Episode Transcript
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2:00
the show. Over
2:23
the Magic Tavern weekly podcast from the
2:26
Magical Way into Food I'm your host
2:28
or any camp. I'm not evil. I
2:30
swear that wasn't always video, never little
2:32
podcast before. This is everything you need
2:34
to know. Nine years ago, I fell
2:36
through a dimensional portal pine the Burger
2:39
King in Chicago into the Magical Fantastical
2:41
and the Film. Luckily I'm still getting
2:43
a wife. I signal through the dimensional
2:45
rift that I used to upload a
2:47
podcast currently being recorded in Ne yeah,
2:50
the cap of the Northeast. As we're
2:52
waiting to see King. com blame
2:54
Belarus Northeast, he believes, on a
2:56
I know that we have the
2:58
wander last circling the castle in
3:00
May to pick us up but.
3:03
I must admit to I know
3:06
you haven't introduced myself or challenge
3:08
yet butter I'm. Says
3:11
all my fault. Sry have
3:14
allowed the wizards to remain immortal. Now
3:18
they're each becoming war lords of
3:20
their own areas of food causing
3:22
this. There's a wizard war coming
3:25
and we must get the help
3:27
of King Bell or off it's
3:29
our only chance of mine from
3:31
your body know of such as
3:34
you're not responsible for the wow.
3:37
We're on wizards, everyone's calling it
3:39
while now. Okay now hey buddy,
3:42
this isn't your fault. Of use
3:44
that up for what you believe in
3:46
and we back you don't We are
3:48
earning exactly And look, we've all made
3:50
mistakes. We if we focused on all
3:52
the mistakes we collectively made squid to
3:54
keep moving forward. Like. A
3:56
shark with little introspection. We're
4:00
here. We're going to pitch
4:02
to our old friend now
4:05
King Tumbling Belarus joining forces
4:07
with us despite the wizards.
4:09
Were going to fix everything but a
4:11
lot rides on this meeting. Yeah, use
4:13
it or he did everything right. We
4:15
love you. Okay, we back you and
4:17
we're gonna. We're to get through this.
4:19
Okay, we're going through this. Wow is
4:21
it would be great to get through
4:23
this. It would have been even better
4:26
the to be dressed up of I
4:28
mean except. They react
4:30
in a manner awning. This is
4:32
what I almost always where I
4:34
know look at. I brought some
4:36
visual aids, I brought this evil
4:38
and this poster. Board like so, the
4:40
he can visualize it would cut, have
4:43
you guys are practice your parts of
4:45
the of the pitch I have my
4:47
memorized I? Sick. You so
4:50
much for an audience. Now to
4:52
the pitch deck. And then of
4:54
course use or comes in with his index cards. Has
4:58
this ever happened to you? Is or as isn't Isn't.
5:01
Team better off as this ever happened to
5:03
you. Have.
5:05
You ever. Cause. All
5:07
of the other wizards to lose their
5:09
immortality as was your own immortality. And
5:11
then. Had to fight a war
5:14
against your own brother and I'm sure
5:16
somebody coming summer coming out of a
5:18
thumb. I. Have
5:20
a civic to her. Say.
5:23
Hi Yes, yes we are! Thank you so
5:25
much! Your name is. The.
5:28
Last. Was. Higher
5:30
class, close to my.
5:33
Fair. Share.
5:35
Your narrative spare time. Access
5:39
Api. In whom no
5:41
first thing first thing we know where the
5:43
last. Fall. i may fall
5:45
i'm on my ass just hold on
5:47
we can keep up with you know
5:50
i'm very fact yourself so such beliefs
5:52
not a pain in the how it's
5:54
a service dog also that was not
5:56
the first thing i noticed about like
5:58
spawn worth of with hat. What?
6:01
Oh, you'll notice that I make
6:03
grasshopper in the hat. Yeah,
6:05
it's like a, is that a dandelion or? It
6:08
is the flower of
6:10
my choosing. Of course, uh, very
6:12
good hat. He doesn't know what kind of flower it
6:14
is. Somebody put it on there and he can't get
6:16
it off because they don't have hands. He still chose
6:18
it. You still chose it. Announcing... what are
6:21
your names? Oh, uh, I'm Arnie, Arnie
6:24
Kneecamp. I'm from another world, greatest warrior
6:26
on all the phone. I'm not evil.
6:28
Announcing Arnie Kneecamp from another world, the
6:30
greatest warrior on all of phone. Not
6:32
evil. I'm Chunt, uh, shape shifter, but
6:34
usually a badger. Announcing Chunt, a shape
6:36
shifter, but usually a badger. And I,
6:38
of course, am use to a wizard
6:40
of the 12th realm of the Theseus
6:43
master of light and shadow, manipulator of
6:45
magical delights, devourer of chaos, champion of
6:47
the great halls of Tarakas, known to
6:49
the elves as Fjangalak, known to the
6:51
dwarves as Zerren who extenders and known throughout the
6:53
northeast as Gatsmanius Maestar, but I may have many
6:55
other secret names that I don't wish to announce
6:57
here. Announcing
7:00
Youssadar, wizard
7:02
of the 12th realm of a
7:04
Theseus, master of light and shadow,
7:06
manipulator of magical delights, devourer of
7:08
chaos, champion of the great
7:10
halls of Tarakas, the elves know
7:12
him as Fjangalak, the dwarves known
7:14
him as Zerren who extenders and
7:16
he's known in the northeast as
7:18
Gatsmanius Maestar, and there may be
7:20
other secret names that you
7:22
do not know. Andralla,
7:25
yes, yes, yes, enough. My
7:28
friends, ignore the grasshopper. Come
7:31
in. It's hard to ignore the grasshopper.
