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LCG Logistics, your single

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source transportation supply. Hello,

2:21

lovely humans. I'm Wylee, and you

2:24

are listening to X Stories, formerly

2:26

known as Sex Stories, a podcast

2:28

where we learn about the unique

2:30

complexities of interpersonal connection, one

2:32

human story at a time in an effort to make the

2:34

world a more loving place where taking care of each other

2:36

is the norm. And our guest

2:39

today is a 39-year-old pansexual cis female

2:41

who has been with her partner for

2:43

over 20 years, married for 14,

2:45

and ethically non-monogamous for the last

2:47

two plus. A pastor's kid

2:49

who spent her formative years in Oklahoma,

2:51

as an adult, she experienced over a

2:53

decade of chronic pain, opioids, and muscle

2:56

relaxants before finding a doctor who could

2:58

offer an accurate diagnosis. And

3:00

in this new era, she has discovered

3:02

a passion for swinging and experiencing the

3:04

full range of her emotions. She

3:07

is into openness, honesty, knowing a partner

3:09

is turned on, blindfolded buttplugs with tails,

3:11

her wand, hot wiping, ass worship, and

3:14

cock worship, a clinical pharmacist

3:16

and only fans creator from Los

3:18

Angeles. Welcome, Roxanne! Thank you!

3:20

I'm so excited to be here. I

3:22

am super excited to have you here. So,

3:26

start off please by telling us if you had

3:28

to rate yourself on a

3:30

shame-o-meter, a sexual shame-o-meter, from

3:32

one to ten with ten being so full of shame and

3:34

one not being shame-y at all, where do you fall right

3:37

now today? Right

3:39

now, today, I would say a zero.

3:42

Amazing. I

3:45

know. This morning, actually,

3:47

we had a fun brunch out

3:49

with a couple that we see

3:51

fairly frequently and her

3:53

best friend from college was in

3:55

town who actually knows. Vanilla

3:58

best friend. she

4:00

knows about the situation and she

4:02

wanted to introduce us. So it

4:05

was a lot of fun. Yeah, I

4:07

love actually being able to talk to

4:09

people about it because of course, where

4:12

I'm from, my family, you know,

4:14

it's not something that I get to share very

4:17

often. So that was a

4:19

lot of fun and brought that Shayma meter down.

4:22

I love that so much. And what a good

4:24

clear example of how when we get to be

4:26

witnessed in our full selves, they're like this, this

4:28

part of our relational selves that oftentimes I mean,

4:31

I get it. I'm like, Oh, I'm not supposed

4:33

to talk about being kinky everywhere. Okay. Okay.

4:36

So here's a question though. Are there

4:38

any context or like people or places

4:40

where it squiggles up and down for

4:42

you still? There

4:44

are, I would say when

4:47

I am around family

4:49

or in kind

4:51

of those situations of people

4:53

that I remember from my,

4:56

we call them my migraine years or

4:58

my headache years. It's not

5:00

necessarily that shameful. It's just that

5:02

I feel like I can't be

5:04

my full self. And

5:06

I feel like they used to know

5:09

me, but they don't fully know the

5:11

real me or the new me. Yeah. And

5:13

then there

5:17

are a few times, you know, where in

5:20

the whole lifestyle and meeting new

5:22

people, I think it's more a me

5:25

thing than a them thing. But

5:27

I have found that still

5:29

some of that shame around

5:31

being really active, you

5:33

know, in the lifestyle and playing

5:35

a lot. I do still

5:37

feel that I think as a female, you

5:40

know, there's still a little bit of that stigma in

5:42

the back of my mind still trying

5:45

to break through some walls. Okay.

5:47

Let me make sure I understand when you

5:49

say the word active, do you mean like

5:51

active sexually, like in a physical literal way or

5:54

like, like slut shamey feelings?

5:57

Kind of like, yeah, slut shamey feelings.

6:00

because we're active in

6:03

a physical way. I didn't know if you meant

6:05

like a specific type of shame that was related

6:07

to like power bottoming or something or like, I can't

6:09

stop thrusting. Okay, that makes perfect sense.

6:11

Are you open with your friends about

6:14

your kind of lifestyle or is that

6:16

something that you and your husband keep from

6:18

or does it depend on who? It

6:20

depends on who. None

6:23

of my friends, you know,

6:25

from back home. When we moved to

6:27

LA, I worked from home. So

6:30

I never really saw any

6:32

of my coworkers. Never knew anyone

6:34

who lived out here previously. Max,

6:37

my husband, he has a few actor

6:39

friends out here. And so

6:41

those friends know or a decent amount of them

6:44

know. And I do get to talk to them

6:46

about it a little bit. And

6:48

then my little step sister knows

6:50

a little bit. She

6:53

knows that we're in the

6:55

lifestyle. But that's about it. Gotcha.

7:00

Okay, if you had to

7:02

say, how do you think

7:04

societal norms have affected your relationships

7:06

and personal pleasure? I

7:09

think because my husband and

7:11

I are so open-minded, they

7:14

don't really affect us that

7:16

much. Since we

7:18

started dating, I've always

7:20

been kind of the primary breadwinner of

7:23

the family. So we kind of pushed

7:26

against that social norm. We

7:29

pushed against, like

7:31

my husband, he didn't ask my

7:33

dad for permission to propose

7:36

to me, because he doesn't

7:38

feel like I'm property. Yeah.

7:41

And yeah, I'm such a daddy's

7:43

girl, but my dad

7:45

respected it as well, knowing who I

7:47

am as a person. So

7:50

I think we have really pushed back

7:52

against those. And the headache

7:54

years, while it was tough,

7:57

it did Kind of keep us...

8:00

From going than normal

8:02

society rats. I

8:04

think if we hadn't had that,

8:06

we would still be living back

8:08

the heck are we would probably

8:10

have kids list. And a surrogate

8:13

of and great parents. That. We love

8:15

our life. We. The oh

8:17

we love our life now and

8:19

that freedom and all of our.

8:22

Love that we would get to have

8:24

kids go straight into our dog. So

8:27

they aren't silver and. I

8:31

love their first time for dates to

8:33

like getting the go to brunch egg

8:35

sac lead again Exact like to use

8:37

a little. More about why the

8:39

headache years kind of. Maybe.

8:42

Contributed to going it's the great with a just

8:44

by necessity and like maybe some specifics about your

8:46

released like what did it can have may be.

8:48

Create. An opportunity for or a

8:50

relationship had other one. I

8:53

would say it mostly the

8:55

fact that. I could take

8:57

care of myself. But. Barely.

9:01

I was able to get through the days. Of

9:04

work. I. Would come home and

9:06

I would. Say. Sickly a zombie,

9:08

It's took everything out of me

9:10

to get through the days at

9:12

work catalysis, working at a retail

9:14

pharmacy than and a manager, so

9:16

lots of unpaid overtime. Having to

9:19

say late. All of that,

9:21

Yeah, just to get through the

9:23

day. And. Then. Yeah,

9:26

just being a zombie, not really

9:28

feeling among sin. And.

9:30

Obviously not feeling like I was in a

9:32

place where I could take care of us

9:34

a little. Him and. Yeah,

9:38

I think it also affected

9:40

our relationship in that. Were.

9:43

Very unlike, were very connected. We

9:45

spend so much time together, but

9:48

we can also operate independently a

9:50

lot of the time. During those

9:52

years, Max dated himself. he

9:55

would just go out on edo out

9:58

to die sooner or out says things

10:00

like that and there

10:03

was never any, oh you're leaving me

10:05

or any jealousy, you know, anything like

10:07

that. It was nice for me to

10:10

have some time where I felt

10:13

like I didn't need to be on, you know,

10:15

as much as I had to

10:18

be sometimes during work. And

10:20

the biggest thing was probably just my

10:23

brain would try to shut off

10:25

all my feelings, which I've realized

10:28

later, just to block

10:30

some of the pain. Yeah.

10:32

So it was a

10:34

decade of headaches that

10:36

ranged from like a six to an

10:38

eight pain scale all

10:41

the time. Yeah.

10:44

How long has it been since that was,

10:47

since you got the diagnosis that has helped you

10:49

find some relief? So it's

10:51

been about four and a

10:53

half years probably. Wow. Somewhere around

10:55

there. Yeah. And

10:58

it still took me a long time

11:00

to believe that it would continue to

11:03

work. And

11:05

I had developed a social anxiety

11:07

because I would plan things and

11:09

then I would have to cancel

11:11

or leave in the middle. So

11:14

that took a while to get

11:16

over as well. Of course COVID

11:18

doesn't help anyone.

11:20

What a timeline day. Well,

11:23

at least maybe everyone else has

11:25

their own doses of social anxiety.

11:27

So maybe that puts you on a more level playing

11:29

field. It definitely does. I've

11:31

noticed it. So

11:33

on that note, what would you

11:35

say you need in order

11:37

to feel excited to connect with a

11:39

partner intimately, you know, whether it's Max

11:42

who you've known for decades or new people that

11:44

you want to bring in to your relationship or

11:46

swap with? I would say

11:48

they need to engage

11:51

with personality, want

11:53

to know a few things

11:55

about me. Our story is

11:58

very important to me. So

12:00

I always want to share that we've

12:03

gotten a little bit better at kind of

12:05

short being it Are

12:07

you gonna show it now? I mean

12:10

it was kind of what I

12:12

already said was mainly the headache

12:14

years and really

12:16

the feeling Like

12:18

I just was not a human being

12:21

I didn't get to experience anything So

12:24

after I got my good

12:26

diagnosis and got off all

12:28

the opioids and muscle relaxants within about two to

12:31

three months It's

12:33

still again took me a while, but then

12:35

I was able to finally feel

12:38

things again and We

12:42

got really into sex Obviously

12:44

those ten years Affected

12:47

our sex life a lot I

12:49

think a really nice thing about it was

12:52

anytime we did get intimate

12:55

We were always able to have a

12:57

good time It was mostly the lead

12:59

up to it and the anxiety leading

13:01

up to it on if I

13:04

mean I could get Really bad

13:06

attack. I also get migraines

13:08

on top of the daily headaches Yeah,

13:12

I would never know when it might

13:14

just hit so Oftentimes

13:17

if it was the planning out,

13:19

but then once we did get

13:21

intimate we almost always

13:23

came together and It

13:26

was just natural and every time he

13:28

would say okay, so you really enjoyed

13:30

that right? Yes But

13:34

at that point it was

13:36

still very sporadic fairly mechanical

13:38

and At that

13:40

point I did not have

13:43

much of a knowledge about sex I

13:46

had never really watched porn Or

13:49

anything like that being a PK

13:53

Yeah, so I had never really done anything like that

13:56

So it was always good during the

13:58

headache years. It was just, we

14:01

didn't know much. And I wasn't

14:04

able to really fully take

14:06

it in. So then, after

14:08

Max really encouraged me

14:10

once I started feeling

14:13

feelings again, and realizing

14:15

this is what a human being can

14:17

feel and can do and all of

14:19

that. So he really,

14:24

really encouraged me to just

14:26

lean into that and experience

14:28

everything that I could, because it

14:31

had been so long. And

14:33

then COVID hit. So we were

14:35

together a lot. And that's when

14:37

the sex life just ramped up,

14:40

ramped up so much. And

14:43

I discovered that I wanted

14:45

to know everything. I wanted

14:47

to learn so much. Yeah.

