0:02

Most resilient people don't want to sit down

0:05

in the valley. They want to figure things

0:07

out so they try again. They try again.

0:09

So these are children who don't whine and

0:12

complain mommy, it's too hard. I can't do

0:14

it. but instead they go Shoot. This was

0:16

hired. I wonder what would make it easier?

0:18

So on their own they still need a

0:21

mom and to be the support system Absolutely.

0:23

But on their own they begin to figure

0:25

things out. So they develop a healthy independence

0:27

which I think is so great. Healthier mental

0:30

health? Well that's Doctor Kathy Cook and she

0:32

joins. Us. Again today on focus on the

0:34

Family with Jim Daily. Thank you for joining

0:36

us. I'm John Fuller shouted sense funny I'm

0:39

laughing. Already going! I'm so excited to hear

0:41

today's program but last time we had a

0:43

great share with Doctor Kathy. Cookie did and

0:45

I just I think I'd love the Art

0:48

of Parenting. I'm no expert, believe it or

0:50

not I get to hear from a lot

0:52

experts, but I just love the challenge of

0:54

it and the thought that it takes to

0:57

do a good job. I don't always do

0:59

a great job. Let me confess that right

1:01

away Gene would say that's. True. But

1:04

you know it's fun. It is an art. Yeah, don't

1:06

you feel like it? When. They were

1:08

younger, it was easier and the stakes were

1:10

it so high and other adults and the

1:13

that's a good new lie down and I

1:15

don't know I'd opportunity. You know you're constantly

1:17

building into them so I think it's been

1:19

pretty even for me As a child. you

1:21

want them to catch certain principles and guidance.

1:23

What we've been talking to Doctor Kathy Cook

1:25

about his building resiliency and dear child I

1:28

think as I listened to all the experts

1:30

that is critical and that's even with scripture.

1:32

I mean scripture is trying to teach us

1:34

that as adults, but how we can help

1:36

that journey for our future. Adults by teaching

1:38

them how to be resilient and when

1:41

the Lord talks a lot about the

1:43

Valleys and what we need to learn

1:45

their so I'm excited about continuing this

1:47

talk with Doctor Kathy Cook. Yeah, she's

1:49

got a great love for the Lord

1:51

in his word, and she loves children

1:54

in helping children thrive. You can hear

1:56

that as she shares. She's a passionate

1:58

champion of children, a cat. Is the

2:00

founder and President of Celebrate Kids

2:02

and or she's a podcast her

2:04

She speaks to parents and educators

2:07

and kids themselves. She's written a

2:09

number of books and that we're

2:11

really excited about this book that

2:13

forms the foundation for a conversation

2:15

today. Resilient kids raising them to

2:17

embrace life with confidence into can

2:19

learn more about Cassie and her

2:21

ministry and or this great book.

2:23

an or web sites of the

2:25

link is in the show notes.

2:28

Welcome back Cassie Cook say here.

2:30

To Atlanta earlier allegedly that resiliency

2:32

is so interesting. Give us the

2:34

recap of why parents should be

2:36

mindful about teaching our children resiliency

2:38

and then we'll get into how

2:40

we do it. Unless it's so

2:42

resiliency is readily recovering from difficulty,

2:44

disappointment, trauma, failure, grief seem the

2:46

difficult parts of life and life

2:48

is going to have difficult parts

2:50

to. As if Southern don't learn

2:53

how to recover and come back,

2:55

maybe even bounce back. Move forward

2:57

Pass the failure to live at

2:59

home forever. Let's put that on

3:01

there. and but most importantly, Gm

3:03

If they don't develop an ability

3:05

to walk out of their trauma,

3:07

they won't become the God intended

3:09

for them to be. And that

3:11

greed is me because God has

3:13

a plan for every person he

3:15

creates and it's only when resilient

3:17

where we come back from difficulty

3:20

that will learn and grow and

3:22

discover how life works, will develop

3:24

character, face and perseverance, intelligence, problem

3:26

solving, Health. Mental Health. All.