7:36
And be set with the wow. Our
7:39
apologies, your majesty. We
7:42
do not wish to burden me further, but
7:44
we have come here today to
7:46
ask a great boon of the Chant. Yes,
7:49
speaking of the wow, war on wizards,
7:52
has this ever happened to you? Thank
7:54
you for having me. To
8:00
not speak of the war, but to speak
8:02
of friendships. This
8:04
table is crowded with the
8:07
very things that make a
8:09
war. the figurines that represent
8:11
my soldiers like battlements, my
8:13
very creatures that spread all
8:15
throughout soon. as well as
8:17
the last known position of
8:19
every wizard. and this Starbucks
8:21
cup. Persecuted their
8:23
low so week. According to this
8:26
table with the figurines, you only
8:28
have fifteen giant men out. There
8:30
were, oh sorry. The giant
8:32
men represent a battalion. Ah,
8:35
and each battalion has one
8:37
man. Some. Humphrey hovering
8:39
as well. They're different sizes, but
8:41
his men represents the battalion, and
8:43
a battalion is a company of
8:46
one. So just count up the
8:48
number of these battalions, your know,
8:51
The. More important thing is finding out
8:53
where the wizards the hiding yes which
8:55
is why or why we've asked. Audience
8:57
with you are getting some to deceive
9:00
you great by the way to arm
9:02
or we wanted to have a bit
9:04
of a pitch session with you are
9:07
indeed bring some sweets pits Each one
9:09
of you my friends with have a
9:11
tough a sweet pitch with me and
9:14
we may suggest our tears. You know
9:16
that my coach queen is in the
9:18
Highlands. And time
9:21
left. Here to manage the war
9:23
by myself. The last thing I want
9:25
to speak of, his masses of state
9:27
trump regaled me with what? what? What
9:30
has. Brought you great
9:32
joy of late on the
9:34
pitch. Enjoy this pitch. It
9:36
comes directly from trees with
9:39
squeezes. To
9:41
Images Arizona the bottom of my lip here
9:43
in New. Flavor.
9:46
Ah, let's have a good
9:48
old fashioned pitch session, shall
9:50
we? Indeed indeed.
9:53
Yes, Mariam. What
9:57
does that texture? How would you describe that? I'd
9:59
say. tacky. Oh well
10:01
I think it's in wonderful taste.
10:04
You know, when you
10:06
reach a certain level it's hard to
10:09
know what is tacky and what isn't.
10:11
I'm a king now so everything's gold and at
10:13
first I thought, well that's a
10:16
bit tacky isn't it? But really it
10:18
needs to be because, and this
10:20
was explained to me, that you
10:23
want to project a kingly image
10:25
for everyone that's around and you don't
10:28
want anybody to come to the palace,
10:30
especially now that we need to recruit all kinds
10:32
of troops and things and think, oh he's not
10:34
much of a king is he? Oh yeah, can
10:36
I just say a tacky king is so gauche.
10:39
Oh it's gauche, yes, yes. So
10:42
what we do is we cover
10:44
everything in gold and that
10:46
seems to do it, you know? Yes,
10:49
you've recruited upwards of
10:52
15 soldiers it seems. Well
10:54
yes, each one of these men represents a
10:56
battalion. A battalion, yes. But
10:59
the battalion is made up of a single soldier,
11:01
am I correct? Am I understanding, am I following
11:03
that? Well yes, these are the
11:06
battalion soldiers so all of these are from
11:08
battalion and each... I'm
11:10
from a battalion! Sorry I can't hear it.
11:12
Okay that's offensive, that's offensive. Yeah, even though
11:15
I thought someone we could do. Well
11:17
no, look I mean I wouldn't
11:20
say that in front of a battalion. Okay. And so
11:22
that's sort of a litmus test
11:24
for knowing, you know, because they're not all
11:26
like that. Arne a litmus test is
11:28
a test where if you fail it you have to
11:31
actually you must add it to your list.
11:33
So let me take out my little list
11:36
here. Okay. Don't do battalion accents. Thank you
11:38
for that king, I appreciate it.
11:40
Your highness, you know I hate to focus on
11:42
your war table, I know you wanted to talk
11:44
about other things, but what are all these figures
11:46
on here that are just like
11:49
sort of sad faces? What do those
11:51
represent? Well I
11:53
like to, as you know, I'm a former
11:55
actor and I
11:57
like to represent dramatically
12:00
how we're doing in the battle. And
12:02
so I have various emotional faces
12:05
that I apply to the map. There's
12:07
a key right here, and you can read
12:09
all this. And this is
12:12
how sad I'm feeling today. Oh, is this the
12:14
key to the books that explain the table? Yeah,
12:16
there's a box behind you with a lock on
12:18
it. Okay, let me... Yes, use
12:20
the key, go into the box. That's
12:22
where the books are that explain the key to
12:24
the map. It's really quite simple. Oh, there's
12:27
a compass rose. Oh, sorry, the compass rose and
12:29
is shining a light on the books I see.
12:31
Oh, okay. Sorry, King, you were saying? Yes, I'm
12:34
saying that in addition to the map, let
12:36
me open the curtain. Look
12:40
at this. We
12:42
are in the highest room in Northeastern.
12:44
Wow, wow. From which you can see
12:46
the battlefields stretching
12:48
out before us. See, each
12:50
one of these battalion men
12:53
represents a real battalion that
12:55
you can see out there in
12:57
the fields if you could look far enough, if
13:00
you had the eyes of a bird. Look,
13:02
there's your guards. Those grasshoppers look like
13:04
ants from up here. Look at that.
13:06
Yes, no, those are my grasshoppers. They're
13:08
man-sized grasshoppers that I've gotten
13:10
to serve me. But
13:13
there are still many things I
13:15
need to wage this war. I
13:18
wish someone would come and give me
13:20
a plan,
13:23
a way to move forward. But
13:25
the fact of the matter is, gents, I
13:27
don't want to talk about the war with
13:30
you. I want to talk about friendship. Ah,
13:32
yes, of course. Pitch up, pitch up, drink
13:34
down your pitch. To the greatest
13:37
of ships. Of
13:40
course, friendship is why we came here
13:42
today, just to crush a cop
13:44
with thee and to speak of old times and
13:48
better times. Ah,
13:51
but, you know, if we want
13:54
friendship to
13:56
last, isn't that
13:58
a thing that's worth it? worth fighting
14:00
for. Wow. Indeed.
14:03
I'll tell you friendship and
14:05
a good glass of pitch is
14:08
all I need in life. I
14:10
mean, I'm surrounded by
14:13
issues. I've got the problem
14:15
with trachea arelia. I've got this wizard
14:17
war, you know. I've got my council
14:19
breathing down my neck. I've got 99
14:22
problems but a pitch ain't one. So
14:27
you're having problems with your sister? Hit
14:29
me! But I can't
14:32
do a battalion accident. Well, it
14:34
depends. Context is
14:37
everything. Yeah. So
14:39
your sister, she's gone to the highlands.
14:42
I assume, is this
14:45
your bio-doing? Have you sent her there or
14:47
tried to trick away so you can have
14:49
some peace and quiet around here for a
14:51
change? I tried to send her away any
14:54
chance I get. Well,
14:57
you know she was trying to kill me for many
14:59
years. Did you know that? Oh yeah. Yeah.