14:55

Can you give us a little sense of

14:57

what your formative years were like? Like, if

14:59

you were a pastor's kid, did

15:01

you get sex ed? Like, what happened leading

15:03

up to like before the headache, like all

15:05

of that, what are kind of those background

15:07

pieces that feel important? Yeah,

15:09

so Bible Belt

15:12

area, my father is

15:14

a pastor, but

15:16

he's also one of probably one of

15:19

the most liberal pastors in the

15:21

area. So he taught

15:23

me what it's supposed to be,

15:26

instead of what organized

15:28

religion has kind of it's

15:30

been perverted into, I

15:33

suppose, with hypocrisy and things

15:35

like that. So I

15:37

still have a fairly good

15:39

relationship with Christianity

15:42

and all of that. I believe

15:44

there's a higher spirit or

15:46

a higher something that

15:49

karma all of that. I

15:51

don't know how I feel about the

15:53

other stuff. At the moment, but

15:56

I do still have a very

15:58

good relationship with my

16:00

past and my formative years. My

16:03

father and my stepmother, my first

16:06

serious boyfriend, after a little while,

16:08

they did sit me down and

16:10

have an abbreviated

16:12

sex dog. Yeah,

16:15

and my stepmother got me on birth control just

16:18

in case she didn't want

16:20

anything to happen. So I

16:22

had one serious boyfriend in

16:24

high school. So

16:26

I had been with one guy

16:29

before my husband. So again,

16:31

that was kind of a, I

16:34

don't know, limited knowledge. And

16:37

I was very self-conscious of

16:40

the whole, all of it. I

16:43

had never fingered myself until I was

16:45

probably 33 or 34, things

16:51

like that. So I did have

16:53

to learn so much, but it

16:55

excited me. Yeah,

16:58

so I think that's kind of my

17:00

formative years. And I guess

17:03

being in the

17:05

organized religion and Christianity, I always

17:08

liked to be a pleaser and I've noticed

17:10

that in my sexual

17:12

life now too. And so

17:14

I very much played the part in

17:17

high school and college. So I was

17:20

that good sheltered religious

17:22

girl during

17:25

those times. So

17:28

again, I think that does give

17:30

me the healthy relationship with it.

17:32

Yeah, did you have an enjoyment

17:34

with being naughty? Because if you were

17:37

with a boyfriend out

17:39

of wedlock, I presume. Yes, I was. And

17:41

it sounds like you were a pretty good

17:43

relationship with that, like it sounds balanced to

17:46

me. Am I getting that right? It

17:48

was, he was probably

17:51

a little narcissistic looking

17:53

back at things, but

17:57

it was very kind of a

17:59

natural progression. into it.

18:01

I never felt pressured

18:03

into anything with him.

18:06

It was a positive relationship with sex

18:09

at that point. Yeah, and I'm not

18:11

hearing any self-judgment on your part for

18:13

doing it or anything like that. No, I

18:15

do specifically remember after

18:17

the first time I think he

18:19

fingered me, I remember writing in

18:22

my diary like, oh my

18:24

gosh, I don't know, is this how wrong

18:26

is this? You know, things like

18:28

that, but I got over

18:30

it pretty quickly. Yeah, yeah.

18:33

So I never really have had

18:35

any stigma about that until, which

18:38

is kind of interesting, but maybe

18:40

until we started swinging and

18:43

then having the multiple partners

18:45

and then going, wait,

18:48

is that okay? I

18:51

know it's okay for him because, you

18:53

know, guys are praised when that happens

18:55

a lot of the time. But I

18:58

think, again, on my end, I always

19:00

felt like I had to qualify

19:02

it. I had to say,

19:05

well, we barely had sex for 10

19:07

years. I only had one partner

19:09

before him. I still have that feeling

19:11

sometimes where I have to say, okay, this

19:14

is why we do it that much or

19:16

this is why we have

19:18

a full network of people

19:20

in the lifestyle that we

19:22

like. So there's a little bit of that. I

19:25

hear that. I still have my own version. I mean,

19:28

literally thousands of people know that I'm an

19:31

extremely horny person, but I still have like

19:33

days, moments, especially with people where I'm like,

19:35

oh no, I'm such a slut, they're gonna know. And

19:37

I'm like, who cares? Who's gonna know?

19:39

Nobody cares. Okay, so, oh,

19:44

I love that. Okay, so we're getting into

19:46

the fun parts, but I would

19:48

love to hear specifically, when it

19:50

comes to sex, what are you

19:52

the best at, in your opinion,

19:55

and how did you get so

19:57

good at? I think...

20:00

I'm really good at blow jobs. Which

20:03

I love. I

20:06

really like to take it

20:08

slow. Like you said at

20:11

the beginning, I love cock worship. I

20:13

love showing a man

20:15

that he's desired and that

20:18

I just want to worship. And

20:22

it has a lot to do with the fact of

20:24

how good they make me feel

20:26

about myself. All

20:29

of the compliments that they give me and

20:32

I want them to know that there are

20:34

people out there that desire them. So

20:36

I think that would be a really good one.

20:38

I do think I'm really good

20:41

at going submissive. I

20:44

think a part of that has to do with

20:46

my job as well. Because

20:49

I spend all my hours

20:51

at my job making decisions.

20:54

Approve, deny,

20:56

if I need more information, things like that. So

20:59

all day I have to make a certain

21:01

amount of decisions per hour. So

21:03

then when I'm off work, and Max has

21:05

gotten used to this now, I

21:07

don't like to make decisions. That

21:10

is one thing we

21:12

always tell new partners is

21:14

that I don't like to make

21:16

decisions. Don't ask me what position I want.

21:19

You tell me what position you want. Because

21:21

I'm going to love it. But

21:25

there is one time that I

21:27

want control. And

21:30

that is during the blow job. Oh yes,

21:32

I knew that actually. I already knew that.

21:34

I was just so silly. Yes.

21:36

Yes, there are more. Okay. Is

21:39

it true with all partners or is it max

21:41

specific? So it is true

21:43

with all partners. It's very max

21:45

specific. Like every time. He knows

21:48

just not to take control and

21:50

then he'll experience the

21:52

best thing. And then I can do

21:54

trial and error. I can find new

21:56

things that just drive him crazy, especially

21:59

since we've known. each other for that long.

22:01

Like what what have you discovered over these

22:03

years? Because this is how you got

22:05

so good at blow jobs too right? Like just practice

22:07

with the same person. I bet you can do so

22:09

many things. You can't.

22:12

I guess another another

22:14

kind of fun interesting

22:17

story about that is that my

22:19

first boyfriend in high school he

22:21

actually cheated on me once and

22:24

it was by receiving a blow

22:26

job. That was before I had

22:28

ever given him a blow job. So

22:30

at that point I took him back. He

22:34

felt like awful but I

22:36

think it might have been a little bit of

22:38

manipulation now looking back on it. But

22:41

I did tell him that I was

22:43

never going to give him a blow job then. I

22:48

was like okay we can get back together

22:50

but I will never do that for you. Okay

22:55

yeah so then when Max and I got together I

22:58

was self-conscious about it.

23:00

I didn't feel like I knew

23:02

what to do and he knew that. He

23:05

took his time with me and let me

23:07

kind of ease into it. And

23:10

I think another thing that

23:12

has helped me just learn

23:14

with it on my own and really

23:18

take in the body language and what they're

23:20

responding to is that

23:22

I never watched porn before. So

23:26

I didn't already really have an idea

23:28

of how to do it. So I

23:30

learned very specifically with

23:32

Max and

23:34

our understanding of each other after

23:37

being together for over 20 years and 19 years

23:39

of that was

23:42

monogamous. I only myself and

23:44

him. Yeah and

23:47

we always had great

23:49

sex even during the headache years but

23:52

it's been really special just learning

23:54

and honing that skill with him

23:57

specifically. So yeah I think that's

23:59

it. one of my favorite things to do.

24:01

I again, with the decision

24:03

making, I don't want to

24:05

decide when it will start or stop.

24:08

So I want to be told that but then in the

24:10

middle, I love to go. Just

24:12

go with it. I

24:15

have found some of the younger guys

24:18

get a little too excited. And then

24:20

they want a little bit of

24:23

control. But they're learning.

24:26

I'm teaching them that it's going

24:29

to be a really more sensual

24:32

experience. Yeah.

24:34

Can you describe the feeling inside that

24:36

is like the difference between your full

24:38

submissive self and the part that's like,

24:41

no, I'm in charge of this blowjob.

24:43

I would say my

24:46

outward actions or I

24:49

don't know mood doesn't really change

24:51

during that time. But

24:53

I do get more focused

24:57

during that time. The rest

24:59

of the time when I'm being very submissive,

25:02

I get very lost in it. We have

25:04

to explain to some of the people that

25:06

if you say something to me or ask

25:09

me to do something at

25:11

first, I may not even

25:13

be able to comprehend the words.

25:17

My audio processing slows down so much.

25:19

And I'm like, what? Also, though, to

25:21

be fair, if it's during play

25:23

half the time, like, if I'm like

25:25

squished between someone's thighs, and they're talking to me and

25:28

my mouth is on a cock, I'm like, what? What

25:30

are you saying? Yeah, I can't, you know, so are

25:33

my, my heads buried in a

25:35

pillow? Exactly. Exactly. Things like

25:37

that. Yeah. Another thing about

25:40

me that we've discovered after

25:42

I was like, okay,

25:44

let's learn everything about sex is that

25:47

I just come so

25:49

easily. And I

25:52

have actually rolling

25:54

orgasms where

25:57

I'm in it for a really long

25:59

time. really long time. Something

26:01

can take me out of it for

26:03

a second like the dog sparking during

26:06

it or things like that but then

26:08

I can get right back into it.

