:11

the light and glistening and magic

38:14

of the stars. No shit, Chunt.

38:16

Everyone knows what a starbuck is. The

38:19

question is, why is it on my

38:21

war table except as an omen? An

38:24

omen to tell me that something is

38:26

a miss. And I

38:28

think that miss is a mister. A

38:31

Mr. Arnie Kneecap. Er, Er,

38:33

Er, Er, Ernie, quick, kiss

38:35

me. Erm, OK, but

38:37

here's the thing. It's mostly friend

38:39

kiss, but just... A hint of possibility,

38:42

OK? OK, when I open, when I

38:44

close... OK. Mmm... Yeah,

38:46

that's it. Yup, that looks weirder than

38:48

I thought it would even would. Yeah. Mmm...

38:52

Please don't draw that. Yup. Please, fans,

38:54

don't draw this. Well, yeah. I don't know what to do

38:56

with my hands. Close your eyes.

38:59

Sorry, I think I'm pushing the dagger

39:01

in deeper. Oh, yeah, that's right. No

39:03

one's taken the dagger out. When you

39:05

wait nine years for something, and then

39:07

it happens, it's either

39:09

the show will get better from here

39:11

or this is just the end. It

39:14

is. Sort of. I

39:16

think it really happened. I think it's finally

39:18

happened. So many people have

39:20

been waiting, and here it is,

39:22

twice. Twice in one episode. Bloop, bloop, bloop,

39:24

bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. King, what were you doing? I was just thinking,

39:26

your eyes glazed over for a minute. What's

39:29

that? Oh, sorry. Eh, woof. It

39:32

is hard running a wow, you know what I mean?

39:35

Yes. I assume it takes quite a toll

39:38

on the... I have

39:40

all sorts of tinctures and

39:42

ointments and potions that could

39:44

help your endurance during this

39:46

time, help you feel fresher

39:49

and awake, ready to take

39:51

on the challenges of preparing for an all-out

39:54

war against the wizards. Yeah, throw it in

39:56

the pitch. Throw some tincture

39:58

in my pitch. Okay, here's

40:00

a little... Hey, can I ask

40:02

you something? Yeah. Have you heard

40:04

people calling it... WOW-1?

40:08

Yes, I'm afraid I have. Well, why

40:10

do they do that? Well, if

40:13

the prophecy comes to pass, there shall be

40:15

a... a second WOW.

40:18

Oh, thank God. Oh, so you're saying this

40:20

could be a multi-season thing. Yes, and,

40:23

uh... Certainly... You're not the

40:25

wizard to end all wars. It's... Yes,

40:27

some people would say it's the great

40:29

WOW, and... some

40:32

more forward-thinking have

40:34

decided to number them. But... Oh,

40:36

help us all if WOW-3 ever

40:39

comes to pass. Well, but... I

40:41

mean, what... Why are we certain there's gonna be

40:43

a WOW-2? I mean,

40:45

let's just have this one and finish it, you know?

40:47

Let's not make, like, a

40:49

fucked-up treaty at the end that basically just puts

40:51

it on pause for 10 or 15 years and

40:54

then come back to it. And,

40:56

you know, let's just really, like, finish

40:59

it so that we don't leave the

41:01

seeds of an aggrieved party to then

41:03

abuse the Alliance again. Do you know

41:05

what I'm saying? Yes. Can we at

41:08

least all agree that if we get...

41:10

if, you know, goddesses forbid we get

41:12

to a WOW-4 or something, that number

41:14

just starts to feel ridiculous. Can we

41:17

then just get rid

41:19

of the number and do something like

41:21

WOW Origins... or WOW

41:23

The Quickening, like, just sort of spice it

41:25

up a little bit. Can I just say,

41:28

can we not just do... So, let's say

41:30

we've done six of them and

41:32

then just decide to drop the

41:34

numbers entirely and then the new one is

41:36

just called WOW as if... That's confusing.

41:39

...nothing ever happened. You know what I'm saying?

41:41

You can't call it the same... the very

41:43

same thing, no matter how many years have

41:45

gone by. And it's not enough to call

41:47

it VWOVW, because

41:50

that's also just as confusing. No, it's the same.