15:03
I just found that out. We actively saw her try to
15:05
kill you. You know it's hard to
15:07
tell when someone's your sister. It's almost like you
15:09
know them too well and they tried to kill
15:11
you and you think, you know, what's she doing
15:13
there now, you know? But
15:16
it really was. It was lethal. And
15:19
now I just want to sit back with my bros.
15:22
Have a pitch, Desh. Yes. Oh
15:24
my gosh. Can I just say what you
15:27
described? Imagine if your sister
15:29
was a bunch of wizards, right? And
15:31
she's just like trying to kill you and she's like annoying.
15:34
Like what? How
15:36
could we overcome that, Youssou-Dour?
15:40
Have you
15:43
ever caused all your wizard
15:46
brethren to lose their immortality and
15:48
then the sister who's next card
15:50
here? You
15:53
put one half of a sentence on
15:55
each card, Youssou-Dour? I don't know. He's
15:57
holding so many cards. I guess minus.
16:00
Why are you reading cards rather than relating
16:02
to me in the moment? I
16:05
see what's happening here. Uh...
16:08
You do? Huh? Yes.
16:11
You, like everyone else around me, wants
16:14
to talk about the war. I'm
16:18
afraid you found this out. It's
16:20
the very reason we came. We
16:22
did want to speak to you about the
16:24
war, but it's because... well,
16:27
we're so integral to it. I
16:30
am the one that calls the Wizards
16:32
to lose their immortality and to declare
16:34
Wizard Law. When I helped them devise
16:37
their very concept of Wizard Law, I
16:39
assumed we'd never be mad enough to
16:41
actually put it into action. I
16:44
assumed it was just a fallback position if
16:46
something really terrible happened. Wait, hold on. A
16:48
Yucidor, I hate to interrupt. Huh? Are
16:50
you saying that you devised Wizard Law originally?
16:53
Oh yeah. Oh definitely, yeah.
16:55
Barney, you loved it. I'm just saying... Well,
16:57
all the Wizards... We were saying this isn't his fault,
16:59
but it's more and more seeming like it is his
17:01
fault. All the Wizards agreed,
17:04
if anything so terrible
17:06
should ever happen, that we
17:09
felt like we were losing control of
17:11
Foon, that we could declare Wizard Law. But even
17:13
when the Dark Lord was at his very height
17:16
of power, we didn't declare Wizard
17:18
Law. And now they
17:20
lose their immortality, and they've declared Wizard
17:23
Law in my mind, illegally, because they're
17:25
doing it for their own self. You
17:27
keep saying vague, Asmoynes, but are you
17:29
not a wizard yourself? I
17:32
am, but outcast from
17:34
my very brethren am I,
17:36
and my sisters
17:38
too have turned their back on me.
17:41
I and all Wizards of
17:44
all genders and non-gendered Wizards have
17:46
all decided that I am unworthy
17:48
to stand amongst them, no
17:50
longer am I part of
17:53
their order. So
17:55
even though your background is a Wizarding
17:57
background, you don't necessarily act like a
17:59
wizard. Chunt, I think
18:01
you could learn something about battalions.
18:04
Chunt- Don't do the
18:06
voice. Chunt- Don't do the voice. Chunt- Don't
18:08
do the voice. Chunt- Now that you've brought
18:10
this foul subject around, Chunt- Yeah. Chunt-
18:12
there is something I must ask you, Gus-Minus. Gus-
18:15
Oh, we should take a quick break. Gus- Oh,
18:18
that should... you, Satori. Gus-
18:20
You really fucking are a foul clue here. Chunt- What do
18:22
you mean? Was that on the cards? It was on the
18:24
cards. Gus- It was on the cards. Gus- Yeah, okay. We'll
18:26
be right back. Chunt- No, you're right. Let's take a break.
18:28
Chunt- Take a break and have some
18:30
pitch. Chunt- Oh. Chunt- And forget about the
18:33
war altogether. Gus- Oh, in such poor taste.
18:35
Chunt- Oh, terrible. Gus- This is all his
18:37
fault. If
18:42
I asked you how many subscriptions you have, would
18:44
you be able to list all of them and how much you're paying?
18:48
If you would have asked me this question before I started
18:50
using rocket money, I would have said yes, but let me
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Absolutely positively. Fedex. Oh.
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I love Pitch! It's
20:19
really good isn't it? This is aged
20:21
Pitch James. It's really on as as
20:23
such as. It's
20:26
a handsome flavors so of six really
20:28
boring ten minutes and whites and slate
20:30
V on the top And right. Ah,
20:33
that's a good pitch. Viscous. Very viscous.
20:35
Yeah, this is yes. Discuss. Ah, it's
20:37
good to be with old friends again.
20:40
I'll tell you because you can't trust
20:42
anyone Tomboy. And if I may, you
20:44
are one of my oldest friends and
20:46
all of whom you know I met
20:49
you way back in the second episode
20:51
of the show. We've been following your
20:53
progress all the way to being king.
20:56
And you are first and always
20:58
a. Second second episode.
21:00
so second and always from yeah
21:02
so fucking and always since so
21:05
few need anything from us is
21:07
good buds. Yeah. We're always
21:09
going to be there for you and
21:12
selflessly like we don't have like a
21:14
hidden agenda of something we need from
21:16
you. Especially now that you are very
21:18
powerful in this world. Ah yes yes
21:20
yes I yes. and it was. When
21:22
reminisce about these things I do remember
21:25
when we first met you and you
21:27
have you are in disguise. That
21:30
with Sammy Salter I saw through your disguise.
21:32
aba of video will never that. Many
21:36
years ago chance of so
21:38
much has changed. Each.
21:40
of us walking our own paths
21:42
and in a spy i've been
21:44
an author i've been a lady
21:46
had the many things have been
21:48
a series of bats yoga and
21:50
there's a guy i want to
21:52
say press group quip was his
21:54
name someone help me was his
21:56
name not ringing a bell anyway
21:58
we've been through many different adventures
22:00
together Oh, Krefnan! Oh, Krefnan! He's
22:02
one of my favorite short story
22:04
writers. Dead, I'm afraid. Oh
22:07
no, Krefnan died? It's O-Krefnan. Oh,
22:10
O-Krefnan died? O-Krefnan died, yes.
22:12
Oh, O-Krefnan died. Yes, O-Krefnan.
22:14
But what about Krefnan? Who's
22:17
Krefnan? The
22:20
author, O-Krefnan. Oh, do you know what?
22:23
I think I had a servant named Krefnan
22:25
once. I hope he's doing well.