26:10

Give us details of that please. Like

26:13

is there a certain type of stimulation that

26:15

gets you there? Was it a certain mind

26:17

frame or is it a build? Like how,

26:19

like tell us about these rolling orgasms because

26:21

I just recently experienced my first like, oh

26:23

I don't think this is gonna stop and

26:26

it was like a multiple playing

26:28

situation and I was like are your

26:30

hands okay? Are you tired? Plus licking.

26:32

And is it the same for you?

26:34

Like is it different? Can they happen?

26:37

You tell us. They can

26:40

happen pretty much any time. Everything

26:43

is also very mental for me. So

26:46

I have had mental

26:48

just like thigh clenching.

26:52

Orgasm. Okay. Yes. Cool.

26:54

And most specifically usually

26:57

it's during I do

26:59

orgasm while giving blowjobs and

27:02

get very wet during that time. I

27:05

might start, I'd say that's a

27:07

little bit more rare is me

27:10

really starting then but

27:12

otherwise it's any

27:15

type of touch

27:17

or contact or really

27:20

sexy moments. So

27:22

Max and I also experienced

27:25

comparison. So

27:27

when he's being pleased

27:29

or pleasing another woman

27:31

that excites me and

27:33

I feel that pleasure and

27:35

vice versa. So that

27:38

has really helped with like how

27:40

much we love the hot wife

27:42

thing. Yeah. We like to joke

27:44

that sometimes I have to call

27:46

mercy simply because my muscles

27:49

have just been contracting for so

27:51

long. So I was gonna ask

27:53

about that. That's like do you

27:55

get sore? Like I've mentioned her

27:57

ask it's so sore from clenching.

28:02

Yeah, I don't think I usually register

28:04

that one. I usually

28:07

register more feet twitching too.

28:10

Sometimes that happens. My feet twitch.

28:12

A lot of the times it's

28:14

my legs or my abs because

28:18

I can track my whole body

28:20

together. That was something that kind

28:22

of took us a little while to get used

28:24

to because then

28:27

afterwards I'll still

28:29

go. I might still be going

28:31

with no stimulation for a while

28:33

or the cum dripping

28:36

out. Anything. It could be anything

28:38

like that that just keeps me going. And

28:40

then once I'm done, I'm

28:43

kind of just in a

28:45

haze for quite a while.

28:48

So that has been interesting

28:50

getting used to and letting

28:52

new partners know just how sensitive

28:55

I am. And the fact that

28:57

I won't be very

28:59

vocal while I'm

29:01

coming because I'm unusually

29:04

coming. I

29:06

wouldn't shut up. Yeah. Yeah,

29:09

you just feel like, whoa, that's so

29:12

intense. So

29:14

this orgasmic quality, is it post

29:17

headache years discovery or was it

29:19

there before? I

29:21

would say before I had too

29:24

many things that were taking me out of

29:27

it mentally. In that time,

29:29

I would say I

29:31

always orgasmed anytime, but it

29:33

was more of a one

29:35

orgasm thing. And

29:38

oftentimes Max and I would even orgasm together

29:40

during the headache years. But

29:42

then post headache years, it

29:46

became something where I just

29:48

couldn't believe it. I was just

29:50

coming so much at first, I was like, what

29:53

is what is going on?

29:55

Why why do I get

29:57

so foggy afterwards? Why?

30:00

do I not understand things

30:02

during? Why is it

30:05

that I don't understand words during?

30:08

And then it took us a little while,

30:10

but then we realized and then Max

30:12

has really understood it because

30:15

he just thinks, oh my gosh, if I

30:18

came that much, if

30:21

I was just perpetually coming,

30:24

he doesn't think he could handle it. And

30:27

at one point, I'm sure I couldn't have

30:29

either. But a lot of his encouragement

30:32

and his delight at it, you

30:34

know, he loves it. That's really

30:36

helped me just embrace it and

30:39

just allow it to take me

30:41

over during those times. Wow,

30:44

what a cool surrender. It also

30:46

feels like some sort of

30:48

like karmic balance for like years and

30:50

years of pain and deep

30:53

discomfort every day. Like a six to

30:55

eight is no joke. Like, and I'm sure there

30:57

are days with thicker spikes. Yes,

30:59

I think that also helps with

31:02

honestly, the Shamo meter for

31:04

me. And for both

31:06

of us, and the fact that we

31:08

do go out and, you

31:10

know, get out there a lot, we

31:13

do because we spent 10 years

31:15

not being able to make decisions for

31:18

our own life. And

31:20

he stuck with me. He

31:22

was so patient with me during those years.

31:25

Of course, he wished that he could just take

31:27

care of it and make them go away for

31:29

me. We also, during

31:32

those years, did take couples

31:35

counseling after he asked

31:37

for an open marriage. Of

31:39

course, at that time, I wasn't as sexually

31:41

woke. And

31:44

so I couldn't hear that

31:46

at that time. So I

31:49

had knocked it down completely.

31:51

But we did we did

31:53

couples counseling and we learned how to

31:56

communicate how he could maybe not take it

31:58

as rejection when I turned down,

32:00

it was more of a me

32:02

thing, not that I didn't fire

32:04

him. It was just me physically

32:06

thing. Yeah. And so, yeah, we

32:09

learned that a lot as well

32:11

during those years. So then,

32:15

after we heard one of your podcast episodes,

32:18

we found

32:20

out about.

32:24

So on a trip

32:26

back from Vegas, I said, let's just

32:28

go ahead and do it because that's when I wanted

32:30

to learn. Well, I still do

32:32

want to learn everything there is to know

32:34

about that. Me too. Yeah. So

32:39

at that point, I suggested

32:41

to him that we should sign up in the back

32:43

of my head. I knew that I would have to

32:45

be the one to suggest it

32:47

since I had shot down his idea of

32:49

an open marriage in the past. So

32:52

I think that's kind of that

32:54

also helped us understand that

32:57

we were both into it

32:59

and into exploring and but

33:02

there were also speed bumps along the way with

33:05

anything. Absolutely. So

33:09

tell us now those are all so many things

33:11

that you have learned that make you awesome at

33:13

sex. Is there a specific like helpful

33:16

sex related lesson that you have

33:18

learned that has like shifted your

33:20

sex life in a meaningful way

33:22

or your relationship to sex, some

33:24

aspect of sex? I

33:26

think there are a

33:28

couple. One of the

33:30

first ones was our very first

33:33

threesome that we had with

33:35

a woman before. Of course, I

33:38

was very nervous as

33:41

you are meeting someone new, especially after

33:44

you haven't dated anyone for

33:46

19 years. So

33:50

I learned in that experience

33:52

how important it is for

33:55

me personally to tell

33:57

our story. During the build

33:59

up, then during that

34:02

experience, I wanted to

34:04

tell the whole story. When I got

34:06

to the end of it and the

34:08

positive, once the headaches were

34:11

resolved, I started crying.

34:16

Before our threesome, when we were still

34:19

talking, and so Max had

34:21

to jump in and say, no, these are

34:23

happy tears. These are very happy tears. I

34:27

do remember that immediately after that,

34:29

after the tears had

34:31

stopped, I wanted to show her,

34:35

while I wanted to show her my

34:37

scar from one of the surgeries I

34:39

had during the headache years. So

34:41

it was just short off. Okay,

34:44

I'm ready to go. So

34:48

that was one of the things in

34:50

the lifestyle that just taught me something

34:52

right away. I'd say another one

34:54

was one of the

34:57

less desirable experiences.

35:01

It really helped me learn, even

35:04

though I do go so submissive,

35:07

I have to keep myself

35:10

and what I'm feeling, I

35:12

have to be toned into

35:15

that still, because Max

35:17

doesn't always know how I feel. We've

35:20

learned even more as

35:22

we go that we are so

35:24

aligned and we are into very

35:27

much the same things. But

35:30

during that time, I was bitten a

35:33

few different places and we had

35:35

already laid the ground rule that

35:38

there's no pain. I

35:41

love spanking, but outside

35:43

of that, no pain. And that's really

35:45

especially because of the medication I have

35:48

to take for my headaches. It

35:50

makes it much easier for me to bleed,

35:52

or not bleed, but bruise. Oh

35:55

shit, yeah. Yeah, and I've

35:57

got translucent skin. So

36:02

they, yeah, they show up and it

36:05

was a binding situation where it was

36:07

kind of soft and then a little

36:09

bit harder, a little bit harder. And

36:12

then the last one was just really

36:15

hard. I did have

36:17

very significant bruises for about two

36:19

and a half weeks that did

36:22

really mess with my brain. Yeah.

36:24

That's quite a lot. Yeah. And

36:27

I've been hearing from my brain for a while and

36:29

we've experienced a few different things from that, but we

36:31

have learned so much. So

36:34

that's why I even say it's just one of

36:36

those less desirable experiences.

36:38

Yeah. So we

36:40

take those as such

36:43

a learning experience for us.

36:45

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at drpeppergetaway.com. I

40:39

would love to hear a little bit about

40:41

what it was like to learn, oh my

40:43

gosh, I'm into this lifestyle. You know, because

40:45

I imagine it sounds like your first experience

40:48

was with one other

40:50

female partner, and then you've done

40:52

a lot of swapping as well, right?

40:54

That's pretty much the makeup. We

40:57

have. So first it was a

40:59

threesome with a woman. I

41:01

believe the next experience we had was same

41:03

room with a couple. They

41:06

were brand new. And then

41:09

I think our third experience was kind

41:11

of a booty call couple

41:13

swap. I

41:16

mean, it was something where I had connected

41:18

with the guy earlier in the day, and

41:21

they were really anxious and excited to

41:24

experience a swap. They had tried a

41:26

couple times. We had not

41:28

yet tried, but we were both

41:30

ready for it. We

41:32

were both excited about it. So we've

41:35

had kind of the full gamut. We've

41:38

been to sex clubs as well. But

41:40

for the most part, we

41:43

just learn from every experience.