3:28

Of the huts and and we know it

3:30

because you didn't want to visit person's even

3:33

watch a fragile person. Very different. Yeah we

3:35

may not understand it that way but when

3:37

you have that them. Grid

3:39

to look through, it does become more

3:42

parents. You know the Lord talks about

3:44

it as Shalom his peace and the

3:46

world's chaos Years and even the Church,

3:48

even Christians can live in the world

3:50

chaos. Know if we're not embracing gods,

3:53

Shalom, his peace and I think his

3:55

piece in some ways is defined as

3:57

learning these tools of resiliency. And you

3:59

know. This is what it's about. I

4:01

think that's brilliant And do we trust

4:03

God? We believe in his strengths are

4:06

don't we have to be Believe that

4:08

he has a purpose for us to

4:10

believe that his wisdom is with following

4:12

and that he is a god. A

4:14

second and third chances to believe that

4:16

forgiveness works et cetera to a model

4:18

that we believe that we teach that

4:21

we celebrate that to be worship him

4:23

so that our kids realize that as

4:25

following him teaches us therefore they might

4:27

want to do. We could spend a

4:29

whole episode. On that yes I mean

4:31

proverbs Three Five right? Yes at. Do

4:33

not lean on your own understanding but

4:35

in all your ways acknowledge him and

4:37

he will make your Pastor and I think

4:39

that's throwing you talking about says I'm

4:41

in that regard as you been with us

4:44

before obviously to talk about the five

4:46

core needs. we did that. now I'm

4:48

in a different episodes. Were going to post

4:50

a link to that program on the

4:52

website so people can go here that

4:54

great content com up but walk us through

4:56

those needs an what they mean for

4:58

our children. I would love to

5:00

because they're super related to resiliency. So the

5:03

first of the poor needs that we believe

5:05

all of us adults as well I created

5:07

to have Mats is need for security. Who

5:09

can I trust? And we're talking about resiliency.

5:11

How to kids overcome trauma, difficulty, deceit and

5:14

embarrassments? They have to trust you if they

5:16

don't stress you to come to you and

5:18

say dad's this happened I don't know what

5:20

to do or mom. I don't know

5:22

to do is they don't trust you. They won't

5:25

come to you and you won't be able to

5:27

be their hero to rescue them in a difficult

5:29

moment. So are you honest? Are you available? Are

5:31

you telling the truth or you teach? seen are

5:33

telling? Are you yelling and same in the city

5:36

to let that happen. Are

5:38

you saying talk to me son Let me help

5:40

you So are you available? I you trustworthy. It's

5:42

huge. Save it if you're not to him and

5:44

I'll say this to put salmon anybody. Obviously we

5:47

all need to ask again to be forgiven because

5:49

we all make mistakes. But I will tell you

5:51

the kids are desperate for security. We.

5:53

Have an identity crisis in our country Because we

5:55

have a security crisis is a security crisis. If

5:57

they can, I trust you to be there. And

6:00

er, hat tell the truth. And. To build

6:02

them up and to be underside they

6:04

will go find someone else. Yeah, that's

6:06

why groups become important frame groups and

6:08

sometimes they're not really helping and the

6:10

most positive of ways that Kathy let

6:12

me ask you in terms of belonging

6:14

and identity. In addition to security which

6:16

he discovered what it does, other two

6:18

elements had asep play into our child

6:20

development of resilience. he has super important.

6:22

So security, Who could I trust leads

6:24

to identity? Who am I? So do

6:26

your kids know their strengths? Have you

6:28

told them that their over climbers? Have

6:30

you told them that. They're learning to

6:32

handle defeat easier than in the past.

6:34

Or we would say speaking weiss it

6:36

as them. yes, given them to set

6:38

us up, holds them and spill some

6:40

ups and then that influences belongings. So

6:42

if they're paying attention and negative people, maybe

6:45

it's because they're negative themselves. So have

6:47

you taught them who they are that

6:49

they are blessed to be? A blessing, that

6:51

they're capable, that they're over comers, that

6:53

they're learners, that they are improving? So these

6:55

are their identities. Another walk into relationships

6:57

and a walk and not defeated and

6:59

not seemed. They walk in. Been.