22:27
Yes, I believe that's right. Do
22:31
you remember the time you wrote
22:33
a book? Yeah. Remember
22:36
the time when I think we were all in
22:38
a cave doing... You were doing the bat dance
22:40
and Arnie did the bat dance or something, and
22:42
Arnie became king for a minute? Remember that? That
22:44
was an act of funny. That was funny. It's
22:48
fun to think about these things and pause for
22:51
a minute. This
22:53
is a clip show, right? Oh,
22:56
shit. We should do a clip show. Arnie, are we
22:59
doing clips? It would be a lot less of a
23:01
burden for us to get an episode out, although we'd
23:03
have to collect the clips then. Ah, what I remember
23:05
is when you came upon me in the library. Oh,
23:11
sorry. I didn't know that someone was over there while I
23:13
was masturbating. Yes,
23:15
that was a good time, wasn't it? Thank
23:18
God we clipped that scene. It's like
23:20
the only audio clip that we always have handy. I
23:22
can't believe we haven't used it yet. Arnie, come on.
23:25
Bad choice of words. Handy. But it's
23:27
interesting that you bring up the
23:30
cave, Arnor. Oh.
23:33
Because... You
23:35
did become king for a moment, didn't you?
23:37
Well, just for like a second. It was
23:39
an accident. Just for a second. Yeah, I
23:41
feel like a goof. Yeah, it's not all
23:43
that serious. And hey, keeping with the clip
23:46
show, remember when that grasshopper knew all of
23:48
Usidor's names? I
23:50
am Usidor, wizard of the 12th realm of
23:52
Athesias, master of light and shadow, manipulator of
23:54
magical delights, devourer of chaos, champion of the
23:57
great halls of trackers, the elves, their mere
23:59
seeing, Yellick, the of dwarves know me as
24:01
their own in-hoop stenches, and why
24:03
am I doing this in the first person? She
24:06
is Youssou Doubt. Oh,
24:09
so he's been practicing, I see. I don't
24:11
even remember it exactly. It's funny
24:13
how you remember it one way and then hearing it
24:15
back is a little different. Well, that's why it's so
24:17
fun to have a clip show, because there's no way
24:19
to go back. You have to
24:21
actually see it. Oh, yes. That
24:24
is fun. But wait a minute. If
24:26
you did become king... Swoons,
24:30
could he be a threat to me? What?
24:32
Yes. I see it now, too. Don't
24:35
you? Don't you? Crazy. Crazy,
24:37
don't call me. This is a mock-off. If he's able
24:39
to take the throne from me... Why
24:42
is he walking over and talking
24:44
to that tapestry? ...bist against him.
24:47
Indeed, alone I
24:50
must rule northeast, yet else the wizards
24:52
will close in. Yes,
24:55
Arnie is a threat to me, and
24:57
therefore I must clutch my dagger close,
25:00
but they mustn't know friends. He's
25:03
leaving the pauses as if the tapestry was talking
25:06
back. Who was your friend over
25:08
there? Excuse me? You said Swoons
25:10
and then you talked to a tapestry? Oh, Swoons.
25:12
A typical, you know, a typical
25:15
curse. Ah, I'm drunk on pitch,
25:18
Eusidor. Yes? The time has come
25:20
for me to ask the question that
25:23
you must know that I have
25:25
to ask. Okay, well, I didn't want
25:27
to talk about me and Linda, but
25:29
during the break between seasons, we had a
25:31
quick affair. What was she? You'll never say.
25:35
She was the dream of a unicorn, and
25:37
it was never meant to be. She
25:42
was non-corpoil and... Don't tell us. Boop,
25:44
boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Sorry,
25:47
I'm finishing the rest of the pitch. Does anyone mind? I
25:50
actually grew up... No, go for it. You were
25:52
going to ask me about Linda, right? No, but
25:54
I'm glad that you shared such a vulnerable story.
25:58
No. I need
26:00
to ask you about a delicate subject. As
26:04
Minas. I. Must know
26:07
the secrets of Wizard com. O
26:11
Anything else? Ask me anything else.
26:13
your majesty and I shall surely
26:15
share. I know it's well guarded.
26:18
But. If I am to win this war,
26:21
I must Master Wizard com. Chant
26:24
thirty two Hearing what I'm hearing. So this
26:26
is a chance and on he might not
26:28
know what this is. I
26:30
have read ancient tomes and
26:32
grim was that there is
26:34
a spell summoning spell Cold
26:36
Wizard com. Were
26:39
in some incantation will bring
26:41
a wizard from any location.
26:44
Into. The location of our choosing
26:46
used to door guess minus my
26:48
old friend is Wizard com real?
26:50
It's true. it can be difficult
26:52
to make a wizard com by.
26:54
I knew it. The first
26:57
thing you have to do. Is.
26:59
Stand in a T spot One.
27:01
Oh, it's in the fields, right?
27:03
You've talked about the Wizard com
27:05
fields or shortened I guess the
27:07
Wc. That's right. You. Must stand
27:10
in the g spot. And. Then
27:12
you must think. Think.
27:14
About anything except making the wizard
27:16
comes. To. And sustain
27:18
that it that as far as long
27:20
as you can read in that way
27:22
if you don't focus on making the
27:24
was a com. You. Might have
27:26
a chance of making the wizard com glass
27:29
of warm up before the spell and any.
27:31
Well yeah, you have to weigh a world
27:33
of your steady r G spot. You want
27:35
to make sure you're standing there tall and
27:37
erect. interesting and did you spot
27:39
a oh wow it's the most important
27:41
spot in the ground and it is
27:43
located fly well you gotta you gotta
27:45
fly it ended up easy meals okay
27:47
yeah you gotta find that it's so
27:49
suddenly nice thing to find he does
27:51
ever think about mittens when you're trying
27:53
to come a after standing there tall
27:55
interact on the g spot as you
27:57
think about mins so we think about
27:59
making them it come and
28:01
if you think about mittens and you're really focused.
28:04
Does anyone else think this sounds a
28:06
bit like sex? I'm sorry? How so?
28:09
No, it's all the things that we're saying they
28:11
sound a bit like sex. I didn't turn into
28:13
a rack of ribs or... No,
28:16
maybe it's just me. Maybe it's
28:18
just me. I'm not hearing it. Okay,
28:21
I shouldn't laugh at that but
28:24
oh my god that is a good battalion accent. Well
28:28
if there's a way, show me the G-spot on
28:30
this map. Let me
28:32
move the man in the little bow. Well
28:34
I think roughly... Well your
28:37
two fingers are just kind of circling one area.
28:39
A lot. Yeah, I mean it's around
28:41
here. You're
28:43
doing like a come hither motion with your two fingers
28:45
on the map. That could be like hundreds of miles.