41:46

And the hot wife thing,

41:48

yeah, yeah, yeah, last male,

41:50

female, male was something

41:53

that we didn't think we

41:55

would really be into. We hadn't really

41:57

considered it. We went into it. think

42:00

how a lot of couples go into it, which is

42:03

first it was maybe just a

42:05

woman, you know, three men

42:07

with a woman. And then we got

42:09

more comfortable with a couple swap. And

42:11

we did look for that fairly early

42:14

on. But it took us

42:16

a while to really think about the

42:18

possibility of having a single male come

42:21

in. In that situation,

42:23

Max really learned that he

42:27

enjoys seeing another man

42:29

desire me. And yeah,

42:33

it's amazing. And

42:36

the first couple times he participated, so

42:38

it was a true male feel male,

42:40

then we even got into, he went

42:43

into a phase where he really just

42:45

wanted to watch. So

42:47

he would lay on the

42:49

bed typically closed. And

42:52

he would just watch my face kind

42:54

of hold my hand sometimes during and

42:57

the fun thing is, if he learned through

42:59

that, what a good

43:01

bull or a good guest is

43:05

to where he has been able to do

43:07

that separately as well now. Cool.

43:10

Oh, well you say what are your

43:12

opinions of what makes a good guest

43:15

star in your relationship? I

43:17

would say someone who

43:19

really appreciates our relationship together.

43:22

That is something that we

43:24

especially like to share with

43:26

people too, because we feel

43:29

so lucky that we found each

43:31

other so young. And we've

43:34

just grown together through all these

43:37

years. So that's

43:39

something also, we've had

43:41

a few single males where

43:43

they kind of encourage Max

43:45

to join, but

43:47

then they don't think about

43:50

positions or things where everyone

43:52

can be involved. So

43:56

yeah, and definitely listening

43:58

to the husband. been

44:00

if he suggests something like

44:03

a position where in sometimes, you

44:06

know, I guess the single guy has just been

44:08

so focused on what he's doing in that

44:10

moment. Another

44:12

thing that I really enjoy

44:14

about having guests, especially

44:17

singles, is when

44:19

they really just

44:21

appreciate the fact

44:23

that Max wants to share me.

44:26

He wants other people to experience

44:29

me. So that's

44:31

been so much fun.

44:34

Yeah. I feel like that's

44:36

a really special thing, especially because I have a

44:38

sense that I cannot always feel it if the

44:40

other person doing air quotes really means

44:42

it. But it's like that energy when

44:44

the partner really does have that compression and

44:47

you can sense that there's like, you

44:49

know, all the way joy happening, that's

44:51

really nice. I would

44:53

say that kind of plays into one

44:56

or two of the speed bumps that we've had

44:58

as well. Okay. Is

45:01

being able to fully accept

45:03

that, oh, he

45:05

really means it when he's saying that. Not,

45:09

oh, he thinks it's what I want to hear. You

45:12

know, things like that. And when

45:14

we first got into the lifestyle, I

45:17

have such a neurotic, overthinking

45:19

brain. So

45:22

very quirky, all of that, where

45:25

I knew that if I was not in

45:27

it 100%, that I would second

45:32

guess every decision that I made.

45:35

So luckily that was something that I

45:37

was able to recognize before we even

45:39

did it. And so

45:41

we went into it with that in mind.

45:44

Of course, then we had to figure out exactly what each

45:47

other's 100%. But

45:51

all of those speed bumps have

45:54

really just helped our relationship.

45:57

We've learned how to talk so openly

45:59

with. each other. And again, how to

46:02

really believe that what the person is

46:05

saying is not just what they're saying,

46:08

because they want you to hear it, it's

46:10

that they are on that same page with

46:12

you. So that's been a lot

46:14

of learning. Yeah, and it sounds like

46:16

it's really based off of years

46:19

and years of trust and then ongoing

46:21

communication. Like, one of the things that

46:23

I think is so beautiful about your

46:25

relationship is like, yes, you've been together

46:27

for two decades. But you're also

46:29

making an effort to get to know, like you said,

46:31

the current you, you know, not the you of a

46:33

long time ago. And that's something that I've read

46:36

about and seen happen where we use heuristics to make

46:38

the short cut. Like, oh, I already know you. And

46:40

we get un-curious about each other. And it sounds

46:42

like you are evolving together

46:45

in some really juicy ways.

46:47

Yes. I didn't ask you, what

46:50

was it like to realize that you were

46:52

not straight? Like, was that anything

46:54

for you as a pastor's kid or the

46:56

Oklahoma origin situation? Because you seem pretty chill

46:59

and like open about all the swapping,

47:01

then the threesomes and the ladies and everything. I

47:03

would say I am now. When

47:07

we first started with

47:09

the couple swaps and and the threesomes

47:11

with a woman, I just

47:14

knew that I wouldn't

47:16

know how I felt in the

47:18

moment, you know, before it

47:20

first happened. Yeah, we don't know till we

47:22

know. Yeah. So I

47:24

mean, I guess I was very honest

47:26

about that upfront, because I've

47:29

never been with a woman. So

47:31

I don't know how I'll react. I

47:34

think since then, I've

47:36

realized even more that it's

47:39

just its personalities that attract

47:41

me. So it could be a

47:43

woman, it could be a man. I'm definitely

47:46

still less confident

47:48

when it comes to women.

47:51

And my submissiveness

47:53

really comes into play with that

47:56

as well. I almost never

47:58

make the first move. with

48:00

a woman. I mean, I guess

48:02

I almost never make the first movement with a

48:05

man either without

48:07

submissiveness. But Max

48:09

has said this once he started doing

48:12

a few things with guys, was

48:15

that it wasn't a big thing. You

48:18

know, once he tried it, he was like, okay, the

48:21

world didn't turn upside down. It wasn't

48:24

a huge thing. So I

48:27

would definitely say my typical attraction

48:30

is still very much men, just

48:32

on a regular scale. I've never

48:34

dated a woman alone, or

48:37

been with a woman alone. I think it

48:39

would just have to be the right woman. Yeah, which

48:42

I just haven't experienced that

48:44

much. And honestly, it's

48:47

harder to find women than

48:49

all the single males who

48:51

are ready. I

48:53

relate to I'm like, it's like I

48:56

have to bat away dudes with

48:58

women I like have so much

49:00

aspiration and more social skills

49:02

to figure out, you know, and so I, so I make my

49:04

very much, you know, I do have

49:07

my slur to my girlfriends, and I'm getting better at

49:09

talking, but I really relate to a lot of what

49:11

you said. I would love to

49:13

hear a standout story from

49:15

any point of your sexual

49:18

evolution about a moment

49:20

where your desire was peaked, like

49:22

you were aroused or intrigued or something.

49:24

And you know, how did that anticipation hope live

49:26

in your body? What did it lead to? One

49:31

that actually really comes to

49:33

mind was last

49:35

night. Oh,

49:37

a freshman. It

49:41

is actually a couple that we've seen several

49:44

times before. But it

49:46

really set in last night for

49:48

all of us, that every

49:51

time we get together, it's better

49:54

and better and better. That's

49:56

so hard. Yeah. And they're,

49:58

they're very. open and they

50:00

like to be kind of slutty sluts

50:03

like we do. So

50:07

we realized that we went a couple

50:10

rounds, we went out and we had

50:12

dinner and then we came back and

50:14

chatting before the third round. We

50:17

realized that the

50:19

other man also has started

50:22

becoming open with playing with other

50:25

men. And

50:27

we hadn't brought it up

50:29

with Max yet that he

50:31

does, mostly because

50:33

it was still kind of a fairly new

50:36

thing the last time we had seen them.

50:38

And then there's still some

50:40

of that we're just not sure how other

50:43

people are going to react. So

50:46

then the third round, we were all

50:48

excited to throw that in there

50:50

as well. And I

50:52

know another part of that that Max

50:54

really enjoys is when

50:58

the other woman really wants to see

51:00

it, really

51:03

wants to see their guy with another

51:05

guy. And that's

51:07

something that I have always

51:09

wanted to see, but never

51:11

had any pressure towards Max to do

51:13

it. That was something that like took

51:16

him a little longer to

51:19

realize and to, I guess, just

51:21

really be interested in after

51:23

he realized just how sexy

51:26

all of the moments are, you know,

51:28

and how sexy it can be. Yes,

51:31

absolutely. Yeah, to where

51:33

now we often refer to it

51:35

as a buffet of body parts. Yeah,

51:40

because imagine if like you had to avoid part

51:42

of the buffet, you know, like, you're like, yeah,

51:44

you're not actually allergic. You just touch it. I

51:46

don't know. It's okay. Yeah.

51:51

So, and then again, I'm

51:53

getting there with women. It's a longer

51:55

process, I would say. Yeah,

51:57

getting to know yourself getting to know them. Yeah,

52:00

and it's confidence building, I think is part of it, at

52:02

least for me, you know, when something

52:04

is new and unfamiliar. Yeah, I mean,

52:06

I definitely remember even turning down sex

52:08

that I really wanted, even

52:10

with all the rejection I was getting, because I

52:12

didn't feel necessarily like, good enough, air quotes again,

52:15

to engage because I was like, I don't really know.

52:18

Here's a question for you, my submissive friend.

52:20

I imagine if I were, I feel like we

52:23

maybe have a similar, no, I'm projecting all my

52:25

submissive nazandis. Just to be honest

52:27

about it. So I, in a scenario, am

52:29

like, if I have a partner

52:32

already who I'm submissive to, I'm like, I put

52:34

myself at the bottom of the pile. I love

52:36

to be the most submissive person, like the least

52:38

important person in the pile. Like I'm the most

52:40

important by being the least important. That's kind of

52:42

like a meditation teaching on ego. I'm like, I'm

52:45

the worst, I'll serve you all. I imagine that

52:47

Max is like your ultimate authority

52:49

in a group situation. Do you also serve the others

52:51

or how do you kind of organize it in your

52:53

head, if at all? He's

52:55

my safe space for submissiveness,

52:58

but his dominance

53:01

is never a, you

53:04

do this to her, to him. It's

53:06

always a, hey, you guys could do

53:08

this. The way

53:10

that I think about it in my head,

53:12

of course, I'm still learning all the terms.