7:01

Over comers. another look for people who

7:04

are positive influences on their lives as

7:06

well. So that's the outcome of those

7:08

postures for the pair. Yeah, speaking these

7:10

truths to your children, it is. Building.

7:13

Them up? Yeah, hopefully not eating. You overdo.

7:15

that's a good at all. them into a

7:17

false sense of who they are so you

7:20

have to Solitude? Yeah, and. They.

7:22

Must know their strengths to they can

7:24

overcome their challenges. It's not played for

7:26

to know your strengths. It's prideful to

7:28

not know your weaknesses. It's prideful to

7:30

think your strengths are more important somebody

7:32

elses. But if kids don't know their

7:34

strengths, That. Their creative and other centered

7:36

and outgoing and careful and wise and quick

7:38

mathematicians. If they don't know they're saying they

7:40

won't know who they can be and they

7:42

won't know that they can overcome trauma So

7:44

they do up to know that know to

7:46

see them been prideful and the best of

7:49

the best than know. Let's have a lesson

7:51

in humility for house. Yes well let me

7:53

ask this question. I was at a conference

7:55

and this isn't in your book and services

7:57

and outside quite or guess but there was

7:59

a. Specialist a psychologist in

8:01

Trauma soon as the school

8:04

shootings hurricane victims and he

8:06

said they had done research

8:08

ship over five hundred victims

8:11

of these situations traumatic events

8:13

and he said the number

8:15

one. Ah, An

8:17

important tool for human being to get

8:19

through those events and I was expecting

8:22

resiliency. He said it was humility. Oh

8:24

inches and I went wow does it?

8:26

You know That Struck me as such

8:28

an amazing way because the Lord says,

8:31

be humble for I am humbled absolute

8:33

or it may be bigger than poetry.

8:35

Wow. In the Lord is same, Be

8:38

humble because it will help you get through

8:40

life and gets your life's most dramatic moments.

8:42

It allows you to ask for help. Well.

8:45

Nice said. Also allows you to

8:47

emphasize seller you're not. Perhaps.

8:50

In the worst possible position, others may

8:52

be worse off the know. Fascinating. which

8:54

gives you hope. Absolutely saw. I just

8:56

found that Really, when you look at

8:59

resiliency and the new look at humility,

9:01

there is a combination Absolutely Yeah, because

9:03

if I'm not humble of and prideful,

9:05

I will never expect to be wrong.

9:08

And so now what I'm ron

9:10

I'd crumble. For. Somebody who's

9:12

humble and teacher Bolland aware that I

9:14

don't know a lot. Yeah, because I'm

9:17

still young and I'm learning. They handle

9:19

that better because they know that that's

9:21

how life happens. Yes, I think for

9:23

us as Christians, one thing Jean and

9:25

I tried to do was always to

9:27

talk about where center say by great

9:29

that no one's perfect that we're going

9:32

to fail. We're gonna make mistakes like

9:34

we talked about last time and that

9:36

the Lord knows that and his heart

9:38

does not shrink. His love for us

9:40

doesn't shrink because of that. Like a

9:42

good parent, he's gonna be an encouragement to

9:45

us to say okay, pick yourself up was

9:47

cute movement I covered that. You know the

9:49

price that needed to be paid for that.

9:53

Absolutely. I mean that less of the heroes in

9:55

the Bible right where I said we could talk

9:57

forever about Iraq at the best. I mean desert.

10:00

A horrendous decisions and and mistakes if

10:02

you well and yet was a man.

10:04

With. A hard for God and

10:06

mean Jesus as the hero of

10:09

of resiliency, He. Didn't stay

10:11

down and he walked all the way

10:13

to the crisis for us. I'm finishing

10:15

the task. So the Bible alone is

10:17

full of amazing examples of who God

10:19

would want us to be and how

10:21

he would want us to be here

10:23

here so often. Kathy Again, it's feels

10:25

like it's going to be more complicated.