28:48
I mean like yeah it's there somewhere
28:50
for sure. Well we're going to have
28:52
to find it and I'm going to
28:54
have to find Arnie's loyalty. Or
28:57
if he were to threaten my
28:59
throne... Jones! I must have
29:01
him. Back to the... I have one.
29:04
Street. They have poison is the way. Yes,
29:07
foul pitch thrown at just the
29:09
right time. Arnie!
29:11
Yo, yeah? Tom! Good
29:13
friend. Good buddy. Another
29:16
glass of pitch. Oh thank you. I've had my
29:18
fill pitch. Oh. I'll have
29:20
some. Come on pitch. What?
29:23
Don't be a little pitch. No.
29:26
Oh is that 22 ounces of pitch? Don't
29:29
be a 22 ounce pitch. Come on. Wait
29:32
hold on. I know what that means. You're
29:34
trying to murder me. Oh. Well listen.
29:37
Yes, I do remember when you were a
29:39
cup. When you were a 22 ounce cup. And
29:42
yes, I've buried many knives in you. Knives
29:45
like this one. Hold this for a second. Arnie,
29:51
that one threw your hand into your stomach. You gotta
29:53
catch knives. I know. I'm stuck to
29:55
my stomach now. It's kind of comforting in a weird
29:57
way. But I mean the knife part is not. feels
30:00
really bad. But kind of having my hands stuck
30:02
to my stomach is... Ah,
30:04
it's kind of relaxing. Yeah. Who can
30:06
I count on? What? Who is loyal
30:08
to me, Chunt? Yeah, I'll do whatever
30:10
you need, buddy. Of
30:13
course, your Majesty. You're a wizard.
30:16
How can I trust a wizard? How
30:18
can I trust a badger? How can
30:20
I trust one who would take my
30:22
throne from me? Well, you shouldn't trust
30:24
anyone that's going to try to take
30:26
your throne from you, of course. From
30:28
his own lips. From the
30:30
lips of the man who would
30:32
do it. Indeed, so my friend
30:35
is my enemy now, is he?
30:37
No. No, no, no,
30:39
your Majesty. Arnie just
30:41
means if someone were going to take
30:43
your throne, say, someone who, you know,
30:45
also did the bat dance
30:48
in the cave, they would be
30:50
someone who was trying to take your
30:52
throne. In fact, there may be factions
30:54
already at work proclaiming that person to
30:56
be king, undermining your very
30:59
legitimate claim to the throne. That reminds me, I've
31:01
been getting a lot of mail from Benedict Whisper
31:03
Brew. I haven't really opened any of it yet,
31:05
but he seems to want to get in contact
31:08
with me about something. Factions. Arnie,
31:11
you may not know it, but
31:13
you are the cat's paw of a
31:15
faction that would try to destabilize North
31:18
Whisper. Arnie is terrible at
31:20
factions. He can't do math at all.
31:22
Yeah. But I like being a cat's
31:24
paw. Let me give you this denominator.
31:27
I will give you a head start of
31:29
three days, and after that,
31:33
you will face my
31:35
blade. Please,
31:38
let's de-escalate this conversation here. Yeah. Face
31:41
your blade? Is he going to send his main
31:43
vampire killer after me? Let's
31:46
enjoy some nice pitch, and this time let's
31:49
not get our own cup. Let's have a
31:51
whole picture. Fine. A picture
31:54
of pitch, please. Oh, and
31:56
your majesty, I would be willing- Pitch, please.
32:00
Oh, he's talking back to the staff. Come on,
32:02
Pitch. Pitch, please.
32:05
Really giving it to that grasshopper. Your
32:07
Majesty, I'd also be willing to drink
32:09
some field tea to prove my loyalty
32:11
to you. Ah, yes. If
32:14
you drink the field tea, it bonds you
32:16
to me. It binds you to me, in
32:18
fact. Oh. Yes, a pitcher
32:20
of field tea, please. Whoops,
32:23
I like that. You're gonna be all bound up.
32:25
Which Teenage Me is pretty
32:27
excited about. Let's take another
32:29
quick break and think about how
32:32
we feel about these loyalty oaths. Can
32:34
someone pull his knife out of me? Ryan
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34:15
Chunk, you sit up. Did I
34:17
do something to upset Tom? I...
34:20
he seemed to... I mean look, he stabbed me many
34:22
times in the past and I didn't take it personally, but...
34:25
He seems to be upset with me for
34:27
some reason. Yeah, I just brought up a
34:29
hypothetical scenario where someone else had done the
34:31
bat dance in the bat cave and so
34:33
I could undermine the legitimacy of his claim
34:36
to the throne and I mean... I
34:38
didn't really think this through but I suppose you
34:41
actually have done that. Yeah, I mean, I was
34:43
accidentally king briefly but I said I didn't want
34:45
to do it and so he and his sister
34:47
are king. I'm pretty sure that was a couple
34:49
of years ago but we... when that happened we did
34:51
say it's good to be the king, right? We must have.
34:53
We must have. Probably
34:55
said it several times, not hearing one another doing
34:57
it. Oh, I have an idea. This is a
34:59
clip show, right? Mm-hmm. Uh, hey, king. Remember
35:02
that time in the... in the cave where...
35:06
I think we got it wrong. Arnie didn't do
35:08
the bat dance? Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Arnie,
35:11
why are you just standing there not doing the bat
35:13
dance? Because I would never do that to a dear
35:15
friend. Oh, Arnie, you'll never be king that way, which
35:17
is great. It's good to not be the king. It
35:19
would be good to be the king. No one else
35:22
said that. It would be good to be the king.
35:24
Oh, it's good to be the king for sure. It
35:26
would be good to be the king. Whoop, whoop, whoop,
35:28
whoop. I don't remember
35:30
it that way. Oh. That's
35:32
the way these episodes go. But that was
35:34
a real clip, wasn't it? I
35:36
think so. I thought you were at the clip show.
35:39
I mean, you did hear the whoop, whoop, whoop, didn't
35:41
you? Yes. Well, it was hard for me to tell
35:43
if that was Chunt finishing off his pitch or if
35:45
it was the whoop, whoop, whoop of the dream going
35:47
back. Oh,
35:49
memory is unreliable. Perhaps this has
35:51
finally put this to rest. Well,
35:53
I think memory may be unreliable,
35:55
but this clip show is interesting. Certainly
35:58
everyone remembers the first time. that
36:00
audience, Chaunk kissed, woop woop woop woop.