53:16

Yeah. Everything. But

53:18

maybe more of a pleasure,

53:22

dom sub relationship,

53:25

possibly even a little bit

53:27

of, I don't want to

53:29

say fully like baby

53:32

girl type thing, but kind

53:34

of more of a caring,

53:36

the narrative submissive, nurturing. Yeah, I

53:38

definitely pick that up from talking

53:41

to you. Yeah, definitely. And

53:43

with Max, it's always a, I want

53:45

to be a good girl. So

53:49

when they do suggest something, I

53:51

know it's because they

53:54

consider it's either going to be really pleasurable

53:56

for me or the other person or both.

53:59

So I always take. it as a yes

54:01

let's try it. I really really I'm

54:03

like I'm like you have an idea

54:05

I love ideas I usually feel like

54:08

I'm pushing my ideas on people I

54:10

will do your idea and then I'm

54:12

like alright calm down and just play

54:14

okay. I think for me that part

54:16

is a little bit opposite just because

54:18

of my I just

54:21

don't know what's possible out

54:23

there and that's another reason

54:25

why we've loved listening to

54:27

your podcast and hearing things

54:29

that people have tried and

54:32

wait oh my gosh something I

54:35

really might be into. So

54:39

relatable how did my bucket list get over

54:41

600 items long? Well

54:43

lots of muses.

54:46

Okay so could

54:49

you tell us a moment that you maybe

54:51

have experienced of and this

54:53

can be like just you and one other partner

54:55

or it could be a group thing you tell

54:57

us but I would love to hear a moment

54:59

that was a hot explicit or

55:01

clear in some way shape or form doesn't

55:03

have to be words explicit mutual yes that

55:06

led to something that was just such a turn

55:08

on or a great scenario. I

55:10

think a few of the

55:12

first times really that Max

55:14

played with a guy it's mostly

55:18

been in couple swaps there

55:20

have been a few times in like

55:22

a male-female male where

55:24

it's happened as well so

55:26

I remember one of the

55:28

first times in a male-female male when

55:31

he actually bottomed

55:34

for a little while and you

55:36

know he was bent over and I just

55:39

laid kind of right in front of him

55:41

and I was just kind of

55:43

stroking his arms and really

55:45

being there for him because it

55:48

took me a while to get used to that as

55:50

well and

55:52

it takes some training so I

55:54

really enjoyed that part and we

55:57

were all just like yes

55:59

let's try Let's try it all.

56:01

Let's try anything that anyone wants to.

56:06

I think another thing that comes to

56:08

mind with that is just kind of more of

56:10

a general, not a specific thing. But

56:13

we like to ask people what it

56:15

is that they desire

56:18

or their fantasies, things

56:20

like that. And then

56:22

we absolutely love fulfilling fantasies

56:25

and having first. You

56:28

know, oftentimes anybody

56:30

who's in that situation will say, oh my

56:32

gosh, this is a first for me. And

56:35

then Max and I just get so excited.

56:38

It is exciting. That is so exciting.

56:41

This seems like it could be a good

56:43

place to talk about act worship, what you

56:45

like. Yes. What do

56:47

you like about it? Like what directions giving

56:49

receiving? What do you do? What

56:52

is your worship of asses like? So

56:55

it has almost always been receiving.

56:59

Every once in a while, I'll worship

57:01

a woman's ass for a second. But

57:04

usually in those situations, there's at least

57:07

one other guy, if not two, and

57:09

they would

57:11

love to worship both of our asses.

57:13

Yes. Ooh, that's hot. That's

57:17

such a good thing. Yes.

57:20

And with that, sometimes

57:22

that's really our only

57:24

foreplay besides like a few other things.

57:27

But we've noticed that it

57:29

gets me so wet. Amazing.

57:32

Just being in that situation. Yeah. And

57:36

so then I'm ready to go. Is

57:40

it mostly like, like, do you also enjoy

57:42

receiving anal penetration or is it most of

57:44

like tongue-licking massaging? I'd probably

57:47

say what we kind of consider

57:49

more the ass worship is the

57:52

massaging, the making

57:55

it jiggle, a little bit of spanking

57:57

in there. I would say that's what

57:59

we kind of... kind of consider the

58:01

time of ask worship. Otherwise,

58:04

we just consider anal, but

58:06

yes. Okay. I do

58:08

love anal. I have noticed or

58:10

realized within, I don't know, maybe the

58:12

past couple days that I just need to ask

58:15

more for it or bring it

58:17

up. I'm getting better at asking

58:19

too. It's magic. It's so easy

58:22

when you just ask for it. Like you said,

58:24

like we want to fulfill fantasies. I like fulfilling

58:26

fantasies. I forget other people want to fulfill my

58:28

fantasies and I can just ask.

58:30

Yes. Yes. And that's

58:32

another thing where communication really

58:35

helps because oftentimes I'll

58:38

just say it like when we're kind

58:40

of in the middle of playing like,

58:42

Hey, do you want to fuck my

58:44

ass? And

58:47

a lot of the time at that

58:49

point, he's just loving my

58:51

pussy and love being in there, which

58:56

then I'm like, oh,

58:58

thank you. That's a great compliment. I'll take it. That

59:02

turns me on as well. So

59:04

actually just a day or two ago,

59:06

Max brought up, Hey, it

59:08

might be awesome if you mentioned

59:11

that ahead of time, so

59:14

that he did have that in his

59:17

mind and was ready for

59:19

that a little bit more. Yeah.

59:22

So constantly learning. I

59:25

mean, that's a good point, right? Preparation on both

59:27

sides. Sometimes I'm like, if you just let me

59:29

get ready, then I could see, you

59:31

know, like I'm like, give me more time, give me more of a

59:33

heads up. And I guess it does. Yeah, it goes both ways. In

59:36

terms of like bringing new people

59:38

into your partnership, group play stuff, what

59:40

do you need to feel safe and

59:42

secure health and safety wise? How do

59:44

those conversations unfold for you? We

59:47

have gotten much

59:49

better about, I

59:53

would say having that conversation

59:55

well ahead of time, very

59:58

recently, I think the because

1:00:01

we've brought in some

1:00:03

more single males that

1:00:06

I've met on OnlyFans

1:00:08

or different areas when

1:00:11

they really are able

1:00:13

to show their

1:00:15

personality and be open about

1:00:17

it and listen to our story, things

1:00:20

like that. It has to be something where

1:00:23

you keep me engaged in it. So

1:00:27

that's important. And now with that,

1:00:29

we've just gotten better about asking

1:00:33

very soon before, okay, testing,

1:00:36

when have you been tested last,

1:00:39

partners after that, just for everyone

1:00:41

to feel safe. I

1:00:43

mean, in the two years we have contracted

1:00:46

a few things, easy

1:00:49

things to get rid of luckily, but

1:00:52

in those situations we have learned

1:00:55

it's best to ask before. And

1:00:59

we have increased our testing because we

1:01:01

like to stay active. So we get

1:01:03

tested once a month. And

1:01:05

then we are very

1:01:07

open to condomless play as

1:01:11

long as it has been communicated

1:01:14

and asked before time.

1:01:17

And the testing lines up, things like

1:01:19

that. And then I would say like

1:01:21

with my submissiveness,

1:01:24

my comfort is

1:01:26

mostly max. So

1:01:29

we do both know that sometimes

1:01:31

I can get so submissive that

1:01:34

it's almost like I'm leaving my body.

1:01:37

And I'm not fully there to recognize

1:01:39

what all is going on. But

1:01:42

we've learned each other's boundaries so

1:01:44

well now that I

1:01:46

do almost feel like I can let go

1:01:49

a little bit more as long as he's

1:01:51

there with me. Wow,

1:01:53

no pressure max. But

1:01:56

I have heard that especially from couples

1:01:58

who are trust with each

1:02:00

other and have that dynamic and it sounds like

1:02:02

you guys do. And

1:02:05

now saying that I

1:02:07

have now played with males separately,

1:02:09

which also was something we never

1:02:11

thought we would do at the

1:02:13

beginning, but it's

1:02:15

pretty hot now. There are a few

1:02:18

times where Max will go see a

1:02:20

woman and I will have a male

1:02:22

over. Ooh. Yeah.

1:02:26

And then we talk about it afterwards and

1:02:28

we have the reclaiming, which

1:02:30

is so much fun. I can't

1:02:33

see that. Okay.

1:02:35

I was going to ask you about that. Oh, okay. Okay.

1:02:38

What do you need in a reclaiming or does it just free flow or like how

1:02:40

does it feel to you? I

1:02:42

would say it's very free flowing for

1:02:44

us. Oftentimes if

1:02:46

it's something during the experience

1:02:49

that one of us just

1:02:52

really realized that we liked. I

1:02:54

love the fact that I

1:02:56

can learn a few more things, you

1:02:58

know, in an experience and then Max

1:03:01

and I can perfect it together

1:03:04

and really experiment. And

1:03:06

yes, it is. Okay

1:03:11

on that note, what does nourishing connection

1:03:14

look like for you? It could be

1:03:16

elements or a moment that encapsulates it,

1:03:18

but I would just love to hear

1:03:20

about, you know, especially since nurturing is

1:03:22

such an important part of your connection.

1:03:25

What is nourishing connection? I

1:03:27

would say in that

1:03:30

area, I like to be a

1:03:32

little bit more of a giver

1:03:34

with the nurturing

1:03:37

and caring. I

1:03:39

love making sure that the

1:03:41

other person feels

1:03:44

these things that I feel from them, whether

1:03:46

it's really like they've, I

1:03:49

mean, it may not be that they've done

1:03:51

anything big to make me feel that way,

1:03:53

but I want to reciprocate that. And I

1:03:56

know that there are a lot of guys who've

1:03:59

experienced not great relationships. relationships where someone

1:04:01

was not very supportive

1:04:04

or you know things like that. So

1:04:08

I would say that's a little

1:04:10

bit more of my view

1:04:12

on it is that I

1:04:15

am wanting to provide that for

1:04:18

the others. I see. So

1:04:21

it's nourishing for you to nourish

1:04:23

others. Yes. I

1:04:26

really relate to that. What

1:04:28

about, okay let me give you a challenge question

1:04:30

because I think this is something that all of

1:04:32

us could perhaps allow more of, maybe not work

1:04:34

on. I don't want to create more work for

1:04:36

us. But you know what if

1:04:38

it is full receiving mode? What

1:04:40

does full receiving mode only nourishment

1:04:42

look like for Roxanne? You

1:04:46

know I think maybe the reason

1:04:48

that I haven't really

1:04:51

relaxed into that in the

1:04:53

new Roxanne is

1:04:56

that I feel like I needed so much

1:04:59

of that during my headache years. I

1:05:03

also feel like I wanted to

1:05:05

give that during those years. It

1:05:08

was very hard for me. I mean

1:05:10

I was always very

1:05:12

supportive of him but I

1:05:15

think it was harder on him

1:05:17

to just be there for

1:05:19

me all of the time not fully

1:05:23

understanding what I was going

1:05:25

through. But he was so

1:05:27

patient. It really did hit a time where

1:05:30

I feel like he understood so much more

1:05:32

of what I was going through. I

1:05:35

had all this compassion

1:05:37

and nurturing and nourishment that I

1:05:40

wanted to give during those years.