10:27

Students: Your child? Resiliency? That's a big

10:30

word Race: Where does it mean that

10:32

you sexy in of the book has

10:34

great examples in there about how to

10:36

go about talking about it near just

10:38

the idea of talking to your kids

10:40

about resiliency. As he get a

10:42

friend name's Sally is you are on

10:44

the phone Wilson says just the way

10:46

she prioritize communicated something to her children.

10:48

What happened. This. Really impresses me.

10:50

So when Sally's three boys were of school

10:52

age if she was on the phone when

10:54

they walked in the door from school, she

10:56

immediately hung up. In her friends knew that

10:58

this was her policy so she would say

11:00

hey, you know kill have some touchy later

11:02

hang up in the first thirty minutes that

11:05

those boys were home with their thirty minutes

11:07

Know what did that communicate to those boys

11:09

that they were important? Yes and then she

11:11

was available In if you don't think you're

11:13

important thing, you don't think anything you think

11:15

is important. So why would you share anything

11:17

about your school day with your mom and

11:19

your mom is distracted. And she's cooking inches

11:21

on the phone and somebody elses I was

11:23

more important and when so they believe that

11:25

somebody elses I was more important. It will

11:27

crush their soil and they may not have

11:29

the words that they would even used to

11:31

express that and again no seemed to blame

11:33

for people listening to don't know this. This

11:35

is why we're on the right. Absolutely. You

11:37

know will try to give you hope that

11:39

you can do something differently but been available

11:41

to the conversation been available to the child's

11:44

heart cried army was so bad in school

11:46

today or or the dad it's the kid

11:48

up at school you know enjoys moment. Stats

11:50

on how to handle in a. Nod

11:52

to be available and encouraging those

11:55

conversations in a variety of ways

11:57

I think is really important because

11:59

if you. Boys which I don't

12:01

have the experience having. girls you did

12:03

ya but in a pig boys that

12:05

house you to glide would you eat?

12:07

Not much spray? What? Was your favorite

12:09

thing. Nothing. Players suffers. we had

12:11

effort wise enough. Their typically not very verbose

12:13

or house but see have to dig a

12:15

little and and create a talent for digging

12:18

in. Yes and what you said before is

12:20

really important. Was it at the end of

12:22

the last episode where you said you liked

12:24

the Art of Parity Indiana Perfect at it

12:26

says you don't have to have all the

12:28

answers to have a conversation with the kids.

12:30

Don't be afraid to have a conversation for

12:32

fear that they're going to have something that

12:35

happened a dance the you have no personal

12:37

experience with and so now you don't know.

12:39

Then you simply say. Oh my

12:41

goodness, I've never thought of that before.

12:43

Let's keep talking about what you could

12:45

have done differently or what you to

12:47

do differently tomorrow. So having your own

12:50

sense of confidence without perfection I think

12:52

is key Their Kathy before we moved

12:54

to another subject. For

12:56

that parents that has a situation

12:59

where their child's just in this

13:01

prolonged rut, they they're not finding

13:03

a way out of it. What

13:05

encouragement would you have for that

13:07

parent to stick with it's you're

13:09

being positive year, hopefully praying with

13:12

them and helping them as you

13:14

can spiritually emotionally in every way.

13:16

but in the back here mind

13:18

as a period going oh my

13:20

goodness is saying is taking way

13:22

too long to get out of.

13:26

Neither. Could be some other issues of

13:28

depression anxiety, but what do you do

13:30

to assess sellers apparent as a big

13:33

question? That is a question in. My.

13:35

For a sensor might be to

13:37

consider that it isn't the major

13:40

of of a clinical diagnosis might

13:42

be necessary for anxiety or depression

13:44

either. Some outline. Issues.

13:47

Related to stress that you might be unaware

13:49

of. There is nothing wrong with seeking help.