41:52

No, it's the same. I

41:54

disagree. I feel like if all of

41:56

food is wiped out and then magically

41:58

a new population arises... Then I

42:00

feel like we could restart at WOW,

42:02

like, it's just a wee... It's a

42:04

complete, a complete re-food. Yeah, it's completely

42:06

new civilians, completely new magical creatures. Then

42:08

I feel like it's okay. I don't

42:10

think if there's any continuity at all,

42:12

you have to use numbers or you

42:14

have to slightly change the name. We

42:16

should have at least some legacy warriors

42:18

in there, like, maybe they die early

42:21

in the war, but just, like, to

42:23

get a, just a little taste of

42:25

the original warriors. Does it feel to

42:27

you like we're talking about sex? Mm-hmm.

42:29

Yeah, very much so this time. Yeah.

42:33

Because, yeah, at first I thought

42:35

we were talking about the wars and numbering

42:37

them, but then the more the details that

42:39

we filled in, they felt like

42:41

the details that apply to sex. I

42:43

agree. Because I know everything about sex.

42:45

Oh, I know a ton about it.

42:47

No, I do too. Oh, same. I'm

42:50

basically an expert in sex. Oh, heavens,

42:52

yeah. No, no, no, no. I'd say

42:54

sex expert, but I know you said

42:56

somebody else already took that. Oh,

42:58

Your Majesty, I forgot to mention this

43:00

before. I know this seems like a

43:02

bit of a non sequitur, but you

43:05

want, we were recording the beginning

43:08

of this episode before we

43:10

were ushered into

43:12

your chamber here by Quare,

43:15

and I believe right at

43:17

the very beginning of this episode, Arnie

43:19

said, I'm not evil. Yeah.

43:23

So does that put your mind at ease? No. Really?

43:25

What doesn't? No.

43:29

Why would someone say that? Right?

43:32

I think that good should be a

43:34

pure assumption, and yet Arnie feels the

43:36

need to say he's not evil. Yeah,

43:38

I kind of thought the same thing. It is

43:40

weird. It was an odd thing to say. Yeah,

43:42

it was an odd thing to say, but I

43:44

was hoping that you would think it was a

43:47

very normal thing to say. Well, at first I

43:49

thought, well, it's something, it's a carryover from the

43:51

previous episode, referencing something that I don't

43:53

understand. But now that you've called attention to

43:55

it, it seems a bit more out of

43:57

the blue. Yeah, yeah. And I don't mean

43:59

it. out of a blue wizard,

44:01

I mean out of the clear blue sky

44:03

which we can see all around us because

44:05

we are at an amazing height. Oh,

44:08

Arnie, he just put another knife in your other

44:10

hand. How do

44:12

you like two knife hands? Both

44:15

of my hands are stuck to my belly

44:17

like some cheap figurine. Here,

44:19

give me these knives. You could even afford the

44:21

hands to go out. What? Give

44:23

me these knives. Here, and I'm gonna hit you with

44:25

the healing rock. No! Ow!

44:30

Alright, at least I'm

44:32

not bleeding anymore. Guess minus. Yes.

44:36

Kill Arnie. What? What? I

44:39

command you as your king to show

44:42

your loyalty and you have drank

44:44

the loyalty to kill Arnie

44:46

and use Chunt to do it. What?

44:50

Stab Arnie with Chunt. Oh

44:53

no. Oh, this is also something the

44:55

fans have always wanted to see. Yes sir, should we

44:57

do it? Should we do the speedball? Come

45:00

on, bub. Toss me. Throw me as hard

45:02

as you can. Time! No,

45:04

this colossus ends here. I

45:06

say this unto thee, your majesty, if

45:08

you do not trust Arnie, who

45:11

I trust above all others, for

45:13

I have plans upon plans, plans

45:16

that have been set in motion for

45:18

years, years in the making,

45:20

that you shall ne'er understand. You

45:23

must trust me. No, I

45:25

saw it. They kissed. No. No,

45:27

you must trust me. You must trust the wizards.

45:29

That's what we've been set in motion for years and they

45:31

did it. No, that's not it. That's not what I've been

45:33

doing. Look, your majesty,

45:36

if you trust me as

45:38

a pure force of magic brought into this

45:40

world, as a champion of goodness

45:42

and light, then you will not

45:44

make me do this thing. And if you command me to

45:47

do it, then beware

45:49

the consequences. What

45:53

did your voice just do? Beware!

45:57

I feel like this pitch isn't going to work. as

46:00

well as it could. That's unsettling. I think the

46:02

pitch is delicious. I think it's you who's not

46:04

going as well as he could. And you sir,

46:06

I should say, um, if you threw me and

46:09

we killed Arnie, I was okay

46:11

with that because we could just clip show

46:13

him back to life, right? Wouldn't

46:15

that be like a funny games to just like

46:17

rewind and like clip show him back to life?