1:05:43

And so now I'm like yes let me give

1:05:45

it all. Yeah.

1:05:49

Everyone deserves it. I'm

1:05:51

imagining you as like a fountain or a sprinkler

1:05:53

of nourishment. Maybe a hose for Max and then

1:05:55

you get a sprinkler head and you're just. That

1:06:01

perfect. That

1:06:03

very well sums it up. Okay,

1:06:06

so tell us, like, what else

1:06:08

do we need to know about Roxanne

1:06:10

to have kind of a

1:06:12

foolish overview of your sexual self and

1:06:15

or what's on your bucket list? Okay,

1:06:18

I think I

1:06:20

do have one very specific

1:06:23

bucket list item that we've talked

1:06:25

about and I mean

1:06:27

scheduling with adults. Yeah, yeah, totally. It's

1:06:31

pretty difficult. We got to trust the divine

1:06:33

timing. We do. So

1:06:36

for me, I'm

1:06:38

really excited to have a

1:06:41

male male male female. Oh,

1:06:44

I'm excited for you. Yes. I love

1:06:46

that too. Yes. Yes. Tell

1:06:49

us more. What do you do? What are the

1:06:51

fantasies? Yeah, I'm very

1:06:54

much into that it would be

1:06:56

my guys. Like,

1:07:00

guys that we've had experiences

1:07:02

with before. I want

1:07:04

it to be more sensual. I

1:07:06

feel like that is more

1:07:09

my style in bed is

1:07:11

that sensuality and connection. So

1:07:14

I really want it to be something like

1:07:16

that. And Max is excited

1:07:19

about me being spoiled by

1:07:21

several guys. Yeah.

1:07:27

Another thing we've talked about

1:07:29

very recently and had planned

1:07:31

but scheduling again, got in

1:07:34

the way. Yeah. He

1:07:36

really wanted to take me on a Vegas

1:07:38

trip with my current

1:07:40

favorite bull. Yeah,

1:07:44

the three of us go on a Vegas

1:07:46

trip and he just wanted me to feel

1:07:48

so special walking in Vegas with a guy

1:07:50

on each arm. I

1:07:52

love that. Do

1:07:54

you like walk around outside like just in the general

1:07:56

population with a guy on each arm? Have you done

1:07:59

that yet? I haven't. I have not

1:08:01

done it yet. I would say

1:08:04

to a little bit

1:08:06

of a degree, just because

1:08:08

we always meet with people in

1:08:11

public first before

1:08:13

they come back to our place. We have a

1:08:16

specific restaurant that we usually always go

1:08:18

to because it's right down the street

1:08:21

walking distance. Yes, perfect.

1:08:23

I mean, we think the

1:08:26

staff might have an idea.

1:08:28

I definitely remember being a

1:08:30

bartender and we would have series

1:08:32

about people who would bring people

1:08:34

over. So I would be very

1:08:36

certain. I

1:08:41

think the helpful

1:08:43

thing for us is that we

1:08:45

are out here in California where

1:08:47

we don't have any family. I

1:08:50

don't see any of my work

1:08:52

people, few of the work people

1:08:54

that Max knows, do know,

1:08:56

or know a little

1:08:59

bit about it. The creative types, they

1:09:01

expect us to have all the partners

1:09:03

anyway. They do. Or

1:09:07

they're at least not surprised usually. So I

1:09:09

think that's just something that makes it even

1:09:11

a little bit more exciting

1:09:13

for us because it

1:09:16

isn't something that has really any

1:09:18

anxiety around it for us. And

1:09:21

I think to answer the first

1:09:24

thing that popped into my head on your

1:09:26

other question, and that was

1:09:28

just now that we've started

1:09:31

the OnlyFans and

1:09:33

different things where we're sharing,

1:09:35

that's something that I've realized

1:09:38

that I just love. I love sharing

1:09:40

my personality there. Cool. Yeah.

1:09:43

And little

1:09:45

cute things. I like to do

1:09:47

that because if you're

1:09:50

someone who doesn't like someone

1:09:52

who's quirky and a

1:09:54

little weird, but

1:09:57

also doesn't mind showing those

1:09:59

moments. which we usually

1:10:01

do keep those moments in videos that

1:10:03

we make. We want it all to

1:10:05

feel very real and

1:10:08

in the moment. So that's

1:10:10

something where I've developed such

1:10:12

a confidence that I've never had

1:10:14

in my life. That's awesome. I

1:10:16

was gonna actually ask

1:10:19

like what when was the moment where you're like

1:10:21

yes and only fans like what kind of

1:10:23

like got you to that point? I

1:10:26

was more ready

1:10:28

for it than Max was

1:10:30

when we first started. Really? You just

1:10:33

knew. You were like I think this

1:10:35

is gonna be my vibe. Oh that's

1:10:37

hot. I love that. It was something

1:10:40

also that a long time

1:10:42

ago before any even inkling

1:10:44

of what we would be doing now, every

1:10:47

once in a while we wanted to maybe do

1:10:50

a little video so

1:10:52

we could see what it was about. But every

1:10:54

time we did

1:10:57

during that time I was

1:10:59

just like oh but look at that.

1:11:02

I look gross here and

1:11:04

it kind of turned

1:11:06

into just he didn't want to do

1:11:08

it anymore because I never

1:11:11

felt confident about it. So

1:11:14

during those times even almost just regular

1:11:16

pictures of me out and about I'd

1:11:19

be like no we don't need a

1:11:21

picture of just me with this or

1:11:23

things like that. So then

1:11:26

once I started

1:11:28

realizing that other guys

1:11:31

do find me attractive. Yeah

1:11:34

they do.

1:11:37

Something I really never

1:11:39

knew. Really? Yeah

1:11:42

I did have that for so much of my

1:11:44

life. And then

1:11:47

I started realizing you know

1:11:49

I got the compliments. I

1:11:51

got the guys who were

1:11:53

ready to go. Wanted to

1:11:55

meet up so bad and

1:11:58

that also gave me the confidence. for us

1:12:00

to start taking the

1:12:02

pictures and doing the videos.

1:12:06

And it took on pretty

1:12:08

quickly that I started really enjoying

1:12:10

it. And those were the

1:12:12

times when I was like, oh my

1:12:14

gosh, I have this newfound confidence. I'm

1:12:17

still also this person

1:12:19

who did like a 180 with

1:12:22

my personality and just my life

1:12:24

in general. It's

1:12:26

completely different. So

1:12:28

with that, I've gotten a lot

1:12:31

more comfortable. And then I think

1:12:33

another thing that really had me

1:12:35

wanting to start in OnlyFans was

1:12:38

kind of the swinging and the

1:12:40

group play aspect of

1:12:42

our situation. Because it is

1:12:45

still fairly taboo, I would

1:12:47

say, we're being

1:12:49

the change, we wanna see, we're

1:12:51

doing it. Yes, yes, so much.

1:12:54

I love sharing that. And I love

1:12:57

sharing that it can

1:12:59

really work in a marriage as

1:13:02

long as you're both willing to put the

1:13:04

work into it and be fully

1:13:06

honest with each other. And again,

1:13:09

I love just sharing our

1:13:11

relationship because we are so connected

1:13:14

and feel incredibly lucky about

1:13:16

that. Got

1:13:18

it, awesome. Okay,

1:13:21

so, I mean, you're the perfect person to

1:13:23

ask because you have this background of love

1:13:25

and connection. What do you

1:13:27

think we need to make the world

1:13:30

a more connected, loving, sexy place? We

1:13:34

don't have to call this a night, but I wanna hear you. Yeah.

1:13:39

I guess I do feel like, of

1:13:41

course, we're getting closer and closer. And

1:13:44

some of that we've seen

1:13:46

mostly with the male-male contact.

1:13:50

There are quite a few guys and

1:13:53

couples that never

1:13:55

express wanting to experiment

1:13:58

or... anything

1:14:00

like that. But then once Max

1:14:02

kind of started talking about the things

1:14:04

that he's done so far, the

1:14:07

guys are being

1:14:09

more willing to try it out. And

1:14:12

I think another thing with us is we're

1:14:15

very non-threatening.

1:14:18

We are very flexible.

1:14:21

We never have any

1:14:23

expectations for an experience

1:14:26

to where people do,

1:14:28

luckily, feel really comfortable

1:14:30

with us and open up to

1:14:33

us fairly quickly. We've

1:14:35

been a lot of couples first. So,

1:14:39

yeah. Shepherds!

1:14:42

That's beautiful. Yeah, and

1:14:44

I love sharing that. And we can tell

1:14:46

pretty quickly if there's a

1:14:49

couple where maybe one of them is more into

1:14:52

it, the other one's more hesitant.

1:14:55

What do you do? We've called off a

1:14:57

few like, okay, you know,

1:14:59

and maybe we can have

1:15:02

another coffee date or whatnot to

1:15:04

see where they are. But then

1:15:06

there are other times where we're

1:15:08

just like, okay, that's it. They're

1:15:10

not totally ready for

1:15:12

this yet. And we've

1:15:14

voiced that a few times, the

1:15:17

couple. But I think probably

1:15:20

some of the openness around it,

1:15:22

not feeling the shame, would

1:15:25

be great if in more sexual

1:15:28

or group experiences,

1:15:31

if it isn't so much as

1:15:35

you're going to be a body here. You

1:15:38

know, we've had several bulls who

1:15:41

were very surprised with

1:15:44

us. We've heard stories where

1:15:46

bulls oftentimes are just brought

1:15:48

in and they're expected

1:15:50

to get hard when they're

1:15:53

told to get hard. They're expected.

1:15:55

Really? Are they

1:15:57

getting hired on set? No, this is just for fun.