36:03
Okay, Chaunk, we're about to go in
36:05
and talk to King Belleroth. Yeah? I'll
36:08
start the episode in just a minute, but it'll
36:10
really calm my nerves. Before we go in and
36:12
pitch this, wow, it's happening. It's happening. Chaunk, it's
36:14
happening. It's happening. Just kiss me just a little
36:17
bit, but like a friend kiss. But like a
36:19
little bit of an edge, but a friend kiss
36:21
mostly. I kissed the charger next door. Yeah,
36:24
just a hint of possibility. Eyes open or close?
36:26
Mmm, one of each. Cheat or no teeth? Woop
36:28
woop woop woop woop woop. That
36:30
clip goes on for so long. Yeah. Oh,
36:33
that's a good clip, because I
36:35
can remember the first time I imagined the two
36:37
of you kissing. Woop woop woop
36:40
woop woop woop woop woop woop. Ah,
36:43
well, off to bed then for me. Wait,
36:46
before you go to bed, King, would
36:49
you like a little show? Oh,
36:51
Chaunk, what are you doing here? Oh,
36:54
nothing. Tugs
36:56
on leash. Come in here, bad
36:58
boy. Awny?
37:00
I'm here too. This
37:02
is my Awny knee-camp impression. Incredible.
37:05
Core, blind me. Would you like
37:08
it if we cut a hole
37:10
in this tapestry and kissed through the whole
37:12
king? Woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop. But
37:14
enough about my fantasy life. Huh, that was
37:17
not what I was expecting going on in
37:19
your mind. Wild. Well,
37:22
your majesty, your
37:24
proclivities aside, you
37:27
see now that there's no reason to
37:29
be upset with Awny and give him
37:31
a three-day set start before you try
37:33
to kill him. There's no threat
37:35
to your claim to the throne. I
37:39
mean, other than, I guess, potentially your sister who's always
37:41
been trying to kill you. Indeed.
37:44
The only threat would be if someone had tried
37:46
to tamper with my memory. And
37:49
why would they do that? Why
37:51
would someone insert something that wasn't supposed
37:54
to be there? What
37:56
the fuck is this Starbucks cup doing on
37:58
my table? Ernie,
38:01
the starbuck is a stag
38:03
that races across the night
38:05
sky, helping to carry the stars
38:07
from one end of the moon to the other so
38:09
that the entire land can share in
38:11
the light and glistening and magic
38:14
of the stars. No shit, Chunt.
38:16
Everyone knows what a starbuck is. The
38:19
question is, why is it on my
38:21
war table except as an omen? An
38:24
omen to tell me that something is
38:26
a miss. And I
38:28
think that miss is a mister. A
38:31
Mr. Arnie Kneecap. Er, Er,
38:33
Er, Er, Ernie, quick, kiss
38:35
me. Erm, OK, but
38:37
here's the thing. It's mostly friend
38:39
kiss, but just... A hint of possibility,
38:42
OK? OK, when I open, when I
38:44
close... OK. Mmm... Yeah,
38:46
that's it. Yup, that looks weirder than
38:48
I thought it would even would. Yeah. Mmm...
38:52
Please don't draw that. Yup. Please, fans,
38:54
don't draw this. Well, yeah. I don't know what to do
38:56
with my hands. Close your eyes.
38:59
Sorry, I think I'm pushing the dagger
39:01
in deeper. Oh, yeah, that's right. No
39:03
one's taken the dagger out. When you
39:05
wait nine years for something, and then
39:07
it happens, it's either
39:09
the show will get better from here
39:11
or this is just the end. It
39:14
is. Sort of. I
39:16
think it really happened. I think it's finally
39:18
happened. So many people have
39:20
been waiting, and here it is,
39:22
twice. Twice in one episode. Bloop, bloop, bloop,
39:24
bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. King, what were you doing? I was just thinking,
39:26
your eyes glazed over for a minute. What's
39:29
that? Oh, sorry. Eh, woof. It
39:32
is hard running a wow, you know what I mean?
39:35
Yes. I assume it takes quite a toll
39:38
on the... I have
39:40
all sorts of tinctures and
39:42
ointments and potions that could
39:44
help your endurance during this
39:46
time, help you feel fresher
39:49
and awake, ready to take
39:51
on the challenges of preparing for an all-out
39:54
war against the wizards. Yeah, throw it in
39:56
the pitch. Throw some tincture
39:58
in my pitch. Okay, here's
40:00
a little... Hey, can I ask
40:02
you something? Yeah. Have you heard
40:04
people calling it... WOW-1?
40:08
Yes, I'm afraid I have. Well, why
40:10
do they do that? Well, if
40:13
the prophecy comes to pass, there shall be
40:15
a... a second WOW.
40:18
Oh, thank God. Oh, so you're saying this
40:20
could be a multi-season thing. Yes, and,
40:23
uh... Certainly... You're not the
40:25
wizard to end all wars. It's... Yes,
40:27
some people would say it's the great
40:29
WOW, and... some
40:32
more forward-thinking have
40:34
decided to number them. But... Oh,
40:36
help us all if WOW-3 ever
40:39
comes to pass. Well, but... I
40:41
mean, what... Why are we certain there's gonna be
40:43
a WOW-2? I mean,
40:45
let's just have this one and finish it, you know?
40:47
Let's not make, like, a
40:49
fucked-up treaty at the end that basically just puts
40:51
it on pause for 10 or 15 years and
40:54
then come back to it. And,
40:56
you know, let's just really, like, finish
40:59
it so that we don't leave the
41:01
seeds of an aggrieved party to then
41:03
abuse the Alliance again. Do you know
41:05
what I'm saying? Yes. Can we at
41:08
least all agree that if we get...
41:10
if, you know, goddesses forbid we get
41:12
to a WOW-4 or something, that number
41:14
just starts to feel ridiculous. Can we
41:17
then just get rid
41:19
of the number and do something like
41:21
WOW Origins... or WOW
41:23
The Quickening, like, just sort of spice it
41:25
up a little bit. Can I just say,
41:28
can we not just do... So, let's say
41:30
we've done six of them and
41:32
then just decide to drop the
41:34
numbers entirely and then the new one is
41:36
just called WOW as if... That's confusing.
41:39
...nothing ever happened. You know what I'm saying?
41:41
You can't call it the same... the very
41:43
same thing, no matter how many years have
41:45
gone by. And it's not enough to call
41:47
it VWOVW, because
41:50
that's also just as confusing. No, it's the same.