13:51

Another thing that I want to say is

13:53

is it possible that the right your child

13:55

is in. His. Arrest. He doesn't

13:58

need to get out as. And. When I

14:00

mean that is, you don't want him to

14:02

stay down in a negative, horrific mental health

14:04

space. Or what if you're asking me to

14:06

do something that isn't his to do? What?

14:09

Did it give an example the wedding and your

14:11

it isn't and yeah want your kid to play

14:13

the piano and he is not driven to play

14:15

the piano. His teachers you beetlejuice teeth is not

14:17

a piano player. This is where the mom and

14:19

dad have to say okay I love music but

14:21

I'm going to raise the kid God gave me

14:23

and he gave me a kid is not inclined

14:25

toward music and I'm on. Let him quit Now

14:27

I believe in fulfilling commitment. So if you say

14:29

gonna play a year soccer season a Sakara here

14:31

it's your own dad's the other for the you

14:33

use You made it to him to coach the

14:35

team and you going to play soccer for seasons

14:37

as you'd made this choice. but at the. End

14:39

of that season. If your kid is just whining

14:41

and complaining and desperate snack or back, this is

14:43

where you and your humility as a mom and

14:45

dad. Sit back and go. Okay, what's going on

14:47

here? Nice. It was a negative coach If it

14:49

was as a bad situation, maybe was the youngest

14:51

on a team and that's when he was defeated

14:53

allies and maybe want to try the season. This

14:56

is where you as the lord A give you

14:58

guidance here but there's nothing wrong with a stepping

15:00

back and going. okay. you don't have to be

15:02

an expert at everything and you don't have to

15:04

like everything. I want kids exposed to a lot.

15:06

The subway find out where the gifts are Yes,

15:08

but they don't have. To necessarily of feel

15:10

everything that we think they said. this

15:12

is where it's hard to be a peerage

15:14

and soon as we have to see

15:16

it in a wisdom again from teachers and

15:19

coaches and our siblings and even our

15:21

parents weiss you know this was the area

15:23

I started asked poorly and and and

15:25

I quickly maybe just mad because I played

15:27

football, basketball and baseball. While I have

15:29

two boys I think of course they're gonna

15:31

play a fighting force. Trend is like

15:33

six six, six seventy three kept. I have

15:36

a specimen of wire haired I remember

15:38

one of the first. Phone calls but he

15:40

called me when I was on the road.

15:42

he was in sixth grade and he goes

15:44

data one and gold medal as I asked

15:46

some trance or that in. Chess

15:49

I went. chests. Stats

15:51

gray aside aside, Amazing.

15:53

I've sort of. But

15:57

I I really had to do it. and then

15:59

I just from that. Point I made the

16:01

decision. His sports life will be his

16:03

all. encourage him but I'm not going

16:05

to be positive or negative about any

16:07

of it. You know, I'm just gonna

16:09

sit. That's good. How did you know

16:12

that? You know I just watched the

16:14

best teacher I had. We're outta control

16:16

beds at sporting events that were so

16:18

obnoxious to their kids. In. A baseball

16:20

game raise? Where? the My dad yelling at the kid

16:23

at the plate? Time. Member my

16:25

alcoholic father coming to a little league

16:27

game a mind and it's so shame

16:29

me. You know he aimed well. Empire

16:31

was. I was a strike and he

16:33

was doing it in that intoxicated sounds

16:35

and I'm Roberta standing at the plate

16:37

That made an indelible imprint on my

16:39

mind. So what? Like I your dad

16:41

yelling at his can I just wanted

16:43

been taken by the scruff of the

16:45

Mcintyre combined the bleachers and what do

16:47

you go? and so praise God for

16:50

the can spare is right. But I

16:52

missed in that context. Oh, but you

16:54

really? Again, I think and mom's would have

16:56

this issue to out and whatever the topic

16:58

as or the to vocational thing they're looking

17:00

at you get a back down. We'll.