1:16:00

What? Yes. Just for fun. Yes.

1:16:03

Very interesting. Like without a specific, like it's one

1:16:06

thing if that's your kink, that's your dynamic, you

1:16:08

set it up that way. But for that to

1:16:10

be the baseline expect... So wait, so am I

1:16:12

understanding correctly the part that's

1:16:14

unique about you and Max are that

1:16:16

you're creating a personal connection with the

1:16:19

bull? Yes. We

1:16:21

want him to feel comfortable. Yeah. We

1:16:23

don't have any expectations. There's

1:16:25

still very much that stigma

1:16:27

with a guy if he

1:16:30

isn't able to get hard or he's

1:16:33

just nervous in the situation and

1:16:35

doesn't perform the way he wished

1:16:37

he had. And so

1:16:39

I love telling them like, no,

1:16:42

the other things that you

1:16:44

did. Yeah. I mean, I was coming the entire

1:16:47

time. And

1:16:50

then we've had some guys who after

1:16:53

that they were very appreciative

1:16:55

of, you know,

1:16:57

my understanding about that because I know

1:17:00

if I had to try to make

1:17:02

sure my body did something specific,

1:17:05

it could be a train wreck. For sure.

1:17:07

For sure. Okay. So on that note, what I was

1:17:09

going to say is as a fellow cock worshipper,

1:17:11

do you not also like

1:17:14

a soft cock? I love playing with

1:17:16

a soft cock and like, and without

1:17:18

expectation, but it's like when I do

1:17:20

that and really am just playful, sometimes

1:17:22

it gets hard unless the

1:17:24

person is like in their head focusing

1:17:27

about, you know, hardness. Yeah,

1:17:29

I think that comes to be the

1:17:31

issue a lot of the time is

1:17:34

they won't let themselves get out of

1:17:36

their head. But yes,

1:17:38

I love just playing with it

1:17:41

all. I love having a

1:17:44

soft one and that I can

1:17:47

just, and honestly, that's

1:17:49

when they do get a little

1:17:51

bit more submissive and

1:17:53

actually let me do my work.

1:17:55

Yeah. Let me do my work.

1:17:57

Yeah. Also. I

1:18:00

think I'm also fascinated because I'm like I don't

1:18:02

have anything on my body that is like soft

1:18:05

and been hard like that and so I

1:18:08

think for me just the fluctuation like there's

1:18:10

something very interesting about that. It

1:18:12

is yeah and I guess

1:18:15

for a while Max expressed

1:18:18

that he would love to

1:18:20

be able to see me come you

1:18:22

know because women can see men come.

1:18:25

Men can't as much

1:18:28

see that so I think

1:18:30

another thing that's helped me kind

1:18:32

of relax into it and something

1:18:35

that has developed over this time

1:18:37

when we've been really

1:18:39

into sex was I've

1:18:41

become a creamer. Yes.

1:18:46

You become? Yes.

1:18:48

I don't think I had ever

1:18:50

creamed before. I mean I would

1:18:52

get pretty wet. Yeah. But I

1:18:54

have become a creamer and I

1:18:56

think it's almost even

1:18:59

more for me than

1:19:01

him because I

1:19:03

know that I'm being a

1:19:05

good girl. I mean doing that.

1:19:07

Yes. I love that. And about

1:19:09

the soft cock thing I still

1:19:12

kind of hang my hat on

1:19:14

it that once I

1:19:16

was able to get Max to come with

1:19:18

a soft cock. Yeah.

1:19:23

I love that. Where were you stimulating?

1:19:26

Well I was kind of blowing him.

1:19:28

Okay. That's amazing. You know ball

1:19:30

play a little bit and

1:19:33

I mean of course he

1:19:35

did get a little bit harder but during

1:19:37

that time it kind of

1:19:40

surprised him like it built up really

1:19:42

quick all of a sudden. Yeah.

1:19:45

And it was a little bit more surprising

1:19:47

which I loved. Yeah.

1:19:50

No it's so fun. I mean I love

1:19:52

the grooves that I have and I love those

1:19:54

surprise moments where we discover stuff that we weren't

1:19:56

even looking for. I think that's just my favorite.

1:19:58

Okay. Is there anything else? you must share

1:20:00

with us before I ask you the

1:20:02

wrap up question. I guess some

1:20:05

of the learning

1:20:07

about those desires

1:20:09

are things that we

1:20:11

didn't think we would be into, but

1:20:13

now we are. Even has

1:20:15

to do with the only fans

1:20:18

that I have now. Specifically,

1:20:20

like the butt plugs with

1:20:22

tails. Yes, oh, yes,

1:20:24

yes. So

1:20:28

I once had a subscriber, and I

1:20:30

had posted butt plug stuff before,

1:20:33

and he asked me if

1:20:35

I would ever do

1:20:39

a butt plug with a tail. And

1:20:41

he would get it for me. So he

1:20:43

got me, yeah. So hot. That

1:20:45

turns me on next level because it's like the layers

1:20:47

of it. Or it's like eating food someone gave you,

1:20:49

reading a book someone gave you. OK, I love that.

1:20:51

What kind was it? I think it

1:20:53

was kind of purple and white. So it kind of

1:20:55

went off my hair. Love

1:20:58

that. So the purple and white tail,

1:21:00

it also had a purple collar with

1:21:02

a heart right there and some

1:21:05

fuzzy ears. Yes. Yeah,

1:21:09

I took videos, and Max

1:21:11

helped me get a video

1:21:13

of him putting it in and other

1:21:16

videos and pictures of me in the

1:21:18

full garb. I think that's also the

1:21:20

guy who eventually bought a pair of

1:21:23

my panties. Amazing.

1:21:26

Ooh, you sell panties as

1:21:28

well. Ooh. I do.

1:21:30

I've only sold one pair so far.

1:21:33

That's great. But I'm very

1:21:35

open to it. I love

1:21:37

writing, well, I guess only the one

1:21:40

time, but I love

1:21:42

writing the little notes to them,

1:21:44

personalized notes. And afterwards,

1:21:47

we even went out and got cute

1:21:50

pineapple stickers and

1:21:52

cute stickers and things that I

1:21:54

could do to have

1:21:56

that personal touch. But getting

1:21:58

back to the tail. thing. After

1:22:02

Max took the videos and

1:22:04

the pictures, then we

1:22:07

were both excited and wanted to have

1:22:09

a session, just the two of us.

1:22:11

So I took off the ears. And

1:22:15

I think at that point, we decided

1:22:17

to keep the collar on. And then I

1:22:19

told Max that he could take the butt

1:22:22

plug out because we had

1:22:24

always said, like, oh, Tails, I don't

1:22:26

know. But when the subscriber

1:22:28

asked me, I said, Oh, I'd love

1:22:30

to do that for you. So

1:22:33

I told Max to take it out. And then

1:22:35

he said, I think I might just

1:22:37

leave it in. And

1:22:40

so that ended up being something where

1:22:43

we both realize, Hey, now

1:22:45

I can kind of see why it

1:22:47

is sexy for people. I had

1:22:49

the same okay, I had the exact same experience with

1:22:51

my first like tail situation. Mine was more of a

1:22:54

kitty and mine was a solo masturbation. But it was

1:22:56

like, what was did you identify as an animal or

1:22:58

were you just like purple creature? I

1:23:01

think I just identified

1:23:04

as this is

1:23:06

something that this guy

1:23:08

really wants. Got this. Yeah, yeah. So I want to

1:23:10

give it to him. Yeah, no, I

1:23:13

thought but it was so interesting because I too had

1:23:15

the like, oh, well, like, what if I get wet

1:23:17

and the tail gets gross? And I don't know. I

1:23:19

don't know. But then I don't know. I

1:23:21

felt so cute with it. And when I was coming,

1:23:23

I was like, Oh, this is fun. And you know,

1:23:25

and I always love wearing a plug if other stuff is

1:23:27

happening. But I was like, same

1:23:30

experience. Totally. Yes.

1:23:32

Yeah, I was so surprised too.

1:23:34

But again, yeah, I just felt so

1:23:37

cute. dress up. I

1:23:40

love lingerie. I

1:23:43

also before male, female, male,

1:23:46

often I will ask the guests, if

1:23:49

there's anything specific he would like me

1:23:51

to wear. And I can

1:23:55

send you pictures of stuff. Or you

1:23:57

can tell me your favorite color or Do

1:24:00

you like fishnets and a skirt? Lucky them.

1:24:04

You're a generous lover. I

1:24:06

love that. And

1:24:09

I love to be. Yeah. Well, and

1:24:11

that's why it's important to filter so

1:24:13

that you are inviting generous lovers into your

1:24:15

life, right? Because it is so fun to give those

1:24:17

to them. Yes. It is. And

1:24:20

for them to really appreciate it,

1:24:23

I guess. Yeah. Okay. So, imagine

1:24:25

you went to a full spectrum creative

1:24:27

resort. I made up that phrase. But

1:24:29

imagine like a high-end arts camp that

1:24:31

includes wellness and erotic arts. What

1:24:34

would you want to learn? Like, this is a

1:24:36

place where you can try anything, do anything, have

1:24:38

all the toys, it's all safe, there's professionals there,

1:24:41

this doesn't exist yet. But like,

1:24:43

what would you want to learn at this magical space

1:24:45

full of sexy people? Or

1:24:47

experience? But I feel like all experiences are learned.

1:24:50

Again, for me, it's harder

1:24:52

to think of things that

1:24:54

I would want to learn

1:24:56

specifically about. It's more of I

1:24:59

want to learn what's available,

1:25:02

what kind of things are out there.

1:25:05

Because I feel very confident in the

1:25:07

bedroom, but I still feel like

1:25:10

there's so much I don't know. I don't

1:25:12

know what the possibilities are. That's so

1:25:14

true. I'm going to make a fake

1:25:16

brochure and then re-ask this question. That

1:25:19

was the first time testing out that new question. I

1:25:21

can't help it. I get curious. I

1:25:23

guess that's the thing is I would love

1:25:25

to see the brochure and see what is

1:25:27

available. I know. I'm

1:25:29

like, I just need to make a fake story and then

1:25:31

it'll become true. Okay. So

1:25:35

if you had to be a sex

1:25:38

worker for two years, not an OnlyFans

1:25:40

creator, something different. Like in a

1:25:42

world where we all have to serve as sex

1:25:44

workers to serve our country for at least two

1:25:47

years, what sex work job

1:25:49

would you do? I think

1:25:51

I have a mixture. There are

1:25:53

two that I would like to

1:25:55

be involved with. One of

1:25:57

them, I believe, still comes with me. with

1:26:00

that nurturing thing. I

1:26:03

think I would enjoy the girlfriend

1:26:05

experience. Yeah. Giving

1:26:07

that attention, of course,

1:26:10

with the knowledge that I

1:26:12

do have a husband, I do have

1:26:14

a full-time job, so I may

1:26:17

not be able to be there always, but

1:26:19

I will be there for you. For

1:26:22

the number of hours that they purchase

1:26:24

you for. Exactly.