46:20

Hold Chunt! I must have an

46:22

answer from this king. Do

46:25

you wish me to kill

46:27

Arnie? Or do

46:29

you believe that the goddesses have a greater

46:31

plan? I trust

46:33

you, Gethmoines, but I cannot trust

46:35

him and so he shall

46:38

face my blade. Whoa,

46:40

that's a much bigger sword. Yeah, it's the king

46:42

sword. It's the king sword. This is the king

46:44

sword. That is nice. That is a nice sword.

46:47

You don't fuck around with it. It's the king

46:49

sword. It was my... Come here, see

46:51

it. Arnie, you're doing... What in the

46:53

fuck are you doing? You literally just walked into it.

46:55

You literally just walked into it. You just grabbed my

46:58

sleeve. Arnie, grab my

47:00

other sleeve. Okay. And here we go!

47:02

Oh, his wizard sleeves are slowing

47:04

us down. A phrase I didn't

47:06

think I'd say. We

47:10

are really high up. Mystical

47:13

armor, speculative transform now

47:15

into a giant silver hawk.

47:18

I mean, I can also turn into a hawk if

47:21

that's needed. I changed my arm into a

47:23

giant hawk. Do you also want to be a hawk? We have

47:25

two hawks. Yeah, I'll be a hawk. Oh,

47:28

this armor is so tight around me. Just

47:31

ride on the hawk. We've got a hawk. We

47:33

are so... We're still falling. Hey, fuck you,

47:35

king! Fuck you!

47:38

I feel like that could have gone better. I feel like that could

47:40

have gone a lot better. Arnie,

47:43

I am so sorry that I put you in harm's

47:45

way. Whatever happens, whatever

47:48

transpires now and moving

47:50

forward, you must

47:52

remain safe. Arnie will

47:54

protect you, okay? We've taken some time

47:56

off to train for this. I mean, we're

47:59

ready to protect you. And you sir Arnie

48:01

and I are ready to protect you. Yeah,

48:03

Tom and I are good friends besides

48:05

you two. He's my oldest friend

48:07

in all of food. Like he'll get over

48:10

it. He is no longer our ally. Honey

48:12

look up. He's riding that tapestry down towards

48:14

us. What? He's riding her

48:16

tapestry towards us. Here I come

48:18

motherfuckers. Oh no. How

48:20

is he? How does he have a flying tapestry? It's

48:23

a whole new world. I

48:25

don't know if it's magical. He's just on it and falling.

48:28

Yeah, he's falling pretty much directly. Straight

48:30

down. Little help please. Oh fuck.

48:35

He still leaves the greatest army in all of

48:37

food. Although, we haven't looked at that table. It's not as

48:40

impressive as I thought it was. Yeah,

48:42

right? Right, fine. I'll use

48:44

a mage hand to push him back into the castle. That

48:46

off-turn. Oh god damn

48:48

it. I

48:52

bet that reminded him of sex too. Guys, I was

48:54

hoping that we were going to spend like five or

48:56

six episodes in Northesia, catch up with all the people

48:58

we know in Northesia, but it seems like we gotta

49:01

get the shit out of here. Yes.

49:04

Quickly. Yeah, into the wanderlust. And

49:06

away! Who

49:16

says we're not willing to steal plot points

49:18

directly from the Dungeons and Dragons movie? Not

49:21

me! Frozen or the Wizard,

49:23

Gravity Defying Sleeves and All was

49:25

played by Matt Young. Chant the

49:28

Talking Badger was played by Adol

49:30

Raffae. King Tom Blaine Belleroth was

49:32

played by Steve Waltin. Steve

49:34

is a Peabody Award winning writer

49:36

for The Late Show with Stephen

49:39

Colbert, but more importantly, creator and

49:41

star of a new series of

49:43

educational YouTube videos, Yoga for Ganglymen.

49:45

Do your strangely angular elbows pose a

49:48

real threat to your fellow Matt-mates?

49:51

Does your downward dog look like a

49:53

flamingo fighting itself? Let Steve's

49:55

Vermont-infused confidence help you get out of

49:57

your head and back on the mat.