17:02

Have to know he of raising right. It's

17:05

about your children making you look good. This

17:07

we have to separate this out. Yes

17:09

you period. So your kids become who

17:12

they can be. but they're separate from

17:14

you and I also say demands and

17:16

edge. Also more than a mom and

17:18

dad are there are I pray that

17:20

you commit to marriage and then your

17:22

sisters and daughters and aunts and best

17:24

friends and volunteers and all of these

17:26

other things that don't It's all wrapped

17:28

up in your kids that on of

17:30

your everything south is put upon the

17:32

child of stress that they cel is

17:34

going to potentially causing the collapse. So

17:36

again we can. Change we can lift out

17:39

of this if this is the belief that

17:41

somebody is listening With yet one thing that's

17:43

important in you mentioned it in the book,

17:45

the Self Talk. That inner monologue that takes

17:47

place in I Don't Have destroyed by Everybody

17:50

Trent Now we're talking about discuss Eastern Brain

17:52

research in college now. so this kind of

17:54

fun but he was saying the other night

17:56

not everybody really has that inner discussion a

17:58

majority of people do. Not that

18:00

was kind of interesting that some

18:02

people may not even have that

18:05

are but speak to the importance

18:07

Now we talk about it is

18:09

positive thoughts or self talk is

18:11

to add that biblical principles there

18:13

because some people as christians we

18:15

get a little the and you

18:17

know apprehensive about psychology and I

18:19

get that a separate I think

18:21

psychology proves scripture I don't have

18:23

a problem with and that's always

18:25

been my position. But but in

18:27

that regard speak to the healthiness

18:29

emotionally. Spiritually of talking yourself through something

18:32

in teaching your kids to do the

18:34

same. That's and that you brought that

18:36

up. As. I

18:39

said earlier, I think you're in

18:41

yesterday's program. Beliefs cause behavior. In

18:43

our beliefs, so up in our vocabulary

18:46

and that starts in our head. Most

18:48

of us don't say anything about that,

18:50

we haven't rehearsed in our mind. We've.

18:53

Side and we've won. Their Okay: If I

18:55

say that, what will they think of me

18:57

and how they react. So when your children

19:00

say I'm so stupid, they have had those

19:02

thoughts inside their heads if they're not seen

19:04

it, but they're acting like they think it's.

19:06

Then. You know that the self taught us

19:09

defeating them? so I think we're. We're.

19:11

Bold and me look at our kids and we

19:13

say i'm going to predict based on the fact that

19:15

you just gave up quickly the you been thinking you're

19:17

stupid. But you know what,

19:19

You're not stupid. This is new. We

19:21

haven't done double digit addition before. The

19:24

reason to go to school as learn

19:26

what you don't yet know and so

19:28

I don't want you to be defeated.

19:30

This is tricky or spelling rules don't

19:32

always work or you the best baseball

19:34

players get to for base three other

19:36

ten times. So why are you complaining

19:38

All the times? We've gotta teach kids

19:40

a better view of victory if I

19:42

to put it. that perspective. A perspective.

19:44

So it starts with us predicting what

19:46

they might be thinking, listen to what

19:48

they're. Saying is it starts in their

19:50

head and then challenge in them and

19:52

I would say depend upon the situation.

19:54

Again, it depends. You have to have

19:56

a good relationship with your kids to

19:58

say what makes you think you're stupid

20:01

You know when you said Kathy I

20:03

mean in my stomach. In my gut

20:05

I had a reaction they're about a

20:07

child saying I'm so stupid that just

20:09

ah, it's a pretence. Here's my eyes.