1:26:27

Very hot. And just helping

1:26:29

them feel that there are

1:26:32

women who want the best for everyone.

1:26:35

Or there are men who want the

1:26:37

best for everyone. And that

1:26:39

is very much my

1:26:42

view on life, because I

1:26:45

had that from Max, but wasn't

1:26:47

really able to give

1:26:49

that back or really

1:26:52

experience giving it

1:26:54

to other people, other people, or

1:26:57

really experience it myself, because

1:26:59

I was so

1:27:01

disconnected from daily life.

1:27:04

And that's a long time to be so

1:27:06

out of balance for what is a human

1:27:09

need and norm for that. Yeah,

1:27:12

and I do feel

1:27:14

like that has just helped me

1:27:17

though, be able to really succumb

1:27:19

to it and experience it

1:27:21

all, actually feel it all

1:27:23

and take it all in. And

1:27:26

then the other type of, I don't

1:27:28

know, some sort of sex work that I would like to

1:27:31

do, would be possibly

1:27:33

being kind of an,

1:27:37

not educator, but a

1:27:39

helper for

1:27:41

people wanting to get into the

1:27:43

lifestyle. I'm very passionate about it,

1:27:45

because I feel like we had

1:27:47

a very good entry into

1:27:52

the lifestyle. We used to say,

1:27:55

we've been really lucky with our

1:27:57

experiences. Now we know.

1:28:00

that there is a degree of that

1:28:02

and that we get

1:28:04

those feelings about people. Like I can

1:28:06

kind of tell pretty

1:28:08

soon into messaging

1:28:11

if I feel like they would be a

1:28:13

good match or that they're ready

1:28:16

for this or I mean

1:28:18

of course there are the guys who

1:28:20

would love to just have me

1:28:22

and less yeah

1:28:25

less that respect and

1:28:28

appreciation of Max sharing

1:28:30

me which is something that

1:28:32

we really we really

1:28:34

enjoy when the man is

1:28:37

very appreciative and just

1:28:39

enjoys it so we and

1:28:42

we have heard of some horror

1:28:44

stories of people

1:28:46

with their first experiences and

1:28:49

it's really nice to share

1:28:52

our outlook on

1:28:54

it and how we approach it. I

1:28:58

feel like a lot of people are

1:29:00

the same way but they don't realize

1:29:02

it. They don't realize that's why

1:29:04

they want to do it and

1:29:07

that because that's why they want to do

1:29:09

it they should look out for

1:29:11

people who have the same outlook

1:29:13

on it instead of people

1:29:16

who are just you

1:29:18

know I'll be that piece

1:29:20

of me who comes in or you

1:29:23

know things like that even with

1:29:25

couples too so we've experienced

1:29:27

that if one person

1:29:30

isn't as into it

1:29:32

or as ready you have to be

1:29:34

patient and you have to take it

1:29:36

at your own pace. So

1:29:39

sharing those kinds of insights that

1:29:41

we've discovered I think

1:29:44

would just be fabulous and I guess

1:29:46

that ties into your question about making

1:29:48

the world a little bit more open

1:29:50

and less stigmatized with

1:29:52

things like E&M. Yeah absolutely

1:29:56

I think it's so important to you know being a

1:29:58

guide for others and it sounds like a already

1:30:00

you're doing that job but for free. We

1:30:02

are. Very nice of you. You know and

1:30:04

and also it's like that's what

1:30:06

we do with our passions, right? We follow them and

1:30:08

we do that and it's so beautiful I think to

1:30:10

share learnings in that way and to really just do

1:30:13

our part to spread those ripples of love. Okay

1:30:16

so lastly, you now have

1:30:18

an unlimited budget to build your perfect

1:30:21

creation space playroom dungeon mansion,

1:30:23

palace, castle, hotel, etc. What

1:30:26

is it like? Oh

1:30:28

I would love to have

1:30:32

basically a wall of

1:30:34

toys or display like toys

1:30:37

on display where you

1:30:39

can glance over and see oh

1:30:41

wait that's something I can play

1:30:44

with right now? Let's experience that.

1:30:46

I would also love

1:30:49

to have basically like

1:30:51

a wardrobe with all of my

1:30:53

lingerie, all of my little outfits.

1:30:55

I have a little a little

1:30:57

section in my closet right now but it's

1:30:59

like sexy being in the closet. Yeah yeah

1:31:02

yeah it's harder to get to too. It

1:31:05

is. So I

1:31:07

fantasized about that a little bit. There

1:31:09

are also still just

1:31:11

so many things we haven't tried

1:31:13

so I'd love to

1:31:15

experience a sex chair. I think

1:31:18

I would love to experience

1:31:20

more bondage, blindfolding,

1:31:23

things like that when

1:31:25

I'm really in that submissive

1:31:28

zone. Usually I barely

1:31:30

ever open my eyes. Yeah

1:31:33

I'm like I'm doing

1:31:36

everything until I'm coming and then I'm

1:31:39

like somebody opened my eyes for me because they

1:31:41

get stuck. I think I'm getting a little

1:31:47

bit better with that now

1:31:49

but I've always had well since

1:31:52

the migraine ears and taking all

1:31:54

of the crazy medications that I

1:31:56

took I have noticed I

1:31:59

mean I'm I'm sure some of them were

1:32:01

the different antipsychotics that I had to

1:32:03

try. But I

1:32:05

have found that I believe I

1:32:08

have some facial tics, things like

1:32:10

that, that sometimes surface. And

1:32:13

at first in sexual situations, I was

1:32:15

very self-conscious of that. That

1:32:19

was kind of why I liked the

1:32:21

idea of being blindfolded. Because then

1:32:23

it was like, they won't see as much

1:32:26

and I can get out of my

1:32:28

head a little bit about it. I

1:32:30

feel safe and cozy. I also imagine

1:32:32

if you're coming so much, that's an

1:32:34

immense amount of stimulation. And so for

1:32:36

me, closing my eyes or plugging my

1:32:39

ears, I'm one of those people that now wears

1:32:41

little earplugs if I'm in a loud spot. Because

1:32:44

it is so much, especially for a sensitive

1:32:46

creature. It

1:32:48

really is. But then I guess

1:32:51

now, I've kind of

1:32:53

morphed into that I

1:32:55

like it for the submission part.

1:32:57

And then being blindfolded instead of

1:32:59

me just squeezing my

1:33:02

eyes shut, it's actually taken away

1:33:04

from me. That vision. So then

1:33:07

I experience, I mean, I

1:33:09

don't need that much help experiencing all the

1:33:12

other stuff. But it is

1:33:14

even a little bit more intense.

1:33:16

And taking away that control. Yeah,

1:33:19

haven't done much bondage

1:33:21

yet. I mean, mostly because of

1:33:24

just the way our bedroom is. Also,

1:33:27

you've only been exploring a few years. Like I

1:33:29

mean, come on, you know, and yeah, space is

1:33:31

a real thing. Although they have those under the

1:33:33

bed straps. That's what that was my first like

1:33:35

thing with my former Dom is like a little

1:33:38

thing that X's you can strap

1:33:40

yourself in. I think that's gonna be

1:33:42

one of our next things

1:33:44

to purchase. So definitely

1:33:46

some of that with bondage because

1:33:49

now I think I consider it

1:33:51

even more sexy instead of just

1:33:54

me trying to hide. Oh,

1:33:58

I totally relate to that. So

1:34:00

definitely some of that and I

1:34:03

mean it has to have a big bed

1:34:09

Right Maybe

1:34:12

a super bed like four beds pushed together or

1:34:14

something Yeah,

1:34:20

we would definitely love that That

1:34:22

makes me want to have a big pillow fight. Have you ever

1:34:24

had a pillow fight in your swinging? Situation

1:34:26

oh We want it like I'm I'm

1:34:28

the person if I go to hotel rooms and there's

1:34:30

two beds I will bounce the wrong like if the ceilings

1:34:32

are high enough, you know, like I'm

1:34:38

the person who would love to do that, but

1:34:40

I'm also the person who will end up flying

1:34:42

off the bed Very

1:34:48

safe bounces. Yes. Oh I

1:34:53

just realized of another bucket list That

1:34:56

we we just discovered last

1:34:59

night with the couple another

1:35:01

fresh one. Yeah, go for it Yeah, there's

1:35:04

that couple that we feel very open with

1:35:06

and we just it keeps getting better and

1:35:08

better There's another couple

1:35:10

who's very similar where both

1:35:12

of those women are like

1:35:15

me that they want to give

1:35:17

and Be used

1:35:19

by men like we want to

1:35:22

be that pleasure that they experience

1:35:24

and All of us

1:35:26

have a few single males to that

1:35:28

we play with so

1:35:31

This new fantasy is all three

1:35:33

of us couples getting together and

1:35:35

each couple bringing a bull

1:35:39

Yeah, three couples in a bull sounds like a story.

1:35:41

I definitely would read It's

1:35:50

a fantasy that we really want to make

1:35:52

come true One

1:35:55

of those that is a very

1:35:57

realistic fantasy one schedules are figures

1:36:00

I was gonna say it sounds like

1:36:02

you have to pee-soothe now you just

1:36:04

need to schedule a grown-up schedule. Exactly.

1:36:06

Exactly. That is hot, especially if you

1:36:08

like know people who have people. That

1:36:10

is amazing. Yeah. Well, I

1:36:12

look forward to hearing your future update on

1:36:14

that one. Yes, definitely.

1:36:18

Lovers, you can find Roxanne

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Rox. Go check them out. You are

1:36:35

amazing. Roxanne, thank you so much for being here. Oh,

1:36:37

thank you. Sex stories. Oops, ex stories.

1:36:39

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