50:00

Hello from the Magic Tavern is an

50:02

independent production made possible by supporters of

50:04

the Magic Tavern Patreon supporters

50:07

like Stefan Tina

50:09

Charlie Monroe Emmanuel

50:11

G Brendan Kelly

50:13

Zach Dewoody Zach Stasch

50:16

Christopher Mills Isaac Sherman

50:19

and met Kenji Davis Nikki

50:22

Pizarro Daniel B. Devon

50:24

Rusnak Moose William

50:27

Gillis Eric Lancaster

50:29

Justin Miller Martin Zastrow

50:32

Troy Williams Alexis CF

50:35

Fabio from Vienna Jonas

50:37

Rosborg Rosendahl of Denmark

50:41

I feel like I should wait for a

50:43

trumpet fanfare. Did we need the entire title

50:45

Jonas? You're supporting a patreon not swearing your

50:47

loyalty to Elrond and Finally

50:49

Michael K. Patrons get ad-free episodes

50:51

the entire back catalogue including all

50:53

the previous spin-offs and at least

50:55

you Do bonus episodes each month?

50:57

Here's a clip of the latest

50:59

bonus episode where Arnie Chunt and

51:02

Youssador try to understand the Earth

51:04

Comics strip Apartment 3G. All

51:06

right, I was told we would run out

51:08

of meaningful topics at some point and today

51:10

may be the day Here's the clip Yeah,

51:13

and the guy's name is lunch bag and the comic is

51:15

titled The order and

51:18

we also see him at work, but there's no words

51:20

and we just see him accumulating Money

51:23

to spend on a sandwich that he'll

51:25

eventually buy. Can I say and I

51:27

mean this sincerely When

51:29

you said his name is lunch bag, I

51:31

slowly am starting to like this idea now

51:33

like why am I liking it? Yeah, the

51:36

comics are pretty good. A guy named lunch

51:38

bag and it's just an order like lunch

51:40

or like a lunch focused comic Yes,

51:42

kind of into this now, right? What's

51:45

one thing people have to do

51:47

every day eat lunch? Mm-hmm

51:50

You don't have to you get to do we

51:53

think Wilbur and Wendell this

51:55

manuscript is Another

51:57

stupid comic like oh Is

52:00

this like a comic within the comic? Oh,

52:02

that's a good idea. Has anyone ever done

52:04

that on Earth, Arnie? I don't know, meta

52:07

stuff? Not a good idea, Matt. To

52:10

hear the rest, if you must,

52:12

and to learn more about supporting

52:14

the show, visit patreon.com/Magic Tavern. Hello

52:16

from the Magic Tavern is produced

52:18

by Arnie Neekamp, Matt Young, and

52:21

Adil Rify. Post-production coordination by Garrett

52:23

Schultz. Associate producer, Anna Haverman. This

52:25

episode edited by Anna Haverman. Hello

52:27

from the Magic Tavern logo by

52:29

Allard Leban. Magic Tavern theme

52:32

by Andy Poland. They're

52:42

gone, and now it's just

52:44

me, remembering all the wonderful

52:47

times we had together. Like

52:50

this one. Yeah.

52:55

And that one. Yep.

53:00

They've been some really good times.

53:03

But, when all is said and

53:06

done, I'm still gonna have to hunt him

53:08

down and kill him. More

53:11

pitch, please. You

53:13

got it, Arnie. Should

53:15

we kiss while drinking pitch?

53:18

Sure. Yeah. Do

53:20

it. Do it. Get him.

53:22

Get him. Your Majesty,

53:24

are you ready for me to go out into the field yet? Oh,

53:28

yes. Fabrizio, thank you so much. Wait,

53:31

they're stupid Italians. Yes, sir. Hey,

53:34

hey, what are you doing? That's really offensive. No,

53:36

I'm saying maybe two battalions. All

53:38

right, you two. Get out in the field and

53:40

kiss. When you hear your

53:42

loyalty, yes, sir. No.

53:46

No. No. trials

54:00

of the man accused of killing them. Up

54:03

and coming rapper YNW Melly gained

54:05

notoriety in the hip-hop world for

54:07

his shocking lyrics and criminal exploits.

54:10

When two of his best friends were

54:12

gunned down in a drive-by shooting, investigators

54:14

suspected the young rapper staged the

54:16

scene. But after not one

54:18

but two trials that ended in hung juries

54:21

and new evidence that may place YNW

54:23

Melly at the scene of the crime,

54:25

his trial has been paused indefinitely.

54:28

With countless twists and turns.

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