20:11

Oh it's so bad. A Gene and

20:13

the boys were in Washington Dc. I

20:16

had meetings and they went on a

20:18

kind of a D C tour of

20:20

probably the Lincoln Memorial in Washington Memorial,

20:22

but there was a young man of

20:24

that you know boy about the age

20:26

of trend. Try on that trip with

20:28

his parents and. At. Want with

20:31

the the hosts. It was asking

20:33

questions and he answered incorrectly and

20:35

he kept the boys. Tommy kept

20:37

hitting himself and ahead. I'm stupid

20:40

I'm stupid know right in front

20:42

of everybody and I just man

20:44

I went. When. You think was going

20:46

through that. Little. Boy's head, you know

20:48

it's let them kind of express it, but

20:51

I thought it was a good moment for

20:53

them to learn he was being way too

20:55

hard on himself, right? right? Sees

20:57

no in into the parents who here like

20:59

the alleged your heart for appearance gems. So

21:01

the peers who hears the boy or girl

21:03

muslims are stupid know it. It better break

21:05

your heart. You don't want you know it's

21:08

you. Don't want kids to think that Now

21:10

you have to know they're not stupid. They

21:12

weren't thoughtful, they weren't careful, they didn't plan,

21:14

they forgot to study, they didn't ask for

21:16

help, They ride. I didn't know the answer,

21:18

They did not know that or no answer.

21:20

You have to teach your children what is

21:22

reality and you don't allow the word stupid.

21:24

I was unprepared. I was careless. I rushed.

21:26

I was played folks. Teach them to

21:28

tell the truth in their head, in

21:30

their self taught and then outside of

21:32

their head of they well and honor

21:34

them when they're truthful and give him

21:36

a hug and say I'm so proud

21:38

of you for recognizing that you need

21:40

to study more because this is challenge.

21:43

It's great for that you've discovered you're

21:45

not stupid. This is new Yeah that's

21:47

so good spiritual application that let's hit

21:49

that them he had a we increase

21:51

a child's capacity for spiritual understanding when

21:53

it comes to their abilities, etc. The

21:55

I love that question We. Have to teach

21:57

kids that. You know Dad

21:59

is on the the around and he cares and

22:02

his on our side and we can pray and

22:04

he will teach us much but we cannot treat

22:06

him like Amazon Prime suspect. It's good that we're

22:08

not gonna get everything we want. we wanted the

22:10

way we won at right now. So do we.

22:13

Know. That he partners with us and

22:15

we're still responsible for things right. And I

22:18

think again to we pray and to be

22:20

pray with. Integrity and in

22:22

relationship. And to say, his authority. do we

22:24

know the whole of God? If children don't

22:26

know a whole lot about the bigness and

22:29

magnificence of god, it's easy to give up.

22:31

if all they know is that God is

22:33

wise and they don't get an answer to

22:35

a question other the will, God isn't wise.

22:38

And now he's nobody and now they drop out

22:41

of faith and the church. So to they know

22:43

the whole of god. Do they understand that? Worse

22:45

of has a place and and prayer as

22:47

a place and in the word as a

22:49

place and all of that it's so good

22:52

and you know even to teach your child

22:54

the bigness of god in a week to

22:56

talk Why I know when we went camping

22:58

we'd look up in the sky ago, discos

23:00

forever. The as I mean just think about

23:02

that. we sit in these hammocks and look

23:04

up at the stars and there's pretty amazing

23:06

and just the boy. the way the boys

23:08

with think about it. yeah you know talk

23:10

and it's a neat example of it. doesn't

23:12

have to be other accomplish you know he's

23:14

the most important chapter. I wrote in the

23:16

book is the last chapter on spiritual resiliency to

23:19

us because I don't want them given up

23:21

on dad right? Wasn't giving up on spelling a

23:23

math heat or but I sure don't want them

23:25

giving up and go on the big scheme of

23:27

things. The most important thing is their relationship with

23:30

the absolutely so gym is there's time. May.

23:32

I say something sir, Have we modeled

23:34

for our children that we have dry

23:36

spells? Toppling, Because if we

23:39

don't, when they have when they're terrified, there are

23:41

times I read the Hollywood of Dad and it

23:43

jumps off the page at me. It's like a

23:45

neon and it's lit it. It's blink. Get it?

23:47

It's like this is the first for your gabby.