41:52
No, it's the same. I
41:54
disagree. I feel like if all of
41:56
food is wiped out and then magically
41:58
a new population arises... Then I
42:00
feel like we could restart at WOW,
42:02
like, it's just a wee... It's a
42:04
complete, a complete re-food. Yeah, it's completely
42:06
new civilians, completely new magical creatures. Then
42:08
I feel like it's okay. I don't
42:10
think if there's any continuity at all,
42:12
you have to use numbers or you
42:14
have to slightly change the name. We
42:16
should have at least some legacy warriors
42:18
in there, like, maybe they die early
42:21
in the war, but just, like, to
42:23
get a, just a little taste of
42:25
the original warriors. Does it feel to
42:27
you like we're talking about sex? Mm-hmm.
42:29
Yeah, very much so this time. Yeah.
42:33
Because, yeah, at first I thought
42:35
we were talking about the wars and numbering
42:37
them, but then the more the details that
42:39
we filled in, they felt like
42:41
the details that apply to sex. I
42:43
agree. Because I know everything about sex.
42:45
Oh, I know a ton about it.
42:47
No, I do too. Oh, same. I'm
42:50
basically an expert in sex. Oh, heavens,
42:52
yeah. No, no, no, no. I'd say
42:54
sex expert, but I know you said
42:56
somebody else already took that. Oh,
42:58
Your Majesty, I forgot to mention this
43:00
before. I know this seems like a
43:02
bit of a non sequitur, but you
43:05
want, we were recording the beginning
43:08
of this episode before we
43:10
were ushered into
43:12
your chamber here by Quare,
43:15
and I believe right at
43:17
the very beginning of this episode, Arnie
43:19
said, I'm not evil. Yeah.
43:23
So does that put your mind at ease? No. Really?
43:25
What doesn't? No.
43:29
Why would someone say that? Right?
43:32
I think that good should be a
43:34
pure assumption, and yet Arnie feels the
43:36
need to say he's not evil. Yeah,
43:38
I kind of thought the same thing. It is
43:40
weird. It was an odd thing to say. Yeah,
43:42
it was an odd thing to say, but I
43:44
was hoping that you would think it was a
43:47
very normal thing to say. Well, at first I
43:49
thought, well, it's something, it's a carryover from the
43:51
previous episode, referencing something that I don't
43:53
understand. But now that you've called attention to
43:55
it, it seems a bit more out of
43:57
the blue. Yeah, yeah. And I don't mean
43:59
it. out of a blue wizard,
44:01
I mean out of the clear blue sky
44:03
which we can see all around us because
44:05
we are at an amazing height. Oh,
44:08
Arnie, he just put another knife in your other
44:10
hand. How do
44:12
you like two knife hands? Both
44:15
of my hands are stuck to my belly
44:17
like some cheap figurine. Here,
44:19
give me these knives. You could even afford the
44:21
hands to go out. What? Give
44:23
me these knives. Here, and I'm gonna hit you with
44:25
the healing rock. No! Ow!
44:30
Alright, at least I'm
44:32
not bleeding anymore. Guess minus. Yes.
44:36
Kill Arnie. What? What? I
44:39
command you as your king to show
44:42
your loyalty and you have drank
44:44
the loyalty to kill Arnie
44:46
and use Chunt to do it. What?
44:50
Stab Arnie with Chunt. Oh
44:53
no. Oh, this is also something the
44:55
fans have always wanted to see. Yes sir, should we
44:57
do it? Should we do the speedball? Come
45:00
on, bub. Toss me. Throw me as hard
45:02
as you can. Time! No,
45:04
this colossus ends here. I
45:06
say this unto thee, your majesty, if
45:08
you do not trust Arnie, who
45:11
I trust above all others, for
45:13
I have plans upon plans, plans
45:16
that have been set in motion for
45:18
years, years in the making,
45:20
that you shall ne'er understand. You
45:23
must trust me. No, I
45:25
saw it. They kissed. No. No,
45:27
you must trust me. You must trust the wizards.
45:29
That's what we've been set in motion for years and they
45:31
did it. No, that's not it. That's not what I've been
45:33
doing. Look, your majesty,
45:36
if you trust me as
45:38
a pure force of magic brought into this
45:40
world, as a champion of goodness
45:42
and light, then you will not
45:44
make me do this thing. And if you command me to
45:47
do it, then beware
45:49
the consequences. What
45:53
did your voice just do? Beware!
45:57
I feel like this pitch isn't going to work. as
46:00
well as it could. That's unsettling. I think the
46:02
pitch is delicious. I think it's you who's not
46:04
going as well as he could. And you sir,
46:06
I should say, um, if you threw me and
46:09
we killed Arnie, I was okay
46:11
with that because we could just clip show
46:13
him back to life, right? Wouldn't
46:15
that be like a funny games to just like
46:17
rewind and like clip show him back to life?
46:20
Hold Chunt! I must have an
46:22
answer from this king. Do
46:25
you wish me to kill
46:27
Arnie? Or do
46:29
you believe that the goddesses have a greater
46:31
plan? I trust
46:33
you, Gethmoines, but I cannot trust
46:35
him and so he shall
46:38
face my blade. Whoa,
46:40
that's a much bigger sword. Yeah, it's the king
46:42
sword. It's the king sword. This is the king
46:44
sword. That is nice. That is a nice sword.
46:47
You don't fuck around with it. It's the king
46:49
sword. It was my... Come here, see
46:51
it. Arnie, you're doing... What in the
46:53
fuck are you doing? You literally just walked into it.
46:55
You literally just walked into it. You just grabbed my
46:58
sleeve. Arnie, grab my
47:00
other sleeve. Okay. And here we go!
47:02
Oh, his wizard sleeves are slowing
47:04
us down. A phrase I didn't
47:06
think I'd say. We
47:10
are really high up. Mystical
47:13
armor, speculative transform now
47:15
into a giant silver hawk.
47:18
I mean, I can also turn into a hawk if
47:21
that's needed. I changed my arm into a
47:23
giant hawk. Do you also want to be a hawk? We have
47:25
two hawks. Yeah, I'll be a hawk. Oh,
47:28
this armor is so tight around me. Just
47:31
ride on the hawk. We've got a hawk. We
47:33
are so... We're still falling. Hey, fuck you,
47:35
king! Fuck you!
47:38
I feel like that could have gone better. I feel like that could
47:40
have gone a lot better. Arnie,
47:43
I am so sorry that I put you in harm's
47:45
way. Whatever happens, whatever
47:48
transpires now and moving
47:50
forward, you must
47:52
remain safe. Arnie will
47:54
protect you, okay? We've taken some time
47:56
off to train for this. I mean, we're
47:59
ready to protect you. And you sir Arnie
48:01
and I are ready to protect you. Yeah,
48:03
Tom and I are good friends besides
48:05
you two. He's my oldest friend
48:07
in all of food. Like he'll get over
48:10
it. He is no longer our ally. Honey
48:12
look up. He's riding that tapestry down towards
48:14
us. What? He's riding her
48:16
tapestry towards us. Here I come
48:18
motherfuckers. Oh no. How
48:20
is he? How does he have a flying tapestry? It's
48:23
a whole new world. I
48:25
don't know if it's magical. He's just on it and falling.