23:50

And then there are times when I read the

23:52

script or in that doesn't happen. But I keep

23:54

reading the scripture in. if we don't tell our

23:56

kids that there are there, it's seasons when just

23:58

like every relationship, there's pizza. Rallies and mountain

24:00

tops and all That will teach her kids

24:03

that when they like daddy I was weeps

24:05

when he reads the bible I don't Mommy

24:07

always says the she loves church I don't

24:09

and they feel if they don't have as

24:11

much love for God as they have to

24:14

have and the guy doesn't love them as

24:16

much as God must love their parents And

24:18

this weekend that let our kids believe that

24:20

have been sick for a point. What a

24:22

good points Chassis this been so good we

24:25

didn't get to a couple things but if

24:27

you will give us permission like the Family

24:29

Resiliency Manifesto yeah I don't know about fifteen

24:31

points they're roughly will post those on the

24:34

website of foods do that some people to

24:36

read that says but here's the idea. get

24:38

the but. It has

24:40

all of that inside. resilient kids raising them

24:42

to embrace life with confidence. It's a great

24:45

resource for parents. You know when you look

24:47

at those core things again. This is what

24:49

we've been talking about the last couple of

24:52

days. It's good to teach him mass. It's

24:54

good to help them read and write novels.

24:56

Wonderful. Thanks teaching them how to do lies.

24:58

Some of. Those are

25:00

important. This is really important so they

25:02

can stand the storms of the slice.

25:05

Trust in the Lord regardless of their

25:07

circumstances. That's what real resiliency is gonna

25:09

bring them. And I so appreciate your

25:11

willingness to concentrate on this and the

25:13

way that you've brought it to life.

25:15

So thank you for being here. Oh

25:17

thank you for the opportunity. I have

25:19

loved it! Yeah and then of course

25:21

at focus on the family. This is

25:23

our mission in a marriage and parenting

25:25

is really the core of what we

25:27

do and we do that all in

25:29

the idea of a relationship. With Jesus, so

25:31

get in touch with us. A if you

25:33

don't know the lord, we'd love to have

25:35

that discussion with you and point you in

25:38

that direction. and and secondly, how to be

25:40

that parents? That. Builds. These

25:42

resiliency characteristics and do your children and

25:44

into yourself and again get a copy

25:47

of Kathy's books. You can do that

25:49

by making a gift of any amount

25:51

as you can do that monthly. That

25:53

really helps a gene and I support

25:55

focus that way. I know. John, you

25:58

Dina do that. Why do that? The

26:00

gonna be absolutely for being a monthly yes

26:02

supporters. it's worth it to me. what you're

26:04

doing matters well and it's is is makes

26:06

it all easier for the budgeting. rice for

26:08

sent out a one time gift as well

26:10

as he can afford It will get it

26:12

in your hands. We are christian ministry. We

26:14

get that we want to be there for

26:16

you and will trust. Others will carry the

26:18

cost of that's a good a copy of

26:20

the book and then also free. We have

26:22

the Seven Traits of Effective Parenting Assessment tool.

26:24

you can go. It takes about five to

26:26

seven minutes to fill it out. It'll tell

26:28

you where are you doing. Well and where

26:31

you may need some improvement and resources

26:33

like Kathy's book to get to bolster

26:35

those areas of weakness. So all of

26:37

that is there we have carrying crushing

26:39

you can talk with. We're doing our

26:41

best to be out there for years

26:44

or just pick up the phone and

26:46

give us a call. The I hope

26:48

your call today right now. Eight hundred,

26:50

the letter A and the word family

26:52

eight hundred to three to six, four

26:54

five Nine or Find Health are all

26:56

the resources we've mentioned here along the

26:59

way. or the details. Are in the

27:01

shown us And thanks for joining us

27:03

today for focus on the family With

27:05

Jim Daily I'm John Foreign Money Back,

27:07

I'm as we once again. Health and

27:09

your family thrive in class. It

27:17

can be challenging to inspire your community

27:19

to see life the way God season.

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So what's the solution? Well on June

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