48:28
Yeah, he's falling pretty much directly. Straight
48:30
down. Little help please. Oh fuck.
48:35
He still leaves the greatest army in all of
48:37
food. Although, we haven't looked at that table. It's not as
48:40
impressive as I thought it was. Yeah,
48:42
right? Right, fine. I'll use
48:44
a mage hand to push him back into the castle. That
48:46
off-turn. Oh god damn
48:48
it. I
48:52
bet that reminded him of sex too. Guys, I was
48:54
hoping that we were going to spend like five or
48:56
six episodes in Northesia, catch up with all the people
48:58
we know in Northesia, but it seems like we gotta
49:01
get the shit out of here. Yes.
49:04
Quickly. Yeah, into the wanderlust. And
49:06
away! Who
49:16
says we're not willing to steal plot points
49:18
directly from the Dungeons and Dragons movie? Not
49:21
me! Frozen or the Wizard,
49:23
Gravity Defying Sleeves and All was
49:25
played by Matt Young. Chant the
49:28
Talking Badger was played by Adol
49:30
Raffae. King Tom Blaine Belleroth was
49:32
played by Steve Waltin. Steve
49:34
is a Peabody Award winning writer
49:36
for The Late Show with Stephen
49:39
Colbert, but more importantly, creator and
49:41
star of a new series of
49:43
educational YouTube videos, Yoga for Ganglymen.
49:45
Do your strangely angular elbows pose a
49:48
real threat to your fellow Matt-mates?
49:51
Does your downward dog look like a
49:53
flamingo fighting itself? Let Steve's
49:55
Vermont-infused confidence help you get out of
49:57
your head and back on the mat.
50:00
Hello from the Magic Tavern is an
50:02
independent production made possible by supporters of
50:04
the Magic Tavern Patreon supporters
50:07
like Stefan Tina
50:09
Charlie Monroe Emmanuel
50:11
G Brendan Kelly
50:13
Zach Dewoody Zach Stasch
50:16
Christopher Mills Isaac Sherman
50:19
and met Kenji Davis Nikki
50:22
Pizarro Daniel B. Devon
50:24
Rusnak Moose William
50:27
Gillis Eric Lancaster
50:29
Justin Miller Martin Zastrow
50:32
Troy Williams Alexis CF
50:35
Fabio from Vienna Jonas
50:37
Rosborg Rosendahl of Denmark
50:41
I feel like I should wait for a
50:43
trumpet fanfare. Did we need the entire title
50:45
Jonas? You're supporting a patreon not swearing your
50:47
loyalty to Elrond and Finally
50:49
Michael K. Patrons get ad-free episodes
50:51
the entire back catalogue including all
50:53
the previous spin-offs and at least
50:55
you Do bonus episodes each month?
50:57
Here's a clip of the latest
50:59
bonus episode where Arnie Chunt and
51:02
Youssador try to understand the Earth
51:04
Comics strip Apartment 3G. All
51:06
right, I was told we would run out
51:08
of meaningful topics at some point and today
51:10
may be the day Here's the clip Yeah,
51:13
and the guy's name is lunch bag and the comic is
51:15
titled The order and
51:18
we also see him at work, but there's no words
51:20
and we just see him accumulating Money
51:23
to spend on a sandwich that he'll
51:25
eventually buy. Can I say and I
51:27
mean this sincerely When
51:29
you said his name is lunch bag, I
51:31
slowly am starting to like this idea now
51:33
like why am I liking it? Yeah, the
51:36
comics are pretty good. A guy named lunch
51:38
bag and it's just an order like lunch
51:40
or like a lunch focused comic Yes,
51:42
kind of into this now, right? What's
51:45
one thing people have to do
51:47
every day eat lunch? Mm-hmm
51:50
You don't have to you get to do we
51:53
think Wilbur and Wendell this
51:55
manuscript is Another
51:57
stupid comic like oh Is
52:00
this like a comic within the comic? Oh,
52:02
that's a good idea. Has anyone ever done
52:04
that on Earth, Arnie? I don't know, meta
52:07
stuff? Not a good idea, Matt. To
52:10
hear the rest, if you must,
52:12
and to learn more about supporting
52:14
the show, visit patreon.com/Magic Tavern. Hello
52:16
from the Magic Tavern is produced
52:18
by Arnie Neekamp, Matt Young, and
52:21
Adil Rify. Post-production coordination by Garrett
52:23
Schultz. Associate producer, Anna Haverman. This
52:25
episode edited by Anna Haverman. Hello
52:27
from the Magic Tavern logo by
52:29
Allard Leban. Magic Tavern theme
52:32
by Andy Poland. They're
52:42
gone, and now it's just
52:44
me, remembering all the wonderful
52:47
times we had together. Like
52:50
this one. Yeah.
52:55
And that one. Yep.
53:00
They've been some really good times.
53:03
But, when all is said and
53:06
done, I'm still gonna have to hunt him
53:08
down and kill him. More
53:11
pitch, please. You
53:13
got it, Arnie. Should
53:15
we kiss while drinking pitch?
53:18
Sure. Yeah. Do
53:20
it. Do it. Get him.
53:22
Get him. Your Majesty,
53:24
are you ready for me to go out into the field yet? Oh,
53:28
yes. Fabrizio, thank you so much. Wait,
53:31
they're stupid Italians. Yes, sir. Hey,
53:34
hey, what are you doing? That's really offensive. No,
53:36
I'm saying maybe two battalions. All
53:38
right, you two. Get out in the field and
53:40
kiss. When you hear your
53:42
loyalty, yes, sir. No.
53:46
No. No. trials
54:00
of the man accused of killing them. Up
54:03
and coming rapper YNW Melly gained
54:05
notoriety in the hip-hop world for
54:07
his shocking lyrics and criminal exploits.
54:10
When two of his best friends were
54:12
gunned down in a drive-by shooting, investigators
54:14
suspected the young rapper staged the
54:16
scene. But after not one
54:18
but two trials that ended in hung juries
54:21
and new evidence that may place YNW
54:23
Melly at the scene of the crime,
54:25
his trial has been paused indefinitely.
54:28
With countless twists and turns.
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